Chapter 18 - A Mother and her Child

Sakura was gone.

Kakashi felt the sad emptiness of his room even before he was fully awake. He knew instinctively he should remember something about the dream he was surfacing from… but he could not hold onto it, however important it seemed. The images burst one after the other like soap bubbles, leaving him with a discomforting feeling of deja-vu but nothing else.

Everything smelled of Sakura.

He wanted this scent to never fade and at the same time wished it gone already. There was an ache inside of him that he had no experience with, but ironically, thanks to reading Icha Icha, he was well-equipped with the vocabulary to call it by its proper name.

Yearning.

How stupid of him to fall into such a trap. Had he not sworn himself never to end up like the sad characters in Master Jiraiya's books? Lying around in the semi-darkness, miserable and alone with a growing lump in their throats, yearning endlessly for a woman they could never have?

"Sensei?"

The familiar voice at the door was welcome because it promised to shake him out of his self-pity.

"Kaeru?" Kakashi said and sat up. "What is it?"

"Oh, good, you're awake," the young Anbu said and cautiously opened the door. It had to be late at night, the lights in the corridor were at their lowest. They were never fully switched off since nobody wanted elite troops to fall over each other in the dark when they had to leave at very short notice, always bathing the Anbu headquarters in a strange semi-light. It was befitting for elite assassins who got a lot of their fame from their secrecy.

"How are you feeling, Sensei?" Kaeru asked.

"I'm okay," Kakashi replied and it wasn't even a lie. Though his chakra was still very low, his reserves were replenished enough to allow him to move without toppling over. A parting gift from Sakura? He usually did not get back to his feet that fast.

"So…," Kaeru had something to say it seemed, but was not quite sure how to breach the subject.

"I need to take a shower," Kakashi murmured. He had to wash the scent off or he would not be able to function normally, that's how bad it was. But just when he wanted to swing his legs out of bed he realized he wasn't wearing any trousers and stopped himself. He fished for the bottle of water that he always kept between the wall and the bedframe instead and drank deeply. That always happened after chakra depletion: he got awfully dehydrated and was soon going to be thoroughly famished. There was never any food at the Anbu headquarters so he better got moving.

"I think you should go to see the Hokage," Kaeru said, though sounding doubtful.

"Did something happen?" Kakashi perked up.

He would rather not see the Hokage for a while if there was a choice. Yes, he was angry. And hurt. He had put his life on the line for the village so many times and she still did not trust him? It would take an apology to forgive her.

"Not... directly," Kaeru evaded his question.

"Out with it," Kakashi sighed.

"I spoke to the new Anbu recruit just now," Kaeru said.

"New Anbu recruit? I don't think we have…," oh. Of course. "Ah. Bird mask?"

"Yes! Her!" Kaeru confirmed eagerly, "She is great at Genjutsu. Have you tested her, Sensei? I wouldn't mind going on missions together."

Kakashi snorted. Marvelous.

"Sorry," Kaeru smiled shyly, "I guess I got carried away a little. But that's not the point. I… I so there is a visitor at the Gate who said she wanted to see you. She's still waiting."

"What?" Distracted, Kakashi was trying to remember whether he had put a wrist watch somewhere near, but it seemed he hadn't. "What's the time?" he asked the young Anbu.

"Almost midnight. So I was telling the new Anbu recruit about that woman and what she looked like and then the new recruit suddenly got very excited, but not in a good way, and said she was going to see the Hokage and now I'm thinking…"

"Nobody goes to see the Hokage at almost midnight," Kakashi said resolutely, "unless it's a life and death situation."

Tsunade would be sleeping. Waking a sleeping Tsunade was very unwise. Sakura knew that too, she was her pupil.

"I know!" Kaeru continued exasperated. "That's what I mean! If this woman from Kusagakure who wants to see you is a life and death situation, you should definitely go to see the Hokage too! I don't want you to get into even more trouble."

Kakashi rubbed his forehead in confusion. What woman from Kusagakure? He didn't know anybody from there.

Time to rummage for his underpants. "I'll go to the Gate directly," Kakashi said. "It's very late for a woman to stand out there waiting."

Why had they not let her in? Well, that he knew, actually. With the recent attack they were on high alert. No strangers were let in and only specially authorized personnel was let out on missions.

"I am sorry for causing you trouble," Kaeru said remorsefully. "With all the strange things going on recently…"

"Don't worry," Kakashi told him, "the only one responsible for my troubles is me."

Should he dress properly or go out in his trainers? Maybe dress properly. Anbu flak jacket? Yup, he did not have a jonin outfit handy. Stepping up to the washbasin, he tried to comb his hair into some kind of acceptable form, but as usual, it did not comply.

"It's raining," Kaeru mentioned, observing his struggles with interest. "Sensei, should I accompany you?"

"Not necessary," Kakashi replied, frowning at himself in the mirror. He looked like a hurricane had swept him up and spewed him out again ten miles further down.

Boots? Over there. No weapons necessary, but it never hurt to have kunai and shuriken with you anyway, so he grabbed the two pouches to put around his middle and his leg.

"I'll get an umbrella," Kaeru said and disappeared quickly.

Kakashi grabbed his rain cloak from the hook. A woman from Kusagakure wanted to see him? He felt a strange sense of foreboding in his gut. Not remembering things was not getting any easier with time. In fact, he was beginning to think his troubles were only beginning.

###

Konoha was asleep, as it should be at this time of the night, with no lights on in the houses and only a few lanterns shining down on the main road leading to the Gate. A typical early summer rain was pelting down. Kakashi had always found the sound of water hitting the tin rooftops soothing, but he walked much faster than he normally would. This was no weather to be standing outside their Gate.

"Kakashi!" the Gate guards called out from their wooden shelter when they recognized him. "What are you doing here this late?"

"I was told someone is here to see me?" he said.

"Oh. Yes!" Izumo remembered, springing to his feet. "I almost forgot."

"She's been very quiet recently," Kotetsu mused. "Maybe she has left."

"Let me out to see," Kakashi asked of them with a sigh.

There was a small door to the side for cases such as these, so seldomly used that it took the guards a while to find the key and then another while to get the key to move in the lock.

Kakashi stepped outside into the dark - no lights out here and no moonlight. His eyes adjusted enough to see two figures huddled up in raincoats against the wall. Quickly, Kakashi opened the umbrella Kaeru had given him and held it above them. Were they sleeping?

The larger of the two lifted her head. It was too dark for him to see her features clearly, but he thought she was wearing glasses.

"Kakashi?" she exclaimed and sprang to her feet, her boots making a miserable, wet sound, "Oh thank god, it's you!"

While he was still mulling over where he knew this voice from, she had already jumped into his arms, sobbing pitifully against his shoulder.

"I didn't know where else to go," the woman sobbed, "I was so afraid. I'd prefer a Konoha prison cell to anything else right now! Please take us in."

"Mama?" the smaller figure lifted her head too. "Mama, are you crying?"

The woman let go of him and bent over her child. "Don't worry, Sweetie," she sniffled, "I was just very relieved to see this man. He will help us. He promised your mommy."

Kakashi lifted the umbrella again to shield both of them from the rain. Why did everything feel like a strange dream or an evil prank lately? Should he not at least remember a promise made to a mother?

"Please come in," he said because whoever they were, he could not let a woman and her small child wait out her in the rain.

"Thank you," the woman said and took a shaking breath, "thank you, I knew you would be true to your word."

He recognized her only once she glared at the Gate guards as if she wanted to rip their heads off and eat them for dinner and because they shone a torch at her.

Karin.

Kakashi closed his mouth before anyone could see him stare with it open. Karin with a small child, its face hidden by a huge hood. All he could do was lift his umbrella again to shield them from the rain, his brain going into overdrive in an attempt to remember. Anything. Anything beyond bringing her to Konoha and her being thrown in prison.

Hasty footsteps made him turn towards the village. Pink hair told him right away who it was and his stomach did a flip and then another. Sakura slowed down when she saw him, her face showing puzzlement, then something that could be concern.

"Kakashi?" she asked, her eyes staying on his face as if it was able to give her answers.

"Sakura!" Karin sobbed. "Oh, Sakura, I am so happy to see you!"

Sakura pulled her eyes from his and he was taken aback to see the fear in them. They flitted to Karin, then to the child and lingered. Kakashi turned his head too, but there was now way to tell how old the child was nor what its sex was.

"Karin," Sakura said with a voice that was very cool, "I am surprised to see you."

"Where is Sasuke," Karin said, "please, Sakura, they said he isn't well? Can I help?"

Sakura's eyes flitted to Kakashi's again, but he was just feeling like the biggest fool ever. Was she hoping he would be able to make a decision?

"If he's allowed visitor…," he cautiously began.

"He's in a coma," Sakura said with the same cold voice as before, "sure, I can take you there. But then, we need to find you a place to stay…"

Again, she looked at Kakashi.

A place to stay? His old apartment was empty, he thought. Should he offer it?

"My apartment is empty," he blurted out before he was able to consider whether that was a good idea. That's how stressed out he was by this whole thing.

The look that Sakura shot him was murderous. So not a good idea? But it stood empty all the time, why not have someone who needed it use it? He lifted his eyebrows in her direction, wanting to ask her what he had done wrong.

"Thank you," Karin said, her eyes filling with tears again, "thank you so much, it means a lot to me."

"We will put down your entry into our records," Izumo said. "What is your name?"

"Karin," the kunoichi said with a firm voice. "No clan affiliation known."

"And your child?" the guard asked, busily noting down her name in the book before him.

"This is Sarada," Karin said, her voice suddenly sounding very gentle and loving. "No clan affiliation either. Just… Sarada."