Ouch.
Sakura straightened her back and titled her neck from side to side until her vertebrae popped.
So tense.
After throwing a quick glance at Sarada in the corner to assure herself the child was well, Sakura pushed her chair back with a grunt and let her head fall backwards.
The concrete ceiling above her was grey and ugly. The bright artificial light with its slight flicker gave her a dull headache. The warm air that smelled of disinfectants made her eyes dry and itchy. Her tummy hurt. She hadn't eaten anything properly for hours, but she had no appetite… she was beginning to suspect that the water here didn't agree with her.
In short, she was miserable. So damn miserable.
Kakashi had been gone for four days.
Which meant four days in a foreign village with horrible, moist weather, four days of not getting even an inch closer to understanding the Uchiha sickness, and four days to identify every possible problem ahead multiple times over in ever darker shades of grey.
And worst, four days of missing a certain silver-haired Shinobi so much it physically hurt.
She needed to see him, she needed to know he was alright after getting back what she guessed were his nastiest, most haunting memories. Most importantly, she needed him to tell her that everything was going to be alright. That she had a place by his side, whatever happened. Even if he became Hokage. Even if she knew, she just knew…
Sakura heaved a shaking sigh. Dammit. She wanted to cry. Like a stupid ninny.
When she turned her head to the side, Sarada was looking at her expectantly. She had been playing with used medical equipment and cotton balls for hours and had not complained even once. She was such a good child that Sakura felt ashamed of her self-centered misery.
"We can't go back yet," Sakura said to her apologetically and straightened her body with an effort. "Today's test takes more time."
Sarada nodded bravely, though she was barely able to hide her disappointment. On the first day, Sakura had tried to explain the details of what she was doing to this five year old. The girl's confused blinks had been sobering. It really made no sense. Breaking apart the blood and saliva of four people in a wild gooses chase for some hint she could pursue further… totally unscientific and clearly a waste of time. Properly sequencing DNA took four to eight weeks that she did not have, which meant she had to try all kinds of other things to keep herself occupied. Most of it was a complete failure. Yesterday, what she had done proved that she and Sarada were females and Kaeru and Kakashi were males. Glorious results.
"Hey, wanna practice chakra control again?" Sakura asked.
Teaching Sarada was slow progress, but if Sakura had learned one thing from interacting with Naruto it was that sometimes, not giving up was even more important than succeeding. Besides, even baby steps were better than nothing.
"Show me the hand signs," she told the girl.
"Ne," Sarada began the sequence dutifully. "U-ushi. Tora? Tatsu…"
Sakura got up to correct the position of Sarada's fingers, showing her once again how it was done properly, letting her copy the signs one by one. How was it possible Karin had not even taught her daughter the very basics?
"Okay," she smiled after another run through that showed improvement. "Just keep practicing. The trick is to get to the point where you can do it without thinking."
"Will Uncle Kakashi be proud when I show him?"
"Oh, for sure," Sakura said, feeling touched by Sarada's eagerness, "he'll be delighted to see how good you have become!"
"Can I try a clone again?" Sarada asked nervously.
"Of course!" Sakura encouraged her. "The hand signs are…?"
"Tora… Ee… Ushi, Inu?"
"Correct!" Sakura clapped her hands.
Sarada tried but the result was a dismal unshapely blob that showed no resemblance to her at all. Like every time she tried, she seemed to shy away from properly releasing her chakra at the end. What was she afraid of? Hurting someone? The disappointment on the girl's face made Sakura feel even more miserable than she already was. But when the girl's facial expression suddenly changed to angry determination when she stared at her hands, Sakura almost took a step back in a mixture of surprise and shock.
Sarada looked exactly like Sasuke.
Which shouldn't surprise her, she was Sasuke's daughter after all. Only... Sakura had kind of forgotten about it or maybe she should say she had suppressed the truth. But the longer she was alone with Sarada, the more natural it became to accept her as a semi-orphaned, traumatized child who just needed someone to be nice to her. A child she was okay caring for - a little at least, until her real mother was back.
But now that Sakura was reminded so clearly whose daughter she was, she was forced to relive that utterly humiliating moment at the hospital when Tsunade had declared the result of the paternity test. It hurt. It hurt so damn much.
Sasuke had a daughter, a daughter that was not hers.
Sasuke was in Konoha and she was here, in Kirigakure, with no way to talk to him. It was what she had wanted. Upon leaving Konoha, she had thought that physical distance would help her achieve emotional distance, would help her come to terms with her decisions that had let to a marriage she no longer wanted. Ah, but had she really been foolish enough to believe that by shunning him, their issues would miraculously resolve themselves?
If Kakashi was right about the Uchiha illness, their issues were only beginning.
Even under normal circumstances, she couldn't really hate Sasuke - at least not for long. And she could hate him even less if his actions were not deliberately mean but brought on by a genetic condition he had absolutely no fault for.
"Sarada, I have an idea," Sakura said, pushing all the Sasuke-thoughts as far away from her mind as possible. When she had been very little, her mother had used a little trick to get her to focus her chakra. Maybe this was exactly what Sarada needed?
"Your hands are always warm, right?" she asked the girl.
Sarada nodded sullenly.
"Come," Sakura said and extended her hands. "Look, my hands are much too cold from sitting around all day. Would you like to give me some of your warmth?"
Sarada nodded again, though with little enthusiasm, staring at her own hands dejectedly.
"Take my hands into yours," Sakura said.
Sarada did, gingerly.
"Now try and put some warmth into them… good. I can feel it. Try a little more."
It took awhile for Sakura to really feel it. But then, there was increasing warmth where their skin touched. So she had been right to think that Sarada was afraid of hurting people with chakra! It was a different story when she could help.
"If you want, you can now remove your hands from mine while you continue to send warmth to me," Sakura said after a while.
Sarada did as told. Her little hands were radiating pleasant heat.
"You're doing very well," Sakura smiled. It was working!
"Would you like to try whether you can do it just with your fingers? Yes, turn your hands a little… like this…"
Sarada was concentrating hard and even after she turned her palms away, Sakura felt the warmth emanate from her.
"That's it!" she said, "that's how you control chakra, Sarada. You can do the same with your feet and other parts of your body."
"Did I do it well?" Sarada asked hopeful.
"Like a real pro!" Sakura smiled, reaching out her hand to poke Sarada's forehead.
A Sasuke-gesture. The one Sasuke gesture, the one show of affection she had been content with for years, like the most stupid cow in the world. And just like that, everything was tainted again. It was like this day refused to give her even a single thing to be happy about.
"That man is coming," Sarada hissed, tensing up.
Oh, perfect, this day really made sure her misery was complete: That man.
That man was Nurun, the Head of Research. Young, kind of good-looking, nerdy in a semi-endearing, semi-annoying way - and clearly instructed to keep an eye on her, most likely by the Mizukage herself. Hastily, Sakura hid the interesting DNA samples away and busted out the fake ones she had prepared... just in time. All thanks to Sarada who had developed into an early warning system for this guy.
"Hi," Nurun smiled shyly as he entered the lab, revealing slightly crooked teeth that gave him a distinct bunny-look. "It's very late, why are you still here?"
Sarada frowned at him with not even a little restraint. Her dislike had been instantaneous and the intensity of it amused Sakura - at least on a good day. Today wasn't a good day though. She rubbed her temples in a futile attempt to lessen the tension in her head.
"I'm not done with today's work, that is why," she answered sweetly when she felt much more like screaming.
And now she wouldn't be done with anything because he had interrupted the sequencing - again. She could as well just stare at the empty wall all day, that's how useful she was at the moment.
"Would you… could I… do you want some dinner?" Nurun blurted out and turned very red as he looked to the side.
Sakura blinked. Had he just asked her out…?
"I know, you are married," Nurun quickly added, almost stumbling over the words, nervously righting his round glasses. "You're the Uchiha's wife, am I right?"
His eyes quickly flitted to her hair. Oh shit. The pink roots! Sakura had noticed this morning that they were beginning to show when she had thrown a glance at her sad face in the mirror this morning - and now he had already noticed and put the pieces together.
"Uhm…," she said, suddenly unsure whether she had completely misread the situation. Was she in danger after all?
"Don't worry," he said, "I won't tell anyone here."
Was that supposed to be comforting?
"You have nothing to fear from me," Nurun added in a low voice, "in fact, I'm working for…"
Somewhere in the building, a door was slammed shut with so much force everything shook around them. Hasty footsteps approached and one of Kirigakure's Anbu appeared at the door, before the spooked looking Nurun could finish his sentence.
"You are needed at the Hokage Tower this very moment," he barked at Sakura.
Her heart wanted to drop. Had something happened? Or… her heart started to beat faster, was Kakashi back?
But it wasn't Kakashi who lifted his head when Sakura entered the Mizukage's office. It was Kaeru. Kaeru in chains.
###
They turned their backs on him as soon as Ao signalled to stop, like every night. He didn't mind in the least, Kakashi hadn't expected comraderie or friendship from another village's black ops. Even if some of these men had served in his battle division back in the recent war, Konoha and Kirigakure had a lot of bad blood from the more distant past between them and he wasn't exactly innocent in that regard. He might even still be in their Bingo book.
Kakashi settled down away from the rest of the group in the semi-dark, his back against a tree, his arms behind his head. His supply of food pills was dwindling, but he didn't plan on running around the Land of Water for much longer. He was confident he'd be able to locate and apprehend Karin within the next twenty four hours.
He didn't need a Sharingan to copy somebody's jutsu, that had just helped him do it much faster. Some of the Hunter-nin had special sensory abilities he didn't have, but the others just used a series of clever tracking-jutsu to follow their prey. He knew how to do all of them by now, despite their attempts to keep their techniques from him.
The air was very moist here in the Land of Water, which wasn't entirely unpleasant and aided the Water jutsus, but it also flattened his hair, which repeatedly fell into his eyes because he wasn't wearing a headband. There was no need to rub it into these men's faces that they were doing something at the bidding of a foreigner, that's why he had left the headband with Sakura. Should he simply cut the hair off? It would be a pointless death if it obstructed his view in a crucial moment.
But he had no mirror with him and there was someone who really liked to grab his hair in the throes of passion. So what if he haplessly cut it in ways that made this grabbing harder, which would spoil her pleasure?
Kakashi sighed deeply. Ah, what sad, lonely thoughts.
Theoretically, his solitary evenings came with a choice. Either he gave in to moping and felt sorry for himself because he missed Sakura so much his heart ached with a dull, persistent pain - or he used the time more productively to plan for the future.
Then again, even when he managed to keep his mind occupied with necessities for a bit, his thoughts always returned to Sakura. The future… how much his relationship to it had changed in such a short time because of her. Kakashi had never considered the future to be a place for himself. It was for the next generation to inherit and his duty to make sure it was a good future for them.
But now… now he had started thinking about a future that was his too. This notion was so new to him he still had to get used to it.
Strangely, the opening up of a possible future was linked to the recent unlocking of his memories. Much of the details of his past were still lurking somewhere in the semi-dark, but it was all there now, he felt it, like a child that pulled at his hand, demanding his attention. It changed him as a person, in ways that made him realize why he had sealed off parts of his mind in the first place.
For who could use a Shinobi who brooded over the choices he had made and would base future decisions on the mistakes of his past? It was like a net, a very vast, intricate net of decisions and their consequences in which he was caught, adding weight to everything.
But it also made him feel whole.
All of it, it made him who he was. Hiding it away made him a better soldier, but a lesser human. Without Sakura, would he have allowed this hidden part of himself to surface?
Kakashi thought that the answer was "no". He thought that it was strange and liberating that he wanted to be a better human for her, and that wanting to be a better human made it possible for him to think about a future. One he could spend with her. Despite of everything.
If it was possible that he could change like this, it was possible that they could make it work… wasn't it? Even if he agreed to become Hokage for a bit.
If you become Hokage before the summer is over, she can have a normal childhood for a while, that woman had said. It was arm twisting at its most proficient. If he didn't hate to be manipulated this much, he might even have admired the delivery of this sentence. But Mrs. Nohara was ready to hurt people close to his heart and that made her an enemy. The worst kind of enemy: An enemy inside Konoha.
Would he be able to neutralize her if he took power?
Kakashi sighed again, lifting his head to see whether the stars were out yet. All of this, it went against his very nature. But he couldn't sit back and watch. As long as roots continued to grow in the dark, there could not be the peace the village deserved. He considered it his duty to rip them all out, to bring them to light and see them wither away.
Like he had to bring to light what had happened so many years ago, to a sweet girl on the brisk of womanhood. Madara's shadow, it lingered in ways it should not be allowed to - in the Uchiha tragedy that was still unfolding around them, in a woman returned from the dead but plunged into darkness.
That he was in the…
A sound, ever so faint reached his ears, interrupting his thoughts and bringing with it a surge of adrenaline.
Kakashi's hand wanted to dart to his pouch, but… he couldn't move. A short intake of breath, then a calm assessment of the situation. His heart was back to a steady rhythm in no time though he wanted to curse at himself for paying so little attention to his surroundings. Had one of the Kirigakure's Anbu snuck up on him? No, that was impossible, he could sense all of them over at the fire. But if not Kirigakure, who else…?
Kakashi sniffed the air. There was a faint, a very faint scent of garden flowers. Ah. There was one kunoichi he knew who had that handicap. He strained his eyes, noticing the faintest of shadows on the ground, flickering and dancing with the flames of the fire. He strained against the force that held him in place, lightly at first, then stronger. The paralysis almost broke. Very clever, but little stamina and even less willpower. There was one shinobi he knew who had that handicap.
"Shikamaru?" Kakashi whispered into the darkness.
"Sensei," the Shinobi's sluggish voice sounded from Kakashi's right, "what were you thinking about so deeply?"
About the future, Kakashi almost said, but that moment was gone. The present demanded his attention.
"So Tsunade sent reinforcement after all?" he asked.
There was a short silence - short, but too long. Not reinforcement. That was bad.
"Is Choji here too?" Kakashi asked to win time and sniffed the air again. Ino smelled of flowers. Choji smelled of potato chips, barbeque or candy. Yes, his nose picked up the faintest of traces. Why these three…?
"Yes, Sensei," Shikamaru said. He tried to sound neutral, but Kakashi heard the slight nervousness in his voice. If not reinforcement…
"You're here for me?" he asked.
"Tsunade ordered us to bring you back immediately."
"Why?"
"For an investigation."
"Of…" Had Sasuke caused more trouble? Or...
"You, Kakashi Sensei. Somebody logged a complaint against you, somebody powerful. The Fire Daimyo came to the village personally…"
Kakashi cursed. He was an idiot. That much for bringing Mrs. Nohara down. She was one step ahead of him, obviously, using her political muscle to force his hand again.
"Sensei, where is Sakura? Why are you in the company of…"
Kakashi cursed again, realizing the extent of this mess. "Can you pretend you haven't found me yet? I will follow you willingly in… one, two days. But I need..."
"I can't do that," Shikamaru said, sounding anguished. "I have orders."
"What I'm doing is important," Kakashi said with vehemence. "I will fight you."
"We will fight back."
"Dammit," Kakashi said, "be careful, guys. There are things afoot you should run from as fast as you can. Tell Tsunade to send people to find the Mountains' Graveyard. It's where…"
He felt Ino's attempt to invade his mind a fraction of a second before it was too late. He pushed against her jutsu with all he had - Ino seemed weaker than usual, of course! In her condition - and at the same time put all his determination into freeing himself from the shadow fetters. They were feeble to begin with, because fire didn't allow for a steady shadow. Besides, Shikamaru clearly needed a lecture about determination again, what half-assed attack!
Kakashi sprang up, grabbed a branch above his head, swung himself higher, into other trees and a little distance away. He heard Choji move now, clumsily and heavy, of course the Kirigakure Anbu heard him too. They extinguished the fire within seconds and swarmed into the forest. Kakashi sat very still, hardly breathing. He felt Ino prod around with her chakra fingers, so he slowed down his heartbeat even further to become undetectable.
She shouldn't be here. She was pregnant. Had she not told Tsunade and the others? Was she here for her friend Sakura? Get yourself to safety, Kakashi thought, please!
There was a shout, then a hasty retreat… He thought about following both parties to intervene if necessary, but the forest turned quiet quickly. Kakashi sat still for a while longer before he started breathing normally again.
They had not caught them. Shikamaru would be smart enough to get the other two away. Very well then... Now to find Karin as quickly as possible without running into more trouble himself...
###
Sakura wanted to start yelling at Kaeru but then she saw the distraught young woman who stood next to him. It had to be his sister, they looked alike. The woman's haunted eyes met hers and tried to hide her bruised face behind her long, wet hair, but Sakura saw the tell-tale signs of repeated abuse anyway.
"Kaeru, what happened?" Sakura blurted out, her eyes growing round in shock. The poor woman, who had done this to her?
The Mizukage snickered contently, her eyes flashing. "He killed one of our citizens in cold blood. He faces a very long prison sentence. It begins now."
What? "You killed…?" He'd never. Or would he? His sister was his only family. Of course he'd protect her with his own life.
"Her so-called husband," Kaeru looked to the floor with a grim expression as he finished her sentence. "He deserved it ten thousand times."
His sister made a sudden movement as if she wanted to speak up but a short shake of his head made her cower again. Sakura's eyes travelled down her arms to her bruised and cut fingers and chipped nails. Those were clear signs of someone who had fought a desperate fight with her bare hands.
"Can you take care of Ichika in my stead, please," Kaeru begged Sakura, sounding tearful. "She needs someone right now."
That silly, unlucky boy. Sakura looked over to the Mizukage with anger beginning to bubble in her.
"Something you want to say, student of Tsunade's?" the Mizukage asked sweetly.
"Yes," Sakura said, managing to keep her voice level for the moment. "Do you throw people into prison here without an investigation? What kind of lousy…"
Someone grabbed her arm forcefully. Nurun.
"Don't," he whispered to her. "Trust me."
Sakura shook off his hand and looked over at Kaeru. He looked miserable but shook his head at her as well, his eyes pleading. He was protecting his sister from going to prison herself.
"I'm sure we can come to a mutual agreement," the Mizukage yawned, looking at her nails, then pulling out a small knife to clean them. "There's certain things I'm dying to know. Maybe you can help me. And then I might help you. By giving him one of the nicer cells for example."
Sakura suppressed a shudder when the woman threw her a measuring look, but she straightened her back and glared at her.
"Feisty," the Mizukage grinned. "What's your relationship with Kakashi?"
"What business of yours is that?" Sakura snapped.
"The 'I'm calling the shots here'-kinda business. The 'you use me, I use you'-kinda business. Hatake Kakashi is a very cunning and skillful enemy. Did you really think I'd just sit around and wait for him to get what he wants without trying to get what I want?"
Of course not. Instead of spending romantic quality time with her, Kakashi had taught Sakura the Mind Sealing technique before his departure, which had taken half the night. It was a very complicated jutsu, but one he considered necessary for her to know in the current situation.
"If they try to force information out of you, protect yourself," he had said. "I will try to return as quickly as possible, but it could take more than a week."
"So you exploit a situation of domestic abuse to get to Kakashi? How very noble," Sakura spat.
"I don't know what you mean," the Mizukage smirked. "My police officers found a dead body and a Konoha black ops operative who admitted the crime. How would you in Konoha deal with such a situation?"
Another black ops member caught killing people from the Land of Fire? He'd either die on the spot or - face a long prison sentence. Had the Mizukage just exploited a situation to her benefit - or was this whole thing staged? Was Mrs. Nohara behind this? She was the one who had mentioned Kaeru's sister's husband in ways that made Sakura shudder now…
"Let me repeat my question," the Mizukage said. "What's your relationship with Kakashi? And… who is it he is trying to find so desperately?"
"It's only the girl's mother," Nurun chipped in.
"Oh?" The Mizukage said, her eyes turning to him, "and why would someone like Kakashi go after 'only the girl's mother'? Is the girl special? Or the mother?"
"The mother," Nurun said with a deadpan face. "It's Karin Uzumaki."
"Oh," the Mizukage said and furrowed her brow. "That bitch owes me big time. I'll thank Kakashi for catching her before ripping her head off."
Yeah, shit. Sakura glared at Nurun, but he tried to signal something to her with his eyebrows.
"Konoha wants her? Why?"" the Mizukage asked and then, her eyes focused on Sarada. "That one doesn't look like an Uzumaki at all."
"She has no talents whatsoever," Nurun said coldly. "I've seen them practice hand signs and jutsus. A failure."
Sarada's little face turned very angry as she sneered at the Head of Research but Sakura thanked the gods for Kakashi's seal - Sarada had showed her the tiny signs around her earrings - and Sarada's lack of skills.
"It doesn't make any sense," the Mizukage said after a short deliberation. "Why would Hatake Kakashi come here with his lover, Karin Uzumaki's child and an Anbu who kills his sister's husband in my jurisdiction?"
"Well," Nurun began again, "I think that…"
"You think too much," the Mizukage barked at him, "shut up and do your job. As soon as Kakashi gets back, I'll have my answers. I know how deeply that fool gets attached to people - it's always been his biggest weakness. Throw them all in prison. The most secure cell. Let's see what Kakashi is ready to give up to see them again."