A/N: This chapter is a bit dark with violence and mental issues. If you're sensitive to those kinds of things... Sayonara!
Just a heads up, this takes place five years before the current story arc and I reworked this on 5/25, so it's fresh if you think you've already read this.
"Kchsss!" A scrawny alley cat hissed as it jumped out of a cardboard box, irate that it's sleep was interrupted by a glass bottle smashing next to it. The filthy, flea-bitten feline curled its back up, spitting at the person staggering by.
"Boo!" The small creature took off with its fur puffed out, frightened of man coming closer, breaking another empty bottle under his boot.
"Tch! Stupid fucking cat..." Jack watched the animal dart down the littered street, curling his lip up in a sneer. That's how everything acts around here and for good reason. Most of the animals in this area were either born in the streets or abandoned pets. People aren't kind to them. Drunks threw bottles, drivers run them over, punks mess with them just for fun. No wonder they hightail it or lash out.
Swaying as he walked down the dirty alley, Jack took another swig from the liquor bottle in his grasp. Despite the job going well, it still didn't lift his mood any. The men he paid to do the grunt work were sitting in a bar, celebrating and throwing their money around, splurging on drinks and women.
Tonight, just like every other night, he didn't feel even the slightest bit like there was anything to celebrate about. Especially, today of all days... It was on this night, two years ago, that he lost everything.
Gritting his teeth, Jack dragged his boots across the broken pavement. He was in disbelief that it's already been two years, it didn't feel like that much time's passed by. Everyday seemed the same anymore... A vicious cycle that continued to go on and on, never-ending with no conclusion in sight.
His head was starting to spin when he stumbled down another street, finding himself walking under one of the many bridges that ran through Gotham. This was where men like him belonged... Hidden in the shadows of the night. If anyone walked by, the darkness would hide his face, avoiding the looks of disgust and fear from people who dared passing by. Lately, it's become something he thoroughly enjoyed...but tonight, he just wanted to be left alone.
'Sakura... It's been two years already...Huh?'
Leaning up against the cold brick wall on unsteady feet, he decided to rest there for a while, until moving on. A sigh left his ruined lips, the frigid air giving it form as it floated up into thin whips. It was starting to get cold, but that didn't matter. He couldn't feel a thing. Clumsily reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, needing a smoke to take the edge off.
"Yep... Been a while, hasn't it?" Running a hand through his dirty blonde, Jack grimaced at the sweet voice taunting him. His head lulled from one side to the other, wanting to get rid of it, but afraid of it leaving. Taking the smoke between his lips and flicking the lighter, he quickly lit the cigarette and took a long drag, enjoying the burn in his throat and lungs. It was one of the very few things that could possibly relax his nerves.
Day after day, cooped up in dark warehouses and shady motel rooms, he worked tirelessly at his craft. Drawing up intricate plans, taking apart and reassembling various weapons, tinkering with wires and batteries, seeing what he can make with them, reading everything he could get his hands on. Knowledge was always power. If he was going to do this, it was for real... Nothing could be done half-assed, that's how people found themselves locked up faster. No one was going to get in his way, not after going this far. The point of no return had already been passed a long time ago and there really was no going back now. There was nothing waiting for him on the other side.
This is all there is now, until Death comes swinging his scythe
Jack quickly noticed the difference between him and the others who dabbled in the underground. Those fools weren't able to see the things he could. Most didn't have the ability to put the pieces together or think fast. The majority of the men he encountered were just hired muscle. All brawn and no brains. Jobs weren't able to be considered a success, unless there was someone to strategize a plan and organize everything from start to finish.
Jack isn't some run-of-the-mill thug, like they were. He can always see the bigger picture so clearly, while they could barely make out a blurred edge. From all the years of having to deal with men like that in The Narrows, his experiences had practically drawn up a blueprint on how to deal with and out-think these morons.
This all started after spending a few weeks living in the warehouse a couple blocks from the currently demolished apartment building he grew up in. Seeing the newspaper article claiming that Gotham's safe and the crime rate was at an all-time low, completely set him off. It was apparent that no one outside the center of the city had any idea what's going on. They're either blissfully unaware or just printing lies to make the politicians coming up for reelection look better than they really are to garner votes.
It didn't matter which, he's not letting this shit-show continue... Not in his city.
Everything in Gotham is corrupt. From it's 'supposed' leaders, to the police meant to protect the citizens, all the way down the food-chain, towards the underground. People with any common sense, who weren't being paid off, could see with their own eyes that the crime rate was rising at an alarming rate.
Most cops only gave their services to anyone in The Narrows if they were being paid off in some way. Money, drugs, prostitutes...whatever worked. It was their fault that so many people were being hurt, raped, or killed, who had nothing to do with the crimes the gangsters were committing. No one was willing to put a stop to any of the shit going on, so The Narrows became an oasis for these men to do whatever they pleased. The rich and powerful never stepped a foot in this direction and as long as they didn't see what was happening or it didn't affect their business, they couldn't care less.
If someone took a stand and did something, scumbags-like Todd-would've been off the streets a long time ago. The only reason he was able to pull his shit, was because he sold drugs for someone that had multiple officers assigned to this part of the district under his payroll. There were countless men like that in this corner of the city. More than anyone could count, like fucking cockroaches.
And no one cares...
A young woman was stabbed and fell from a fire escape, smashing her skull and left to die on the pavement... And guess wha-t? Not a single article in any of the papers, nothing on the news, no obituary. Nothing. Before he returned home from that job and burnt the building down in a rage, Sakura's body had already been taken away. After that, it was almost like she never even existed in the first place.
No funeral, no knowledge of where her body's buried, not even a name on a piece of paper in the section of the graveyard for the poor and homeless. There were people whose names couldn't be found when no one claimed the body, so their resting place was tagged as 'Unknown'.
After going to the hospital to find out any information about where Sakura's body was taken, the staff was useless. Going to the police station wasn't an option, they weren't on his side. One of the people from the scene that he tracked down later, who 'talked', said an ambulance from Gotham General came and took her away. So, that's where he went...
It was only when he became irate to the point of the staff calling security, that one of the doctors tried to calm the situation down and pulled him aside. An older man with gray hair, Dr. Wells. He explained that he was the one to see the body when it was brought in, remembering her clearly because of the strange hair color. Without any family left and no one claiming the body, she'd probably been dumped into one of the plots in the 'Unknown' section of the cemetery, with the other nameless dead. It was an assumption, and he claimed not to know for sure.
The urge to cut the doctor's throat was overwhelming... Sakura wasn't some nameless trash they found on the street. There was someone who cared about her, that needed to try to say goodbye. At least if he knew where she was, he could go to her... They'd always together all these years, side by side. Not only did she have to die alone, but now he couldn't even be beside her in death.
What a useless man...
Jack couldn't help being infuriated at the way the world kept turning, like nothing happened. After everything she owned went up in flames when he torched the building, there was nothing left of Sakura, except the charm around his neck and the memories he carried with him. The only thing mentioned anywhere was about the apartment building burning down and the people who died in it. Not a single word about her, even though it happened in the same night, at the same location.
Just like him and everyone else who didn't matter in The Narrows, she was lost and forgotten. If the pinkette was the daughter of a businessman or politician, it would be all over the papers. She would have had an obituary and a funeral. Her body wouldn't have been tossed into a wooden box and buried somewhere among the sea of nobodies in the cemetery. He could have found her resting place...
'Sakura wasn't nameless or 'unknown'... She was a human being, just those scumbags living it up in this city.'
Gotham was a better place? It was safe? The politicians and police were doing everything they could? He would reveal their true identities. They weren't any different than the nameless people they stepped over on their way to work.
In order to get anything done, he would need cash...and lots of it. Money, weapons, power, and men... All of the things that have been driving Gotham to become this way. No one likes to be faced with reality. Lies were always easier to deal with than the truth...
It started out with robbing a few stores on his own. Jobs that small weren't hard at all. Anything he did was never half-baked. All scenarios, even the unlikely ones, were all taken into account. That first job, from the night Sakura passed away, gave him a taste of what it was like. It didn't take long to get the hang of it. Before long, he could predict what would happen and his mind worked fast enough, that he was able to work around any unforeseen circumstances.
After the first few hits, it started to become enjoyable... Watching how he was able to overcome things around himself that weren't part of his plans, just by using instinct and quick wit. It was all Jack could do to distract himself from the throbbing pain in his chest.
Money started piling in, that mostly went to more weapons... He became infatuated with them. Unlike people, they never lied or left on their own. They always stayed by his side and could pull the truth from a person in seconds. Seeing the fear in someone's eyes when he aimed a gun or knife at them, gave him a rush he never experienced before. That look... Not knowing if they were going to die in the next minute and filled with terror. The sight made his blood sing, swimming and boiling at the same time.
The thrill gave him life in a dead world.
People shooting at him, while he escaped with their money or supplies, was absolutely exhilarating... They wanted to kill him almost as much as he wanted to murder them. Thing could take a turn for the worst in a split-second, never knowing when it was his turn to bite the bullet. It was easier to try pushing away those haunting memories when someone was trying to put a round in his back.
When it was finally over and his heart rate went back to normal, the high would wear off... Leaving him feeling empty all over again. The only thing to do was go further and bigger. In order to do that, he needed hands... It wasn't hard in The Narrows to find men who needed money and were willing to do anything for it. People were willing to suck dick for ten bucks, so helping to pull off a heist to make hundreds of times that amount was a tempting offer. Depending on the situation, someone could end up dying doing either, so might as well go with the bigger payoff.
Stealing cars, raiding trucks for cargo, robbing small banks and drug dealers... As soon as the excitement wore off, they would always go bigger and wouldn't stop. The thugs he hired were always in awe at his 'odd' way of doing things. At first, they would complain that it couldn't possibly work, and he was crazy. A bullet later, the rest would fall in line and see how well his 'craziness' played out when they took off with their loot.
Jack had no qualms about killing his own men when they got in the way. No one was allowed to slow them down or cause an issue. If a cop cornered or nabbed one of them by chance, he never hesitated to turn around and put a bullet in both of their heads to keep them quiet. If there was enough time, it would be more creative... He's already killed plenty of people, even his own father. Not once did he ever lose any sleep over it.
Maybe he really was a monster, like all the whispers around the streets were saying, but he didn't care. The scars on his face alone scared them long before his words and actions could. No one understood the way his mind worked, it was just wired differently. They couldn't comprehend how far ahead of the curve he was compared to them.
The men he hired referred to him as "Boss" and he preferred it that way. No one knew who he really was, and they never would. Jack felt like an old identity that died two years ago. It took some time getting into the police and city's systems to destroy any paper trails or evidence that proved his existence. Through word of mouth, he tracked down someone who could teach him these skills. A brilliant hacker that enjoyed money almost as much as the cyberspace. With the right amount of cash, this man was willing to show him anything he needed, and Jack wanted to know it all.
They don't have computers sitting around in The Narrows, except a few at school or the library and he barely touched them. Experience in every field was necessary if his long-term plans were going to successful. Even if he despised the internet and most technology, he had to learn it to have an edge on the enemy and the world was completely run by it. Banking accounts, security systems, surveillance cameras, everything. It was a long and tedious process, but it paid off. With the right knowledge, anyone could make themselves disappear. No criminal record, birth certificate, social security number. Now, he was nameless...unknown. The same way Sakura was in the eyes of this shit-filled city.
"Goddammit..." Letting his head fall back against the brick wall, he brought the bottle back up to his scarred lips, taking another long swig. Normally he tried to keep a clear head, but tonight was different. He would let the torment swallow him whole... After all, he deserved every bit of it.
"Jack... This isn't like you. Put the bottle down, please..." He winced at the woman's voice. It always came out of nowhere, unexpectedly... Never when he was aching to hear it, during those rare times he was trying to escape. This must have been part of the punishment.
"No. You won't talk to me when I need you to." Anger surged through his veins as he tipped the bottle back, letting the harsh liquor burn its way down his throat. It spilled down the marred corners of his mouth, dripping onto his clothing without a single care. Sucking in a harsh breath, he leaned forward and wiped his chin with the sleeve of his expensive coat.
"... Always doing whatever you want, even now." If felt like the bridge was spinning around as he shook his head, trying to focus. How much longer can this carry on for? Couldn't he even catch a break and get drunk for once? For one night, he wanted to relax, let all the tension and stress on his shoulders melt away. Everyone else does it. They all worked hard, some more than others, but no one did more than him. So, why could his men enjoy themselves and celebrate, while he was left alone to agonize over someone who didn't exist anymore? "No matter what I do, it's never enough! Hmm?!"
"...Jack... I'm s-"
"Don't Jack me! You're never there when I need you! I'm tired of this... I can't fucking take it anymore!" Why did she only come to torture him? Didn't she realize what this was doing to him? It's been two years and everything still hurt, like a knife in the chest. That would have been preferable to this... He couldn't hear her when he wanted to. Couldn't she see how lonely he was? How much he still needed her?
No matter who was around, nothing was ever the same. No one knew who Jack really was, and he didn't want them to. He was now the "Boss" who struck fear into people with a single glance. If he showed anything other than that, he would lose his place at the top he enjoyed so much. That's who he is now. There was a reputation to uphold, one that was starting to long proceed him.
Only Sakura knew the real Jack. After a while, that person was becoming a stranger, even if it was the same body. The pinkette was the only part left of the man he used to be, and she's gone from this world for years, taking Jack with her. He missed being able to hold onto someone and share everything with them.
Instead of having her body wrapped around him and running her hands through his messy hair in bed, the only things that surrounded him were guns, blood, and money. There were plenty of women who came around with his men who wanted to cling to that cash and power, but he despised them all. It was just a reminder of what runs this world. It filled him with a deep hatred, a fire burning so hot, it turned black. In those rage-fueled moments, that's when his blood lust would rear its beautiful head. Always lurking around, just beneath the surface, waiting to rip through and take everyone with it.
Those whore's acted like he couldn't see the way their eyes widened or the terror-stricken expressions, even if it was only for a split-second, when they saw his face. Any of the hookers that were brought around were only willing to "look past the scars" in order to make some money or raise their position by hanging off of him. They understood what could come from trying to please him. Money, jewels, expensive clothes, protection on the streets, fear and respect. All the things these women desired. Just wanting to lie around like a bunch of cows being pampered. It would take a lot more than a little pussy to reel him in. No one was going to use him for their own benefit. No one... Even if he was lonely and needy. He was still a man after all, but he refused to be a pawn for the order Gotham has set...
The only thing these greedy sluts usually got from him was a blade, ear to ear. He had no qualms with doing it either. Half the time, they were trying to steal shit, thinking that no one was watching. Unfortunately for those women, he sees everything. If they wanted a shiny necklace so badly, he was more than willing to give it to them. A nice, red one as their blood spilled from their throats. If he had nothing, they wouldn't even look his way...especially with the scars.
If only he could find another Sakura...but there isn't. No one had pink hair that wasn't dyed. Not a single person with a violet rhombus on their forehead. There wasn't a single soul that actually knew him, who could call him out when he needed it. Everyone was too afraid, but for good reason. It felt useless trying with other women, because he instantly compared them to her and no one lived up to the standard to catch his interest. They were too busy either trying to kiss his ass or looked scared.
Sakura never did any of that shit...
It was because of her that he couldn't move on or settle for less. Always haunting him from some dark corner, making sure he never forgot. Constantly ripping him apart, stabbing the knife deeper and twisting it in his chest. But... It was his fault that she wasn't here, because he failed. Even if it hurt beyond belief, he'd accept the pain for his sins. It was unbearable, but that was the least he could do for letting her die. Trash like him didn't deserve to be happy, not when someone like her couldn't be alive. The only person who wanted to be with him when he had nothing, scars and all.
"You're driving me insane! Why can't you make up your damn mind already? Either stay with me or go the hell away! Stop coming and going when you fucking feel like it!" He was angry. If she would just stay, that would be enough to help fill that endless void. Nothing else could do it, he's already tried. No matter how much money he stole or people he killed, that empty space was always there. It was only when she came, that it wasn't so apparent there was a gaping hole where his heart used to be.
"I'm sorry... I'm really sorry..." That's what she always said when he was angry enough to yell. He didn't want her apology, just to stop tormenting him. "I'm going... Just don't drink yourself to death... I don't want anything to happen to you."
His dark eyes widened when the words sunk in. Trying to push off of the wall, his head spun as he tried forcing his feet move forward. The liquor was knocking him off balance, making his movements slow and unsteady.
"W-Wait!" Gripping the bottle hard, Jack threw it against one of the stone pillars holding the bridge up. It shattered into pieces, glass flying in every direction as the little bit of alcohol that was left stained the concrete below. "No more bottle! I'm done drinking!" Panic set in when she didn't say anything. Looking back and forth in the dark shadows beneath the bridge, he realized no one was there. He couldn't hear her voice anymore. "Sakura! Wait! I didn't mean it... C'mon..." His ears perked up, listening carefully for any sounds. Part of him was holding out hope that she might change her mind, that maybe she'll ignore his angry words, like she has before.
Nothing...
"Please! Don't go... You can do whatever you want, I swear!" Running his hands through his sweaty hair, Jack clenched his jaw, waiting impatiently to hear her voice again. Why did he have to yell at her? It always made her upset.. He should have known better than to do that.
Falling back against the brick wall, Jack shook his head in disbelief that he let himself get so drunk. Most of his men always seemed to enjoy doing it, having a great time in the process. Getting wild, fighting with each other, screwing around with the women they brought. Why couldn't he do the same? Right now, they were probably tearing the bar to shreds in the chaos, while he's sitting under a bridge, feeling like a sorry asshole. Even if he went along, he still felt separate and detached, like he might as well not even be there. Maybe that'll change some day. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he tried to clear everything from his mind.
'Fuck it. I don't care anymore...'
What was the point of this anyway? All he was doing was driving himself insane. It's not like Sakura will suddenly return if he patiently waits for her or acts like a good little boy. No one comes back once their dead. No one...
"I'm done... Don't care. Whatever happens, happens... So be it. You don't want to be with me, then fucking fine!" Running his tongue along his scars, he let his head lull back and forth, trying to convince himself to do whatever he wants. That's what she does after all...
Jack didn't know how long he's been standing there, leaning against those cold bricks. Being completely wasted makes time feel nonexistent. If he was going to make it back that shitty motel room, he had to wait until he felt a little more sober. As much fun as dodging cars in the street might have been, he'd probably end up sleeping on a sidewalk somewhere and being found by someone he'd rather not deal with in a drunk stupor.
"Shit..." His head was a complete mess, unable to focus on one thing at a time.
"Ya okay there, handsome?" Looking up in the direction the woman's voice was coming from, Jack narrowed his eyes and tried to focus, despite the blur making it difficult. He was partially in the shadows, so how could she tell what he even looked like?
'Hooker. They say whatever pet name they think ya wanna hear...'
Jack didn't response to the question, quietly listening to her heels clicking against the concrete as she approached. He squinted when the slender form stepped out into the streetlight. The woman leaned forward with her arms behind her back, a wolfish grin spreading across her face. She was wearing a small red tube top that showed off her slim waist, barely high enough to cover her breasts. They weren't huge, but more than enough to fill one of his hands.
'They're real... Most of these chicks go for implants these days...'
Jack let his eyes wander over her body, not caring anymore. Sakura didn't want him, then fine. He'll do as he pleases, just like she does. It's been two years since he enjoyed the company of a woman, far too long for any man who isn't in prison.
Looking from her perky breasts and down to the incredibly short skirt barely reaching the top of her thighs, he swallowed hard. She had just the right amount of hip and tit he desired. Long, pale legs that went on forever, until reaching the black stilettos that'd been making so much racket. He knew he was too drunk. Any other time he would've heard the clanking sound, before a single word left her lips.
This was bad...
Putting a hand on her curvy hip, the woman took off the paperboy cap she was wearing and shook out her long, bright orange locks. Without a second thought, the hat was tossed onto the sidewalk, stepping over it like trash she didn't need anymore.
Biting the inside of his lip, Jack felt himself getting hot watching her. It's been too long to go without a woman... His hand just wasn't enough anymore. There was always had a hunger that was never satisfied, scratching just beneath the surface and wanting to get out. Sakura always filled that desperate need, but she's gone... Why should everyone else get to enjoy themselves, but not him? He fucking worked hard enough for it.
'The only thing this little fox is missing is a pair of torn fishnet stockings, then the look would've been complete. Definitely a hooker...'
Stepping forward, the redheads hips swayed as she got closer. There was no denying she was good-looking, no matter what she wanted.
"I got the time, if ya got the money, hot stuff." Her thick New York accent grated on his ears, but that can be overlooked as long as she kept her mouth shut. This woman didn't need to talk, just do whatever he wanted and get the hell out of his face. He can agonize over this later, when he's sitting alone in the motel room. Right now, nothing else really mattered.
"Money's not a problem... Not anymore." Her eyes lit up at his words, making him internally scoff. Everyone was the same... This didn't mean anything. At this moment, Jack was kind of glad he was so shit-faced. He could just fuck this woman and not have to think too much about it. She wanted his money, and he wanted to get his rocks off.
"That's great to hear, handsome..." Stepping forward, she moved closer into the shadows that were hiding him. Bright blue eyes stared up at him, trying to get a look at him, despite the darkness covering the upper half of his body. The street light didn't react this far under the bridge. "I have one rule. No kissing on the mouth. Is that okay with you?"
With the drunken fog hanging over him, he really didn't give a shit. Why would he want to kiss a prostitute? Who knows how many cocks those lips have been wrapped around in the last few hours. That was considered to be more intimate, something most didn't engage in during these acts. They were just fucking anyway, it wasn't like this was a date or anything. They didn't need to know each others names, exchange numbers, or even care if one of them was hit by a car when they were done. So, what did it matter to him?
"I couldn't care less..." Jack eyes closed when the street worker moved closer to him than anyone has in the last two years. His head fall back, letting the euphoria from the liquor and the woman's scent wash over him.
'Flowers... She smells like flowers...'
A pale finger trailed up along his shirt, feeling the muscles from his abdomen to his chest jump under her touch. Small hands smoothed over his broad shoulders, sliding his coat off. It fell by his feet, the same way she cast aside her cap. Forgotten and thrown away...
"Ya have a nice body under that shirt, darlin'. Couldn't tell from where I was standin', but I definitely can feel them..." The small woman leaned up as much as she could to kiss and bite his neck, making the breaths pushing through his ruined lips become ragged. Slim fingers grasped the top button of his shirt. "Ya really drank quite a bit, huh?"
"Would you shut up? And don't take my shirt off." His voice deepened in agitation, not wanting to let her make this personal. He didn't need to take his clothes off for this and didn't want her looking at the scars on his torso. This woman was just a hole to fuck and he didn't need her freaking out and ruining his mood. She quickly let go of the button, rubbing her hands along his chest instead.
"Bossy, aren't you? I gotcha..." The woman went back to kissing his neck, nibbling on the exposed skin above his collar. Jack felt his heart starting to pound against his chest and head, letting his drunkenness completely take over, so he could enjoy this.
Keeping his head tilted back, he let it lull from one side to the other, trying to keep his eyes closed. He was so needy, it didn't matter anymore. Blood rushed through every part of his body as her pale hands caressed over his abdomen, pink lips running along the column of his neck. Reaching out, Jack roughly grasped her hips, bringing the small woman even closer. He wanted to take in more of that floral scent. It was his favorite...
'She smells so good...'
Calloused fingers ran along her creamy white skin, enjoying the feel of it in his grasp. Always so smooth and unbelievably soft to the touch. He could never get enough. Everything in him was screaming for more, wanting to devour this woman entirely and leaving nothing left behind. Those same feeling that urged him on before, turning him into a feral mess with no sense of reason.
"Hahh..." A soft groan left his lips when her slender hands ran down from his abdomen, to the front of his pants. This was agonizing, making him succumb to the throbbing pain that's been gnawing at him for so long. He needed this...desperately.
"Holy shit..." The nasally noise made him grimace, trying to block it out. The woman gently massaged him through his fabric, driving him crazy. A shudder ran through his body when she stroked his cock, biting the scar tissue on the inside of his cheek to hold himself back. He knew what she was doing. This was her way of teasing him, of dragging this out until he reached his breaking point. It was an act that always sent him reeling when she played these games, toying around with him to get him to bite.
Sweet noises left her pink lips when he pushed his pelvis towards her, grinding against the hold she had on him through his pants. A soft moan spilled from her lovely mouth as she stood back, quickly grabbing the bottom of her shirt to yank it over her head.
Jack gasped, eyes still closed when she took his hands and guided them to her chest. Allowing himself this little reprieve, he took her soft breasts in his palms, enjoying the weight of them in his hands. They always fit so perfectly. The way her nipples would harden from all the attention he gave them was exciting.
"Christ..." Slender fingers fiddled with the buckle on his belt, pulling it from around his hips as she yanked on it. Always so desperate to have him... All he wanted to do right now, was rip the rest of her clothing off and wrap those soft, lovely legs around his waist. He needed to be inside her, where he knew heaven waited for him. Nothing felt better in this world than being deeply embedded in this intoxicating woman.
Hands ran through his dirty blonde locks, tugging his head forward, forcing a drawn out moan from his ruined mouth. The wonderful scent and soft gasps from her pink lips were making him lose himself. Having those slender fingers grazing through his hair was his weakness. She knew how much he enjoyed it. That he couldn't resist it, no matter what kind of mood he found himself in.
Letting go of her breasts, Jack ran his fingers along her delicate face, trailing up towards her soft hair that hung loose down her shoulders. He liked it whichever way she wore it, but preferred when it down. There was no helping himself, he just enjoyed watching it sway back and forth along her back when she waked. Those silky locks that he wanted to wrap around his large fist, tugging her head back to have that sweet mouth say everything he ever wanted to hear.
"Jack..."
Pulling her head back, he quickly leaned forward, needing to taste those deliciously soft lips. It was almost instinct by this point, a frenzied urge that he never denied. He wanted it, needed to have every single bit. All of her. It was never enough, no matter how often they went through this. When he's had his fill and it no longer stirred anything inside of him, that's the day he'll know he know he's really lost his fucking mind. There was a bottomless pit to this hunger and no one, not even the man supposedly upstairs, could take that away.
A hand pushed hard against Jack's chest, stopping him abruptly.
"Hey, hey! I said no kissing!" The noise from the woman in front of him made his body freeze. Cracking open his lids, the redhead narrowed her blue eyes on him, thin lips pushed forward into a pout. She looked annoyed that he didn't listen to her warning, still tried it anyway. The smell of cigarettes and cotton candy body spray assaulted his nose, making him grimace.
No bright green orbs. No long, pink locks. No soft, pale skin that illuminated even in the darkest of paces. No soft voice that sounded like chimes in the wind, saying his name in a breathy song... It wasn't Sakura, like he tried to imagine. That he almost convinced himself of, if it wasn't for that big fucking mouth opening up just to complain. The only thing in front of him was a stupid whore with blue eyes, hair that was dyed bright orange, with tanned skin and a high-pitched New York accent.
"Get the fuck off me." The moment was already ruined, drunk or not. She completely shattered the image he carefully set up in his mind and now there was no getting back to it. He could already feel his cock softening in his pants, which only served to fuel his unbridled anger. The woman's eyes widened in confusion when he pushed her back, shifting him jaw from one side to the other. Now he was to have to find another way to satisfy his urges and that usually resorted to violence.
'Fucking whore ruined everything. I should strangle her with that ugly orange hair.'
"W-What? What's your problem? You said it was fine!" The redhead was agitated, grabbing her top from off the side walk and pulling it over her head. "If we're not gonna fuck, then you better pay what you owe me and for wasting my damn time."
Jack narrowed his eyes at the woman who stood there, crossing her arms and huffing indignantly. Shaking his head to try clearing up his mind and sober up a little more, he cursed under his breath, reaching into his pants pocket. Pulling his hand out, he crinkled up and tossed a ten at her. It smacked her straight in the forehead and fell onto the ground. Quickly she bent down to pick the bill up. Clicking his tongue, Jack quickly grabbed his off the ground, smacking away the dirt that got on it.
"Are you fucking kidding me?! There better be at least another hundred to go with this!" Stomping her heels on the ground, the woman fumed, clearly not finding this as amusing as he did.
"You said to pay what I owe you and for wasting your time. That's what I did..." A chuckle left his lips when her face twisted in anger. This might've not gone as intended, but seeing how enraged she's becoming was an entertaining turn of events. After all... He was angry too.
"Son of a bitch! You piece of shit! Who do you think you're fucking with!" Grabbing the front of his collared shirt, she yanked him forward into the light under the street lamp. "You think I can go back to Marcus with fucking ten-" The redhead's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. Letting go of him, a shaky hand reached towards her open mouth. The angry look vanished as horror spread across her features, the blood draining from her face. Now she looked closer to the complexion he was hoping for.
"HAHAHAWOHAHA!" Jack howled with laughter watching her blue eyes trace the terrible scars around his mouth. Seeing her reaction was bringing out the worst in him. The blood lust he always carried with him was starting to itch, clawing its way from his mind towards the surface.
"M-Monster!" Without even glancing at her cap, the woman took off, dragging her heels across the cement in her attempt to escape. Jack laughed, musing if that was as fast as a hooker in stilettos could actually go. Before he could chase after her, Jack's head spun, halting his pursuit. Stumbling back, he dropped against the brick wall, sliding down towards the ground.
'I shouldn't have drank that much...'
"GODDAMMIT!" He couldn't even catch a half-naked woman on stilts with how drunk he still is. It was infuriating... Why did he even do this in this first place? Hanging his head low, the only way he was going to sober up was to sit here and wait to come back down to Earth. It wasn't as bad after that little...mishap... At least he could see straight now and the spinning was starting to slow down. Maybe he'd be able to get off this ride soon.
Seeing the redhead's reaction to his scars only flamed his hatred, but that was his intention by letting her pull him into the light. If one thing could clear his head, it was the intense anger that those looks caused. Right now, he really wanted to kill that woman... When he's back to normal, she was at the tippy-top of the list.
Jack sat there grinding his teeth, mulling over different ways to end that stupid whore. Even though he was wasted, it felt like a trick. The smell, the feel, the sounds... He could have sworn it was someone else. What the hell's wrong with him? Is this how low he's fallen? To let a hooker trying to get his money do whatever she pleased? If he hadn't been so enthralled in his own fantasy, he would've cut that bitches fingers off when she felt over the wad of money through his pocket. If she tried reaching in to snag it, he would have broken each one.
"Everyone's the fucking same..." Money, money, money. It enraged him how obsessed the world was over it.
"You're no different."
Snapping his head up, Jack's eyes widened as looked around wildly. Guilt clawed at his stomach hearing those words coming from her mouth. What the hell did he do? Now she was never going to stay with him. He fucked up like he always did, but this time was worse. She saw it, he knows she did. A lump formed in his throat from the panic sweeping over him, feeling like was was caught red-handed. This was the one time he would have preferred her seeing him with red hands, compared to what he just did.
"...I can't believe you..." Running his hands through the dirty blonde waves hanging over his face, he didn't know what he was going to do now. This was bad, really fucking bad. She could've forgiven him for anything else, but this? No way... No way in hell. He was permanently in the doghouse with a chain around his neck. Only no one was coming to feed or pet him.
"I know. I know... I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry..."
"Talking to yourself, you crazy asshole?" Looking up from where he was seated on the ground, two people were walking towards him from the opposite end under the bridge. Squinting his eyes, the bright orange hair stuck out first. A short stocky man with tan skin was stalking next to the prostitute that ran away. Shifting his head to the side, he wasn't sure if they came quickly, or he's been sitting there for a while. "Ya think you can fuck with one of my girls? And steal from me? Huh?" The Hispanic man strode up fast, his shoulders wide to make his body look bigger than it really was.
"Hmm..." Jack grinned looking at the short man. He wasn't intimidated, not in the least. What could he really do to him? Beat him up? Kill him? It didn't matter. There wasn't much that could hurt him anymore.
"Something funny bastard? Ya don't mess with my girls or my money!" The man ran up, swinging his leg and kicking him in the mouth, making Jack's head smash into the brick wall. "Not so funny anymore is it?" Standing over him, the pimp looked down, making a disgusted expression when he saw his face. "Jesus Christ..."
He couldn't feel anything from being drunk still. Even when he's sober, he had one hell of a tolerance for pain, so this was nothing. It was like a mosquito bite compared to the real shit he's been through. One scar on his chest brought more out of him than this losers swing. A smile pulled at the corners of his ruined mouth, infuriating the pimp even further.
"Hahahaha!" A dribble of blood ran down his chin from the blow to the face. This was hilarious! It was exactly what he deserved right now.
"Is this funny? What are you a fucking clown or something? Freak!" Crouching over him, the man brought his fist down hard against his face.
"Get him, Marcus. That guys a nut! There's a bunch of money in his pocket. I felt it!" The redhead yelled, hesitantly stepping closer. Seeing her pimp pummeling him into the round must've given the whore a little more confidence, thinking she was safe and there was nothing to be afraid of anymore.
Jack couldn't help laughing his ass off... This was nothing, he barely even felt it. The more he chuckled, the more irate the man became, punching him over and over again. He's pretty sure his nose was broken, but he could fix it later.
"What the hell is wrong with this guy?..." Marcus' eyes widened in disbelief, staring down at the bleeding man who was still grinning. It was really starting to freak him out. "Okay... If you don't feel that, I know you'll feel this, you freak." Reaching into his pocket, the pimp pulled out a switchblade. The smooth edge glistened in the light, drawing Jack's eyes up towards it in appreciation. "All ya had ta do was give her the money, fuckhead. Ya wanna disrespect me? Steal from me? Then sit there and laugh? How about I make that smile reach up to your eyes? Whoever did it screwed up!"
Dark eyes widened seeing the blade coming towards his mouth...
Marcus yelled out in shock when he was flipped over, the blade being ripped out of his grasp and slicing his palm open. Blood ran down his wrist as he hit the ground, not knowing what just happened. He looked around quickly, confused about what was going on.
"Arghhh! He screamed when the blade dug into his abdomen, shock painted across his face. It happened so fast, there wasn't time to register anything. Glancing up towards the person looming over him, he trembled seeing the wide, dark eyes staring down at him wildly. Liquid filled his mouth when the knife shredded across his stomach, ripping him open. His brown eyes shook, falling into shock while blood poured from his mouth. The pain was unbearable, but he couldn't scream from his throat filling up, blocking his airway.
"Oh my GOD!" The redhead screamed, backing away and trying not to throw up. Her entire body trembled, fear taking root in the center of her being. In these instances, people usually have a 'fight or flight' instinct, but all that went straight out the window. She was too scared to move a muscle, in disbelief at what she was seeing. Marcus was the nastiest man she knew, who kept his subordinates and prostitutes in line with with his heavy-handed, vicious ways. None of them had the guts to stand up to him... And this...freak...just eviscerated him. Gutting Marcus like a fish on the sidewalk with his own switchblade, the one that was used to threaten them all with. Her legs shook, threatening to give out beneath her. She needed to run, to get away and warn the others about this psycho.
"AHhaHAAAhaa!" Jack cackled as he brought his arm up and swung it down, slitting the man's face open. His blood lust was surging through his veins, bringing him the ecstasy he desperately craved. Watching the man's eyes staring up at him in horror gave him a thrill that made goosebumps spread over his tan skin. This was what he was looking for in the absence of his true desires. No woman's mouth or pussy could bring him the sense of satisfaction or pleasure that killing did. The human body couldn't excite him unless he could rip it to shreds. "Now was this worth it, little man? All over ten bucks?"
Taking a beating was one thing, but no one touches the scars around his mouth. No one...
Turning his head as he sat over the dying man, a smile spread across his face when the woman jumped, noticing him looking at her. The only thing she had for protection was lying in a pool of his own blood. Trembling like a leaf, she took a step backwards, crying out when Jack bolted up. Looking around for the chance that someone might be around, her hopes were dashed and met with only dreadful disappointment. There wasn't a soul around. She took off down the street seeing that it was just the two of them now.
The adrenaline was sobering him up real fast. This was the high he needed, not the alcohol. Seeing the terror on another's face, that desperation to live, the pure fear as their basic instincts went into overdrive... Now, that was a sight for sore eyes. There weren't many things as exhilarating as chasing someone down when they're in this state, trying to claw their way out of what they brought onto themselves. How primal they became to survive at any costs... It was beautiful to witness and experience. A work of violent art in the process and he was a professional. This is what he lived for, a true craft he was excellent at and thoroughly enjoyed.
"HAHAHAHAHA!" Seeing the woman desperately running and screaming out, he couldn't help laughing at the futility of it all. She didn't even realize she wasn't getting away. It was hilarious! He almost forgot from drinking to much earlier... Pulling a pistol out from the back of his waistband, he closed one eye as he watched her run. He didn't need to, but thought this would be more entertaining. If she just kicked those damn heels off, she might've made it to the corner at least...
Bang.
"Ahhhh! The redhead dropped when the bullet went through her calf, falling to the ground. Clutching the gushing wound, she panicked, sobbing from the pain in her leg. Looking back, her blue eyes widened at the sight of him languidly striding towards her, taking his time to relish the scene. In desperation to not end up like Marcus, the woman attempted to push herself up, only to fall back down in anguish. Not seeing any other options, she tried dragging her body across the street to get away from the fate that awaited her, tears streaming down her face and onto the pavement below.
Jack was feeling much better now. A few punches to the face would sober anyone up...or knock them out. His lip was busted and blood ran from his nose, but that didn't bother him. If anything, it just increased the rush he was getting from this act. It only took a second to crank his bridge back in place and it was good as new. That wasn't the first time someone broke it. Maybe he should pay it forward, isn't that the nice thing to do?
"P-Please! Don't!" The woman cried, trying to drag herself as far away from all of this as she could.
"At-ta-ta-ta! Where ya think you're going? Hmm?" Wrapping his large hand around her ankle, he pulled her across the pavement, making her scream out in pain. It was like music to his ears... Crouching over the trembling woman, he cocked his head to the side, looking down at her. "Was that supposed to be 'big, bad Marcus'? That's what you were threatening me with? Just looking at him, I didn't think he had any guts, but turns out he did!" He fell into a manic fit of laughter from mocking and jeering at the prostitute. Did she really think that stupid, little fool would take him out? Jack might not be as large as some of the men in this area, but he's stronger than he looks. That was one of the good things about it. That made people underestimate him, until it was too late.
The redhead covered her face with her shaking hands, sobbing hard as Jack watched the pathetic display. This was why he enjoyed using knives so much. He could savor all the little emotions, see what people were really like in their last moments. Some fought to the death, others curled up in a ball and cried.
"Shh...pumpkin! I'm not going to gut you. Calm down..." Grinning when she trembled and tried to stifle her crying, Jack lowered the knife as she hesitantly brought her hands away from tear-stained face.
"Y-You're gonna...let me g-go?" The hope in her voice made his dark eyes light up, noticing the way her shaking body relaxed, the trembling starting to slow down.
"No." As soon as the woman's hands were away from her eyes, he wrapped his hand around the back of her head, pulling her closer. Sticking the blade into her open mouth when she screamed, he carved the corner of her mouth, cutting through the facial muscles and scrapping against the bone. Dragging the knife up just below her eye sockets, he laughed at the sight of blood and saliva running down the side of her face. Blue eyes looked up, glazed over in shock, unable to even make a single noise other than the gurgling in her throat.
The muscle in his cheek jumped as he switched sides, giving her a matching set. After all, that's exactly what Marcus was about to do to him... This was all her fault. She ruined the night, said he was a monster and brought her pimp back to beat him to a bloody pulp. That bastard called him a freak twice. That was shit he did not put up with. Disrespect and insubordination aren't tolerate in any form. She was more than happy to watch him being torn open from her spot on the sidewalk. This was only fair, right?
Dark eyes stared down wildly at his artwork. This was the rush that pushed him to keep going.
"Sorry, toots. Ya need to be careful talking to strangers... Didn't your mother ever tell you that?... Well, I guess it's just an occupational hazard." Raising his arms up to his sides, he shrugged, letting her head smack against the hard pavement. Sighing, he stood up and wiped the blood off his face with the sleeve of his shirt.
All this over some fucking liquor... Gotta love Gotham.
Taking a few steps forward, Jack stopped in his tracks. Looking at the twitching woman on the ground, he decided it would be best to have a little mercy in him. After all, it was a special day. Kneeling down next to the redhead, she slowly turned her head, barely able to move from the pain and fluids running out onto the street. It seemed like she hardly registered that he came back. Tears ran down her pale skin, silently pleading for it to stop.
"... Jack..."
"I know. I know!" Gripping the blade, he put it to her throat and quickly slashed it. If he left her in this state, this woman would just suffer even longer, while waiting to bleed out. Blood poured down her neck, darkening the red tube top covering her chest. It was better this way. After all, he wasn't a monster... He knew the pain of having his face slashed open, though his tolerance was vastly different from the person dying next to him.
The twitching stalled when her chest stopped moving. Part of him felt relieved that she finally died. If she hadn't brought that pimp with the intention of beating or killing him, then stealing the money in his pocket, they probably would have lived. He might've even forgot what she looked like after sleeping the alcohol off.
Shaking his head, Jack stood up and looked down at the dead woman, sticking his tongue out to trace his scars. This could have been avoided if they used their brains, but it was a welcome reprieve from what he was dealing with.
"Fucking fake..." Shoving his hand down into his pocket, he pulled out a hundred dollar bill and tossed it to the side. It twirled through the air, fluttering down and landing in the pool of blood around her. "Thanks for your time, pumpkin. Go, ah, buy yourself somethin' nice."
Walking away from the body, dark eyes glanced over at the lump of a man under the bridge. There was no movement whatsoever. Marcus was already dead. Good riddance, even if he could have used a little more fun to take his anger out. He was seething inside at what happened, at what he did. Killing those two didn't make him feel bad, they deserved it for what they were going to do to him. He's murdered people for a lot less. Despite getting some of that vicious energy out that was bouncing around in his body, it didn't make him feel much better.
Jack was full of rage and contempt, but he wasn't entirely sure who it was directed at-himself or the prostitute.
"Fucking hell.." Reaching into his other pocket, he pulled out a phone in agitation.
"Boss?" A gruff voice answered on the other line.
"Rocco, get your ass out of the bar. I want you to take out some trash for me..."
Kicking open the door to the motel room, Jack trudged through despondently. His head was throbbing and the adrenaline from what happened under the bridge was long gone.
"Dammit! What the fuck did I do?!" Kicking his boots off after slamming the door shut, he was enraged at himself. Guilt and self-loathing gnawed at his insides. It wasn't from killing those two... It was because he felt like he betrayed Sakura... Just for something so stupid. The fact that it was the two-year anniversary of her death only made it worse.
Much worse...
Plopping down onto the bed, he ran his hands through his hair. What should he do now? This was unbearable, twisting his insides into a jumbled mess. Nothing he does usually makes him feel guilty, but this... This was tearing him apart, piece by piece. There was nothing that could change it, but that didn't make anything feel better at all. Part of him just felt lost, even with all the dealings and plans he had going on. There wasn't enough distraction. Something needed to fill that empty void that was consuming him.
It shouldn't have been that big of a deal. People often remarry even a year after their spouse passes away. That's nothing out of the ordinary. Everyone moves on eventually and it's been two years. That was more than enough time to grieve and start over.
So...why did he feel like this?
Why couldn't he be like everyone else? It should be easy, right? All he had to do was pick another woman, any one from the pool, and let them do everything they could to try pleasing him. Jack was in a position that had plenty to offer someone who caught his eye. Women in the underground didn't care too much about looks, just if he had what they needed. He wasn't that bad-looking, but the scars were a turn-off for most. Those chicks would overlook them to get what they wanted, he's seen it with his own eyes. Money, jewelry, power, protection. He could give a woman all of that, along with good sex, if he could get over himself.
If the table were turned and he was the one who died, on the job for instance... What would Sakura have done? Would she stay alone for years dwelling over him?
"Yes..."
Jack jumped back, hearing the voice coming from the corner of the room. Shifting on the mattress, every muscle in his body froze, dark eyes widening in shock.
Sitting on one of the chairs at the table, with her legs crossed, was Sakura. Green eyes stared at him as she propped her chin up against her fist, digging her elbow in the smooth surface.
His jaw dropped in disbelief. It was impossible... Then again, maybe it wasn't. There were stranger things going on in Gotham, things he refused to believe without seeing them firsthand. Sakura liked to come and go whenever she wanted, but hasn't actually showed herself up to this point. His heart pounded against his chest as he watched the pinkette, completely enthralled and entranced at the sight of her.
"S-Sakura... You came back. I thought you were angry at me..." Looking around wildly, Jack almost didn't know what to say. He was mind-blown, still a bit dazed from the drunken stupor from earlier and the shock to his system he was experiencing now. There was too any things swimming around in his head to pinpoint where to start. All he knew was that this was nothing short of a miracle. Maybe there really was someone upstairs listening to him, saw the immense suffering and decided he's been punished enough. He patted the empty space on the bed next to him, wanting her to come closer. Part of him was worried if he got up, she might leave again. "C'mere. Lay down with me... I missed you..."
"Are you kidding me?" Green eyes narrowed at him, turning into angry slits. Disgust spread across her pretty face, something he's rarely seen on her. That look was usually saved for Todd or his father, but has never been thrown his way.
"W-What? What do you mean? Why not?" Was she still angry because he yelled at her? That was understandable, he knew right away that it was a mistake. She didn't give him the change to apologize properly, before running off. Those words felt so foreign on his tongue, he never said them to anyone. Maybe if he practiced, they would have come out faster and he could have avoided her leaving. Not the kind of man who makes the same mistake twice, he refused to let it happen again.
"Are you serious? Think I didn't see what happened? I can smell that woman from over here. Her blood and body spray is all over you... I don't know what the hell is wrong with you, but all you do is disgust me!" Jack's blood ran cold at her angry words. He should have known... She did see everything after all, just like he was worried about. Why did he do it? All for some cheap pussy? He ended up not even getting it and was still being punished for trying.
"I'll never forgive you, Jack. All you do is hurt everyone, murdering over and over again just for fun! Wasn't I enough? Haven't had your fill yet?" Sakura pushed back the chair and stood up, yelling at him from across the room. "Everything is a goddamn joke to you... I don't know who you think you are anymore. All those years we spent together and it didn't mean a single thing. My Jack is gone. You ruined him! I warned you that night you walked away from me, didn't I? I'll never forgive you!"
Jack's felt like someone stabbed him in the chest and kept tearing him open. Putting a trembling hand to his forehead, a cold sweat broke out along his skin. He felt feverish, but a chill running through his body, making it quake. The room was starting to spin from becoming overwhelmed, he needed to close his eyes to try to steady it, only he was afraid she might disappear when he opened them.
"You don't mean that. You're just...angry with me right now. Right? You're not thinking straight. I am Jack. Can't you tell? C'mon, sweetheart. How about you relax and sit down. We can talk about this..." Sakura would never talk to him like that. She was just angry because he did something wrong. Jack knew that and wouldn't hold this against her, she had every right to be upset. If he was the one who died and saw her feeling someone up, he would have killed that man without any hesitation, even ten years down the road. He never should have done it in the first place. This was all his fault. If he wasn't such a failure, neither of them would've even been in this position anyway.
The pinkette's fists clenched, biting down on her lip hard with a grimace. "How about you go fuck yourself? Can't I tell? Is this some kind of joke? Are you a comedian now? Or a clown? I don't see Jack anywhere, because you killed him! I hate you! I hate you! I fuck-ing ha-te you! You should just die already, you piece of shit!"
Jack stood up, trembling. She hated him... Sakura hated him... He should just die. It felt like his head was going to split, the blood draining from his face. This wasn't happening. It was his fault that she died after all... Dark eyes stared at her wildly, unable to stand the hateful glare she was giving him. The words that came from her mouth were like venom from a vipers fangs. They were going to end him...
Biting his busted lip and making it bleed worse than it already was, his hands grabbed his head, digging his nails into his scalp. The urge to rip it from his skull was egging him on, wanting to cause physical pain to wash out the emotional suffering. This was too much. He couldn't take anymore... Not from her.
"Ahhh... No... No..." Jack's eyes burned, like they were on fire. Nothing has made him truly upset in the last two years, not since she died. There were only a few of times he's been pushed to this point throughout his life and he really didn't think it was possible to happen again. Most of the time, he told himself he wasn't capable of carrying the same emotions others had, but feeling the hot tears running down his cheeks, it was undeniable. Everyone had a button that could be pressed, even a man like him. That limit Jack prided himself on, that he thought was endless and unbreakable, was bursting at the seams.
"Look at you. So pathetic... I can't stand this for another second... Thank God that I'm dead. I don't have to stand by and see this happening. I can't believe what you turned into." Sakura crossed her arms over her chest, sneering at him. She was enjoying his agony, the same way he did to others. He was a terror to his enemies and she was to him. It was almost funny how ironic all of this was. If he wasn't in this position or becoming completely shattered, he might have laughed about it.
"Stop... Stop... Stop it!" Raking his fingers across his face, Jack wanted to tear his own skin right off the bone. Her presence was suffocating and words were sharper than any blade he's ever admired. He had to get out. Needed to get away. If he didn't... The gun in his waistband was starting to look like the only way to end this torment.
Standing up on shaky legs, Jack didn't even know where he could go. It didn't matter if he ran, this wasn't going to stop. Switching locations didn't change anything. It was all right under the surface.
"Sakura! W-What do you want me to do, huh? What do you want from me?! Are you just trying to drive me insane? Or you want me to kill myself? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!" He was desperate and lost. All he wanted was to go back to when it was just the two of them planning on leaving The Narrows together... So close to starting a life that he imagined over the course of years. If only he didn't take that job...or had her stay in the warehouse around the block. If he just didn't leave her to the wolves to die all alone... This was his fault, she had every right to tear into him like this. She was suffering much worse. It must have been so lonely and painful to go through that, especially without him by her side.
Jack has seen plenty of people die. Their expression, how afraid they are, but they were never alone when it happened. He was always right there to guide them to the other side, like a death reaper. Imagining those looks and feelings on Sakura made his stomach twist in knots. No one was there to help her or make sure she didn't suffer. Only people passing by who were curious and wanted to see what was going on. Fucking bystanders getting off on someone else's pain.
The people who were still there when he came back from that job are all gone now. He made sure of that. It didn't change what he allowed to happen though. He was supposed to be her man, to keep her safe and happy. Years ago, he promised himself that he wouldn't let anyone hurt them anymore and tried his best, but it meant nothing. This happened under his watch and he was a failure. A man who couldn't keep his word was nothing.
A grin spread across the pinkette's lips at his words, shifting her head to the side and sighing. Her expression softened watching the broken man crying in front of her. Sakura never liked it when he was angry and wasn't used to seeing him upset. She's only seen him cry maybe once before, the night he had his face carved open and thought she was going to leave him.
"I want you to go and take a good look at yourself in the mirror. I want you to see yourself for what you truly are. Then I might forgive you. I want you to promise never to do that to me again or I swear I'll never come back."
Dark eyes widened at the way she suddenly changed. The hateful look in her eyes diminished, the grimace disappearing into a small smile. She looked the way he liked to imagine, how she usually was. Kind and understanding... He felt a twinge of hope in his chest. Maybe this wasn't the end of it all.
"I promise." Bolting up, he stumbled from being lightheaded and the rush of emotions he wasn't accustomed to. Jack shook his head, trying to get rid of the nuisances in the way. He wasn't going to pass up this chance just because his body wanted to be useless at the moment. Trying to get steady on his feet and clear his head, he smacked himself hard across the face, ignoring the giggle from the corner of the room.
As soon as the room stopped spinning around him, he rushed to the bathroom, kicking the door open. Sakura wouldn't steer him wrong... She was the only one who cared about him. He could trust her. There was still a chance to save the both of them. If this would get her to forgive him and stick around, he'd do whatever she asked.
Ignoring the rotten smell coming from the tub, Jack rushed towards the sink. The two people this room belonged to didn't matter right now. Rocco could get rid of them later. Gripping the edges of the counter, he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.
Looking up towards the reflective surface, he froze. Eyes stared at the image in disbelief.
Staring back at him was a man with a white painted face. Dark circled around his pitch-black eyes. Red smeared from one side of his scar, down across his lips and up along the side of the other, like a bloody smile. Messy green hair poked out in every direction, completely untamed and wild.
Jack's jaw dropped as he felt his face, the mischievous grin on the man's ruined mouth not matching anything close to his own.
"W-What?!"
Watching the man in the mirror, he could see Sakura walking up behind him, a knowing smirk spreading across her pink lips. She understood, far more than he could. That's how it always was. She knew how things were supposed to be, what was best for them, even when he didn't want to hear it. Maybe if he just stopped for once and listened, maybe life wouldn't have taken such a turn for the worst. It was because he didn't heed her words that everything happened in the first place.
"Ahh... I see."
"Told you, didn't I?" Transfixed by the image, he couldn't look away as she walked up behind him. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she rested her head against his arm, staring into the mirror. When she sighed, he couldn't help admiring how beautiful she was even now. Maybe things wouldn't be the same, but they could get better. If she stayed, he could make that happen.
"Now, I'll forgive you..."
It was this moment that Jack realized he completely lost his sanity.
A/2N: I know this chapter was a little screwed up, but I wrote it to show how Jack really loses his shit and turns to the Joker in order to survive. It's supposed to show his mental stability cracking beyond repair to the point of hearing voices and seeing things that aren't actually there. The Joker became necessary to balance out the uneven weight that was causing him to fall off the deep end. With the two of them carrying the burden, they can bring balance to themselves.
This chapter is meant to take place 5 years before the current story. In case you didn't see it in the top note...
