Once in his tower, he pocketed the memory potion he'd fixed for himself and then located paper and a quill sitting at one of his desks. Without losing a beat, he dipped the quill into his ink and began to write a letter to himself. He wasn't very good at it. Some of the previous Dark Ones kept meticulous records in the Chronicles, using them as diaries, but he used his more like notebooks or cookbooks, putting down spells and curses, enchantments and potions, but never letters or details or even stories regarding himself. It felt awkward to write himself a letter, but he'd decided it was the only thing he could do.

Writing it all down was more difficult than he knew when he'd first come up with this idea. For a long while, he stared at the paper, unsure about how to begin a letter to oneself. Or…was it simply that he really just didn't want to do what he was about to do. That thought was enough to make him stop wasting time. It was a reminder of why he had to do it.

Rumpelstiltskin, if you've done your job right, your memories of the last few days are gone. Do not try to get them back; do not attempt to remember. You have taken them away for a reason, and not even that reason should be known to you. The following are a list of things you'll need to know regarding your missing memories.

1) The downstairs will need to be cleaned up. You moved the couch and the table downstairs for Belle.

2) Regina will likely be angry the next time you see her. If she doesn't already know that Snow White has eluded her capture, and in this case, her execution, again, she will soon enough.

3) Snow White and Prince Charming have met and are well on their way to True Love. They'll need watching for a time to make sure everything goes as it should, but for now, the time is coming nearer for the Swan to be born and the Curse to be cast. You are one step closer to your son.

His son…

If he only had a few hours, maybe a few precious days if it took the Swan a long while, then he wanted to bask in that knowledge. He wanted to languish in the feeling of certainty while he still had it. He was going to see his son again. And that should have been all he needed. It should have been all he wanted, but…he wanted more! Just knowing he was going to see him wasn't enough! He wanted to know it all! How would they meet? Where? What happened to him? Who was the dark-haired man? Where had he been all this time? What had he been doing? Where did he like to go? What were they going to do now? Now? Then? In the future?

Suddenly his heart leaped up into his throat, and he felt nervous in a way he hadn't before. His entire life had been leading up to that moment, the moment he reconnected with Baelfire. But what happened after that moment passed? The last time he'd seen his son hadn't been a happy memory for either of them. What would their reunion be like? Would Baelfire even want to know him? Would he run away from him? Would he embrace him? Would he forgive him? Now that was the question, wasn't it?

Would he be willing, after everything that had happened, to forgive him?

He didn't know where his son had been, if time moved the same as here in this new land, but he knew that the boy was still going to be alive. There was the potential then that he'd felt every last year apart just the same as he had, with no hope of ever seeing him again. Would he want to? Suddenly he remembered the Swan's hesitation when he'd asked her if he'd ever see him again. It was a quick "yes" and nothing more, a glance at the ground, swiftly away from him. Had she been afraid of him? Or was she hiding something, something he might not want to know? It was difficult to think about when he wasn't so focused on whether or not it would actually happen. Perhaps in these moments, when he knew it would, was why it had come to light now. Just like why he'd allowed himself to enjoy the pleasure of Belle's company today. Knowing, in a way, made it easier. But the decision not to know, to not go forward…he tried to shake his head free from thoughts of Belle and of Baelfire but found it to be quite impossible. They were both there, planted firmly in his mind, a reminder of why the little bottle in his pocket was necessary. And more importantly, a reminder as to why the letter in his hand was just as necessary.

He swallowed, then looked down at the paper before him. With a sigh, he dipped his quill in the ink. It hovered over the paper again as his hand shook slightly. He knew what he needed to do. He knew it. Instructing himself to send Belle away was going to be best for everyone involved. It would keep her safe from him. He just needed the courage to write the damn words! He clenched his teeth together so hard they might crack, then bent to the table.

4) Concerning Belle, you must immediately-

Magic.

Before he could finish the sentence, he felt magic overwhelm him. It was here on the property! Powerful magic that certainly wasn't Dark but also wasn't pure Light either. Someone of Light using Dark Magic…a dark wand. Already? This soon?!

His heart raced as he strode over to his mirror and opened up a reflection to the Room-With-No-Doors. The Swan's back was to him, Hook was nearly blocked by her body, facing her as she spoke. In her hand, the wand was white.

"Neal was right," Emma muttered.

"About what?" Jones asked, pushing her, pressing her to explore whatever it was this Neal had told her and had her so choked up that her magic was working.

"You don't have a home until you just miss it. Being with my parents the last few days, but not really being with them? I've never missed them more. Storybrooke. That's my home." Storybrooke. That name. He'd heard it in a vision, the original and the one he'd had just before he brought them here, as a matter of fact, he just didn't know that was where they were going to end up until now. And if she continued down this path, the wand glowing as it was, he wouldn't know again until they got there.

"What?" the Savior asked as Killian gave her a smile. He could place it now, that look that he gave her, the one he'd seen before. He'd seen it on the look of Charming at one point or another this week. He'd seen it in his own mirror not long ago when he'd beheld Belle. The fool loved her.

"Look down," Hook answered. The Swan followed instructions and looked down at the wand in her hand, beaming away and growing stronger by the second. "I'd say you've got your magic back. Now, shall we go?"

Without hesitation, the pair sidestepped one another. He moved out of her way and she moved out of his. He watched as she held the wand in her hand for what seemed like forever, long enough for him to look over at the letter on his desk, the one that was unfinished. He hadn't told himself that he had to send Belle away yet! He hadn't had the chance before she'd figured her magic out!

Suddenly there was a noise in front of him calling his attention back to the mirror. She'd done it. A vortex had opened red and yellow and orange swirling in the air, offering them a chance at escape, back to the world that held his son! He couldn't jump through it, he knew he couldn't, if he did it would never work, because that would mean he wasn't here to give Regina the Curse and then the world he ended up in wasn't a world that would hold his son it wasn't even one that would hold him! But he had to know…would she see Baelfire when she returned? A forgiving Baelfire? Could she tell him of this day?! Or was he gone forever? Moved away with no wish to see him? Was he doing all this for one moment of rejection? Or a lifetime of happiness?

"Yup!" Hook groaned, hauling the girl into his arms. "Well done, Swan," he muttered before walking through and losing his footing. He was gone just like that. And his answer…the letter wasn't done…but in a moment his answers would be too!

He could finish it when he had his answers!

As Emma took a step, he allowed himself to enter into the chamber. "You opened it!" he muttered. The girl stumbled, glancing back at him and giving him the opportunity to grab her hand before she could go through. "Wait."

"Let me go!"

"My son, what happens when I find him?"

"I thought you wanted to forget?" she cried, tearing at his grip, trying to get away. Her desperation was warranted. He knew that portal wouldn't stay open forever.

"Before I do, I need to know. Does he forgive me?"

"Yes!" she answered, her eyes darted away from him again. A truth shrouded in mystery. It wasn't his imagination; she was hiding something.

"Yes, but what? What aren't you telling me? Tell me, or you will never leave!"

"He dies!"

He felt the grip his hand had on the girl slip slightly as his body went numb. He couldn't feel his arms or his legs, couldn't understand how he was still standing. He felt dizzy, like the floor had just dropped out of the room and he was suspended in mid-air. No, he hadn't heard what he'd just heard. It wasn't true!

"He forgives you. He loved you. He died to save all of us. Don't let it be in vain."

"No," he begged. He was doing this for a lifetime with his son, not for a few measly moments before he died! He needed to know how! Was it disease? He'd make a cure! Was it murder? He'd kill his murderer first! Even if he had to go to Neverland and strangle Pan with his own bare hands! Whatever she said, he'd fix it! He'd toss this potion away and save him! They'd fixed her mistake, why not save his boy?!

"I can change what happened. I can save my boy."

"You think you can change the future, but you might make it worse. I loved him, too," she cried, her eyes unwavering despite the tears in them. "I wanted to save him. He died a hero. You can't take that away from him! You have to drink the potion. You have to forget everything I just told you."

Forget everything she'd just told him. How could he do that? How could he take this information and just shove it aside when he had the opportunity to change…

To change...

Just like Bae always wanted him to do. Being a hero was all his son ever wanted, he'd have gone off and died in the ogre wars if he let him, he'd have tracked down the Grendel. He'd have pulled him through that portal and gotten them through whatever came. The girl loved him, and she'd let him go because he died a hero. It was what was important to Bae. But Bae was what was important to him. Let his son live for him or let his son die a hero…he hated being faced with such a decision.

But…her warning was true. If he tried to change anything he was going to do, he might make things worse, he might change something else. He might risk his chance of ever seeing him. Could he risk Baelfire living a long life without ever seeing him again, without ever hearing him say he was sorry he hadn't gone with him? Or confess his regrets, let his son die with peace between them. Happy short life or unknown long life?

These last few days, knowing that he'd see his son again had him in a good mood. Hearing what he just heard…he couldn't wait to go back to living on hope alone. His letter wasn't finished, and he was okay with that. If he didn't drink the potion now, then he knew he might not ever. And at the moment, all he found he wanted was Belle's company, even if he knew he wouldn't.

He brought to his mind the image he had of his adult son, graying hair and all, and focused on it, then drank the potion down quickly.

As Baelfire began to fade from his memory, he gave the girl before him a small shove into the portal before he could forget to let her go. She cried out as the magic grabbed her, and she flew into it. A moment later the portal closed, and the noise was gone.

He tossed something out of his hand that hit the ground on a high note. It sounded like glass. There was a strange taste in his mouth, one of…of…the taste and the ingredients that made it were fading by the second.

Something winked on the ground before him. A wand? One of the wands he'd taken off the gypsy all those years ago? No, not just one of those wands, the wand. The different wand. He'd been keeping it in a different place than the others because it's magic was so different. But as he looked down at it for the first time in a long while, he felt a shiver creep down his back. Long ago, when he'd first stumbled upon the wand, he hadn't a clue who's magic it belonged to, now that he'd come face to face with that magic, he knew exactly who it belonged too.

The Black Fairy.

His mother's wand!

He knelt down to pick it up off the ground and suddenly felt aware of something that was wrong. The wand, it wasn't in a box, he'd picked it up off the ground…but…why was it on the ground and not in it's box? What was it doing out here?! On the ground?! In…

He glanced up and around. He was in the Room-With-No-Doors! He could have sworn a moment ago he'd been in his tower, thinking about the book that boy from Clopin's caravan had and David's journey to Midas' Castle. How had he gotten here? He never came into the Room-With-No-Doors, it was too dangerous! And why was his mother's wand out of its hiding place?! Why was it here? Better yet…why was he? Still here?! Confused and vulnerable in the most dangerous part of his castle?

"What the hell am I doing in here?"

This was one hard ass chapter to write. Simply put, there's not a lot you can do for it. This chapter is either meant to be confusing as hell, or put words to a feeling that no words can describe. The first half is confusing, it's meant to be confusing, it's meant to make you think that he's super conflicted, that he's not thinking straight, that he knows he shouldn't know about Bae, but can't help himself. He doesn't want to send Belle away, but he knows that he has to. Or at least he thinks he has to. And then you have the second half. There are no words to describe how a parent feels when their child dies. Nothing could ever adequately describe the moment the bottom drops out of your world. I could never write that well. Especially because Rumple is a smart man. He knows that while Bae will die, at this moment he has not died. It's a giant conflict. And then, of course, he has to forget everything...ah...all I can really say is that I tried. I tried really hard on this chapter, I just hope it's an okay result and rest in the knowledge that the best is yet to come.

Thank you very much Alarda, Jennifer Baratta, and Grace5231973 for your reviews on the last chapter. One more chapter to go and then I'm super excited for what's coming next! Peace and Happy Reading!