Zelena might have reminded him of a crazed child, but unfortunately, she was also a smart child, which meant that he had to plan accordingly. When he left he appeared in Regina's room as he'd told her but cast a spell ensuring that the young witch wouldn't be able to break into a mirror or use a cauldron to spy on him. After that he waited. And snooped a bit. With Regina safely out on a diplomatic mission and Zelena unaware, he had to be sure to take enough time that she'd believe he was with her, teaching her. To his own interest as he looked around the room, he found a small hand mirror sitting on her vanity. There were stains on it that he recognized. Tears. She'd been crying lately. That was important information…and maybe something else. To fill his time he waved his hand to work his magic. He hydrated the little plop he found then carefully pulled the tear from the mirror and stuck it in a vial with a preservation spell for a rainy day. While he was there he also made sure to collect samples of her hair. He never did like to see anything go to waste. When his work was done, and he was certain it was enough time to leave the girl's skin green, he took himself back to his castle, to his Tower, and wasn't surprised to hear breathing at the steps that he knew didn't come from Jefferson. She was there, waiting, listening for his return. She was waiting for him to settle. So he sat down in front of his wheel and gave it a turn, hard enough for the squeaks to confirm to her that he was there and working hard on something that wasn't Regina or Zelena. And then he heard the sound of the door at the bottom of the stairs close, and he knew it was time.

He had to work fast. He had only a hunch and a hope that she'd prepare herself before taking off but had no promises how long her preparations would take. In the blink of an eye he imagined himself standing in Regina's room, and then he was there. He sat down quickly at the vanity and performed a simple glamour spell to give the illusion that he was Regina just back from a lesson with her teacher, preparing innocently enough for bed. He picked up the brush he'd just taken her hair from and held back a laugh at how strange and elaborate this was before closing his eyes to attempt to find out how long this was going to take.

Over the long years he'd gotten better at all of this, at seeing the future on demand, but usually it only came in flashes. It was, after all, a power that had never been meant for him, and it still showed when he used it. He often felt like he was fighting with it rather than using it. But as he concentrated, he could see something. Flashes, just like always, but not exactly what he'd wanted to see.

He saw the color green, he saw a razor blade, the shoes Zelena always wore, Jefferson saying "I'll try again soon", and then he had a feeling, a pain in his chest like his heart was being squeezed, and a small vial in a fair-skinned hand. He had the sensation of wanting that vile though he couldn't quite figure out why or when or even-

She'd been faster than even he had thought she might be. It was barely two minutes since he'd arrived and begun playing the role of his less talented student that he felt a flare of magic behind him and was pulled out of his vision. He knew the real Regina wouldn't have felt that magic yet. A pity, really. One day she'd get there, but it wasn't any time soon. Still, this proved that he was better off to use her than Zelena for as she crept up on him while he brushed the copy of Regina's hair, he knew that he'd gotten it wrong.

Regina was the one, even in her imperfection.

He put on a good show for Zelena. Gasping the moment that he felt Zelena throw her hands around him and put a razor blade to his neck.

"Don't make a sound," she hissed into the mirror at Regina, her face hideous and contorted with rage and mania. And still there to see, a green neck. If she thought this would do away with that, she was sorely mistaken. "Rumpelstiltskin is wasting his time with you. You don't deserve him. You don't deserve any of this. Our mother couldn't see, and neither can he. But I'll show them they're wrong!"

And with that, she plunged the blade deep into Regina's neck, an injury the Queen certainly wouldn't survive but one the Dark One wouldn't have feared. Still…that didn't mean it wasn't painful, and he was quick to use magic to ease that pain and end the illusion. He laughed as he revealed himself to her, laughed as her face fell and her eyes filled with panic and confusion when he pulled the blade from his neck and concentrated his magic there to heal himself before even a trickle of blood could escape. He'd been careless with his blood once before around her mother, it wasn't something he was likely to do again around either of her daughters.

"Surprise, dearie! As I always said, jealousy drives people to do-" he rose and tossed the blade onto the dresser "-crazy things."

Test complete. As he walked away, replaying her words in his head, there was no doubt in his mind anymore. She couldn't cast the curse. At least, she couldn't cast it and take him with her. Spending time on her was useless.

"You tricked me."

"Consider it a test. One you failed," he dismissed.

"Yeah, but…I was just trying to make your decision easier. And show you that I'm all powerful. That I'm the one who's going to cast your curse!" she cried, her footsteps echoing after him. It was a childish response for a woman who would always be a girl. A girl desperate for her father's love. A girl trying to prove she was more than she seemed. A girl who wanted nothing more than to have someone love her. Prince Henry might not have been Cora's first choice, but he had to give the man credit, in loving Regina, he had spared her from becoming what Zelena was and given him the ability to have Regina cast the curse.

"I appreciate your efforts, dearie, but I'm afraid you just disqualified yourself," he explained snooping through Regina's things some more.

"What? Why?" she whined.

"Because casting the curse has a price. A steep one. You have to give up the thing you love most."

"I can do that," she smiled eagerly, taking those predictable steps toward him. She still didn't realize that every step betrayed her.

"That's the problem, dearie. The thing you love most is me."

In her own defense, she didn't blush like a teenage girl would have or let on any indication that he'd just embarrassed her. Instead, she laughed and took half of one step away from him as she shook her head in disbelief.

"You think I love you?"

"I'm a perceptive soul," he commented. There were all kinds of love, many different forms it could take. But it was clear as the only person that had ever taken her seriously or shown interest in her she had latched on to him. As a daughter, as a lover, as some grand romantic gesture, it didn't matter how at the moment. She'd been willing to kill Regina to keep him from being invested in anyone but her. She loved him. And that meant she couldn't cast the curse.

"You're insane," Zelena declared, too immature to see his own logic. Well…she wasn't wrong.

"Besides the point. Dearie, it's okay. I know, I have that effect on women. You love me and that, dearie, makes you too dangerous," he concluded.

"So…Regina…"

He stepped closer to get a good look at her neck as he said the next words. "Has the job."

He let out a high-pitched laugh as exactly what he thought might happen did. The green grew! It was a fascinating reaction, one that reminded him a bit of his own transformation into this beast. Only her own was preventable.

"You might wanna get that checked," he remarked.

"Forget the curse. I'll find another way to give you what you want!" she assured him.

He laughed. There was nothing he wanted. He wasn't interested in friendship nor companionship; he had gold and jewels at his disposal, more power than he could ever ask for, the only thing he didn't have was his son. And he wasn't about to expose Bae to Zelena once he got there, not if tonight had been any indication. No, if Zelena didn't go back to where he came from and remove herself from the path of Regina's Curse, he would have to do it for her. One good fist to her heart, and it would be done. He had the feeling the world would be a better place for it.

"Unless you can take me to a Land Without Magic, I'm afraid that's not possible."

He was trying to dismiss her, trying to get rid of her, to turn his back and give her the opportunity to strike so that he could strike first but she just-

"I can."

He turned back. Had he heard those words right? She could? Or she would? There were differences. One he was interested in, the other he was not, not after this. His way to Baelfire was through Regina. Not Zelena.

"I could have taken you there," she responded.

He looked her up and down, glanced over her ordinariness, and had the feeling she was posturing again. She just didn't want to lose him. This was nothing.

"How?" he challenged.

"These slippers," she looked down and raised the gown that she was wearing to reveal the shoes she'd come in, and suddenly he thought to wonder why she hadn't changed them since she'd arrived. She'd acquired clothes, jewelry, hats even…why hadn't she changed her shoes? And why hadn't he pressed how she had gotten from Oz to here harder? "The Wizard gave them to me, and they can take you anywhere you want to go."

Anywhere…

"Wizard…"

"But it's too late," she went on. She was walking toward him again, but now her steps were not eager; they were threatening. Her lips curled back over her teeth in a snarl like she so often bared when Regina was mentioned.

"Who said it's too late?" he questioned quickly, working up magic inside of himself to immobilize her so he might take those shoes and examine them.

"You chose her."

"Perhaps it was haste."

"I'm not naïve!" she spat back quickly. This time, when he took a step back, it was because the snake was showing her fangs. Love could come in many forms, but in each and every one it was delicate. One wrong move could damage it; one wrong word could break it. He was a fool, he'd forgotten that, and it was obvious now, he'd broken it.

"There's only one way you'll ever get these slippers from me. You'll have to kill me…"

Well, there was a surprise. The child truly wasn't naïve. And there was the hope. What she'd felt for him, he'd never felt for her, and so he wouldn't shed a single tear at her death.

"Well…if I must."

He summoned up his magic and leaped forward to throw a spell at her, but she was gone from view before he could attack.

"You shouldn't have taught me all your tricks, Rumple!" she called from the high ceilings. "I'll see you again…dearie! And next time, you will choose me!"

He moved to gather his magic again, but before he could form a single spell, she'd disappeared in a haze of green.


Farewell Zelena for a season or two or three. Like I said, there is still one more chapter left in this 3x16 series, but that's the last of Zelena we'll see for a while. It's a pretty straight forward chapter but it was a bitch to write. When you watch you get the feeling that Zelena goes to kill her sister the second Rumple says he's going to see her but I had to stop at some point and think "wait, if she knows Rumple is there, she can't go kill Regina or else he'd see and be angry with her. That was the reason for all the running around Rumple had to do in the beginning.

Thank you MerlockVonBaron, Alarda, Jennifer Baratta, and MissAmanda for your reviews on the last chapter! I hope you don't mind that I expanded it to conveniently include Rumple acquiring Regina's tear from the second season. Considering the rest of Regina's plot this seemed to be the best spot to put that little gem. I really didn't want him to have to take it off of her when she was crying to pulling it from a mirror seemed reasonable enough. Peace and Happy Reading!