Chapter 16 - One Step Back


He passed her a sandwich, she unwrapped it, and took a bite, making a sound of approval. He seemed pleased with himself as he just watched her eat, his own sandwich untouched on the table. Occasionally they shared a meal at his office or in her laboratory. Today he looked worn out, dark circles under his eyes and stress lines marring his face.

The job demanded a lot from him and being a single father doesn't make things easy either. She wondered if he had already talked to Ashley about her mother. The girl was having some difficulties with their relationship.

"What do you remember about your mother?" Ashley asked.

Rachel looked at the girl and realized that the answer seemed important to her.

"My mother?" Rachel said. "When I had no memories of who I was, subconsciously I chose the name Rebecca, that was her name. I remember her smile, the perfume she wore, the sense of security when she'd hug me. I kept her Bible, because it contains her handwriting on the first page. This bracelet was hers." Rachel finished speaking with tears in her eyes.

"Sorry." Ashley said.

"It's all right Ashley, talking about my mother is not painful it's that I …"

"You miss her." Ashley finished the sentence.

"Yes…" Rachel smiled.

"Weren't you afraid that you would forget her?"

Rachel remembered the contradictory feelings when her mother died. Feelings of loneliness and emptiness, denial, sadness, anger, guilt...

"I lost my mother a long time when I was 9 years old, but her presence is still very strong in my life. Don't worry, Ashley, the good memories will take the place of the pain and anger."

"Anger?" Ashley asked.

"When you lose someone you love, there are mixed feelings… When my mother died, I was sad and then very angry with her. I thought if she loved me, she would have fought harder to stay, that somehow, she had abandoned me, betrayed me when she died. Then, I was angry with myself for thinking this of my mother. It doesn't make much sense, I know."

"That makes sense," Ashley murmured. "How did she die?"

"She became sick with a disease called malaria," Rachel responds.

"Malaria?"

"Malaria is entirely preventable and when diagnosed early, it's treatable. In the case of my mother there were some complications," Rachel said sadly.

Complications that go by the name of Stephen Scott. Her father prevented the treatment of mother, Rachel thought.

"I don't want another mother."

"Ashley I'm not trying to take your mother's place."

"But you like my dad."

"Yes, but your mother occupies a place in your father's heart which is hers alone. Nobody can change that."

"But she is dead."

It hurt to see such sadness in the girl's eyes.

"Even though she's not physically here anymore. In your father's heart, she will always have a special place. She lives in his memories; she lives in you two."

"It's not enough, it's not the same thing."

"You need to talk to your father about how you feel."

"No, please don't say anything to him. Rachel, please..."

"I won't say anything, I promise."

But maybe she should talk to Jed about it. It's a lot for a girl to carry alone.

"My father likes you and you make him happy. When you came back, he smiled again. I want my dad to be happy..."

"But you would also like to have your mother back," Rachel finished her thought.

Ashley gave a slight nod.

A few minutes later, Jed was back in the room with Sam and the conversation was over.

It had only been three days. But she feels a certain urgency to do something, to help in some way.

That conversation brought to the front row the questions she has preferred to ignore. The kisses, the soft touches, the occasional flirtations, the conversations in her laboratory late at night, sharing meals with his family. She can handle it. It is good and comfortable. But thinking about the future of the relationship worries her. Being honest with herself terrifies her. There is something that holds her captive, preventing her from taking another step in their relationship.

Fear. Fear for what lurks in the shadows of her past.

Her work had brought her to Tom. Their mission together, a mission she still doesn't remember. Why did her subconscious insist on not revealing to her what had happened? What was so painful about her memories that she was afraid to remember? Perhaps the wisest thing was to take a step back.

Her eyes were soft as she stared up at him. "You're tired."

The President had returned to Washington, the country's capital could not be empty any longer. But both face-to-face and online meetings were quite frequent.

"I need a bath, aspirin and a good night's sleep, but they will have to wait, I have a meeting in about 40 minutes," he replied, glancing at his watch.

"You are the boss, postpone it."

He laughed at the way she said it. She would be an excellent general. "I'm not above the President, honey."

"Medical issues exceed presidential orders. And I'm saying that you should rest."

"As much as I'd love to accept your request, I can't."

"You should eat," she persisted.

"Yes, Ma'am," was his only reply, aside from the smile on his face.

She wiped her mouth with her napkin, watching with satisfaction as he devoured his own sandwich.

What he did to deserve to have her back, he doesn't know. He is grateful every day for this miracle. He needs to keep a promise he made to her. But to be honest with himself, he doesn't want to do it. He was concerned that training with a weapon could become a trigger for other memories. He wanted her to remember but feared it in equal measure. Bad things had happened. He does not want to cause her any more pain.

"I've been very busy for the past few weeks. I didn't give up ok," he said. His excuses haven't really gotten any better, he thinks. "I just need a little more time…I…" He's searching for better words when she speaks.

"Okay."

He looked taken aback, he obviously expected another reaction from her. "I didn't expect you to give up so easily."

"I didn't give up," she said, removing her glasses, "I'm still training with Veronica."

"How's that training going?"

"As if you didn't know!"

She took on the task with an obstinate focus. She's getting damn good.

"I would like to hear from you."

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Five Weeks Before

"You are doing well," Veronica said when they had finished another training session. Rachel was nothing more than persevering in her efforts, accepting nothing less than the best. The challenge is to make the woman slow down.

Veronica is highly trained in defensive combat, with the patience needed to pass on knowledge to a layman. Rachel took a sip of water before responding. "If you say so. Now all that remains is for Tom to keep his promise."

"He's been very busy, Rachel."

Rachel sits down on the training mat and leans her back against the wall. Veronica followed suit, sitting in front of her. "He's been trying to distract me, but..."

A flicker of amusement crossed Veronica's face. "Distracting you, hmm? How?"

Rachel huffed. "It's not like that! He's only making excuses, that all."

He's hiding something from me, everyone is.

Veronica looked unconvinced, but didn't press.

Rachel likes to be in his arms, the way his hands rub lazy circles over her upper back. The whispered words in her ear. And above all, she enjoys every minute of his kisses, it almost makes her forget everything. Almost.

"All the soldiers I asked for help, including you, offered me a lousy excuse to refuse my request."

"No man or woman is so foolish as to lust for death."

"Tom would never hurt one of his own," she says with absolute conviction.

"No, he wouldn't, but it doesn't mean we don't fear his reaction, everyone here knows how important you are to him."

Maybe people should think about what is important for her. She's capable of taking care of herself; she's never had much of a choice, in any case. The memories she has of childhood make her reluctant to leave decisions about her life in the hands of others.

She has been thinking about who she could ask for help. Who is above Tom in the chain of command? Or maybe she's thinking about it from the wrong angle. Whoever is not in the chain of command, likes her and therefore would not reject a request from her. Would he say no? She thinks she knows the answer to that question, she just needs to test her theory.

"Earth calling Rachel Scott."

"I'm sorry, I was just thinking about how to solve this," she said.

"And?"

"I need to test the validity of a theory."

Veronica watched her curiously. "What I wouldn't give to know what goes on inside that head of yours."

Rachel stood up. "I'm glad you can't."

"What are you planning?"

Rachel smirked at her over her shoulder. "If I had planned something, I wouldn't tell you."

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"I got the help I needed; I couldn't be happier with the result." A small smile tugged at the corners of Rachel's lips and she had to bite back a laugh. If you only knew. Then she added. "it's always good to learn from someone more experienced."

The answer seems innocent and perfectly reasonable. Then why does he feel that there is more going on that he is not aware of?

He stared at her, tilting his head to the side as if studying her. "Are we talking about the same thing?"

"I'm working hard to learn how to defend myself," she said, "yes, we are talking about the same thing."

She was hiding something, that was obvious.

"There's more, isn't there?"

She couldn't help her smile. Tom's interest sharpened.

"Hmmm," he said thoughtfully and planted his hands on either side of her chair. "What can I do for you to tell me?"

"Nothing!"

He leaned forward until his mouth was right next to her ear. Still, Rachael's breathing hasn't even wavered. "Are you sure?"

"You could try," she said, looking quite sure of herself. "But you're going to fail."

There's that small smile melting into his voice. "You know how much I love a good challenge, honey."

She felt her heart rate pick up a little bit, just a bit. Nothing she couldn't control. He allowed the silence to stretch between them. Swallowing hard, she held his gaze as he leaned a little closer, then his teeth grazed her earlobe. Although her traitorous body shuddered at the slight contact, she refused to make any sound.

His eyes narrowed in satisfaction as he realized that her defenses were weakening. "Surrender can be extremely… satisfactory," he said, kissed softly the spot where her neck and shoulder joined.

She sighed

He smiled against her skin, and immediately felt that he had made a mistake when she placed her hands over his chest and pushed him away, placing distance between them.

"There will be no surrender today, sailor," she said. His heart rate was high. He was also affected; he was just better at hiding it.

"So… " he said, his lips twitching. "You mean I can try tomorrow?"

She would like to wipe that smug smile off his face. Make him shut up. But the method she has in mind will only get her into more trouble.

His cellphone chose that moment to ring, the sharp tone biting into the silence. He answered without taking his eyes off her. His expression changed from smug to puzzled as he spoke to the other person on the other end of the line.

"Problems?" she asked.

"No, it's just my dad telling me that the babysitter has arrived," he said, "He has a date tonight."

A small smile curved her lips. "And is it bothering you, why?"

"He has not been interested in anyone since my mother died, and now he's acting all weird, getting phones from a mysterious woman, I've heard, I got plans, more times than I can count in the past few weeks … and now this."

"How do you know that is a woman?"

"He was all soft and kind on the phone, calling her my dear." She raised a quizzical eyebrow, and he felt the need to explain himself, "I wasn't snooping," he said uncomfortably. "I couldn't help overhearing and I was just… curious."

A chuckle escaping her lips. "You know what I think," she said, a hint of mischief in her voice. "That you are jealous of your father, Thomas Chandler."

"I am not," he replies, looking definitely insulted.

She laughed outright at that. "He's a good man, charming, kind, any woman could…"

"Stop, I don't want to hear the rest of what you have to say," he says, and for a moment she had the distinct impression that he would put his hands over his ears. "I definitely don't want to discuss my dad's love life." His father and a woman. He had to physically shake his head to get rid of the thought. "Ready to pick up where we left off?"

"That ship has sailed, Tom," she said, "I have work waiting for me in the lab, and you..."

As if in the suggestion, his phone rings again.

His posture became more tense as he listened. It was work-related. No doubt about it. Soldier-mode. His whole posture changed, as if he were ready for a fight.

"I have to go," he says, his hands slid around her back, pulling her closer,as hers slid up his chest to wrap behind his neck.

"Duty calls, I know," she said, "you become frighteningly intense."

"Frighteningly intense, huh?" he drawled.

She gave him an amused but somehow still scolding look. "Not for me. You know I could kick your butt, Admiral Chandler."

He laughed and leaned down to kiss her. She melts in his arms, leaning up even more as his tongue strokes over hers, all need and adoration.

She is the first one to break away.

"See you when I see you," she said.

He could have sworn that she added a little extra swing to her hips as she walked away.

He smiled and went back to work. Life was never monotonous with her around.

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He had received a call from the school saying that his daughter had gotten into a fight with another girl.

"Where is she?"

"Bedroom."

"Hey, honey," he says, sitting on his daughter's bed.

"Hey, dad." She looked at him looking sorry and ashamed and then bowed her head.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"There's this girl, Lindsay, she said things...things about you and Rachel."

"What kind of things?"

"She said... she said that you kept Rachel warm on those lonely nights, that you were having an affair during the mission..."

He saw red, but forced himself to calm down. It didn't look like something a child would have said, it looked more like something an adult said and the child had repeated it. He would have a conversation with the child's parents.

"I screamed it was a lie, that you would never do anything like that, that you loved mom, she and her friends were there laughing at me and she said that soon you will be married and I will have a new mother and then I spilled my juice on her head and she attacked me and I just defended myself. "

"Honey, she had no right to say those things, but we don't work things out by hitting people."

"I know, sorry, dad."

"Is there anything else you want to tell me?"

"I already lost my mom," she said, lifting her head to look at him. "I...I can't lose you too!"

"Honey, I'm not going anywhere."

"Do you like Rachel more than you liked my mother?"

So this is what it was about. Could his daughter be jealous? She seemed to be handling his relationship with Rachel well. Or was she just saying what he wanted to hear? Ashley was too mature for her age that he sometimes forgot that she was just a child.

"Ashley!" Tom gently held his daughter's face and looked into her eyes. "You and your brother are very important to me, I love you two both, nothing and no one can change it. Do you understand me?"

"Yes..."

"Good!" He gave a big sigh. "Darien will always be important to me, honey, I loved her so much..." then without warning some memories flooded his mind. His throat constricted and unshed tears stung his eyes. He tried to speak again, but lost the battle and let the tears flow freely.

"You're crying," she said surprised, running a hand on his face. "Is it my fault?''

"No, it's not your fault. The fact that I am dating does not mean I forgot Darien or stopped grieving my loss of her."

"But you don't show it, " she said almost accusingly. .

"Forgive me, Ashley; your father can be an idiot sometimes," he said. "Not showing it doesn't mean that I don't feel it, you know. You can always talk to me about your mother. Always."

"I don't want to cause you pain, Dad, you're happy now."

"It's okay to remember, to cry when we miss her."

"Why did she have to die?" she said, trying to hold back from crying..

"Oh, baby!" He lifted her onto his lap and held her close. She buried her head on his chest and cried freely.

After a few minutes she sniffed at his coat and looked up to find his eyes equally wet.

"Better?"

She nodded her head in confirmation.

"Sometimes I get angry with my mom, but Rachel said it's normal, that she was also like that when her mother died. Did you know that her mother died when she was nine years old because of a disease called malaria?

"No..." There is a lot he doesn't know about her. In many aspects, Rachel Scott was still a mystery. But one thing is for sure she never fails to surprise him.

"Are you going to get married?"

"We are dating, but it is still too early to think about marriage."

"I like her, she makes you happy and she understands that I don't want another mother."

"You talked a lot, huh?" he said. "Listen to me, baby, unfortunately I am not as good as your mother, so you will have to tell me when something bothers you, can you do this?"

"Yes, Dad."

"Love you," he said, kissing the top of her head. "And you are grounded."

"It's not fair, I didn't start it."

Life is not fair Ashley, he thinks as he heads to his son's room.

He entered his son's room, the boy was sprawled on the bed, his action figures spread across the surface. The puppy Sky was left at the foot of the bed, his head just lifted up when he saw him come in, then settled into his original position.

"Hey, buddy."

"Am I grounded too?" he asked, putting his head on his father's lap.

"Did you do something wrong?" he asked, stroking his son's hair.

"Nope."

"Do you want to talk about your mother?"

"I miss my mom. I dream of her sometimes, the way she was before… you know, before the disease. Dad... you will not go away, right?"

"No, Sam I will stay. I'm not going anywhere."

"You promise me?" Sam asked anxiously.

"I promise, Sam."

His son looks at him with big trusting eyes. "Okay, Dad."

Tom knew he could not offer guarantees. They were at war, the world was a dangerous place, his enemies were lurking. Sam did not know of this and accepted his father's word with confidence and innocence that only a child could.

"Are you and Rachel going to have kids?"

"It's too early to think about it, we're just dating."

"But when you do, I prefer a brother," he considered it for a moment and then added. "If you can't ask her, I can ask for you, she likes me."

"This will not be necessary," Tom said a small smile on his face. Perhaps for being younger, his son was more adaptable to the changes. His children are something else. He wouldn't change anything about them.

"Love you, Sam," Tom said, hugging his son.

Sam replied with a smile that warmed his heart.

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Later That Night…

"You knew there was something wrong," Tom said. "That's what you've been trying to talk to me all week."

"I realized that she was upset about something. If it makes you feel better, I only realized what it was when someone told me."

"Rachel!" Jed raised his eyebrows. "Ashley talked to her. It looks like they have some things in common And NO, it doesn't make me feel better, the opposite in fact."

His children had to deal with the pain of losing their mother, and he was not there when they needed him most. He had failed his wife, failing his children is not an option. He loves Rachel, he doesn't regret being with her. But he can't help but wonder if the rumors bother him so much because there is some truth in them. He was attracted to her. He recalled their first kiss. That kiss made him feel things that a married man shouldn't feel, the urge to pull her into his arms had been strong, but the handcuffs were in the way, he had felt something more, a certain despair on her part, and something in her tongue.

"What is tormenting you, besides the obvious of course?"

Tom bows his head and exhales a heavy breath. "During the mission there were many unknowns and a certainty. Dr. Rachel Scott was our most valuable asset and it was my duty to protect her."

Jed smiled.

"Knight in shining armor," Jed said. "Why do I get the impression that it didn't work very well?"

"No, it didn't work, instead I became the damsel in distress."

The crew had been instructed not to comment on what had happened during the mission, to prevent any harmful information from slipping and reaching Rachel's ears.

"Okay, you've got my attention."

"I was captured by the Russians and she was used as bait to facilitate my rescue operation. She should give me a blade and a note. The method she chose to fulfill this mission, in particular, was kissing me… passionately. I liked it, much more than a married man should."

"If before I thought she was a surprising woman, now knowing that she helped save your life in a rescue mission. I would give a medal to her, forget this, I would give a box full of them."

"You're missing the point, Dad. She kissed me and I liked it."

"She is a beautiful woman; you would have to be a stone not to feel anything while she was kissing you. What is really worrying you?"

Rachel is so much more than her looks.

"I loved Darien, but that kiss ignited a spark, made me aware of the attraction I felt. I was obviously the wrong man for her. But now I can't help wondering if I'm still the wrong man. I honestly don't know what to do, Dad, I love Rachel, but maybe my being a father is more important now, and the man has to wait."

"You can't separate the two, Tom, the key here is balance."

"Apparently I suck when it comes to balancing family, work and dating."

"Most of us are, but as your mother used to say, if you want something, make it happen."

"I never thought how hard it must have been for you after my mother died. Is that why you didn't remarry?"

"My situation was different, you were adults, and I had no interest in investing in another long-term relationship. Age does make us wiser and cautious about things of the heart. "

"She must be very special to change your mind. When will I meet her?"

"It's late," Jed said, getting up from the chair. "You, my son look like shit, you need a good night's sleep."

"Running away, old man?" Tom taunted.

"Night, Tom."

"Night, Dad."

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Next morning

"Did you know about the rumors?"

"The one where we had a torrid romance aboard the Nathan James? Yes, I had heard about it."

"Shit! Why didn't you tell me anything?"

"Because it's not true. There wasn't that kind of intimacy between us before, you were categorical in denying it. And I believe in you."

"No matter their truth, these rumors have reached my children. It made Ashley insecure, made her fight trying to defend myself."

"Not just her. It made you wonder if we're not going too fast right?"

"Yes," he admitted sincerely. Then he hurried to explain himself. "I have no doubts about how I feel about you, I just need to learn to communicate better with my children."

Tom loves her. He says it very often, he demonstrates it more often. But he would be, first of all, a father. And a man like him would always put his children first. Some of his better qualities might be what would ultimately drive them away from each other. He was divided. But it didn't have to be like this.

"Maybe we should take a break?" she asked quietly, her voice heavy with meaning.

"W-What?" he asked, his voice strained, every inch of him radiating confusion. "No! Absolutely not."

"Couples share things, emotions, experiences, memories. I can't share what I don't have, Tom."

"Your memories are coming back, Rachel. We're fine."

"Fine is not enough, Tom! A good part my life is missing, an important part. For our relationship to work, I need to be whole, I need to recover who I am. "

"You've been thinking about it for some time, haven't you?"

Is there any way out of a no-win situation? If she maintains the relationship as it is, she can hurt him. If she turns away from him, the result will be the same.

Her eyes meet his. There is a sadness in her voice when she says, "I'm sorry, Tom, but I think this is the best for both of us now."

He knew she hadn't meant to hurt him. But, fuck. The result was still the same. She is retreating in the face of the first obstacle.

You thought about it, too, an irritating voice reminded him.

The difference is that I didn't give up.

"How is this supposed to work, Rachel? Should I pretend I don't feel anything? How much space do you need? Because I'm confused here."

Rachel closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath. "Friends… we can be friends," she said, and even to herself, she sounds uncertain.

"Friends!" He repeated. She just needs time. They will be fine. Or perhaps he merely wanted to believe it because the alternative was too painful to bear.

Tom's face went carefully blank. "Okay. We'll do it your way."

"Tom!" she reaches out to him, but he moves away from her touch.

He had shut down. She couldn't reach him now. He closed the door softly behind him.

She has done what was best for them. Why doesn't that bring any comfort?

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Almost four weeks had passed after that conversation, and now there's an uneasiness and a different kind of tension that wasn't there before. When they meet now, he is always polite but cold.

He's watching her. She puts a stethoscope on his arm and listens for the blood to start flowing. It gradually tightens for about thirty seconds before releasing.

He'd approached too near, and now she was trying to run away again. It's a coping mechanism. Her coping mechanism. But it looks like she is having a hard time dealing with her decision. Both are.

She had been brooding, distant, rebuffing all his attempts to draw her out. So he had used a lame excuse, an alleged high blood pressure.

Her brows pulled together in a thoughtful frown. She remembered a recent incident that was annoying her.

She'd watched from the window as he was chatting amicably with an attractive brunette. She laughs at something he says while putting a lock of hair behind her ear. Rachel felt a pang in her chest at the sight of this and forced herself to ignore that feeling she did not want to name. Amanda Connor was doing some reporting with Nathan James' crew for the local newspaper, she should be able to act professionally, and not look at him as if he is a dessert and she wants to take a bite. He should dodge the casual touches on his arm and not smile like an idiot.

Tom had looked up and she had retreated to the shadows moving away from the window.

He watched her gaze darken as she removed the pressure gauge.

"Rachel…"

"Hmmm," she says thoughtfully.

"Is everything okay?"

She gritted her teeth, the anger making her shake.

"Depends."

He waited a few more seconds, but she had nothing more to say.

"On what?" He asked after another few seconds.

He reached out to rest a gentle hand on her arm "Rachel!"

She blinked.

"Your blood pressure is normal, but you already knew that."

He gave her an unrepentant smile. Then his expression became serious.

"I am worried about you."

"I am…" she starts hesitantly. Then she stops to take a breath. "I thought it would be easier," she admits.

There is so much softness in his expression that she suddenly feels her throat tighten.

"Come with me," he says, holding her hand and pulling her towards the exit.

"Where are we going?" she asks, but offers no resistance as they walk through the corridors of the complex.

"You need some fresh air."

"I should have warned my two bodyguards," she says when they're out of the building.

"You are safe with me, honey, I would not let anything happen to you."

The word "honey" made her smile. He almost never calls it that, most of the time it's Doc or Rachel.

"That's better," he said when he saw her smile.

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He stared, unseeing, at the wall of the room. How long is enough? Two weeks? One month? One year? His pride stung. He offered everything to her and at the first obstacle she came across, she backed away in fright. He did what she asked, but it's not easy to just be a friend. He is aware that sometimes he acts with a certain coldness when he is with her. How can he be a friend, when he knows that there is potential for them to be much more than that? She drives him crazy, charms him, confuses him. The more he thinks about her, the more determined he is to throw caution to the wind and just ... and do what? Fuck! He is so screwed.

He rubbed his temples, aware of his pounding headache.

"Tom," Jed said.

"Hmm?"

"Are you okay?"

"Headache," he says.

"You have been having a lot of headaches lately."

"I have been having a lot of troubles lately," he said. "We have a prisoner in custody who may have information about Rachel's kidnapping."

"Will you tell her?"

"Not for now," he said. Jed sent him a disapproving look. "Don't look at me like that, Dad." He was tired, he was frustrated. Everyone seemed to have something to say about his story with Rachel. "I'm doing the best I can."

Jed's face softened as he looked at his eldest son.

"How was the visit to the botanical garden?" Tom asked instead.

They had gone to visit the Missouri Botanical Gardens. The kids loved the place, there was so much to see, but he had convinced them to visit one point in particular, Climatron, a large geodesic dome that replicated the climate of a tropical forest, with plants from South America and Africa.

"The kids had fun," Jed said, "they have too much energy for an old man like me."

"Sorry Dad, I thought I'd have more time with my children."

"I'm not complaining, I'm just stating a fact. You and your brothers also had much energy at that age."

Tom did not miss the note of sadness in his father's voice when speaking of his siblings. He also missed them a lot.

Perhaps what his son needs is a slight push in the right direction, a little competition would be good. Uncertainty about his feelings for Rachel and jealousy can help him make the right decision. He just needed to put the two together. When it comes to Rachel and Tom, it was like putting fire near gasoline, the attraction would provide the spark and the explosion would be inevitable.

"I saw Rachel in the botanical garden," Jed said casually.

"I'm surprised, she's workaholic. I trust in Miller and Gareth to keep her safe. "

"They were not with her."

"What?" If Miller and Gareth disobeyed his orders, heads will roll. "Was she alone?"

"Rachel was in very good company; she was alone with Tex."

Even his tired brain understood the emphasis on the word alone.

"Rachel is not interested in Tex, Dad, she likes him just as a friend."

"Feelings can change."

He knows what his father was doing, but the reaction is almost automatic. He cannot think of his Rachel with another man. Jealousy quickly welled in Tom's chest.

"What did you see?" Tom demands.

Here we go! Jealousy, Jed thought, satisfied. His answer was evasive. "Nothing, forget what I said, these old eyes are no longer seeing right." Jed stood up and went into the kitchen. Tom followed him.

"I hope you're hungry," Jed said innocently, moving into the center of the kitchen. "I did…"

"Dad, I'm not hungry," Tom growls.

"I'm sorry, I forgot that you have a headache, I kept one bottle of aspirin here somewhere," Jed said while opening one of the cupboards. "I found it!" Jed could almost see the smoke coming out of his son's ears, the angry stance saying the he was losing patience fast.

Tom's voice was impatient. "Dad, answer me!"

"Here are two aspirins." Jed handed it to him, then the water, waited while he swallowed the pills. "You ought to get some rest, Tom."

"Dad, do I have to spell it out to you in single syllables? I don't want to rest; I want answers, now." He says in a tone of voice that would make his soldiers jumpy, but have no effect on this father.

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"Yes," he said through clenched teeth.

This is turning out to be a lot easier than I thought it would be. Now is the time to give the final blow. "Oh, nothing … we saw them walking together in a secluded part of the park. They had their arms around each other. They looked like any other couple we saw in the park." Jed doesn't get a chance to finish his sentence.

Tom marches out the door, his jaw set in determination.

"It's about time," Jed said, smiling.

Forgive me for that, dear. But desperate times call for desperate measures.

As he walked up to Rachel's house, Tom did everything possible to control his temper. When he finally knocked on the door, his expression was calm and collected. Nobody could imagine the green-eyed devil that was simmering inside him.

SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCH


Authors' Notes: Next chapter will be the big "reveal" in terms of Rachel's memories. We hope all of you are staying safe and holding on.

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