I
Homura waited in the living room, listening to the sound of Madoka crying from behind the bedroom door. She regretted allowing that call to take place. Madoka had been adjusting to her new life, and Homura thought it would improve her mood even more to get to speak to her mother, but in the end it backfired. Now Homura was stuck having to listen to that sound she hated, and she just wished it would stop.
It's okay, Homura thought. I still have her, at least, and she is still safe. She will get over this, and things will get back on track between us.
After Homura had hung up the phone, she instantly went to try and comfort Madoka. Madoka allowed her to place a hand on her shoulder, but it didn't last long. Homura had said, "I'm sorry… I did not think it would go that way. If I knew she would upset you like this, I never would have-"
At those words Madoka instantly shook away from her touch and stared back at her with a horrified expression. Homura stared back, perplexed, and Madoka's expression grew more resentful. "She's my mom!" Madoka screamed, then ran into the bedroom and slammed the door behind herself. Homura followed and stood outside the door, debating whether to go in or not, until Madoka screamed: "Just leave me alone!"
Homura came close to warning her about keeping her voice down, but stopped herself. As long as the yelling stopped with that, it would be alright. She knew saying such a thing while Madoka was in this kind of state would just upset her even more. If it upset her enough that she became uncontrollable with her yelling, then…
Homura's fist clenched. She knew exactly what she would have to do if it came to that. Tying Madoka up while she was in this state, essentially putting her in timeout… Madoka would hate her for sure if she did that…
She felt the walls closing around her. The sound of Madoka's sobbing filled her head. With it, the usual images of her failed timelines haunting her subconscious…
Homura curled down, putting her elbows on her knees and tightening her hands around her ears.
Stop it…
If she tried this method in another timeline, she would have to do things differently...
NO!
There would not be another timeline.
She remembered those past timelines; Madoka's limp body in her arms, watching the life drain from her face… Then, other timelines where instead of dying she would scream in agonizing pain as her SoulGem cracked and she turned into a monster. The most kind-hearted girl Homura had even known (the girl she loved!) would turn into something so terrible… she could never let that happen again!
This was the last one… she just had to put up with this, stay strong, and continue to do what she knew she had to do, no matter what it took... Whether Madoka liked it or not, there was not going to be another timeline!
Madoka eventually calmed down and came back out. Her eyes were still bloodshot from crying, but she put a brave face back on behind it. Surprisingly, she sat down next to Homura on the couch.
Homura had gotten herself back together as well, and figured she at least owed Madoka an apology. "I'm sorry, I did not mean to say it like that..."
"Are you going to let me talk to her again some time?" Madoka asked.
Homura hesitated, it was only for a moment, but it was enough to make Madoka plead with her.
"Please Homura! Sh-she just doesn't understand what's going on. I know I have to stay here, and talking to her won't make me… um… t-try to escape… or anything..." Her eyes began glassing up again. "Also… the call made me kind of sad because… I was really looking forward to talking to her, but all we talked about was…" She glanced around the hotel room that had been her prison for the last weeks. "...well… this..." She took a deep breath, and sniffed back some of her tears. "I was looking forward to it, because talking with her always makes me feel good. I always got to tell her about my day, about gossip at school, and also hear about her work, and that was always a lot of fun… but now…"
Madoka looked around again, then back to Homura. They held eye contact for a moment before Madoka let her eyes drop. "Now… while I was talking to her, I realized it would be impossible to have one of our normal conversations… because I don't do any of that anymore. All I do now is just…" Her words trailed off, but in her mind big bold kanji thudded against the inside of her head, one was the kanji for flame, making up part of a name...
HOMURA.
Homura was the only thing that Madoka had now. Even the manga she had been reading was tainted by her captor's name, because she was the one who had selected it for her.
If she told her mom about her day now, it would go something like this: "I woke up when Homura got me up, and ate the breakfast she cooked for me. Later she had to go out so I had to go back to bed and I took a nap. I bathed after she got home, she made a nice dinner for me, then I read a manga she bought for me until she told me it was time to go to bed."
Madoka did not speak all the words in her head, but Homura understood what she was getting at. "I'm sorry…" Is all she could say. She had defended her actions before, and she still felt this was the only way to keep Madoka safe. Madoka hated this, but it was still better than the alternative… wasn't it?
"But… I still want to talk to her…" Madoka said. "Even if it can not be like it was… I don't want to just disappear completely. That's too scary…"
Homura was silent for a while. She knew it was a bad idea to allow more calls. Aside from how Junko might be able to sway her daughter's heart, there were other risks. Still, although Madoka's happiness was secondary to her safety, Homura did want her to be happy.
"Yes… I'll arrange another call some time…" Homura eventually said, though reluctantly.
Madoka let out a brief sigh of relief. "Thank you, Homura."
II
Sayaka held the GriefSeed Mami had given her as she walked to the cafe to meet Hitomi. She frowned at it, wondering if she should just find a way to give it back. She reached up to her SoulGem earring, glanced around to make sure no one was looking, then disenchanted it back to its gem form.
There was a thick layer of fog rolling around inside of it. Just barely two weeks on the job and she was already failing to keep it clean. It was Kyoko Sakura's fault in the first place; if she had not come to their town and started hoarding GriefSeeds, trying to starve them out, then their team probably would have been doing much better right now. In spite of that, Mami was still going out of her way to help that girl. What about once she is recovered? Wouldn't Kyoko go right back to being their competition and pulling more of her old tricks? On top of that…
"It's her fault," Sayaka whispered to herself, thinking about Madoka. There is no way Homura could have escaped if Kyoko never intervened. Madoka would have been back at school by now, or at the very least, reunited with her family.
I could have rescued her…
Sayaka had imagined it many times: breaking down the door of whatever dump Homura had locked her up in and saving her. Sayaka would stand there, grinning and scratching the back of her head as Madoka looked up with that doey eyed expression of hers. Sayaka would probably make some joke about her own magical girl costume, before Madoka suddenly jumped into her arms. Then, Sayaka would have her friend back.
At that point, they might have gone back to Mami's apartment, or maybe Madoka would want to go straight to her own house and see her parents. Whatever the case, Sayaka would go with Madoka wherever it is she wanted to go and they could fill each other in on the last couple weeks along their way.
Thinking about it, staring at her SoulGem, Sayaka realized just how much she missed her goofy pink haired friend. They had never been separated from each other this long before, and thinking about how close they had come to being reunited filled Sayaka's heart with regret.
She had been running the events of last night through her head over and over again, thinking of anything she could have done differently. Wishing she had done something!
She could still hear the crashing of her sword against Kyoko's spear. The fear and powerlessness she felt every time Kyoko swung the weapon down on her. How weak she felt. The way she was just being toyed with, and that mocking grin on Kyoko's face the entire time. She hated it. If only she was stronger… if only…
Sayaka's hand tightened around her SoulGem. While she felt loathing for that redhead, almost as much as she felt it for Homura, she could not deny that Kyoko was right about one thing: If she was stronger, she might have been able to win.
She opened her other hand and stared at the GriefSeed. Her initial impulse had been to not accept it. To just stuff it back into Mami's hand and deny accepting such a thing from Kyoko… but… she needed it. If she was going to be able to protect Madoka she needed more strength. She needed more magical power.
She glanced around to make sure no one was watching, and her feet slowed to a stop. She then carefully pressed the GriefSeed against her SoulGem and watched as the dark fog was pulled away and the blue gem slowly started to glow a little brighter. When it was done, its impurity had lowered to nothing more than a tiny wisp of smoke that was hardly even noticeable anymore. She returned the SoulGem to her ear, and stuffed the spent GriefSeed in her pocket so she could give it to Kyubey later.
With a sigh, she continued her walk to the cafe where she would meet with Hitomi. She felt depressed, thinking how Madoka was going to be missing from their little trio… it almost didn't feel right to go to that usual hangout place without her.
When she walked through the doors of the cafe she looked around until spotting her green haired friend. Hitomi put up a hand to invite her over.
"Hey Hitomi," Sayaka said, it was a little bit of an effort to put a smile on. Her problems as a Magical Girl were part of it, but simply not having Madoka around and knowing she was in trouble left Sayaka feeling quite anxious and depressed.
"Hello," Hitomi said, also needing to force her smile, but still coming off better than Sayaka. "Thanks for coming."
"Yeah, guess it has been a while…" Sayaka thought back. It had actually only been about two weeks since all of this started, but it felt like it could have been a year. She sighed as she looked around the cafe, as she suspected, it really did not feel right to be here without Madoka.
"Um… so, I've been meaning to talk to you about something," said Hitomi. Sayaka looked back to Hitomi, seeing the somewhat urgent look in her eyes.
"What is it?" Sayaka asked.
"Well, I haven't been seeing you before or after school lately… and Kyousuke has not seen you at the hospital lately either. Is everything alright?"
"Yeah… I've been…" Patrolling the city for evil witches while trying to hunt down Madoka's kidnapper. "... going over to Mami's house after school, I guess."
Hitomi fidgeted a little and blushed. "I see… So, you have been spending a lot of time together?"
Wasted time, Sayaka thought, and felt a little guilty for thinking it. It was not completely wrong, though. "Yeah I guess so."
"That's good," Hitomi forced a smile. "I'm glad you've found such a good friend."
"Yeah…" Sayaka said, unenthusiastically. She felt rather disillusioned with Mami right now.
"Right, so… like I said, I actually asked you to come meet me because I wanted to talk to you about something."
Sayaka had been distracted by her own thoughts, but she started to realize Hitomi was acting a bit strangely as well.
"What's up Hitomi?" Sayaka asked, giving her a slight grin. "You seem a little off yourself."
Hitomi looked guilty at first, but only needed a moment to regain herself and say what she had set out to say today. "Sayaka… actually, I wanted to talk to you about Kyousuke."
Sayaka raised an eyebrow. "Um… Kyousuke? What about him?"
"Well, I hope this doesn't feel like it's coming out of the blue, but… well, you remember how the three of us used to hang out a lot, right?"
"Uh, yeah, of course," Sayaka said, feeling confused, but also getting a little worried about Hitomi's tone.
Hitomi took a deep breath and finally spat it out. "I feel bad about doing this now, with everything that has been going on lately, but I feel like I can't wait anymore. I probably should have been more honest before, but I never felt like the time was right… but… I can't just keep sitting on the sidelines like this and making excuses…"
"Hitomi?" Sayaka asked with a raised eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"
"Sayaka… I…"
As Hitomi spoke her next words, Sayaka's eyes widened and her head suddenly felt like it was filling with static.
"I… love Kyousuke…"
"What…" Sayaka stared at her, partly thinking this was a really bad joke. "Are... you serious?"
Hitomi looked a little guilty, but there was also resolve in her expression. She looked back into Sayaka's eyes and confidently said, "Yes."
III
Though Madoka said she was not thinking about escaping, Homura knew better. Junko told Madoka that no matter how her heart starts to sway, don't forget this situation is wrong. She even went as far as to tell Madoka to try to escape if she saw a chance.
Homura knew Madoka well enough by now, through all her time loops, that any words of advice from her mother were treated as the golden commandments. That is why Homura now wished she had not let the call happen, because she knew those words were dangerous. It could destroy whatever chance there was of Madoka simply accepting this new life here with her, and complying with her confinement.
She watched the innocent pinkette as she read from one of her manga. Right now, Homura knew that Madoka was spinning ideas around in her head. Did she have any plans yet? Probably not… Homura had covered her bases pretty well here in the hotel room, so if she could not think of a way for Madoka to escape, then Madoka would not be able to think of one either.
She was at least glad to see Madoka had calmed down from earlier, but still, she decided that she needed to test her.
Homura set her book down on the coffee table and yawned. "I'm going to take a shower."
"Oh… okay," Madoka said in her small sweet voice.
As soon as Homura left the room, Madoka's ears perked up and focused on the sounds from inside the bathroom. Indeed, it was just as Homura suspected, although her eyes pointed at the pages of the manga, she was not reading. Just listening. Once she heard the shower start, she closed the book and stood up. She stared at the closed bathroom door. Mild suspicions poked at her mind as well, but she ignored them.
She tiptoed over to the front door. One step caused the flooring to creak, which instantly froze her in place in an uncomfortable tiptoeing posture, but once she confirmed the sounds of Homura showering had not changed (and she steadied the beating of her own heart) she continued to the front door.
There has to be a way out of this, she thought, assessing what options there possibly could be.
The combination lock Homura had installed was the first thing she considered. Was there a way to get the combination? There is little chance that Homura had it written down somewhere, but would it be based on a date or something which Madoka could guess? She reached over, picked it up, and pulled on it ever so slightly, just testing how sturdy it was.
Think… she told herself, looking for other options.
The lock itself would be impossible to undo without the combination, but what about the latch it was attached to? It was screwed tightly into place… but… Madoka eye'd the screws. Screws could be undone… there was not a screwdriver here in the hotel room, but could something else be used for that purpose? Her mind flashed through everything in the kitchen. The screws were tiny, so the tip of a knife probably would not work.
Her eyes shifted over to the hinges of the door next. It looked like they were simply made of circles with a peg going through the middle. If that peg were removed from each of the three hinges the door would open from that side. They looked to be in there pretty tight, though. Likely, the only way to remove them would be to use a chisel and a hammer to push the pegs up from the bottom, so that idea was no-
"Madoka…" She heard Homura's voice behind her and she instantly let out a shriek as she turned around and plastered her back against the door. Homura was standing a few paces back, fully dressed in her magical girl attire and with a very stern expression on her face. She must have stopped time in the bathroom then came out to watch her.
"H-Homura, I-I was just…"
Homura narrowed her eyes at her even further. "You were looking for a way out."
Madoka could not deny it, and just gulped nervously. It had been a while since she saw that expression on Homura's face, and she forgot just how scary it was. She did not know just how far this girl who had full power over her was willing to go. "I-I'm sorry. I was just looking at it…"
Homura nodded, then turned away as she said, "Come on."
"What?" Madoka asked, her back still tight against the door.
"I want you to come into the bedroom. We are calling it a night early tonight."
"Why?" Madoka asked, but she did not get an answer. She eventually gulped and followed after her. She knew there would be no point in refusing what Homura told her to do. Even if she tried, it would not last long.
"I'm sorry for tricking you," Homura said, once they were in the bedroom. "I wanted to see if you were still in the mindframe of sneaking around while I was not looking. It turns out I was right to be suspicious, however."
"C-can you blame me?" Madoka asked. "I mean… a-anyway you look at it I'm being held here against my will!" She was trying to sound strong and assertive, but she could not hide the intimidation in her voice.
"I don't blame you for your actions, but they are still unacceptable. As I said before, if I can't trust you I will not be able to give you as much freedom. That was just a test, but you still need to understand the results…" Homura looked back at her, that stoney gaze was as intimidating as ever. "I do not enjoy this, but I feel it is necessary. Now, please lay down."
Madoka's eyes widened… "W-what are you planning?"
Homura, raised an eyebrow. "Planning? I would not put it like that… For now, instead of getting to spend the rest of the night in the living room you must simply stay here. I still need to take a shower, and since I can not trust you, I have to tie you up. I think…" Homura thought about how she should say the next part, but she couldn't think of a better word than the one that most naturally came to mind: "I think… Doing this is a satisfactory punishment. Now, hurry up and lay down." Homura then walked over to the closet where she kept her supplies.
Madoka hated this, but she couldn't complain… she had been caught, after all…
No! Don't think like that! A tiny voice in the back of her head shouted at her. That voice used to be a lot stronger, but it had gotten much smaller over the last weeks. She tried to remember what her mom told her- This is not okay!
She went over to the bed and sat down. She was expecting Homura to come back over with the fuzzy handcuffs, the rope had not been used since Homura obtained those handcuffs. However, the rope is what Homura brought over this time.
"Um…" Madoka's eyes widened at that… "W-what are you doing?"
"Just lay down flat… I'm tying you spread eagle, since it is the most secure method."
"But…" Madoka blushed as she tried to force out a complaint. She really did not enjoy being tied that way, and Homura knew that. She could not find a way to word her complaint, however. She understood why Homura was doing it like this, it was as she said a moment ago… she was punishing her...
Homura tied the rope into nooses as she had done before, then began tethering each of Madoka's limbs to one of the bedposts. By the time both of Madoka's arms were restrained, Madoka worked up enough courage to speak. "H-Homura, I get it, okay? You made your point, so you don't have to do it like this…" She also was looking ahead to those extra hours of being tied this way. Usually she could just sleep through her time being tied, but now she would have to spend at least a few waking hours all alone in the dark with only her own thoughts to accompany her.
Homura pulled her legs down, forcing her body to stretch out and giving her arms less wiggle room. Madoka looked at each hand, balling them into fists and struggling. "I-if you let me just go back to the living room for now… I promise I won't try anything else. You can take a shower, and we can read together like we usually do!"
Homura tied one leg and moved on to the other. She felt bad for Madoka, but this needed to be done. If she showed leniency now, when it was just this minor offence from her captive, there might be an even greater offense later. Even if this was harsh, it was for Madoka's own good. She started tying the other leg.
"Homura?" Madoka asked again, feeling a little bit of panic sinking in. "You don't have to do this… the handcuffs are fine, aren't they?"
"Imagine if you were to do something that compromises our safety here in this hotel room. The next place we end up may not even have a bed, and you will end up in an even more uncomfortable situation than you are right now." Homura walked back to the closet to retrieve something else. "I don't want that to happen, so I need to make sure you understand your actions have consequences."
"I-I get that… but…" Madoka looked at each of her restraints. Her body was forced into an X shape, barely an inch of wiggle room on each side, but she could not help struggling against it anyway. "I'm sorry, okay?" Then she saw what Homura was coming back with. "Homura! W-why do you have that!?"
It was a rolled up cloth with a large knot tied in the middle, which Homura was going to gag her with. She used to simply ball up a smaller cloth and use tape, but the tape hurt Madoka's skin so that is why she recently started using this instead. "Here, open your mouth." Is all she said as she brought it closer to Madoka's face.
"N-no!" Madoka shook her head away from it as much as she could. Of course, being restrained as she was, there was little she could do to resist. "Th-this is enough isn't it?"
"Don't struggle, I've already decided this is what I'm going to do."
"No! If you are not planning to leave the hotel room, there is no reason to- to gag me!" Madoka kept moving her head away from the gag as much as she could. Finally, Homura was done simply waiting for her to comply.
Homura grabbed Madoka's chin and held her still. "This isn't a request." Madoka clenched her teeth and stared back defiantly. Homura partly preferred this defiant side of Madoka a little more, because it made her feel less guilty. When Madoka was simply acting depressed and broken, that was a hard thing to watch.
Still, this defiant Madoka could cause problems, and Homura had to make her understand her position. Homura sighed and let go of Madoka's chin. "Do you really think this will be successful? Why don't you just do as I ask?"
Madoka opened her mouth to say something, but as soon as she did Homura stopped time before even hearing a single word. She stuffed the knot inside Madoka's mouth while she was helplessly frozen in the flow of time, then resumed it again.
"Hhmhrh! Nhh ghn't dh thht!" Madoka shouted into the gag as soon as time resumed. She still attempted to shake it away as Homura tied it around her head and pulled it tight.
Realizing the battle was lost, Madoka whined from behind her freshly placed gag and her arms and legs lost their tension against what little wiggle room they had, simply flopping back down against the mattress.
Homura stared at her for a moment, watching her expression. Madoka just sighed, and let her eyes drift over to the wall, knowing there was nothing she could do.
"Alright, one more thing…" Homura said, and Madoka's eyes instantly shot back to her. Homura took out a handkerchief and folded it in half, then brought it up to Madoka's face. Her eyes widened and she shook her head again, understanding that Homura planned to blindfold her.
"Mmmmr!"
"Hold still," Homura told her in a calm yet commanding tone. Madoka still resisted a little, but Homura only needed to use a minimal amount of force to keep her still enough to tie it on. Madoka let out another defeat groan from behind the gag, articulating her frustration.
Once it was done, Homura stood there and watched her captive. Madoka squirmed, her hands and feet softly pulling at the restraints. There was a little more muffled complaining from behind the gag, but it did not last long and Madoka eventually let out a defeated sigh.
Homura sat down on the bed next to her, and brought her hand to the top of Madoka's head, softly placing it there. "If you want, I can stay with you for a little while, until you've relaxed."
Madoka did not respond, but her head fell to the side to rest her cheek against the pillow. It was a resigned gesture, and it did not deny Homura's proposal. Part of Madoka did want Homura to stay with her. Even though Homura was the one who put her in this spot, having her by her side was still better than being all alone in the dark.
She felt Homura's hand begin to gently stroke her hair. She had given Homura permission to do that before, and even now she did not mind it. She could not help feeling vulnerable in this position, but she did not think Homura would do anything that she didn't say was okay.
After a while, the hand came away from her head again, and the mattress shifted as Homura stood up. "I'm going back to the living room now, are you alright?"
Madoka shook her head softly, her body squirming as her hands and feet slightly pulled at their bindings.
"I know you don't like this," Homura said, "But it's only for one night." Homura put her hand on Madoka's cheek and softly guided her so her face pointed at her, even though the gag and blindfold left most of her face covered. "I don't want this either. So take this time to think things over, and forget any ideas you have about escaping, then this won't have to happen again. Understand?"
"Ahm-murra," Madoka said through the gag, carefully annunciating.
Homura?
"Ret. Mmmh. Aaawwk."
Let me talk.
Homura thought about it. What would she have to say? "If you want to ask to be untied, or to have the gag or blindfold removed, the answer is no."
Madoka exhaled loudly, showing her frustration. After that small vent, she became resigned once again. After all, what choice did she have?
Homura's thumb softly went down Madoka's cheek. Her touch was light, if Madoka gave only a slight shake of her head Homura's fingers would slide away, but Madoka's face remained still, looking back at her though she could not see through the blindfold.
"I know this is all difficult for you," Homura said. "I'm sorry that this is the only way I can think to protect you, but you have to get the idea of running away out of your head… that's why…"
Homura's eyes glanced down Madoka's body, watching the soft rising and falling of her small chest, the slight adjustments of her body trying to find comfort against the mattress. Homura always thought of Madoka as a strong person, certainly stronger than she herself used to be, but at the same time Madoka was also so delicate and her strength always just got her into trouble. She needed to be protected… she needed to be kept safe.
"... that's why, I'll warn you. Tonight is just an example, but this is what your life will become if I can not trust you." Her touch against Madoka's face tightened ever so slightly, just enough to cause some discomfort and cause Madoka's shoulders to squirm in response. Homura's fingers slid away and closed around air. "Just stop thinking about it. You're safe here, but if you can not just accept things as they are I'll have to find even harsher methods to dissuade you."
With that, Homura turned around and left Madoka alone. She stopped in the doorway, however, and looked back at her. She was fidgeting against her restraints, moaning into the gag as she struggled, clearly distraught.
For some reason, Homura's wish flashed through her mind:
"I wish to redo my meeting with Madoka, but instead of her protecting me, I want to be the one to protect her!"
She had been so innocent back then, with no idea of just how cruel and unmoving fate could be. Now she stared at the girl she vowed to protect; bound, gagged, and blindfolded. She realized that this is what her wish ended up as. It was thanks to her own failures, her inability to protect Madoka without resorting to all of this. She hated it, but in the end it did not matter. Even if this is the only way she could do it... she would protect Madoka...
IV
Sayaka was in a daze as she walked home that night.
Hitomi… was in love with Kyouske? How could that be?
She supposed… it actually did make sense. She had simply never noticed it before but now that Hitomi put it out there in the open, Sayaka's mind flashed back through small hints and suggestive glances her friend had given to the boy she herself was in love with over the years.
Love?
Sayaka blushed just thinking about that word, but it was true. She was in love with him… and… that is why she used her one and only wish for his benefit.
She remembered the first time she saw him play his violin live. She felt swept away in the dramatic sounds he was creating. She felt the beating of her heart fall in sync with the rhythm of the chords. Her friendship with him suddenly felt special, and she had a desire for him to think of her as special as well.
But now… Hitomi?
One of her best friends?
Sayaka couldn't believe it… and on top of that…
"I'm going to give you twenty four hours to confess to him… if you don't, then I'm going to be the one who does it."
What was she supposed to do? Just out of the blue confess her love to Kyousuke? Did it even work like that? And… What if he said no?
"Damn it Hitomi!" Sayaka muttered to herself. "I'm not ready for this!"
Especially now. With everything that has been going on; becoming a Magical Girl, trying to find Madoka… She wanted her confession for Kyousuke to happen at the perfect time. She did not know when that would be, though she had some fantasies of it happening after a big recital of his or something like that. All she did know is that right now was not that perfect time…
"Damn it…" she muttered to herself.
She already felt like everything was falling apart. Two weeks ago when she made the contract, she pictured herself saving Madoka soon after that, then continuing with her Magical Girl adventures with Mami, and maybe, some time soon confessing to Kyousuke… but… none of that was happening.
She was barely keeping her SoulGem clean, Madoka was still captured, and Mami was busy taking care of Kyoko.
Sayaka did not understand Mami's apparent loyalty to that girl. Someone like Kyoko was their enemy, right? Hell, she tried to kill all three of them! She might have succeeded if Mami hadn't been able to disable her. Even before that, she was hoarding GriefSeeds, causing their own gems to taint, and now Mami wanted them to waste even more of their precious resource healing that very same girl!
Sayaka once again thought back to that helpless feeling she had, trying in vain to fend off Kyoko's spear, trying her best, but ultimately knowing she was only being toyed with… She was so weak that Kyoko was not even taking her seriously as she rained those attacks down on her, grinning all the while, mocking her…
That difference in power... was that really the difference in someone who prioritizes GriefSeeds? Sayaka wondered.
Even if she tracked down Homura, she probably would not be able to beat her, because Homura was just like Kyoko. If Sayaka were to stand a chance of saving Madoka, she understood something… she needed more power.
"Brother stop it! Come back down!"
Sayaka's head shot up at the unfamiliar voice, and looked around. Across the street there was an elementary school girl standing under a tree, looking up with tears streaming down her face.
"Come back down! You're going to get hurt!"
Sayaka then looked up the tree, and saw him. There was a boy, just a little older than the girl who was presumably his little sister, standing on a really high branch. He wasn't just standing on it either, he was dancing and twirling around, laughing like a lunatic.
"You worry too much!" he shouted down with a caustic laugh, not caring one bit for his sister's fearful tears. "I'm not going to fall dummy! See?" Suddenly his knees bent, and he jumped up and did a flip. Then, when his feet landed back on the branch-
Sayaka gasped - he stumbled and she was sure he was about to fall! However, he waved his arms around and regained his balance. His sister went down to her knees and screamed fearfully as she too had thought he was going to fall for sure.
"Woah!" The boy laughed. "That was a close one haha!"
What the hell is that kid doing? Sayaka thought, but then she saw it.
There was a black figure right behind the boy, dancing along with him. Its dark features were obscured only by a white toothy grin… it was a familiar!
Sayaka instantly reached for her SoulGem. That familiar's presence meant this kid was doomed. It probably was controlling him, and forcing him to act so recklessly. It's goal, of course, was for the boy to fall so it could collect his soul, and maybe even feed off the grief of his younger sister!
Sayaka's hand was on her SoulGem, preparing to transform… but she stopped…
Killing that familiar would be spending more of her precious resource. She would get nothing in return for doing that! Only using magic against witches had a chance of giving her a benefit.
Her eyes widened as Kyoko's words flashed through her head. The helpless feeling of fending off that crimson Magical Girl's strikes, that mocking grin, how weak she felt, and the knowledge that she needed to get stronger...
She hesitated...
Why should she sacrifice more of her power to help that boy? She needed it for herself. So why should she-
The boy slipped!
But, by some miracle he managed to cling onto the branch with his upper body, but his legs were dangling and it was clear he did not have the strength to pull himself back up.
Sayaka shook those dark thoughts out of her head and instantly transformed. She summoned a single blade, and threw it. The sword whizzed through the air, and impaled the familiar right through its face, knocking it out of the tree and killing it.
Suddenly the boy's amused laughter changed, and he looked down in terror. "Ah-AHHHHHHH! HELP ME!" he screamed as he clung onto the branch for his life.
With no time to waste, Sayaka ran across the street, she did not even have time to change out of her magical girl costume. "Hang on!" Sayaka shouted. She pulled magic from her SoulGem to give herself more agility, to increase her speed, and she ran at full tilt!
The boy's arms finally gave out and his body slid off the branch - he was falling!
Sayaka could hear both him and his sister screaming, but all her focus was on moving her legs as fast as she could. She jumped in a tackling maneuver, just before the boy hit the ground, and grabbed him in mid air. She spun around before hitting the ground and landed on her back so that all the force would go into her own body. It hurt, but she managed to absorb the momentum as she rolled with the boy tucked under her arms.
"Aaahh…." Sayaka groaned and put a hand on her bruised back and let the crying boy go. "What the hell were you thinking, kid?" She was going to need even more magic to heal that pain afterwards.
"Brother!" The little girl cried as she ran over and put her arms around him. They were both shaking and bawling in eachothers arms.
"I'm sorry!" the boy said to his sister. "I don't know why I did that! I-I just…"
Sayaka sighed as she brushed some dirt off her knees and stood up. She looked around and was partially glad no one else was around besides these two little kids, considering she was in her Magical Girl outfit she looked like she was late for a cosplay convention. She started stepping away, figuring her work here was done, at least.
"Uh- Th-thank you miss!" she heard a small voice behind her. She looked down at the two kids who were now staring up at her. Behind their tears there was an idolizing look in their eyes.
"S-sorry for doing something so reckless!" the boy said, and bowed his head. "Thank you for saving me!"
Sayaka looked down at them. She had moments like this in her head, saving innocent people and having them look up to her with idolization in their eyes. In her fantasies, she would say something cool, act as a role model, then run off to do more heroing somewhere else. But right now… all she felt was guilt.
"You look so cool!" the little girl said. "Are you a superhero?"
Sayaka turned her face away; she couldn't look at them.
She had thought, Why should I waste magic helping him? When she saw he needed help, that's the thought that had entered her mind! Because there was no reward for helping. Because she wanted to conserve her magic. She was going to let an innocent child die for something selfish like that!
"I'm… no hero…" she said, then ran away as fast as she could.
When she made it down the street and into an ally where no one could see her, tears started streaming down her face.
She hesitated… she saw a little boy who was probably going to die, and she hesitated!
She knew he would die if she didn't help, and she considered the option… considered the option of just leaving him to die! Because she wanted to be selfish! Because she did not want to waste magic on saving him!
She felt sick, and put a hand over her mouth as more tears fell from her eyes.
In her mind, she saw Kyoko's mocking grin, and she heard the redhead's speech about the proper way to be a Magical Girl.
No, I'm not like that! Sayaka thought. I'm not like her! I'm a hero!
But in her heart she knew, she was no hero. For all her talk and chistising Kyoko, she was no better… she almost just let that boy die…
-Atomyst
Follow me on twitter- at /Atomyst_fics
