Chapter 8: Two Halves
Present Day
The helicopter landed and Tom jumped out that very second, anxious to confirm Elijah's information. Scared to death of how he, or any of them, would handle disappointment, not after allowing themselves to actually hope.
From the window, Rebecca saw the arrival of the strangers, four men, all armed. One of the men caught her eye far more than the others. He stood out from the rest, by his aura of authority and trust, everything about the man screamed that he was in charge.
It was an older man and woman who first exited the cabin to greet their party, their countenance nervous even though Tom knew their arrival was not unexpected by these people. He supposed it was possible their arrival in a helicopter had been less expected.
Tom barely managed to keep his patience in check as Elijah introduced them all to his old friends, Elena and Jake Evans. He thought he muttered the appropriate greetings at least half heartedly, but as his gaze was torn to the most exceptionally wondrous vision in existence exiting the cabin, he couldn't be sure of what he had actually said.
It was her.
That was all his brain could muster, and it repeated over and over again in his mind. It was her.As Rachel slowly walked towards him, her gaze and countenance as timid as he had never seen her, the other people around them ceased to exist.
He had come here for her, and yet he was still shocked speechless by the reality of her standing before him…alive!
After having not laid eyes on her for so long, he'd be damned if he was going to look away.
Instead of speaking, something he currently questioned his ability to do, he took her in. Her hair was shorter, just skimming her shoulders, she had a small scar on her left temple, she wore a green blouse and jeans and she was barefoot. Yet another way he had never seen her. Though as he thought about it, he realized he did have a vague memory of her with short hair like this…
The dream! I knew you were alive! I just knew in my heart that you were alive, Rachel.
There was a dog standing close to her side; a Labrador. Moving instinctively, Tom took a step forward, but Rachel stepped back, also an instinctive action it would seem if her dear caught in headlight look was any indication.
Rebeca was startled by the intensity she saw the stranger's eyes. He looked at her as if she were the most important person in the world; she also noticed his wedding ring. Was he the man of her dreams? He took another step toward her, but purely on instinct she again recoiled slightly. Fear. Fear of the unknown he represented.
Tom saw the fear in Rachel's eyes. She did not remember them. She was possibly even afraid of him. It hurt, he wanted to run and embrace her and never let her go ever again. But he could not, by the look on her face there was only one way to play this. He had to earn her trust…and her love, all over again. So be it, she was worth it.
With great restraint, Tom extended his hand and politely introduced himself "Thomas Chandler." The polite social action would at least give him the chance to touch her, he reasoned. And also to make sure…he didn't know where that thought had come from exactly, but the part of him that still wasn't completely sure he wasn't seeing the most beautiful mirage imaginable, or was lost back in his dream. A dream that had suddenly decided to become much more real.
She hesitated, but eventually returned the greeting. "Rebecca". She said, and she lifted her hand to his…and they met.
"It's a pleasure to meet you…Rebecca." Rebecca was aware that he took far longer than necessary to release her hand, but for some reason she allowed it, maybe because she was feeling a flow of electric current through their joined fingers.
"I'd like to introduce you to Green, Tex and Burk."
The three men smiled widely at her. They seemed very happy to see her. In that moment she was almost sure that these men did know her. And it was the strangest thing to realize that if that was true, then they knew her far better than she new herself.
"Rebecca, would it be possible for us to speak privately?" The man who introduced himself as Thomas asked.
She was unsure, but the need for answers and also the strange new need to be near this man answered for her. "Yes…"
"Are you sure, Dear?" Elena asked worriedly.
"I need answers, I'll be fine." Rebecca said more confidently.
The others moved off, leaving the pair alone on the front porch.
Well, alone save a very protective dog. Tom approached cautiously and then stroked the animal. "Looks like you found a protector, Duke, right?"
"Yes, he must like you."
Rebecca sat on the bench, Duke at her feet and Tom followed her lead and sat as well, though he chose the single seat across from her instead of the bench beside her he would have preferred.
Rebecca saw him stiffen as he sat, as if in pain. He saw the question in her eyes.
"Old injury." He explained dismissively.
"If it was old it would not cause you such pain." She reasoned, unsure where this instinct to assure herself of his welfare had come from.
"Touché! Some injuries take longer to heal." He smiled.
And with those words she got the distinct impression that he was not talking about his injury.
"You must have questions." He said.
"How can I be sure I'm the one you lost?"
"You are." He declared with confidence.
"You're so sure?"
"I'm that sure." He declared again with utter resolve.
Rebecca decided to accept his surety, for now, and question that point no further. He really did seem so sure… And she did not believe she detected any deceit in the man or his pronouncement.
"Do I have a family?"
"Umm…your parents are dead, and you aren't married, you don't' have any children…" Tom really wished he was sharing better news, only as he spoke did he realize how unappealing the life he was asking her to return to sounded on the surface. He would have to find a way to show her under that surface. "Rebecca was actually your Mother's name. I think you do not have your memories to some degree, maybe you can't access them most of the time, but they are still there."
Rebecca felt a warm sensation in her chest to know that she had chosen her mother's name and her own. Quickly followed by a much colder sensation upon realised that the unknown woman was dead. Still, Rebecca had been the name that had been most familiar to her when she had desperately gone mentally searching for a name.
And of course Rebecca couldn't prevent her desolation at the confirmation of what she had already ascertained from his polite and formal manner towards her.
He is not my husband… She wasn't surprised, but still, when she had seen the ring and felt the attraction, she had hoped that that be the way of it. But no, instead he was another woman's husband.
"So no one misses me." She said allowed.
"That's not true! You're part of our family. You have friends, many many friends and even many others who don't even know you but will be delighted to hear that you are alive and safe. " And me, you have me, he wanted to say.
It was too painful, she had hoped for so much more only to hear that she had 'friends' The huge let down that was the revelation of her family, or lack thereof, was too painful, so she moved them on. "Who am I? What do I do?"
"Your name is Rachel Scott, Doctor Rachel Scott, you're a virologist. You found the cure for the disease that devastated the world. You worked on the Nathan James, the ship I commanded.
"We were allies, then." She absorbed the information.
We will be more than that, Tom thought.
"Yes, my job was to protect you so that you could develop the cure. You were the brains and I was the brawn."
And for the first time she did doubt his words, though she thought the lie was more self effacing, rather than nefarious in nature. No one came to the position he occupied who wasn't intelligent and skilled in their field.
Tom saw her skepticism, he figured it was regarding her saving the world. Little did he know she was far more interested, at the present moment, in him, and a lot less so in herself or the rest of the world.
"You are one of the best in your field, no, I take back what I said; you are the best in your field."
"Probably because everyone else is dead."
"Rachel ... sorry, Rebecca…" It was hard for him to look into her beautiful eyes and call her by any other name than the name he had come to love for its connection to the woman he loved. "There are millions of people across this globe who owe their lives to you, Rebecca. Starting with me, my family, the crew of my ship, and the citizens of St. Louis. I can get you testimonials from all of those people, if you won't believe me."
"Millions of testimonials?" She was more than a little skeptical of his claim and she thought her tone easily conveyed that, but he didn't bite, just proceeded to answer her question completely seriously.
"I commanded more than two hundred men and women on the ship you basically commandeered on your personal crusade to save the world. Your mission to bring the cure to the world, a mission the men and woman on my vessel watched you rigorously pursue and then achieve. You could start with them." She realized he really was serious.
The woman of whom he spoke of, he spoke of with admiration, respect and something else Rebecca could not quite identify. She did not know if she could live in the shadow of this person…this apparently miraculous person this man somehow believed her to be. Rebecca didn't even know the man in front of her, but she already did not want to disappoint him.
"You want me to come back with you." Rebecca surmised. It was far more a statement that a question, but Tom answered her nonetheless.
"Yes, it is safer for you." He spoke emphatically. He did not even want to imagine the terrible possibility of having to leave her again having only just found her. Even the idea of her leaving his sight for a moment was less than palatable to his somersaulting stomach.
"I've been here for over two months, nothing has happened to me, no one has come." It was probably no mystery to either of them the type of people who might come, the ones that had so grievously injured her to start with.
Part of Rebecca wanted to ask him about them, about what he knew of what had been done to her and by whom and why. But she was scared, a large part of her did not want to hear his answers. That part of her was only too happy for that particular time from her forgotten history to stay exactly that way. She reasoned, she was not at all sure she wanted to give up the small amount of familiarity and safety she had been lucky enough to find in a world that was wholly unfamiliar to her and she knew, also very unsafe.
"Only because everybody thought that you were dead, I'm afraid it might already be too late to keep this news from getting out. It is the biggest news since you created the cure, since you were killed! In fact, pretty much all the biggest news items of recent times have centered around you! There is just no possibly that your return from the dead can be ignored. Rachel, sorry…Rebecca…the woman I know would want answers, would want her life back, would want to continue to fulfil her mission, continue to help people, and Rebecca…just knowledge of your survival, seeing you alive again, that gift alone with help and give hope to so many people."
His speech did absolutely nothing to allay her concerns, in fact, she was now more sure than ever that there was simply no way that she, Rebecca, could possibly fill the shoes of the woman all these people seemed to desperately believe her to be.
She was afraid, deathly afraid that there was literally no chance she could meet their expectations and therefore absolutely no reason for her to leave the safety of the warm cocoon of caring and love she had been gifted here in this place. She answered him stubbornly, unknowingly giving him a large glimpse into 'his' Rachel.
"Well I don't believe you. I don't believe I was or could possibly fill the shoes of this woman you are describing. You say this woman died. I think that is the real truth of the matter…regardless if the reality is the I now inhabit her body…she is still dead and gone. For I am not, nor will I ever again be, her. It sounds like you are looking for a saint, Thomas Chandler, I suggest you look elsewhere for I am not who and what you are looking for."
Tom struggled to maintain his frustration and his anger, despite her entire countenance having shifted to the very familiar sometimes opponent he had oft battled with most enjoyably during their long and trying mission together. "Denying the truth will not change who you are. You are Doctor Rachel Scott!" He said decisively, no longer able to continue the charade of calling her the name that did nothing now but allow her to hide from who she truly was.
Rebecca lost her temper and began shouting, it was doubtless that it was fear that was motivating her anger. But fear, especially for one in her unique position, was an eminently powerful force. "My name is Rebecca! I don't know you or your friends, and I am not going back!" She yelled, emphasizing the last word.
Duke was becoming restless at her side, easily picking up on his mistresses distress, even before the volume of her voice rose, he had started to eye Tom more as an opponent rather than the friend of his humans he had originally been introduced as.
Tom lost his temper too, they were screaming at each other now. "Exactly! Back, Rachel! Back! Even your subconscious acknowledges that back with me is where you came from originally! Rachel, please! We thought you were dead. It's been over two months! We thought you had burned to death horribly in that accident, we buried you, or we thought we had." I'll find out how they made this mistake! He silently promised himself. "You simply cannot stay here any longer, you will not stay here any longer, it's just not safe for you."
Rebecca was now boiling with anger. Anger aimed squarely at the demanding and self righteous man in front of her. "Who do you think you are?"
"God! Why do you always have to be so stubborn, Rachel?" He ran an exasperated hand through his silver hair.
"I'm stubborn? You're the one who waltzes in here, a perfect stranger to me, and demands that I have no other choice than to do exactly what you say!"
LSLSLS
Those who had left them alone earlier, still easily heard every shouted word of the increasingly intense debate.
Jake wanted to interfere, but with confusion noticed that the soldiers were barely suppressing laughs, as if the situation was extremely comical to them, pleasantly nostalgic even.
Burk was the first to notice the other mans distress at what they were hearing. "You don't have to worry, sir, the Admiral would never hurt Dr. Scott."
Green continued to explain. "They often argue, Sir, it is a common behavior for them. They are actually very close and trust and care about each other deeply, it is just that they are both...umm…"
"Stubborn as mules!" Tex provided, having no problem saying the words that Green could not pronounce, not when talking about a superior officer…or a highly respected friend and lady.
"Don't worry," Tex continued, smiling. "If he really gets her going it will be him that needs our protection, not her."
Elijah could see that his old friend was not completely put at ease by these strangers reassurances. "Don't worry, Jake. Thomas Chandler is a good man." Elijah said simply.
Elijah could see that the venerated and previously parentless Dr. Rachel Scott had collected a new set of parental figures during her absence from them. And he had the thought that Admiral Chandler had better watch his back. He could easily see that his friends could become some pretty damn fierce opponents if they thought anyone was hurting their newly adopted little chick.
Elena saw the way the Admiral had looked at their Rebecca, it was the look of a man who had had his greatest wish fulfilled. To have his lost love miraculously returned to him. And his soldiers spoke of him with respect and admiration. To begin with, that was enough for Elena to decide to support this man in his attempts to reclaim what was just within his grasps, but also just out of reach.
"You care about her." She stated, to no anyone in particular, but all these strange men combined.
"Yes, ma'am, she is part of our family." Green answered, the others shared agreements and similar sentiments.
LSLSLS
Tom watched Rachel ... angry, defiant, stubborn, her eyes shining. She was ready to fight. God, she was beautiful! No words could express how happy he was to see her like that again. Obviously he would enjoy it if she were not angry at him too, he longer to hold her in his arms again, but right now he would take what he could get. And there was certainly plenty about her current demeanour that offered him fond remembrances of what he had come to love about this woman.
Rebecca was ready to hit this stupid, stupid, arrogant man...but a strange thing happened, he started smiling at her. The sweetest smile spread across his face, and she instantly forgot her rage. And for some reason his smile left her weak at the knees and made her heart start to beat faster in the chest.
"What's funny? She asked suspiciously.
"Nothing, Rachel. Sometimes we disagree, sometimes we fight, we can both be very stubborn when we think we are right. This is just like old times for me, some very fondly remembered old times." It was time for a more diplomatic approach. Tom thought.
"I thought we were allies." She questioned, still suspicious of the sudden change in him, and the treasonous reaction of her body to that change.
"Just because we have disagreed in the past, heatedly, does not automatically mean we are not allies. Quite the contrary, it only means that we have had different points of view at times in the past…and have shared them with each other…passionately." He spoke that last word with a heat that communicated that she was free to interrupt them a more primal way as well.
"Doesn't sound like a very feasible alliance. I get the feeling that you do not like to lose an argument."
"You're right, I don't, but neither do you. In fact, I would have to say that we are quite equally matched in the area of our fervour for what we believe in. You have always been most worthy an opponent in our heated debates…for those short times when we were at odds that is. But that was not the way of it most of the time, most of the time we were indeed on the same page, supporting each other, and even when we weren't we always got the job done and ended as friends again…all the better friends, I have always thought, for the trails we endured and vanquished…together."
'Rachel' was thoughtful for several long moments. "And yet we are at an impasse here, Admiral…I did not accept your demands now, and as such I will no acquiesce to them."
"Call me Tom." He corrected, not acknowledging her repeated refusal of what had to be done this day. Bringing her home.
"Admiral, did you hear me…"
"It's Tom or Chandler if you must, you are not one of my soldiers."
"Admiral ..." She repeated, stubborn to the last.
Fearing the battle could be lost, an completely unacceptable outcome, Tom threw everything he had into a last ditch effort to convince her to trust him in this moment and in this all important matter. So he begged, he got down on his knees in front of her, nearly eye level with her dog that was eyeing him with clear caution, lest he upset his mistress again, and he begged her.
"Rachel, please. I acknowledge that it is up to you to decide, of course, I was wrong to demand before, I apologize. I know you don't know and remember me as I know and remember you, and I know things must be so confusing for you right now, but I beg you, I beg you, please! Please come back with us, back with me. I could not bear it if something happened to you after we had only just been granted the miracle of your survival. It would be beyond devastating for so many people. And it is a real possibility Rachel. You are a celebrity, that means many many people love and adore you, but with great fame also comes the attentions of a small number of less desirable people as well…"
Tom paused, he hated this, not the begging, he couldn't care less how much he had to debase himself before only her if it made her safer, he couldn't care at all. What he hated was the direction he was going, the tact he was using. The last thing he wanted was to scare her into returning with him, or worse walking the line of the emotional blackmail path that had the potential to be the death knell for their not-yet relationship. But he felt he had little choice, and every word he spoke was in fact the truth, he hoped that fact would protect him when the time came.
"Rachel, these people, these few but very dangerous people, they are members of a group that were the ones to hurt you to begin with and if they learn of your survival, and especially your location out here isolated and virtually unprotected…I very much fear they could come for you again. And Rachel…if they did…they would find your new friends as well…" there he had done it, most likely won the argument, obtained the best chance for her continued safety, but possibly damaged their relationship once again, not that she remembered why that would be yet…
He could see the knowledge wash over her mind, he could see the fear. Though he instinctively knew that the fear reaction was far more for her new friends that it was for herself. It was just who she was. He continued. "I know its scary, I will do everything I can to make it less so for you. The Doctors may want to do some tests, to make sure you are healed, to see if anything can be done to help you retrieve your memories, but I will be with you the whole way…if you want that…or if you don't, well I will still be very close, there is no helping that. I don't think I am going to be very good at letting you out of my sight for a while…a good long while actually. Please come with us, I will make sure you will have no reason to regret it, I promise you, Rachel."
'Rachel' was somewhat stunned, she did not speak for several moments. She just gazed into his pleading depths…and thought. What if he was right? What if she was putting people in danger by stubbornly staying out of her only personal fear? She did feel like she could trust him, it was a deep and unclear instinct in her gut, but still it told her she could. And she did at least have some actual evidence that said she could trust him. Her very good friend's very good friend had vouched for the man kneeling before her. All evidence was that he was who he said he was and this was no scam. Which would also mean that she was who he said she was too… An extremely surreal thought, based on the super woman like picture he had painted of her.
Something else she knew was that the man before her was absolutely not accustomed to begging, but he was doing it for her anyway, and completely unashamedly. That fact, added to the other, helped her come to her decision and feel confident in it, or at least as confident as she was going to get anytime soon…
LSLSLS
"She agreed to go back with us!" Tom informed the others, emerging and smiling victoriously, as if from battle.
And the three men who had accompanied him cheered as if his words really did indicate a war victory won.
LSLSLS
Rebecca was in the bedroom packing her things to leave when Elena sought her out and entered.
"What do you think of the Admiral? Once you got past the urge to strangle him I mean."
She smiled and they both laughed.
"He seems like a good man, though a little authoritarian for my liking."
"But he isn't always so, is he? I don't think you would be packing right now if he had merely ordered you to do so?" Elena questioned knowingly, despite not having been able to hear what had been said when they weren't yelling at each other, she had a fair idea that the tone of the conversation had turned quite drastically to cause such a drastic change in her friend.
"No, no…he…he…he got down on his knees and begged me to come with him, he basically said he couldn't bare to be separated form me again."
Elena raised an eyebrow, her question clear.
"He's married, Elena. In addition, he is not my type." Because he couldn't be, she spoke and thought resolutely. And if she repeated that enough times to herself, she might just be able to make herself beehive it.
"Rebecca…should I still be calling you Rebecca? Or would you prefer Rachel now?" Elena questioned, genuinely not minding, just wanting to know what her dear friend preferred.
Rachel/Rebecca didn't hesitate. "You may call be Rebecca for as long as you wish, Elena, but from now on I doubt many others will. I don't think anyone else is going to let me hide behind Rebecca anymore…they all want me to be this Rachel Scott…desperately it would seem. I really don't know that I can live up to all they want of me. This woman they believe me to be, she sounds amazing…how can that be me, Elena?"
"Ok, Rebecca, I call BS on that first part, Thomas Chandler is every woman type of man."
"Elena!" She exclaimed, shocked at her friends directness.
"What? I'm married, but I'm not dead, honey. By the way, I noticed the ring too, it was most at odds with the way he was looking at you so I asked Elijah. He's a widower.
Rebecca/Rachel….Rachel, Rachel, she should start thinking of herself as Rachel. Lord knew, where she had agreed to go everyone else was going to. Rachel could not pretend that the information that Elena had obtained for her wasn't…interesting…but still. "It doesn't matter, Elena, if he still wears the ring then he still feels married and therefore there can't be or have been anything between us, I, and apparently you as well, are imagining it. He was obviously just happy to find me alive, that was all his enthusiasm was.
"The way he looked at you was fiercely protective, Rebecca, very intense, if you know what I mean. It is not the look of a man who feels married, not at all."
Rachel could admit, to herself, that she wanted Elena to be right, but after so many months of disappointment she dared not let that want turn into a real hope. Though she remembered what she felt at his first touch…based on just that if he told her that she had been the one to put that wedding ring on his finger she would have believed him. But it wasn't so, another woman had done that, another woman he was most likely still holding dear in his heart.
She shook her head to clear those thoughts. Her survival instincts that had gotten her this far was screaming at her not to set herself up for such a large fall, for she feared she could not readily survive it in her present state. "He told me I'm the brains of the operation, he probably considers me a valuable resource or something, not that I know what he possibly thinks I'm going to be able to contribute in my current state… But anyway, my life is already confusing enough without a man in the equation."
Elena didn't believe her friend for a second but she ignored the lie of self protection and spoke reassuringly. "You'll be fine, you have friends. Many friends by the sounds of it. And I don't very a second believe you incapable of filling the shoes of the amazing woman they have described, quite the contrary, I find their descriptions very apt."
Silence passed between he two woman for several moments.
"She's right, but don't feel you have to go with them, Rebecca, you can still stay here with us. I'll protect you from them if you really don't want to go." Jake said. The pair had not noticed his arrival.
In reality Rachel knew that Jake would not be capable of any such thing if these people really had the desire to take her by force, but luckily it was not the case. "Thank you Jake, but I believe I should go with them, I believe it is time. While a part of me likes the idea of hiding from the world forever here with you both, the problem is that is exactly what it would be; hiding. I can't hide anymore."
She smiled warmly at both her friends who had really become like surrogate patents to her during her recovery.
"I'll never be able to thank either of you enough what did you did for me. You saved my life…and made me actually want to live again."
Neither Jake nor Elena spoke, they just nodded and smiled, both warmly and sadly. They were both sad to see her go, all three sets of eyes shone with unshed tears.
Rachel stroked the dog, letting him lick her face. "Goodbye my friend."
"You'll be fine, they'll take care of you, I can see it in all of them. They love you and they will protect you with their lives." Said Elena looking at the men who were waiting for her near the helicopter, having retreating to allow her to say her private goodbyes.
"Remember, you can always come back, you will always be welcomed back here with open arms." Said Jake wholeheartedly, his wife nodded in vigorous agreement.
Rachel hugged them both, a few tears falling.
"We will see each other again, soon, we will make sure of it." She assured them and also vowed to herself to make it so.
Now both husband and wife nodded vigorously in agreement, losing their own battles of shedding tears. Not that Elena was actually trying to stop her reaction to the both sad and happy events, but her husband was. Of course tears were just not 'manly'. Showed what the world knew, for it took great strength to know and feel ones own emotions, and not suppress them.
With effort 'Rachel' turned, picked up her small bag, and made her way quickly to the helicopter and the waiting men, afraid that if she dallied too long, she would lose her nerve.
"It is good to have you back, Doc." Said the man named Tex. Others smiled in agreement.
"Thank you." She answered shyly, the familiar attention from all the men, especially the more familiar look in this Tex's eyes, was still strange to her. But she thought she had better get used to it, people acting as though they knew her far better then she knew then. By all accounts, she was about to be taken to a place where that was likely to be the case with every person she met!
He was the one that offered his hand to her to help her into the helicopter, she accepted and Rachel could feel that feeling again, when he touched her fingers.
He's a married man, she scolded herself. Widower, whispered a rebellious little voice in her head.
The noise of the helicopter taking flight prevented further conversation, and while Rachel still has an immeasurable number of questions, she was glad of it. She vowed to use this short time to mentally prepare herself for the emotionally taxing ordeal that she knew was to come. That she knew was inevitable, whichever way things went…
TBC
