Hello my lovely readers!

Sorry this took a little bit longer to get out, but I struggled a bit with how to perfect this chapter, and I refused to post it until I was fully satisfied. So thank you for your patience.

Once again, your reviews and words of encouragement mean so very much. Nothing means more to a writer than knowing that people are reading and appreciating your work. It has been so wonderful getting to know you all. I hope you enjoy this next chapter.

A big thank you to my beta CajunQueen714...Where would I be without your guidance and patience? If you guys haven't done so yet, please check out her latest story 'Killing Me Softly' You will not regret it!


From the moment Beca got up in the morning until the time she went to bed, she worked hard and luckily, she had been blessed with the ability to sleep even harder. So, on the rare occasion that she was awake in the middle of the night, it was usually because she was unable or unwilling to turn off the thoughts in her head long enough to drift off.

Beca laid in bed and watched as the clock turned from ten o'clock to ten thirty to eleven o'clock. She sighed, feeling completely frustrated about the events of the evening. She had to be up in six hours and she was still wide awake. Jesse on the other hand, was passed out next to her without a care in the world. Once he got it in his head that he wanted to sleep, he was out in less than ten minutes.

The longer she laid there the more she thought about the discussion she and her dad had after dinner. She replayed the entire discussion over and over like it was on some kind of loop. Beca knew he didn't mean it at all, but by bringing up her mother, Beca felt as if her dad was comparing her to the woman who had left her so many years before. But Beca wasn't her mother, she refused to be. There had been countless nights after she left that Beca laid awake and wondered what she could have possibly done to make her mother not love her. Was she too much work? Too needy? Too irritating? Beca never did get an answer. Only her father's continued reminders that it wasn't in any way her fault.

Yes, Beca worked a lot, but it wasn't the same. Beca made sure to at least be home every night to put Alex to bed. And as they laid in bed together reading stories and talking about their days, Beca made sure Alex knew she was loved, that she was wanted. Beca always made sure that as Alex closed her eyes each night, she felt safe, content, and most importantly, loved. She never wanted to ever give Alex a reason to question her mother's love for her.

But the more Beca reviewed the discussion in her head, the more she realized her father was right. About working too much that was. Beca was an extremely prideful person, she hated when she was wrong, and she hated even more when she had to admit that she was wrong. But at the end of the day, Jesse deserved more from her. Alex definitely deserved more from her. But they weren't the only one's who deserved more. The more she thought about it, the more she visualized herself like a pie. Each relationship was it's own individual slice and the more she sliced the pie, the smaller the slices became. Chloe was dealing with infertility issues, and falling head first into a horrible depression, Cynthia Rose had just gotten married, Stacie, Jessica, and Lily were getting married, Amy was already halfway through her pregnancy, Ashley's pregnancy had just begun, and Aubrey had just given birth. And Beca was only half present for all of the events. Lately, the only thing that seemed to get one hundred percent of her undivided attention, was, not surprisingly, work. Stacie had joked many times that if she didn't work with Beca, she'd never see her. And while it was meant to be a light, funny comment, there was plenty of truth to it.

Beca thought back over the past few years. It hadn't been an easy road by any stretch of the imagination.

Alex was eight months old when Beca's internship at Columbia began. Three days a week, Beca spent her days gathering coffee orders, delivering lunches, and trying desperately to be heard. By the time she got home at the end of the day, she more often than not fell asleep breastfeeding Alex. When she wasn't at the record label, she was in class, or leading the Bella's.

If it hadn't been for Greta, she wasn't sure how they would have gotten this far or accomplished the things they had. Beca was convinced for the longest time that Alex's first word was going to be 'Greta'. To her total shock and surprise, as Alex played on the floor one lazy Sunday afternoon, she started babbling like she always did when she suddenly uttered her first word...'Mama'. Beca's heart easily grew ten sizes that day.

Though it was hard to believe, there was a point when their sex life was almost non existent. Two times a week was considered good for her and Jesse. Many nights, as she collapsed into bed at the end of the day, Beca would look over at Jesse and grimace, wanting nothing more than to sleep. Lucky for her, Jesse was always understanding, and never pressured her into anything she didn't want to do. However, it didn't erase the guilt she felt over not being more available to him.

Beca twiddled her thumbs as she stared at the ceiling. So much of her life over the past three and a half years really had been devoted to her job. Thinking back on it, Columbia Records was where Alex had taken her first steps...

*Flashback Beca's POV*

"Hey million dollar baby." Jesse greeted as he lightly kissed me on the lips.

On a gorgeous May afternoon, Jesse and Alex had met up with me in the city to take me to lunch.

"Hey prince charming." I replied, unable to hide the smile on my face. In his arms, Alex began to babble and clap her hands.

"Hi baby girl!" I said, my smile wide as I kissed her hands.

"I just need to grab my bag and I'll be all set to go." I announced. Jesse nodded his head as he placed Alex on the floor and gave her a few toys to play with. I had barely gotten five feet down the hall when I heard his voice.

"Beca!" Jesse yelled out. I immediately turned my body in the direction of his voice.

"What?!"

But I didn't need an answer. The moment I turned around, I saw what he was seeing. Alex had pulled herself up and was standing there, staring at me. My eyes were huge as I stared back at her. Instantly, I got down to my knees as my arms stretched open.

"Alex! Walk to Mommy, walk to Mommy, baby." I encouraged her.

With a big smile on her face, she tentatively took her first step, followed by her second. She was taking her third step when she lost her footing and fell onto her bottom. Looking up at me, her bottom lip jutted out and began to quiver.

"It's okay baby, try again. Try again for Mommy, sweet girl."

Using her hands to push herself back up again, she stabilized herself and looked back at me. Instantly her face broke out into a smile again and she laughed. With her arms stretched out in an attempt to balance herself, she took four more steps and walked straight into my arms.

With tears streaming down my face, I picked her up and smothered her face with kisses.

"You walked! You walked all by yourself! Mommy is so proud of you!" I ecstatically gushed. Jesse came over to join us as he kissed the top of my head and rubbed Alex's back. My baby had taken her first steps just two weeks before her first birthday, and I had been here to see them.

Beca glanced over at the clock, 2:14am. Sighing, she finally gave up and pulled the covers off of herself. She wasn't going to be able to sleep tonight, and it was pointless to try.

Standing in the middle of her bedroom, she knew exactly what would take her mind off of things. Beca smiled as she walked over into her walk in closet and closed the door. Turning the light on, she grabbed the step stool and brought it over to the corner of the room. Up on the shelf, lay six different scrapbooks.

As only Jesse Swanson would do, he had made it a point to document every single date he and Beca ever went on. Literally, every single date. He would insist they take a picture to document the night, and would then print said picture and place it in the scrapbook, with the date and the event they attended. And while Beca grumbled and griped every time Jesse said it was picture time, secretly, she was beyond thankful for all of the saved memories.

Standing up on the step stool, Beca grabbed the very first book, which documented their freshman and sophomore years.

Beca and Jesse's very first date had been no small feat. Looking back, Beca realized she shouldn't have expected any differently. Jesse didn't do anything small. On that weekend in April, Jesse had taken Beca to Manhattan and gotten them tickets to see Newsie's on Broadway. They had gone to an authentic Chinese restaurant for dinner, explored the city, and enjoyed the full Broadway experience. That night, Beca lost her virginity to Jesse. That night, she had given him her body, and her heart, and never once did she regret it.

Sitting down on the floor, Beca grazed the cover with her hand.

"Every love story is beautiful

but ours is my favorite"

She opened the book and smiled at the first picture that caught her eye.

In a maroon, spaghetti strap dress, with gold chandelier earrings, Beca leaned into Jesse, who was dressed in a pair of dark wash jeans with a navy blue button down shirt. Both of them sporting huge smiles as Jesse wrapped his arm around Beca's waist, pulling her closer to him.

Beca looked down at the caption beneath it.

Saturday, April 28th, 2012

Our first date

For only having been together for five years, Jesse and Beca had experienced many things together. They had both agreed from the beginning that while dinner and movie dates were nice, they usually craved something a little more adventurous. Though Beca had a fear of flying, she loved to travel. Together, Jesse and Beca had visited ten states so far, including Massachusetts, New York, Vermont, North Carolina, South Carolina, California, Tennessee, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and Maryland/Washington DC.

They had explored winery's together, seen countless Broadway shows, taken a dinner cruise through the Hudson River, attended thirty concerts, and despite Jesse's protests, and fears of dying, they had even gone sky diving.

As Beca flipped through the book, she smiled as she traced her fingers over the pictures and remembered those incredible dates the two of them had shared. Though Jesse could be overly perky, optimistic, and full of "fun facts", she truly did enjoy the time they spent together and the many dates they had shared. One thing was for sure, life with Jesse Swanson was anything but boring.

Beca looked down at a picture from the summer before their junior year. As was tradition in the Swanson family, Bill and Julie had invited everyone to spend two straight weeks at their Beach House in Cape Cod for relaxation, the beach, and uninterrupted family time.

On the beach, with the waves crashing around them and the sun setting in the background, Jesse held Beca in his arms and kissed her. They both displayed full smiles.

Thursday, July 24th, 2014

Cape Cod, MA

It may not have helped her to sleep, but the pictures did at least bring a smile to Beca's face and help take her mind off of things.


Jesse shifted in his sleep, and leaned in closer to Beca, only to realize she wasn't in bed with him. Opening his eyes, he looked over to her side of the bed to find an empty space. Jesse sat up and looked over at the clock. 4:26am.

He glanced over to their bathroom, thinking she might have gotten up to pee, but the door was open slightly, the lights shut off. Jesse rubbed his eyes and got out of bed, throwing his robe on.

He walked across the hall to Alex's bedroom. Peeking in, he saw that Alex was fast asleep in her bed, her body sprawled out and the covers kicked off. Jesse watched as her chest rose and fell with each breath she took. He walked over and gently pulled the covers up over her, tucked her in and kissed her on the forehead before he made his way out and closed the door.

Jesse walked down the stairs trying to think of where Beca could be. The main floor of the house was blanketed in darkness. The living room lights were off, the kitchen lights were off, the study lights were off. Opening the door to the basement, he made his way down thinking she might have been unable to sleep and decided to work out. No such luck. After a full search of the basement, Beca was nowhere to be found. He walked back up the stairs and immediately walked over and opened the door to the garage. Both the Volvo and the BMW were there and clearly hadn't been taken out recently. Turning back around, Jesse looked over to the island. Beca's purse and car keys were lying on the table, untouched. In the mudroom, her sneakers laid in their usual spot.

Jesse was starting to panic slightly, he didn't have the slightest clue where Beca could be at four thirty in the morning. Trying his best to remain calm and not immediately launch a search party, he opened the sliding glass door and looked out into the backyard. Beca wasn't in the pool, nor was she in the hot tub.

He talked himself into searching one more place. If he didn't find her there, he was going to start making phone calls.

Jesse quickly walked over to the front door and opened it, looking out onto the porch swing.

In the moonlight, Beca sat in Jesse's Treble sweatshirt and a pair of leggings, looking through pictures. Her hair was in a messy bun, and a coffee mug was between her legs. Jesse finally felt himself breathe again, knowing she was safe.

Beca looked up at him. "Hey, what are you doing up?"

"I should be asking you the same thing!" He replied, his voice slightly panicked. "I just woke up, not really sure why, but anyway, you weren't in bed so I thought I'd come find you and make sure you were okay. I nearly had a panic attack trying to figure out where you were."

"I'm sorry." She genuinely apologized, feeling bad that she had worried him. "I couldn't sleep and decided to get some fresh air."

Jesse walked over and sat down on the porch swing with her. Beca lifted her legs and Jesse sat down. Jesse began to rub her feet, causing Beca to close her eyes and sigh longingly. She was absolutely exhausted, and the foot rub felt incredible.

Jesse knew something was up. Beca never had a problem with sleeping unless she was stressed about something. If he had to guess, she was taking the argument she had with her dad the previous night to heart. But, Jesse also knew that he shouldn't push things, not at four thirty in the morning. When Beca was ready to talk, she would. Pushing her when she wasn't ready was only going to cause her to close in on herself.

Beca sat up and put down her coffee mug and the scrapbook she had just been looking through. Jesse could tell just by her eyes that she was tired. Had she not had a jam packed schedule at work that day, he would have told her to call Mark and tell him she was coming in late. But she simply didn't have that option, there were simply too many things on her plate.

Bringing her body towards his, Jesse opened his arms, allowing Beca to settle against him.

"Hey beautiful." He whispered as she got comfortable and rested her head against his chest. Beca wrapped her arms around Jesse's waist and Jesse kissed her forehead as his hand slipped under her shirt and lightly scratched her back. Beca closed her eyes in relaxation as she breathed him in. A cool breeze swept across the porch, blowing her hair lightly. She knew if she allowed herself, she'd be asleep in seconds, but she had to be up in twenty minutes. Her chance for sleep had passed. Beca knew she was just going to have to stay caffeinated and power through the day. But in that moment, she wanted nothing more than to stay in Jesse's arms.

"Hey, you know what I realized tonight?" She mentioned, feeling more relaxed than she had all day.

"What's that?" Jesse asked, his hand still scratching her back.

"You and I have only been together for five years. I was looking through our scrapbooks. Our first date was April 28th, 2012. We've been together for five years and five months. It just feels like it's been so much longer than that." Beca explained softly. It really had felt like she had known Jesse her entire life. He knew Beca better than she knew herself. Jesse made Beca feel loved, wanted, and safe. As cheesy as it sounded, he was everything to her, and she couldn't imagine her life without him.

Jesse smiled and looked down at Beca in awe. "I'm so proud, all this time, and I thought I was the only one keeping track of dates around here."

"You are, nerd. I knew the exact date from looking through the scrapbook." Beca laughed, her body vibrating against Jesse's. "I'm good with months and years, days not so much."

"Ladies and gentlemen, it's true, Beca Mitchell-Swanson actually does have flaws." Jesse announced, laughing as Beca playfully swatted at his chest.

"Please." She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I suck at math, I can barely reach anything without a step stool, I'm always early to events, and I'm terribly anti social."

Jesse squeezed her in his arms. "I prefer to call it 'selectively social'" He explained, causing Beca to smile.

Their playful banter soon subsided as a comfortable silence fell over them and they laid together on the porch swing wrapped up in each other's arms. Jesse pressed his nose against Beca's hair as he breathed in the scent of her strawberry mango shampoo. Placing soft, sweet kisses in the nape of her neck, Jesse sighed contentedly. She had lotioned her entire body in her vanilla and brown sugar body lotion. Both scents mixed together, enveloping him. God, she smelled absolutely incredible, and knowing he couldn't have his hands on every inch of her body for at least an entire week just made Jesse want Beca that much more. But he respected her, and knew to keep his hands to himself. Instead, he kissed the top of her head just as the alarm on her phone went off, signaling it was time for her to get ready for work.

Beca shut the alarm off and looked up at Jesse. Her piercing blue eyes staring into his chocolate brown eyes, calling to him. Leaning forward slowly, hoping this was what she was looking for, he pressed his lips to hers. Responding instantly, she turned her head towards his, and melted into the kiss, sighing softly. Jesse's hand rested on Beca's waist as he rubbed her stomach lightly while Beca's hand was in Jesse's hair, pulling lightly as she continued to sigh happily against his lips. Jesse knew he had to pull back soon before the situation got out of hand, but he was so lost in the essence of Beca, so lost in the sounds escaping her mouth, he wasn't sure he could.

Finally mustering up all the will power he could, Jesse forced himself to pull away. Both of their breathing was heavy.

"We have to stop." He whispered, his face mere inches from hers. Beca nodded her head, knowing he was right. Kissing him one more time, she ran her fingers over his chest.

"I love you." Beca whispered, her eyes staring deeply into Jesse's. He smiled,and leaned back towards her, unable to resist kissing her once more.

"I love you too."


Beca stared at the screen in frustration as she tried in vain to figure out a way to make the schedules work.

"I swear I'm going to kick him in his fucking face the next time I see him" She grumbled to herself.

Beca was well respected at work, and got along with pretty much everyone. Everyone except Jax Hanson, who constantly felt the need to go to battle with her and turn everything into a fight. Jax was less than thrilled, to say the least, when Beca was hired, and hated to see someone so young doing something he had worked his whole life to perfect. He knew Beca was incredible, and he hated her for it. As a result, he fucked her over every chance he got. Today was no different.

"I really don't give a shit if Snoop has some genius idea to make a Christmas album. What is it with everyone needing to make a Christmas album anyway?! If you've heard one Christmas album, you've heard them all. Same ten songs on every damn one of them." She continued, muttering and grumbling as she played around with different time slots. She had Beyonce, J. Cole, and Rachel Platten to get into the recording studio. But because Jax felt that he had seniority, he had kicked Beca's artists off the schedule to accommodate for his own artists. She had half a mind to bust into Mark's office and demand that Jax suck his own dick and since he couldn't do that, he wasn't lucky enough to be that big, then he either stop being a dick, or get fired. But because she wasn't a tattle tale, she was resigned to put her big girl panties on and figure it out on her own.

She continued to work on the Excel spreadsheet when Damian walked in and took a seat in a chair in the corner of her office. Beca barely acknowledged him with a wave as she continued to talk to herself.

"Beyonce takes precedence over everyone, Snoop can just wait, she's still got an hour left in studio B, and if I move J. Cole to two o'clock..."

Damian could tell she was in her own little world at the moment and was paying no attention to anything going on around her.

"So, the Queen stopped by for a visit last night." He casually mentioned as he placed his hands out in front of him and examined his nails.

"Yeah?" Beca replied in a far off voice, not even looking up from her computer. "How did that go?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. We had tea and crumpets, talked about George and Charlotte, and of course the ever present battle for world peace."

"That's nice." Beca said, going right along with the conversation. "If this asshole bumps me up one more fucking time I am marching into his office and shoving my foot up his ass."

"Anyway, Pat's coming over in a few minutes, we're gonna go grab some lunch. Can I pick you up something?" Damian offered.

"Uh-huh, sure."

Beca was so fixated on creating a schedule that worked, that she would have agreed to pretty much anything. Damian was convinced she would have handed over her credit card at that point if he had asked her to.

"Indian food?" He suggested, knowing Beca hated Indian food more than anything. The spices and fiery sauces were all just too much for her taste buds. Usually, she and Stacie grabbed something, but he could tell she was intensely focused and had a feeling she wouldn't eat anything any time soon unless it was brought to her.

"Yeah, that's fine. Whatever you want."

Damian rolled his eyes as he got up from the chair and walked over to her desk.

"Beca!" He finally yelled as he stood in front of her desk. She jumped slightly as the sound of his voice brought her back into reality.

"What's going on with you today?" Damian questioned.

"I'm fine." She shrugged. "Why are you yelling at me?"

"Why? Because your eyes have barely left the computer screen since I walked in here, you asked me how my visit with the Queen went and you agreed to eat Indian food… which you hate. What's up?"

Beca sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. She glanced up to Damian. "Let me ask you something, do you think I work too much?"

Damian pursed his lips together as he folded his hands and brought them to his face. "This is one of those 'does this outfit make me look fat' questions isn't it? I'm screwed no matter how I answer."

Beca rolled her eyes. "Just answer the question."

Damian sighed. "Do I think you work a lot? Yes. Do I think it's your choice? No. You're good at what you do Beca, damn good. That's why you're in such high demand. But, being in high demand means more hours. It's a double edged sword. I know you feel guilty about it. You wouldn't be asking the question if you didn't."

Beca's face softened as she swallowed thickly.

"Knock knock!"

Beca and Damian looked over to the door to see Patrick, Damian's boyfriend standing in the hallway.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything, I can always wait out-"

"Oh, please, don't be silly." Beca said with a wave of her hand. "You guys go, enjoy your lunch!"

"Bye Bec, I'll bring you back a sandwich." Damian said.

Beca smiled. "Thank you."

Turning in her chair, she looked out at the Manhattan skyline. The views of the highrise buildings never ceased to amaze her. Beca Mitchell-Swanson truly had it all, and at just twenty four years old. So why wasn't she happy?