Disclaimer: I am not Timothy Zahn or J.K. Rowling.
Ron and Dean are speaking to Aberforth at the Isle of Drear.
Aberforth. Interesting. Interesting, indeed. I presume the Wizengamot would be willing to record legal guarantees of all this.
Ron. We'll guarantee what we can. Your protection, legality of operation, and so forth. Naturally, we can't guarantee particular profit margins or anything like that.
Aberforth. Naturally. [to Dean] You've been rather quiet, General Thomas. How exactly do you fit into all of this?
Dean. Just as a friend. Someone who knew how to get in touch with you. And someone who can vouch for Ron's integrity and honesty.
Aberforth. Integrity and honesty. Interesting words to use in regard to a man with Captain Weasley's somewhat checkered reputation.
Ron. Any checkering that existed is all in the past.
Aberforth. Of course. Your proposal is, as I said, very interesting. But not, I think, for my organization.
Ron. May I ask why not?
Aberforth. Very simply, because it would look to certain parties as if we were taking sides. Given the extent of our operations, and the regions in which those operations take place, that might not be an especially politic thing to do.
Ron. I understand. I'd like the chance to convince you that there are ways to keep your other clients from knowing about it.
Aberforth. [smiles] I think you underestimate the Ministry's intelligence capabilities, Captain Weasley. They know far more about Council movements than you might think.
Ron. Tell me about it. [glances at Dean] That reminds me of something else I wanted to ask you. Dean said you might know a slicer who was good enough to crack diplomatic codes.
Aberforth. Interesting request. Particularly coming from someone who should already have access to such codes. Is intrigue beginning to form among the Wizards' Council hierarchy, perhaps?
Ron. This is purely personal. Mostly personal, anyway.
Aberforth. Ah. As it happens, one of the best slicers in the trade will be at dinner this afternoon. You'll join us, of course?
Ron. We don't want to impose on your time . . .
Aberforth. It's no imposition at all. With the press of business and all, we tend to miss the midday meal entirely and compensate by pushing the evening dinner up to late afternoon.
Ron. I remember those wonderful smuggler schedules. You're lucky to get even two meals.
Aberforth. Indeed. If you'll follow me . . . ?
Ron and Dean follow Aberforth into the main building.
We don't stand on protocol regarding meals here.
Enter Stebbins, Borgin, Nigel Wolpert, and Ginny.
Good evening, all. May I present Thomas and Weasley, who shall be dining with us tonight. [to Ron and Dean] Three of my associates: Stebbins, Borgin, and Wolpert. Wolpert is the slicer I mentioned, possibly the best in the business. And of course you've already met Ginny Weasley.
Ron. Yes.
As Ron nods at Ginny, she does nothing but glare at him and Dean.
Nigel. So you're Ron Weasley. I've heard a lot about you. Always wanted to meet you.
Ron. It's nice to be famous. Just remember that whatever you've heard has been hearsay. And that hearsay stories grow an extra leg every time they're told.
Aberforth. You're too modest. It would be difficult to embellish that manticore slaver incident, for example.
Dean. Manticore slavers? You never told me that one.
Ron. It wasn't anything important.
Nigel. He and Hagrid attacked a manticore slaver ship. Just the two of them. The manticores were so scared they abandoned ship.
Ron. They were more pirates than slavers. And they weren't afraid of me. They abandoned ship because I told them I had twenty Hit Wizards with me and was coming aboard to check their shipping licenses.
Dean. [raises an eyebrow] And they bought that?
Ron. [shrugs] I was broadcasting a borrowed Ministry ID at the time.
Nigel. But then you know what he did? He gave the ship over to the slaves they found locked up in the hold. Gave it to them, just like that. Including all the cargo, too.
Dean. Why, you old softie. No wonder you never told me that one.
Ron. The cargo was pirate plunder. Some of it extremely traceable. We were off Bulgaria. They had a strange local law at the time that pirate or slaver victims got to split up the proceeds if the pirates were taken or killed.
Aberforth. That law's still in force, as far as I know.
Ron. Probably. Anyway, Hagrid was with me . . . and you know Hagrid's opinion of slavers.
Dean. Yeah. They'd have had a better chance with the twenty Hit Wizards.
Ron. And if I hadn't just given away the ship . . .
Aberforth's transmitter beeps.
Aberforth. Excuse me. [into transmitter] Dumbledore here. . . . I'll be right there.
Aberforth rises to his feet.
Excuse me again. A small matter needs my attention.
Ron. Trouble?
Aberforth. I hope not.
Ginny rises as well.
Hopefully, this will only take a few minutes. Please enjoy your meal.
Exit Aberforth and Ginny.
Ron. I've got a bad feeling about this.
Dean. I've seen her before, Ron. I don't know where. But I know I've seen her, and I don't think she was a smuggler at the time.
Ron. Well, figure it out fast, buddy. We might be about to wear out our welcome.
Dean. I'm working on it. What do we do until then?
A droid arrives, serving the ex-smugglers their meal.
Ron. Until then, I guess we enjoy our meal.
Exit all.
