AN: Songs: The Sword of Damocles, I Can Make You A Man, Hot Patootie-Bless My Soul, I Can Make You a Man (Reprise)


The other party guests all clapped with approval as Nora and Ren tossed Weiss and Neptune towels.

"There you go, Ice Queen," Roman chuckled, "He is helping you dry off!"

"Thank you!" Weiss sighed, she started drying herself off before she realized that the towel she had been given had blood all over it.

"Gross!" Weiss scoffed.

Nora dried off Neptune and took his jacket. Suddenly, both Ren and Nora grabbed the other duo's belts and undid them.

"Ren!" Weiss yelled.

"Not me!" Ren defended himself.

"If that's what you wanted…" Neptune started.

"If you finish that thought, I will break your legs!" Nora threatened.

Neptune shut up.

"Hey!" Weiss yelled indignantly, but Neptune just stood there with his arms folded.

"It's alright Weiss," He started comforting, but what he said next didn't really help the situation, "We'll play along for now and pull out the aces when the time's right."

Right as he finished, Nora pulled down his pants.

"Pull out the aces?" Sun asked his friend with a raised eyebrow.

"Shut up! Like your quips are any better," Neptune bit back.

"It looks like Hammerhead pulled out his ace," Neo teased, causing Yang and Mercury to burst out laughing.

Ruby approached, having ditched the hat and coat, and replacing the bow with a choker, "Oh, slowly, slowly. It's too nice a job to rush," She said eyeing Neptune's package, which was only covered by his underwear.

"Ruby!" Yang yelled, "You do not talk like that!"

Ruby blushed, but didn't say anything.

Ren started removing Weiss's dress.

"Hi," Neptune began to introduce himself to the newcomer, "My name's Neptune Vasilias, and this is my fiancée, Weiss Schnee." Nora removed his shirt, now he was just standing in his underwear.

Weiss flashed a smile at Ruby before glaring at Ren. Neptune looked at Ruby, who was standing with an arm out, collecting the soaked clothes, "And you are?" he asked.

"That's a good point," Tai noted, "They haven't been introduced to anybody yet."

"But is it a good idea to do it in our underwear?" Weiss complained, slightly embarrassed at seeing herself nearly naked.

Ruby didn't answer but had some thoughts, "You're very lucky to be invited up to Jaune's laboratory. Some people would give their right arm for the privilege."

Neptune smirked, "People like you maybe?"

"I can guarantee you," Ozpin stated, "No one here wants to see his laboratory."

"I would very much like to see it," Penny disagreed, "Maybe it contains technology Father can use to help people. Though, I wouldn't give my right arm for it."

"Hah!" Ruby gave off a very fake and indignant laugh, "I've seen it," she bit back, before tossing the clothes over her head and storming out. Neptune and Weiss tried to gather their belongings, but were quickly herded out of the room by Nora.

"Ruby!" Weiss complained, "My clothes!"

"Sorry, Weiss!" she apologized.

The clock struck midnight again, which was strange.

"Midnight again?" Summer questioned, "Wasn't it already midnight?"

"Perpetual midnight…" Cinder wondered in awe.

Ren stood by the elevator holding a bottle of champagne. He poured a glass, before taking a swig from the bottle.

"Told ya," Qrow sighed.

"You're a little dark, you know that right?" Roman asked.

"He knows," Raven, Summer, and Tai nodded.

After all five of them were in the elevator, Ren dropped the bottle with a crash, before starting the journey upwards.

Weiss looked at Ruby, "Is he, um – Jaune I mean. Is he your husband?"

"Hah!" Ruby gave off that same laugh again.

"I take that as a no," Pyrrha stated smugly.

"Given Jaune's attitude in this universe, I'd wait a little while before celebrating that," Velvet muttered to the champion.

"The master is not yet married, nor do I think he ever will be," Ren explained, "We are merely his… servants."

"I seemed unsure of that," Ren noted, "Almost like servant wasn't quite the right word."

"What other word is there?" Ruby asked.

"Slave," Ilia growled.

"Oh," Weiss nodded, before the ride continued in silence.

The elevator finally reached the lab and it was a sight to see. The floors were all marble, the walls lined with pink tiles. The room was one big oval. On one side was a small stage and a curtain, the other had a raised balcony where the other party guests were. On the wall underneath this balcony was a large red door, and a small section of control panels. Jaune stood in front of them in a green surgical smock. He was holding a pair of pink rubber gloves. Behind him was something covered in a red cloth.

"That's the laboratory?" Penny asked, "There's a lot less equipment than I thought there would be."

"How does he plan on doing it with this small of a lab?" Ozpin asked.

Ren opened the door and walked toward Jaune. He handed him the glass of champagne before moving on to take care of something else.

As Weiss and Neptune stood in the middle of the room, Jaune issued commands.

"Nora," he said and the orange-haired maid stepped forward.

"Ruby," same thing but this time it was the red-tipped girl.

"Go and assist Ren." The two moved to obey the order as Jaune continued, "I shall entertain…" He trailed off realizing he didn't know their names, but he outstretched his hand anyways.

Weiss got chills down her spine, "This whole universe just gives me the creeps."

"I hear you there, Weiss," Yang agreed.

Neptune stepped forward, "Neptune Vasilias," he clapped his hand against Jaune's and they shook.

"This is my fiancée, Veiss Schnee," He finished.

"Weiss!" Weiss (both of them) yelled at him.

"How did you forget her name?" Ruby wondered.

Jaune grabbed her hand and kissed it, "Enchante," he said, seductively.

"Nice to meet you," Gordeau translated, before the questions came out.

"Well," he walked around the couple and looked at the audience, "how nice."

As he finished his full circle of the nearly nude couple he commented, "And what charming underclothes you both have."

Neptune and Weiss blushed at the notion.

Ren appeared handing the duo two robes. "But here," Jaune continued, "put these on. They'll make you feel less," he paused for a moment to determine the best word, "vulnerable."

"Thank you," Weiss sighed out, "It's not clothes but at least I'm covered now."

He looked at the assembled crowd before continuing, "It's not often we receive visitors here, much less offer them hospitality." He took a drink as he finished.

"That's what he calls hospitality?" Winter questioned, "He's done nothing to help them and practically forced them to come see his laboratory."

"Yeah," Pyrrha noted, "It's obvious they don't want to be there."

"And he stripped them," Blake added.

"Hospitality?" Neptune asked incredulously. He then lost his cool, "All we wanted to do was to use your telephone, Godsdammit!"

"Whoa," Sun stated with wide eyes, "Neptune just lost his cool."

"Hey, man, I never lose my cool," Neptune scoffed.

Sun deadpanned his friend and held up a glass of water.

Neptune sighed, "Fine, you got me."

He walked up to Jaune who went wide-eyed at Neptune's anger, "A reasonable request which you've chosen to ignore!"

Weiss, while she agreed with Neptune, tried to defuse the situation, "Neptune, don't be ungrateful."

Jaune had a bored look on his face while Neptune yelled, "UNGRATEFUL?"

Jaune smirked, his seductive tone back, "How forceful you are, Neptune, such a perfect specimen of manhood," Jaune looked at him, his gaze moving down toward Neptune's package, "so dominant."

"Did I just flirt with him?" Jaune asked in shock.

Neptune went pale, "And you did a good job of it too."

The crowd snickered and Neptune realized his situation. He quickly closed his robe around his body.

Jaune moved over to Weiss, "You must be awfully proud of him, Weiss."

Neptune moved behind Jaune and Weiss blushed, "Well, yes, I am."

They both chuckled, before Jaune moved his gaze to Neptune again. He looked at him hungrily, "Do you have any tattoos, Neptune?"

"That's a strange question to ask," Ruby noted.

"He's so trying to get into your pants, dude," Sun teased his friend.

"Certainly not." Neptune responded, offended.

"Wait," Tai raised an eyebrow, "Are tattoos considered bad there?"

"Looks like it, Tai," Summer noted.

Jaune smirked, "Oh, well." He turned back to Weiss, "How about you?"

"I don't think any version of me is going to have a tattoo," Weiss scoffed.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that Weiss," Jaune noted, "Just look at this version of me."

Weiss had to admit he had a point.

Weiss giggled a little at Jaune's playful nature before Ren interrupted, "Everything is in readiness, master. We merely await your word."

Jaune's face turned annoyed. He forcefully handed Ren his drink and approached the stage. It now had a microphone on it that was flanked on both sides by Nora and Ruby, both wearing surgical masks.

"You may be right, Rainbow," Neo noted, "He does treat them more like slaves."

Ilia growled at the thought.

Neptune and Weiss turned to look at the stage while Ren walked off toward the control panel. Jaune got ready on stage and began his speech, "Tonight, my unconventional conventionists," he began, "you are to witness a new breakthrough in biochemical research. And paradise is to be mine!"

"Biochemistry?" Ozpin asked, astonished, "Is that what he's calling it?"

"Not Father's area of expertise, but we could still learn something," Penny noted.

Nora, Ruby, and the crowd began applauding, before Jaune continued, "It was strange the way it happened. Suddenly, you get a break." He stretched and snapped one of the rubber gloves in his hands.

"All the pieces seem to fit into place," he continued gesturing in a manner that suggested he was in pleasure, "What a sucker you've been. What a fool. The answer was there all the time."

"What answer?" Emerald wondered, "And to what question?"

"It took a small accident to make it happen," he stopped and glanced to his sides angrily, "AN ACCIDENT!"

Nora and Ruby grabbed his shoulders and whispered in unconvincing fake disbelief, "Accident?"

"And he's cruel, too," Blake noted, "This version of you sucks, Jaune."

"You're not wrong," Jaune admitted.

"And that's how I discovered the secret," Jaune continued like the outburst never happened, "That elusive ingredient."

He raised his hand to his face, "That spark," he fanned his fingers out, "that is the breath of life."

Winter shot up, "No!"

"Yes," Ozpin noted, solemnly.

"What is it, Winter?" Weiss asked.

"He's created life," Winter explained, "And I don't mean like Penny, I mean he pieced together someone out of body parts and brought them to life."

"So he's a mad scientist like in a horror movie?" Pyrrha asked.

"It would appear so," Raven grumbled.

Cinder realized now why this blonde annoyed her even more than the normal one did. He reminded her of Watts, if only vaguely.

He lowered his hand and breathed out quietly, "Yes, I have that knowledge."

"I hold the secret," he paused dramatically, "to life," and again, "itself."

The crowd, Nora, and Ruby began applauding again. Weiss, who had been wrapped up in the monologue, joined in enthusiastically before Neptune gave her a heated glare.

"Looks like someone got caught up in the speech," Neo teased.

Weiss shot her a death glare, while Yang grumbled, "Beat me by two seconds."

Jaune, Nora, and Ruby walked over to the red blanket from earlier. Nora and Ruby each grabbed a side while Jaune stood in front.

He snapped on one of his gloves before silencing the crowd, "You see," he began, "you are fortunate. For tonight is the night," he snapped the other glove on, "that my beautiful creature is destined to be born!"

"He invited all these people over and hasn't even finished it yet?" Ilia noted, "Talk about arrogance."

"Seems like something I would do," Roman noted, "I did always have a flair for the dramatic."

Jaune threw his arms out in dramatic fashion and the crowd started up again. Ruby had an eager look in her eyes, while Nora looked fairly bored.

He silenced the crowd and turned around to face the blanket. He paused dramatically, before exclaiming, "Hupla!" Nora and Ruby threw off the blanket to reveal a glass case with red metal supports. The case was filled with water, and in the water was a bandaged figure.

"Interesting," Penny noted, "but I do not think I will be able to learn anything about the process."

"That's a good thing," Ozpin sighed.

"Yeah," Qrow couldn't believe he was agreeing with Oz but he was, "The last thing we need is another mad scientist around."

Everyone gasped and Jaune, Ruby, and Nora went behind the case. Jaune pointed to Ren and barked out orders, "Throw open the switches on the sonic oscillator." Ren did as he was told pulling down two switches. Jaune continued, "And step up the reactor power input three more points!" he placed a small pause between each of the last three words. Ren hit three wedge shaped buttons and the lights dimmed from the excess power usage.

"That all sounded like techno-babble to me," Roman noted.

"I lack the sufficient knowledge to tell you if that is true or not," Penny admitted.

Ren began turning a wheel and a device descended from the ceiling. Jaune looked up in fake shock.

Weiss glanced at Neptune, "Neptune?"

Neptune squeezed her close, "It's alright, Weiss."

"Is it?" Weiss questioned.

Jaune began laughing maniacally as the device reached him. The device looked like seven tanks on a red light. It had color coated nozzles, one for every color of the rainbow. Jaune began frantically turning dials in order with an insane look on his face.

Everyone looked at the scene in shock, this version of Jaune looked absolutely maniacal.

"I'm glad you're not like that," Pyrrha muttered.

The container died itself in a layered rainbow. Jaune frantically turned the nozzles off. The light on the device flashed and evaporated all the water. The figure in the tank lifted its arms and growled.

"Well, if we didn't already know he was making this 'Cardin,' I'd say he was making you," Neo teased as she poked Ilia in the ribs.

Ilia giggled as it tickled her.

It stood up as Jaune and Ren approached. The crowd applauded. Ren removed the bandages around its head to reveal Cardin.

Jaune gasped at the site, "Oh, Cardin!" he screamed in delight.

"Yep," Emerald rolled her eyes, "We were right."

"Yeah," Mercury groaned, "Still something I didn't need to know."

Cardin growled and Ren returned to the crank. He raised the device, but unknown to him Cardin grabbed on and was lifted to the ceiling. Music started up.

"Oops," Ren muttered.

Yang chuckled to herself, "Cardin's going to sing? I can't imagine it."

C: The sword of Damocles is hangin' over my head.

"The sword of who now?" Blake asked.

"Damocles," Gordeau explained, "His only claim to fame was sitting on a throne with a sword hanging by a single thread over it, to represent the dangers of power."

"Oh," Pyrrha remembered, "I was told that story once before, but with a different person."

C: And I've got the feeling someone's gonna be cuttin' the thread.

Jaune ran over to Ren and kicked him, "You idiot!"

"Jaune!" Nora yelled at her team leader, "Leave Ren alone!"

"I would never do that!" Jaune defended himself.

C: Oh, woe is me. My life is a misery.

C: Oh-oh can't you see

Ren got up from the floor and lowered Cardin back down.

C: That I'm at the start of a pretty big downer.

Jaune tried to help Cardin down, but he jumped to the floor in front of the tank instead. Jaune fell in, and Ruby and Nora started removing Cardin's bandages.

Velvet grimaced, "Please tell me he's not naked."

"Yeah," Sun added, "I don't think any of us want to see that."

C: I woke up this mornin' with a start when I fell out of bed.

The crowd got involved. Ruby and Nora removed Cardin's arm wrappings. Jaune stood up and gushed at the sight.

"Except that version of Jaune," Ruby noted as she watched.

Yang shot Ruby a questioning glance, but shrugged it off as her sister being observant.

CR: That ain't no crime

C: And left from my dreaming was a feeling of unnameable dread.

"Really?" Qrow questioned, "He was just born and he's already depressed?"

"You two have something in common," Raven smirked.

CR: That ain't no crime

C: My high is low

C: I'm dressed up with no place to go

The leg bandages were removed as Jaune went to wrap his arms around Cardin's shoulders.

C: And all I know, is I'm at the start of a pretty big downer.

Jaune screamed, "Oh, Cardin!"

Jaune sighed, "I'm just glad Cardin's not here to see this, I'd never hear the end of it."

Blake smirked, "But neither would he."

Cardin tried to run away, but Ruby grabbed his chest bandages. Instead of running, Cardin began twirling, slowly removing the remaining bandages.

CR: Sha la la la la ain't no crime

C: Oh, no, no, no

CR: Sha la la la ain't no crime

C: Oh, no, no,no

CR: Sha la la la aint no crime

Ren walked over carrying Jaune piggy back. Jaune screamed again, "Oh, Cardin!" before Ren lost his footing and fell dropping both of them to the floor.

"Ren!" Nora exclaimed and pointed at the screen.

Ren chuckled, "Later, Nora."

Nora grumbled, but acquiesced.

CR: That ain't no crime

Cardin's bandages fell off, revealing him to be wearing only a small gold speedo and gold shoes. He ran up to the crowd on the balcony before continuing.

"That is more of Cardin than I ever wanted to see," Weiss recoiled.

C: The sword of Damocles is hangin' over my head.

Jaune picked himself up and looked annoyed at Cardin, "Oh, really!"

CR: That ain't no crime.

Jaune followed Cardin up the ramp. Cardin mingled with the crowd, letting them ogle and touch his muscular body.

"Okay," Pyrrha noted, "That does seem like something Cardin would do."

"He always did like the attention," Yang noted.

C: And I've got the feeling someone's gonna be cuttin' the thread

CR: That ain't no crime

Jaune was crawling through the crowd trying to get to Cardin.

C: Oh, woe is me. My life is a mystery.

Jaune was close enough now he leaned down and kissed Cardin's ankles. Cardin was pleading to one of the guests before looking behind him with a terrified expression.

"Boy, I can have a field day with this," Mercury chuckled.

"Didn't know you where into that Mercury," Emerald teased.

"What?" Mercury looked at her confused before shaking his head, "No, I meant the blonde here in this room is clearly embarrassed by this. We can tease him endlessly."

"Oh," Emerald muttered.

C: Oh, can't you see? That I'm at the start of a pretty big downer.

Jaune shook his fist and cried, "CARDIN!"

Cardin ran down the ramp as fast as he could.

CR: Sha la la la ain't no crime

C: Oh, no, no, no

Jaune ran after him. He lifted his smock and squealed.

"Oh, he's got it bad," Neptune chuckled.

"What in the world are we watching?" Winter finally snapped out of the daze she had been in since the beginning of the song.

CR: Sha la la la ain't no crime

C: Oh, no, no no

Ruby, Ren, and Nora were dancing a little to the catchy tune. Cardin and Jaune ran around the whole room and back up to the balcony.

CR: Sha la la la ain't no crime. That ain't no crime.

The crowd parted for Cardin but kept getting in Jaune's way.

CR: Sha la la la ain't no crime

C: Oh, no, no, no

CR: Sha la la la ain't no crime

As the duo ran back down the ramp, Jaune tripped and fell. Cardin made his way back to the tank and sat on the edge.

C: Oh, no, no, no

CR: Sha la la la ain't no crime. That ain't no crime. Sha la la

The music ended. Jaune walked over to Cardin. He was out of breath. "Well, really!" he scolded, "That's no way to behave on your first day out!"

"Did he just sound like a parent there, or was it just me," Summer asked.

"He did," Tai agreed, "Which makes the relationship even stranger."

Everyone recoiled at the thought.

Cardin pouted and began to sulk. Jaune's face softened.

He inspected Cardin's body before continuing, "But, um, since you're such an exceptional beauty," he fondled Cardin's leg, "I'm prepared to forgive you."

"What did he do wrong?" Jaune asked, "He's done nothing I'd be mad about."

"With the way this you thinks," Sun noted, "Probably just rejecting you was enough."

Cardin happily began banging his hands on the metal. Jaune swooned and walked behind the tank again. He was joined by Nora and Ren, while Ruby stood opposite Cardin.

"Oh," Jaune said happily, "I just love success!"

"He's a credit to your genius, master." Ren commented.

Jaune smiled and Nora joined in, "A triumph of your will."

Jaune beamed now as Ruby tried, "He's ok!"

Jaune's smile dropped as he glared at Ruby in anger. Ren looked at her in amusement, and Nora gave her a look that said 'you shouldn't have said that.'

"What did I do?" Ruby asked.

"Denied his ego," Neo noted, "Like what Roman does when he calls your weapon an oversized gardening tool."

"Hey," Ruby stood up, "Crescent Rose is a beautiful piece of machinery with very delicate parts and…"

She stopped when she saw Neo smirking at her. "Oh," Ruby went wide-eyed, "Point taken."

"Okay?" Jaune asked incredulously, He slammed his hand on the metal before yelling, "OKAY?" He grabbed Cardin's hand and led him to Weiss and Neptune, "I think we can do better than 'okay!'"

Jaune put his arm around Cardin's shoulder, "Now, Neptune and Weiss," He smiled at them, "What do you think of him?"

"Well, I never met the guy," Neptune noted, "But he has a nice body. If Jaune want's a compliment on his work I'd say good job."

"Too many muscles," Weiss mentioned.

Weiss was surprised she was being asked, "Oh. Well," she searched her brain for the correct response, "I don't like men with too many muscles."

"Well, that explains a lot," Blake noted with a smirk.

Weiss glared her. Meanwhile, Neptune looked down at his body, "I thought I was decently buff."

She looked up to Neptune but saw he had a disappointed look on his face. She had just inadvertently insulted him. Jaune glared at her angrily, and Cardin looked down trodden.

"And that," Yang chuckled, "Is why they call you the Ice Queen."

"I've gotten better!" Weiss defended herself.

"I didn't make him," Jaune started before switching to yelling, "FOR YOU!"

Weiss gasped as Jaune led Cardin over to a covered object that was previously not in the room.

"How'd that get there?" Velvet wondered.

"He carries the Xiao-Long seal of approval." Jaune stated proudly. He pulled the cover off the item to reveal a weight set. It had a tag on it that said, "Happy Birthday, Cardin!"

"The what now," Tai wondered.

Gordeau chuckled, "I forgot about that. In this world, you're a bodybuilder with your own workout regiment. If someone completes it, they get your seal of approval."

Music started up again. Jaune sang while staring longingly at Cardin.

J: A weakling weighing ninety-eight pounds, will get sand in his face when kicked to the ground.

Jaune sighed. A different version of him had just described his old life. Pyrrha put a hand on his shoulder.

J: And soon in the gym, with a determined chin.

Cardin read the tag and Jaune briefly caressed his chin.

J: The sweat from his pores, as he works for his cause

Jaune picked up some of the weights but fell forward as he handed them to Cardin.

Nora shook her head and clicked her tongue, "You've been slacking, Jaune. Looks like we have to break out my workouts again."

The rest of team JNPR plus Ruby shuttered at the thought.

J: Will make him glisten, and gleam.

J: And with massage, and just a little bit of steam

Jaune ran his fingers down Cardin's body from his chest down to right above his golden underwear.

"Jaune, stop being creepy," Ruby ordered.

"I would if I could control this version!" Jaune sighed.

Cardin starting exercising with the weight as Jaune walked down to right in front of the elevator.

J: He'll be pink and quite clean.

J: He'll be a strong man. Oh, honey, but the wrong man.

He wheeled out another covered object to right in front of the big red door.

J: He'll eat nutritious high protein, and shallow raw eggs

"Ew," Weiss gagged, "Why would you do that?"

"It's not safe to eat raw food like that," Winter agreed.

He pulled the cover off to reveal a gymnastics horse. Ruby approached carrying a container of skin oil.

J: Try to build up his shoulders

Cardin ran up to the horse like a little child. He jumped up on it.

J: His chest, arms, and legs

"I think I'd like to try your work out Nora," Yang stated with a smirk, "I think I can handle it."

"Me too," Sun added. Yang shot him a look but he shrugged her off, "Hey, you think I got these babies by sitting around doing nothing?" He pointed to his abs.

Nora grinned maniacally.

Jaune turned and looked at the audience again.

J: Such an effort. If he only knew of my plan.

He looked back to Cardin, who was being oiled up by Ruby.

Yang made a mental note to punch Cardin if she ever saw him again.

Ruby made a mental note to avoid Cardin from now on.

Weiss's thoughts drifted to what Ruby's hands would feel like on her. She shook the thought out of her head. What is wrong with me? Do I really have it that bad for her?

J: In just seven days.

The crowd joined in.

J, CR: I can make you a man.

"Phft," Nora scoffed, "I can do it if five!"

"That's not what he meant, Nora," Ren sighed.

Cardin jumped down and started doing push-ups.

J: He'll do press-ups, and chin-ups

J: Do the snatch, clean and jerk.

Ruby waved her fingers at Jaunes seductively as he got on the horse. Cardin stood up triumphantly.

Yang thought she may have to punch Jaune as well, but the thought was dashed when Ruby looked at Jaune quizzically then laughed it off. Yang recognized that laugh. It was the same one she used when Weiss suggested she go with Neptune way back when.

J: He thinks dynamic tension. Must be hard work.

Ruby walked away as Jaune began to (for lack of a better word) hump the horse.

"Jaune!" Pyrrha blushed at the act.

Jaune looked at her, then blushed as well.

J: Such strenuous living, I just don't understand.

He dismounted and wheeled the horse out of the way.

J: When in just seven days, oh, baby!

He pulled Cardin closer to the door and they looked into each other's eyes.

J: I can make you a man.

"He's got a few screws loose," Roman muttered.

Neo shot him a look that asked, 'Are you serious?'

The music stopped, and a red light next to the door began flashing. It was under a sign that said 'Deep Freeze.'

The door began to open and Jaune kind-of screamed as he pushed Cardin out of the way.

"Now what?" Ilia sighed, "I can only hope it's something sane."

Ruby, Weiss, and Neptune looked on before Ruby realized what was happening, "PENNY!" she yelled excitedly. She ran to the door with her arms out.

"Penny?" the room asked.

"Why was I in deep freeze?" Penny wondered.

"Why did Ruby sound so excited?" Weiss asked.

The door slammed open to reveal a wall of ice. Suddenly the ice was smashed by Penny riding in on a motorcycle. Instead of her normal dress, she was wearing jeans and a leather jacket that had 'Ruby' written across her shoulders. She was wearing a metal helmet and carried a saxophone.

"Umm," Penny couldn't come up with anything, "Is this what being speechless is like?"

Yang chuckled, "Penny's a biker chick!"

"What a strange departure," Winter stated wide-eyed.

"I should state that Penny is human in this universe," Gordeau noted.

Ruby gushed with excitement. Music started again as we saw Penny's face. She had a long gash across her forehead. She threw her helmet off and started singing.

"What happened to her head?" Velvet wondered.

"It looks like a nasty wound," Ilia grimaced.

Penny was stunned by the sight of herself bleeding. She never thought it was possible.

P: Whatever happened to Saturday night?

"The song is kicking so far," Yang noted.

"Penny sounds great!" Ruby agreed.

"Thanks, Ruby!" Penny smiled at her.

She leaned on her bike and looked right at Weiss and Neptune. Jaune looked on from behind with an annoyed look.

P: When you dressed up sharp and you felt all right.

P: It don't seem the same since cosmic light.

She walked up to Cardin and examined him

P: Came into my life. I thought I was divine.

Jaune's look changed from annoyance to anger. He didn't notice that Penny didn't look impressed and walked away. She instead gestured to Ruby.

"Looks like Penny isn't interested in Cardin," Ren noted.

"But she is interested in someone else," Nora teased.

Penny looked at her in confusion.

P: I used to go for a ride with a chick who'd go. And listen to the music on the radio.

Ruby ran up and the two embraced in a hug. Penny lifted Ruby and placed her on the bike.

"Oh," Ruby gasped.

Penny smiled, "That may be the first time you haven't asked me for air during a hug."

P: A saxophone was blowin' on a rock-and-roll show

Penny turned around dramatically and looked at Neptune.

P: We climbed in the back seat. Really had a good time.

Ruby gushed so Penny turned back to her and offered her hand.

Ruby giggled at Penny's on-screen actions.

Weiss shrugged it off, sure she may have feelings for Ruby, but not that version of her.

P: Hot patootie, bless my soul

Ruby began kissing and licking Penny's hand.

P: I really love that rock and roll

Ruby jumped off the bike and the two began dancing together.

With the floor still being extended, Penny grabbed Ruby's hand, pulled her up and began dancing with her.

"Penny? What are you doing?" Ruby asked shocked at her friend's sudden action.

Penny giggled, "Just having some fun, Ruby!"

Nora did the same to Ren, who just sighed and went along with her.

Weiss went wide eyed before glaring at Penny. Here too?

Yang put a hand on her shoulder with a soft look, "I'm sorry, Weiss."

Weiss looked at Yang's compassionate look and sighed. She solemnly nodded.

P: Hot patootie, bless my soul

P: I really love that rock and roll

Everyone except Jaune, who was angry, and Weiss and Neptune, who had no idea what was happening, joined in.

A: Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock and roll. Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock and roll

Penny stopped dancing with Ruby and played a saxophone solo.

"Nice," Jaune stated, "I didn't know Penny could play!"

"Maybe she and Mister Cole should start a jazz band," Winter actually joked, but it went over almost everyone's heads.

Once it was done, she handed the saxophone to Neptune. Staring at Ruby the whole time.

P: My head it used to swim from the perfume I smelled.

She approached Ruby slowly.

Weiss closed her eyes. She'd be better off not seeing anything that was going on. If it was just on the screen, she could've handled it, but Penny being here and dancing with Ruby? It almost put her over the edge.

Ruby and Penny didn't see anything on the screen, as they were laughing happily on the dance floor.

P: My hands kind of fumbled with her white plastic belt.

P: I'd taste her baby pink lipstick and that's when I'd melt.

She slowly draped her arms around Ruby, while Ruby looked at her longingly.

Tai growled at the screen. This was his little girl being ogled. He may need to have a word with this Penny.

P: She'd whisper in my ear that she really was mine.

Penny turned around a sang towards Weiss, teasing Ruby in the process

P: Get back in front and put some hair oil on

Ruby clung to Penny longingly as she walked slowly away towards the couple.

P: Buddy Holly was singin' his very last song

"Who?" Neo asked.

"A singer who died too soon," Gordeau sighed.

She checked out Weiss briefly before returning to Ruby.

P: With your arms around your girl you tried to sing along. It felt pretty good. Whoo! Really had a good time!

She picked up Ruby. Ruby wrapped her legs around Penny's stomach and Penny dipped her repeatedly. Ruby squealed with delight every time.

Weiss's eyes shot open at the sound. She immediately regretted the decision when she saw the screen.

Summer wondered if she needed to have a talk with Ruby about this later.

Qrow smirked at the other three members of his family being overconcerned with Ruby. After the fight with Cordovin, he knew she wasn't a little girl anymore.

P: Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock and roll

Penny set Ruby down on the floor then got on top of her and the two began to fondle each other.

Winter gasped at just how forward Penny was being. The girl was never this assertive.

A: Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock and roll.

Ren and Nora snuck into the freezer and began to dance inside.

A: Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock and roll.

Cardin began dancing himself, pushing Jaune over the edge.

"Oh no!" Pyrrha gasped.

"What am I about to do?" Jaune worried.

A: Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock and roll.

Ruby and Penny were rolling around on the floor. The crowd started doing a line dance that ended quickly.

Jaune locked Cardin in the elevator. Penny sat Ruby up, blew her a kiss, and stood up. Ruby was confused, "Huh? Where are you going?"

Penny started her bike back up. The crowd kept singing the Hot Patootie line while Penny sang slightly different.

"Well that's dangerous," Summer noted, "Why would you ride that indoors?"

P: Hot Patootie, I love rock and roll.

The bike started up. Ruby looked on with concern. Penny's knuckles were revealed. They had tattoos on them that said 'Love' on one hand and 'Hate' on the other.

"Hm," Mercury said impressed, "The robot has a bad streak in this universe."

Emerald was trying to wrap her head around what was happening. First, the blonde dressed in women's clothes, then he built a man, and now the robot girl she helped kill was a biker chick. She couldn't have come up with this if she tried.

P: Hot Patootie. I really love that rock and roll.

Penny rode her bike up the ramp forcing the crowd to run out of her way.

P: Hot Patootie. I really love rock and roll.

P: Hot Patootie. I love rock and roll.

Jaune walked into the freezer. He angrily threw Ren and Nora out and grabbed a pick-ax.

"I like the idea," Cinder smirked, "Get her out of the way know."

"Of course you do," Neo rolled her eyes.

P: Hot Patootie. I really love rock and roll.

P: Hot Patootie. I love rock and roll.

Jaune walked out of the freezer with the pick ax hidden behind his back. Cardin tried to bang out a warning on the elevator, but not being able to talk made that difficult.

"Wait," Neo sat up, "The Meat-Head is a mute?"

"Yes but not in the same way you were," Gordeau explained, "Cardin is such a meat-head in this universe he doesn't know how to talk, just sing a few times."

P: Hot Patootie. I really love rock and roll.

Penny stopped her bike right in front of Ruby, who clapped like an excited school girl. Ruby jumped into Penny's arms and was placed on the bike again.

P: Hot Patootie. I really love rock and roll.

Jaune approached and smiled sinisterly. The last roll turned into a scream as both Penny and Ruby stared at Jaune in horror. The music petered out as Penny tried to get away.

The scream shocked both pairs out of the dance. They looked at the screen in horror.

Jaune wield the pick ax in full view now swinging a few times trying to hit Penny. Both Penny and Ruby were screaming their heads off. She fell down and crawled her way into the freezer.

"Jaune! What are you doing to Penny?" Ruby cried out.

"It's not me!" Jaune defended himself, horrified at the actions his other self was committing.

Penny was backed into the wall of the freezer with nowhere to go. With that sinister smirk on his face, Jaune brought the pick ax down and a disturbing thump was heard.

"NO!" Ruby (both of them) screamed, tears coming to her eyes. Jaune swung a few more times and Ruby continued screaming as it turned into sobs.

"Why, Jaune?" Ruby asked in tears.

Pyrrha had had enough. Everyone was yelling or blaming Jaune for this version's actions. She stood up, "He doesn't know. This is just like that first universe with Roman, It. Is. Not. Him."

Ruby went wide-eyed before sitting down silently. Penny stared at the sight on screen, "That was unnecessarily violent."

"I liked it," Cinder noted, "It was most impressive."

Jaune stumbled out of the freezer with blood stains all over his outfit. He dropped the pick ax and smiled sweetly, "One from the vaults."

"Boo!" Yang called out and threw her drink at the screen, "Don't joke about that!"

The crowd lightly chuckled. Jaune looked at his bloody gloves with disgust. He held out his hands to Nora who, begrudgingly, took them off. Cardin banged on the gate again.

"Never," Nora declared, "Do your own dirty work."

Jaune's look changed to concerned, "Oh, baby!" He ran off to let Cardin out. As he did, Penny's corpse became visible in the freezer.

Jaune let Cardin out and the two glared at each other. Jaune scoffed, "Don't be upset. It was a mercy killing."

"Mercy? You call that mercy?" Blake asked, "That was horrifically brutal."

"Nothing merciful about it," Ilia agreed.

Jaune tried to explain himself to the naïve Cardin, "She had a certain naïve charm, but no muscles."

"Really?" Roman raised an eyebrow, "He thinks the Meat-Head was jealous?"

"He was the one who was clearly jealous," Raven agreed.

Cardin flexed and Jaune gushed as the music from before Penny's escape started up again.

J: But a deltoid and a bicep

He walked down the now assembled guests as he sung. Cardin continued flexing in the background.

J: A hot groin and a tricep makes me.

J: Oooooh, shake!

J: Makes me wanna take Tai Long by the hand.

"No thanks," Tai noted, "Not interested."

He turned around to look at Cardin.

J: In just seven days, oh baby, I can make you a man.

Ren and Nora removed his smock. Neptune and Weiss were standing in the background trying to piece together what was happening. Neptune was still holding Penny's saxophone.

"What are you going to do with that thing?" Sun asked.

Neptune shrugged, "It's a cool instrument. I may try and learn how to play."

Jaune made his way to Cardin seductively.

Everyone watched in silence as they wondered how a man could go from murder to lust in a matter of seconds.

J: I don't want no dissension

J: Just dynamic tension

Jaune reached Cardin and something came over Weiss.

W: I'm a muscle fan.

Neptune looked at her hurt. She saw this and looked at the ground in shame.

J: In just seven days, I can make you a man.

Jaune swung Cardin around a few times.

J: Dig it, if you can.

J: In just seven days

Jaune put Cardin's arm in his own.

J: I can make you a man.

The music changed to the wedding march. Ren pulled a rope and the curtain on stage pulled back to reveal a bridal suite. The pair walking arm in arm toward it while the crowd, except Ruby, who was sulking and still sitting on Penny's motorcycle, Weiss, and Neptune started shouting, "Cardin, Cardin, Rah, Rah, Rah." Jaune jumped into Cardin's arms and the curtain closed behind them.


AN: Casting

Rocky Horror- Cardin Winchester: Both are attention hogging meat-heads. I could see Cardin being this dumb and arrogant.

Eddie – Penny Polendina: This may be the loosest casting of all. It really boils down to the fact that Penny and Eddie are interchangeable both syllable and sound wise so I didn't have to change a song later.

I don't really have much else to say except I'm sorry if things seem lackluster. I'm not ahead of the game like I was with Uncharted, so things seem worse to me. I'll see you Tuesday for part four.