Chapter 19 - Team Minato

"Did you tell her Sasuke is in the hospital?" Kakashi chided the Gate guards in a low voice, at the same time watching from the corner of his eyes how a grim-faced Sakura was trying to force her own umbrella into Karin's hand.

"Of course not," Izumo bristled, "we just said he's unavailable."

Mulling over how Karin could have known about Sasuke, Kakashi remembered she was a skilled sensory-type kunoichi and an expert manipulator too. She read the chakras of people like books and had even managed to fool Ibiki and his people back then. They had to be extra careful around her. The timing of this visit… it alone was suspicious.

On the way to the hospital, Sarada walked with her hands slung tightly around her mother's arm and her face pressed against her hip. Whatever they had fled from, the girl was clearly traumatized. Since Karin had refused to take the umbrella, Sakura was now holding it over her head. Kakashi moved behind Sakura to hold his over hers. She didn't seem to notice until they were almost at the hospital entrance, but then she threw him a dark look.

"Shouldn't you be resting?" she said.

"I guess?" he answered with a half-smile, "but my subordinate Kaeru, whom you properly bewitched, was worried and came to wake me."

"Stupid frog," Sakura murmured. "He seemed more reasonable than that."

"You saying you would go to see Tsunade in the middle of the night alarmed him and rightfully so!"

"I didn't know what time it was," Sakura admitted, "I only realized when I was standing in front of Tsunade's apartment. I didn't disturb her of course but came straight to the gate!"

Kakashi felt like ruffling her hair in a rush of affection. "Thank you for coming. You always care so much about everyone, even if they are not your responsibility."

"Oh, and how is she yours?" her eyes were flashing angrily again.

Kakashi did not understand why she was angry at him particularly - but then again, he also did not understand why Karin had asked for him as if they shared an important secret. Was it possible she knew about his amnesia and was skillfully manipulating the situation? he mused.

Sakura led them straight to one of the intensive-care units and opened the security protected door. "Keep your voice down," she told Karin gloomily.

Sasuke was lying on a treatment couch in the middle of an activated seal, engulfed in pulsing green light. Tsunade and Sakura had developed new techniques for such healing domes together, making Konoha hospital the number one for severe injuries in the Shinobi lands. Sadly, they had to turn down many requests from other villages to treat allied Shinobis, simply because their facilities were too small.

While Sakura was checking on the seal, Karin moved back the hood of her raincoat, doing the same for the child, revealing black hair and a tired little face with determined black eyes behind glasses. The child refused to look at anyone though and kept very close to her mother, often hiding her face away in the folds of her coat.

"Oh no, Sasuke!" Karin sobbed and made several swaying steps towards his body as if she wanted to throw herself on top of him.

"Don't go any closer," Sakura warned her, holding up her hand in a gesture of authority.

Kakashi suddenly remembered overhearing a conversation once about how Sakura's biggest rival wasn't Ino, but one of Orochimaru's subordinates. He also remembered that Karin had been able to flee Konoha's high security prison by hiding tools in a picture of Sasuke. Considering how tense Sakura was at the moment, he concluded that she was this way because jealousy was very hard to control - and Karin's arrival had likely plunged her into an emotional crisis echoing her past uncertainties about her place at Sasuke's side.

It just made Sakura's presence here an even bigger gesture.

Selfless, self-sacrificing people like her needed somebody near them who made sure they were not taken advantage of, Kakashi thought, watching Sakura's determined face that only barely managed to hide her vulnerability. Somebody who made sure they didn't forget their own feelings and needs from time to time. Of someone like Sasuke, who was nurturing his own shattered soul, it was a lot to ask - too much, actually.

Maybe Kakashi could offer to be a friend who took that part? For both of them. If he had ever been serious about helping Sasuke… this was the moment he had to decide what that promise was worth.

Karin sank to her knees, crying quietly, hugging her daughter. Assured that the redhead would not disturb the seal, Sakura turned to Kakashi, a towel in her hand.

"Here," she said. "You're dripping."

Kakashi looked down and realized a sizeable puddle had been forming where he stood.

"Damn, I'm sorry," he apologized, he knew how annoying people were who interfered with one's professional duties, grabbed the towel and threw it on the floor, moving it around with his foot to soak up the water.

"Idiot!" Sakura chided him angrily.

What now? She had already turned around to grab another towel and was stomping in his direction with determination. Before he could understand what this was about, she had started to vigorously rub his body with it, eventually moving it up to his head to dry his dripping hair.

"My hood must have slipped," he murmured an excuse for the wet mess, finding the rough attention she gave his head pleasant and the sudden closeness to her distracting to the extreme. He breathed in deeply.

"Sakura, be careful," he whispered, keeping his hands firmly by his side, "she reads people like a book. Nobody told her Sasuke was in the hospital, she must have guessed it from the guards' reactions."

Sakura briefly stopped her toweling and nodded. "Gotcha", she breathed and leaned in a little as she continued to dry his hair more gently. He was tempted to touch his forehead to hers. Hmmm, he wanted her again. A lot.

Karin had stopped crying and was looking in their direction with round, questioning eyes.

"Are you and Kakashi…" she asked, her eyes flitting to the minimal space between them like that gave it all away. And maybe it did. He most certainly could not hide his feelings in front of a sensory-type kunoichi of her calibre, his hormones were going haywire.

"No!" Sakura bristled and stepped away hastily, wet towel in hand, "I'm married to Sasuke."

"Oh," Karin blipped, her eyes growing even rounder, "I didn't know that. He never told me."

For a moment, it looked like Sakura was going to explode. Kakashi watched in fascination how blood shot into her face and her eyes turned a vicious triangular shape. He almost expected steam to come out of her ears next.

"Has he not," Sakura ground out between her teeth, "maybe Mister conveniently forgot?"

"No," Karin said solemnly, "he would never."

Kakashi's eyes moved over to the child. Ah. Now he understood what was going on. Another situation right out of an Icha Icha novel. If he had to guess, he would say Sarada was about four or five years old, but then again, he was lousy at guessing that kind of thing. It sounded like Sasuke had seen Karin more or less regularly since her escape. It was not entirely unreasonable to think that before the marriage…

But no. Sasuke would indeed never. The Uchihas had great difficulties expressing emotions, but he knew them to be as obsessive in love as they were in hate. Once they formed attachments, they did not let go.

Did the girl even look anything like an Uchiha?

Kakashi studied the timid creature with new eyes. But he could not tell. Black hair alone was no clear indicator and even though the eyes were not entirely unfamiliar... it was no proof either.

It would explain things though, wouldn't it. Why Karin was in danger . Why she had come running here for protection. What if… Kakashi drew in a sharp breath. Sharingans awakened when a trauma was experienced.

"When will Sasuke wake up?" Karin asked Sakura. "I need to talk to him."

"When Lady Tsunade and I think he has sufficiently healed," Sakura replied in an aloof way.

If his hunch was correct, they had an extremely explosive situation at hand. A target of great value for whoever was out there wearing oni masks, making his life difficult. A small child with a Sharingan, in dire need of a teacher to make sure the effects did not get out of hand. An exhausted woman and a traumatized child in need of a warm bed and proper rest...

"He certainly won't wake up before tomorrow. Karin", he said more calmly than he felt, "Let's go. I will show you a place to stay."

"Thank you," she murmured after a brief pause during which she looked at Sakura.

"I'm coming too," Sakura said stubbornly.

"Okay," Kakashi said though he would have preferred Sakura to go home and rest.

Kakashi's old apartment was about twenty minutes away from the hospital. He hadn't been there in years and suddenly worried about the dust and the general state of it, but he got distracted from these thoughts when Sarada started crying because her feet hurt. Karin looked absolutely exhausted and ready to start crying herself, so he offered to carry the child. Karin was able to convince her daughter that riding piggyback on a shinobi's back was fun - her cheerful "he carried me too, it was great!" did the trick - and so he found himself with a tiny, warm bundle on his back whose arms went slack not five minutes later when she fell asleep.

The two women did not speak and he did not see a need for it either, stepping very carefully so that the little one would not be shaken too much. The rain was stopping - a small blessing, but one to be thankful for.

"Top floor," he said when they arrived in front of the building he used to live in. Funny how familiar the smell of the staircase still was, he thought as he walked up to be the first to press down the door handle. As expected, the door was unlocked as it had always been.

Instinctively, he hit the light switch with his elbow. Warm light illuminated a spotless and very tidy apartment. Kakashi blinked in surprise. It looked like somebody came here to clean regularly. In fact, now he seemed to recall he had been told about this when he had been transferred to the Anbu headquarters. There were certain benefits to being an active shinobi like never having to care about a bank balance. Or having people clean for you.

"Come on in," he said to the two women who came wheezing up the stairs. Karin reached the door first and took off her shoes and her raincoat, hanging it on an empty hook.

"Let me take her," Karin said and plucked the child off his back. She sat Sarada down in a chair and looked at him with with those strange red eyes. "Would you happen to have a shirt… something I could put her in for sleeping?"

Did he? Kakashi took off his boots and coat and then went over to his cupboard. To his surprise, there were clothes in there - smelling clean - and though every single shirt was much too big for a child of Sarada's size, he thought that one of the tighter turtlenecks might not fall off her. He also chose a shirt for Karin that she could wear like a nightgown.

"The bathroom is over there," he said when handing it all to her and pointed to the door in question. "I keep spare toothbrushes in the cabinet, just make yourself at home. There should be towels if you want to take a shower."

Karin nodded thankfully and disappeared with the sleeping child in her arms.

As soon as she had closed the door behind herself, Kakashi turned to Sakura who was still standing at the entrance like she was unsure what to do next.

"Don't you want to come in?"

"If I can?" she asked back. He had difficulties reading her expression, maybe because she was busy hiding what she was thinking, but her discomfort was palpable. Did she think she was intruding?

"Of course," he smiled, "it's small, but it was always sufficient. I don't recall whether you were ever..."

"No," she said resolutely. "I've never been to your apartment before."

She took off her boots and jacket and stepped in gingerly, turning her head shily in all directions, as if the act of entering his apartment was something special. Well, maybe it was. He had not had many visitors here. Some of the other jonins occasionally, but usually only when he had been bedridden. He had a memory of Naruto coming here, but he did not remember clearly.

"Can I…?" Sakura gestured towards the picture frames on the nightstand.

"Of course," he said again.

There were three pictures there. One of Team 7 in their early days. There were two version of it, the one he had put up was the one he preferred: him, smiling, with his hands on grumpy Sasuke's and blustering Naruto's heads with Sakura in the middle, looking like she was about to burst from happiness. The second was his own team photo from back in the day: Minato towering above Obito and him and a happy looking Rin in the middle. It had always struck him as interesting how similar the two pictures were and he had often thought that Minato would be amused that his most arrogant student had become his son's teacher. The third picture was a very old one of his mother and his father that he had found at their house shortly after his father's suicide.

"That's you, isn't it," Sakura said, pointing at his sullen self in the Team Minato picture.

"Yes," Kakashi chuckled, "what gave it away?" Mask, hair… all there already.

"I met this version of you in there, remember?" she said and pointed at his head.

Yes, she had told him that. Had she also said what impression she had gotten of him? Kakashi did not feel proud when he thought of his younger self.

"Man, you were cute," she said, "despite the massive attitude. If I had been your teammate back then..."

She blinked and turned red, leaving the sentence unfinished. Kakashi smiled, but actually, that unfinished part made him feel vexed. It was easy to say things like 'if I had met you then and then', but it meant nothing. Worse, it only highlighted what was wrong about their present situation. They had not met back then, not least because he was fourteen years older than her. She had not looked into his direction even once before their recent reencounter and thankfully so. The same went for him. Though able to impress him with her mental and physical growth back then, she had been a child. Their recent attraction came at the tail end of so much baggage, it simply could not go anywhere.

"Your Sensei was the Fourth Hokage, wasn't he," she continued.

"Yes," Kakashi nodded, "he was an amazing teacher and Shinobi. Did you know Jiraiya was his teacher? I only realized much later how much that shaped him and how fortunate we were that Jiraiya agreed to become Naruto's Sensei."

"What were the other two called again?" Sakura continued cautiously as if she feared to spook him with her questions. He shouldn't be surprised about that. He had always been extra secretive when it came to his past.

"Obito. You've met him, remember?" Kakashi laughed bitterly. Of course she remembered. She was just trying to see how far she would get with her questions.

Her face turned very serious. "Kakashi," she said, "is it true… is it true you've got the Mangekyo Sharingan back like people say? How?!"

It was a conversation that needed to be had, only that he did not feel like having it right now. If the answer to the question she had just posed could be easily given, wouldn't he have given it to everyone already?

"You don't need to answer," she said after a brief look at his face and turned away. "Who was the girl? She's pretty."

"Rin," Kakashi said. "Rin Nohara."

He saw in Sakura's face that she remembered hearing about Rin before.

"I killed her," he added.

Maybe he meant to shock her. Maybe he wanted her to stop asking questions that made him feel uncomfortable. Maybe it was because he hoped that saying it aloud would make it lose its impact. It didn't though. He would never be able to forget the feeling of piercing Rin's soft body with his hand, the absolute horror of coming to realize that a heart shattered by his Chidori was inevitably the end and that there was nothing, absolutely nothing he could do to save her.

"It's why they call my Friend-Killer Kakashi," he added, since it seemed the right time to tell Sakura this too.

"Did you have a choice?" Sakura asked quietly, her eyes firmly on the picture.

"I made a promise that I wasn't able to keep," Kakashi answered. "I made many, many wrong decisions before that. Are you asking whether her death my fault? Yes. It is. To 100%."

Sakura turned her green eyes in his direction then. There was compassion in them and a readiness to listen - it was like she offered a remedy he had always craved, someone who understood his guilt and did not try to talk it away, someone who would make the pain bearable because she made the future look like a brighter place. But before she could say anything else, before he could express to her what he felt, Karin came out of the bathroom, the sleeping child in her arms.

"I put the wet clothes in the sink," she said.

"Please, use the bed," Kakashi quickly said, hurrying over to remove the cover. Why did he feel relieved about the interruption? Well… he wasn't used to let people near him like this. It obviously took practice.

"But isn't this the only…"

"I don't live here anymore," Kakashi said. "You can stay here as long as you need."

"Thank you so much," Karin said and put her child on the bed, righting a pillow for her and covering her with the blanket. "Thank you," she repeated and reached out a hand to press his. "You were always so kind."

Kakashi expected Sakura to react with anger again, but she didn't. "I will prepare a hot sleeping potion for you," she said to Karin instead, "nothing strong, but to ensure you get a good rest. Is that okay?"

"Yes," Karin said without hesitation, letting go of his hand, "that sounds like what I need."

"The kitchen is that way," Kakashi said to Sakura.

"You have amnesia, don't you," Karin said as soon as Sakura had stepped out of the room, seating herself on the edge of the bed. "You have absolutely no clue what you promised me."

Should he deny it? But what was the point.

"Yes," he nodded. "I can't say I find it particularly trustworthy that you know that."

"I can see it in your chakra flow," Karin shrugged, "I see that parts of your memories are blocked. But I don't care whether you trust me or not right now. You're a kind person, you took us in anyway, it's all that matters. I want Sarada to be safe. Here, she is."

"Can we talk tomorrow?" Kakashi suggested.

"Yes," Karin agreed, "we need to talk."

But then, Karin's gaze shifted to the pictures on his nightstand and her whole body tensed.

"Who… who is this?" she whispered.

"Which one do you mean?" Kakashi asked, surprised.

She pointed a shaking finger at the Team Minato image.

"Me. With my Sensei and my two teammates. Rin and Obito."

"R... Rin?" Karin gulped.

"Yes, her name was Rin," Kakashi said. Sweet, innocent Rin. Not made for a world as tough as theirs, with a heart too kind and a fate too cruel.

"I've met her," Karin said. "She's the one leading that program."

"What?" Kakashi frowned. "No, you're mistaken. She's been dead many years."

Karin shook her head vehemently. "She looks exactly the same! So you know her? Tell me more about her, please."

Kakashi's frown deepened. Obviously, Karin was mistaken. But if there was someone out there looking like Rin, he needed to hear about it.

"Can you…," he began, but Sakura stepped out of the kitchen at that moment, a steaming cup in her hand.

"Ready," she smiled sourly, "you need to drink it quickly while it's hot."

"Tomorrow," Karin said, her eyes revealing nothing to him. She blew on the hot liquid a bit and then gulped down everything in one go as ordered by Sakura. With a nod in their direction, she put her head down on the pillow. Mere seconds later, she was asleep.

"That was… not a light dose," Kakashi observed.

Sakura shrugged. "I've prepared stronger ones before," she said, sounding a little smug, "and believe me, she needs to sleep and nothing else."

Kakashi looked at her, raising his eyebrows, half amused, half questioning. Sakura was making an innocent face back at him.

"Sakura," Kakashi said, "I don't remember a thing about what she claims I promised her. She's either a super-skilled liar or I'm in bigger trouble than I ever thought possible. Don't believe anything before we have no proof."

"Sure," Sakura said. "I did wonder for a bit whether the child could be yours, but that was before I saw her face. She looks exactly like Sasuke," she pressed out, her eyes flitting over to the sleeping child. "You do not need to lie to me, I value your blunt honesty. Sarada is Sasuke's child, I'm sure of it. I'm far less sure what it means though."

She looked at him as if she expected him to know.

"I think you should not jump to any conclusions," Kakashi said.

"Why are you always so keen to protect Sasuke? After all he has done?" Sakura said bitterly.

"Because…," Kakashi swallowed hard. "Because he deserves it. The Uchihas deserve it. Konoha has done them much wrong."

"And you are the one who has to set it right? You were not the one who made those decisions back then."

"No," Kakashi answered. "But the Uchihas… Obito, Itachi… I owe both of them so much. I need to… I need to pay back my debts to them."

Sakura snorted. "Debts? I doubt either of them would think you have any. Or would care for that matter."

"That doesn't matter to me," Kakashi answered. "I'm doing this for my own peace of mind."

Sakura studied him with her large green eyes for quite a while without saying anything.

"It's quite remarkable," she then observed. "I never saw it before. The similarities. You're just as obsessed with doing what you think is the right thing as Sasuke is. Just like him, you'd go to extreme ends to see it through. I guess that's why I…"

"No," Kakashi interrupted her. "No. Don't say it."

"But Kakashi…"

"You value my blunt honesty? Good. Then here is a piece of it: I cannot deal with you comparing me to Sasuke who is in a coma because of me. I do not want to hear 'if I had met you earlier' ever again. I honor your choices and you should know how much I admire your strength and determination. You're a remarkable woman, but that's how far this will ever go. I think we both know it."

"Is that what you…," she looked so taken aback he felt a need to hug and comfort her which… no.

"It is what I want," Kakashi said and realized at the same time it was the biggest lie he had ever spoken.

"O… okay," she said in a small voice.

"But I need you for what we talked about a few hours ago."

"Genjutsu?" she asked.

Kakashi nodded.

"Okay," she said. "Now? It's very late. You're still low on chakra."

"Now," Kakashi said resolutely. "I'm sick and tired of not remembering. It has to end."

"Okay," Sakura said, taking a deep breath. "Okay. Let's go back to the Hokage Tower? We should be undisturbed there."

Kakashi nodded. Undisturbed. And he would make sure he would not be distracted either. Remembering what he had forgotten was his only goal now. Depending on how this went, he would be able to decide whether to go through with the next part of his plan.