It was late at night, a time when most turn out the lights and settle in. Everything would quiet down after the sun descends, giving rise to pale moonlight. People should be snuggled up in their beds, maybe with a loved one or just alone, letting the weight of the long hours from the day melt from their shoulders. Sleeping peacefully for the coming day and awaiting the new struggles that would undoubtedly come along with it.
Not in Gotham.
Sakura gave a side glance to the man walking beside her, raising an eyebrow at his appearance. This was strange, even for her. After all that's happened in the last few weeks, it was a shock that anything would be a surprise anymore. And yet... Time and time again, this enigma of a person continuously seemed to pull it off when she least expected it.
"Wha-t? Do I, ah, have something on my face?" Joker looked down towards her with a crooked grin, knowing exactly why she was staring at him. The reaction she had in the apartment when he came out of the bathroom was priceless. It took him a while to reel in the hysterical laughter, but it was even longer for the pinkette to pick her jaw up from the floor. He couldn't blame her, the different would have been shocking to anyone who knew what he normally looked like.
"W-Well, yeah... It's just weird to see you like this." Sakura leaned forward, narrowing her eyes as they flickered around, taking in his features. She was giving him another good look for the dozenth time. Was it that much of a difference? It should be, otherwise the entire get-up was useless. "I like you better without all that shit on."
The clown looked straight ahead to avoid her gaze, trying to squash the heat licking at his neck and face. It was useless, but at least it was dark out. When she finally stopped staring at him, his dark eyes slid back over, watching her from his peripherals. Even during the late night with only the neon signs and streetlamps to make anything visible, she stood out from everything else. Sakura was like a pale ray of light in the darkness, mystical and serene, illuminating the way to their destination.
The Moon.
He couldn't help appreciating her appearance. The way her long hair cascaded down her back, how she gracefully maneuvered around the broken sidewalks to avoid tripping, clinging to her coat as the little breaths of fog poured from her pink lips. Those bright green eyes looking up at him every so often, almost like they were searching for reassurance when they walked past groups of the schmucks or cluttered alleyways were danger always lurked. If it wasn't for the dainty hand grabbing the bottom of his sleeve, he might have thought she wasn't real. Just another hallucination from his twisted mind toying with him again...
Joker found her reaction to his get-up amusing, even now as she cast him another strange look. He was the master of disguise after all. There's been many times he's had to switch roles or play parts and he gets a kick out of it. All it took was a little latex and ta-da! The scars were gone, like they were never there in the first place. A little trick he learned a while back from a crook he met. The man used to make faces out of the material and impersonate people to get in and out of places. He was true genius at his craft. That seemed like a lifetime ago... After one big job, he disappeared like a ghost and no one's heard of him since. Perhaps he's living quietly somewhere, enjoying the spoils of his hard work. Then again, he could also be at the bottom of the bay with a cinder block tied to his ankles...
Who knows?
All it took was mixing a little of Sakura's foundation with some of her other makeup to blend in the edges and he was good to go. Her skin tone was too drastic in comparison to his own to only use her cover-up by itself. She was a soft pale color, while he was tan. It was a little tricky, but he's made due with worse. He snagged her cosmetics bag while she laid on the bed, exhausted and sleepy, trying to use her ability to get a jump-start since they were going out. The little woman was tired after their tryst on the table, the wall...even in the shower, and probably wanted nothing more than a long nap.
Unfortunately, the night is young and the clown was an insomniac with endless amounts of energy. All he needed was a few minutes of shut eye and he was back on his feet, raring to go. They had plans for tonight, even if she wasn't aware of them. As much as he enjoyed watching her sink into that peaceful state of consciousness so she could get some rest, things needed to be done and there was plenty of time for that later. She had a small reprieve while he was getting ready. Within fifteen minutes of standing in front of the bathroom mirror, he looked like a different man. One who didn't have their mouth carved open with a kitchen knife. This is how Jack would have looked if life was different...
A 'normal' man about to go out into the city with his special lady by his side. Despite the disguise being necessary for what they were about to do, that didn't stop the fury bubbling up inside at the sight. It took every ounce of patience to not put his fist through the mirror. The only thing stopping him was that it belonged to Sakura. From the look on her face earlier, he could tell she was already annoyed that he broke one of the shower tiles, even without a word being said. It's been a great night so far, so there was no reason to push his luck. The clown's already killed a few guys, made a building explode, almost blew himself up, and had a few rounds with the beauty standing next to him.
If that isn't one hell of a night, then he don't what is.
Instead of his usual purple-and-green attire, Joker had to wear something a little less...noticeable. They were filthy and shredded anyway, not that it really mattered. There were spares at a few of the warehouses him and his men occupied in The Narrows. He could swing by at anytime to snag one or have one of his lackeys bring it. For now, he settled on an outfit he stashed at Sakura's the other day for this very occasion. She didn't know it was there, hidden beneath the couch where he usually likes to hide things. Or somewhere high-up, knowing she can't reach that far and wasn't going to get the step stool out for no reason. Being tall can have its advantages when dealing with a short person, makes it easier to keeping their nose out of things that might get them into trouble.
The get-up included a dark brown bomber jacket that was beat to hell, a white tee-shirt and a denim jeans. True to his nature, he couldn't resist wearing his colorful patchwork socks, the only part of the clown ensemble he kept on. The worn work boots brought back a lot of old memories, something he practically lived in as a teenager. When he walked through the bathroom door, he couldn't stop laughing at Sakura's reaction. At first, he thought her heart might've actually gave out. Her face turned completely red as she swooned, seeming close to passing out. After the initial fit of giggles, it dawned on him that she might prefer his 'normal' boring face, then he got angry. The only thing that made it a little better was that the pinkette said it reminded her of the way he looked when they were together before and told him to take that 'shit' off his face. That she preferred the scars and he didn't look right without them...
Ya know what they say 'bout the crazy ones...
Somehow he managed to get the messy mop of hair stashed into a black beanie, but the tips were still hanging out. He didn't care that much... There was no way anyone would be able to recognize the faded green hair in dark and even if they did... Heh. There was an answer to that question on the inside of his jacket. His unruly hair was a pain to deal with and it really needed to be dyed again. His natural dirty blond shade was coming through, dark at the roots and becoming lighter towards the tips.
Perhaps he could get Sakura to do the tedious job for him. Hoo boy... It was the best feeling to have those slim fingers working their way through his hair, lacing through them, and giving a nice tug here and there. Massaging his scalp with her fingertips, dragging her nails across his skin when he's pretending not to listen... The only thing better than that was being buried inside of her, bottoming out and feeling her tight walls squeezing down on his cock, almost like they were trying to strangle the life out of him. The way she screams his name, clawing at his skin in desperation, begging and pleading with him to go faster, to let her cum... How glazed and unfocused her eyes become...
'Christ! Not now...'
Teeth bit into the familiar corded scar tissue on the inside of his mouth, trying to distract himself from the the images of her writhing beneath him. Of what happened earlier... No. He can't think about that now. They were walking together outside with people around and he needed to stay sharp, keep an eye out for anything that might interfere with their little date. The last thing he needed was an erection in these uncomfortable jeans and having the rough denim fabric rubbing against it. Staring at the pinkette humming with a small grin on her face was not helping. He needed to stay alert, to be ready for action if something went wrong, the way he usually is. It's only around this woman that all of that went straight out the window. She made it so he couldn't focus, had a hard time concentrating. When the two of them are together, everything else seemed to melt away into the background. Nothing and no one else was around anymore. It was almost like the rest of the world ceased to exist.
Unfortunately, it does... That would be asking for too much, huh?
"That's good to hear, dollface. Ya know I'm only wearing this so I can go out with you. We, ah, don't need people screaming or calling the police. Not that I wouldn't enjoy that, but... Right now, I'd rather us be left alone."
A sigh left Sakura's lips watching the man beside her. Although his appearance was that of a 'normal' person, he was far from it and that was perfectly fine. It was strange seeing him this way. This is what Jack would have looked like if his father hadn't slashed open his face. When the Joker had first stepped out of the bathroom, she was overcome with nostalgia and an array of turbulent emotions. While it brought back a lot of old memories and made her think about how different their lives could have been, it didn't matter. Everything turned out the way it did for a reason. While she appreciated the effort he put into his disguise, he didn't look the same without the scars. Either way, he was still handsome and she wanted him regardless. The dark, jagged marks around his mouth were a part of him and it felt odd seeing them hidden, but it was a necessary evil.
The pinkette looked up at him, letting out another chilly breath at what he was doing. His dark eyes kept glancing back and forth when they weren't on her, watching their surroundings carefully. Every person who walked by was met with a glare, making them move further away on the streets while they walked together. It was like taking a stroll with a large, angry dog that was ready to bite someone's face off if their eyes lingered a little too long or were in arms reach of either of them.
There was a lot more people out at this time of night than she imagined, but that shouldn't have been surprising. This was Gotham... The city became the most lively when the sun was gone. That's when most crimes were committed and thugs came out from whatever rock they were hiding under. The crime rate seemed to take a dive with the District Attorney and MCU hauling in so many gangsters. That changed quickly with everything that's been going on, all thanks to the Joker. People were acting completely reckless and didn't seem to care anymore, becoming more brazen with every passing day.
People gave the two curious looks when they walked by, making Sakura feel uncomfortable. Quite a few were boldly staring at the bright pink locks hanging down her shoulders and violet mark on her forehead. Women were gawking at Jack, eating him up with their eyes, showing interest and appreciation for his handsome features and tall stature. It annoyed the pinkette, even if she couldn't blame them. He was dashing, there was no denying it. To these chicks, he probably looked like a full-course meal from a top restaurant they wanted to take home in a doggy-bag. She could see it in their faces. The way they stopped to watch him, smiling and whispering about the 'hottie with a body'. It made a fire burn just beneath the surface of her skin, wanting to incinerate the them when they were checking him out. Most of the females wandering the streets this time of night were prostitutes, party-girls, drunks or just out looking for a good time.
They weren't going to have it with this man.
Jack either didn't notice it or couldn't care less, more concerned with watching everyone around them. Knowing him, he probably didn't even realize these women were undressing him with their eyes. He never could get it, didn't understand how the fairer sex's mind works or what gets it going. Proof of that was when Sakura mentioned he had some admirers, his neck craned back with an incredulous expression, asking what the hell she was talking about. It was always like this, even when they were younger. If a woman tried flirting with him or got too close, he assumed they were trying to pick his pockets or going to rob him. It was endearing in its own way how oblivious he was to his own physical appeal. For the last eight years, he's had those scars and no one tried doing any of that, so he probably assumed they weren't attracted to him and were after something instead.
Maybe it was also because he knew that once the latex came off, they wouldn't be acting so carefree. Little did they know he was actually the mass-murdering terrorist all over the news that's been tormenting the city... Sakura couldn't help giggling to herself imagining their faces if they saw him in his usual attire with greasepaint slathered all over his face. No... It didn't matter if anyone was staring at him like they wanted to jump his bones, he was still coming home with her tonight.
Apparently, the clown wasn't the only one attracting attention. A few times they went by a group of men who were ballsy enough to ogle at Sakura in the black sweater dress and dark leggings she was wearing, visually and vocally admiring the way it fit her. It was met with a murderous glare coming from the man next to her, along with a few curses and threats...and a switchblade appearing twice. Thankfully, no one's been hurt so far. If they didn't have plans, things could have gone very differently.
"This city never changes, does it?" He was still looking around when they reached the entrance of the park. Sakura's eyes narrowed when she noticed there weren't any chains on the gates. From her memories and the sign posted nearby, the entrance was supposed to be locked up by dusk. It's always been that way. When they were younger, they used to climb over it all the time, usually with Jack having to give her a hand. She was always too short to do it on her own.
"I guess not..." Jack slung his arm around her shoulder when they stopped, giving her time to look around. This was different from when she came on her own before. Now Sakura knew she's been here and had the images to go with it. She drank in the surrounding, breathing in the cold air as nostalgia washed over her. It was almost like old times, just without having to scale anything.
A loud scrapping noise made her jump, grabbing onto the clown's sleeve when she noticed two men dragging open the gates.
"J-Jack..." She whispered, looking up at him in a panic. These guys were large and looked like thugs or bouncers from a club. Not someone she'd want to live in a ten block radius from.
"Don't worry, dollface... They're my, ah, employees." Jack's lip curled up with the last word, dragging it out like he wanted to call them something else. He gave her shoulders a squeeze, nudging her to go with him. The pinkette took a deep breath, attempting to relax. Feeling the warmth coming from his body as he kept close helped, calming her down. It was hard trying not to feel jumpy with all the crazies running around the city these days, but Sakura had to remind herself that the man beside her was the worst of them all. Trying to comfort herself with that idea really brought the state of her own sanity into question.
'Don't worry... It's going to be fine. Nothing will happen. He wouldn't have brought me here if he thought otherwise.'
Jack knew what he was doing and she needed to trust that. There were so many people who were itching to get their hands on him, it made her paranoid walking around in the open. The police, Batman, politicians, mobsters, street thugs, everyday citizens... The list seemed endless. The thought alone left a heavy feeling in her chest as she looked up at him. One day he could just disappear with a single wrong move or mistake. It could all be over in the blink of an eye...
Growing up, they couldn't walk around in peace either... Always worrying about getting mugged or getting into fights with local boys who didn't like Jack or the fact that she was with him. Other times it was people who had a problem with his father... It was a shame that after all these years, he still couldn't be free, even though the circumstances were completely different. He was always on guard, watching and waiting for something that might happen. There was no other choice if he was going to keep them safe. Somethings's really don't change, no matter how much they seem to.
There was a scowl on his face as they passed through the gates, sharply eyeing his men who stood by the entrance when they walked by. The grip on her shoulders tightened, his fingers digging into the fabric of her coat. It almost felt like his hand was a leash, not letting her stray too far away from him. When she took a few steps too fast or slow, it tugged her back into place against his chest, keeping her tucked under his arm. He was acting like someone was going to snatch her away if she wasn't close enough.
"What's wrong?" He finally said, leading her further into the park. They were on the path, the one she took just a little over a week ago. The trees swayed with the cold breeze, kicking up the dead leaves. In a few weeks, this whole area would soon be covered in snow. Dim lamps sticking up from the ground lit up the park enough to enjoy the view. It was nice to be here when no one else was around. Without all the people talking and children playing, it was even more peaceful than last time. Quiet and serene, more intimate.
"Nothing's wrong. I'm just...enjoying this." There was no point in bringing up the obvious worries gnawing at her. She didn't want to ruin the mood, especially when this was the first time they were outside and alone together. He probably knew she wasn't being truthful, but didn't press the issue. Stepping off of the path, Jack dropped his arm from around her shoulders, taking her hand in his. The pinkette sucked in a sharp breath, looking down at where they were connected, her face becoming flush. Glancing up at him, he was looking straight forward, not revealing anything through his expression. If it weren't for the fingers lacing themselves between hers, it wouldn't have seemed like he was even paying attention to the woman next to him.
It wasn't long before they stepped off the path, passing through the trees. This was the same way Sakura took before, when she was with Bruce...and the Joker had been spying on them the entire time. Part of her wondered if that was another reason he was so angry after she came home later that day, when he was scowling at her from the table. She took someone else-another man-to the place they used to go all the time together. It was their spot. Somewhere they used to escape to when they wanted to be alone and have some privacy. There were so many memories here and she didn't have them all yet, but she could feel it in her bones.
'That's why I went this way when Bruce and I were talking... I subconsciously remembered coming here with Jack..'
"That, ah, dress looks nice on you. ..." Sakura blushed, swallowing hard as she glanced up at him. He was giving her a sideways glance from under those heavy lids, letting his eyes trail up her body. The coat reached her hips, but the sweater ran halfway down her thighs. From the way he was staring in the apartment, she wasn't sure if he liked it or was about to tell her to get changed. When he didn't say anything, she was almost surprised. "Wanna get ya more like that."
It was his actions that needed to be watched carefully in detail in comparison to what he actually says. The subtle little gestures and expressions reveal more about what kind of mood he's in than anything else. Even then, it's hard to distinguish or pick-up what's going on with him. Before they left, she couldn't tell if he might've been excited or anxious from the way he sat on the edge of the bed, bouncing his knee and loudly cracking his joints at random. When he suddenly bolted up and grabbed her wrist, the pinkette was startled, sputtering nonsense while he practically dragged her through the apartment and out the door. All without a word, not saying anything about where they were going or doing. The only clue was when they were getting out of the shower, he said "Make sure ya bring a coat. It's cold outside.", leaving it at that.
"Thanks... You don't need to do that. I have plenty of clothes."
The lake finally appeared between the trees and the sight was enough to take her breath away. The moon seemed brighter than usual in the sky... Full and luminous in its entirety, a striking image against the shadowy backdrop. The dark wisps of clouds passing by were like strokes of paint on a canvas, hazy and beautiful in the light mist floating through the chilly air. It was all incredibly...surreal. Like a work of art in a museum with no way of coming to life. It was inconceivable that a place so tranquil existed in Gotham at all. Smack dab in the middle of a city riddled with crime and chaos. The irony was almost poetic in its own way.
'Jack always said he couldn't believe a place like this existed in Gotham. That it almost seemed like a different world all together, separate and cut off from the rest of the city.'
The scene didn't seem to have the effect on the man scowling beside her who grunted, chewing on the inside of his cheek. Breaking the pinkette from the reverie she was lost in while gazing at their surroundings, the grip on her hand tightened as he pulled her along. He stalked towards the edge of the water and plopped down on the ground, without a single care about getting any stains or dirt on his clothing.
Sakura squealed when he yanked her down, grabbing onto her hips when she fell over to position her on his lap. Part of her was almost waiting for him to try something, for a hand to snake into her coat or slither between her thighs...but that didn't happen. The only thing he did was wrap his arms around her waist without saying a word, dropping his chin down against her shoulder. They sat together in a comfortable silence, listening to the water lapping at its edge and the leaves rustling around from the cool breeze. It was a welcome change of pace compared to the last few weeks, going from one extreme to the other, giving her whiplash at every turn.
She let out a deep breath, melting in his hold and allowing everything to fade away. For once, her mind felt clear of all the clutter taking up space, finding an inner peace she didn't know existed until now. There was nothing to worry about, not with him here. The cold didn't bother the pinkette anymore with the warm body wrapped around her, keep it from biting through the layers of clothing. She laid her head back against his chest, listening to quickening beats beneath the white tee-shirt. Despite the surroundings and mood, he didn't seem to find the same sense of relaxation from the way his muscles pulsed, flexing under the small woman sitting on him.
'What's he thinking about? Is something wrong? Why did he bring me here?'
Something was bothering him, she could feel it. Glancing up, she could almost see the wheels turning in those dark eyes as they stared at the dark water, watching the moon's reflection on its cold surface. He was gearing up to talk, to tell her something. This place had a special meaning to them and she doubted that he just brought her here on a whim. If that was the case, he probably would have done it sooner to try drawing more of her memories out of hiding.
"I...know you don't need them, but I still wanna get them for you." Sakura stared up at him, furrowing her brows at what he said. Is that what he was thinking about? Mulling over her words from ten minutes ago? Jack didn't look down at her, opting to stare off towards the lake, but she could feel him on guard. His eyes didn't have to shift for him to be searching for a reaction. "I can get you all the things I couldn't back then. Money's not an issue. Not anymore..."
It was strange. Despite the comfortable mood and beautiful scenery, his expression seemed...melancholy. Maybe she was so caught up in the surroundings to notice it before or maybe his moods were shifting like the tides. Rolling in waves that dragged everything in the water with it, tussling around and spinning it out of control. Like his manic laughter, his moods were just as contagious, seeping into the woman he was holding. It was like an eclipse, slowly eating away at the light and encompassing it with darkness. She didn't like the way his shadowy eyes looked right now, large black pools drowning in an emotion she didn't recognize on his face. If it was on someone else's, she might have called it sorrow.
Sitting up, she turned to kiss his cheek, hoping that it would lighten his mood. Maybe even distract him from what he wanted to say. Sakura could tell from the grimace on his face when she did that... Jack was about to say something that pained him, that he might regret and will undoubtedly upset her. His eyes turned cold and dispondent, tearing away from her to look back out towards the water.
"Sakura..." The way he said her name put her on edge, watching as he popped his lips and let out a heavy sigh. The tone made a breath hitch in her thoat, panic starting to spread throughout her chest like hot lead. What was this all about? Knots formed in her stomach, twisting and coiling, getting ready to tear her insides apart. The pinkette didn't like where this was going already, even though he's barely said anything. "You need to leave Gotham."
"W-What?!" Why was he saying this now? A sharp breath left her lips, like someone just knocked the air out of her lungs. After all that's happened over the last few weeks, he wanted her to leave? Sakura shook her head, trying to clear the thoughts bombarding her mind to be able to think straight. Losing it now wouldn't do either of them any good. No, he must be saying this for a reason. Jack wouldn't just tell her to do something like that unless he knew something was going to happen.
'Jack's just telling me to get out of the city...but he said 'you' instead of 'we'. What is that supposed to mean? It's not like he's breaking up with me or anything, right? Does he expect me to leave all alone? That he's going to stay here to continue whatever he's been doing? I don't like this... Why did he even bother coming into my life if he's just going to walk out of it now? I'm so confused...'
"Hey." Sensing the shift in the pinkette's mood and the expression on her face, the clown grabbed her shoulders to make her face him. Giving them a tight squeeze, he dropped his face down, raising his brows to get her to pay attention. She was lost in her own disparaging thoughts, spiraling into a dark space she never knew existed in herself. Cold and full of sadness that permeated her entire being. Everything was useless, the last week was just a fleeting dream that was being ripped to shreds by reality. It couldn't have lasted, that was asking for too much. Sakura didn't realize she was chewing on her nails until he yanked her hand away, grabbing her jaw too make her look up at him. "Hey. Eyes on me."
She blinked a few times, trying to focus on him and crawling out of the hole she let herself fall into. Seeing that she was paying attention to him, he nodded just inches from her face, curling his lips up. "That's better."
'This is the part where he says 'It's not you-it's me.' and then we go our separate ways, isn't it?'
"Look. Things in the city are getting a little...crazy. I can do my best to keep you safe, but I don't want to take any, ah, chances." The pinkette slowly nodded, trying to take his words in and mull them over despite the fog clouding her mind. So, he wasn't getting rid of her, just wanted her to be safe? Is that what he meant? Something must have changed in the last week if he was saying this now. There hadn't been a single word uttered this whole time about what's going to happen or anything about her leaving. Is this why he brought her here? To lay it down gently or was there more? She knew this wasn't some sort of twisted joke he was playing to get a reaction just for kicks. Jack's expression and tone were serious, his hands gripping on her shoulders as he dipped his head down to be eye-level with her.
"I already have everything figured out. Somewhere that isn't too far or close to the city. A nice, little place where no one will go looking for you. The people that are after me... If they find you, the least of our problems is going to jail. They will kill you, only after trying to squeeze out every little detail about me. Knowing you... Hahh..." His jaw shifted, rolling his head along his shoulders in a futile attempt to work the tension out. "A quick death would be preferable to what would happen..."
'So he knows I wouldn't talk, that they would end up torturing me to death. There isn't shit I could even say about his plans or what he's up to, I really don't know anything. He never talks about it. The only thing I really know is who he used to be, but that wouldn't stop any of the craziness that's going on.'
"I've plenty of enemies who are willing to pay top-dollar and go to extreme lengths for anything they can find. It'll only be a matter of time before something shows up. There are some, ah, situations that aren't completely under my control..." He clicked his tongue at that, curling his lips up into a snarl. She wasn't sure what he was referring to and he wasn't going to tell her. That's been made painfully obvious in the last week. Always trying to feed her as little as possible through a tiny straw, not letting her get a mouthful. It the way he wants it to be, just like he said the night of the fundraiser. He didn't want her involved in his activities as the Joker and he meant it. Those two worlds were separate from each other, only being held together by one man.
"Jack, I-... Okay. I understand...What about you? Will we see each other again?" She felt like her heart was breaking, not knowing what was going to happen. After all this, she didn't want to be apart from him. It didn't matter, he was going to do what he wanted either way to keep both of them safe-or at least her. Sakura had to trust that he knew what he was doing and everything would work out. Everything he did had a reason behind it, even if it wasn't apparent at the time. He wouldn't ask-or tell-her to do this for nothing.
Jack craned his neck back, eyeing her wildly in disbelief. "What the hell do you mean 'see each other again?' Ya got a fever or somethin'?" He slapped a palm against her forehead, narrowing his sight on her. She tried to swat at him, but he held on tight, letting a grin crack his hardeed expression. "Did some of my crazy rub off on you? I believe I said something along the lines of 'You ain't, ah, getting rid of me after this... You realize that, right?', or did you forget?"
Sakura stared at him for a moment, drinking in his words. He did say that, literally word-for-word. It was surprising that he even remembered that considering what was going on at the time.
"Can't get rid of me that easily..." The pinkette let out a shuddered breath at his answer, finding herself feeling light as a feather when the weight bearing down on her finally let go. She hadn't realized just how important having him around really became since this all started. Did things really change this much in a week? They spent years together before and now they started building up something new, trying to start over. In a split-second, it felt like it was all crashing down around her and it scared Sakura to her core. What would happen if it really did happen? One day he might not come back, just disappear from the face of the Earth and she never found out what happened to him?
'That's what he went through seven years ago. How did he manage to get through it?'
"Disappointed, dollface? Hahaha! I'm still keeping my day job, so I'll just have to commute. The stage is still being set for the main act..." Sakura's eyes widened as she watched him rolling into a fit of manic laughter, not finding it contagious at all right now. A sense of dread twisted her guts, making a lump form in her throat. Whatever made him cackle like that was never a good thing. Was he going to blow up the entire city and just wanted her out of the way? If she asked what he was up to, he'd never tell. That was how he was and she damn well knew it.
"Do you have to?" It was barely above a whisper and she didn't think he would hear it over his howling, but he did. Fingers grabbed onto her jaw when she tried shifting away, keeping her gaze on him when the laughter died down. She was hurting... Not physically, but on the inside. Her heart, mind, spirit. It was all aching, knowing things were going to get bad, even if she wouldn't be around to witness it.
'What did I really expect? That we would just stay together in my apartment or live somewhere peacefully? That this relationship would pick up where it left off? I knew what kind of man he was when this started. It's not like he tried to hide it. He warned me and I accepted all the dangers ad possibilities because I just wanted to be with him again.'
"Yes. This city needs to see what it's let fester in their ignorance. To be shown what they really are. This is a battle for Gotham's soul and I'm not backing down..." The conviction in his voice was more than enough to tell her there was no convincing him otherwise. He was going to do what he wanted, regardless of what anyone said or tries to do. She couldn't help biting her bottom lip at foreboding simmering just beneath the surface.
"Don't worry so much. It's gonna be okay. Everything's taken care of. I'm not the same ol' Jack from The Narrows. You won't have to go without anything again. Not a job or going without. Money's not a problem anymore. I can do all the things I promised you back then and some." There was a fanatic intensity in his eyes that made her suddenly feel nervous. Is that what this was all about? Trying to make-up for what he sees as his past failures? She thought he despised money. Isn't that why he burns or gets rid of it? She didn't care about any of that. Not how much he has or what he could do with it.
'What's the end game here? Does he think money will make me happy? It was money that pushed him to commit crimes to take care of them. He only did it then to survive. Why did he go through all this trouble throughout the years? What would he have done if we never ran into each other after that bank robbery?'
There were just too many questions and no one who's willing to answer them.
"Jack... I don't care about the money or what you can do with it. We had nothing in that shitty little apartment and we were happy back then. I'm afraid of you getting yourself killed. Besides, what about my job? Am I supposed to just sit home all-day, playing with money and dresses until you decide to come back? Screw that! I never wanted a life like that and you damn well know it!" Sakura was becoming frustrated by all of this. Was she suppose to hide away for the rest of her life, living off his blood-money? He wanted to keep her safe, but that meant completely relying on him for every single thing. Is that what he wanted for her? Just to keep her away from other people in comfort, while he was out terrorizing the city?
To some women, that would probably be a dream come true. A handsome criminal who would screw them senseless and take care of their every need, leaving them home with money and anything else they desired. To Sakura, that would get old...real fast. She didn't want to be a dirty little secret hidden away from the world with no independence whatsoever. There needed to be a happy medium they could agree on. She wanted to have something to fill up her time that wasn't spent with him. He had one, even if it wasn't conventional by any mean. Sitting there like a puppy-dog waiting for her owner to walk through the door didn't sound like an ideal lifestyle. She wanted to work, go outside,just be able to do things.
Glaring at him with mixed emotions, she noticed his serious expression starting to crack. What the hell was he doing?
"HAHAWHOOHAHA!" The pinkette jumped in his lap when he started cackling like a madman, grabbing his chest in another fit of laughter. Her brow raised in confusion, not understanding what was so hilarious.
"Knock it off! What's so funny?!" Smacking his chest in frustration, she couldn't help her own lips breaking out of character watching him go at it. Why did that crazy laughter have to be so damn contagious.
"Ah! That's relieving to hear, doll... HAHA!" The fit started dying down as he rubbed the corner of his eye with the back of his hand. Pretending there were tears that would never come. He was giving her whiplash again, switching gears from one to the next in seconds. Being dead serious one moment, to laughing like a maniac the next. Why did he have to be such a pain in the ass sometimes? "I, ah... I know how you are. Ya think I'm stupid? I know you better than you know yourself... Literally!" Green eyes narrowed in on him, chewing on her bottom lip in annoyance. Letting out an exasperated breath, she dropped her head against his chest, rolling it back and forth to calm the storm brewing inside.
"You're so cute when you're confused and mad. I like that face." Grinding her teeth together, Sakura pushed him onto his back and straddled his chest. Right now, pummeling him seemed like a great idea. She didn't know what this little charade was and didn't care at the moment. If he knows her so well, he shouldn't toy around with her emotion just to see how she'll react.
"Woah! Relax..." The clown held up his hands, giggling at how livid his words made her. He always enjoyed trying to draw out anything he could from her, bad or good. After all, bad attention is still attention. "I meant everything I said about taking you out of Gotham and going with you... Every. Word. Of. It.." His tongue snaked out, running up the corners of his mouth. It seemed like he forgot that his scars were covered up from the way his brows furrowed when he tried to lick them.
"I wanna keep you safe, but not at the expense of your, ah, happiness..." The pinkette stared down at him, wondering what he was playing at. Usually the clown didn't talk this much. At least not about anything serious or what might happen. He typically kept his inner thoughts and desires to himself, not revealing anything that wasn't necessary. If he was willing to talk, then she'll let him. This opportunity doesn't present itself often.
Clicking her tongue, Sakura slid back to settle herself against his hips, giving him room to sit up. If he wanted to, it would have took little effort to throw her off. He was letting her do what she wanted, carefully watching every look and movement she made. Always calculating and switching it up depending on what he sees in order to work things out in his favor. No matter with who or where he was, it seems the clown could never turn that cunning, manipulative behavior off, even when he as trying to be sincere.
The part about the money must've been another test to see how she'd react. The same way he handed her a gun with no bullets, telling her to shoot him. He just wanted to see if she'd actually try to do it. The pinkette wondered how his plan would have been altered if she did... So what was the reason this time? Jack always despised money, but understood the necessity behind it. Did he want to see if her stance on the subject had changed?
When he sat up, there wasn't a shadow of a smile on his face anymore. His dark eyes bore into her face, searching for something that she couldn't fathom. If only she could read-minds... That might be more helpful than being able to heal. At least life-their relationship-wouldn't be as complicated or difficult. It was hard being with someone who had so many secrets that wanted to keep her in the dark all the time. He didn't talk about his feeling the way he used to when they were younger or let her in on anything he had planned.
Jack frequently dipped his feet into the trouble pond, but he still kept her on the same page most of the time. Even if it was to do something 'bad', he always used to let her know when he was going out, just in case anything were to happen. A few days before he pulled off that job, he ended up telling her what was happening because he didn't like lying to her, especially when she knew something was up.
'He's not like that at all now... I'm not apart of his life in that way anymore. It's only been a week since we 'got back together', but will any of that really change? Or is this how thing's will always be for now on? I feel like I'm an open book he can read at his leisure and he's a volume set on a high-up shelf in the 'restricted section'. I wonder how he really feels or what he thinks about.'
"I was being honest about getting you all the things I couldn't before and setting up a life for you to enjoy. You're the type of woman who can't sit still and be pampered like a brat, even if that's something I wanted. That became painfully clear from the way you come home from work. I like seeing you like that, even if I wanna keep you all to myself." Jack's lips curled up at that, scowling like he despised the notion that she enjoyed something other than him. The muscle in his cheek jumped as he leaned forward, pushing a stray pink lock away from her face.
"Since I'm so generous, perhaps I could, ah, arrange for you to have a similar job elsewhere. Ya can't stay at Wayne Enterprises, otherwise it defeats the purpose of you leavin'. I don't want you being miserable at home, waiting for me all the time. That's exactly what breeds resentment and I ain't having that shit. I'll go out on a limb and make some compromises, if that's what'll make you happy. Just so ya know, I don't budge for anyone. I'm only doing it because-..." He trailed off, narrowing his eyes on her.
"Because...?" Sakura perked up, wondering what he was going to say. This was the most he's let her in and she wondered how far he'd let it, before shutting it down.
"Tch. 'Cause I don't wanna hear you complainin'." There it goes... It was too good to be true. Trying to anything more than that was asking for too much. No sweet words or devotion, but that isn't the kind of man who does that anymore. He shows how he feels through his actions, not some sap pulled from his ass.
'Stubborn bastard...'
Listen... I'd like for you to want to be with me. I already know you're not interested in riches and bullshit, but I'm still gonna take care of ya. Besides, if I wanted a lazy trophy wife willing to do whatever I say, without giving me a fight...just laying around, spending money, and waiting for my cock all day...there's plenty of whores under the bridge who'd love the chance to do that." Jack pumped his brows with a lecherous grin on his face, relishing in the different reactions filtering across the pinkette's face as he spoke.
"If that's what you want, who can stop you all-powerful-one? I'd say I was curious why you know where all the hookers are, but I know you're just trying to piss me off. What? Are ya tryin' to see if I'd get jealous?..." She mocked the way he spoke, drawing out the last word unnecessarily. His dark eyes lit up at her teasing, grinning at her response. Normally, he would have been livid if someone did that, but he was in a generous mood. They both knew the other was just prodding for a reaction, playing around. Sakura was able to read between-the-lines better than anyone else could when dealing with him. It wasn't lost on her that if anyone else had done that, there would have already been a knife cutting out their voice-box.
"You're not curious? Even a tiny bit?" If he had enjoyed the company of prostitutes, it wasn't something that she wanted to hear. He was just bullshitting to flame her interest and see how she felt, if he could rile her up at the thought of him being with another woman. The way he grabbed her throat after mentioning that Jin could cause arousal with his ability from a single touch, told her all that she needed to know. Jack was still as jealous as he was when they were younger. He had the same insecurities, even if they were carefully hidden beneath all the manic and violent behaviors.
"...Do you want to die a terrible death at such a young age?..." Sakura knew what he was doing. Gauging her reaction and seeing if she would fight him when it needed to be done. Making sure the things he enjoyed about her were all still there in a familiar place. She would respect his wishes when he did things for their best interest, but when something didn't sound right, she let him know. "Sometimes, your mind-games are really annoying."
Jack reached up to grab her shoulders, pulling him down against him. The pinkette shifted around, trying to get comfortable as she laid her head against his chest. His heart was still beating fast, just like earlier. Was he always so wound up in one way or another? Did he ever really relax and let his guard down? Perhaps he couldn't and learned that a long time ago. Once he lets it all go, something comes to try to rip everything away from him. He must be worried about that happening again, especially with the mess he's embroiled himself in.
"That's one of the many things I like about you. You won't take my shit, but you still listen to the crap that comes out of my mouth. Before, no one else listened to me... Now, everyone does everything I say, without a second thought. I need someone who can be honest with me that I don't feel like stabbing when they admit that I'm annoying." Sighing, he ran his hand through her hair, knowing she was listening carefully.
"For years... I was alone, because I'd just keep comparing everyone to you. Even though you were supposed to be dead, I... I guess I just really couldn't get over it, no matter how much I tried to force myself to. It haunted me, day in and day out.. Thinking you died all alone, because I went on a stupid job for some damn money. It drove me mad. I blamed myself, Sherri, Todd, the cops, Gotham... Everyone and everything."
Sakura felt her chest tighten painfully from listening to him. She glanced up to watch him while he spoke. He was staring up at the sky, his eyes far-away, like he wasn't here anymore. It almost seemed like he was talking to himself instead of confessing to the woman against his chest. Maybe it made it easier for him to do that by spacing-out and visually focusing on something other than her. This was the first time he really talked about anything that happened back then. Whenever the subject was brought up, he always tried distracting her or switching the conversation to something entirely different. Between the two of them, he was the one who took the brunt of what happened. Most of the pain from it all was his, not hers. She was only feeling the after-effects, just a small spray from the tsunami that bombarded him.
The lump in her throat was building back up, feeling guilty for all that's happened. She was the one who changed the course his life took, even if it wasn't on purpose. There was no excuse for the terrible acts he's committed, there was no denying that. The majority of the people who lost their lives because of him had absolutely nothing to do with what occurred seven years ago. Despite all of that, she could never bring herself to despise him, not the way the rest of the city does.
Her green eyes stared at the man holding her, getting a good look at him. He hated it when she tried doing that, almost like he was concerned she might see that monster everyone spoke of. Maybe he really was a monster... One who loved manipulating people and unleashing his anger on them, that couldn't handle his own short-comings and failures, punishing others for it. He was full of an unbridled rage and hatred that burned black, wanting to incinerate everything around him. There was a blood-lust that was never quenched and a hunger for destruction and mayhem that couldn't be sated. To the rest of society, the Joker deserved a terrible, slow and agonizing death to make-up for all his crimes. Those he's already committed and the one's he's planning.
But to Sakura, she just saw Jack...gazing up at the night sky, lazily running his fingers through her pink hair.
"So... What were you going to do? I mean, if we hadn't run into each other that day? What would have happened to you?" She couldn't resist asking one of the questions that's been plaguing her since finding out who he actually was. It wasn't often he'd talk or willing to answer anything, but he seemed to be letting out far more than she would have expected. Perhaps he was still in the sharing mood...
"Hah... Just keep doin' what I do best 'till someone with enough balls or brains could kill me. If I'm goin' down, it's gonna mean something ." He had no value on his own life, aside from the message he was sending out to the world. A man who pulls off what he does couldn't have much sense of self-preservation. No one would be able to kill him until what he was actually doing was clear as day. Whether it was spelled out in flames or the fireworks he enjoys so much.
"That...really makes me sad." They sat in silence, just lying on the ground. Both were deep in thought, running on different tracks in their minds. Sakura turned her head back to look at him, grateful he let her have a small sneak peak into his mind. She hoped that someday, even if it isn't her, that he could find something that made him want to live. Really live. Not just trying to get revenge or pay the world back for being so unfair. He deserved to find happiness, some sort of inner-peace to the turmoil that drove him to become so twisted. Anything that could bring dispel the angry storm always brewing inside of him.
"Ya know, nothing lasts forever. Not money... Not lives... Nothing. Eventually, everything burns..."
