Over the next few weeks, Mei-Li avoided Caroline. She was similar to her mother in regard to running away from any romantic feelings that slowly crept to the surface. She had hidden her feelings for Jenny in college until Everly had finally convinced her to take a chance on love, and look at how well that relationship had turned out. So in the meantime, she threw herself into her work in the hopes that she would forget about her feelings for Caroline, though working in the same hospital presented an added challenge for Mei-Li.
One morning, Eric and Mei-Li were covering the ER with Morgan when a patient was brought in via ambulance, though both Eric and Mei-Li recognized the patient. "Patient is Suzanne Anderson. She fell off the deck while helping her husband make repairs. Complaining of chest pain, possible broken ribs, no suspicion of head trauma," the EMT informed them.
Morgan had been informed by Melendez about the prior DV investigation, so she looked over at her residents, who both had questioning looks on their faces. She smiled at Suzanne and said, "Hi, Mrs. Anderson. I'm Dr. Reznick, and this is Dr. Harrison and Dr. Lim-Melendez. Can you tell me what happened?"
"Daniel and I were making repairs to our balcony when I fell over the unstable railing," she said, though all three physicians could tell she was lying.
Morgan accepted the lie anyway for now, and said, "Well, you might have some broken ribs, so we're going to send you up to radiology for a chest x-ray and also perform a CT scan to check on your previous TBI."
They escorted Suzanne to radiology, and while she was having her chest x-ray taken, Morgan, Eric, and Mei-Li took the opportunity to talk. "It's the second time in less than three months she's been brought in for an accident," said Eric.
"I know, I've read the paperwork and test results Dr. Melendez provided me," said Morgan. "But we couldn't do anything the last time, as there wasn't enough evidence of DV."
Mei-Li knew she shouldn't open her mouth yet again, but she said, "I have an idea. One that doesn't involve calling the police."
"Absolutely not," said Lim to Mei-Li.
"Why not?" asked Mei-Li incredulously.
"Mei-Li, it's not our jobs as surgeons to discuss our personal lives every time we have a patient in a similar situation. We don't go talking about our personal lives every time we have a patient who's Latino or Asian, and you don't introduce yourself as bisexual to every patient who's a part of the LGBTQ community. This situation is no different," said Melendez.
"But maybe, just maybe, Daniel Anderson would admit he needs help. He doesn't need to get involved with the police; he needs therapy," said Mei-Li adamantly. "He might be just scared to admit it with the stigma. Mom, you told me you didn't want to admit you needed help."
"It's different, Mei-Li," said Lim.
"Why?" asked Mei-Li.
"Dr. Lim-Melendez, your father is right. We really shouldn't be stating our personal problems to our patients," said Lim.
Mei-Li sighed in defeat and went to leave. She turned back and said, "You know, I've heard you both discuss standing up for your patients and helping them get the proper treatment they needed no matter what it took. And those two strong individuals raised me to be the same way."
Mei-Li left Lim's office, and the couple sighed. "She's right, you know?" said Melendez.
"I know she is," said Lim, taking a seat on the sofa. "I've shared stories with many of my patients so they would know they weren't alone. Just that it's hard to keep rewarding Mei-Li for this outspokenness."
"I wonder where she gets it from?" Melendez asked rhetorically, sat down next to Lim, and took her hand. "Now I understand how frustrating we must've been as residents and attending surgeons."
Lim chuckled and laid her head on Melendez's shoulder. "Those were the days," she said. "If someone would have told me on the first day of residency that thirty-eight years later, I'd be married to you, birthed two of your children, and we'd both be running St. Bonaventure together, I would've laughed in their face."
"Can't say I would have believed them either," admitted Melendez. He took a deep breath and said, "I think you and I both know what we have to do with this particular patient."
Lim nodded in agreement. "Yes, I do."
Lim quietly knocked on the door before entering Suzanne's hospital room. She smiled warmly at the couple and said, "Hi Mrs. Anderson, Mr. Anderson, I'm Dr. Audrey Lim-Melendez, and I am president of the hospital. May I talk to you both about something?"
"Of course," answered Suzanne, though she looked a little apprehensive.
Lim sat down at the desk chair and rolled it over to Suzanne's bedside. "I notice you've been making a lot of visits to the hospital recently."
"Yeah, well, Daniel and I have been doing remodels to our house, and I've always been a clumsy one. And he leaves for another tour in three months, so we've been trying to rush the repairs," said Suzanne.
"So you're in the military?"
"U.S. Army, ma'am," said Daniel.
"Well, thank you for your service to our country. I acknowledge how big of a sacrifice military life and combat life can be," said Lim. And that's when Lim noticed it; Daniel flinched when she mentioned combat. "I believe the last time you were treated, Dr. Mei-Li Lim-Melendez treated you?"
"Yes," said Suzanne.
"Is she your daughter, ma'am?" asked Daniel.
"Yes, and she mentioned about you going through treatment for PTSD," said Lim.
Finally, Suzanne started to cry, and Daniel said, "Honey, don't cry."
"Daniel, I don't know how much longer I can keep up the lie. I don't want them to call the police, but you hurt me. And Melanie too. All because you won't stay in treatment."
"Mrs. Anderson," said Lim, "I know it's difficult, but you have to understand where your husband is coming from. To face your innermost demons. To get worse before you get better. It's a rough recovery." Suzanne looked a little taken aback, but Daniel suddenly gained a sense of comfort, like someone understood his struggles personally. "A long time ago, I was working the ER, and I contracted a respiratory virus similar to SARS or COVID-19," Lim shared with ease now. "I almost didn't make it, and I had to be isolated. There were times I had to be put in a medically-induced coma because I would try to rip out my ventilator tube in my delirious state. There were times my fever would spike so high that they thought my organs would begin to shut down; they even considered putting me on dialysis at one point, and I had to be put on ECMO to oxygenate my blood. It was an experience I never wanted to discuss ever again. I had the same things you probably have: the flashbacks, the nightmares, the triggers, the irritability, and the numbness, like you constantly have your own horror movie playing inside your head. When my husband, or my boyfriend at the time, suggested I had PTSD, I didn't want to believe him. I wanted to forget the nightmarish experience I went through, not talk to a stranger, or anyone else for that matter, about it. There were many times during my treatment that I wanted to quit too; I thought it wasn't helping, that I would never get better, and what was the point of going through it all. But the main thing that helped me get through the treatment process was a supportive partner."
Daniel and Suzanne looked at each other, like they were having a silent conversation, before Suzanne said, "But I don't know how to be a supportive partner."
"And the rage I feel…I don't mean to hurt Suzanne and Melanie, but I don't know how to control it," admitted Daniel. "I want nothing more than to be able to talk about my experiences with ease the way you just did, but…"
"I understand," said Lim sympathetically. "And I can't promise you it ever fully goes away, but you can learn to live with it. I mean, the COVID pandemic in 2020 was awful for me. The news was constantly reminding me about what I had gone through, and I had a newborn at home and I was a first-time mom. But I had found my support system with my husband and friends along with my therapist. If you'd like, I know a therapist who specializes in PTSD, and she also offers couples counseling. Not only will she help you through your trauma, but she teaches you techniques on how to stay calm during flashbacks, and also helps partners understand their significant other's feelings and vice versa. She gave me my life back; I can help you schedule an appointment with her if you'd like?"
Daniel and Suzanne looked at each other again, and Suzanne squeezed her husband's hand. He nodded. "Okay."
Later that night, Lim and Mei-Li were preparing dinner while Melendez worked on some forms in the office. Lim turned to Mei-Li and said, "You were right about Daniel and Suzanne." Mei-Li grinned proudly, and Lim said, "Don't give me the same smug look your father does when I stroke his ego. I'm still your mother and your boss."
"Fine," said Mei-Li. She took a nervous breath and said, "So, the holiday gala is next Friday."
"Mmhm," nodded Lim. "And?"
"I don't know whether or not I should ask Caroline to go with me," admitted Mei-Li.
Lim nodded and said, "Well, what do you want to do?"
"I want to go with her," said Mei-Li. "And I know she likes me and we've been out with Morgan and Claire. I just don't know if she'd want to go to something this major because she might not be like me."
"Out and proud?" Lim asked jokingly.
"Yes," said Mei-Li. "All of those donors are going to be there, and former hospital employees and current surgeons…it's all so overwhelming."
"Well, I can't say I understand exactly how you're feeling, because I've never had to have the same fears about disclosing a relationship the way you do, but I can try to offer some advice." Mei-Li nodded and Lim continued, "Have I told you the story of how I got together with your father?"
"Many times, but I'm sure you'd be glad to tell me again," quipped Mei-Li.
"Well, I did what you did—denied my feelings for him, told myself it was just a great friendship, told myself it wasn't good to get involved with him because all of my feelings for him were fake, and to keep it a professional and platonic relationship. Guess what? The heart won out in the end."
"After some bourbon," said Mei-Li.
"Smart ass." Lim smiled at her. "The point is, there's no use running away from feelings, because somehow, it will catch up with you and make a fool out of you."
Mei-Li finally gained the courage to talk to Caroline for the first time since their kiss. She sat down across from her in the cafeteria and Caroline smiled when she saw her fellow resident. "Hi, Mei-Li."
"Hi," Mei-Li greeted. "Listen…about the last time we spoke…"
"Where we kissed and admitted we like each other?" asked Caroline hesitantly.
"Yes, that time," said Mei-Li. "Well, the holiday gala is next week and…I was wondering…if you wanted to go together."
Caroline lowered her voice. "Like on a date?"
"Yes," said Mei-Li. "You don't have to if you don't want to. I understand. Oh, and I'm not a lesbian, I'm bisexual," Mei-Li blurted out nervously.
"Okay." Caroline chuckled amusingly.
"That bothers some people, and with the biphobia out there, I wanted to lay the cards out on the table from the beginning. Can you tell talking about my feelings isn't my strong suit?"
"Mei-Li," Caroline took Mei-Li's hands in hers, "I would love to go to the gala with you."
