Chapter 5: Some More Goblin Business

It was a bright morning in Kelgor's small kingdom. Goblins and Terrarians communicate among each other and go about their normal activities. Kelgor continues to expand the kingdom by building more houses.

"You know," begins Holly, "you've been building houses nonstop for quite a while, even after you've been bandaged up. Don't you think it's time for a break?"

"Heh, no."

"You're gonna make the wounds worse. Aren't you in pain right now?"

"Sort of, but I've got priorities."

"Priorities, huh? Well then good luck with the diving suit man," says the goblin sorcerer.

"Oh yeah..! Thanks for reminding me, Arknit," Kelgor says in realization, "I need a stronger sword!" He immediately stops building and begins to head west of the kingdom.

"So now he stops building," says jokingly.

"This won't end well," Arknit declares.

"Huh? How come?"

"Kelgor's heading west. That's where the desert is. There's a rampant scourge there."

"I'm sure he can handle it if he can build 9 houses after getting shot."

"Holly, this isn't construction. This is a giant scourge. Kelgor can't handle that with just a Wulfrum Blade and a Katana."

Kelgor arrives at a small desert with a giant pit leading to a cavern. He instantly spots a Cnidrion and prepares to go for the kill. He's stopped by a familiar hand on his shoulder and a deep voice asking for a deal. He turns around to face an old friend who's the last thing he would've asked to see.

"C'mon, Kelgor. You don't need that weak-ass Redtide Sword." Kelgor simply stood and stared in disappointment at his old friend, Grag. "Here, I've got what you need right here."

Grag shows an Enchanted Sword to Kelgor, whose expression shifts from disappointment to awe. "Grag," Kelgor whispers in amazement, "how the hell did you get this..?"

"Unimportant. But I can give you this awesome sword in exchange for your return."

"That's all?"

"Mhm."

Grag gives the Enchanted Sword to Kelgor before he can even say yes.

"Damn. You really haven't changed, you idiot."

"..!?"

Kelgor suplexes Grag into the desert pit before jumping in with him as he fell. Kelgor looks down on the pissed Grag who laid flat on his back. "You should've known I made myself clear when I said I'm done with you losers. Hell, most of the other goblins already moved into my kingdom. You look pathe-"

Grag swiftly and angrily pulls out a Starfury and slashed at Kelgor, cutting a hole in his shirt. "You think just 'cause you got a crown and a winter cape, you're some smart badass! Shut the hell up!" He begins thrusting and slashing his Starfury at Kelgor who avoids the sword.

"I kinda am, so you can shut the hell u-"

Stars come falling from the sky and land on Kelgor, cutting him. "GAH! WHAT KIND OF SWORD IS THAT!?"

"Also unimportant!"

Grag began swinging his Starfury in the air, causing more stars to fall from the sky and on Kelgor. The unfortunate goblin lay completely flat on the sandy ground.

"TIME OUT!"

Grag stops swinging his sword as Kelgor pulls out and takes a swig of a healing potion. He stands up and prepares to leave.

"You can take this sword back, too! I'm sure it's a damn dud!" As Kelgor admitted defeat, he swung the Enchanted Sword, causing a beam to shoot Grag. Kelgor stares in silence at the sword before smirking and looking at Grag.

Kelgor began swinging his sword at Grag, who got hit with too many beams to swing back. Grag eventually fell on his knees after taking too many beams and then flat on his face. He was out cold.

Kelgor simply stared at Grag with pity before taking his Starfury and going deep into the desert cave. Much to his surprise, most of the treasure was already taken. There were also little to no Cnidrions in the cave for him to kill. He did, however, manage to kill just enough Cnidrions to make full Victide armor for himself.

He continued going deeper in the desert cave to find two surprises: a dried up scourge corpse and a small, blue sea. Kelgor began cautiously staring at the corpse until he was sure there was no need for him to worry about it. When finished, he took a deep breath and dove into the Sunken Sea.

The sea shined a bright blue wherever the goblin went. Much to his continuous surprise, the creatures of the Sunken Sea were passive and didn't try to kill him on sight. "I should build something in this place, one day," Kelgor thought to himself.

He searched around the old sea to find nothing of importance to him besides a few gills and recall potions. He used the gills potions to allow him to breathe underwater as he took some prism shards and navystone. He chugged his recall potion and left in disappointment.

Kelgor instantaneously arrives back at his Kingdom, much to Arknit's surprise. He explained to the sorcerer how he found the dead scourge's body. He then began talking about his encounter with Grag until the two got interrupted by a goblin thief.

"Kelgor! Our ginger ale supply has drastically gone low!"

"What? How the fuck..?"

"A skeleton with a cape downed 3 kegs of ginger ale and left!"

"Wh- How does a skeleton even drink!?"

"I don't know!"

Kelgor shook his head and went about building again. The day went about smoothly and peacefully from there until nightfall hit.

The entire kingdom felt an evil presence watching from above. This presence struck panic to all of the kingdom's people— all except Kelgor, who stood outside his castle, waiting for the evil presence to reveal itself. He wielded his Starfury and Enchanted Sword, ready to vanquish this evil.

The Eye of Cthulhu has awoken. Once he ran away from the kingdom, Kelgor began swinging both of his swords and firing stars and beams at the eye. The eye showed little scratches as it inched closer and closer to the goblin. The eye began molding much smaller eyes to block the incoming projectiles. This did little to stop Kelgor, however, as he kept his distance from the eye and fired his projectiles much faster. The eye received even more scratches from the beams and stars as it attempted to dash into the goblin. It was in a pinch; Kelgor thought the fight would be a quick one.

The Eye of Cthulhu spun vigorously in the air and revealed a gaping mouth with razor-sharp teeth in place of its pupil. This caught Kelgor off-guard, and his shock made him unable to move as the monstrous eye inched much closer. Suddenly, the eye dashed even quicker and more aggressively towards Kelgor and inflicted a big cut on his stomach. The eye kept dashing, and Kelgor almost instantly became too weak to finish it off by his lonesome.

As he began running to the hospital where he hoped to find Holly, he continued firing his stars and beams at the dashing eye, though he did so slowly to avoid hurting himself any further. Though he barely made it with his life, he met up with Arknit and Holly, telling the nurse to put the stitches on quickly while Arknit convinced some goblin archers to shoot the eye.

"Are you crazy," a goblin archer among many in a bar exclaimed, "there's nothin' you can say or do to make us go outside with that.. THING!"

"How about a deal," Arknit began to offer, "3 kegs of ginger ale for your assistance."

Every single goblin archer in the bar danced in celebration, indicating that the deal was accepted. All of the goblins rushed outside and began shooting at the Eye of Cthulhu, doing a decent amount of damage.

"See, I told you to give building a rest," Holly said jokingly, despite the seriousness of the situation. "There.. You should be good to go."

"Thanks, Holly!" Kelgor ran out of the door to witness the sight of the eye dashing and inflicting smaller cuts on a fairly large group of goblin archers. The archers laid down in pain as Arknit ran towards Kelgor.

"C'mon! Stand up! That's not even a serious cut," Kelgor shouted at the group of archers. At least three archers complained and moaned about their wounds, but Kelgor didn't hear it. It wasn't until Arknit made a drinking gesture that the archers stood up and resumed firing their arrows at the monstrous eye.

"Arnkit! Archers! Together!"

All of the goblins began firing shadowflame balls and arrows and stars and enchanted beams at the eye, near-instantly wounding it severely. Arknit and the archers stopped to stare at Kelgor as a green aura began shrouding the swordsman. He leaped toward the eye to land the finishing blow, and he did, as he thrusted his Starfury and Enchanted Sword into the bottom of the eye. The eye let out an ear-piercing roar as it split into bloody parts upon Kelgor's forceful removal of both swords. The Eye of Cthulhu was defeated.

"What a rush.." the victorious goblin whispered to himself. He looked towards his archer buddies and announced a party tomorrow night, sparking celebration and excitement. He then looked towards Arknit with a look of disappointment. "So that's what it takes for us to be competent? Drinks?"

"Oh yeah. I kinda offered them ginger ale in exchange for their assistance."

"What the fuck.. Maybe what I'm doing really is a waste of my time."

"That's for yourself to figure out. I'm gonna find that 'caped skeleton' and hold him at spell-point to give us some more ginger ale."

Kelgor strolls back into his castle with a treasure bag in his hand. He unties it and uncovers a Teardrop Cleaver. "I could use this for discipline.. Nah, I'm not that cruel." He also uncovers some crimtane ore, victory shards, a Shield of Cthulhu, and a Counter Scarf. He puts on the scarf and puts the shield away in a wooden chest on a shelf. He sits on his throne and spots a light blue root on the side of the throne. He also discovers a note attached to the root.

"Well, here you go. I've no use for this so-called 'anger-boosting' plasma root. You can have it, but just know it won't stop me. Don't get any ideas, Kelgor."

The goblin already knew who the note came from without it saying so directly. "Anger-boosting..?" He consumed the plasma root and continued resting. He would have time to think about everything tomorrow.