All oneshots hereafter take place after SpX unless otherwise stated.

ALSO THE NEW BOOK IS SO GOOD


Omen fell back on his back. He was used to this, by now. Omen usually fell down—well, was punched down—to the ground. This time, Valkyrie had managed to get him with a feign to… Well, he wasn't really sure. She was doing something with her leg, but then he gave him a nasty push backwards, and here he was.

Looking at the ceiling.

Valkyrie popped into his field of vision. "How you doing, Sport?"

"Don't let it get you down, Tiger," Skulduggery called from the other side of the room.

"Don't worry," Omen said, hopping up. "Wasn't bad."

"Yeah," Valkyrie said, stretching her arms over her head. "I don't give you black eyes like some really rude person."

Omen couldn't tell if Skulduggery was still looking at his book or not, but Valkyrie's smile only grew bigger, so he was probably glaring at her.

"I didn't give him a black eye," Skulduggery said, turning a page in his book. "He ran into my elbow."

Omen raised a hand, a habit he found himself doing whenever the two of them started on like this. "With my eye."

Skulduggery gestured to Omen with his book. "See, Omen knows. He ran into my elbow with his eye."

Valkyrie waved a hand. "You saw it coming."

"Yes, but Omen, have you gotten a black eye since then?"

Valkyrie turned her dark eyes to Omen. Omen, meanwhile, adjusting the string of his pants; he had lost a lot of weight since Valkyrie and Skulduggery had started giving him lessons. He could feel himself start to flush the longer the silence went on.

"I mean…" Omen cleared his throat. "I, uh, haven't had a black eye since Skulduggery gave me one."

"Point proven," Skulduggery said, saying each word with relish.

"Coincidence!" Valkyrie threw her hands in the air. "You know as well as I that that's because you haven't been giving him lessons since you, you know, gave him a black eye."

"I have imparted a valuable lesson."

"Are you going to break something of mine to teach me a lesson?"

"No, but I might put a muzzle on you."

Omen cleared his throat again, louder. Valkyrie turned back towards him, rolling her head and shoulders, literally a tank or something. Omen was still a little winded from the whole "pushed to the floor" thing, but he got into the stance the two of them had drilled into him.

"Alright, Champ," Valkyrie said, "why don't you look at your stance and tell me what's wrong with it."

Omen stared at his feet for a good few minutes. Valkyrie let him think, though. She was always good at that, letting him work through things.

He slid one foot a little farther back and bent his knees.

Valkyrie beamed. "Good. I know you're probably a little sore from today, but that posture has to become second nature to you. Good for conducting magic and for balance. So, say, I did this—"

She whipped her leg out, hitting him in the calf. Tears sprung to Omen's eyes, and he nearly toppled back over to the floor, but he managed to steady himself.

Valkyrie smiled. "You won't topple to the floor."

Omen smiled back.

Valkyrie threw a lazy punch, which Omen managed to duck out of the way from. Valkyrie nodded, throwing a faster one, which Omen blocked—he had seen that one coming, he grinned, more than proud of himself.

Valkyrie once again kicked out at him, and his thigh twinged. He hopped out of the way, desperate to give himself room.

"Attack," Skulduggery said sharply. "You're fighting, not defending."

Omen blew air through his lips. He pushed at the air—he knew he was going to miss as soon as he released the energy. Valkyrie didn't even flinch, hadn't even considered the possibility of Omen's attack hitting her, and slammed her elbow into shoulder.

That was her same trick as last time, and he was already adjusting his weight. Her elbow smacked into him, but he hardly felt it. Now, he lashed forward, fist heading towards her throat. She caught his hand, twisting, and then that thing with her leg again

Back on his back.

"Good, Sport." Valkyrie stood over him.

"What are you doing with your leg?"

"Feigning," she said, watching him scrape himself off the floor.

"Yeah, but, how?" Omen rubbed his thigh.

Skulduggery snapped his book shut and stood. "Shall we demonstrate?"

"That depends." Valkyrie swiveled to face the skeleton. "Am I going to run into your elbow?"

Omen excused himself to Skulduggery's chair, grateful to rest. He was tempted to pull out his phone and check Never's messages, but kept his eyes on the pair.

Skulduggery faced Valkyrie, but talked loud enough for Omen to hear. "I'm pretty sure we've went over this, but when someone attempts to kick you…"

Valkyrie swung her right leg in an arc. Skulduggery caught her foot and gestured to Valkyrie's other leg.

"Her weight is planted all on her other foot. So what you're picking up on is that shifting of weight, and you're subconsciously expecting a kick. Which is pretty impressive for someone who doesn't do well in his self-defense class."

"Yeah." Omen shrugged. "I got kicked a lot."

Skulduggery released Valkyrie's leg, but she suddenly swung at him with her elbow. He jerked back, hands immediately coming up to his sides. She kept coming, trying to get under his guard, sending out quick jabs.

"Now see, Omen," Skulduggery called, ducking and weaving. "This is what we call a sloppy attempt at an attack."

Valkyrie let out a vicious little laugh, snapping her palm forward and managing to hit his chest. Skulduggery skipped back.

"Now, I can see what you're thinking, Omen," Skulduggery continued to talk. "But that was a ruse, you see, to get her confidence up, because she happens to know my weak spots. However, I also happen to know—"

His knee came up into her thigh.

Omen subtly took his phone out of his pocket.

"Are we boring you?"

Valkyrie was suddenly right over him. Omen's palms instantly grew sweaty, and he shoved his phone back in his pocket.

"No!" Omen felt his face getting hot. "No, I just, I didn't think you would…"

"Notice?" Skulduggery loomed behind her like a shadow.

"Well, no. You were… sort of doing your own thing." Omen pointed weakly to the training mat. "You know."

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. "We were demonstrating fighting styles. Skulduggery blocks less, because he has less mass to defend, and is lighter, so he prefers to dodge attacks. I tend to attack first, before they can hit me, or take the punishment until I can hit back."

Omen felt very silly for checking his phone. "Well, I just thought you guys were…"

"Were?" Skulduggery was absolutely still.

"You know. Doing your…" Omen wondered how the situation had spiraled so far out of control. "Your talking thing."

Valkyrie blinked at him. "I'm not going to pretend to know what that's referring to."

Omen closed his eyes. Try not to get punched. "Well, sometimes you guys sort of, like, talk to each other and, you know, argue or whatever back and forth, and touch each other, and sometimes the—the lessons sort of de… devolves from the point?"

He opened his eyes to them both staring at him.

"Not often," he offered.

"We don't flirt," Valkyrie said hotly.

Omen raised his hands. "I didn't say that."

"He didn't say that," Skulduggery agreed.

Valkyrie looked at Skulduggery, and then back to Omen. "Well, no, but that's what he was sort of implying, wasn't it? That we argue and…" Valkyrie looked like how Omen probably had just a minute ago.

Skulduggery nodded. "Omen, just for the record's sake, who touches who more? I only ask because it should be clear for further instructing purposes, so that we can punish those responsible, and not distract you from your lessons in the future."

Valkyrie whirled to Skulduggery. "This isn't a hearing!"

Skulduggery shook his head. "You're distracting Sport with your flirting, Valkyrie."

Omen raised a hand. "I mean, technically, you do, Skulduggery."

"Excuse me?"

"You flirt more?"

Skulduggery didn't have a face, but Omen knew the expression well.