Skulduggery said it was toast. Maybe, Valkyrie reflected, it had been bread once. But as she flipped over the charred lump, she highly doubted it.

He was hovering by the door. Valkyrie shot him a hesitant smile and looked back at the food.

Last night, they had broken into someone's house. The who wasn't important, but the when was. Valkyrie hadn't eaten all day by the time Skulduggery was easing open one of the windows. Her rumbling stomach had alerted the homeowner, who had proceeded to knee her in the face.

He had assured her he would make her breakfast to make up for the fact.

"You're not eating."

Valkyrie nodded. "Truly, the greatest, most observant detective in the world."

"Do you not like my cooking?"

Valkyrie looked back. He had managed to burn eggs. She hadn't thought it was possible, but there they were, blackened and charred around the edges. At least the orange juice was all right. She took a sip.

"You're hesitating. No, you're stalling."

"Well, it's just that a lot of it's… black."

"Black?"

"Well, burned." Valkyrie held up the 'toast.' "Really burned. You burned the eggs, even."

Skulduggery tilted his head. "You like things well-done."

"Yes, I like steak well-done. My eggs, on the other hand…"

Skulduggery crossed his arms. "Valkyrie, I feel as though you're being a little unappreciative. You kept reminding me that you were hungry, and I told you I would make breakfast."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes, smiling. "Yeah, but I thought you were joking. You can't cook."

There was a silence.

"I can cook."

"No, you can't. Remember the birthday cake?"

Skulduggery straightened. "You liked the birthday cake."

"It's not like I blame you or anything." Valkyrie sunk down into the covers, placing the plate on the side table. "You have been a skeleton for most of your life. I don't, like, expect you to know how to cook."

"I can cook," he insisted.

She pulled a face and nodded. "Okay."

"I can!"

"I'm not disagreeing."

"Stop smiling."

Valkyrie tried, she really did, but Skulduggery ended up storming out of the room, her laugher trailing him down the hallway.


You guys are fooling yourselves if you think the Skulman can cook.