I
Nagisa ran up the hospital stairs. She had stopped by the high school after classes on her way here, and as she ascended the poorly lit flight of stairs she thought back on the exchange between her two friends, feeling rather worried about it.
She had first met with Sayaka outside the school at the usual place, and Mami had shown up moments later with a beat up old duffle bag under her arm.
Nagisa remembered getting ready to give Mami a cheery hello, but Sayaka spoke first and simply said, "What's that?"
"Well it's…"
"For her, right?" Sayaka had said in a dry, uncaring tone. That is when Nagisa realized that Sayaka was staring off into the distance and not even looking at Mami, and then it became clear to her that they were having a fight.
"Well, yes…" Mami had said, somewhat guiltily. "Actually, I just stopped by on my way back to let you know I won't be able to hunt tonight… I just thought I should keep an eye on her until her condition improves. Also…" Mami reached into a pouch on the side of the bag and pulled something out. She kept it hidden in her palm as she handed it to Sayaka. "Also, she wanted me to give this to you." Mami smiled, trying to brighten the atmosphere. "She said she doesn't want to owe you anything. Sorry about that, she is quite stubborn." As soon as Sayaka had it in her hand it seemed like she wanted to give it back… it was a GriefSeed.
"Whatever, that sentiment goes both ways I guess. I don't want that girl thinking we're…" Sayaka stuffed the GriefSeed into her skirt pocket and clicked her tongue. "Well, nevermind. Actually, I wasn't going to hunt with you guys today either. I told my friend Hitomi I'd meet her at the cafe, so that's where I'm going."
"Oh, okay then," said Mami. "Let's just call it off for tonight, and tomorrow we can… um…" Before she finished speaking Sayaka had abruptly turned and started walking away.
That is the moment Nagisa could not shake from her mind. She remembered watching Sayaka walking away and feeling like she should run after her and say something to set her straight. But she did not, and she was already regretting it.
Before Nagisa and Mami had parted ways, Mami gave her a smile and assured her that everything was fine, and then they said their goodbyes for the day.
"Stupid weird girl…" Nagisa muttered to herself as she came to her mother's door at the hospital. Sayaka was really acting like a huge jerk… but… Nagisa frowned, thinking it was partly her own fault that things ended up like this. If Homura hadn't used her as a hostage Mami never would have had to free her.
She stopped when she heard something from inside the room: "Ha! YAAAH!" She could not help smiling once she heard it, and then creaked the door open to peeked inside. "Waaaah! HiiiyYAAA!"
Her mom was on her feet, wearing the loose hospital robe and she was throwing punches and kicks at thin air. She retook her stance after finishing a combo, her fists squared up in front of her face and prepared for another attack when she noticed Nagisa through the corner of her eye, peeking at her through the doorway. She grinned, and dropped back to a neutral stance as Nagisa came in.
"Hello mama!" Nagisa said as she came over to her. She put her arms up so her mom could bend down and give her a hug.
"Hey sweetie!" she laughed, "Schools out already? I must have lost track of time."
"Yup! Um, guess you're feeling pretty good today, huh?" Nagisa asked. Once they parted from their hug Nagisa went over to the bed and shrugged off her bookbag. Her mom took a seat on top of the mattress and wiped her forehead with the sleeve of her robe.
"Yeah, I feel great!" She then put a finger over her lips and winked as she whispered: "Don't tell the doctors you caught me training like that, though. They are insisting I just stay in bed, but I feel so good I honestly think that would do more harm than good."
"That's good to hear!" Nagisa put her hands on the mattress to help boost herself up on the bed and took a seat next to her mom. "And don't worry, I won't tell the doctors on you."
Her mom had been a martial arts practitioner her whole life, not as a career or anything like that, but just more as an enthusiastic hobby. Though, Nagisa had seen pictures of her when she was in high school and used to compete in tournaments. Back home they had a small training room her mom worked out in every day; until she started getting sick, that is. Years ago, before her father passed away, he would use it too. Nagisa herself never showed much interest in martial arts, but she still always thought her mom looked really cool when she was doing it.
"So how was your day?" her mom asked.
"It was okay."
"Just okay?" Her mom smiled, but then noticed a slight frown on her daughter's face. "Hm, something on your mind?"
"Huh… oh, well… I guess I was just thinking, my friends seem to be having a fight. I was just thinking about that."
"Mami and Sayaka?" her mom asked. Nagisa nodded. "Now, what could they be fighting about?"
"Well, it's hard to explain. Really it seems like it's Sayaka who has the problem. I guess she is a little mad at Mami about… um… well, something that happened."
"That's a pretty general explanation."
Nagisa felt bad about not being able to explain everything to her mom. If she wanted she could easily come up with a lie regarding what her friends were fighting about, but she did not want to. It's not that she would never lie to her mom, but considering how close she had come to losing her she would feel extra guilty about it if she did it now. "I don't know, it's probably nothing. I'll tell you about it later some time."
"Okay, I understand. I bet it's something personal between them, isn't it?"
"I guess you could put it like that," Nagisa said with a nod.
"Don't worry, friends fight sometimes, it's natural. They seem pretty close so I am sure they will get over whatever it is.
Nagisa nodded, "Yeah, you're right."
"Hey, you want to take a walk around the hospital? I'm just feeling a little stir-crazy from being hauled up in this room all day. I could use a change of scenery."
"Okay," Nagisa smiled. "The doctors won't be mad though, will they?"
"I'm sure it will be perfectly fine. Who knows, maybe if they do see me on my feet a little more it will actually convince them it's okay to send me home already." Her mom laughed and patted Nagisa's head.
Nagisa returned the laugh as she said, "Alright, sounds good!" As they were leaving the room Nagisa asked, "You are still going to be let out in a few days though, right?"
"Actually, I'm not sure. I may have jumped the gun a little when I told you that. They still don't have an explanation for what my illness was, and the fact it went away so suddenly must have them a little bit perplexed." She looked down and gave another warm smile. "Don't let that worry you, though. I think that whatever it was, there was some kind of miracle and now it is all over."
Nagisa once again felt a little guilty that she could not tell her mom that she was the one responsible for that miracle. She was also coming to the realization she was probably going to have to start lying to her mom about a lot of things thanks to her new life as a Magical Girl.
It was a shame, because after the events of last night she was starting to feel extra nervous about her new job. When Kyoko started attacking them there was not a single thing she could do to help, and that was not the first time she felt that way. Even when fighting against witches her effectiveness was rather minimal. It was typically Mami and Sayaka who did most of the direct fighting. Not only that, if she did not let herself be taken as a hostage by Homura last night, then Homura would not have been able to get away. Sayaka would have her friend back, and she and Mami would not be fighting. Nagisa felt so guilty about it because she knew it was all her fault for being stupid and getting caught.
"Hey mama… um... can… you teach me how to fight?" she suddenly asked.
"Huh?" she looked down with a raised eyebrow, surprised to hear that from her daughter. "You mean you want to learn martial arts?"
"Yeah."
"Sure, I could start showing you some basics once we get home. It's odd though, you never really showed interest in it before, so how come the change of heart so suddenly?"
Nagisa frowned, seemingly like she didn't want to answer at first. Eventually, in a low voice, she said: "Because I want to be stronger."
"Stronger?" Her mom thought for a moment, her eyes glancing upward as she pondered it. Then she looked back down to her daughter and smiled. "You know, there is more than one way a person can be strong. If you ask me, I think you are already much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are assertive and unafraid of going after the things you want. When you see someone doing something wrong you speak up about it, and you are always trying to help people. So don't worry, you are just fine, Nagisa!"
She gave her daughter another smile, but Nagisa's eyes remained on the floor. "Why do you feel that way, Nagisa?" she asked. Nagisa seemed like she would not come out with it, so her mom took a guess. "Does it have something to do with when I was sick?"
Nagisa stopped walking, and slowly nodded her head. "Kind of."
"Oh, Nagisa." Her mom lowered down to her knees so she could give her daughter a big hug. "I know, that must have been so scary for you. I promise I am okay now, though!"
"I- I know that," Nagisa said, her voice cracking a little as she started to cry. Throughout the last few months, watching her mother slowly deteriorate day after day, Nagisa managed to keep herself from crying. Now that it was all over, for some reason it felt like it was okay to cry again and she suddenly could not stop the tears from coming. "I just felt so useless!" Nagisa said with a sob, "I-I wanted to help you but there was nothing I could do! I hated it!"
"Aw, but you did help me. You helped me a lot," her mom said and patted her daughter's back. "While I was sick I was fighting hard to keep my strength up. Despite how hopeless everything looked, I kept my mind focused, and prayed every day, thinking about nothing but getting healthy again. Where do you think I got that strength from?" She parted enough to look at her daughter's face. "I got it from you. The idea of leaving my little girl behind scared me more than anything else, and that was my reason for fighting. Every time you would come to visit me, and I got to see your smiling face, it always strengthened my resolve. Then when I suddenly got better… well, I know that it was a miracle but somehow when it happened I knew it was thanks to you, because during all of my wishes and praying, I really just had you in mind."
The tears suddenly stopped flowing from Nagisa's eyes, and she rocked forward to put her arms around her mom again. "I love you mama!"
She put her arms back around her daughter and said, "I love you too Nagisa. Don't worry, everythings all better now. Mama's not going anywhere for a long time!"
Yeah, Nagisa thought, things would be better because of her wish, the wish she could not tell her mom about. There was a price she had to pay, though, and she knew she had to work hard and be strong to fulfill her end of the bargain. She needed to get strong so she could defeat the witches, and any more mean Magical Girls who wanted to do her friends harm. She just wished she did not have to hide all of this from her mother.
Nagisa sniffed and hugged her even tighter, "I love you so much!"
II
Junko prided herself on her ability to stay completely composed no matter what the situation. In her career she had done presentations in front of Japan's top corporate CEOs in situations where billions of yen could be lost or gained depending on her ability to sow faith in her company's abilities. In those situations if she felt any hint of anxiety she was able to stifle it and hide it from even herself to the point she could not say if it was there at all. Now, as the phone went silent and she awaited the kidnapper to pick up, her palm felt sweaty and she could not deny the rapid beating of her own heart.
She listened closely, and the dull static of the phone line was very softly joined with the almost unnoticeable sound of breathing. She swallowed, and calmly said, "Hello?"
There was no response, but Junko knew the kidnapper was there.
"So, what can I call you?" she asked. There was still no response. She waited a moment, and then tried another approach. "Listen. I understand that you do not want any money, but if we talk I am sure we can find a better solution to this dilemma. Your claim is that you are trying to protect Madoka. I do not know what it is she needs protection from, but if we work together perhaps we can find a way of keeping her safe. I'm her mother. My child's safety is the most important thing in the world to me. If keeping her away from danger is truly your goal then I am the greatest ally you can have for that purpose. So, let's talk."
Junko waited for the kidnapper, but it still seemed as though she had nothing to say. "What exactly is the danger?" Junko asked. "How about we start there? Is there someone else who is trying to hurt her? Please, help me understand this."
Finally, the kidnapper spoke. Her words were clean and steady but there was a lack of tone in them that was strangely unnerving. "It is hard to explain, but yes, it could be put that way. There is indeed someone out there whose ambitions will put Madoka in danger, but that is not the only danger that faces her. You see, Madoka is also a danger to herself. She will not listen to my warnings, and so I must take drastic measures to insure she does not do anything…" the kidnapper's voice trailed off, but it did not feel like she was thinking about how to say it. It was more like she was allowing the next word to sit in her mouth for a moment, so she could taste it before letting it out... "Foolish…"
Junko's hand tightened on the phone, and her face tensed into a deep scowl. She reminded herself to keep a level head. Her baby was in trouble and she did not know how dangerous this person could be. She had to be careful not to say anything that would provoke her.
"My daughter is a smart girl. You have been with her for close to two weeks now, so I am sure you see that. I am sure we can keep her from endangering herself… but please, I am completely in the dark on this. Can you help me understand exactly what is happening?"
"I am sorry, it would be impossible to make you fully understand, but I will put it as generally as I can. There is someone who wants something from Madoka, or rather, there is something this person wants her to do. It is something that will undoubtedly lead to her death if she gives in, and as I said before, it is a guarantee that Madoka will eventually end up doing just that. The only way to prevent this is to hide her, and keep her away from this person who wants to offer her a contract."
"A contract? I… don't understand. What kind of contract?" The way the kidnapper said the word contract was so unnerving that Junko subconsciously put her other hand around her wrist to steady it from shaking.
The kidnapper let out a resigned sigh, as if she did not want to say what she was about to say, but forced it out anyway. "A kind that is not of this world. I said person when referring to this contractor, but it would actually be more accurate to refer to him as a creature. His contract will strip Madoka of her humanity and turn her into a tool. After she has been used, she will die. As I say this I can only imagine how you are interpreting it, Junko Kaname, but understand this: there are things in this world that go beyond your current notions of reality. I am not crazy, and none of this is made up. The danger Madoka is in is real, but as long as she stays with me she will be safe. I can guarantee you that."
Junko's hand went from steadying her wrist to covering her mouth. The way all of that was said… Junko could tell she completely believed what she was saying. In fact, the seriousness of her tone was so convincing that Junko almost felt like she believed it herself. She finally was able to identify that feeling in her heart that was causing her hand to shake… it was a new sensation for her, and something she had never felt before: It was horror.
"Okay… well, first do you think you could give me a name to call you by?"
The kidnapper thought, and then said, "Clara."
Despite everything, Junko was somehow keeping her voice steady, and more than that, she managed to keep it at a friendly tone. "I am assuming that is a pseudonym," she said with a vague hint of humor. She was indeed at least able to keep her voice under control, and have her words come out exactly the way she wanted. Her face, if Clara could see it, showed a completely different person, however.
"Of course."
"Well, Clara, I will not try to argue what you just told me and I will take it as fact for now. However, I now have to ask why it is you have taken it upon yourself to protect Madoka from this? I'm assuming you have not known her for very long, or else I would have heard about you by now," Junko gave a small casual laugh, "My daughter is a real talker, you know, I get to hear about all her new acquaintances and she never mentioned some like y-"
"Quiet!" Clara suddenly spat out. There was an unexpected level of emotion in her voice and it silenced Junko instantly. "I… I know how this must seem but… I care about your daughter very much…" Junko could hear a door shut in the background. Did Clara just retreat to a different room? "She is the only reason I have for living, yet, if I could trade my own life to make this all go away I would do that in a heartbeat. But it is not that simple. This is the only way I could think of. Even if it hurts her, and she hates it, at least she is safe with me."
"And how do you think I feel?" Junko asked. "Madoka is my daughter! You sound young, so I don't think you could possibly understand what it's like being a parent." Junko slowed herself down and reminded herself not to start attacking this girl, even though part of her really wanted to let her have it. "Listen, my children are everything to me. I wasn't sure what to make of your letter when you said you were trying to protect Madoka, but now that I have spoken to you I do believe that is your intention. Still, you must know that this method of going about it is wrong."
"I…" Clara started to speak, paused, and Junko waited in silence for her to give her response. After a moment she said, "I know, but I have no choice."
"Yes you do. Put an end to this and let Madoka come home. I don't know much about you, or what kind of situation you are in, but I'm sure I can help you as well. I have a lot of connections and-"
"What are you talking about?" Clara asked.
The horrified feeling in Junko's heart was at least dissipating somewhat. Perhaps it was hearing actual emotion from this girl rather than the droning tone as she stated what Junko was sure were complete delusional fantasies as facts. At least now she seemed like a real person. "Clara… don't take this the wrong way, please, but have you ever considered that this contractor you mentioned is not real?"
"You do think I am crazy. I can not blame you. I honestly doubted that you would come to any other conclusion when I explained things. I assure you I am completely sane though, and this line of conversation is pointless."
Junko thought for a moment. It was frustrating because she felt like there was some magical line of words that, if strung together in just the right way, could be used to convince Clara to stop what she was doing and let Madoka go. She did not know what those words could be, but how confidently Clara just denied her insanity proved that method might be no good. Talking about Madoka is what made her sound most human, however, so Junko went back to that. "How exactly do you know my daughter?" she asked.
"I know her…" More hesitation.
"It's okay, tell me," Junko prodded when it seemed Clara was stuck between whether to say it or not.
"I know her from another life."
"Another life?" Junko asked.
"Yes."
"I don't understand."
"No, you would not. No one can understand what I have been through… but… Junko Kaname, I know what you are trying to do and I assure you it is pointless. This is harsh, but I think it is more cruel to give you false hope, so I will just say it. I will be keeping Madoka with me for three years… maybe four or more if it is necessary. I am sorry that is the way it has to be, but let me ask which you would prefer: would you prefer that your daughter spends four years under my protection, or would you prefer her to simply be dead?" Junko gasped and instantly felt tears sting her eyes. "Don't misunderstand, I would never bring harm to Madoka, of course. Now, please answer the question. Which do you think of as the better outcome?"
"I'm not answering that," said Junko, her voice wavering and cracking despite her efforts to keep herself together.
"It's okay, I think I have made my point clear. You might never believe it, or have any faith in me, but that is the ultimatum your daughter is faced with. I'm going to keep her alive. If I was not here, she would be dead."
"You can't possibly know that!" Junko yelled at her. "Please! Look around yourself! Look at how wrong this is! You can not just imprison her like this! It's WRONG!" Junko felt like she couldn't stand up straight anymore, and kneeled down inside the phone booth, one hand over her mouth and the other holding the phone firmly against her ear. "Please… just let her go… she's my daughter, and her family misses her. She has a life… you can't do this to her! So please…"
"I'm giving the phone back to Madoka now. I will feel bad if I take up all the time in this phone call… especially if it is spent discussing something pointless."
"Clara! Wait!" Junko yelled into the phone, "Come back! Talk to me! Please just talk to me!" her hand came away from her face and she pounded a fist against the side of the phonebooth. "Please!" She realized it really was pointless, and she wiped the tears off her cheeks as she forced herself to stand again. She did her best to pull herself together, so that when she spoke with her daughter she would be able to sound strong, and give her encouragement.
"H-hello again mom!" Madoka said, doing her best to sound cheerful and hide the distress which was still perfectly clear to her mother.
That's so like her, Junko thought with a smile. Even in this situation, she is thinking about making others happy. She always does that. Part of her was happy that Madoka was still the same, but when they first talked at the start of the phone call Junko picked up on something else that was concerning her...
"Hey baby," Junko said, softly. What was she supposed to say? She wanted to help her daughter, but the only tool she had available to do so were words. What good could words do? How could she rescue her daughter from this clearly irrational person when that is all she had? "How are you doing sweetheart?"
"Um… well, I'm okay… um… it's just good to hear your voice, mama."
Junko could not help smiling more. No matter what, her children were always able to put a smile on her face. "I love you so much Madoka."
"I love you too mama!" Madoka said back. "Um… we are going to get to talk like this more. She says she will try to arrange phone calls more often, and I am trying to convince her to find a way to get daddy and Tatsuya on the phone too so I can talk to them. I-it is really not too bad here, so don't be too sad, mom."
"What kind of place is it?" Junko asked, wiping her face on the back of her sleeve. "Tell me about it."
"Well, let's see… It's a nice place. It's comfortable. Like I said, I have books and TV to watch, even if I do get a little bored with all of that. Also there is a bath, and plenty of food, and… everything I need, really."
"How does she keep you there?" Junko asked, happy to hear Madoka was not being treated too inhumanly, but the way she described all that still concerned Junko for another reason. "I mean, what is preventing you from leaving?"
"Well… there is a lock on the door… also… um…" Madoka's voice trailed off.
"What is it? You don't have to hide anything from me."
"Well… um, th-this really isn't as bad as it might sound, so don't get too worried about it… but… w-whenever she has to leave, she ties me to the bed. S-since she is not around to make sure I'm not trying to escape. She also does that at night when she is sleeping. But it's not too bad! I mean, it makes sense, she's not doing it just to be mean and she really is trying her best to-"
"Madoka," Junko suddenly interrupted her. The thing that bothered her more than anything about this is the way Madoka seemed to be defending her captor. Junko could tell it was not just Madoka trying to stop her from worrying. Madoka was actually rationalizing it all to herself… convincing herself that it was okay to be treated this way. "Is there anything else she does to you?" Junko asked. "Tell me everything."
She heard Madoka sniff, holding back a sob, and she said… "W-well… L-like I said, it really isn't as bad as it sounds, but sometimes she… um…"
"It's okay baby," Junko said, keeping herself together despite the distress she heard in her daughter's voice making her want to break down. "Tell me about it. It's better to be able to talk about things."
"Well… sometimes she gags me…"
"She gags you. With what?"
"A cloth... and tape…"
"And how long has she left you like that?"
"Sometimes… for a really long time… all day once…"
Ever since all of this started Junko had possessed a burning in her heart towards the person who took her little girl away, but hearing that made that anger grow even further. All she really wanted was to have her daughter back, and compared to that one thing not much else mattered, but there is another side of herself she could not deny which just wanted Clara to pay for doing something like that to her daughter. She wanted her to pay in the worst way imaginable.
"It's not that bad though!" Madoka insisted. "I mean, she didn't mean for it to be for a long time, and she gave me music to listen to. I-I mean, she tries to make things as okay as possible, even if-"
"Madoka," Junko interrupted her. "Listen to me closely… what she is doing to you is wrong. You understand that, don't you?" Madoka didn't answer, so Junko continued. "You did not do anything to deserve this, and no matter how nice she tries to be, it is not okay for her to hold you against your will like this. Please tell me you understand that."
"I do… but… Like I said, it's not that bad…"
"It is that bad Madoka," Junko said sternly. "Listen to your mother. Any time you start feeling like it is okay that you are being locked in a room, and tied to a bed, and forced to stay away from your friends and family, remember me right now telling you that it is not okay!" Madoka started sobbing on the other end of the phone. Junko felt terrible, understanding that Madoka's insistence that her situation 'isn't that bad' was actually a defence mechanism to keep herself calm. Her situation would be easier to bear if she allowed herself to think like that, but at the same time going down that psychological path of denying what was really happening to her was far more dangerous. That is why Junko had to do this, and take that little piece of relief away from her, even if it hurt her. "Madoka, your mama loves you."
"I-I… l-love you too, mama…" Madoka sobbed.
"Don't do anything to put yourself in danger," Junko said, deciding to leave Madoka with one last piece of advice. "But you are smart. Use your head, and if you can think of a way to escape - take it!"
Madoka's sobs became lower, Junko realized the phone was being taken away from her and Junko quickly yelled. "Madoka! I love you so much MADOKA!"
Then, Madoka was gone and she could once again feel Clara's presence on the other side of the line. "You have upset her," Clara said. Junko opened her mouth to respond, but Clara spoke right over her. "This is not how I wanted this call to be. I am ending it now. Goodbye."
"Wait!" Junko screamed into the phone, but before she could get another word out she was greeted by a dial tone and Clara was gone.
She listened to the low tone, stared at the receiver, and tightened her grip. She suddenly started slamming the phone against its holder and screaming. She pounded again and again until she was out of breath, her hand stung, and the hard plastic of the phone was split open enough to expose its inner wiring.
Junko let the mutilated phone slip from her hand, and then with almost robotic movements she turned around and walked back out to the city streets. She stood there in a daze, watching cars pass by on the road in front of her, and tears silently rolled down her cheeks.
"What have I done…" she said to herself as the tears dripped off her chin and fell to the ground by her feet.
She was thinking she should have told the police about the letter after all. They had ways of tracking calls. They could have been on their way to rescue Madoka right this second! But no! Why did she take matters into her own hands like this? WHY? Now there was no guarantee there would ever be contact from the kidnapper again...
She no longer felt like she could stand, and fell to her knees right there on the side of the street. She put a hand over her wet face and sobbed. "I'm such a fool…"
-Atomyst
Follow me on twitter- at /Atomyst_fics
