"R… Rin?" Kakashi pressed out between gritted teeth, "are you alright?"

"Shh, don't talk," Sakura said. A sob escaped her throat. There was so much blood... "Do you think I came back after such a long time just to see you die?"

Kakashi's half-closed eyes crinkled a little at the corners.

"I'm very glad you're here, Rin," he murmured. And then, his head rolled to the side.

"Goddammit," Sakura sobbed, "don't you die on me."

It was like a nightmare, but nightmares didn't smell like dead people, they weren't biting cold from ice and snow nor were they sticky from blood flowing out of gut wounds. Was there really no escape from the horrors of the battlefield? The artery she was trying to mend kept slipping away from her. She concentrated harder, but the damage was horrendous.

Someone knelt down next to her. "Here," her travel companion said in his harsh sounding language. He pressed a syringe into her hand. "That'll slow the blood flow."

"W… where do I apply this?" she hadn't even realized she was crying, but now she quickly removed the snot on her face with her sleeve.

"Let me," Micha said and took the syringe back, bending over Kakashi's arm to inject it.

There was a movement to Sakura's left and she jerked around in alarm.

"I'm… I'm with him," the woman staggering out from behind a rock said, "let me…"

Rin!

She was as pale as a ghost and her hand was pressed to a wound on her side, which, at a second glance, wasn't very deep.

"Not a step closer!" Sakura hissed at her.

"Wh… I'm…," Rin swayed dangerously but caught her balance. "Who…are you!" Her hands came into a tottering defensive stance. "Take your hands off him!"

"She's hurt," Micha said drily, observing her with his head tilted to the side from where he knelt. "She's going to keel over any minute."

"I don't trust her," Sakura told him in his language. "Those are her men." She made a movement with her head towards the bodies scattered all around them.

"Hm," Micha commented, narrowing his eyes.

"Let me help," Rin begged and pooled chakra into her hands to start healing herself, "please. He can't die."

"Is she a doctor too?" Micha asked intrigued. "She does that thing you do."

"Yes," Sakura nodded.

"He needs all the help he can get," Micha remarked pragmatically, pointing his chin at Kakashi. He was almost always right, a real smart-ass weisenheimer, but it was hard to dislike him for it, he was just too down-to-earth despite his many talents.

Biting her lip, Sakura moved to the left a little. "Hurry," she told Rin gruffly.

The woman Kakashi had mistaken her for staggered over, falling on her knees next to her and putting her shaking hands over Kakashi's wound, then jerking backwards.

"Who… who removed his mask!"

"I did," Sakura frowned, "he could asphyxiate."

Rin looked confused, turned a little red, looked away and then put her hands back. "What… caused this…," her eyes widened in shock at the sight of the damage.

"Is she asking what did this?" Micha was continuing to observe her with interest.

"Yes," Sakura answered.

"He was shot," Micha said grimly, "very common in my part of the world. "

Not in this, but that was something to worry about later.

"There's a piece of metal stuck inside of him, get it out," Micha instructed them and bent a little closer.

Sakura located the metal with chakra and pulled it into her hands swiftly.

"You're good," Micha sounded duly impressed.

"That blood-stilling procedure you invented," Sakura told Rin, "do that."

"What blood-stilling procedure?" Rin sniffled.

Seriously now? "I'll show you," Sakura said urgently. "Like this?"

"There's… there's another one," Rin said suddenly, looking at them with haunted eyes, "the Mizukage is hurt too!"

"A second one injured," Sakura translated for Micha, "can you go have a look?"

"Certainly," Micha nodded, "which way?"

He disappeared into the trees after Rin had pointed North-East and for a brief moment, Sakura felt panic rise inside of her at the view of his retreating back. Don't leave me alone! she wanted to shout, but that was just a silly reflex, she had gotten too used to his level-headed presence and stoic pragmatism.

It was pure coincidence that she had begged Micha to press on tonight instead of staying at a roadhouse, despite the nasty weather. Or not coincidence: Her homesickness had increased a thousandfold in the last few days and she just couldn't wait to be back. Even if the thought of stepping into the Hokage's office to report had given her severe anxiety for weeks.

She had imagined all kinds of scenarios. In the few more optimistic moments, she had imagined that he'd jump up and grab her, overwhelmed by the depth of his feelings for her. He'd say: "Of course I fought for you. I got Sasuke's blessing, we can be together!" And they'd kiss and kiss and make love for days and Kakashi would pass on the title of Hokage to Naruto who had become the most amazing adult in the last eight months.

In less optimistic moments she had imagined Kakashi's coldness. His contempt. She was certain he had moved on, why wouldn't he? That he was married, with a child underway. Or that he had five girlfriends at the same time, one for every weekday, all tall, slender, beautiful and far more talented than her.

But all of that, all of that was preferable to him dying in the snow before her.

"What happened here?" she asked Rin as they both continued to pour healing chakra into Kakashi. Their chakras seemed to magnify each other, weaving into a pattern that looked like a strong net. And finally, it looked like the bleeding was slowing down! Sakura heaved a shaking sigh. Now they could concentrate on mending the organs.

"I don't understand," Rin whimpered, "it was an ambush. Kakashi… he killed them… they tried to abduct me."

Her eyes moved around the clearing. She looked lost and confused.

"What were you doing here?"

"I recognize you now," Rin said suddenly, her eyes snapping back to Sakura's face. "You're that woman."

"Yes, and you're that woman," Sakura gave back, "why did your own men try to abduct you?"

"My own men…?" Rin frowned and then began to shake. "Why would you… say that?"

She might be under shock, Sakura thought a bit taken aback, she did show some of the signs for it. No use to press her too much for information right now.

"The Hokage doesn't normally leave the village unless it's absolutely necessary, especially at night " Sakura said, looking at Kakashi's pale face as if she could get an answer from it. Why would he do something so reckless? She had prayed every day that he was well. That he was happy. That he was liking his new responsibilities. She had prayed all the harder because deep down, she feared he might not be.

"He…," Rin said, "he meets the Mizukage in secret for a sparring match once a month. He feels trapped in the village. Like me."

And he always takes you with him…? Sakura couldn't stomach details about the Rin-Kakashi relationship status so she stopped herself from asking more questions. She would find out early enough what reality she was returning to and already knew she wasn't ready. Him mistaking her for Rin before almost dying was bad enough for the day.

Micha came back through the trees, carrying someone on his back.

"She's hanging on by a thread," he wheezed after putting the Mizukage's body in the snow, "how is that one doing?"

"We stabilized him for the time being," Sakura said.

Hearing herself say it made a rush of emotions spill out of her and she began sobbing like a baby. She was so relieved.

"Hm," Micha said after bending over Kakashi and checking his vitals, "I understand. He's the one in the photo you carry around with you."

Then he got up and went over to his luggage, rummaging around for something.

"We need to sew him up for transport," he said, "I'll do it. You help the woman."

Sakura nodded, drying her tears and moving over to the Mizukage.

"Oh shit," she breathed when she saw her wound: it looked even worse than Kakashi's. Rin was still sitting in the snow, her head hanging down, swaying a little back and forth, looking like she was going to pass out soon.

"Rin," Sakura told her sternly, "I need you to help me again."

Rin looked up, her eyes unfocused, shivering violently.

"Pull yourself together," Sakura snapped at her, "I know it's all terrible, but this woman cannot die either."

Rin nodded and came over, soon adding chakra to this wound too. After a while, Micha joined them.

"She needs to be in a hospital," he observed.

"Konoha is several hours away," Sakura said with a sinking feeling.

"That's not good," Micha said darkly, looking up to the sky that continued to relentlessly pelt snow at them. "Does anyone here have signal rockets?"

"Signal rockets…?" Sakura frowned. Her language skills were limited, she might be fairly proficient with medical words by now, but there were so many other areas she was completely lost in.

"You shoot them up into the sky," Micha explained, "they're very bright and can alert others."

"We have no such thing," Sakura said. She looked at her hands, trying to figure out how she could shoot light into the sky with them. No use. She shook her head at Micha and he shrugged.

"Are there any troops nearby?" Sakura addressed Rin.

"I don't think so," Rin lamented, "nobody is deployed right now. Kakashi sent me back to the village to get help, but I didn't want to leave him alone."

"How far away are we from the gates?" Sakura asked. Three hours? Four?

"He didn't go at full speed," Rin said and looked at Kakashi with so much tenderness that Sakura's heart cramped up, "because he knew I wouldn't be able to keep up if he did. It took us two hours and about forty minutes."

Closer than she had thought. Okay. Okay, she had a plan.

"Listen," she told Micha firmly, "Rin will charge ahead and alert the village. You carry the Mizukage on the main road and they will send men to intercept and help you. Three hours. Can she make it?"

Micha tilted his head to the side as he looked at Keiki. "Three hours? I don't think so. Is it preferable to die on my back than to freeze to death here I wonder?"

"We have got to try," Sakura urged him, "please. She is a…," she didn't know the word for village leader, "she is an important person, if she dies, we have a huge problem."

"Then let's be optimistic," Micha said and rolled his shoulders. "I have been working out before this trip, you know."

Sakura snorted.

"And you stay here?" He looked at her questioningly.

"I'll be fine," Sakura said, "I have chakra to keep us warm."

Kakashi had no coat, she noticed. But she'd manage. It was only a few hours.

"No fire?"

"We shouldn't risk it," Sakura sighed. "What if there are more enemies?"

Micha nodded. "I didn't quite believe what you told me about your world before, but now I do. Fierce. Like you."

"You can have my coat," Rin offered and began taking it off right away after Sakura had informed her about the plan. "Also my scarf, hat and mittens. I will go as fast as I can, I will be warm enough."

"Are you… sure?"

Rin nodded, bending down to Kakashi, carefully putting the mittens on his hands and putting the hat on his head, her hand lingering on his face for a while.

"I'll be waiting for help underneath that tree over there," Sakura said, averting her eyes from Rin and Kakashi and pointing at a huge pine tree whose branches almost touched the ground. It offered some protection from the wind and from potential enemies.

"I'll help you carry him," Micha offered.

They both helped her arrange Kakashi's body against hers, bundling them up with the clothes they had, one coat around her, one coat covering him.

"Godspeed," Sakura said. "See you in Konoha. Soon."

And then they were gone.

Her heart was beating very fast, but the forest lay unthreatening and silent, the only sound she could hear was the soft rustling of snow and Kakashi's labored breathing.

The thought of what had almost happened made her seriously sick. What if she had not come by this place tonight...? No doubt, she would have lost him. Would have lost him without… without being able to tell him how hard it had been without him in the last eight months. That she did not want to be anywhere where he was not.

"Never do anything like this again," she told him sternly, "never, do you hear me?"

She willed more warmth and more healing energy into him, occasionally checking his pulse and temperature. Chakra was flowing through his body slowly, but it was flowing, he was healing. It was like a miracle: though she would rather not have admitted it, Rin was very skilled. And them together… she had never felt so connected with another medic, not even with Tsunade.

Kakashi stirred faintly in her arms, groaning in pain. Her heart shuddered.

"Kakashi," Sakura said very quietly, "I missed you so much."

Underneath the coats, she searched for his hands to hold.

"I saw so many things!" she told him. "I wanted to share everything with you. I wrote letters… then I destroyed them. I'm such a chicken, I thought…"

Sakura sighed. What did it matter now.

"I won't be a burden to you," she told him after a while. "I'll be brave. I will respect your choices. But I will stay nearby. And I will watch your back. I will make sure you don't get hurt again."

She held him more firmly, put her face at his neck.

"At the very least, can we be like we were before? Teacher and student. It's enough for me. I mean… it will be."

She must have fallen asleep like this because she jerked up when someone said "Sakura, are you here?"

Her legs were asleep, Kakashi's warm body was leaning against her heavily. His breathing was regular, his face peaceful and he was gripping her hands.

"Y… yes?" her voice was shaking and didn't carry, but it was sufficient to be heard. Sai moved aside the branches and peered in.

"I'm here to pick you up," he said, his pale face contorted with worry. "I came on a bird. How is the Hokage?"

"Alive," Sakura sighed. "He's alive."

Kakashi wouldn't let go of her hands even for a second when Sai's paper bird flew them to Konoha and she held him very, very close.

He probably still believed she was Rin.

Even that … it had to be enough. It had to be.

###

He didn't mind the dying part. It was a bit like falling asleep, a type of fading during which sound, sight, taste, touch all stopped and you floated gently down into the everlasting darkness. He had experienced it before, but unlike the last time nobody waited for him at the bottom. His father had moved on to another plane behind this one a while ago. Could he go there too?

"Pa?" Kakashi asked, "Is there a door? Can you open it for me?"

Instead of an answer, he felt something tug at him. He looked down and saw a glowing green thread coming out of his belly button.

"Hmmm," he smiled. The glowing thread felt good. It made him think of being in a soft, warm bed with a hot, steaming mug of coffee in his hands, reading a good book, without anything else to do all day.

The tugging intensified, so he let himself be pulled forward. Shortly after, the smile died on his face. There was a sea of pain up ahead, he could sense it. His pain. And then it washed over him, pain that felt like something wanted to rip him apart but found more pleasure in not quite going all the way and end it.

"We stabilized him for the time being," someone said. Someone he… had to…

More pain. He retreated into a corner and rolled himself up into a tight ball, but that didn't help much. After much agony, the pain faded a little. There was warmth and comfort. A softness… he... couldn't quite…

… there is something I must remember, Kakashi suddenly remembered.

"Yes," someone said sullenly.

Kakashi opened his eyes and saw himself: his younger self, carrying his father's sword on his back and looking half bored, half pissed off.

"You cannot forget," his youthful self chided him.

"What?" Kakashi asked, gingerly sitting up. The pain stayed in the background. Kakashi took a deep breath. What bliss.

"You cannot forget," the boy Kakashi said. "You cannot forget that you cannot forget."

Kakashi rolled his eyes at himself.

"Yes, you're a real idiot," his younger self said and walked away.

That gave Kakashi something to think about for a while. Why was he an idiot? Before he could find the answer though the place he was in suddenly tilted to the side. There was a noise that became louder and louder. Could it not stop? Could he not…

His eyes sprang open.

Green… shimmering green all around him and the incessant beeping of an alarm very close to his ear. He tried to move but felt the pain lurk at the ready to jump at him and stopped before it could unleash its full force. Lying very still, he breathed slowly in and out. In and out.

A head appeared in his field of vision. Brownish, short-cut hair, a straight, somewhat long nose and pronounced cheekbones.

"Sensei!" the head exclaimed, "you are awake!"

"Make the noise go away," Kakashi groaned.

"I… I don't know how!" the young man said starting to reach everywhere and tapping things frantically, "it's set to alert the doctors and… ah!" his head turned. "Here they come."

People in white gathered around him and soon, the noise stopped as did the green light.

"Hokage-sama, can you hear me?" a male doctor with a bunny-look and slightly crooked teeth asked and prodded him here and there.

Huh?

"Yes, I can hear you," Kakashi said, finding his voice raw and his throat hurting. Was he at the hospital? In Konoha? But who were these people?

"Where am I?" he blurted out.

"The intensive care unit," the doctor said, "you were badly hurt."

That explained the goddamn pain that sat inside of him like a fiery demon. But what year was it? Were they at war?

They asked how much in pain he was on a scale from one to ten. He said five because it was in the middle and they injected him with something that made him light-headed and sleepy. He heard them discussing waking someone up but then deciding against it since his vitals were stable and that other person was so very exhausted.

When there was a chance to converse without being overheard, Kakashi waved the brown-haired young man closer.

"Who is Hokage right now?" he asked him in a low voice, thinking he would know what year it was when he heard that. But… uh-oh. The boy's wide-eyed look didn't bode well.

"You are, Kakashi Sensei! Have you…," here, the young man dropped his voice. "Have you forgotten? Oh shit."

He got very agitated after that. "Listen, you gave me instructions if this should happen," he whispered. "So you used the Sharingan?"

The… Sharingan?

Okay, something was not right. Kakashi blinked. Both his eyes were open. Both saw… normally. There was no red tinge, there was… no Sharingan. And yet, these were not his eyes. And he was Hokage? In what absurd world had that happened?

Kakashi cursed because if he didn't, he would panic.

The young man left hurriedly before Kakashi could tell him to please stay. To keep his mind off more unpleasant things, he tried to remember how he had gotten hurt but it was like looking at a wall of fog behind which he saw shadows dance. There was a feeling rising inside of him… concern… for…

Oh please no, he thought terrified, please tell me nobody has died on the mission with me!

The doctors came back and did some more tests on him and he endured all of it stoically and in silence though he was about the opposite of stoic inside.

"Try to sleep," they told him afterwards, expressing great happiness at the state of his health.

Sleep? His mind was racing. Luckily, the young man came back soon, pulling a black notebook from his pocket.

"Here," he said, "here. You told me to get it for you if you should ever wake up like this."

A wicked headache was forming behind Kakashi's eyes, but he opened to notebook and began to read. His handwriting. Very small letters.

"These are my memories," he read, "sorted by topics. I hope they can be recovered this way." And then there was a list with entries such as "youth", "military training", "Root", "War", etc.

"This is necessary because the use of the Mangekyo Sharingan erases memories," he had written on page one, "I do not understand which ones or how many but I think it's becoming worse with every usage."

And: "I have let Kabuto continue his experiments on me with the Uchiha blood even though we both know this blood is tainted and to blame for amnesia as well as personality change. He gave me new pills. They affect several of the gates. He still hasn't been able to fix the chakra drain. I won't use the Mangekyo Sharingan unless I absolutely have to."

He continued reading, quicker and quicker. He stopped at a chapter labeled "Sakura" because of a note underlined with red: "Read only if you don't mind the heartache."

And then they were suddenly stirring. Deep inside his mind. Memories, rising up like ghosts, called forth by his written words. Decisively, he turned to the last page.

"Be very careful and do not let Rin and the Noharas know you suspect them. It is possible that the Uchiha madness is affecting me, but I am not sure what I brought back with me to Konoha anymore."

The last entry was: "I must remember the cave. I must remember the God Tree. I must remember the chakra fruits. I must remember the curse seal. I must remember Rin's transformation."

Kakashi shuddered. And with that, more recent memories flooded his head. Snow, ice and blood... A sudden jolt of adrenaline raced through him.

"Is Rin safe?" Kakashi burst out. "The Mizukage?"

"Yes," the young man whom he now recognized as Kaeru nodded, "both, safe. Sensei, don't worry, we're keeping this incident really quiet for the moment, is that what you would have done too? Yamato ordered it."

"Yes," Kakashi agreed. "I'll be back in the office at daybreak, nobody will know."

"Sensei… no!" Kaeru protested, "you almost died!"

"Whether I lie here on my back or sit there in the office doesn't matter much," Kakashi insisted.

"She's gonna kill you," Kaeru murmured.

"I'll try to sleep a little," Kakashi said. "Take this book back to where I hid it before."

"Do you remember everything?" Kaeru asked curiously, taking the notebook into his hands gingerly.

"No," Kakashi said. "But all that I wanted to remember."

###

Sakura was walking briskly, Micha like a tall, calm shadow right behind her. The nurse who had raised her from her death-like sleep was finally drying her tears after Sakura's repeated assurance that she would not be faulted for anything.

Anger was a good protective mechanism for vulnerable heart. She didn't even hesitate when she pushed open the door to the intensive care unit, one deep breath would have to do to ready herself. And there he was.

"Hokage-sama!" she said sharply. "You cannot leave yet. Lie back down immediately!"

She couldn't believe Kakashi was fully dressed and standing. Micha murmured something about having the constitution of an ox and adjusting the dose of the drugs but he sounded impressed too.

Her anger had grown big enough that she felt some kind of satisfaction at Kakashi's reaction when he saw her instead of worrying too much about him. He gripped the bed's foot rail for support and his mouth flew open.

"S… sakura?" he stuttered. "Wh… what… who…?"

"Lie down," she said again with authority as long as she still possessed some.

He didn't. But he sat down at least and looked at her with big eyes. They moved over her hair - it was longer than before and she felt a bit self-conscious about it - over her face, her body and she felt blood rise to her cheeks, instantly hating herself for it. But they fixated on the yellow-black pin on her doctor's gown that indicated she was the acting Head of the Hospital.

"You are…?" He blinked, looked over at Kaeru, then frowned. Well thanks, had he not told her she would do this exceptionally well? And now he was surprised?

"Your wound was very serious," she said sternly, "you need to stay in the hospital for quite some time."

"She isn't a hallucination, is she?" he murmured.

"I wish she were," Kearu answered gruffly.

"You," she snapped at him, "have you no sense? If you want to protect him then tell him to listen to his doctors instead of bringing him clothes!"

"He follows my orders," Kakashi said coldly. "And my orders are clear. I have a council meeting today. I cannot miss it. Under no circumstances."

"I will make him sleep all day," Micha suggested, "would that be agreeable to you, Sakura?"

When he spoke, Kakashi's eyes narrowed on him.

"Who is that?" he asked sharply.

"Michael von Krafftheim-Hohenzollern," Sakura said, "he is a specialist for advanced biosciences and helped me with…"

Bam, the door was slammed against the wall when someone ran in at high speed, making Sakura jump.

"Kakashiii!" Rin yelled, "Kakashi, you're awake! I'm so glad, I'm so glad, I thought I'd lost you."

And then she was already at the bed, her hands around his body. He grunted in pain, but she was undeterred, pressing him to herself.

"Okay," he said, "oookay, that's enough," gently dislodging her hands and pushing her away. "Are you alright?" he asked, looking her over.

"Yes," she nodded, "only a minor wound. You were… you were amazing! You saved my life, I cannot thank you enough."

"And you saved mine," he replied, "thank you."

His eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled at her.

Sakura wanted to scream.

"Reporting back, Hokage-sama," she said sharply.

Kakashi turned his head towards her and lifted his eyebrows.

"We've got the cure," she said. "At least we think we do."

"Oh, good," he said and got up. "Tell me everything about it in my office. In fifteen minutes."

"But you…"

"... are the Hokage, yes. And today is a day I will not appreciate being contradicted. Like any other day. I advise you to get used to it, Sakura."

And he had the audacity to pat her on the shoulder as he walked out.

"I will throttle him!" Sakura hissed after him between gritted teeth.

Micha laughed. "I see why you like him."

"Oh shut up," Sakura huffed and stomped towards her hospital room to find something to change into.