I hope you all have enjoyed this story so far, I have lots in store for my favorite family, and I hope you stick around for it. Please leave a review, I love hearing from each of you!
Bekah-I'm beyond grateful for your friendship.
It was only 9am, and already Beca knew it was going to be a long day. Jesse had been all kinds of frisky when he woke up that morning, and though she assured him they didn't have time, he promised her it would only take five minutes. When had it ever taken just five minutes? As he began kissing her neck and brushing his hand against her stomach before dipping it into her shorts and running his fingers through her folds, paying special attention to her clit, she lost her willpower and gave in. Thirty minutes and two rounds later, she was scrambling to get in the shower and get ready for the Labor Day party they were throwing at their house.
Beca rubbed her forehead and sighed the moment she heard Alex moving around upstairs. She knew Alex's movements like the back of her hand and could tell this was going to be one of those days. Beca continued to listen as Alex banged around in the bathroom. Alex was not at all a morning person and was usually very quiet, so when she began to stomp down the stairs, it took everything in Beca not to run and hide. For a quick minute, she actually thought about crawling into the cabinet with the tupperware. She selfishly wondered if she could talk Alex into going back to sleep for a while after she'd eaten breakfast.
Beca was leaning over the kitchen island making a short list of the last minute things she needed from the grocery as well as things that needed to be done around the house when Alex walked into the kitchen and wrapped her body around her legs. Beca took a deep breath, this was definitely not going to be a good day.
"Hi baby."
"Ugh..." Alex responded.
Beca tried desperately to remember that Alex was only four years old, and that everyone was entitled to a bad day. "What do you want for breakfast this morning, yogurt and fruit or cereal and fruit?" Beca asked, not looking up from the paper.
Alex whined in response.
"Mommy, it's Sunday. I want waffles." She groaned.
The Swanson's had traditions, and homemade waffles topped with butter and hot maple syrup on Sunday was just one of those traditions. It was little things that made their house a happy home. But it was days like today when they simply didn't have the time, that made Beca think that traditions were silly and unnecessary.
"Alex, I'm very sorry, but we have a lot of people coming over for the party today. I really don't have time to make waffles."
Alex whined, which caused Beca to grit her teeth. It was too early and she hadn't had enough coffee to be dealing with this. Alex was by and large a very even keeled, well mannered child, but when she whined, it was like nails on a chalk board. Alex had her occasional moods, but for the most part, Beca and Jesse took for granted the fact that she was mature, and very rarely threw a tantrum. For whatever reason, the moment her feet hit the floor that morning, she was in an awful mood, and she needed everyone to know about it.
"What if I promise to make waffles on Saturday and Sunday next weekend?" Beca asked rubbing the top of Alex's head, secretly hoping that she would take the bait and cheer up.
Alex shook her head. "But I want waffles today."
Beca tried desperately to hold it together and concentrate on her list, but Alex was rubbing on her legs like a damn cat, and nearly pulled her shorts down as she whined and hung all over her. Grabbing at her shorts, she glared down at Alex.
"Alex!" She said, raising her voice slightly, "Enough!"
"I want waffles!" Alex yelled.
Beca finally stopped what she was doing and took a deep breath as she put her pen down. There was absolutely no way she was going to be able to focus with Alex directly under her. Taking another deep breath, she willed herself to keep her emotions in check. She wasn't about to let a four year old get to her.
"Alexandra, you have two options for breakfast. You can have yogurt and fruit, or you can have cereal and fruit. When you've made your decision, let me know." Beca explained calmly. Alex's shoulders drooped as she began to cry. Instantly, she threw herself to the floor and began to have a massive meltdown.
"I want waffles!" She screamed as she cried and kicked the floor. Beca stood over her with her arms folded as she glared at her daughter who was kicking and screaming and thrashing about.
"I'm hungry, you have to feed me!" She continued to cry.
"Yogurt, cereal, fruit." Beca repeated.
"NO!" Alex screamed as she kicked the kitchen island. Beca had half a mind to immediately pick her up and send her back to bed, without breakfast.
Instead, she stared at her, her lips pursed together, as Alex waited for her to make her next move. Her tear filled eyes looked up at Beca as she continued to whine and sniffle. "Are you done yet?" Beca asked.
Alex laid on the floor and stared back up at her, her eyes filled with tears. "I'm telling Daddy you're being mean to me!" She cried as she got off of the floor and ran upstairs.
"You go right ahead and do that." Beca mumbled as she went back to her list.
Up in the master bedroom, Jesse had just gotten out of the shower and was about to get dressed when he heard the knock on the door, and Alex crying hysterically.
He quickly put a pair of boxers on and opened the door, finding Alex in her pajamas, her hair a mess, and crying. He bent down to pick her up and ran soothing circles against her back, trying to get her to calm down. Alex's arms wrapped around his neck tightly as she laid her head against his shoulder.
"Baby what's wrong?" He asked as he swayed.
Alex continued to cry. "Mommy's being mean! She won't feed me!"
Jesse couldn't help but laugh. "What?"
"It's not funny!" Alex yelled. "She's going to let me starve!"
Jesse tried his best to keep a straight face. "Give me a minute to get dressed, then we'll go downstairs and get everything straightened out."
Alex agreed and laid on the bed as Jesse threw on a pair of jeans and a button down shirt. He grabbed the bottle of Calvin Klein cologne and applied it to his neck and wrists. After looking in the mirror to make sure he looked okay, he picked Alex up and headed downstairs. Beca was out on the deck opening the umbrellas and putting the cushions on the chairs.
"There she is Daddy! Yell at her!" Alex demanded. Jesse looked over at her.
"Excuse me? She has a name and no, I will not yell at Mommy, it's rude." He explained.
"I've heard you guys yell in your bedroom though!" Alex insisted.
Beca froze and Jesse's eyes went wide.
Jesse blew out a breath as he tried to move on. "Anyway! So what's going on between you two this morning?"
"I told you...Mommy won't feed me." Alex grumbled, her face in a pout.
"Ha!" Beca laughed. "Oh no ma'am, if you're going to go crying to Daddy, you need to tell him the whole story." She insisted.
"I told Mommy I want waffles." Alex said, relenting.
"And I told you that I have far too much to do this morning. There is not enough time for me to make waffles and clean up. I've offered you yogurt or cereal and some fruit...take it or leave it but if you choose not to eat what's been offered, just remember it's a long time til lunch."
Technically, Jesse did have time to make waffles and clean up, but Beca had put her foot down. She and Jesse did not undermine each other and strived to present a united front at all times. If Beca told Alex she couldn't have waffles, then that was the end of it. Jesse stood by and supported her decision.
Sitting down on one of the chairs, Jesse pulled Alex into his lap. "Listen, I'm sorry that you can't have waffles this morning. I know Sunday's are normally a big breakfast day for us, but we're having a party today, and a lot of people are coming over. Mommy and I have a lot of things to do to get ready, and so there's no time for a big breakfast. You're not always going to get your way Alex. If we say no to something, that's it. Throwing a tantrum isn't going to get you your way."
Alex nodded her head and wrapped her arms around Jesse's neck, hugging him tightly. Beca couldn't help but feel a slight bit of frustration and jealousy. As her mother, Beca got all of Alex's moods, good and bad. Alex was far more likely to lash out at Beca than Jesse. Beca tried to convince herself that it was because Alex was most comfortable around her, but occasionally, it still stung.
"Alex, I think you know what you need to do now." Jesse instructed. Alex scooted off of his lap and walked over to where Beca was standing.
"I'm sorry I wasn't nice to you Mommy. I'm ready for breakfast now." Alex whispered as she walked over to Beca.
Beca sighed and tried to shake off the frustration she felt with her as she gave Alex a hug and they headed inside.
Alex had requested Cap'n Crunch and a bowl of frozen peaches. As she sat at the table eating, Beca knew she had to bring the topic up, but would have felt much better broaching the subject had Alex not been in such a piss poor mood.
"Alex, I want to talk to you about something." Beca began as she sat down next to her.
Beca did not believe that her daughter was spoiled. Their family did not lavish her with gifts at every turn, nor did they give into her every request. Alex got presents for her birthday and for Christmas. Occasionally, if she had been particularly well behaved and asked for something when they were out, Beca and Jesse would allow her to get a small treat. However, what Alex lacked in material things, she more than made up for in attention. She was, after all, an only child. On top of being an only child, she was the first...everything. First child, first grandchild, first Godchild, first niece, etc. As the first, and as a very spunky, cute, and mature little girl, everyone fawned over her. Which was great, except for the fact that at some time, the constant, complete, undivided attention was going to come to an end. And that time was now.
On July 24th, Aubrey had given birth to Connor Matthew and Caroline Grace. Their friends and family were thrilled to have little ones once again. Beca knew that everyone would want to hold the babies and talk with Aubrey and Unicycle about how life with twins was. On top of that, Amy was five months pregnant with her first child, who she had just recently found out was a boy, much to Bumper's delight. Beca knew that she had to prepare Alex for the fact that the spotlight wasn't going to be on her the entire time.
"So, today, Aunt Aubrey and Uncle Matt are coming over with Connor and Caroline." Beca explained.
Alex nodded as she swallowed her cereal. "Yup."
Beca took a breath. "So I need you to understand that you might have to wait a little bit today to talk or play with someone. You have cousins now, and we want to make sure that they get attention as well."
Alex stared at her. "That's fine, I'll still be able to play with Aunt CeeCee." She said, not thinking anything of it. Beca knew she wasn't going to fully understand what this meant until the party was in full swing. And judging by her morning meltdown, Beca wasn't sure quite how Alex was going to respond.
"Mommy, are Uncle Luke and Aunt Chloe coming today?" Alex asked.
"No baby. I wish they could, but Aunt Chloe still needs to rest for a few more weeks." Beca explained.
It had only been a little over a week since Chloe's accident, and there was still a long way to go as far as physical recovery went. Emotional recovery was going to take even longer.
"Oh, good." Alex answered, happily relieved.
Beca's eyes went wide. "Alexandra Kate!"
Alex showed no emotion as she glanced over at Beca. "What? I'm mad at Aunt Chloe!"
Beca and Jesse had tried to explain things to Alex, but it wasn't easy. Four year olds don't exactly understand infertility, depression or drinking problems. Alex couldn't possibly comprehend that the reason Chloe hadn't seen her was because it reminded her of what she couldn't have.
Jesse walked into the kitchen to grab an apple when Beca glanced over at him.
"It's gonna to be one hell of a day."
"Aunt CeeCee!" Alex yelled the second the tall brunette made her way into the house. Jumping down from the chair, Alex made a mad dash into her arms. Stacie picked her up and hugged her tightly.
"What about the screams of joy when Uncle Scott shows up? I mean, I know I can't compare to the Goddess known as Aunt CeeCee, but I love you just the same." Scott laughed as he came in behind Stacie.
"Scotty!" Jesse yelled exuberantly as he ran into the foyer and hugged Scott tightly, slapping his back.
"Not exactly what I was expecting, but I'll take it."
Everyone was all smiles as they made their way into the kitchen and got caught up on what had been going on over the last week.
Alex's clinginess was as evident as ever as she refused to loosen her grip on Stacie's body. Though Stacie was more than happy to hold her niece, she couldn't help but notice the extra attention she was striving for. Stacie caught Beca's eye and pointed at Alex's back as she furrowed her brow in confusion. Beca shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Your guess is as good as mine", she mouthed.
The weather was beautiful for a cook out. The sun shinned brightly and a warm breeze swept through the trees as the clouds drifted through the blue skies. While the boys drank beer and manned the grill, the girls relaxed by the pool, sipping wine coolers and chatting.
"Hey who are the Giants playing on Thursday night?" Donald asked as he dropped a lime into his Corona.
"The Colts." Jesse said as he checked on the chicken. "And defense better get their shit together this time. I swear we always end up losing to Indianapolis."
"Bro, it's only preseason." Scott reassured him.
Jesse took a sip of his beer before answering. "True, but pre-season is pretty indicative of how we do in the regular season. And we have sucked the last few years. There's a lot riding on this season."
"I'm just glad you don't support New England, being from Boston and all. I might have had to kick your ass." Unicycle chimed in.
The small talk of football and work continued as the boys drank and prepared the food when Mike cleared his throat.
"Alright boys, it's time for a cheers. Ashley's pregnant!" He announced, his beer raised up.
Instantly the men were patting him on the back and congratulating him.
"She's due March 23rd. Morning sickness has been a bit rough on her, but we're really excited." He continued.
Bumper rested his hand on Mike's shoulder. "Dude, two words, pregnancy sex. That shit is awesome. If you thought trying was fun, just you wait!" He said with a wink. Jesse and Benji rolled their eyes.
Mike glanced over to Jesse. "Is it true? Did Beca want it more when she was pregnant?"
Jesse opened his mouth, but was instantly cut off by Bumper. Which, surprisingly, he was grateful for. Jesse really didn't feel like discussing his and Beca's sex life with his friends. The idea of telling his friends what his wife was like in bed did not sit well with him. He glanced down at the pool area where she was sitting with the girls in her sapphire bikini top and a pair of jean shorts. Talking about her sexual abilities felt completely disrespectful.
"...Amy has this move where she lifts her leg and-"
"DUDE! Amy is my friend, I don't want any images in my head of her doing anything sexual, please and thank you." Scott interjected. The guys sighed in relief and thanked Scott with their eyes.
"Oh, Becs, I almost forgot, we have lamaze class this Thursday at seven at the hospital." Amy remarked as she sunned on a lounge chair, sipping a virgin pina colada.
Beca's head pulled back in confusion. "Lamaze class?!" She questioned.
"Yeah, you know, 'hee hee hoo, hee hee hoo.' I know you pushed little butt over there out with no drugs, but some of us would prefer to be knocked out completely." Amy tried to explain causing Beca to roll her eyes.
"Amy, I know what Lamaze class is, the more important question is why the hell I'm going with you! That's Bumper's job!"
"Why do we call him Bumper?" Alex piped up as she swam around the pool with her floaties.
"Oh, that's because Hat and Unicycle were already taken." Stacie explained, causing everyone but Alex to laugh.
"Bec, it's just a formality in case Bumper chokes in the delivery room. You're the backup coach." Amy insisted, getting back to the question.
"I love you Amy, but I am not going in the delivery room with you." Beca reiterated.
"Fine, but you're still going to classes with me."
Beca rolled her eyes and gave in figuring she didn't have much of a choice.
"Hey, Aubrey, would you mind if I held my niece or nephew?" Beca asked as she looked down to Connor and Caroline who were relaxed in the shade on their playmat.
Aubrey picked up Connor and handed him over to Beca, whose heart instantly doubled in size as she took him in her arms. In his tiny swim trunks, swim top, and hat, he wrapped his hand around her finger and gazed up at her taking a big yawn and blinking. The sweet boy was absolutely precious.
"So, I guess this is as good a time as any..." Ashley began. The girls looked over at her.
"I'm pregnant. We're due March 23rd!" She announced, causing everyone to erupt into squeals of delight. The girls each took turns hugging her and congratulating her. Instantly the questions began of who she had chosen for her OB, how the morning sickness was going, and how she told Mike.
Alex watched from the pool, glaring at the adults. She hadn't gotten much attention since everyone had arrived. No one was interested in watching her dance, nobody would play with her on the swingset, and every time she tried to talk with someone, her mother was reminding her not to be rude and explaining that the adults were talking and she needed to wait her turn. Swimming over to the steps, she jumped out. She was tired of being ignored.
"Mommy, I want to sit in your lap." Alex insisted as she ran over to Beca.
"Baby I'm sorry, but you're sopping wet right now, and I'm holding Connor for a little bit." Beca explained gently. Alex stared as Beca held the tiny baby in her arms and smiled down at him, gently stroking his cheek.
"Why? You're my mommy not his!" Alex hissed. Beca stared at her. Alex had been fine for the past several hours, and Beca was hopeful whatever mood she had been in that morning was over with, but now she could see it starting to return.
"Alex, don't start this. When you've toweled off, I will hold you." Beca whispered softly, trying not to create a scene.
"I want you to hold me now! I don't want to towel off! You need to put baby Connor down right now mommy! I'm supposed to be your baby!" Alex yelled.
Beca leaned in closely and spoke sternly. "Alexandra, this is your last chance. If you can't straighten up, you will go inside. Final warning"
"NO! You're being a meanie head today!" Alex yelled loudly as she stomped her foot. Beca closed her eyes in frustration and embarrassment. She needed a minute to compose herself before she reamed her daughter out. In the mean time, Stacie stepped in.
"Alexandra! You need to apologize right now." Stacie demanded. "You do not call your mother names and you do not yell at her!"
Jesse and Beca had always had an understanding among their friends regarding Alex and whatever future children they would go on to have. Their friends were family to them, and Alex regarded them as her Aunt's and Uncle's. Beca and Jesse had made it clear from the beginning that it took a village to raise a child. Each of them was given the right to verbally discipline Alex and call her out when she was acting inappropriately. It was an extremely rare occasion that Alex ever acted rudely, but Stacie knew if there were ever a time to step in and help discipline, it was now.
Alex whipped her head around to face Stacie. "Leave me alone Aunt CeeCee! You can't tell me what to do!"
Beca was horrified. She didn't have the slightest clue what Alex's problem was, but she was over the attitude.
"She has every right to tell you what to do, do you hear me? You march your butt into the house right this second. Don't test me right now Alexandra Kate!" Beca boomed, the anger boiling up inside of her, like a raging fire.
Alex's eyes were wide as she had never heard Beca yell at her the way she just had. Before she could even move two steps, Beca grabbed her by the hand and she was dragging her up onto the deck and into the house. Jesse could see the aggravated look on Beca's face as they made their way past him.
"Hey, everything okay?" He asked. Beca shook her head as she walked Alex into the house with her.
Stacie was closely behind Beca and Alex, and stopped to talk to Jesse as they went inside.
"Hey, did something happen down there? The last time I saw Beca that pissed, Chloe had made Alex cry." Jesse inquired. Stacie shook her head.
"Dude, I don't have the slightest clue what Alex's problem is today, but good Lord is that child mouthy." Stacie explained.
Jesse closed his eyes and sighed. "Shit. Was she mouthing off again? She was in a mood this morning."
"She yelled at Beca, and then when I stepped in, she yelled at me."
Jesse was embarrassed. He and Beca did not raise Alex to behave this way, and no matter what was bothering her, it was no excuse for her to be disrespectful.
"Stace." He said apologetically, "I am so sorry. No matter what's bothering Alex, it is no excuse for her to be disrespectful. I'll go talk to her." Putting his beer down, he stepped inside to check in on his girls.
Standing Alex in the living room, Beca got down to her level and tried not to completely lose her cool. Beca had never been so embarrassed by Alex's behavior.
"You listen to me right now. I don't know what happened last night, if you didn't get enough sleep, or if you had bad dreams, but this attitude today is unacceptable. Unacceptable! You will not kick things, and you will not raise your voice to me, or Aunt CeeCee, or anyone else for that matter. Is that understood young lady?"
Alex stared at Beca, not saying anything.
"You have shown me that you cannot handle being outside with your family right now, you need to go up to your room and take a minute to think about your behavior." Beca continued.
Alex stomped her foot again.
"No, Beca! I'm not going to my room!" She yelled as she stuck her tongue out at her.
Beca was beyond furious. Alex had never behaved this way before. It was rare enough for her to have one tantrum in a day, let alone two. She stood in front of her, trying to manage her anger and think of her next plan of action when she heard Jesse's voice.
"Alexandra Kate Swanson! Upstairs, now!" He yelled.
Alex jumped slightly in surprise, not expecting Jesse.
Jesse was horrified to hear her talking that way to Beca and absolutely was not going to stand for it. When Alex stood there, still not moving, Jesse continued.
"Do you need my help? I said 'Get upstairs'!"
Instantly, Alex responded and Jesse watched as she stomped her way up the stairs, crying.
He then turned his attention back to Beca, his eyes wide.
"What the hell is her problem today?" He asked, hoping she knew it was meant as a rhetorical question.
Beca ran her fingers through her hair. "I have no idea."
"Hey, c'mere." He whispered as he pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly.
"You go back outside with the girls and enjoy yourself, I'll deal with little Miss Sassy Pants."
"Thank you." Beca whispered as she kissed him lightly on the lips.
She walked back outside, and Jesse headed up the stairs to find Alex sitting on her bed. She looked up at the sound of his footsteps. He sat down on her bed and stared at her, she knew instantly he was not happy.
"It is never, ever, okay to yell at your mother like that or to call her by her first name. Do you understand me?" He began. Alex nodded her head.
"Use your words, Alex."
"Yes sir." She pouted.
"I know you've had a rough day, but this type of behavior will not be allowed in this house. Your mommy does a lot for you, and you will always treat her with love and respect. By yelling at Mommy, you hurt her feelings and mine. I'm very disappointed in you right now. If I had spoken that way to Mimi or to one of my aunts, I would have been spanked."
Alex's eyes widened in fear at the thought of being spanked by Jesse. She lowered her head and began to cry.
"Are you going to spank me?" She whimpered.
Jesse shook his head. "No, I'm not going to spank you. But you are going to be punished. There will be no TV for a week, and I'm going to go talk to Aunt Jessica and tell her that you'll have to miss your dance classes this week."
Alex's biggest passion at the moment was dance, she lived for it, and never missed a class. Jesse knew that not being allowed to go was going to hit her hard.
Alex instantly looked up at him, sobbing.
"No! I want to go to dance class! I won't be mean to Mommy anymore. Please let me go to dance class! I'm sorry, I won't do it again, I won't do it again!" She begged. Jesse shook his head.
"You don't yell at Mommy, Alex. And I talked to Stacie, I know you yelled at her too. It is important that you respect the adults in your life. If Aunt CeeCee tells you to do something, you do it. You don't question it. Now, it's time you think about your actions. I'll be back to check on you in a little bit."
"No! Don't leave me alone, Please don't leave me alone Daddy! I'm sorry, I won't do it again!" Alex cried. Jesse got up off of the bed despite her protests and closed the door behind him.
"Daddy! I need you!"
He could hear her crumple to floor, sobbing, and though he wanted nothing more than to open the door again and pick her up and comfort her, he held strong and walked away. Alex was old enough to face consequences and she needed to learn quickly that this type of behavior was absolutely not going to be accepted. Sticking to his guns, he made his way down to the pool, ready to follow through with the discipline.
The girls were lounging, talking more about Amy's and Ashley's pregnancies when Beca saw Jesse.
"Hey, she okay?" Beca asked as he joined the girls.
"Well, no." He began. "Listen, Jess, will you let Chelsea and Kaitlyn know that Alex won't be at dance class this week? It's part of her punishment."
Jessica agreed that she would relay the message as Beca's eyes widened.
"Jesse, can I talk to you?" She asked. "Privately?"
Jesse and Beca had always agreed that when Alex needed to be punished, they would both agree on a punishment together. Instead, today, Jesse handed out a punishment completely on his own and Beca didn't really agree with it.
Walking into the pool house, Beca shut the door behind them and turned around to face Jesse, folding her arms across her chest.
"What's wrong?" Jesse asked, knowing she was annoyed. Beca raised her eyebrows in response.
"Thanks for including me in the punishment making decision!"
Jesse scoffed. "Seriously? You're mad about this?"
"You're damn right I'm mad about this! You cannot take her dance classes away. Dance is her life right now, not going to class will crush her."
"Yeah, well I already told her she wasn't going. I'm not going back on my word. And yes, it did crush her, and she's upstairs crying, but she got off easy. You know damn good and well that if we had done what she did to one of our parents, we wouldn't have been able to sit for a week and our mouths would have been washed out with soap. She mouthed off to you Beca! And she yelled at Stacie! I have never heard our daughter be so disrespectful in her entire life. I want her to learn immediately that her actions have consequences and that type of behavior will not be tolerated."
Jesse was aggravated. The daughter he had raised would never talk to her mother the way Alex had. It made him feel as if he was failing as a father.
"Well we are not our parents! We punish together, you and I agreed upon that long ago. Now she's going to be in an even worse mood, and guess who's going to get the brunt of it? Me! I always get the best of her and the worst of her. You're her Daddy, you can do no wrong." Beca informed him. Jesse shook his head as he leaned up against the bar and looked down at the floor.
"What? Go ahead, say it." Beca insisted, knowing there was more on his mind. Jesse looked up at her.
"You're too damn soft with her. You've been hesitant to so much as raise your voice at her since the day she was born. I don't want our daughter growing up to be a spoiled brat. And if we don't nip this in the bud now, that's exactly what's going to happen. Just because we almost lost her doesn't mean she gets a free pass through life." He admitted.
The words stung. Beca wasn't about to let it show, but hearing his true opinion had a total impact on her. Suddenly she found herself questioning all of her parenting skills and her ability as a mother. She nodded her head, trying her absolute hardest to contain the red, hot anger as it spread through her body and the burning tears brimmed to the surface, threatening to spill over. She refused to let herself cry though. Beca didn't want Jesse to know how much his words had hurt her.
"Look, were being terrible hosts, now is not the time or place for this conversation. So let's just table it for later tonight okay?"
Jesse nodded and tried to put his hand on the small of Beca's back as they walked out, but she quickly pushed it away.
"Do me a favor, don't fucking touch me." She whispered as she walked away from him, not bothering to even look at him.
Jesse sighed, knowing he had hurt her, and feeling immensely guilty about it. Deciding to give her some space, he walked slowly into the house and upstairs to Alex's bedroom. Upon opening her door, he found her crumpled up in a ball on the floor. In her damp swimsuit, she was fast asleep, her cheeks stained with tears.
Jesse felt like an ass for saying what he had said to Beca. Looking at his sleeping daughter, who was having a rough day, he understood it. He hadn't been there when Beca miscarried, he hadn't carried Alex for nine months and given birth to her. Losing Alex was always on Beca's mind. She had come so close to it, that the feeling never really left her. He knew why she struggled with discipline. It didn't make it right, but he understood it. And while he knew it was a subject they needed to talk about, he was wrong for bringing it up now.
Looking down at Alex, fast asleep, he knew there had to be a reason behind her mood, and he felt bad for making a lousy situation even worse. Bringing his body to the floor, Jesse grabbed for a blanket to cover Alex up, and laid down next to her, running his fingers through her hair. He prayed she woke up in a far better mood than she had fallen asleep in.
Beca continually told herself that this was the last party she and Jesse would ever throw. Though after the minor hiccup of the afternoon, things had calmed down greatly, and Beca found herself in a much calmer mood and ready to talk with Alex again. Making her way up the stairs, she had hoped the two hour break had resulted in a good nap and an improved mood.
Beca opened Alex's door and found her sitting at her desk coloring, still in her Sofia the First bathing suit. Her hair was a frizzy mess from being in the pool and having napped on the floor. Alex turned and looked up at the sound to find Beca standing in the doorway. Her eyes met her mother's for a brief second before she hung her head back down sadly, not wanting to look at her.
Beca walked over to the desk, and sat down on the floor. She looked up at Alex and used her fingers to lift her chin slightly, causing Alex to look at her with her bright blue eyes.
"Hi." Beca started. Alex looked at Beca before handing her a piece of construction paper.
"I made this for you." She mumbled.
Beca looked down at the white paper to see the words "I luv u Mommy. I am sorie I wuz meen." Surrounding the words, Alex had drawn flowers and hearts. Looking over to the table, Beca noticed a paper for Stacie.
Beca pulled Alex down from the chair and into her lap, wrapping her arms around her and kissing the top of her head.
"It's beautiful, thank you. This was a very nice idea, and I'm proud of you for thinking of it."
"I'm sorry I was mean to you." Alex whispered.
"And I'm sorry you had a bad day today and that things didn't go the way you wanted them to." Beca replied. Alex turned her body and rested her head on Beca's chest while Beca rubbed her back.
"Do you still love me? I was very mean today." Alex questioned.
Beca looked down at her young daughter. "I will always love you Alex. You're right, you haven't been very nice today, but that doesn't change my love for you at all. I may get frustrated when you do things I don't like, but I will always love you."
"I love you too Mommy."
"Do you want to talk to me about why you were upset today?" Beca asked, hoping Alex would open up to her.
"I don't want to go to school. I want to stay with you and Daddy. Mommy, I want to be your baby forever. I just want to be with you and do things with you. You were mad at me today. Then Daddy yelled at me too. And when I cried, and told him to stay, he leaved me anyway. Even Aunt CeeCee yelled at me. Nobody loved me very much today, I was just in the way." Alex explained as she tilted her head back to look up at her mother.
Beca instantly felt guilty. She loved her job as a music producer, and loved how it provided for her family, but it was a demanding job. Beca left the house most mornings before Alex was even awake, and usually didn't come home until seven or eight. There was just barely enough time to give her a bath and tuck her into bed. And as she thought back over the day, Beca realized all the the opportunities that she missed. She could have spent time with Alex this morning, but instead, she was frustrated with her clinginess and irritable mood. She could have played with her in the pool, but instead she chose to spend time catching up with her friends. And she could have taken the time to hold Alex on her lap, despite the fact that she was soaking wet, but instead she got preoccupied with holding Connor and paying attention to him. Suddenly, Beca wondered about all the missed opportunities over the years.
"You will always be my baby. I need you to know that. No matter how old you get, or where you go, you will always be my baby, and I will always love you more than anything else in this world. I'm very sorry that I got frustrated with you today, I should have seen that you wanted my time and attention." Beca explained, needing Alex to know that she would always love her.
"Mommy, does this mean I can still go to dance class?" Alex asked, causing Beca to sigh.
"No, it doesn't. You still made hurtful choices today, and you need to be punished for that. I'm sorry, but what Daddy said sticks, no dance class this week." Beca may not have fully agreed with Jesse's decision, but what was done was done. She was going to uphold his decision.
"But it does mean that you can come back downstairs and have some dinner and smores for dessert."
Alex wasn't happy about the decision, but seeing as she had no other choice, she accepted it. Walking over to her closet, she put on a pair of jean shorts, and her Boston University sweatshirt that Jesse's sister Amanda had given her just the week before. Feeling much warmer, she raised her arms and Beca picked her up as Alex rested her head on her shoulder and placed her thumb in her mouth.
Luke was downstairs doing dishes when Chloe's phone rang. Glancing over at it, he saw Beca's number. He grabbed a dish towel and dried his hands off before picking it up.
"Hey Beca." He answered.
"Oh...hey Luke." Beca replied, slightly confused. Luke laughed at the exchange.
"You called Chloe, I just have her phone down here. She was upstairs sleeping and I didn't want it to disturb her. But she should be up now, I'll go check."
He walked upstairs and slowly pushed the door open. Chloe was awake, and propped up on three pillows as she watched The Golden Girls. She turned her head at the sound of Luke.
"Hey...Beca's on the phone, are you up for talking?" He gently asked, not wanting to push her. Chloe smiled and nodded her head.
Luke put the phone on speaker and placed it next to Chloe.
"We miss you!" The girls exclaimed as they all joined in on the conversation. Tears welled up in Chloe's eyes.
"I miss you too." She croaked, her voice still scratchy from sleep. "I'd much rather be out at the pool with you guys than laying in bed all day."
"Hey Red! Be sure to save those drugs if you have any spares left over, I may need them when this human decides to make it's way out of my-"
"AMY!" Jessica yelled, cutting her off.
Chloe strained as she tried to hear Lily mumbling.
"Is that Lily?" She asked.
"Umm...something about acupuncture and sticking needles in your scalp. I wouldn't pay much attention to that." Beca explained.
"We love you Chloe, we can't wait to see you again!" Stacie yelled.
Chloe smiled and said her goodbyes before ending the call and looking over to Luke who was sitting next to her in bed.
He leaned over, capturing her lips in a soft, slow kiss as tears fell down her cheeks.
"I know the recovery sucks, but you're doing good with it. Before you know it, you'll be back on your feet again." Luke reminded her.
"Thank you for never giving up on me." She whispered.
"I said forever, and I meant it."
"Me too."
Beca was already in bed when Jesse headed up to their bedroom. Immediately he could tell she was still frustrated with him. She refused to even glance at him when he walked in, and it killed him. He hated fighting with her. It was a very rare occurrence, but when it happened, it made him feel absolutely awful. He never wanted to see Beca upset.
After getting undressed and brushing his teeth, he crawled into bed and scooted over to her, wrapping his arms around her.
"If you're looking for sex, you can just forget about it. It's you and your hand tonight." She hissed, not looking at him. Her body was rigid.
Jesse sighed. "I deserve that. I'm sorry for bringing a topic like that up out of nowhere, especially when we had company over."
"Sure." Beca shortly answered. Her arms were folded across her chest and Jesse could tell she was closing in on herself.
"Don't shut me out, please don't shut me out." He whispered.
"You don't know what it's like for me!" She suddenly yelled. Beca hated when she got upset like this and found it hard to control her voice and her emotions.
"You're right, I don't know, because you refuse to ever talk about it with me. So let's talk about it." Jesse countered.
Beca turned her body to face Jesse's.
"I get it, I'm too soft with her, I know that I am. But I also know that I work roughly fifty five to sixty hours a week and barely see her during the week. So you'll have to forgive me for not wanting to spend what little time I do have with her yelling at her and punishing her. The whole reason behind her mood today was that she was feeling unloved. Especially when she begged you to stay with her and you walked away."
Jesse sighed. "She had no right to yell-"
Beca cut him off. "No, she didn't. But it got my attention, didn't it? Even if it was negative attention, it was still attention none the less. That's all she was looking for today, was somebody to hold her and tell her they loved her. I-"
"If she was looking for att-"
"Hey, I listened to you, now it's your turn to listen to me." Beca pointed out. Jesse nodded his head, relenting.
"Yes, you're right, she didn't go about things the right way today. But Jesse, she's four, she isn't always going to have the words to express her feelings. She's apprehensive about starting PreSchool, and she felt pretty unloved today. Yes, I do need to work on my discipline with her, but you could also stand to not let your emotions get the best of you and not discipline when you're angry. It's too late now to change the punishment, if you go back on your word one time, it sets a precedent. But for next time..."
Jesse knew everything that Beca had said was right. Neither of them was the perfect parent, and they could both stand to learn from the other.
"You're right. I do need to learn to not discipline when I'm angry. It's something I will do my best to work on."
Beca smiled. "And I will work on correcting inappropriate behavior with her."
Jesse leaned in and kissed her softly. "Does this mean I'm forgiven?" He whispered.
Beca smiled through the kiss. "I suppose so."
After a few minutes of kissing, Jesse suddenly pulled back from Beca.
"Really random, but can I ask you something?" Jesse questioned, not exactly sure if he even wanted to know the answer.
"What's up?"
"Umm..." Beca could tell he was uncomfortable, and unsure of how to ask what question it was that he needed to ask.
"Jess...whatever it is, just ask me." Beca insisted. Jesse took a deep breath.
"Do you talk about our sex life with the girls?"
Beca was caught slightly off guard by the question, and found herself unsure of how to respond.
"Umm...sometimes? I mean, I don't go around telling them how big you are or what your turn on's are, but we've talked before about how many times a week we have sex, what sex is like in pregnancy, and after the baby is born. But, you know me, I'm a pretty private person. Especially when it comes to our sex life. What you and I do in private is between you and me. Now, Stacie and Amy? They'll tell the whole world about their sex life."
Jesse laughed, knowing exactly how those two could be. He loved them both dearly, but neither of them had any kind of filter.
"Do you talk about our sex life with the guys?" Beca asked, her interest now piqued.
"Mike was asking about pregnancy sex. Bumper pretty much dominated the entire conversation. But after a few minutes we couldn't take it anymore and Scott forced him to switch topics. I would have contributed to the conversation, but as I thought about what to say, I just couldn't." Jesse sighed as he looked at Beca. "Telling my friends, hell, telling anybody what you're like in bed just feels so disrespectful to you."
If Jesse was completely honest with himself, Beca was incredible in bed, and he could barely keep his hands off of her. He loved how present she was during sex. She was vocal, she was focused, and she was just as concerned about getting him off as she was about getting herself off. She knew what she liked, and wasn't afraid to tell him, she could laugh at herself, and she was more than willing to experiment and try new positions. He loved being with her, and couldn't imagine ever being with someone else.
Beca curled up against Jesse as he wrapped his arms around her. She felt safe, warm, and loved.
"I never want to disrespect you, I love you too much. I'm sorry I was such an ass today." He apologized as he lightly scratched up and down her arm. He could see her eyes getting heavy, and knew she had to be exhausted.
"I forgive you, really, and I love you, but right now, I love sleep more." She whispered.
Jesse chuckled as he kissed the top of her head. "Sleep, love. We can talk in the morning."
