seethestardust on Tumblr said:
"your recent reader x skulduggery fanfic had a great twist, but I think an even better twist would've been continuing to grow my suspicion this was a reader x skulduggery's suit fic, instead"
Continuation from chapter thirty-five. Obviously.
Skulduggery stiffened, and Valkyrie whipped her head around, ready to punch someone in the face. However, the street seemed filled with normal people. In fact, everyone was acting normal, enjoying the nice weather. No danger.
She looked back at him. "Are you okay?"
He was still tense, shoulders raised, fists clenched. "Turn around and walk away casually."
Valkyrie's heart thudded against her chest as she did as instructed. They walked through the crowds of people, slowly, chatting about the recent football game coming up. She wished he would slip in some code, let her know what was going on.
"Skulduggery?"
Valkyrie frowned and turned around. An older gentleman stood there, head ducked, shy. Thinning hair, long face, sweater vest. He was a little creepy, but that didn't explain Skulduggery's quick, frustrated movements.
"I thought I gave you a restraining order," Skulduggery said, voice low and slow.
The man nodded. "You… You did but…" He looked between her and Skulduggery. "Who's this?" he asked, voice bordering on hurt and jealousy.
"My partner."
The man reached up to nibble on his thumb. "I see."
Valkyrie glanced at Skulduggery, then back at the man. "I'm sorry, who're you?"
"I'm You."
She blinked. "Sorry?"
"I'm You." He looked back at Skulduggery. "You look very nice. What's the fiber count of that one?"
Valkyrie squinted at him. "Are you asking about his suit?"
You swallowed and took a step forward. Valkyrie didn't move, but Skulduggery took a wary step back. Valkyrie shot the skeleton a look, face torn between a smile and a sneer.
"Please, just let me touch it."
Skulduggery shook his head. "No."
"Please," You begged, falling to his knees.
They were drawing a slightly crowd now. A few people stopped, watching the man on his knees, wringing his hands and looking close to tears. Skulduggery, for his part, was looking mildly disgusted; head tilted up, looking down the façade's nose at You. Valkyrie was still trying to decide if she should laugh.
"No, thank you," Skulduggery muttered. "Look, I've told you before, I'm not interested in… your admiration of my suits. I'm flattered, believe me. Well, I was flattered the first time. Now? Now, it's just…"
"Sad," Valkyrie suggested.
"Just a tad."
Tears were openly dripping down You's face. "But you're the best dressed man I've ever seen! I can't just—I can't just pretend not to see you! Your outfit! At least let me take a picture, so I can look at this suit again, please. God, that navy."
Valkyrie laughed.
You's eyes snapped to her. "It's not funny! You don't understand! Look at you, those shorts, that tank top." He shook his head. "Sunglasses, of all things!"
Valkyrie frowned. "I look hot."
"You're a heathen."
Skulduggery clapped his hands together. "Well, You, this has been as entertaining as it normally is, but you've made a scene. My partner and I need to be on our way, and while I, again, am flattered—"
You wept.
"—we have appointments to keep. Find a suit store, You. They're not that rare."
Valkyrie grinned the entire way back to the Bentley. Skulduggery's shoulders started to hunch.
"Don't—"
"He has a crush on your outfit." She laughed again.
Skulduggery slumped. "He does."
"Hey," she managed between giggles, "at least he knows you're handsome."
Skulduggery looked at her. "I am handsome, aren't I?"
