I love writing dad Loki. I love it so much.
Hydrangeas Say Our Family Will Flourish
Chapter Seventeen: These Sleepless Nights Are Welcomed
The first few nights after the birth of Aster and Kari were, predictably, restless.
The cribs were moved into Loki and Amelia's bedroom so that it would be easy for either of them to get up and see to the needs of their newborns as soon as the babies woke from their slumber, but it meant that the moment either of the children were disturbed from their sleep, their piercing cries awoke everybody in the room.
It was unavoidable and expected, and given that every two to three hours, both babies needed to feed, Amelia rose from the bed like clockwork the moment she heard even a whimper. However, that didn't mean that they babies woke every two to three hours - in fact, they woke more like every hour or so, to which Loki had to tell Amelia to lay down and go back to sleep, and that he would deal with the babies until they next had to feed.
Still, it was difficult to get back to sleep while she could consistently hear her children fussing as Loki tried to calm them down just across the room.
Amelia had noticed that Kari was definitely louder than his sister, Aster. He was the one that had no problems waking his parents up just as they managed to relax into a deeper sleep, and he did so with powerful lungs. His sister was a little more reserved, and only tended to cry when her brother did so for more than a few minutes, otherwise she was often quiet. While it was interesting that Amelia had noted these differences, she couldn't help but just see it as anything but bothersome in her sleep-deprived state.
It was exhausting, and it quickly overwhelmed Amelia to the point where she teared up out of fatigue one morning after the sun had risen and Loki had gently shaken her awake about half an hour after she'd finally fallen asleep.
"Sorry, my love," Loki quietly apologised, "if you need to, you can sleep a while longer before we get up for breakfast."
"No, it's okay," Amelia sniffled, wiping her eyes with embarrassment as she pulled herself together. She felt rather bashful about her upset state, because it wasn't like she hadn't anticipated that she would be unable to sleep for the first month or two after the birth. That was just the price to pay for a new parent. "They're probably going to need feeding soon, anyway."
Loki sighed, "It's a shame I can't feed them."
Amelia gave a soft chuckle at that, "If we'd brought the breast pump we left in Manhattan, you would be able to."
Loki looked at her for a moment, "I could return to Avengers Tower and pick it up. It wouldn't take long."
Amelia blinked. She hadn't even considered the idea.
"If… if you can, yeah. At least then we could take turns feeding them." The breast pump could likely be a game-changer, it was a good thing they purchased it when they did.
"I'll pick it up before noon," Loki promised, leaning down to press a kiss to Amelia's lips, before a soft whimpering sounded from the other side of the room.
"Right on time," Amelia remarked quietly, preparing to get up once again.
"You relax, I'll see to them," Loki said, giving her another quick kiss on her cheek before slipping out of bed and pulling on his silk robe. Amelia laid her head back on her pillow, watching her husband through the translucent curtain hanging from the bed frame; she didn't expect she'd be able to fall back to sleep, but it was sweet that Loki was trying to give her a few more winks.
"Hey, you," Loki murmured softly as he leant over Kari's crib, reaching first to brush his finger over the baby boy's cheek, a tender reminder that he wasn't alone and that his dad was there for him.
Aster had woken from her brother's noisiness, but had yet to start crying. Amelia could see her wriggling in her crib within the blanket swaddle like a little adorable caterpillar, so unless Loki gave her a little comfort as well, she would surely begin whimpering soon enough, and then he'd have two crying babies on his hands.
"You need to quieten down, little one. Your mother is trying to sleep," Loki spoke gently, lifting Kari out of his crib to rest him in the crook of his arm, before he began to lightly rock the boy back and forth, and peered down into Aster's crib to check on her. "Why are you crying, hmm? Are you hungry or do you need changing? Are you scared? Or perhaps you're just grumpy because the sun woke you up?"
The way he spoke to them was absolutely wonderful and filled Amelia with delight. For the longest time, only Amelia had known the softer side of Loki, the side he often refused to show even to the other Avengers, and now there were two more little objects of affection in his life, which meant he may not be able to completely hide it any longer. Sooner or later, he'd have to show his adoring, caring side in front of somebody he would usually conceal it from.
Soon enough, Aster was crying alongside her brother, and Loki was stuck in the middle of trying to soothe two infants. He looked back and forth between them, quietly shushing them in the hopes that they would find the noise calming, but no such thing occurred. Loki peered apologetically over his shoulder back at Amelia with a hint of imploration in his gaze, to which she laughed.
She'd seen it coming.
Amelia dutifully got out of bed and sat in the armchair close to the cribs, preparing to breastfeed her babies yet again. She still needed Loki's help positioning the babies for when they needed to be fed together, but Amelia was definitely falling into the habit of regular feeds, even when she had to sacrifice her sleep for it.
Once both infants were comfortably nursing, Amelia looked over their angelic faces and let out a sigh. Kari and Aster were worth losing sleep over, because when she absorbed the sight of their innocent, wide-eyed expressions as they drank their milk, Amelia felt nothing but love fill her heart.
They both had pretty, matching green eyes that they had inherited from their father, and it just made them all the more beautiful. She couldn't wait to watch them grow into wonderful people.
"She's looking at you," Loki pointed out as he sat across from Amelia on the recliner, leaning forward to inspect Aster's face. The infant was indeed staring up at her mother, and it was a struggle for Amelia not to let out a squeal of pure happiness; usually the babies' eyes wandered aimlessly around the room because their vision was mostly blurry so soon after being born, but occasionally when they seemed to momentarily focus on a particular shape, and when that shape just so happened to be Amelia's face, it sent her heart absolutely soaring through the roof.
It was simply a reminder that she and Loki had created two gorgeous, living, breathing beings that they both loved unconditionally.
"I love you, Aster," Amelia whispered. She looked forward to the day those green eyes would light up in comprehension of those few words.
When Loki returned from picking up the breast pump, Aster was fast asleep and Amelia was cuddling a sleepy but still conscious Kari, and Amelia couldn't help but notice that her husband looked a little ruffled upon entering the room, his face looking a little fed up.
"What's wrong?" Amelia asked with a quirked eyebrow, and Loki rolled his eyes and shook his head, an expression that was usually completely subtle, but in this case it was all too clear; he placed the box on the table and slumped back down on the recliner, running a hand down over his face.
"They practically swarmed me when I arrived at the Tower," Loki groaned, and Amelia didn't have to ask to know who he was talking about. The Avengers hadn't been entirely happy when they learned they wouldn't get to see the babies until Amelia and Loki moved back into the Tower when the infants were at least three months old, so it stood to reason that the moment they saw Loki, they'd bombard him with questions. "They wanted to know everything, how the labour went, how the babies were, what they looked like, what it was like being a new father. I told them I was just there to pick something up, but they wouldn't leave me alone."
Amelia giggled, "It's because they care. They're just curious and they wanna see these little sweetpeas," she placed a kiss on Kari's forehead, watching as he blinked slowly - it was becoming harder and harder for him to keep his eyes open.
The baby boy wasn't the only one who was visibly tired. Loki had laid down on the recliner, cushioning his head on the puffy pillow, his eyes just slightly glazed. The sleepless few nights hadn't only been taking a toll on Amelia, Loki was also lacking energy, which really said something given his biology allowed him to go longer than a human without needing sleep. Hopefully their new arrangement of taking turns feeding would make things easier.
It was put to the test that night, after Amelia had pumped a few bottles worth of milk over the course of the day intermittently between feeds, when Amelia found herself rousing from sleep at the sound of mild crying which would soon grow louder if unseen to. She pushed herself up habitually, but Loki was already awake beside her, and gently pushed her back down, giving her cheek a loving kiss.
"You sleep, I'll settle them," he promised, sounding oddly excited, and Amelia gave an unintelligible moan in response, barely conscious enough to register Loki's exact words, and fuzzy enough that she easily fell back asleep within a couple of minutes.
Until she was awoken by the telltale sound of one of the babies rousing from slumber, the steadily growing almost-cry that sent off an alarm in her brain that screamed get up, it's time to feed them, and rolled over to look through the curtain. Amelia wasn't sure how long it had been since Loki had gotten up initially, but he was still over by the cribs, in the process of picking up the child that was whimpering for attention, a bottle already prepared in hand.
Perhaps she had merely blacked out for a few minutes, but Loki looked like he could handle it, so Amelia rested her head back and let sleep take her once again.
The next time she woke up, it was morning and Loki wasn't lying beside her.
A sudden jolt ran through her due to the sudden realisation that she hadn't woken to feed the babies all night, and Amelia worriedly clambered across the bed to peer through the curtain over at the cribs. Loki was lounged across the recliner with a book in hand, resting his head in his palm as he read, and on the table Amelia could see the empty bottles she had filled up with milk the previous day.
Loki must have fed the children every time they woke up hungry. Amelia frowned in puzzlement, she had thought they were going to take turns.
"How long have you been up?" Amelia asked quietly, mindful that the babies were still very much asleep.
Loki looked around, "A while," he answered, "how did you sleep, love?"
"Uh, very well, apparently," was her curious reply, "I was under the impression we were gonna go back and forth with feeding them?"
Loki shrugged slightly, giving a subtle smile, "Well, you were exhausted. Midgardians tire much more easily than Asgardians, I thought it fitting to give you a break. Plus, I like feeding them," he admitted.
Amelia appreciated that her husband was looking out for her, and she found it very sweet that he enjoyed giving the babies their bottles, but she didn't want Loki to run his energy levels dry ensuring she got a full night's sleep, "Just remember that we're doing this together, so if you get sleepy, it's my turn, okay?"
"Of course," Loki stood, shaking his head dismissively, "it's no matter. I can go more than a week without sleeping, anyway. I like… watching over them," he said, gravitating closer to the cribs that their children were currently occupying, blissfully unaware of the world around them.
While the thought of several full nights of sleep was lovely, she didn't want Loki to stay up seven days and nights in a row for her sake, "We'll take turns tonight, okay?" She tried, hoping not to shovel all of that responsibility onto her husband.
"Mm, sure."
Loki didn't appear to be listening to her. He was very quickly engaged with the sleeping infants, too taken with observing them as they slept, which was terribly endearing. He was attentive with their needs and had already begun to decipher the subtle differences in their cries that explained whether they were hungry, needed changing, or just wanted attention. Amelia chalked it up to his finely-tuned hearing, and figured it would naturally take her a little longer to interpret Kari and Aster's crying correctly.
That night, yet again, Loki got up every time the children roused. Amelia woke long enough to witness her husband gently rocking Kari, looking down at him like the little bundle was the sun, stars and moon all in one. Even in her haze, Amelia felt the rush of wholesome adoration at the scene before her, shortly before dropping off the sleep once more.
The next few nights proceeded in a similar fashion. Loki vehemently volunteered to be the sole carer for the babies during the night, awarding Amelia the gift of restful sleep at the expense of his own energy.
Amelia could see that it was beginning to affect him - he was beginning to display that drowsy look every so often, as if his body was begging him to just rest his eyes for a few moments, before he blinked himself out of it. Eventually, Amelia had had enough of letting Loki deprive himself of rest.
She got out of bed one morning, padding over to the recliner Loki had taken to sitting on whenever he wanted to look over Kari and Aster, and tapped his shoulder, knocking him out of his foggy stupor. His head had been hanging forward as he leant with his elbows on his knees, practically asleep already in an uncomfortable position; he straightened up at the contact, to which Amelia smiled and kissed his forehead.
"You need sleep, go to bed," she told him, and Loki rolled his eyes, refuting her words with a shake of his head.
"I'm fine, I'm awake."
"You weren't a few seconds ago. You haven't slept for days, at least go take a quick nap."
"No, it's okay, I don't need to."
Amelia quickly grew frustrated with her husband's stubbornness, "Look, go take a half hour nap, and then we'll go for breakfast, alright?" She'd added a little firmness to her voice, and Loki gazed up at her momentarily, blinking slowly, before relenting.
"Fine… half an hour," he finally agreed, pushing himself up. He gave Amelia a loving kiss that lasted several delightful seconds, and then smiled tiredly at her before making his way to the cushioned bed. He all but collapsed upon it, and Amelia heard his breathing even out within minutes.
She quickly dressed herself and, with the help of a very quiet servant, took the babies down to the throne room so that she could eat breakfast and breastfeed the babies without waking her enervated husband.
Amelia expected a few hours would pass, and then Loki would rejoin her - perhaps a little disoriented and grumpy for being lied to - and they could continue to go about their day as usual, caring for their infants. So it was somewhat of a surprise when almost the entire day passed before Loki showed his face again.
The prince managed to get a full nine hours of sleep before awakening, probably in a panic to the sight of an empty bedroom. Amelia had found it lightly amusing when Loki rushed into the throne room during the late afternoon banquet, still dressed in his flowing green robe, hair crinkled and unbrushed, in a pretty flustered state. He did appear a little more alert than this morning, however.
Amelia was in the middle of enjoying her meal. She'd been awarded a break from watching the two tiny tots by herself thanks to Thor, Inga and Signy, who had all offered to entertain the infants while she ate. Glancing up at her ruffled husband, she smiled, "Sleep well, Loki?"
"You lied to me," Loki pointed out flatly, "you said you'd wake me up after half an hour."
Amelia popped a grape into her mouth, chewed and swallowed, and spoke, "I do believe I never said anything about waking you up. You slept as long as you needed. That's what happens after you stay up for a whole week looking after our children instead of sensibly splitting the parenting tasks with me." Her smile turned self-satisfied at the pouty expression Loki rapidly covered up.
Amelia followed Loki's gaze to Signy, who sat just to her right, happy at the sight of the Asgardian woman playing peek-a-boo with a very animated Kari. The boy was wide awake, unlike during the other eighteen or so hours of the day, and he wriggled his little arms and legs energetically when Signy pulled her hands away from her face and said 'boo!'
Then, Loki turned to Thor and Inga, who were sitting near the head of the long table, and he fastened his robe a little more securely before marching over to his brother with a firm expression on his face, endeavouring to look as intimidating as he could while in his current attire.
"You know, brother," Thor began when he saw the other approaching, "your daughter is very strong for one her size." The infant had her hand wrapped tightly around Thor's index finger and didn't seem to be relenting her hold.
There was a hint of something in Loki's expression that looked almost… jealous? Like he was envious of any moment his children spent being held by anybody else. Amelia couldn't really understand why Loki could possibly be jealous because of that, but Loki was a complex individual with complex emotions, so she had learned there were some occasions where attempting to figure him out would be a waste of time.
"Well, I think I'll be taking her back now. She's missing her father." Loki took his daughter back from Thor, to the latter's dismay, somehow convincing Aster to release the king's finger, and cradled her in his arms. It was clear to everybody present that Aster had been perfectly content in her uncle's care, Loki wasn't fooling anyone. Aster quickly transferred her impeccable grip to Loki's finger instead, and he sent his brother a smug look.
"What's that, Aster?" Loki questioned curiously, before proceeding to lean down like the infant was whispering something furtively into his ear, "You think Uncle Thor smells awful? Well, that's a very impolite thing to point out, but… I can't say I disagree."
Amelia snorted at the childish act, running a hand down her face. At least her husband wasn't dead on his feet anymore. Perhaps that night, she'd be able to convince him to take turns with the kids.
More cute chapters to come! I'm particularly looking forward to first words ;)
If you're excited for more, leave a comment!
