*Disclaimer I do not own Ouran Host Club.
Back in our world
By Alimackatjac
Chapter 36) Stopping the games.
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Hikaru's POV
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With sweaty fingers, sensually exploring, I slowly press my smirking lips to my new girlfriend's mounded skin. Still almost giddy with the surreal thought of the reluctant, brunet beauty agreeing to be mine ….Well, "ours." For a split-second, a slight feeling begins to sour in my stomach, a feeling I haven't felt since that fated trip to my family's hot spring….When I found out the truth.
That Kao, essentially my other half, could actually deceive me.
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Although it wasn't anything to do with that, Kao and I had hashed things out. Discovering even our seemingly mirrored relationship held secrets, and deep seated resentments, with not only the world around us, but with each other, as well. ….And, as brothers we were both okay with that, arrangements had been made, for at least both sides to move on…
So then, what's this feeling?
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If I was being completely honest, it wasn't Kao's fault, well "most" of it wasn't his fault. I'm the damn idiot who couldn't man up, who wasted so much freaking time! Who turned the damn thing back on? Ahgg! . With the frustrated thought, I felt my hand tense almost into a fist.
I should have just left the damn thing alone…
But still I can't believe he's fucking doing this!
My perspiring body momentarily stiffens with the unsettling feeling. However, my attention is abruptly drawn back with the subtle rise and fall of silken skin, beneath me.
With a mischievous smirk playfully easing my troubled expression, it's no time at all before I've blissfully melt back to my recent explorations…shoving the unnamed feeling away. Methodically devouring her creamy chest while quietly reveling in the stifling darkness around me. Greedily lapping at every inch of her alabaster chest, instigating delicious little moans with every flick of my parched tongue.
Being in absolutely no hurry…Why should I? I'm my own man, the eldest. Hell, a Co-CEO of two major companies? I should never be beckoned, not even when it comes to my twin.
….Especially when it was getting… so damn good.
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Shaking the irritating thought, I continue to teasingly draw countless circles around her peaks with the tip of my tongue, in between devouring kisses. With my now, focused head, growing light I force my overly indulged lips to part from her scorching skin, taking a needed breath. However, remaining close enough, the side of my nose accidently brushes against her sensitive skin as a sultry exhale blows against her harden tips. Triggering her body to playfully shiver beneath me. Seeing her enticed reaction causes an impish chuckle to softly resonate deep from within my chest.
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A delicate hand taps against my sweat dappled shoulder, "Hika?"
Falling back in my adherent need my attentive mouth once more covers her pruned peak, allowing a distracted hum to escape my lips. "Um-ha."
A breathy pout hangs around my distracted head while a finger firmly pushes against my flexed shoulder. "Hika?"
I begin to gradually trail my sweet kisses southward on the brunet beauty's squirming body, only momentarily able to pull my hungry lips away. "Uh, yes, love?"
"Hikaru, I only laid down with you," My suckling mouth firmly wraps around her peak causing a sharp gasp to be blown, from her seduced lips. "Onl-only because you said, you were tired and couldn't sleep." Haru fingers dip underneath the Prussian blue sheets to roughly pull at my messed head, hugging me closer to the objects of my unwavering attention.
Distracted, I only seductively mumble. Placing teasing kisses around her pillow soft skin. "Uh huh, your point, love?"
"What we're doing," My sweet playful actions causes Haru's fingers to slip further, uncontrollably making mussed circles in my ginger hair. Allowing my inflicted pleasure to wash over her. "Um, most people wouldn't consider sleeping, Hika." As she pulls, my profusely manipulating lips closer to her chest.
My contrived innocent looking, golden eyes bounce up, right above the elastic band of her white cotton undies. "Really were not, huh what an… awful shame?" An all too fake reply slips out, between my two mischievous smiling lips. "Are you sure about that, Haru?"
"Hika, stop with your damn games, you know it's not." The Brunet Beauty replies, as she also arches her back, causing my lips to press into her skin.
Not wasting another second, my thumbs loop around her waistband, quickly sliding her panties down her long legs. "Ah, commoners every single one them, I wouldn't believe a word of it." Tossing them aside.
"Hey now, Hika!" Her flat stomach abruptly hallows, with a gasp, as the last bit of clothing is roughly stripped away from our perspiring bodies. Even though I couldn't see her face, I knew her beautiful brown eyes were filled with sarcasm, just by her tone. "I'm pretty sure even commoners are counted as people too, even among "rich bastards."
With a smirk, I scooch down, gently placing her dedicate ankle over my shoulder. "Really, Haru, I'm still not seeing the connection, however since I 'm already down here, let me show what this so called "rich bastard", can do."
"Hikaru, you said you wanted to take a nap, that your seat wasn't comfortable enough!" Haru's large chocolate eyes flash with a sudden irritation, as she swiftly whips the silky sheet from off my mussed head. Suddenly exposing my adjusting eyes to the blinding cabin. Finding myself literally caught speechless, nestled between her bare thighs. "Not to state the obvious, but Hikaru, we've been "awake" She picks up my phone, off the night stand "for almost two hours, now." Gesturing her porcelain like arms over my spikey bedhead. Not "ONCE" have we "actually" tried to fall sleep!"
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Holding a finger under my chin, I teasingly mutter to myself, pretending to be entering deep contemplation. "Hmm Hours you say… my, my how time flies ..." Stalling, I carefully slip her leg off my shoulder. My little maneuver would have to wait for another time, when she's in a more accepting mood. "Well then, I better stop screwing around and get down to business, were running out of time." With a raised knowing eyebrow and a complete disregard to her "obvious" point, I impishly wiggle my hips, nestling them close to her sweet entrance.
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"Hikaru!" She halfheartedly scolds as she playfully swats my shoulder.
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"Yes, my sweet?" Noticing her feigned irritation is more for show, I gently take the offending hand, lifting it close to my face. Being sure my molten eyes gaze over her delicate knuckles, trapping her unblinking eyes. Never allowing her melted chocolates to escape, as I softly press my lips into the top of her hand. "Relax Haru, "eventually" this will help us both get to sleep." One side of my lips quirks into a teasing smirk. Demonstrating just how much pleasure the simple act of kissing my girlfriend's hand instills.
….And with that I blindly fling the silky sheet over "both" our heads.
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Before the billowing sheet touches my sweaty shoulders, I smoothly thrust forward, sliding between her torrid folds. My sinking fists clench, grabbing hold of the rumbled bottom sheet, on either side of her head. Straining to adjust to the overpowering feeling of being thrusted near my precipice of pleasure. "Not that I'll let you." My voice husky, 0nly allowing the utter indulgence to melt into my features.
…as I feel her everything.
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With the abrupt entrance, Haru's head jerks back, her mussed strands fan out against a small mountain of silk covered pillows. A far cry from our makeshift bed. A sharp gasp blows pass her natural glossed lips, "Damn it Hika, you should really , warn a girl."
"And where would the fun be in that, my Love?"
Her delicate fingers sink into my straightened bicep. Almost breathless, she tilts her head forward with a teasing look. "I knew it, you can't be trusted."
"Awe, I'm hurt love." Seeing the effect of my first attempt wearing off, I begin to pull back my hips, gazing down to those chocolate filled pools. "On the contrary, Haru, you're always safe in my arms." With that said, I purposely jerk my hips forward, sliding in deep. Giving her a mere taste of what the coy, Brunet Beauty, actually desired.
Of course, the blasted sheet decides now to slip down my back…not that I gave a fuck, at the moment I'm barely keeping it together. Damn, I wonder if she knows how close she brings me to the edge. That it takes practically everything I have, just to be inside of her twisting skin.
Constantly Forcing back my own teetering urges I gradually, almost teasingly begin to build up, some sort of sporadic rhythm. Her sweat drenched locks sticking to the side of her impassioned face, I could tell I wasn't the only one being driven to our pleasured edge. "Really, Hika, This is what you call being safe?" The brunet beauty tries to play it cool, raising a sarcastic eyebrow, all the while receiving my everything.
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"My version, at least." With my mussed ginger head casting a shadow, I teasingly lean in closer, touching our foreheads, giving me a second to reign in the escalating tingling, that's taking my body prisoner. After a moment of composure, I arch back, while my half lidded eyes drop south. "Come now, Haru, even you can't be THIS oblivious." I quickly thrust my bottom half forward, deliberately making my point, one we could both definitely feel. "WE both know you're smarter than that."
….Unlike myself
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I really shouldn't have plunged in so deep, so soon…I certainly shouldn't be pausing like this, not like some curious adolescent experimenting with their first round of masturbation, and a dirty magazine. I've never had a difficult time with my virility. My sexual prowess is practically legendary, not that I'm proud of it, now. .I should be able to turn her world upside down if called upon….It's just…it's not only she's incredibly sized but everything is impeccable flawless. Tailored made to hurl me towards to an "abrupt" end. Every inch of myself is being twisted by her slick searing insides. Nothing has ever come remotely close ….to this incredibly intense feeling I only get when I'm with her …It's making proceeding …rather difficult.
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As if she knew, with a devious smirk, the Brunet Beauty slowly allows her fingers to wander off my shoulders, sinfully tracing them down the concave of my sweat dappled spine. Surprisingly her hands mold to my sculpted cheeks. Her unblinking chocolate eyes burn over an enticing smirk. And with one surprising motion, she jerks my bottom half closer, taking everything I have to give.
"Well, at least smarter then you, I'll, uh, give you that much." Her words almost tumble out breathlessly. My jaw tenses with the new intimate closeness, however my curious cat like eyes remain locked. Watching her in utter awe, writhing with our connection, in her own self-indulged ecstasy.
The intoxicating site was better than any dream she might have previously starred in. So much so, my caged arms went pathetically weak, and wobbly. Practically unable to keep the rest of my upper half from collapsing on my beloved, making it incredibly difficult to continue .And to make matters worse she knew what she was doing, as a seductive smile slowly turns up, on her naturally colored, strawberry lips.
Like she was almost daring me.
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She wanted to play and I was "somewhat" up for the game. I wouldn't dare call myself a "Hitachiin," if I wasn't. So I lean a little closer, making my mischievous smirk evident while pushing my faltering virility to its extremes. Steadily increasing my momentum, regardless of the escalating tingling. "Says the one… lying beneath me." Battling my own breathlessness.
She presses her hip forward, roughly sliding against mine. "Yes!" Her polished teeth bite down on the corner of her glossed lip. "And enjoying it ….thoroughly I uh, might add."
"Why you little-" Not suspecting those exact words coming out so alluringly from the once oblivious crossdresser, my golden eyes twinkled with eagerness for our little game to proceed. "Well, well, I'd say after that little move …were um, at least …matched." My confident semi coherent words were broken up between mounting thrusts.
"Don't get used to it." In a blink of an eye, I find my perspiring back, suddenly against the rumpled, blue, silk sheet. "I'm a quick study." There sits the woman of my dreams, self-poised over my astonished head, with her two thighs sprawled over my gasping torso. Never once breaking our intimate connection. She lovingly brushes her delicate palm against my cheek, before playfully tussling the top of my head. "Orange top." A devilish smile curls at her lips.
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"Wait, orange top?" I couldn't help but pick my jaw off the ground, shaking my stunned head, clearing it from her obvious assertion of sexual dominance. With that damn smile, she confidently leans back, taking me further in….reveling in the new position. "What's this? ….finally a uh glimmer of the scholarship student… that I uh, fell for, all those years back ?"
Without even dropping her eyes, absorbed with her own pleasure she begins to teasingly rock back and forth. "Maybe." Too wrapped up in her own pleasure, a single breathy word escapes between her ecstasy, filled lips. However, she is instantly taken over with her own sensual manipulations of my engorged skin.
Falling completely under her influence, I watch Haru's neck gracefully arch, her erotic parted lips turning to the ceiling. Her tangled chestnut tresses trail wildly down, occasionally obscuring her aroused peaks.
"How… fucking sexy." Memorized, the words just kind of tumbled out.
After hearing my accidental words her surprised chocolates suddenly pop open. As if she was just reminded, where she was, and who she's currently perched on. With burning cheeks, she so cutely reaches up, awkwardly sliding a strand of hair behind her ear. "You never know, Hika," Her beautiful eyes innocently drop to my chest, avoiding mine. "Perhaps…uh, perhaps, I'm something more, then what we once thought ." Her slim finger awkwardly traces around my perspiring chest.
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Seeing that I clumsily interrupted the impassioned women, hiding herself in the seemingly innocent brunet beauty. Desperately craving to see more, my large palms firmly fold over her curved hips, being sure my thumbs were pressed below her subtle hip bone. "Hey, Haru, let's test out that, something, more." Being sure to catch her eyes, I deliberately lift her up, almost agonizingly slow, giving her my best mischievous look, under a quirked up eyebrow. "Shall we?"
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Her coffee colored jewels, sparkle over her burning cheeks. She pulls her slightly slumping shoulders back, before readily nodding her head .Never once drawing her eyes away from mine. With the curious nod, I slowly push her hips down, while arching my body. Deliberately hitting deep in a new untouched area. Feeling Haru's body instantly go rigid beneath my slippery fingers. Peeking through her sweat dappled strands, I can see her eyes squeeze tight over her pleasure gaping lips. I found myself suddenly lost, immersed in the impassioned sight of a highly aroused moan slowly unfurling from those glossed lips and into the hot sticky air.
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A small amused chuckle slips out, knowing I lured the pleasure focused being out of hiding. "And with that… ends our little game ..I'm afraid I win ."
My molten eyes entranced by the inflamed Brunette goddess impassionedly perched on my piercing member, reeling from my unscrupulous stokes. With every torturous lingered stroke, I relentlessly increase my manipulations with a firm guiding hand clenched to her hips, despite my own rapidly approaching end. "Oh damn…. Ahgg!" Haru answers breathlessly, "and just when I was winning, too." With the relentless pace Haru, lashes out with perspiring hands, spreading them across my searing chest.
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With every shameless thrush, the intense tingling feeling surges me closer to my imminent end. Arching my sweat soaked body, roughly meshing into her twisting apex. "Aggghh! Yes!" Growling out, through gritted teeth.
"Ah Hika!" Haru's body stiffens with one last deep plunge, followed by her searing hot end flushing over my strangled member. Exhausted, she crashes against my heaving dappled chest.
Her twisting climax quickly slashes through my last strings of faltering restraint, my unbridled voice echoing from the ceiling, "Fuck! Fuck, yes, Haru!" As my fogged head, repeatedly crashes against the disheveled sheet, my arms snake around the quivering brunet beauty, desperately pressing into her alabaster back. Holding her close, while every fatigued muscle goes completely limp, and spent.
My tired amber eyes vaguely notice the silken pillows tossed in all directions, before sliding them closed for a few silent minutes. Hearing only the sounds of our heaving breaths lingering in the stifling cabin. Sprawled out against the rumpled sheet, blissfully recovering, not giving a damn about the remainder of top sheet, strangling my bare calf. "Fuck, Haru, I'm never letting you go." A half exhausted chuckle escapes my lips, "you, DO realize that, right?"
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She hums out a sleepy approval, her damp strands swept over her face, buried in my raising chest. A feeling of complete contentment suddenly washes over me. Being in each other's arms finally felt like I belonged, like I was home. The comforting thought causes a wide satisfied smile to permanently adhere to my face. Bending forward, my grinning lips press against the top of her head, whispering into her chestnut strands. "You're mine."
Although, As soon as I said it, my insides tightened.
"Knock. Knock." Her round chocolate eyes leap to mine, giving them a hard knowing glare.
Holding in an amused chuckle, I quickly kiss her scowling forehead before clearing my throat. "Yes?" Speaking in my usual, deep authoritative voice.
"Hitachiin-sama, sir? Please, excuse the interruption." For some reason the polite voice seemed cold.
With feigned innocents, my teasing smile only widens. "See, I told you, we were running out of time." Carrying my joke further, my lips accidently brush against Haru's blushing ear. "However, you my Love, couldn't wait till we made our way to the hotel, ravaging me this entire time." Blowing out a heavy sigh, while teasingly shaking my head." Oh dear, whatever shall I do with such a naughty girlfriend?"
Her eyes grew in outrage, her heated words hissing. "Why you… Hikaru, Hitachiin?! You're the one who wanted to-" Adamantly pointing to the door.
Biting back my own amusement, I place a finger to her strawberry lips. "Hush now." At that moment I'm pretty sure her own modesty was the only thing stopping her from tossing me out the door. "Yes?" My eyes never once leave the steaming brunet, while answering in my own business like tone.
"Sir, the pilot wanted me to inform you we have entered Paris air space, and will be landing in the next 30 minutes." My jaw tensing with the flight attendants every passing word.
I pushed away my tightening stomach, completely ignoring the flight attendant as my voice lowers. "Unless, you want to go somewhere else?" Raising a rather impish eyebrow, making a genuine offer. I was completely serious, I literally wanted to be ANYWHERE else, but here. And my troubled insides were proof of that.
I don't have anything against the shining city. After all, it is the fashion capital of the world. It's practically the Hitachiins, second home. There was just, so much I wanted Haru to experience, frankly, it was hers for the taking. She didn't even have to ask, just merely mention, and we'd be gone. It was literally that simple.
I've noticed Haru slowly growing accustom to travel. Although, besides Portland and few weeks in Europe she hasn't really traveled. She hasn't even scratched the surface. And with me, basically grounded to Japan, except for short hops, by order of my family. I was just itching to revisit everything, all the while introducing Haru to my "real" world….she really has no idea.
That damn pink school was a mere drop compared to the ocean I've seen.
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Her anger melted in an odd look. "How can you even suggest-"Seeing I wasn't budging she trailed off, tensing her jaw. "I mean," Clearing her throat, "No thank you, Hika, perhaps another time?"
Slowly leaning in forward, my molten eyes drop to her scowling strawberry lips. "Haru, we can literally go anywhere." My tongue slips across my needy bottom lip, as my eyes crawl up her face. "There's Bali, Fiji, Madrid? Oh and Italy." Softly speaking, watching her anger just melt away under my seduction. Luring her to the limitless possibilities.
"Italy?" Our lips softly mesh, "Nice try Hika, Koa's already taken me there-" She mutters after the kiss.
"Please, a week at most, you haven't even dipped a toe." My heart suddenly started to intensely pound in my chest, with the mere thought. "Love, there's a little shop, I need to take you to, I mean I wasn't really thinking clearly I was just sort of aimlessly wondering … but I think I can find my way there again." The small hurtle melts away, as I take her lips once more.
"It's the perfect beginning."
"Oh yay, another shopping trip, I can hardly wait." Her eyes slide to our bodies, causing a rosy blush to burn on her cheeks. "I don't know if you've noticed …but Hika were sort of naked, that not really a beginning kind of thing ." She kisses back.
"Trust me Haru, that fact has NEVER left my mind… I can't believe I'm saying this ….but the shopping can wait, give me minute to catch my breath, and I'll show you,…."exactly" whom I belong to." Rolling us over in the sprawled out rumpled silk sheets, ready to revel in my planned distraction. "We'll have plenty of time, while crossing the pond?" Teasingly pressing my lips to her pulsed skin, seductively pulling at it. "I'd be happy to be you're entertainment for the long flight." With my hand deliberately sliding across her flawless alabaster arms, finding her palms.
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"Easy does it, fly boy." Her fingers avoid mine, pushing against my chest. "I think you've had enough." She gently, but firmly pushes me off.
However, I mischievously lean forward, lifting her chin, bringing her lips to mind. "I can honestly say, THAT, my love, will never be the case."
Just before our lips meet once more, her large chocolate eyes skim off my bare shoulder, to the locked door. "Hika, we can't do this, we're being rude." She motions her head towards the closed door.
Haru narrows her eyes. "Really, now?" My mischievous eyes knowingly drop down to our shared nakedness, our tightly pressed forms keeping us from being completely exposed. Realizing my generous offer was being flatly tossed aside, my cheeks bulge with a heavy reluctant sigh. "Fine." I begrudgingly clear my throat, raising my voice to the door." "Very good, inform the pilot, that's fine." Turning my eyes away from the door, I begin to grumble, loudly, showing the Brunet Beauty my irritation. "It's not ideal, but it's what the lady wants so it's… "mildly" tolerable."
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"Pardon, sir? Is there some kind of problem I can assist you with?" My befuddled employee questions.
"See, this only confuses them, doing the right thing… this isn't me, they're not use it." Begrudgingly pulling my arm from the slight slope at the end of her bare back, sharply motioning to the door. Still somewhat irritated for not getting my way. "Never mind …. Just carry on." My voice turns stern.
Haru's eyes grow sharp, with a raised expectant eyebrow. ""Hika, she doing her job, you can at least be polite." She lightly slaps my shoulder.
"Fine, but you're only confusing them further." Rolling my eyes I once more speak towards the door "Uh "please"…. carry on." Making a strained effort.
At first there was dead silence at the door, I'm pretty sure she wasn't entirely certain how to respond, to my new found politeness. For the most part, employees fell in two categories, I either pay them no mind, or give them all my attention for some sort of carnal moment. Of course, in the end it doesn't really matter, I never really bothered to even remember a name, in either case…And at the moment, I wasn't entirely sure which side this one fell on. Seeing my well intentioned family would often switch them out for one reason or another.
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"Um Yes! Yes of course, sir, right away." Her professional demure stumbled.
"See, that wasn't so hard, now was it?" With a wide triumph smile, she skootches out from under me, jerking the sheet with her.
Suddenly finding myself flipped over, facing the ceiling, "alone," completely naked, and sprawled across the bed. I quickly flip to my side, catching the Brunet Beauty walking away from our shared bed. "Hey, and where do you think you're going?" However, I wasn't expecting my breath to be literally stolen or for that matter be inspired.
My unblinking eyes followed the Persian blue sheet slowly lingering behind the Brunet Beauty. The unlikely material was slightly tucked in the front, loosely cascading down her body, like some tranquil stream feeding into another. Her back however was definitely the crowd-pleaser, the silk barely obscuring that little curve right before her bottom. The idea was simple, much like the woman in question…however it also showed a glimpse of that ravenous creature I unleashed, earlier…The one I desperately wanted more of.
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"I'm taking advantage of your rich bastard's life style, I thought I actually saw something of a bathroom?" Her words quickly bring me back, causing me to shake my head.
With a heavy sigh of defeat, I begrudgingly roll over, snatching a pillow from the floor. In a show of irritation, I roughly stuff the pillow underneath my pouting face. "Fine, there should be a little something hanging up for you…. I figured you would need it."
"You mean when your devious plan succeeded, don't you?" She bluntly adds, tightening her arms around the sheet.
"Something like that." Bringing a mischievous smile, over my laced fingers. "But hey, just so you know, it's not just "MY," lifestyle, anymore. You do realize that, right?" Unlacing my hands, pointing my tented fingers in her direction. "You've sort of joined the club, permanently …. so to speak."
Her lips fell and awkwardly tightened, it only took a second to realize what so stupidly rolled from my mouth. I couldn't help but wince, while desperately wishing I could take it back. "Oh uh yeah, I guess your right … Anyway, I'll be quick." She forced a smile, pointing to the bathroom. "So you can um, freshen up, too."
Pissed with myself I untucked my hand from under the pillow. Reaching out to the now, closed door. "Haru, I'm uh," Finding it difficult to utter the words my amber eyes cast down to the floor, bitterly chewing my lip.
"Yes, Hika?" She calls from behind the door,
"Damn it, Haru, I'm sorry! Alright?" The words that rarely leave my mouth, even when regarding my twin, clumsily burst from my lips. "I'm so, unbelievably sorry." Racked with guilt my shaky hand riffles through my mussed bedhead, "Well for fuck sakes, you know my blithering mouth, it sort of has a mind of its own…At least that's what Kao says. I don't know, it just sort of ….came out. I wasn't meaning the damn club." With a heavy sign, my eyes fell hopelessly from the door, "Please Love, don't shut me out." My voice grew quite, tightly squeezing my overstuffed pillow, "Not again."
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"It's okay Hika, I know you didn't….Let's uh, just hurry, and catch up with Kao. Knowing him, he's probably waiting." Her mood quickly picked up with the mere mention of my younger brother.
"Oh right, the meeting." Under my pillow, my hand clenched. "I been trying to forget." Grumbling to myself.
"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that?" Haru calls out from behind the bathroom door.
"Oh, it's nothing of any consequence, I'll uh, tell you later. " My shaking head drops in my pillow…I was so frustrated I wanted to scream in to it. How could you, be such an utter dumb ass?! Being responsible, did you absolute no freaking good … Hell, it even cost you your alone time with Haru…
Damn me, for calling !
Damn my brother for making me do this!
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After a long mental moment, I let out a heavy sigh. Heating the silky fabric with my breath, before forcing my head from its depths. "Listen Haru, about that." Anxiously biting my lip, attempting to keep an upbeat tone. "You sure you wouldn't want to stroll around the city? Take in the sights, maybe do a little shopping? I mean it wouldn't be unheard of, after all, we are landing in Paris. Lord, knows you could add to your existing wardrobe?"
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"Shopping, really Hika?" She bluntly questioned
"Of course not, when did that "ever" work?" I grumbled to myself. Laying on my stomach, sprawled across the bed with nothing but an overstuffed pillow shoved under my arms. Feeling the chilled air along my exposed backside. Once more, I raise my voice to the closed door, this time channeling my inner Kao, in some kind of attempt to soften the impending blow. Starting with a forced awkward chuckle. "Okay, Haru, so no shopping, well then how about museums? I think there's actually a rather famous one, close by."
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"Nice try, Hika."
My fist slammed against the empty mattress. Fuck this, why I'm being stuck with all the dirty work? Leaving the diversions, not to mention the worthless suggestions behind I straighten my shoulders. My anxious eyes slide to the closed door. "Haru, you can't go, end of story. Kao, may have given us the all clear, but let's not go crazy."
"Says, the wild twin." Haru dryly adds from behind the door. "You still haven't explained what happened."
My apologetic eyes burning towards the closed door. "Uh yeah, speaking of… Hey, you know if it was up to me, we'd still be in front of the fireplace… just the two of us, "wildly" exploring each other's thresholds?" Completely avoiding her question… not because I was keeping anything from her…but that Koa refused to say anything over the phone.
"Hika, if it was up to you, you probably would have bought it." She lets out a sigh, from behind the door. "You did the right thing."
"Those bastards just forgot about us!" With my tense jaw propped up in my curled hand, I couldn't help but huff.
"Hika they did not, they just had their hands full, taking care of the neighboring village. From what the worker said, it was going to be at least a month fixing the distribution center for the remote areas…and since it was off season, and the area we were staying at were mostly populated with vacation rentals, the actual village, where people actually live and work, every day, took precedence…. I mean, you did find another place fairly quickly."
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"Fat lot a good it did," Shaking my head to myself, "our little hide away ….I wish I hadn't even made that call, Kao would've eventually found out we moved locations." My stomach twisted
"But you did, it was the right thing to do… Hika, sooner or later everybody goes back to work, even you guys." Haru quickly steps from the bathroom, leaning against the door, crossing her feet. Dressed in a pair of distressed black knee high boots, with laces and buckles on the backs, a red rose scorched in the leather, on the side. Paired with simple black leggings, and strawberry, black plaid mini, and a black slouch, yet form fitting sweater. "Really Hika?" Stiffly motioning to the outfit. "You're as bad as my father, dressing me in this girly stuff."
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"Hey n…now," Trying to push the image of the crazed crossdresser pointing a loaded revolver to my bruised head. "To be fair there's only a hint of pink. If you want something better suited to your bland pallet, you're more than free to choose for yourself….perhaps you'd like to go, when we land?"
"Shopping, me? I'd rather be dragged to one of your parties ….better food. No, this is somewhat tolerable. "
"Well, leaving my jet parked, has the same effect." I can't help but grumble .
"Alright, alright all yours." She holds up her hands before motioning to the door. "Better hurry, we don't want to keep Koa waiting…I uh know things seemed stained between myself and Kaoru , but this could give us a chance, to really work things out, you know?"
My amber eyes sweep down to see I had been thoughtlessly biting my thumb, before quickly pulling it away, with an awkward smile.
It was time to do the unthinkable…
Break Haru's heart, and I guess I'm twin set up to do it…
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"Yeah, about that …"Reaching up I awkwardly scratch the back of my head, until my remorseful eyes fall back, avoiding the brunet beauty,
Only glancing in her direction I catch her hopeful face suddenly melting in concern, "Hika?"
Peeking up with remorseful eyes, "I'm sorry love, Koa only asked for me."
"Wait what?" Confused she's almost physically blown back into the door.
Standing there helplessly, my obscured fists tightens at my sides, As I watch, trying to make sense of my words. Damn it, Kao I love you man, but sometimes ….Fuck, fuck, fuck you brother!
"He doesn't want to see me?"
Straightening my shoulders, I coldly sniff. "Sorry Love, Kaoru, specifically said, he didn't want you there…. He's just too busy, with the show, for you to stay at the hotel, that's all. "
Her eyes slowly trail to her boots, her voice disappointed. "Are you sure?" Her voice grows quite, never raising her head. "Are you sure, that's what it is? I mean I know he's been avoiding talking to me, but I thought when he called, there was at least a chance. "
Unable to hold back I pull her in my chest, hissing into her shoulder. "I don't know, knowing Kao, well you know him, fuck he practically wears a mask….He won't even tell me what the hell is going on."
Standing in my silky boxers, I squeeze my arms tightly, reaffirming my cruel words. "Sorry love, you can't come, it's strictly "twin" business."
Hearing nothing but deafening silence, I begrudgingly pull away from our shared moment, lifting her chin, to catch her glossy eyes. "Twin business, huh? You know Hika, that didn't entirely work last time." Haru shifts her eyes, avoiding my gaze.
"Look, give me a few hours to find out what the hell is going on with him, I promise Haru, I'll come find you, when I'm done."
Her warm brown eyes flash with harden determination, jerking her chin away from my hand. "Sorry, Hika, I know you mean well, but I need to hear that from Kaoru, himself … You can't stop me, from going."
"Oh." taking a step back, while raising an eyebrow. "Easy love, being a "rich bustard, as you so bluntly put it, has afforded me options, many in fact. To take care of this particular situation, I find myself in."
Her head sharply bounces from the sudden distance between us, and my mischievous, yet determined face, "What are you going to do, drug me?"
"Really, who even does that? I suppose next you'll tell me while your drugged, I'll sweep you off to some unknown Island, my family owns, somewhere?!" Shaking my head, "What have you been reading lately?"
"Well….maybe, you never know, with you two."
"It doesn't have to be anything elaborate all I need is this." And with that, holding her gaze I reached over her shoulder, and pushed a single button, on the wall behind her, before clearing my throat. "Yes, I was just checking on that additional car….Is it ready to escort Ms. Fujioka, to the family residence?" The corner of my mouth pulls in a playful smirk, giving Haru a knowing look. "She's rather exhausted from the uh…. flight."
.
"Of course, sir, both cars are waiting at the Hitachiin family hanger." The woman's voice sounds tense making it clear which side she falls… yep, I've slept with her. All this while making a mental note to have the woman transferred to my brother's plane.
"You planned this, all along …Damn you Hika, that's dirty! You knew how I felt!"
Damn you brother. I inwardly seethe as the love of my life eyes flare with a pained disappointment.
I can't help but huff, "Listen, love, I have no idea, what I'm walking into." Even though she pushes away, I defiantly pull her trembling, angry body, closer. "Haru, let me tell you a little something," I practically hiss. "THIS, rich bastard knows "he's" being selfish. OK, unlike SOME people, I'm not completely oblivious to that fact." Although this deception nearly kills me, I continue on for my freaking brother's sake.
"What are you going on about?" She painfully shrugs against my hands.
A heavy horrendous feeling echoes in my weakened chest, as the pained truth seeps out from my feigned deception. "Haru …. I almost lost you...again. Because of those freaking maniacs running you and Kao off the fucking road!" once more feeling the agonizing remnants my outward demeanor begins to echo my insides. " Haru, I know outside to everyone else I was a determined fighter , refusing to give up the search although that was just a carefully contrived façade, I just thoughtlessly reacted …mindlessly searching the streets like some damn zombie, wondering if you were even alive …Haru, I never want to go through that, again." My pitiful declaration quietly lingers in the room.
.
"Aww Hika, don't do this-" She steps forward, lifting my chin."
"No Haru." Pulling my chin away, firmly setting some distance between us, "Because of my birthright …I don't have to…. I'll do whatever I need to, to keep you safe." With my shoulders held back, I purposely walk pass her, and enter the bathroom." Even if it means at times, you being pissed with me. Unlike Kao, I won't apologize for it, either. " Making my point before, closing the door.
However once the door "clicks," shut, the back of my mussed head quietly crashes back into the door. Once more, finding myself alone, standing in the middle of my brightly lit water closet, struggling with my own long held fears.
Silent unyielding tears begin to roll from my reddened eyes, as my comforting words fight against my tightened lips. Inwardly struggling against my inherent NEED to be close to my once lost Brunet Beauty. Keeping my sacrifice in check, my shaky fingers squeeze around the cold metal doorknob, as I stand there sobbing, barely restraining myself, for my fucken twin's sake.
Even though my argument, was forced, for the benefit of my "troubled" twin, the pained words I had spoken…. were 100 % pure.
.
End of Hikaru's POV
.
.
Kaoru's POV.
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Tipping the crystal tumbler back, I can't help but anxiously skirt my golden eyes over the delicate cut edge of my drink, intently gazing at my phone. While unconsciously allowing the smooth liquid to slip past my lips. Finding myself held captive by the harsh digital numbers endlessly scrolling, minute by minute. Mentally becoming lost in the encompassing silence suffocating the posh, well thought out room.
.
Until a normally unobtrusive text alert, releases me from its seemingly inescapable hold. With a quick moment of realization, my bagged golden eyes come into a hard focus. No longer staring at the everyday, mundane surface, but reflecting into sickened eyes. With a recurring putrid feeling developing in my twisting stomach, I abruptly slide them away.
.
A long drawn out sigh is only followed by the normally comforting sound of my honey colored beverage. With my tired eyes burning at the untouched keys I blindly set my partially filled glass down, right next to a freshly opened, white labeled bottle of scotch. A bright red bow haphazardly still tied to its short curvy neck.
Chunks of ice swimming in my preferred golden liquid, carelessly slosh around, clinking against the side of my glass. A small curl on my lips momentary relieves my sober expression, just thinking how the freaking blond would blow his mind at my blant disregard for my flawlessly honed upbringing. Daring to hold myself at a commoner level as I set a glass down without using my damn fingers, as a buffer.
.
Feeling the warm, afternoon sun kiss my shoulder causes a shadow to loom over my forgotten laptop. My tired eyes sadly fall to the golden number one, followed by two zeros," reflecting in the bar's glossy surface, and peeking out from under my occupied hand.
Realizing, I just mindlessly sloshed back the rare aged drink, like it was nothing. Not even stopping in a brief clarifying moment to savor the carefully cultivated "oaky" flavor of the exceptional liquid. With a heavy sigh, I catch the silent count down, on my phone. Mentally scolding myself as I hold out a palm, begrudgingly pushing my favored drink to the side.
Unable to even find some kind of momentary solace in Kasanoda's extremely generous apology gift. Which I surprisingly found slightly unsettling this morning, along with a pristine suite. No doubt, any signs of the cross-dressing father, the ginger mob boss, and his confused, bartending hit men had been skillfully wiped away, with the help from the mob, bosses' cleaning team. I had to admit the very notion, of me restlessly tossing and turning as Kasanoda's "workers," who basically cleaned up, after well-funded murderers, was skillfully toiling, right outside my bedroom door.
.
The entire ordeal was more than a little creepy.
.
Of course, the relentless struggle to obtain even a shallow slumber wasn't anything new. In fact it's like most nights, my crimson, sleep deprived eyes suddenly flash open in the wee hours of the night. Finding myself sitting in a chilled pool of my own sweat, after witnessing the same eyes…. The same haunting, distraught eyes that inundate my nights. No matter how exhausted I make myself during work, they're always there …
...waiting for me.
IT's not long after I wake up from this haunting reality, I catch myself staring at the countless digital numbers rolling by, on my night stand.
….It seems that's all I find myself doing these days.
My heavily sleep deprived eyes slowly skim right over my glaring screen, peering across the room to the "forsaken," newly replaced door. With a huff, I vainly attempt to distract myself with some unfinished business. Although thanks to my well intentioned twin, my assistant, who's back in Japan. Has wiped my inbox clean, of all pending conversations, as she's decided to "rain check," her planned vacation. I have no doubt it's due to Hika's rather notable "blunt," negotiating skills.
.
Trying desperately to pass the time, I begrudgingly click on a certain dreaded folder, from my desktop….the only thing left seeking my attention. With my propped up scowling face cradled in my curled over fingers, I find the perplexing Hitachiin spreadsheets and expense logarithms, even more puzzling than their "usual" difficulty. The damn folder almost instantly earns a bored, frustrated huff, exhaling a heated breath through my short ginger bangs.
.
However, it's not too long into my self-imposed sentence a distinct sound of my suite's door suddenly comes to my rescue. The opening and closing caused a nervous smirk to tug at my lips. Clearing my throat, I quickly straighten my back, abruptly closing my laptop, being sure to conceal my troubles from the "only" person it would matter to.
At least that's what I'm hoping...
.
Petrified to see if …he uh, "actually" listened, for once. My unwavering golden eyes burn a fictitious hole through my closed laptop, as I'm terrified to simply lift my head, and face the outcome. Pathetically staying frozen at the bar for a significant moment before forcing a long, calming breath. Obscured from the bar my moist palms hastily rub over the tailored grey fabric of my suit pants. With my emotional mask firmly affixed I rush from the bar abruptly throwing my arms around those familiar, yet tense shoulders, affectionately slapping "his" warm broad back.
.
"Hika, I missed you brother, it's so good to have you back." His long fingers spread along the curve of my back. Feeling those comforting, familiar arms went a long away in temporary soothing my worries. With closely pressed chests, we stood there silently drinking up each other's individual presence, our breathing slowly syncing with each other.
It felt like a part of me had returned with my older brother's arrival.
Although his firm, yet familiar hold is the only evidence he's actually in the room as I refuse to lift my head. Knowing everything could abruptly change, as quickly as someone snapping their fingers.
..Once I pull away.
Squeezing me back, slightly pausing before returning the affectionate slap. "Yeah, I uh, missed you too, Kao." Only after a precious few minutes, I begin to feel Hika, pulling away.
Paying no heed to the growing awkwardness, I refuse to let go. "Wait, Hika." My hands yank him back into my chest, temporarily smothering the developing chill between us.
I can feel Hika's muscled shoulders tense, under my fingers. "Kao…. what the hell is with all this cloak and dagger bullshit?! Why the fuck couldn't you just tell me over the damn phone?" Begrudgingly staying in my arms, he hisses into my shoulder.
Ignoring my twin's curt questions, I continue to squeeze him tighter, refusing to let go. Momentarily surrendering my self-imposed battles, allowing my pained arms some much desired relief. "Just give me minute, Hika….I really just needed a hug from you."
With my painfully honest words, Hika's stiff body melts into mine. "Aww, little brother is…is this the reason you called me back?" He lightly chuckled, as I could feel a relieved smile grow next to my ear. "Next time …just tell me…I will "always" find my way back to you. "
With a sad content sigh, I softly mumble in my twin's ear. "I know Hika." Savoring my twin's embrace, knowing this precious feeling would soon be literally ripped from my needy arms.
As I can feel Hika's strong hands freeze at my back.
"Wait, I don't understand, if this is all you needed, then why didn't you allow-"I could feel my twin once more begin to pull away.
"Trust me brother, I wish it was that simple." Cutting off Hika's sudden realization, my hands desperately hold firm, into the dissipating hug.
"Then why?" His confused words turn sharp.
"Just a little longer?" My fingers sink into my twin's broad back, feeling the heavy wool of his dark jacket. "Please Hika, just another minute?"
Letting out a huff, Hika begrudgingly squeezes back. "Fine, but afterward, you better damn well start some major explaining, little brother … Starting with, why in the hell you can't deal with Haru, and why you thought in your "ultimate freaking wisdom" to drag "yours truly," in the middle of it?" He angrily hisses but doesn't try and pull away.
"I know, Hika." Caring nothing if I'm caught, I take full advantage of the situation, burying my nose close to my twin's scrumptious neck. ….As it's been entirely too long …
Besides, after today there's no telling how long I'll be required to savor it
.
Loosing myself in delectable swaths of cardan and spicy cinnamon, with a touch of sweet luscious pear in the base notes. Just the slightest whiff of Hikaru's signature scent caused my head to be swept up in some kind of impassioned fantasy. Trying to regain somewhat of a modicum of my natural decorum, I desperately shake the intoxication from my seduced head. Only to notice my lack of balance with my hand around Hika's iron like bicep. "Hey watch yourself Kao! Are you alright?" Caught in my brother's hands, with my face smooched against his well-developed chest. Finding just the slightest swirl of the addicting aroma could practically bring me to my shaky knees.
.
"Uh yeah, just a little taken back, that's all." Still refusing to face my impending fate, I awkwardly straighten up, but never leave my brother's arms.
Just by his deep throated chuckle, I could tell my brother knew what actually happened. "Whatever you perv."
"Yeah, it must be a great ego booster, knowing you always cause that." Speaking in a sarcastic tone, with my warm cheek blissfully pressed in his shoulder.
Hika grumbles. "You know Kao, you're not fooling anyone with this busy crap, either."
"I know Hika." Brushing my cheek along his smooth wool suit jacket, doing my best to keep myself from succumbing under Hika's deliciously wicked juice's influence. "There's no fooling you." Forcing a chuckle of my own as my twin's usual sputtering deeply echoes in my heart, almost bringing me to tears. ….
Except I don't deserve to cry.
"Damn right," Feeling his sharp nod against the top of my shoulder. "I uh, know all too well, little brother, you would drop everything ….for her." Hika's voice awkwardly stumbles, "We uh, both would." Letting out a heavy sigh.
"Hika?" My torso turns cold, as I abruptly feel my twin's fingers slide off my back.
"Yeah?" Hika sniffles while stepping away.
Forced to stand alone I notice a chilled air blow against my empty arms. Feeling the unavoidable absence causes my hallowed stomach, to violently twist as I stare down at my Italian wingtips. Knowing I had to face the inevitable, although I was pretty sure, he at least begrudgingly followed my rather vauge request. Forcing my dry throat, swallowing hard before slowly, deliberately lifting my shaky, fear laden eyes from my bare ankles. "So ….you didn't bring …her?"
.
Confirming I had escaped, well at least for the moment.
.
"What, of course I didn't! You asked me not to….Well I mean, I "was" tempted, but I refrained. Despite of what you may think, I can do what's asked of me… Occasionally. "" He arrogantly tugs on his sleeves, pulling his shoulders back.
Cocking a knowing eyebrow, giving him an obvious sarcastic look. "Occasionally, Huh?"
"What, care to say something, little brother?" Hika's voice turns sharp, throwing his hands out.
My troubled stomach dropped, to my grey leather shoes with the mere thought of what's to come. Only noticing my emotional twin rubbing his face, standing alone in the middle of my suite. Dressed in a pair of worn black jeans with an "almost" too tight fit, for his toned body. A form fitting, modern grey and black, double breasted, wool suit jacket. Half zipped in a somewhat angular position, across his perfectly honed chest, with Hika's usual signature light blue tailored shirt peeking out from under the jacket. "Nothing ….it's uh, just good to have you back, dear brother." Shrugging my shoulders, my eyes once more anxiously slide away from my twin. "That's all."
.
With the afternoon sun beaming through the large patio doors, I notice two rather identical shadows stretch along the vast, impeccable floor. However, at the moment the omnis outlines were growing, further, and further apart….reflecting the strained meeting.
Hika lifts his hand, running it through his hair. "Kao, I love you man, but at times, you can be so down right cryptic." Hika's masculine hand falls, almost like he's given up.
Unable to tear my eyes away from the separating shadows, I chuckle to myself. "And like most things between us, you're the exact opposite."
Hika chuckles, while nodding his head. "Alright, fair enough." However, the amusement doesn't last between us, as I notice him anxiously chewing on his bottom lip. My hidden fists at my side tense, noticing Hika's first visual sign of frustration, with me. "So Kao, are you really going to make me ask, again?" His jovial tone turns serious. "What's this all about? Why can't you be in the same room with her?"
"What uh, makes you think that? I uh just needed to talk to you privately, that's all. "Avoiding my big brother's expression, my remorseful eyes slide to the floor.
"That's bullshit, and you know it."
"I uh, can't say…I should really talk to Haru, first." All the while shrugging my shoulders, with my hands in my pockets.
"That's the first brilliant thing you've said, in a while." Hika grumbles.
Hearing my twin's usual behavior sharply turns my mood, "Yeah, I know …Only, I'm just not ready." With the depressing thought of what I must do, my rather abrupt argumentative tone quickly plummets, almost developing in a solemn whisper. "I'm not even sure how to approach the subject, with her." Horrible memories abruptly flood my guilt laden head, leaving me feeling hollow, and empty, much like my shadow stretching away from my grey shoes. "Monster, I was nothing short of being a monster."
"Monster, was it really that bad, Koa? I can't even imagine that, especially coming from you."
I couldn't even look at my older brother, after revealing the truth, the way I did. So I just let my silence speak for itself.
Hika lets out a long sigh, his voice serious. "I see… well, against my better judgment you should go see her." Hearing determined footsteps echo in the bright hotel room, before a comforting hand finds my shoulder. "Kaoru?"
My sad amber eyes slide over my shoulder, before cautiously lifting my head. "Hika?" I could tell my frustrated twin was making a considerable effort, as his jaw remained tense.
"Listen Koa, I've spent weeks with Haru, this is really upsetting her. And that crap we just pulled, made it worse. She doesn't deserve any of this bullshit, and you know that." He pulls his hand off my shoulder, pointing a sharp finger at my face.
Knowing that's it's the least I deserve, I don't even push his accusing finger away…and just endure it. "Yeah, I know, Hika." Nodding my head, with solid gold guilt, weighting on my shoulders.
"Then go fucking talk to her!" Frustrated, Hika's jaw tenses, but drops his accusing finger. "Kao, this is what she wants, it's a no brainer, man."
Unable to man up to my twin's ultimate expectation, my amber eyes slide in some other direction, as I begin to turn away from my older brother. "Hika… if you only had seen her reaction…you'd know why it's not that simple."
The next thing I know a hand lands on my shoulder, jerking me back around. Hika's infuriating eyes burning through my skull. "Fuck Kaoru, It's those damn guilty pleasures, isn't it?" Roughly poking my forehead, "Those fucking images messed with your head!"
Only giving my fuming twin the slightest nod.
"Damn it, Kao !" He seethed, while sharply shaking his head.
"Hika, stop!"
"Fuck, I tried to warn you, little brother." Poking my chest, "But no, you wouldn't have any of it! And now the woman "I" love-"
Before I can think, my hand lashes out, roughly knocking my twin's hand away from my chest, replacing it with my own, and adamantly pointing at his. "Hey, watch it dear brother, just because I fucked up, doesn't mean I don't abundantly, IRREVOCABLY, LOVE Haru, myself!" A fury of unbridled emotion is lethally released in my twin's furious face. "Hikaru, I've already told you, the days of me stepping back, are in the past."
"And nobody is asking you to." Hika holds out his arms, his powerful voice echoes in the empty room. "Damn it, Kaoru, I know we've made a fucking agreement, you don't have to remind me."
"Then why the stumble, why bring it up, now?"
Hika shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know, because maybe I wanted to, I can't really say, it just sort of came out…Although," Hika lifts his hand to his face, rubbing his stubbled chin. "You really can't blame me…I mean you really can't deny you're hurting the woman we love, with your fucking delusions…maybe, I don't know…maybe it's time you think hard about what's best for Her? "
"What?"
Hika throws up his hands, "Hey, it's just a suggestion."
"Really, Hika, are you serious?" I couldn't help but chuckle to myself, after hearing my older, but not exactly "wiser" brother's advice.
"What's so damn funny, Kao?" Hika grumbles while crossing his arms across his chest.
"Nothing I'm just a little confused, it seems you can't quite make up your mind. First you want me to talk her, then you spout off vailed threats."
"It was "advice", nothing more."
"I know you Hika, if I had to guess I would say the latter, is the one you would prefer."
"Maybe, I'm not really allowed to say what I really think."
"Haru?"
"I can't say."
"Well, no offense Hika, it's hard to get romantic advice from your twin, whose notorious for gallivanting all over Japan, acting like a complete man whore."
"A man whore, what the?! Tsk, I was just giving you a little friendly advice, just like you always seem to be doling out, to me. With both of his hand, Hika reaches over and pats himself on the chest.
"Well." I raise a knowing eyebrow.
"Okay, fine!" Hika stubbornly grumbles, "Fair enough."
"I can't believe you, Hika! You of all people shouldn't be spouting off love advice, especially when it has anything to do with Haru."
"And why the hell not? She agreed to mine."
"Ours." Shaking my head, "Have you forgotten Hika, you practically begged me, to give up on her."
Hika throws out both arms motioning to me. "Tsk, practically nothing, I fucking did beg ."
"And where the hell do you think we would be, if I followed your "so called," advice? You wouldn't even know where she was, if I listened to you."
"Not this again."
"Yes, this again , it's a fair point, Hika."
"Well, at the moment she's pissed at what "you" had me do."
"Way to avoid the question, big brother." …Look "we,"" Motioning a finger between us. "Meaning, you and I, are doing this, to protect her."
"We? Really, Kao? I didn't see you anywhere near the jet. Oh wait, that's because YOU left it for ME, to carry out! Damn it Kaoru, do you have any idea what I went through for your ass!"
"I don't know, Hika, Do YOU?"
"Oh that's cute, answering me with my own question! I deserve a damn answer! I spent weeks trying to clean up your fuck up, and this is what I get?! Fuck, I should have just told her!"
"You didn't though, I mean about the guilty pleasures? Hika, she doesn't know about them, right?"
"Hell no, jeeze Kaoru, I said, I SHOULD have told her, not that I actually did. How could she? You haven't once spoken to her, after whatever the fuck happened...I mean, I know she wanted to uh, talk to you ...but you're the one being a horse's ass and refusing."
"Then, if she doesn't know, how do you-"
He huffs while lifting a hand to his perplexed face, scratching his cheek. "I uh, just put two and two together …besides I know how those damn things, can fuck with a guy's head."
"Wait, a minute, are you saying? Is that why you suddenly-"
"Became a man whore? Kao, I think you sometimes overlook the fact, at one time, we coped with her disappearance in the "same" manner."
"It's hard to remember that, when you were always harping at me, to quit."
"Yeah well, I'm fucking sorry you ever figured out what I was doing… how I was coping."
"I don't, not for a minute. Hika, what you figured out, really helped us."
"Yeah, but look at you now …you wouldn't be dealing with the aftereffects, if I hadn't indulged in the twisted habit, in the first place."
"Aww Hika, don't you go blaming yourself, it was my decision …it was the only way I could cope with her disappearance, just like you."
I could see my brother's vauge eyes staring off somewhere else. "It was the ONLY way." Hika voice turned soft and reflective, while speaking to himself.
"Then will you finally tell me, Hika?" A comforting hand slides over my twin broad shoulder. I mean what "actually" happened?"
His eyes focus with my touch, glancing at my hand before nodding his head. "It started one night … I uh had just finished with a uh-"He lifts his hand with his stumbling words
"Guilty pleasure?" Lifting my hand away from his shoulder.
"Yeah, a particularly pleasurable one, at…uh that." He glances down at his fidgeting fingers, before nodding. "Anyway, once alone and at home, I remember feeling exhausted ...the Guilty pleasures… were uh losing their effect. Each time they had to be longer, more daring or I would start to remember ….In the end all I wanted is to crash into bed, and pull the covers over my head. Sleeping my existence away."
"And you hassled me, about my reactions." Speaking in a sarcastic tone, shaking my head.
Hika's golden eyes snap up, flare with irritation. "Hey, to be fair, I was trying to get you quit! Which I guess, if you look back now, I was totally in the right to do so!"
"Yeah well," unfolding my arms rubbing the back of my neck, it sounds like you were depressed."
"No shit, Kao, thanks for stating the obvious , little brother! Haru is the love of my life, and she fucking vanished! Is it any wonder I -"
"Alright, alright, we both know what happened! Get back to the damn story. You were sleeping and-"
"And I fucken couldn't, alright! Am I being clear enough for you?"
"Um, not really. Are you saying you couldn't sleep? Because if that's true, we might have more in common than you might think?"
"Fuck Kaoru, no matter what I did she kept coming into my dreams!" His burning eyes mellowed into an unmistaken sadness, dropping to his hands. "Only she wasn't the sultry "guilty pleasure" we readily entrained ourselves with."
"She wasn't?"
He shakes his head, "No, she was the exact same girl from that fucking school! I tried everything to avoid her … even amping up my guilty pleasures. But nothing worked, every time I closed my eyes there she was, staring at me with pure distain in hers."
"I don't get it, then how did that cause your opposite behavior, regarding guilty pleasures ?"
"Well you see." Hika purposely lifts his eyes, being sure to give me a knowing look. "After my time "away" from the rest of the world."
"Yeah, go on."
I uh, sort of found out, if I didn't even glance into "ANY" brown eyes, I could slowly, enviably push her back. That way, My pain was dulled to almost bearable, and I could almost live.
…however just one slip , and I would need to start over. "
.
"I always knew, it had to be about Haru…you suddenly despising brown eyes, there wasn't any other explanation that made sense, except her."
"Kao, a blind man could see that… My feeling for her, were irrevocably there, not even thinly vailed. I just couldn't bring myself to recognize them."
"I know Hika."
"Anyway, that's when I quit the, "guilty pleasures", cold turkey…Battling a devastated heart, while seeing her chocolates constantly taunting me from every brown eyed induvial ….it was enough …to well, I think you get the idea."
Avoiding the uncomfortable topic, I awkwardly chuckle. "I guess, I wasn't too far off the mark when I thought you were sleeping around, to avoid thinking about her."
"No, she's never left, even when my twisted head blamed her, for leaving…Haru never left my heart. I started sleeping around because it was just something to do." My brother just shugged his shoulders, with his arms crossed.
Lifting a knowing eyebrow above a teasing smirk." Hika, you became a man whore, because you were bored? I guess in a way that can be considered a hobby."
He hisses, "No, not like that!" Although his mood changes in an instant. "It was the loneliness, that's when her eyes would haunt me the most …The pain would dull if my head was occupied, and since my hands were too, so much the better."
"Yeah, but I didn't react in the same way, I-"
"No Kao, don't!" Hika suddenly moved in a flash, finding Hika's fingers tightly gripping my shirt.
My eyes drop to his fists ."Hika, what the hell do you think you're doing!"
"Please Kao shut your fucken trap." With his fists shaking, he attempts to restrain himself, shoving against my chest. "Look I'm guessing your "guilty pleasure" aftermath, is different from my own experience, just by what you've eluded to. I'm not stupid, just by yours and Haru's behavior I can tell- So don't you dare fucking tell me!" His stoked flaming eyes are almost pleading.
"What?! You don't want to know, I'm mean, considering its Haru, don't you think you should?"
"No, not this time." His hand loosens and slip from my wrinkled shirt. "She doesn't want me too. She wants to keep, "whatever happened" private, between the two of you." Hika continued to strain, attempting to cap his evident inflamed feelings. "However for that to happen, you're going to have to be in the same room, as her."
Adjusting my shoulders while avoiding my brother's eye. "Yeah well, the way I feel, that seems impossible."
"Get over it, Kaoru!" He reaches out and smacks my shoulder. It uh, is taking some um, time but she slowly coming around…you can too, little brother."
"Uh, thanks, Hika ...Ill uh, think about it." Awkwardly nodding my head as my voice comes out rough and forsaken.
"Don't thank me just yet, I'm not taking this matter lightly, in any stretch of YOUR twisted imagination. The restraints he holding back his fuming emotions snaps."
"Hika?"
" Stop it Kaoru, I need to get through this… You see, ever since you walked into my room, that night, I been having a recurring feeling, a rather nasty feeling that I can't quite shake. That for some reason I beat the crap out you ."
"Fine, I think you should, I deserve at least that much." I purposely stand in front of my fuming twin, with my hands tensed at my side.
Seeing my actions causes Hika to shake his head. "But Haru doesn't want that, and frankly neither do I. So for now," I could tell my twin was having a difficult time, watching him struggle while swallowing, "I'm trying Kaoru ….I'm really trying to step back."
"I uh understand, I'm surprised your being so ….reasonable."
I'm not finished. Kao, you know you mean everything to me. I think I've demonstrated, to you that much, in our shared lifetime. Dear brother, I love you more than life its self. However twin, or no twin, if you don't get this shit under control I won't have to worry about "sharing" her. Because god help me, you won't be around, if I ever catch you-"
Throwing out my hands, "Okay, ok, I get the picture. Awkwardly rubbing the back of my neck."I wouldn't have even called you back, if "he" hadn't insist upon it. " Unknowingly my eyes slide to the bedroom door.
"He, he who? Wait, you don't mean the Shadow King, fuck, if it's really that bastard, Haru, isn't safe! Why the hell did you risk calling us back, if that's the case?"!
"Hika, it's not about him." Dropping my hand while breathing out a heavy sigh,
"Well…not in so many words."
"In so many words, what the hell does that even mean? Do me favor, little brother, and act like me for, once! Be a little more, fucking blunt, stop being so damn cryptic! Lay it out there so I can figure out what the hell you're trying to tell me!"
"Hika, if you'd be less like your usual boisterous self, you would hear, that's exactly what I've been trying to do, this entire time!"
"Fine, then say it, Kaoru. It's Time to come clean, little brother, why the hell couldn't you say "any" of this over the phone?!"
"That's what's I would like to know too, I mean since this isn't about patching things up?" A pair of chocolate eyes appear at the open door.
Deeply entrenched in our exchange we didn't notice my suite's door opening until it was too late . Our stunned eyes flashed to the sudden appearance of the brunet beauty. "Haru?! Shocked we both sputtered.
Frozen, I stood there watching Hika walk up to her, although for an instant her eyes slide over in my direction, before meeting his. "Love?"
"Yes Hika."
"I said you weren't invited, how in the hell did you-"
With a single finger, the woman in question halted my twin's flapping lips. "I know what you said Hika," She raised an eyebrow, with her finger pressed against my twin's silent mouth. "but since when have I ever listened to you." She drops her hand from Hika's bewildered face, "I told you, it didn't work before, and it wouldn't work, now." My heart begins to uncontrollably pond in my tightened throat, as her footsteps echo, pass my dumbstruck twin. My sicken stomach twists knowing there wasn't any more time….the dreaded day is unfortunately here...Our shoes purposely face each other.
"H…H Haru?" Frozen with just a couple of feet between us.
"Hello, Kaoru, I think it's time we stop the games, don't you?"
.
End of chapter 36
I've decided….this story has gone on too long...I refuse to let it gather any more cobwebs. I WILL finish this journey.
Anyway, I've already started the next chapter and all I can say is "WOW. I can't wait to post it.
Thanks for taking a peek ;)
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Alimackatjac.
