All this could almost become a sort of routine. The word wasn't so correct though, because usually routine wouldn't include the constant risk of losing each other. This was war time, not a simple period during sword school. Death was waiting at the corner for the smallest mistake.
Yasuo didn't care that much. He knew too well this was dangerous and he better be cautious if he didn't want to die too soon. Early death had no use in the war, this would be failure to fall so soon. Plus, there were a lot of people out there who wouldn't mind seeing him dead so he had one more reason to stay alive, just to annoy them.
The last reason to stay alive was Yi. Just like his family, his soulmate held him dear and had already given so much affection. Yasuo refused to make him sad, even if this concept was still quite new. Staying alive to piss off many people was already his goal and now he would carry on just to be able to see the latter again.
Love…
When it became difficult out there, in the battlefield, Yasuo thought about him and the latest contact exchanged. A sort of fuel, a reminder of his reason to stay alive and fight back. Once everything would be over and Noxus defeated, they would be together, able to enjoy their new life now that they had found each other. Each soldier crossing steel with him was another step on the right path. Soon.
As if he had a real impact in this war. He doubted it but again, it was the number that counted. So many warriors had joined the fights and spilled blood for their land, everything helped. Who knew ? Maybe one day that stream of noxian soldiers would stop forever. This seemed like a far dream.
The war was already taking too long. Soon it would impact everyone's motivation. It felt like it would never end. The biggest conflict for a long time and hope wasn't as bright as the first days of fight back. Many had died, many had been fighting since the beginning. The empire seemed to never rest.
Keeping busy the backlines, Yasuo was one of the closest to this particular kind of hell. What brought so many people to invade these lands ? Why such passion to fight ? Why such thirst for blood ? Each day he saw noxian rage ready to consume Ionia. Why attack a nation that asked nothing but peace ? Asking questions was useless, a matter beyond him or any one fighting this war in valleys and mounts, steps in blood. Powers were at work and it wouldn't meddle with the low fights.
In times like these, watching hatred from so close, Yasuo almost touched the absurdity of this conflict. Some noxians that ran out of the battlefield, solid fear reeking around. Kids. Some were so young, more than him and technically he was in age to fight. These weren't. What was the point of all this ? It felt like the reasons didn't matter, the purpose was a simple bloodbath. Enough to sober up and realize the madness of war.
Still, he wouldn't flinch. He deserted his duty to protect the lands and the population, he wouldn't give up because of this illusion. Even if he was merely playing the part of a pawn, meaningless soul. People still died because of Noxus and he was going to fight back as long as he could.
These questions remained though, busying his mind in the rare breaks. He didn't like to think about it, only making his situation worse. Sometimes to see the whole picture wasn't helpful. Just flesh sent to the gutter. There had to be a higher purpose and he wished to focus on that instead. Think of the good side, the lives saved, the village behind that was still in safety like so many in the back country. Think about Yi.
To see his soulmate always soothed whatever fears and worries he had. It was strange to explain but he reminded him why he was still here. Fighting for what was right.
The dance with wind and death resumed, a continuous clash of steel and last breaths. It was always too close, never really safe. At least Yasuo was good at this, strike and dodge, run and slay. Each time it felt like taking a deep breath then jumping into the deep. Only at the end he would go back to the surface and look for his soulmate. Never too far. He tried to keep that in mind and not force Yi to follow him in a deadly place.
Silent prayer for his beloved. Only the few seconds their gazes met accross the battlefield then it was enough, they knew it was fine for now. Next time would be later, once the sun had set and the crude flames lit the horizon. Then they would find each other and cheer to be still alive.
There were still good news these days. As the fights followed Noxus, they could find a closer place to rest. It was a monastery hidden among the trees, something difficult to spot for any outsider. Word ran between allies about the safe places close tot he battlefield.
This night, they would be able to sleep in safety. Again, what a luxury to be able to rest in a place guarded. As if it would even be found.
Here they were, having found a bed to share in a corner of this new place. After a good meal, they came here and lied down together. Yasuo was so glad to be right there, really they had some luck.
Although sleep didn't come so fast. They simply held each other, armor off and quiet hands on each other. It was sweet because Yi obviously relaxed, contrast to every other time they slept outside. This was a relief to know his soulmate safe.
Gazing softly at each other until Yasuo couldn't stop himself and claimed his lips. Good… They were together, they were alive and they were safe for the night. Yi gasped into the kiss, pleased surprise of a few seconds before he accepted him fully.
This was exactly what they needed right now, the easy affection impossible to exchange during the day. Since that first kiss Yasuo always longed for more, almost an addiction.
He still parted slowly to gaze at Yi, obvious love in his eyes. Was that wrong ? War made everything so short, they could appreciate this as much as they could.
War, ghost lurking at the back of everyone's mind. The constant threat. Yasuo couldn't think of something else, right now his worries bubbled up.
In need for comfort he returned to nuzzle the latter's neck, relishing contact like a rare thing. The embrace got tight, just like his emotions at the moment.
« Yasuo ? »
Ah. Not a real surprise, Yi would always notice if something was wrong. However it wasn't always through the soulmate link that he felt it, maybe he was simply good at it.
« Mmh ? » He prefered to look up from this cozy spot he found.
« What's wrong ? I know we're supposed to sleep but you look a bit restless. » As to emphasize his concern, Yi brought a hand to his cheek, rubbing gently.
« Errr…it's a bit stupid, no need to bother you with that. »
« Please tell me, I won't judge. » Just for this, he came closer and gave a chaste peck, lingering an instant.
Alright alright.
« I know, it's strange but…sometimes I wonder what's the point of all this. It feels like the war will never end. And I know they're the enemy but so much death, it's making me sick of it. »
Yasuo biggest fear was to be misunderstood right now. The latter said he wouldn't judge but it was really something to let out this kind of question. He hoped Yi would understand, even just a bit.
Silence settled at first and he didn't dare to break it. He merely returned to snuggle shyly, a bit scared to be taken for kid asking too much.
« I feel that too. » Whisper so close as Yi held him tightly, tone deep in thoughts. « Honestly I don't like to kill, no matter if they're noxians or whatever. But I want to protect our land so I will keep going until everyone is safe. Including you. »
Love blossomed suddenly, far too sensitive to resist it. It was both heartwarming and incredibly relieving to hear a similar opinion from Yi. He wasn't alone in this struggle.
« Thank you. » Were there tears in his tone ? Yasuo didn't want to question that, feeling too much at once. Just a deep conversation about the war and now he got a lot of feelings.
« It's alright, love, it's alright. I won't let anything harm you. » Dear embrace, the strenght of emotions that developped over time.
« Not just that. Thank you for understanding. I'm glad not to be alone in this. »
Love. Sweet name to be called. Yasuo wished he could return as much. At their point, it was probably fine.
« Oh. Then I'm equally glad. We're together in this, until the very end. »
Nothing to add so Yasuo stayed right there, cuddled with affection. There was also a certain softness not to be forced to look at Yi when he spoke so openly. Sometimes what he felt was too strong to be voiced calmly.
Yet something stayed on his mind. Until the end. Not thinking about any early death but rather the moment when he would have to go back to his village. Yasuo wouldn't be able to dodge this, it was his honor and duty.
At the time he had hoped the war would be over quickly but he started to think about it again. Maybe he would have to go back soon. The new sad part would be to say goodbye to Yi for a time, because he would probably stay to fight as long as the war raged.
« You're still thinking, I can hear it. Anything else to say ? »
If he was to tell everything then so be it.
« Soon I'll have to go back to the school. I thought the fights wouldn't last that much and it doesn't seem to stop so I'll have to return for my duty. »
« I see. We both know the war isn't close to an end, this decision is for the best. »
It didn't help much.
« That's not the problem. I don't want to leave you… » To make him understand Yasuo met his gaze, trying to convey his worry and sadness.
Yi seemed to understand the issue quickly, soothing gesture to calm him. Foreheads touching, Yasuo let affection do its work, feeling a bit better.
« I…I don't want to let you go so soon. I know it's selfish and surely useless because we would find each other later but I can't help it. I'm sorry, this isn't helping. »
Such cascade of emotions wasn't expected and it touched Yasuo deeply. Oh… He wasn't wrong, it would impact them both to stay far for a time. To hear Yi admit this was sweet and painful.
« You're not wrong, I guess we'll meet again soon enough. Surely they'll give me a sanction for leaving and keep me at the village. At least you already know where to find me. » Small smile, despite the future ache.
« I hope it won't take too long. You'll be missed dearly, my love, my everything. »
Breath caught. Yi kissed him urgently, as to make it up for their future separation. It didn't happen yet and already they felt it. Too shaken, Yasuo got lost in this new kiss. My heart…
How could they hurt in advance ?
It last until none could breathe, desperate for this dear affection and air. The strongest embrace possible, as long as they could hold each other.
« I'll miss you too, baby…My sunshine… »
Soft joy mixed with early sadness took them, giving small pecks in that gentle rush. May it last forever.
That night, sleep took time to get them. At least they were together and safe, for now.
