Immature? Him?! Kakashi snorted.

Recollecting all the things she had said this morning, he began to scribble an extensive black cloud on the notepad before him. A black cloud that rained heavily on a woman. A woman with a diamond shaped seal on her forehead. A woman without respect.

"Are you going to draw pictures or will you listen to my report?" Sasuke Uchiha asked pointedly.

Kakashi looked up. "I'm listening," he murmured and pushed the notepad away. "Please continue."

After another thorough examination of the Stone Table at the Naka Shrine in the Uchiha District, Sasuke had visited all the other known Uchiha clan sites, supply bases and hideouts, searching for additional information on their prehistory, sadly with zero success.

"There is one partially damaged stone tablet in Sora-ku I had some difficulty deciphering, but I've come to the conclusion that it's just a warning against trespassers," Sasuke concluded his report.

"That's disappointing," Kakashi said. "Any idea where else your clan could have stored secret information about the Ōtsutsukis?"

Sasuke shook his head, his lips a thin line.

"Maybe there's something we overlooked in Uzushiogakure?" Kakashi mused.

"Impossible," Sasuke said.

"Something even your Rinnegan doesn't reveal," Kakashi suggested.

It had occurred to him that it was possible that only someone with Senju powers could find the information they needed. Senju… or Uzumaki powers. But where to look? The Village Hidden by Whirling Tides lay in ruins.

"Such a thing doesn't exist," Sasuke said resolutely.

"If I could, I would send Naruto and Karin there," Kakashi said. "Just to make sure."

"Loony Karin?" Sasuke scoffed. "Seriously?"

Or Sarada. Someone who combined the powers and the genes of Asura and Indra. But Sarada was too little to be used in this cause and if Kakashi was proud of anything, it was that his sacrifice had managed to keep her safe so far.

"I'll go again if you want me to," Sasuke shrugged, "though it's useless."

"The weather makes it hard to travel at the moment. Stay in Konoha for a while, Sasuke, and relax. Have you been to the Uchiha compound recently? Work has slowed down because of the snow, but it's impressive how far they've gotten."

Sasuke shook his head again, looking gloomier and distinctly disdainful.

"What?" Kakashi asked.

Sasuke pressed his lips together even tighter. "Nohara money."

"Yeah, exactly: Nohara money. Be more like me, Sasuke, and don't give a damn what people say. I'm going to make our 'benefactors' pay for everything Konoha needs, watch me."

"It's easy if you have no pride to begin with."

"You still have not learned your lesson?" Kakashi chuckled, not in the least offended. "Haven't I told you many times that pride should be treated like a rare good? Only use it when you absolutely need it."

"I can't," Sasuke said gruffly.

It was already a lot from Sasuke, this much self-awareness and his grudging collaboration that bordered on loyalty. It made Sasuke one of his most valuable allies in this subversive battle. Yes, Sasuke was extremely rude - but also brutally honest in ways hugely useful to a village leader. Sasuke was hard to convince that something apart from his training was a worthwhile investment of time and energy, turning him into a living litmus test for Kakashi's rather unconventional strategies in this cat and mouse game. His overall attitude was the reason why Kakashi had put him in charge of the Nohara guards. Sasuke condescendingly called them his 'brainwashed dogs', but he had managed to get them in line, not thanks to his leadership qualities - he had none - but because they were piqued by his extreme competitiveness, his battle skills and his obsessive self-discipline.

"How is Sarada doing?" Kakashi asked, a routine question that Sasuke always took very seriously. He launched into listing all the things his daughter had excelled at this week and the special lessons he had given her after school.

Kakashi smiled behind his mask. In the moments he talked about Sarada, Sasuke's whole face was transformed, a rare glimpse into a depth of feelings that was rarely allowed to surface. It was obvious to him that by finally embracing his father role, Sasuke was changing. Clearly for the better.

"Exactly what I would expect of an Uchiha," Kakashi said. "Are you going to move to the compound once we have finished rebuilding?"

Sasuke's face turned gloomy again.

"What is it?" Kakashi asked because Sasuke never volunteered information, especially not the personal kind.

"She doesn't come home anymore."

For a heartstopping moment, Kakashi thought Sarada had run away, but that didn't make sense. No, Sasuke must be talking about the woman with no respect.

And he was telling him this why…? He had nothing to do with it.

"What do you mean?" Kakashi asked, feeling anger rise inside of him again. She had called him immature. Him! Her teacher and leader!

"Sakura is living at the hospital," Sasuke said. "In a room as big as a shoe box with no windows. After pressuring me to get this particular apartment with the view of this stupid Hokage mountain…"

"You don't enjoy seeing my face every time you look out of the window?" Kakashi quipped.

Sasuke's death stares were always fun to receive.

"I'm sure she's just busy," Kakashi shrugged, "she has only recently come back to Konoha."

Besides, the equipment and other things from far away lands had arrived this week, crate after crate that had travelled around the world in a lesser tempo than their owners. Micha was busy setting up his infrastructure in one of Kabuto's labs. They would be able to start with the tests soon.

"Have you not told her about the adoption papers?" Sasuke demanded to know.

"Me? I wanted to once, then I got distracted," massively so. By her. Kakashi's eyes searched the pile to his right. There they were. "Why, what did she say?"

"Nothing."

"What do you mean, nothing."

"I haven't been able to talk to her. She's avoiding me."

"Sasuke…," Kakashi felt his mouth fall open, "don't tell me you filed for adoption without discussing this with her first!?"

"What if I have," Sasuke replied sullenly.

"Sasuke! You cannot do that!" Kakashi felt like shouting, but that had never gotten him anywhere with this specimen of an Uchiha. Why was it so goddamn difficult for them to communicate like normal people?!

"I've lost my ability to talk to her. Maybe I was never able to. Can you help me? She listens to you."

Kakashi laughed mirthlessly. "No, she doesn't, Sasuke."

Oh, he insisted on the 7am meetings every second day, just so she had to get up early, but they were a complete disaster. Every single of them had ended in a fight so far. She had contrary opinions to his, she was extremely moody and even ruder than her husband. This morning, she had ripped into him for doubling Sai's missions, when 'he had promised her not to let him back into the Anbu'.

He had no recollection of such a stupid promise and had told her so, trying to quite rationally explain why Sai had to be the one to do the surveillance of the mountainous area between the Land of Fire and Water.

'Convenient', she had snorted. After asking what she meant, she had had the gall to claim he deliberately forgot things he didn't like remembering, which was…. urgh! So infuriating.

"Women become this scary once a month," Kaeru had said with a shudder this morning.

But Kakashi had known Sakura for a long time and it had never happened once a month before. He had a strong suspicion that it was still an aftereffect of this 'affair' they had had - though it should be resolved by now. Had they not come to a mutual understanding that they would pretend it had never happened?

Not that they had ever managed to openly talk about it. However directly he asked, Sakura was lying, but Kakashi still didn't understand what she was lying about. That she had stolen his notebook to stop him from reading about them was a grave offense and unbelievably stupid on top. Had she actually thought he wouldn't know immediately who had taken it the next time he went to his apartment to look for it - which was a mere hour after she had left?

Fuming, Kakashi pulled the notepad closer and began to make the black cloud bigger.

He shouldn't have left his valuable book with her. He couldn't sleep because he racked his brains for memories, trying to guess what things he could have written. The notebook had to contain terrible or embarrassing things for her to behave like this. Thinking about it was distracting him in ways that were clearly messing with his head. She strutted around in her slightly too tight clothes, showing off those shapely curves, drawing his eyes to places eyes didn't belong, making him think of her all the time. He had even had several very explicit dreams about her that to his embarrassment had ended in soiled sticky bed sheets. Like a hormonally challenged teenager!

"You don't want to help me with this," Sasuke observed, his eyes following Kakashi's aggressive scribbling.

"Correct," Kakashi said, "it's not my job to solve your personal problems. Though it's easy: if something is not working, fix it. Go to the hospital and talk to her."

"I've tried that but she says she has no time."

"Maybe she doesn't have time."

"She has time for that foreigner."

"That's work, Sasuke. Just think about the responsibilities she has now. The hospital employs at least 100 people!"

"Why do I even bother," Sasuke said angrily. "She was always your favorite and you've always been on her side."

"How is this taking sides!? I'm merely telling you that your wife is one of the busiest people in Konoha," Kakashi glared at Sasuke. He had no patience left and no wish to be a marriage counselor. Should he just throw him out? But then he saw that Sasuke was trying to say something, something that cost him quite some effort. Not done then.

"I'm… I think I forgot things again."

Kakashi perked up. Not good. "Are you doing what we discussed?"

Sasuke moved his head from side to side slowly. "Kind of."

"Kind of! Sasuke…," Kakashi balled his hands into fists and took a few deep breaths. "Go talk to Kabuto right away. If you feel your condition is getting worse even without the use of the Mangekyo Sharingan, we need to do something!"

"We have a cure now."

"Yes, but it's not tested yet. That will take time!"

"I don't care. I want it."

Because Kakashi had known him from a young age, he recognized the fear in Sasuke's eyes. It gave him pause. He knew from his own experience how scary it was to lose parts of your memories. But at least they had narrowed down the cause to the use of the Mangekyo, which had suggested it was manageable. If that wasn't the cause or not the only cause…

"What kind of things did you forget?" Kakashi asked.

"About… Sakura, I think," Sasuke frowned. "I don't remember… I don't remember why I married her. And I don't remember… what it feels… I think… I don't feel anything."

"Please write down everything you remember. Childhood, missions, etc., I told you how to do it, right? Read it every night. As soon as you realize there's a gap, write it down too. We need an exact logfile. Also other observations having to do with a change in your personality. If you're losing the ability to feel…"

"Did I ever have it?" Sasuke mused.

"Do you remember your brother?" Kakashi asked quietly.

"I do," Sasuke said. "Yes, you're right, I feel negative emotions. I am angry all the time. Sometimes very angry."

"Warn us when you think your anger might turn destructive. I do not wish to face another Madara."

"Nobody could stop me," Sasuke said matter of factly. "I should probably leave the village if this continues. You stand no chance against me. You have neither the skill nor the chakra reserves that it takes to..."

"Thank you, Sasuke, I know that. But I do have Naruto. He can stop you. And he will."

Sasuke snorted, but seemed relieved.

"What you're saying is worrying," Kakashi said sharply, "I will talk to Micha and tell him to hurry up."

"He doesn't understand you."

"He's learning," Kakashi shrugged. They wouldn't depend on Sakura for translation forever.

"I want the cure to be tested on me directly," Sasuke demanded. "Not on you. You're far less affected by this."

"I guess," Kakashi said. "But there's a high risk..."

"I don't care," Sasuke said. "I think you understand what is at stake here."

"Yes," Kakashi said. "I do. Okay, I'll talk to Micha. I'll let him know that we need this cure as fast as possible. We've got this, Sasuke."

###

"I am going home," Kaeru informed Kakashi at 7pm, "my sister is behaving strangely these days. I think she needs me."

Does it have something to do with a certain foreign doctor? Kakashi almost asked, but he restrained himself because he had a hunch that Kaeru was not yet ready to accept that his sister was falling for another man.

It couldn't be more obvious though. The air around these two was electrified. It was fascinating to behold how two people fell in love like this, how obvious it was that the chemical processes happening in two separate bodies were inevitably drawing them together. All the better if it meant Micha would stay in Konoha beyond the tests. Kakashi truly liked the guy and there were so many things he wanted to talk to him about.

For example… that thing Micha had called guns.

They were not part of this world - but part of Micha's world. Who had brought them here and why? Kakashi looked at the bullet Micha had retrieved from his body - he kept it in a little bowl on his desk - this tiny piece of metal that had done so much damage. As soon as the Mizukage was fit enough to have a conversation, they needed to compare notes.

Kakashi worked through today's complaint pile at considerable speed, sorting the letters into more or less urgent problems, assigning follow ups to himself, Shizune, Kaeru and others. It had become a fixed part of his evenings and the faster he could get through the piles, the more time he had to think about other things afterwards.

A quick glance out of the window at 8pm showed him that there was more snowfall, large flakes drifting down slowly outside in the dark. Would it ever stop? Konoha had never gotten this much snow before. A few of the roofs were in danger of collapsing, he made a note to assign people to clear them.

"Kakashi-sama," Shizune poked her head in, "I will be leaving for today?"

"I told you to always leave at 6pm," Kakashi frowned at her. "What will I do if you fall ill because you're overworked?"

"I had a few things to catch up on," she said, "some work just needs to be done."

"Be careful when you walk home," he warned, "there might be ice."

She didn't budge.

"Yes, Shizune?"

"You must eat something," Shizune said. "Sakura will rip my head off if I don't remind you and yours if you do not do it."

Sakura… Kakashi pressed his lips together angrily. Meddler.

"She says you promised."

That he did remember.

"Yes," he grumbled, "I will eat something."

Shizune had started to put food into his fridge. And since he felt very bad if it went off, he had started preparing simple meals for himself late at night. He had noticed that this new habit coincided with Sakura's return. The woman with no respect was a very proficient arm twister too.

He was almost done with the complaints about forty minutes later when there was a small sound outside. His body went rigid. Shizune had left the door ajar - and someone was sneaking around in the corridor.

"Who's there?" he asked sharply, his hand slowly opening a drawer and closing around a kunai.

There was some rustling and then a head became visible at the door.

"Sarada?" he exclaimed, dropping the weapon, "what are you doing here?"

"Auntie Sakura said I could come to you when there's nobody else," the girl said timidly.

"... to… me? Why? What happened?"

Alarmed, Kakashi looked the child over, but she seemed to be in one piece as far as he could see though she was bundled up in a cloak with a gigantic hood. Had she managed to get past the Anbu guards unseen? Smart cookie.

"She had to do an operation," Sarada said solemnly and came a little closer. "It's taking many hours so I thought…"

"You were at the hospital?"

Sarada nodded.

"Did your daddy bring you there?"

Maybe Sasuke had finally listened to him for once and had gone to the hospital to talk to Sakura about their common custody of Sarada? But Sarada shook her head.

"No, Sasuke-san is not at home."

Kakashi frowned. Why not? What was going on?

"And your mother…?"

"Not there," Sarada explained a little tearfully, "the door was locked. Iruka Sensei wasn't at home either so I went to Auntie Sakura, who said I could stay, but she was very busy."

"You're saying that your mother…," Kakashi began angrily but when he saw the fear in Sarada's eyes, he tempered his voice. "Don't worry. Nothing bad will happen to your mommy. Is she supposed to watch you today?"

Sarada nodded.

"Do you want me to help search for her? I'm sure she isn't far." She's not allowed to leave the village. Ibiki had even put a tracker on her.

Sarada nodded again.

"Alright," Kakashi smiled, "let's go on a nice evening stroll in the snow. Have you had something to eat?"

"Candy," Sarada said.

"That's hardly something to eat."

"I had a lot," Sarada assured him. "The nurses gave me a whole bag!"

While he put on his coat, Sarada told him with whom her mother might be, which confirmed Kakashi's suspicion that this was not the first time Karin went awol. He headed for the medical labs that Kabuto was in charge of. It happened to be where Nurun was living - not exactly a cozy place, but he had claimed he liked bunkers, they made him feel safe. The labs were on the outskirts of Konoha, not far from the orphanage, attached to the underground facilities Danzo had once used for his experiments and for training his Root recruits.

Not a place Kakashi liked to go to. It held very dark memories.

On the way there he asked Sarada about the Academy and how the preparations for the Chunin exams were going.

"Would you like to try?" he asked her.

"Uncle Kakashi!" Sarada said big-eyed, "I'm not even a Genin yet!"

"Ah," Kakashi mused, "true, true. I was Genin at your age but I guess there's no need to rush things these days."

"Father says he will show me Shurikenjutsu as soon as the weather turns better."

"Has he ever told you of your late uncle Itachi? He was a true master of that."

"No," Sarada said. "He doesn't like to speak."

Kakashi chuckled. "Sometimes, he does. About you, for example. Ask him about Itachi. He loved him very dearly."

They reached the entrance to the labs. The outside lights were switched off, but Kakashi checked the remnants of footprints in the fresh snow by bending down low, quickly establishing that more people had gone in than had come out.

As soon as Kakashi had turned the five-pronged wheel to open the thick metal door, it became clear what Karin was preoccupied with this evening.

"Is mommy in pain?" Sakura asked, her eyes large with shock.

"No," Kakashi gritted his teeth, ushering her inside into the warmth, "can you please wait here? I will get her. Cover your ears. Don't budge."

Did they have no shame? The rhythmic grunting and moaning echoed so loudly in the underground facilities his ears began to ring. A glance into the chamber where the noise originated revealed Karin strapped to an examination chair with black leather bonds, Nurun pistoning in and out her, his head a deep color of red as he bit her arm very hard.

Despite a certain reputation built up through his avid consumption of Icha Icha, Kakashi wasn't much interested in porn - which included watching other people have sex or having to smell the kind of sex pheromones saturating the air here. He gagged. They must have been at it for quite some time already.

"I'm sorry," he said loud enough to be heard, "but could you please stop this? I need a word."

The effect was instantaneous as intended. Both of them froze, and he waved at them briefly before stepping outside to give them some privacy while they got some clothes on.

"You should have let us finish!" Karin slurred at him a short time later, her eyes unfocused and jittery - which made him notice her unnaturally enlarged pupils.

"What are you on?" he asked with a frown.

"I'm a doctor!" Nurun mumbled. "I know what to prescribe!"

"You don't say," Kakashi snapped. "So you thought you get high and play doctor for a bit? Isn't she supposed to be your patient?"

Both of them weren't in full possession of their senses, he quickly realized, they swayed dangerously on their feet and could not concentrate at all on giving him answers. Nurun was sweating waterfalls and his eyes darted from side to side whereas Karin looked to the ceiling as if there was something very interesting happening there.

"You forgot that you're supposed to watch Sarada tonight?" he asked Karin, who wrinkled her forehead hard.

"Sarada… Sarada…"

"Your daughter," Kakashi reminded her coldly.

"Sasuke is taking care of her," Karin assured him, "oh Sasuke… Sasuke…"

"Stop talking about him," Nurun hissed.

"But I love him," Karin pouted.

"You come see me tomorrow," Kakashi told Nurun unnerved, "will you remember? But wait until you're sober and please take a shower. And you…," he fumed at Karin, "you come to the entrance right now and apologize to your daughter."

###

"I'll take you back to the hospital," Kakashi said to Sarada after slamming the heavy lab door shut, feeling an ache in his heart for her at the memory of a loneliness he himself had had no name for back when he had been around her age, after being abandoned by the person who was his everything.

It had been his glorious idea to bring Karin back to the village, and he felt responsible for Sarada's situation because of it. He had thought he had helped all of them, that Sarada would have an opportunity to grow up with both parents, a semblance of normalcy.

"I'm going to look for your dad. It's quite late."

Where might Sasuke have gone? It wasn't the night to disappear, after telling him about his new memory loss and his rage issues… Kakashi was worried. Normalcy? There was no such thing in Konoha, was there.

"Can I stay with you and Auntie Sakura for good?" Sarada asked.

Kakashi sighed deeply. "We're… we're not together. No."

"Why not?" Sakura pouted. "You promised I could. I want to."

"Your father would like you to live with him and Sakura, who is his wife," Kakashi explained, but… he sighed again. What a mess.

At the hospital, he brought Sarada to Sakura's on-call room. The bed was untouched, Sakura's things were stowed away neatly, but she was still in an operation, the nurses told him - so Kakashi suggested to Sarada that she should wash herself, brush her teeth with her fingers and then go to bed in her clothes.

"Can you tell me a story?" Sarada asked when she had climbed into the narrow bed, carefully putting her glasses to the side against the wall. "A ghost story?"

He certainly could. He sat down on the side of the bed and chose the Legend of the Jorogumo - but Sarada was already sound asleep mere thirty seconds into story. She held his hand tightly and he didn't dare move because he didn't want to wake her.

Tired as he always was, he must have nodded off sitting on the bed like this because he got a major shock when the door burst open and Sakura stormed in.

On her face, there were the fading grey marks of the Strength of a Hundred Seal. It made her look fierce and feral, but also unearthly beautiful.

He blinked and sat up straight, remembering to breathe, then remembering they were not getting along so great right now, but unable to muster any ire.

"What are you doing here?" she looked surprised.

Rather than radiating anger herself like all the times they had interacted this week, she sounded tired and spoke quietly. She stepped towards the bed to look down on Sarada's sleeping face.

"Is she alright?" she asked, tenderly touching the girl's hair.

"No," Kakashi said just as quietly. "She's not alright. She came to the Tower. Her own mother keeps forgetting about her."

Sakura looked miserable and her hand began to shake. From her facial expression, he could guess she knew what he was talking about.

"You knew - and you didn't think it necessary to tell me about this problem?" he asked sharply and disengaged his hand from Sarada's.

"I tried," Sakura snapped at him, her green eyes flashing. "But it's not exactly easy to talk to you these days."

"Ah," he snorted, "right. Because I'm immature."

"Exactly," she said, sounding tired again. "Come to my office. I'll give you the notebook."

"I said I don't want it!" he bristled.

"I don't want it either and it's yours," she said simply and went to the door.

He followed her up the stairs just like a few days ago - only a very immature person wouldn't have - working up a bit of anger at her attitude but mainly noticing her jerky movements, how she stumbled a few times and had to catch her balance by grasping the rails. Exhaustion. Why had she needed to release the Strength of a Hundred Seal?

"A difficult operation?" he ventured to find out.

"Yes," she simply said, "very."

Sakura's office was a huge mess, with papers everywhere… he remembered the first few weeks after becoming Hokage mainly for how overwhelmed he had been with everything. Maybe he could give her a few tips about how to organize paperwork and office processes? One day.

She went around her desk, disappeared from view as she knelt down, opened a drawer and stood back up, holding his notebook in her hand. She was avoiding to look at him directly.

"I tried to apologize before, but you don't want to accept my apology. I can live with that. I know I shouldn't have taken it, it was very low of me... You don't need to forgive me. But can we please, please work together like we need to? It's not necessary to like each other to be good colleagues."

"I'll… try," he grumbled. But when he tried to remember what he was so angry about, he couldn't quite work it out anymore. The notebook was just an excuse of course. Was he… hurt? Because she hadn't chosen him? Because she had left. He felt… abandoned…?

She came around the desk and held the notebook towards him, still avoiding his eyes.

"Can you… can you stop being angry with me, please," she said in a small voice. "I have a hard time…"

He snorted. She had a hard time? Now her eyes shot up and she frowned at him.

"Is this funny to you? Is it? I'm just too exhausted. All I want to do is sleep, sleep, sleep for a week or more. How do you do it? How do you keep going, day after day? Where do you get the strength? The determination? The energy to fight with me, every damn day? I'm not cut out for this, I'm too weak, I'm too..."

Her voice broke and the next second, her knees buckled. His hands shot up to catch her elbows and she fell forward, closing her arms around him instinctively, her face planted against his chest.

"I'm sorry. I need… please… just hold me for a second."

She tightened her arms around him.

"Just pretend this isn't happening," she whispered and her shoulders began to shake.

Feeling stunned and before he could make up his mind whether it was okay to put his own arms around her too, it was already over and she brought the proper distance between their bodies, furtively drying her eyes.

"Sorry," she said again, her face red. "It won't happen again."

But he was wishing very much it would happen again. He didn't remember? Well, his body obviously did. It was sending very clear and strong signals to his foggy brain. It wanted more.

"Rin…, Rin's also still here," Sakura said in a brittle voice, "once again it was her who saved a patient. When she joined we could… we saved him and…"

New tears filled her eyes.

"Why, is she having a crisis on the toilet again?" Kakashi asked with a sigh.

"No," Sakura shook her head, "not this time."

"Then I don't need to go," Kakashi said.

Sakura sniffled and frowned and turned red again, obviously not quite knowing where to look. She was … so beautiful, so vulnerable, so… damn desirable...he groaned.

"This is driving me insane," Kakashi said, moving his finger from himself to her and back. "Whatever this is. It doesn't work."

"You're right, it doesn't," Sakura agreed, her voice shaking.

If something is not working, fix it. His own great advice to Sasuke.

"Do you… do you want to pretend that this isn't happening a little longer?" he asked breathlessly.

"Yes," she said with a sob, "oh please, yes."

She stumbled into his outstretched arms and this time, he tightened them around her with all the longing he had and all the comfort he could give, feeling her warmth against him, burying his face again her hair, breathing in her scent greedily - and remembering that this was what happiness felt like.

It was that easy.