Well, hello all and a very happy 2018! I sure hope everyone's had a good start to the New Year, and I wish everyone success and good fortune to come! I know my New Years wishes are more than a little late but...I mean it's only march right. We're only three months into the year right?

...And six months since my last update. Ha.

Its been a while I know, and I'm so very sorry that I keep doing this to you guys, especially with all the support you've given and continue to give me. I can't believe the warm reception this story has received, and it makes me feel even guiltier for my constant neglect. I really am truly sorry.

A big reason for my delay is due to the fact that I've actually...drum roll please!...Written my very first novel!

Yes indeed, my lovely readers, I finally sat down and did the thing, and I'm quite proud of myself if I do say so myself. It's a whole ass book with chapters and characters and an original plot and I'm very excited about it. I've gotten an editor and we're in the final stages of cleaning it up, and hopefully by May we'll be able to see a final, and dare I say it, published version! I hope you will all support this nonsense author in her endeavours!

Thank you all so much for your love and kindness! I'm sorry to say this chapter is shorter than what you all are used to, I'm quite out of practice when it comes to this fic. I hope it's not too bad however.

I love you all very much and, again, thank you guys so much for your continue encouragements regarding this fic.

For this update, you can thank guest reviewer fifi, who wrote me such a nice review and made me feel guilty enough to get my act together, as well as everyone who left me kind messages and requests for an update. You are all far too nice to me.

:)


Chapter XIX - Kobicha


"You're late!" Was the first thing Edgar heard upon arriving at the Clearwater's house that afternoon, her hand still suspended in the air with the intention to knock on their worn wooden door -only, she never got the chance, because the door had swung open mere seconds after she'd set foot on the porch, and she was now being faced with the accusing gaze of the very boy she'd come to see.

She blinked slowly down at him, lowering her arm and giving him a frown. "How can I be late when we didn't even agree upon a meeting time?" She asked, bemused. Was there some social call that she'd missed? Perhaps there was certain etiquette for these kinds of things, and she hadn't been notified. Her grandmother would no doubt know. Her grandmother knew everything when it came to social niceties, all things Edgar couldn't understand, nor could she bothered to try to.

The young boy squinted, pointing at her with his index finger.

"Yeah well, you're still late! My mum says that everyone should get an early start, or else they'll waste the whole day away, and -and, it's already passed noon so that means half the day is gone, which we could have used to paint!" He exclaimed, and the black haired girl only frowned deeper.

Her father always said something vaguely along the same lines, a phrase about a bird and a worm which she'd never bothered to fully pay attention to, because in Edgar's opinion, it really didn't matter what time a person decided to start their day, just as long as they felt a sense of accomplishment when ending it. And anyway, different things were better experienced at different times, like the way the light shun amber during Golden Hour, or the delicate frost on glass of a spring morning, really it all depended on what exactly you were looking for.

"You're far too loud." She said instead, and he let out a loud squawk that much reminded her of an exotic bird. She moved around the small boy and let herself into the house, taking everything in with interest. The last time she'd been here, she hadn't had much time to admire anything, Leah having pulled her into her room immediately.

Edgar saw now that it was an old home, probably much older than even the occupants that resided in it. It was made wood, an old mahogany that bore rainstains and scratches. Nonetheless the house was solid, and furnished warmly with winter tones and traditional artwork. There was a particular piece of art that caught her eye, and she couldn't help but move forward to get a closer look.

Hanging above the mantle place, was a framed painting of a man and a wolf sitting side by side on a cliff, overlooking the sunset. The man had his hand buried in the wolf's thick brown fur, and below them were a spread of mountains and trees –a beautiful valley painted gold. Gently, she traced the frame around it, regarding each and every detail: from the visible brushstrokes, to the shadows depicted within. It was beautiful.

"My dad painted that, when he was younger." Seth's voice said from beside her, and she blinked down at him surprise. She'd forgotten that the boy was even there.

Edgar thought of the Harry Clearwater, grey haired but lively, never a frown on his face. He was always laughing, and she used to wonder what he was constantly so happy about. And yet, everytime she'd asked, her mother had just smiled.

It had been a long time since she'd seen the man, the last having been at the funeral, but she knew that when she did see him, he'd be unchanged: still laughing, still smiling.

The black haired girl had to admit –seeing this work filled her with a sense of admiration for the man. While the painting wasn't the best she'd ever seen, when looking at it, she felt a twinge of something in her heart. What, she could not say, but she felt warm, in pleasant way. Through the image, she got the sense that the man and his wolf were very close indeed, old friends that had come to know each other just as they knew themselves. She found it strange, that a man and an animal could arose such a feeling in her, but nonetheless, the more she gazed at the painting, the more undeniable it became.

But there was also something sour within her, an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach that she didn't like at all. She felt...envious? Perhaps that was it –she'd read that the emotion of jealousy could be compared to sucking on lemons, and she certainly did get the feeling. She was envious because for all her love for painting, for all her talent, she'd never managed to create something that made her feel so soft inside, had never been able to capture a bond so well.

Edgar frowned, lowering her hand from the frame. No, she didn't like the feeling at all.

Beside her, the small boy made a sound of impatience. "Enough staring, I want to get started. You've been staring at that painting forever." He whined, and suddenly she was being pulled away, a hand around her wrist tugging her along before she could even reply. She couldn't help the sound of surprise she made at being yanked so abruptly, but the young boy was unfazed.

Seth led her out the back door, revealing a sprawling backyard that eventually led into the forest. The grass was a light sepia, signalling winter's fast approach, and the leaves on the trees had already begun to fall, coating the ground in a red blanket. It was an idyllic scene, one that she wouldn't mind capturing on paper, but he didn't give her the chance.

"So, how're we going to do this?" he asked, looking at her with wide, expectant kobicha colored eyes.

And Edgar found that she didn't have the answer to that. She hadn't thought the whole thing through, if she were being honest. Accepting had been an impulsive action, and she'd had no choice to keep her word, because every time she even so much as contemplated the either of backing out, she was left feeling inexplicably guilty, as if she were committing a great betrayal. Both her father and Daniel had been very much unhelpful when she'd turned to them for advice, and in the time since she'd last been here, she hadn't managed to find a proper course of action to this whole thing.

They stared at each other for a long time, minutes passing by in silence with only the sounds of nature acting as accompaniment, and really Edgar should have known better than this. She didn't know what to deal with children, in fact, most days she didn't know how to deal with people in general. She wished she had one of her books with her; maybe they could guide her through this.

Eventually, Seth sighed. "You have no idea what you're doing, do you?"

Edgar could only shrug.


Leah watched them.

Well, of course she bloody watched them, what else was she supposed to do when they walked around the reservation hand in hand, bliss on their faces as if everything was perfect in the world when they had each other? It was as if they were shoving it in her face, like oh, here we are, so happy and in love and we certainly don't need you in the picture.

And the way everyone beamed and smiled at them whenever they passed? Calling their names and gushing over how good a couple they made, how sweet they were to watch, how blessed they were to have found each other. It was almost as if they were proud. Everywhere she went, all she heard were whispers about the happy couple, speculations about how soon before they'd get married, how it could only be a good thing for them to have a family, to do their duty for the tribe.

God, Leah hated them all.

The worst part was, it was like she was the bad guy in this situation. She was the one subjected to glances of disapproval from the elders, harsh remarks to leave them be and move on, constant reprimands if she even so much as looked at them from a bad angle. Had everyone conveniently forgotten the truth of what happened? How exactly the golden couple had gotten together?

Judging by the way she was succinctly shoved aside –clearly.

Hell, even her own parents didn't want to listen, her own father gazing down at her with hard brown eyes, steel in his voice as he told her to "let it go Leah, don't cause trouble."

As if one month before he hadn't been happily preparing to receive a son-in-law in his home.

And that's what hurt the most. Not the way they looked at each other, not the elders practically singing their praises everywhere they passed, no, it was the casual way they all just seemed to forget about it all, shove the past aside and refuse to even acknowledge its existence, and then condemn her for not doing the same.

But how could she?

It wasn't even the breakup that was the problem, because yeah, she'd loved him, still loved him, but that was life. Feelings changed, boo hoo, time to move on. The problem was that he'd left her for her sister.

And sure okay, maybe Emily wasn't actually her sister by blood, but they may as well have been. They'd been together since the cradle, joint at the hip like a Siamese twins. There was nothing they did without the other, and even when Emily had moved away, they called, texted, spoken to each other every single day almost incessantly. And Sam knew this. Everyone knew this. So how could he have–?

It was like getting stabbed in the back, really.

She hadn't spoken to any of them since the big 'revelation', hadn't even acknowledged their existence in the rare times she shared a ten metre radius with them.

She didn't care for their explanations, or empty apologies, or anything that came from them. She just wanted them out of her sight, preferably somewhere she'd never have to cross paths with them again. A futile wish, considering that wasn't going to happen anytime soon, not with the way they were gearing up to settle down in their own quaint little home just down Chocolate and Rainbow road at the corner of Rose Petal street.

Ugh. Why they felt the need to be sickeningly lovey dovey in public was beyond her. She'd honestly rather jump off a cliff than have to endure another fucking minute of them staring longingly into each other's eyes. She hadn't been that bad, had she? She sure hoped not

Her brother was the only person who seemed to be on her side, even despite his young age. He was constantly defending her from their parents, or whoever dared bad mouth Leah for her supposed 'childish behaviour'. He'd been just as shocked as she was when he'd learned the news, just as betrayed. He'd taken both of them as his siblings, had been even more excited to have Sam as an official older brother. When Seth had learnt the truth of things, learnt why the wedding had been called off and why Leah didn't even want to hear any of their names uttered while she was around, he'd been almost as hurt as she was.

Her little brother's reaction just made her angrier, because how dare they? How dare they make Seth cry? Anyone who hurt her little brother cry didn't deserve her forgiveness.

Call her bitter, call her jealous, call her whatever the hell you wanted, but Leah was over it.

Double shifts, deliveries, side jobs –she was going to get out of this town one way or another and she was going to make it. She was going to show them, all of them, that she wasn't the pathetic heartbroken girl they all thought she was. She didn't need any of them, and she certain didn't want any of them either. Oh no, she had a plan, and one day very soon, she was gonna hitch the first bus out of here.

She was tired of being the sad ex, she was tired of being treated like second best, and most of all she was tired of feeling like she wasn't good enough, like she was irrational for being hurt that her fucking fiancé left her for her cousin.

So she was leaving the reservation, leaving all the toxic air behind her and she would find a fresh new start. Maybe she'd go to college, or maybe she'd just travel for a while. Let Sam and Emily get married and have ten kids for the tribe elders, let them do whatever the hell they wanted.

It wasn't her problem anymore, because Leah was going to live.