Miss Montgomery,
We are sorry to inform you that you had not been accepted in King's College London.
University Administration
Her eyes kept flickering on the screen, did that just happen? She felt all her dreams crushing, suffocation conquered her. She closed her laptop while salty tears falling from her eyes whom she closed very tight trying to escape the reality, her breath became faster almost her heart leaping out of her chest.
"Aria!" She heard her mum calling her.
"Coming!" She sat on the bed wiping her tears and doing her best to steady her cracking voice.
"Mum?" She found her mum sitting on the couch and the phone in her hand.
"Sweety, please come here" Her mother patted her hand beside her for Aria to sit.
She swallowed hard "You alright?" It was a stupid question to ask as she herself wasn't convinced of being alright.
Her mother shook her head "My aunt died" there was a short pause "The funeral is tomorrow morning and I'll be leaving today"
"Mom, I'm very sorry" She hugged her.
She didn't understand why people say sorry at this situation, it's not their fault and the truth that the people who hear this word know that it's a useless words, others trying to show their fake pity.
She thinks at this situations the best is showing you truly care not words.
But it seems that 'I'm sorry' became a tradition, everyone says it as something they retained.
:
"Take care of each other. Okay?" Aria and Mike nodded as their mother got in the cab and it drove slowly away.
"I'm heading to practice" In a few minutes Mike escaped, leaving Aria with no one to share her distress with.
She put her jacket on knowing it would rain, but at this point she didn't care, she was holding tears for so long, keeping all inside her, her failure, her break up with Ezra, the stress A makes. All to herself. Everyone thinks that just few days and everything will be fine, completely opposite.
She couldn't blame her mom for leaving today, she blamed her dead aunt for dying today. She needed her mother.
Selfish Ungrateful
That neatly described her.
Her cheeks were wet from tears and her heart was as her shoes covered with mud. She continued walking until she reached the orchard behind the woods.
She breathed a sigh of relief when she found it empty, the minute she felt relief she stumbled in a bottle that made her loose her balance.
"Ouch" She whined in pain, her knee was scratched by the small pieces of wood on the ground.
She felt something blocking the light "What the-"
"What are you doing here?" Jason was on his knees infront of her.
"I-I umm" She stared at him not knowing what to say "What You doing here?"
He chuckled examining her knee "I think I asked first"
"I go to this place sometimes. I found about it at Ian's funeral"
That was a long time ago…She looked at his face for anything…Nothing.
"You?" God it's very hard to get two words out of his mouth!
He helped her up "Same"
"Really?!" He received a glare and a raising eyebrow.
He smirked wrapping his arm around her waist and she leaned on him "Something like that"
"Maybe your friends who found out about it!" She teased clearly putting the blame of the new-old Jason on them.
"What do you have against them!" He laughed "Let me" He helped her sit on the bench.
She felt his warmth after sitting close to her "Have you been drinking?"
His peeks went towards the bushes "I use to go here whenever I want to clear my mind"
"And drink?"
He looked at her and laughed turning his head back to the view infront of them.
"You're fine?" His gaze was fixed on her.
She looked at her knee and beamed "Yeah. Perfectly fine"
"I don't mean this" He quietly said.
She felt his looks go through her. She shivered feeling her eyes water "H-How can you notice when something wrong" A sarcastic smile was drawn on her face.
He-like always- didn't answer her "Did you have a fight?"
"With who?" She laughed, honestly didn't expect an answer thinking that he will understand her mocks.
"With him" He tensed beside her.
Her heart skipped a beat "You mean Ezra?"
He faced her again waiting for an answer, feeling stupid interrogating her life when he clearly remember that she gave a message that she doesn't want anything to do with him.
You'll always be Alison's weird brother.
"It…" She took a deep breath "it has nothing to do with him"
"Sorry" He bent to take a neat look at her face "I didn't mean to-"
"I just wasn't accepted in the college I applied for" She cut him off quickly not wanting to hear any apologizes from him anymore.
His gaze soften "I…I don't-"
"Yeah you don't know what to say" She wiped her tears "That's is better in these situations"
He hesitated at first, then his hands moved slowly around her, her response terrified him but smiled when she rested her head on his shoulder and moved closer to him.
"How do you know what you want in life?" She asked not moving from her place.
He was quiet for some time then said "Everyone wants only one thing in life…to be happy, so for that purpose it differs from one to another in what they do to reach the goal."
"Deep ha?" She giggled feeling his chest move up and down with her.
"That's what you get when you're Jason Dilurantis"
"Very arrogant" She huffed
He started rubbing her shoulder after feeling her shivers beside him "You still didn't answer my question"
She raised her head a little "What question?"
"You said I've changed." He stopped and his eyes met hers "And I asked you whether it's a bad thing or a good thing. You didn't answer."
A seconds she were lost in his eyes, cold but held every meaning, every words he didn't say out loud, is kept in his eyes.
A seconds for her seemed like a reign.
For a second he wanted to speak out, to tell her what has been eating him alive, he did something to her he's ashamed of, he wished he wasn't there that day, could she forgive him? If he told her how much she means to him and then she knew what he had done, she would hate him forever.
He decided to stay quiet as always…
She swallowed hard "Matt and the other guys, they brought you back to drinking and let you deal with drugs. Jason…I noticed that Andrew guy you 'Talked To'. They bringing the bad sides in you"
Her face was so close he could smell her odor, the one she always put from, since she used to spend time with Ali, he was able to see her delicate features that he failed to cherish any but hers.
"You noticed that Erica likes you very much, she made up a lot of things infront of me just to grab your attention" She insisted on bringing up that subject as she was dying to know if Erica was telling the truth about what Jason's has been telling them.
Her heart beats fast wanting to memorize every word he will say now.
He shifted from his place "What exactly did she tell you?"
"Things like 'you remember the first time I ever spoken to you' and 'you think it's weird that you love my hair'" She smiled at how silly the words are coming from her mouth.
He gained his balance back and left out an awkward laugh, under his will "Probably when I'm drunk I don't remember what I said"
A little disappointed she rested her back on the back of the bench and his hands found its way back on his legs.
Just to know Aria my affection towards you never lessen even when you try to push me away.
"Anyway they were probably reserved because they don't know you well"
"But not Erica" She snapped keeping her gaze on the woods infront of them.
Annoyed whiff came out of his mouth "And I don't like her that way"
She smiled inside herself but her gaze was fixed anywhere except on him.
"You were hallucinating about me" She teased and joy filled her hearing his laughers.
:
It was nearly sunset and the weather was getting colder.
"So what's your backup plan?" He asked taking a full look at her now not very pale face.
"That's the problem, I don't have a backup plan"
"What about writing a book, working in a publisher office, getting married, doing a MA in literature, having kids-"
"Slow down!" She giggled "I think you have many backup plans for me"
"Well what can I do! I'm good at that" He respond.
"I need a backup plan in many things in my life"
"I know that you're not fine, even you're trying to convince everybody otherwise" He continued genuinely "I know I'm the last one to judge, we weren't close at any time. Mike and Alison were the only common people between us, you realize that this is the first time we talk about ourselves? Not about other people and their problems, we're talking about our lives"
And it's a very big deal to me. He decided to keep that to himself or he will ruin the moment.
She felt blood rush and heat even though it's freezing outside. She started to think the man beside her was the one who she would be afraid of him, the senior mysterious guy, the best friend big brother she almost passes out whenever he just randomly talks to her.
Yes. Time changed and they're here together, not randomly talking, no fear that he's sitting beside her, no general conversation. But personal conversation without people eyeing them.
"He broke up with me"
He listened carefully…First Ezra breaking up with her….Second A theories but she avoided mentioning Spencer's theory….Third Distance that is growing between her and her mother….Fourth Her Future.
He didn't answer but he memorize everything she said.
"You're probably bored by now" She blushed letting an awkward laugh "By the- Oh my god! It's raining" She raised her jacket to cover her head.
It started by just raining and then quickly converted into a rainstorm, he kept quiet the whole timing, walking behind her while she's jogging soaking wet towards her home.
"Well thank you…" She was breathing heavily
They were standing under the roof of her house, drops of water were falling down from his messy hair, the tiny drops of water on her face made it shine.
"It was actually the best time I had since I got back"
Her index finger automatically found its way to her right eyebrow combing it, looking clumsy.
"We should hang out more" She tried to seem casual.
"I love to" He then took a step forward and closed his eyes, reaching her forehead, planting a kiss that lasted a proper time.
She felt him leave but she was still closing her eyes Please let me stray in this moment sometime.
