The far reaches of Ultra Desert looked much less barren with Delphi's huge entourage, the six Stakataka guards almost looking like roving bases themselves and the four Celesteelas sticking out fairly easily. In the absence of Necrozma's light, the glittering of the sand was more subdued, being akin to the gentle glittering of the cosmos instead of almost oppressively blinding particles depending on the angle, but far more noticeable was the frigidity of the air that hadn't been there before in the slightest. The avians were quickly fluffing up, Joker and Yunael edging closer to Delphi while Polly tried to look as unfazed as possible, and a chill visibly went down Spirit, Karma, and Kuro. The Delphox herself wasn't too bothered, and neither were the Ultra Beasts- they could've been used to it already, or perhaps they didn't possess the right kind of nerve endings to fully register such a huge drop in temperature seeing as they were all composed of cold metallic parts in one way or another. The brunt of their visibility stemmed from Delphi's fire and the cool blue glows of the Stakatakas, but either way, the dimness surrounded them almost uncomfortably so. At least the vicinity of Megalo Tower had some glowing fixtures to aid seeing further away, but the desert clearly wasn't so kind.
The poor little nebula in the cube that Delphi held went lifeless, and the Stakataka that had presented them to her crouched down again so as to let her stow the vessel back in their walls. She couldn't quite see how many there were, but it had to be several dozen for as tightly packed as they were. The mere fact that those Cosmogs and Cosmoems were so subdued, having been shoved into boxes that completely restricted their movements or any semblance of freedom they might've had, then shoved into what essentially amounted to a larger box like an expeditioner shoved items into a bag… It was unsettling to see, but none of the Pokémon dared to question it or give any indication that it wasn't normal. The little nebulas themselves clearly didn't question it either, and the reasons for that were likewise unsettling, but as far as any of the expeditioners were concerned, they too had to act under those same unsettling rules.
Instantly, Delphi started to scan their surroundings as if looking for something, something that the expeditioners knew ultimately didn't exist. "Now, where did those intruders fuck off to…? They can't be far…" she mused, voice borderline snarling again.
"You said there was an infestation?" one of the Celesteelas piped up, head turning to scan the vicinity too. "Surely they can't hide that well…"
"THEY WILL NOT GET FAR EVEN SO," one of the Stakatakas declared. "THEY WILL NEVER REACH THE GODDESS."
"Damn right," Delphi agreed, crossing her arms and casually leaning back against one of the Stakatakas. "But there's an explanation for this. They could've just stockpiled a ton of Invisify Orbs and used them, or they could all be rocking Mobile Scarves to hide underground… but let's be real. This is all that Ditto's fault."
Everyone perked up, the Beasts more so, and Karma and Kuro both looked rather interested in what the Delphox was going to say next.
"DITTO…?" another Stakataka piped up.
"A Pokémon that can perfectly take the form of anything it sees," Delphi explained. "Well, I say perfectly, but this certain one always has a Ditto face. What I'm getting at, though, is that he has lots of forms, right? And if you're going to hide or run away with such a huge group as fast as they have, you'd need a pretty effective method… something like what our little nebulas provide. Problem is, they don't have little nebulas. The next best thing is something like a black hole, which a Gardevoir could make… but that would probably kill him! You know what other Pokémon can suck things into a black hole, without that downside?"
Her company perked up even more. Karma was already studying her, but the Stakatakas and Celesteelas seemed completely engrossed in everything she was saying.
"The legendary Hoopa!" one of the Celesteelas exclaimed.
"MEWTWO!" a Stakataka cried.
"Darkrai!"
"PALKIA, THE GOD OF SPACE!"
"Celebi! Er-…! A-actually, I think that's not quite right…"
The further the guards went, the more most of the expeditioners were trying to hide their amusement. Karma was shaking her head in disapproval at the idea of her team lead getting ahold of such powerful forms, and Kuro seemed especially amused at the potential too, pretending to cough and sneeze to hide his laughter. None of them put it past Xeno to accidentally rip the universe in two if he went gallivanting around with the forms of legendaries, at which point the actual gods themselves might have deemed it worthy to yell at him.
Delphi too chuckled a bit. "You're not wrong, but maybe I should've specified ordinary Pokémon," she said. "What I'm thinking of is a Dusclops! Their bodies are hollow shells that can suck anything inside just like a black hole, so y'know what that means? Barring the ridiculous possibility that they really had that many Mobile Scarves or Invisify Orbs stockpiled, I bet he sucked that whole infestation in and now he's running off somewhere to ditch us!"
To the Beasts, it was a perfectly reasonable explanation given by someone with authority and experience dealing with the other worlds, and they accepted it without question. To the expeditioners, it was ridiculous- everyone knew that anything sucked inside a Dusclops would never see the light of day again, and even if an 'infestation' of expeditioners were totally okay with practically being erased from existence, swallowing up as many as Delphi made it sound like would probably take a long, long time to do. Even so, Xeno wasn't in the desert, but the guards didn't have to know that.
*Yes, I know that's not how any of this works, but they don't,* the Delphox advised her comrades (at least, everyone except Kuro, who still didn't say a word). *Xeno was thinking of turning into a Gardevoir earlier for easy moving when the emissaries ambushed Adnea and Shar's group, and I'm just running with it! I think I can keep them busy this way!*
*I see your idea, and it's a sound idea,* Karma mentally noted back.
*Frankly, I'm too shocked that this is working to question any of it,* Polly chimed in.
The guards certainly weren't questioning it either.
"No way!" one of the Celesteelas exclaimed. "Gah! They just can't give us a break, can they?!"
"Of course they can't," Delphi brushed it off, getting a wild-eyed look as she nonchalantly twirled her wand. "And we can't give them a break either, can we~?! Hell, if this was a forest, I'd just burn it all down until they gave themselves away with their screaming, but that's not gonna stop me from trying anyway!"
She straightened herself up, and the Stakataka she was leaning against ambled a few steps backwards when she made the flame on her wand flare brighter. The expeditioners themselves gave her a borderline startled look, almost anticipating her to really get into the Salem role and burn them all too. Still, Kuro's Illusion was dyeing the fire purple, even making it appear bigger than it actually was, which made the Beasts none the wiser.
"Fifty-Fifty-Seven and me both have Flamethrower in our arsenals!" the first of the Celesteela guards chimed in. "We can help you!"
"Yes!" the second of the Celesteela guards affirmed. "We can fly around spewing flames from our cannons, and when we hit someone, we'll know!"
Delphi started smirking wickedly, glancing up at the two graceful, hulking creatures. "My thoughts exactly.~ And if they're keeping themselves hidden by other means, they'll give themselves away pretty quick!"
A cackle left the Delphox's mouth, one convincing enough to give both the Beasts and her own comrades a hint of hesitance. The act was going far too well- it may as well have been Salem herself in their presence for how well Delphi nailed her impression.
Nonetheless, she got ahold of herself again. "You other two Celesteelas, I want you to keep an eye on things from above and tell me if you see anything suspicious. As for you Stakatakas, you have eyes on all sides, so I want you to use them and look for our unwelcome guests. If you've got valuable cargo, stay close, and if I yell, you'll know to get your asses over here. The rest of you…" She looked over her fellow expeditioners as if she wasn't familiar with them and their capabilities. "I don't need any of you dying of hypothermia, or I will have wasted my time enlightening you. Stay close to me, but don't get too friendly."
The expeditioners gave her nods, while thunderous cries of, "YES, SALEM!" erupted from the Beasts. It was practically like an earthquake whenever four Celesteelas lifted off at the same time, and though Delphi might've wanted to take cover, she managed to stay standing with rather unfazed mannerisms while her comrades nonetheless all hunched up a bit. Whatever cold they'd been feeling momentarily dissipated for the heat that the flying steely ones' root-like cannons and thrusters gave off, and the sand underneath them was scorched to glass. The Stakatakas all took off ambling in different directions, more eyes flipping outwards on all sides, but three of them stayed closer than the other three that kept right on walking.
The moment they were all out of hearing range, Delphi relaxed a bit and the expeditioners started sharing some looks.
"… Let's calmly discuss this turn of events while I pretend to be a crazed pyromaniac with murderous tendencies," Delphi quickly piped up, dropping the snarling, cocky tone for a more casual one. "Kuro, make sure they're nice and big how Salem would like."
She let a Mystical Fire go at nothing in particular that was made to have an unnatural purple hue and look much, much bigger thanks to the Zoroark she beckoned. Two of the Celesteelas were following suit, but with actual Flamethrowers spewing out in a systematically destructive curtain of blazes. The landscape was probably going to look much, much different than it had when they'd arrived… but it simply couldn't be helped. Remi wasn't there to screech and scream about their lustrous homeland being defaced, at least.
"It's workiiiiiiing~!" Yunael chirped, wings fluttering happily.
"I've gotta tell the boss about you blaming him for stuff that never happened," Kuro laughed.
"Delphi, I always suspected you were a crazy bitch, but holy shit, I have never been more glad to have a crazy bitch like you around," Polly said.
"This is wonderful!" Spirit exclaimed. "Joker! Isn't this great?!"
"This is the best show we've ever put on, bar none," the Unfezant concurred.
Delphi smiled, setting off another Mystical Fire and darting around as though looking for something with her comrades close behind. The three Stakatakas with valuable things hidden inside their walls took a few steps corresponding to the direction she'd moved too, keeping the same distance as their eyes peered around.
"We're going to have to worry about those three Stakatakas at some point," Karma piped up, not sounding too thrilled. "If Void moved all of the little nebulas out of Megalo Tower and put them with the guards, when this façade inevitably breaks, we can't let that get used against us."
"Let's hope I can keep these ten busy long enough for this to get resolved, and maybe Lunala can swoop in to rescue us," Delphi mused. "Matter of fact…" Another Mystical Fire followed, but she took a few moments to stare into the flame. Instantly, her face dropped.
"What're you seeing?" Spirit asked, noticing her countenance. "You don't look happy about it…"
"We're fucked, aren't we?" Polly inquired, getting a very sharp look from Karma.
Delphi shook her head. "Well, not necessarily, but almost every possibility I'm seeing ends with us staring down red-glowing Stakatakas and Celesteela cannons," she answered.
Again, her comrades were perking up, some of them uncertainly eyeing the guards that ambled and flew about. Yunael fluffed out a bit, and Karma shook her head haplessly as if she just couldn't help but to anticipate such even without a literal future-gazing Delphox to confirm it.
"… Time to pray," the Togekiss mused, sounding hopeful but looking hesitant.
"Pray?" Kuro said to the contrary. "To who? Lunala's probably busy, Necrozma and Solgaleo are probably out of commission right now if the light level is anything to go by, and our own gods won't hear us."
"And here I thought being a godless heathen was gnarly," Polly remarked, getting some funny looks from her comrades.
Delphi cackled again, setting off another burst of flame. "Pfft, they can pray all they want!" she laughed loud enough for the closer Stakatakas to hear, then lowering her voice, "I've got a feeling I should check on them. I would've expected an update from Lunala whenever the light level dipped, but she's oddly quiet."
"I hope they're all alright…" Spirit's voice trailed off.
Another Mystical Fire followed, but Delphi took a moment to stare into her flame while crouching down as if to lend her flame's warmth to her comrades. Of course, the expeditioners stayed huddled close anyway, but Karma started staring at the flame too as if she could possibly catch a glimpse of whatever future the Delphox saw, and Joker eyed it too. Delphi wore a look of deep concentration, but her countenance started to shift into more confusion, then awkward dismay.
"I… I can't see anything!" she exclaimed, trying to keep her voice low. "Everything is so dark and muddled, and it's changing every second… Something huge must've happened that's throwing the near future into complete disarray…"
The expeditioners were definitely taken aback by her words- the future changing was nothing new, but being indecipherable surely couldn't have been a good sign. Maybe their fight with Necrozma hadn't gone very well and that was the reason for their silence… or worse, maybe Necrozma had wiped them all out and there was no future because there was no Team Starstorm…
Karma, though, seemed to pick up on something herself too, and she gave a jolt of fright as she croaked out, "… Oh, Delphi, you're absolutely right…"
Several sets of eyes went wide, and Delphi gave the Wobbuffet an inquisitive look before checking herself. Trying to read Lunala was surprisingly doable but only showed blackness. Trying to read Raijin likewise only showed blackness, but a very strange sort of blackness tinged with both peaceful acceptance and searing pain. Trying to read Arashi was impossible simply because of his Dark-type attributes, but reading Astrid was where things started to unfold.
At first, the only thing apparent was extreme panic, and Delphi couldn't quite deduce why aside from the odd fact that Raijin didn't appear to be present. The Decidueye and her partner were between the outskirts of Ultra Deep Sea and the very far edges of Ultra Desert, and Astrid herself seemed to be staring at a strange puddle of thick black liquid on the ground. Perhaps in Nihilego territory, the ground simply oozed poisonous sludge on occasion, but no, Raijin and Lunala would've told them about something like that, and even so, the presence of several haphazardly placed copper rods made it feel strange. The clearly mangled corpse of a certain Charizard was rather unsettling, but knowing who it was lessened the shock and discomfort even if it was a grisly sight.
It took a few seconds, but exactly what she was looking at finally hit her.
A shriek escaped the Delphox's mouth, followed by her expression going perturbed. "Gods help us!" she cried, a jolt of fright going along her body. "H-how did this happen?!" Another shriek escaped when she scanned Astrid's memories a bit more to see exactly how it happened, and it wasn't any more pleasant.
The closer Stakatakas instantly stopped everything they were doing, and several more sets of eyes flipped outwards on their walls facing Delphi. The Celesteelas heard her shrieks too, and two of them likewise turned to face her. Only Joker perked up and noticed such, for the rest of the expeditioners were too concerned about whatever awful thing it was that their resident psychics were seeing to care about much else.
"What happened?!" Spirit wanted to know.
"Please tell me everyone is still in one piece!" Yunael exclaimed.
Delphi shook her head. "Lunala burned herself out against Necrozma, and Raijin…! Oh, gods help me, I don't even know where to start!"
"I think you all are better off not seeing this," Karma mused, shaking her head. "Heavens, that has to be a new record for most horrific injury I've seen…"
The Stakatakas started lurching towards the expeditioners, and Joker gave the Delphox a nudge with one wing while eyeing them rather intently. She didn't pay it any mind.
"When I drew those cards at the last reading, this is not what I had in mind!" Delphi kept on, a mix of panicked and flustered. "I knew things were gonna get crazy, but this?! No wonder Astrid was going ballistic in that vision- I never would've guessed Raijin's Five of Swords meant this! Oh, this is terrible, terrible…!"
The expeditioners looked even more perturbed, and on hearing Delphi' continued protests, the closest Stakatakas moved faster and the rest of the guards picked up that something was wrong. All four of the Celesteelas turned to fly back to her, and the living ramparts ambled as fast as they could.
Yet again, Joker nudged her, eyes going wider. "… Hey…"
And yet again, the Unfezant's gestures went unnoticed.
"How bad?!" Polly inquired. "Did that crazy-ass Charizard actually go and roast someone?!"
"'Melt' is more like it," Karma replied. "Just… imagine your feathers and skin being liquefied with acid, and that's about equivalent."
That mental picture and the associated sensation any of them imagined certainly wasn't pleasant, and more sets of eyes went wide. A look of pure horror crossed Spirit and Yunael's faces, while the blood practically drained from Polly and Kuro's faces (but that wasn't noticeable on account of their respective feathers and fur). Both of the psychics were clearly disturbed by what they saw, but Joker, on the other hand, looked disturbed at something else.
"I'm cluing Adnea in on this right now, and maybe Xeno or Dren or someone can get one of the healers over there," the words practically fell off of Delphi's tongue. "Good heavens, the Light Trio can recover on their own, but that Xurkitree can't…"
"HEY!" Joker finally caught their attention, startling several of his comrades in the process.
The rest of the expeditioners first looked at him as if he'd lost his mind for interrupting their moment to process the situation, but they were all quickly processing a new situation- four Celesteelas touching down close by (and the rumbling of the ground as a result) and six Stakatakas surrounding them that didn't look… quite as subdued as before. One Celesteela had a cannon pointed at them, and two Stakatakas already glowed red. Delphi quickly started smirking again, albeit with rather uncertain eyes, and several of her comrades kept their startled looks even as she straightened herself out to keep up the act.
"SALEM…?" one of the living ramparts inquired.
"WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT…?" another inquired.
"Why are you saying 'Raijin' and all that?" a Celesteela inquired. "That name's a sign of treachery and Void doesn't respect it…"
The Delphox masked her discomfort as well as she could manage, edging closer to Joker and swishing her tail against his side for a second. "What?" she snarled rather pointedly, brandishing her wand as if it were a sword. "You do realize I hung around that Greninja brat way longer than I wanted to, right? If you did the same, I guarantee some of the words and phrases would rub off on you, too."
"THEN WHY DID YOU SOUND SO UPSET WHEN TALKING ABOUT LUNALA BURNING OUT AND SIX-SEVEN EVIDENTLY HAVING A TERRIBLE INJURY?" one of the red-glowing Stakatakas, on the other hand, questioned to the contrary.
"AND WHY WERE YOU MENTIONING THE NAMES OF OUR ENEMIES?" another asked rather pointedly.
"Your voice sounded preeeeetty different just then too!" the Celesteela pointing a cannon at them chimed in to corroborate.
The expeditioners got even more tense, but Delphi didn't budge. "Are you seriously questioning me? Again?" she shot back with a trenchant voice, waving her wand's flame at them as if in threat. "I may as well melt every single one of you and build myself a bunker from scratch with your pitiful remains! That would give me better protection than you insolent little-!"
"THERE'S AN EASY WAY TO SOLVE THIS!" one of the more peaceful-looking Stakatakas piped up. "OUR ENLIGHTENMENT MAKES IT HARDER TO READ OUR MINDS, RIGHT? NOT THAT SALEM EVER CARED FOR THE MORE INTRICATE PSYCHIC WORK LIKE THAT, BUT IF THIS THE ENEMY DELPHOX… SHE WOULD NOT KNOW OUR PRONOUN PREFERENCES WITHOUT ASKING FIRST, AND SHE CANNOT READ US TO FIGURE IT OUT QUICKLY."
Delphi froze, and her comrades did too. It was a good question- one that none of them had the answer to.
"That's right!" a Celesteela agreed. "There's ten of us! She either knows or she doesn't!"
"THAT'S PERFECT!" another Stakataka agreed.
The Delphox blinked for just a second, still smirking, but moments later, she visibly deflated. She stopped brandishing her wand, the flame on which went out, and she let out a sigh. "… Kuro, dearie, drop the illusion," she said, sounding like herself and not a power-drunk, cocky host for a self-imposed goddess.
The Zoroark looked surprised, but moments later, the purple tint was gone from Delphi's eyes. At the sight and sounds of the act breaking down, every single one of the Stakatakas glowed red, and every cannon arm pointed at them. Yunael whimpered and Karma braced herself, but Delphi still grinned and traipsed right up to one of the living rampart holding a load of little nebulas.
"Heeeey, now…~" the Delphox's voice gently and flirtatiously trailed off as she leaned on their walls with one arm. "Things are moving awfully fast, aren't they~? I think we all need to slow down for a bit, take things easy and enjoy each other's company a little longer before we go making decisions we might regret in the morning.~"
The Beast she leaned on, while not possessing the best features for outward expression, nonetheless seemed to be looking at her like she was crazy. Her comrades weren't too far off, either.
She got off the poor Stakataka, though, and instead smirked up at the Celesteelas. "And you four beautiful creatures probably have never been told that size doesn't matter, but how you use it! I could show you if you want!" A playful wink followed.
Joker blinked, Spirit looked like he wanted to be surprised but just couldn't be, Kuro and Polly both stared at her as if they couldn't quite believe she was serious, Karma's mouth fell open, and Yunael blushed heavily under her feathers. She was really doing it- fraud hadn't worked, so seduction was the next best bet, apparently.
"What is she talking about?!" one of the Celesteelas exclaimed.
"I think I know, and it's something none of us do," another said.
"That thing that humans and most Pokémon do to populate their worlds!" another outright said it.
"Really?!" the last one cried. "I thought she was implying she had a heavier Heavy Slam than we did!"
That last idea was about as ridiculous as Delphi trying to seduce a group of hostile Ultra Beasts, the rest of them figured.
"Hey now, it's never too late to try~!" Delphi giggled, batting her eyes and casting a flirtatious grin to each guard in turn. "You ten are powerful, and I like that! I could make you feel something out of this world if you'll let me, and we can start a whole new wave of enlightenment.~ Wouldn't that be a better use of our time than fighting? Just think about it- why should we try to kill each other when we could learn to love each other instead~?"
Yunael buried her face in her wings, looking as perturbed as could be. "She is not talking about love, she is not talking about love!"
"She absolutely isn't, Yunael, she absolutely isn't," Karma affirmed, gently patting the Togekiss.
"I'll be damned, she's actually going for it," Polly said flatly. "This fucking Delphox is trying to fuck a horde of fucking Ultra Beasts."
"I'll applaud her efforts, at least," Kuro remarked.
However, things were quickly taking a turn for worse when the Stakataka she'd leaned up against to sweet-talk raised one leg up and slammed it down, setting off an Earthquake. The avians flapped their wings, Spirit swooped Kuro up with his tail, Delphi quickly jumped onto her wand like a perch and made it levitate with telepathy, but Karma, on the other hand, outright dove in front of everyone. The ground went to swallow her, but as the fissures closed, it became apparent all too quickly to the hapless living rampart that it had been a strategic move and not a foolish one. The fissures opened up again underneath the one to initiate the attack, eliciting a sharp metallic shriek of dismay as their move was Countered right back. A Wide Guard from one of their comrades went up, but it was too late- the Stakataka's glow faded to nothing and part of their top half's cohesion crumbled, their bottom half buried in a fissure. Multiple cuboidal vessels spilled out of their walls with more peeking out where bricks used to obscure them from view, and several tiny shrieks of uncertainty left some other little nebulas as their own vessels jostled around haphazardly.
"If you think you're so good at taking hits, you clearly know nothing of the life of a Wobbuffet," Karma said, sounding unamused but feisty all the same.
Several more metallic shrieks came from the rest of the guards too.
"D-did that little blue one just-!"
"WAS THAT COUNTER?!"
"NO WAY!"
Delphi didn't waste the opportunity and snatched up one cuboidal vessel, the little one inside giving a little cry of fright at being yanked around. "Apparently my own guards don't even know who to believe," she said, voice turning back to a borderline snarl. "You catch my drift, little nebula? If I say the word, you better get me out of here and not question it."
A tiny, scared voice answered. "I-I have no idea what's going on, but y-yes, Salem! Anything for you! Even if it kills me!"
Polly too started using another voice, specifically that of a certain cocky, haughty Pheromosa, and flew over to sit between Delphi's ears while calling out, "The rest of you little nebulas hear that?! Question Salem or me and you'll have some serious explaining to do!"
A multitude of variations of 'Yes, Salem!' or 'Yes, Remi!' answered back. The little nebulas couldn't see that it wasn't Salem grabbing up one of their own, or that Polly was joining in on the trickery too instead of another of Void's cadres jumping into the fray, and evidently, they were none the wiser. The guards froze up, but the expeditioner started to feel relief after all the tension.
An actual smirk started gracing the Delphox's face as she clutched her wand in one hand and the little nebula's vessel in the other. "Okay, show's over," she said quickly. "Joker, I'm handing it over to you. Do your thing."
The Unfezant chuckled, brushing aside the feathers of his plume. "Oh, Delphi, I'd say the show is just getting started."
Author's note: Well, it took me longer to post than usual, mostly on account of me playing Legends: Arceus (it looked fun enough for me to forego my ongoing frustrations that made me stop playing the games since Dexit) for the majority of the day on my days off. You see, I have a tendency to go after alphas that are way too strong for my team, get my ass whipped, not deduce that it's a bad idea to keep on trying to fight them... which ended up with me trying to catch that lovely alpha Blissey for around 2 days straight. Then of course there was a certain post-game superboss that whipped my underleveled ass too, which if you've played that far, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about... I digress.
I thought it would be funny if I posted this one on Valentine's Day, but alas, I'm a day late. I hope you all received plenty of love- of all kinds, from all the people you hold dear- and if you're a flagrant aromantic asexual like me, plenty of free chocolate that we all know is the true meaning of the holiday.
