Three Years Ago
Rebecca biked as quickly as she could up the hill to Forest Drive. Her mom had given her the teary-eyed news twenty minutes ago, but she still refused to believe it. The driveway to a quaint little house in the suburbs seemed impossibly long as she made the final push and dropped her bike off near the back steps.
In record time, she was on the front porch, rapping her knuckles furiously on the door. The flowerbeds were in full bloom in May and the petals soaked up the afternoon sun greedily. Rebecca could hardly believe the world had the gall to be so cheerful at a time like this.
Mrs. Williams opened the door after a few minutes. Her eyes were puffy and red, but she still managed to give Rebecca a smile. Her stark blond hair wasn't perfectly coiled as it normally was; it was frizzy and unkempt.
"Hi, Becks," Mrs. Williams said, opening her door and gesturing for her to come inside. "She's in her room."
"Thanks, Miss," Rebecca said, racing inside and barely remembering to toe off her boots. Mr. Williams was sitting with his head in his hands on the couch. "Hi, Sir."
He glanced up, but said nothing. His face was just as tear-strewn as Mrs. Williams'. Rebecca wasted no more time darting up the stairs and sliding to a stop at the first door on the right.
She lifted her hand to knock, but hesitated. Every part of her wanted to go inside, every part except the one that knew she couldn't deny the truth any more if she did.
She bit her nails for a second, then swallowed her fear and called out: "Kamilla?"
No reply. Rebecca slowly turned the handle and pushed her way inside. Kamilla was lying face-down on her bed, burrowed under the covers. Her wig was discarded on the ground. Rebecca carefully stepped over it and all the other broken objects scattered around the room.
She sat down at the edge of Kamilla's bed and was silent for a long time. She didn't know what she could say. She felt like she should have been crying or something, but it didn't feel real yet.
Kamilla had been dying for a long time now. So long in fact, that sometimes Rebecca forgot; until Kamilla's wig would slip and she would see how all of the years of chemo had affected her. Last year it was over, but now it was back. A simple check-up resulted in a terminal diagnosis: stage four leukemia. She had a couple of weeks if she was lucky.
Three years of fighting and hospital bills that would follow the Williams' to the grave, all for nothing. And Kamilla…
Rebecca's eyes began to well up with tears. She placed a hand on where she guessed Kamilla's shoulder was under the blankets. She tensed.
Rebecca opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She bowed her head, letting her tears fall freely down her face.
The blankets shifted. Kamilla lifted her sheets and opened her arms. Without makeup or a wig, Kamilla looked dead already. Rebecca smiled and laid down next to her, folding her up in her embrace and crying oceans of tears that still couldn't drown out the pain of reality.
Shaky and frail, Kamilla couldn't bring herself to sit up when she spoke. "Becks?"
"Yeah?" Rebecca croaked, staring out the window at the setting sun.
"Can I tell you something?"
"'Course."
"I hope I don't wake up tomorrow."
Rebecca turned. She didn't know what to say.
"I don't want to get up ever again," Kamilla admitted, sounding utterly defeated. "Will you stay with me?"
Rebecca could hear her heart break; she didn't know how it was possible, after everything, but still. With it came a rush of adrenaline. She knew she wasn't supposed to tell anyone about this, but desperate times came with desperate measures.
She sat up in bed and faced Kamilla with an expression only half-hidden in shadows.
"Kamilla, do you trust me?" she asked.
Kamilla blinked owlishly. "Yeah?"
"I know a way to make you better."
Gus didn't want to. The only reason he didn't slam his door in their faces was that two thirteen year olds had walked across town in the dead of night, alone. He was pacing in front of them as they sat on the couch, hands in their lap.
"Please, Gus," Rebecca begged. "This is important. It's life or death..."
"I can't just go around biting teenagers," Gus hissed, running a hand through his thinning hair. He was bleary-eyed and in his bathrobe. On any other occasion, Rebecca would have laughed at his fuzzy slippers. "Rebecca, so help me God, if you've told anyone else-"
"I haven't!" she said, spreading her hands. "Kamilla's the only one! Gus, come on, this is our last chance!"
Gus had made special care not to look at Kamilla as he spoke. "I can't. How many times do I have to tell you that the natural order of things-"
"The natural order is bullshit!" Rebecca exclaimed, leaping to her feet and causing Gus to go rigid. She was far past the point of caring. "She's dying, Gus! I'm not gonna let her die if I can help it - if you can help it!"
Gus took a breath. "Rebecca, I'm too old to be training betas anymore. I can't-"
"Don't tell me," Rebecca said, her lower lip wobbling. She pointed a shaky finger at Kamilla, who was sinking into the couch, barely following their conversation. "Tell her."
Gus set her jaw and turned to Kamilla. He was steadfast at first, but his resolve began to crumble the longer he looked at her sallow complexion. "I can't. I'm sorry, but I can't."
Kamilla swallowed a lump in her throat. She blinked away the tears in her eyes and reached out for Rebecca.
"Come on, Becks," she said, her voice tiny. "Thanks for trying."
Rebecca shook her head at Gus, letting him see the tears streaming down her face before turning and helping Kamilla upright. They were half-way to the door before Gus stopped them.
"Wait."
Kamilla made a miraculous recovery. Overnight, her cheeks began to glow radiantly. Her body was fighting the cancer with newfound vigor. The werewolf bite on her shoulder was slowly healing.
They waited a while to be sure. By then, Kamilla was more alive than she'd ever been; playing soccer at the park by Rebecca's house and making it to school every day. By then, she was officially ruled cancer-free.
People were astounded. They wrote articles in the papers, people accredited it to faith. Kamilla's blond hair started to grow back, so she stopped wearing wigs.
Her parents threw a party. Rebecca couldn't remember the last time Mr. Williams had looked so genuinely happy. They had the neighbours over, a cake, and the best gift that Kamilla could ask for.
"Oh my God!" she squealed, her smile lighting up the room as she reached into the filtered box. From it she pulled a tiny ball of fur and energy. "A puppy!"
Rebecca smiled as Kamilla cooed and cried over her new Rottweiler. She also received all of the essentials, and a free pass to name her whatever she wanted.
That last part was the only downside.
"Jameson!" Kamilla cried, cupping her hands around her mouth, as if her volume was the issue. "Oh- uh, Rico? Oh, come on!"
The dog was bounding towards the trees with no intention of stopping until she caught that damned squirrel. Kamilla was fast, but even she couldn't keep up.
"I'll go right!" Ren cried, clearing a log and sprinting into the woods, aiming east true to his word. Rebecca was too out of breath to do more than point vaguely to the left. Kamilla had left her in the dust bolting straight after her poor excitable puppy.
Rebecca, while it was fun at first chasing after the nameless dog, had found that after the fifth time, it was more tiring than anything. No matter how much Kamilla promised she was trying, she just couldn't train it.
So Rebecca, Ren, and Kamilla spent afternoon after afternoon doting on the dog that didn't recognize its own name - Bailey. Until, the Williams' decided to send her off to one of those doggy boot camps, much to Kamilla's dismay.
Kamilla spent most of her time training with Rebecca and Gus grousing about her parents instead of learning to control her abilities.
"God, they're such control freaks," Kamilla would say, furiously rubbing the back of her neck.
Personally, Rebecca thought the Williams' were doing the right thing, even if it tore Kamilla apart. Still, she kept her voice sympathetic.
"When's she leaving?" she asked.
"Tonight," Kamilla said, her eyebrows knitting together. "They probably already took her. How messed up is that? They wouldn't even let me come…"
"That is messed up," Rebecca admitted. She shifted in her seat on the couch. "Can you go visit her?"
Kamilla gave her an even look. "I'm pretty sure that defeats the whole point."
"Right," Rebecca said, ducking her head. It was so weird talking to Kamilla when she had fangs and glowing orange eyes.
"Break time's over," Gus said, re-emerging from the kitchen and handing Rebecca a glass of lemonade. Kamilla had already drink a whole carton of orange juice and thus she had been cut off.
Kamilla rolled her shoulders back and took a steadying breath. She closed her eyes and focused on shifting back into her human form; she hadn't been able to do so without Gus' help so far.
"Come on," Gus said, tapping his foot instead of pacing because Kamilla said it made her nervous. Her eyelids fluttered, showing still-orange irises. "You almost had it there for a second. Teeth, eyes, then claws."
Kamilla grunted and shifted from foot to foot, squeezing her eyes shut. Rebecca was off to the side, biting her nails. She swore she saw her fangs starting to shrink …
Kamilla ground her teeth for a few seconds before opening her eyes and letting out a frustrated snarl.
"Woah, easy," Gus said, reaching for her as her shoulders began to heave.
"I can't do it!" Kamilla shrieked, spinning and splintering Gus' coffee table with one well aimed kick. Rebecca jumped to her feet and backed away as Gus signalled her to do so. "I can't! I can't do it, I can't do it!"
"Kamilla!" Gus shouted over the noise. "Relax, you were almost there. Take a breath-"
"What's almost do for anybody?!" Kamilla demanded, her fangs glinting off of the light. She looked positively feral while advancing on him. "Almost doesn't do shit!"
Before he had time to wolf out and calm her down, she lunged forward and slashed his throat.
Rebecca's horrified gasp snapped Kamilla out of her reverie. Her hands were coated in blood. It was on the wall, the couch, and the picture frame hanging on the wall.
Gus gargled something incoherent as he stumbled back, his shoulder blades slamming against the nearest wall.
"Oh my God," Kamilla whispered hoarsely, her wolf claws and fangs still on full display. She turned to Rebecca, orange eyes wide and pleading. "Oh my God, what did I do?"
Scared as she was, Rebecca spurred herself into action. Her hands were shaking as she fumbled for her phone. "W-we have to call an ambulance-"
"No," Gus wheezed, pressing his palm against the gash in his neck. He forced himself into a sitting position. "No, I'll heal, I just … get me the dish towel."
"But-"
"Now!" Gus ordered. Rebecca scurried into the other room. He turned to Kamilla, raising his hands in a sign of peace. "It's okay, Kamilla."
"You need help," Kamilla said helplessly.
"They can't come here with you looking like that," he said simply. He winced and shuffled closer to her. "You need to attach yourself to something and turn." His eyes were wide and earnest. "You have to turn back, Kamilla."
"I can't!"
"Then you'll go to jail," Gus said, growing frustrated. Just then, Rebecca was there, the towel in her outstretched hand. He snatched it from her and wrapped it around his neck. "Either you turn or I'll call you in for assaulting an officer."
Rebecca had gone ghostly white. "Gus-"
"No," he said, waving Rebecca away with his hand. Kamilla shrunk away from the intensity in his eyes. "She has to learn."
"I can't do it," Kamilla said weakly. She sat down heavily on the couch, staring at her hands.
"You wanted this," Gus said, pointing an accusing finger at her. "You wanted to be like this. So take some responsibility and turn."
Kamilla looked close to tears. Rebecca was standing quietly in the doorway; she was beyond horrified but didn't know what to say. Kamilla caught her eye.
"You can do it," Rebecca said, forcing a smile on her face. "You're almost there."
Kamilla swallowed thickly and kept her gaze trained on Rebecca. From her chest came the burning determination to fight. She closed her eyes.
Rebecca's smile turned into something much more genuine as Kamilla's fangs disappeared. Her claws morphed into regular human nails. When she opened her eyes, they were back to normal.
"Congratulations," Gus said, sounding impressed. He winced while rising to his feet. "Now get the hell out of my house."
A week and a half later, Rebecca woke up to her mattress shifting. Her bleary brown eyes couldn't see much in the relative dark; all of the lights were off, but the moonlight forced its way in between her curtains. Her alarm clock read three forty seven.
She sat up to see her mom sitting at the end of her bed. Myriam was decked out in her police uniform and staring blankly at the opposite wall.
"Mom?" Rebecca croaked, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand.
Myriam took a few moments before turning to face her daughter. Rebecca instinctively reached out when she saw the glistening tears on Myriam's cheeks.
"Mom?" Rebecca repeated, her chest tightening as panic seized her. "What's going on?"
Myriam's lower lip wobbled. She opened her arms and immediately Rebecca crawled forward into her lap. The breeze through the open window rippled the curtains, giving them a clear view of the full moon.
Kamilla had lost control. She'd ran from Gus and Myriam, who were supervising her through her first official full moon. She was just so mad, she really didn't mean to.
In any case, Myriam found her curled into a ball in her room, hands and face slick with blood. Mr. and Mrs. Williams were strewn across the house, surprise etched into their faces for all of eternity.
Mr. Otsuka was heavily involved in the police report, that stated the Williams' were attacked in their home by a mountain lion. Sightings of said lion were also fabricated to back up those claims.
The foster care system took Kamilla away.
A year later she was brought back to live in the Lovelace household, one notoriously known for its micromanaging and odd restrictions. Though those restrictions helped Kamilla with her self control. All in all, being away combined with the guilt of what she had done put her in check.
Through a lot of legal proceedings that Rebecca didn't care for, Kamilla managed to get Bailey back; the last gift her parents had ever given to her.
When Rebecca did finally see her again, her wolf eyes were crystalline blue instead of orange; Gus said it indicated guilt.
Present Day
All of the adults were outside. Gus had wrenched Bailey's dead body from Kamilla's arms after some persuading, then dumped Kamilla and Rebecca next to Ren on the couch. Gus picked up Mrs. Lovelace's lifeless body and hauled her outside.
Inside, it was deathly quiet. Myriam was in hysterics, but Rebecca could bring herself to tune into the conversation. Her mother's shouting was just added noise to the ringing in her ears.
Rebecca, Ren, and Kamilla looked at the opposite wall, staring blankly. Ren was the first to move, shifting side to side.
"Where d'you think he went?" he asked. Rebecca glared at him. "What?"
Mr. Otsuka came in. His hands were trembling as he gestured for his son. "C'mon. Let's get you home."
"Dad…" Ren said, glancing down at Kamilla. Sure, he could use a glass of hot chocolate and comfy chair right about now, but he wasn't quick to leave her.
"It's okay," Kyou said with a tense smile. Myriam and Gus came in from outside. Myriam's eyes were red and puffy, but she kept her head held high. "Gus is gonna drive her home."
"No." Kamilla's voice was tiny, but grew with every word she spoke. "No, no, no don't take me back there… don't …"
She leapt to her feet, hands clenched by her side. Rebecca followed her, placing a hand on her arm. Kamilla's eyes were starting to glow bright blue.
"You can stay here," Rebecca said immediately. "You don't have to go, you can-"
"Rebecca-" Gus started, a warning clear in his voice. Myriam spoke over him.
"Rebecca…" she nodded at the blood stains on the floor. We can't stay here.
Desperate, Rebecca turned to Mr. Otsuka. His expression said he knew what she was going to ask.
"Can we stay at your house?" Rebecca clasped her hands together tightly. "Please?"
"I don't think-" Gus started. Of course he didn't think it was a good idea; Mrs. Otsuka refused to let him step foot in her house.
"Please, Dad?" Ren asked, blinking and scrunching his eyebrows to amp up the pleading. "We can get the air mattress from the basement!"
Kyou wasn't strong enough to withstand their puppy dog eyes, or to crush Kamilla's hopeful expression. He nodded.
Gus looked to Myriam, who shrugged.
They picked up pizza and ice cream on the drive there. Myriam was also invited to stay the night, which she agreed to because it wasn't as if she was going to leave Rebecca. Gus went and got rid of Mrs. Lovelace's body, but not before whispering harshly that Stacey was nowhere to be found. The couch was obviously empty, and there was so much blood he couldn't tell if hers was mixed in.
Mrs. Otsuka was waiting for them when they got there. She whipped open the door and wouldn't let anyone inside until she broke everyone's ribs in a hug. Mieko had been told that Kamilla was having an awful day, so she offered to set up the basement so they could all sleep huddled together in front of the T.V.
At first, Rebecca thought Kamilla would object, but she didn't say much at all. She just quietly ate her ice cream.
They watched Die Hard, then Transformers, then Speed before they were too hazy with exhaustion to pay attention anymore.
Mieko couldn't sleep on the floor, no matter how hard she tried, so eventually she trekked upstairs and closed the door behind her. Kamilla still hadn't said more than five words.
The silence between them was oppressive. Every breath was too shallow to be peaceful; they were all just staring at the ceiling, waiting for someone else to speak.
It happened suddenly. Kamilla kicked off her sleeping bag with pent up aggression. She sat up and stared at the door as Rebecca scrambled to prop herself up on her elbow.
"What?" Ren croaked, scrambling upright. He was bleary eyed and shivering. "What's wrong?"
Kamilla's voice was resolute. "I'm gonna kill him."
Rebecca has no disillusions as to who she was talking about. She really should have seen it coming, but still her heart beat faster.
"Kamilla," Rebecca said, hesitant to put a hand on her shoulder. "You can't …"
"Oh, shove it," Kamilla snarled, pushing to her feet. "I don't care if he held your hand, Rebecca. He killed my dog."
Rebecca shot Ren a look before following Kamilla to her feet. Ren was quick to follow.
"He was all crazy town," Ren said, using the couch to support his weight while he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "The guy's a shit, but he's not a monster-"
Kamilla founded on him, getting up in his face and baring her teeth. "He looked like a damn monster to me."
"Hey," Rebecca said, clamping her hand down on Kamilla's shoulder and hauling her away from a wide-eyed Ren. She forced herself into Kamilla's line of sight. "We can't just go around killing people, Kamilla…"
"Tell that to your boyfriend!" Kamilla said, her voice rising in volume.
"Sh!" Ren hissed, then paused to hear if any of the adult upstair had begun to stir. Kamilla didn't care - she wrapped her fingers around Rebecca's collar and dragged her closer until they were nose to nose.
"He killed my mom and my dog," Kamilla said. "I'm going to kill him, and if you get in my way, I'll …" she gritted her teeth. "I'll kill you too."
Rebecca held her ground, as difficult as that was to do. She knew Kamilla didn't really mean it - she was just angry. Grieving. Those were emotions that Rebecca understood, but that didn't mean her words hurt any less.
"You're getting pissed at the wrong people," Ren said, wedging his hand between Kamilla and Rebecca. "You're right, he's a monster, but c'mon, you saw him, he looked terrified. And based on that neighbour chick and the goddamn hole in his chest, he was shot, too."
Kamilla released Rebecca to round on Ren again. "Who's side are you on?!"
"Yours!" Ren exclaimed, flipping his palms so they were skyward. "I'm just saying that sometimes people do things when … when they feel like things are out of control."
"Like what?"
"Ren…" Rebecca started.
"Shut up," Kamilla said, waving her off. "Like what, Ren?"
His gaze bounced between Rebecca and Kamilla, shoulders tensed. His voice was low. "I'm not tryna fight, I'm just saying that we should be able to understand-"
"Who should understand?" Kamilla demanded. "Who, huh? Me?" Kamilla said, shoving her finger into his shoulder and sending him stumbling back. "Because I killed my parents?"
"You know he didn't mean it-"
"Shut up, Rebecca!" Kamilla snarled.
"I didn't say it like that," Ren protested.
"What the hell are you saying, then?!"
"If you let me finish, I'll-"
"Answer the damn question!"
"Guys…"
"I'm not saying he's innocent-"
"Answer the damn-"
"Fine!" Ren snapped, shoving Kamilla's hands off of him. "You should understand, because you killed your parents because you were pissy and had a bad day-"
Kamilla's claws were out and swinging before he could finish. Rebecca saw them glinting off the light coming through the window and grabbed a fistful of Kamilla's shirt, harnessing her powers to push her back and away. The only thing stopping Kamilla from yanking out Ren's jugular was a wall of condensed air that Rebecca created between them.
Ren stumbled back, holding his throat and staring at Kamilla in open-mouthed horror as Kamilla charged against the barrier, snarling and gnashing her teeth at him.
It was over before Rebecca could summon the courage to speak. Kamilla spun around and loped up the stairs two at a time, making a break for the back door. Rebecca hesitated before following.
"You okay?" Rebecca asked Ren. He nodded numbly, then sat down. "Okay, stay here."
She was almost out the wide-open back door when her mother's voice called out from the living room.
"What's going on?"
"Kamilla's upset," Rebecca said with her heart in her mouth. "Her and Ren were fighting, and … I gotta go talk to her."
She distantly heard Myriam making her way to the basement, but Rebecca only had sights for Kamilla, who had jumped the back fence and was heading for the next street over. Rebecca rolled up the sleeves of her flannel and ignored the rocks stabbing the soles of her feet.
Rebecca lost Kamilla not soon after, but she had an idea as to where she would be going.
Sure enough, she saw Kamilla curled up next to a quaint, if abandoned, house on Forest Drive. It had remained vacant ever since the Williams' tragedy.
Kamilla sat with her head in her hands, collapsed on the stairs leading into the side door.
Rebecca stopped when she was a few feet away. Kamilla didn't look up.
Rebecca had thought about what she was going to say on her trek there, but now she was drawing a blank.
"I'm going to kill them," Kamilla said, her voice barely louder than the wind.
Ren and Connor. Rebecca curled her toes into the asphalt. Her feet were throbbing, but she couldn't think about that right now. "I think there's been enough death already."
That was the wrong thing to say. Kamilla looked up at her with bloodshot eyes. "Say who? You?" Kamilla rose to her feet, shoulders back. "You've gotten more people killed than me. It's not my fault…" Like a switch being flipped, her anger was replaced by grief. "I didn't mean to, I didn't ask … not this … "
"I'm sorry," Rebecca said. Kamilla shook her head.
"I should've just died," Kamilla said. "You should have just let me die…"
"Don't say that," Rebecca said, tears welling up in her eyes. "I should have stayed with you-"
"Oh, shut up," Kamilla said bitterly. "S'not your fault. I wanted to be turned."
Rebecca felt utterly helpless. "Still, maybe if-"
"No offense," Kamilla said. "But you can shove your what ifs and maybes up your ass." Rebecca sat back on her heels. "I don't need you to apologize. I don't want you to. What I want is to see Connor pay for what he did."
"I can't let you do that."
"Why not?" Kamilla demanded. "He killed my-"
"I know," Rebecca said. "But it's different, Kamilla, that would be murder."
Kamilla rolled her eyes. "So, what, you're gonna arrest him? You don't have the guts."
"I-"
"I don't care about what you think," Kamilla said, the fire in her eyes never dimming. "Connor did it." She took a step closer to Rebecca. "It's me or him."
"No it's not," Rebecca said. "I'm with you, Kamilla, but I can't let you-"
"It's me," Kamilla shouted, pointing one shaky finger at her chest. "Or it's him."
Rebecca sealed her mouth shut. She'd seen Kamilla grieve before, but this was something else entirely. This was bloodlust, and the sight of it scared Rebecca half to death. Her expression was that of someone who wouldn't ever stop until they themselves were stopped, and God help her because it reminded Rebecca of her father.
Maybe that's why she was so terrified.
"Then what?" Rebecca asked, her voice trembling. "After you kill him, then what?"
"Then I'll be able to sleep at night," Kamilla said, dropping her voice down to a normal volume.
Rebecca looked between her eyes. Even if it wasn't Connor, Rebecca knew that it would never be enough. She knew from personal experience that outright murder was different than self-defense, and it changes you into a different person; a person that Rebecca would sooner die than watch Kamilla turn into.
"No, Kamilla."
Kamilla shook her head and turned around, but not before Rebecca could see the hurt in her eyes. "Then get the hell away from me."
The damage was done, but still, Rebecca remained. "I still think about them."
The Williams'. She remembered their manicured gardens and the pictures of Kamilla that they had hanging on the walls. She recalled how involved they were in school bake sales. She remembered wishing most days that she had that family.
Kamilla took a long moment to respond. When she did, she sounded thirteen years old. "Me too." She took a shaky breath. "And you think your nightmares are bad."
Rebecca didn't have anything to say to that, so she stayed silent while watching Kamilla clamber up the steps and push her way inside the empty house.
She flinched when the door snapped shut.
Merry Christmas and happy new year!
lokidoki9 - We're so in sync! Lol thanks so much for sticking around! It's great to see your username pop up again :) As for Connor, I feel the same! The man's really weathered for a highschooler :(
