Drowning in Freedom
Chapter 14: Mist in the Willow
Emma Louise: You're welcome! I had some time and knew that all of you would be excited for something to read!
DaddysLiitleGirl: Because it is my job :) If you thought last chapter was bad... just wait until the end of this one!
eunoiapaint: I'm sorry! At least I am doing a good job as an author though! However, if you thought last chapter was bad... I have to warn you about this one :P
moonlight46: Thank you! I am glad that you liked all of the imagery. Heheheh and with Amaya, her fate is up in the air, will she or won't she? But thank you for wishing me a nice holiday season and I hope yours was good as well!
thebreezekneeze: I know I said this to you before but I just love your username lol. Anyway! Thank you for the wonderful holiday wishes and I hope you had a great season as well :) Thank you for the compliment and I hope you enjoy this next chapter!
phoenixx313: Hehehehehehe... Yeah... after this chapter... FIGHT SEQUENCE! But really though... I feel like all I do is make one chapter more depressing than the next... anyway, I am glad you liked the last chapter and I hope you like this update as well!
Amaya used both hands to push the boulder from the entrance of the storage unit that she was trying to locate in the great stone faces. Huffing the kunoichi took a moment to let her eyes adjust to the dark tunnel before she entered. She followed down the path, the area getting darker as she moved forward. The funny thing was, was that nothing seemed to have changed. Changed from the time she was an Anbu member that is. Granted, Amaya knew that Tsunade had a reason for storing her weapons in here. This vault was rarely touched, and it was a great place to store things that would get forgotten with age.
Not only that, but the kunoichi also realized that if the village was attacked and she wanted to help defend it while she was locked up, this honestly would have been one of the first places she would have checked. Especially since only those in the Anbu know where it is located, and the signs that needed to be wove in front of the boulder in order to move it out of the way. Finally, Amaya started to come towards the end of the tunnel and she waved her hand over one of the torches, it instantly lighting on fire.
The blue-haired woman never knew why the torch always did that, or why, especially in Konoha torches always seem to burn with an eternal flame. Maybe, it was as simple as that. Breathing in, Amaya knew that she didn't have time to wonder about the special things that went on and happened around her, she had an unspoken mission she had to get going on. If not, there may be tragic endings for some. As the end of the tunnel lit up with warm, dim light, Amaya found exactly what she was looking for.
Her mist blade had been collecting dust, but it stood propped up on the wall of the cave and next to that was her old, cracked Anbu mask. Reaching for the blade first, Amaya picked it up and tested its weight. She swung it a few times making sure her body's muscle memory remembered how to use the weapon. Then, she strapped it to her back knowing full well that she was going to have to use it soon. Turning, she held up her hand and was about to pick up her mask but hesitated in doing so. Instead, she let her fingers brush across the crack, a few memories resurfacing from all the time she hid her face behind it. Letting her emotions wash through her, and letting her brain flow through her old memories, she finally picked up the mask, but instead of putting it on right away she held it in her hand.
She let her hand that was holding the mask fall to her side as the kunoichi tilted her head to look up at the ceiling. A deep breath was inhaled, and Amaya slowly turned her head to the side, addressing the fact that she knew she wasn't alone anymore.
"Came to say goodbye?" Amaya said facetiously, taking in Kakashi's appearance.
Her former lover looked tired, and the three years seemed to have aged him to the point where he seemed older than what he was. Amaya knew that she saw him when she was with the Akatsuki, right outside the village hidden in the sand. But this was different. She finally had to chance to look at him, that weren't just quick stolen glances in the middle of a fight. He stood in front of the entrance, and light from the afternoon sun pooled around him, almost outlining his body with light. His chest heaved as if he ran here, to catch her just before she departed, but his face was contorted with a mix of emotions. The two stared at each other for a while, and that was when Amaya turned and walked towards Kakashi.
She stopped when she was a few paces away, knowing that she wanted to give the man some room, but if Kakashi decided to launch himself at her with an attack there was little room to dodge, and she would be forced to fight back given that she was already trapped in. On the other side of things however, Kakashi knew that this was his moment to get his answers to the million sets of questions that had bubbled up in his head ever since he saw the love of his life again. He wanted to know how she was doing, and among everything, he wanted to know why she left him in the first place. However, he did none of that. Instead of being the bigger person and taking his friend's advice, the only thing that came through was the rage Kakashi held for Amaya still, even after all this time.
"Once you become a traitor, you die as one," Kakashi spat, making an obvious gesture with his eyes as he looked Amaya up and down, noting the Akatsuki cloak.
Amaya stilled and held her breath. She wanted to respond, but she didn't know with what words. She wanted a quick quip to throw his way, but she knew something that Kakashi didn't. This would be the final time the two saw each other, and a purge of emotion would be good for the man in front of her. She knew he would be mad at her and that this conversation was eventually going to happen. She just didn't foresee it happening now. However, before she left, at least she could give Kakashi once last thing—the ability to let her finally go. Amaya knew that whatever she said, Kakashi was going to turn it around and try to make a fight for it, so keeping her voice as even and unthreatening as she could, she spoke.
"Tsunade-sama has a special mission for me and I would like you to move so I can be on my way."
Kakashi scratched the back of his neck and let out a forced breath of air, as if he was forcing himself to laugh at the situation at hand.
"Tsunade is crazy if she expects you to be loyal and go on a mission for her."
"It's not a standard mission and needs someone of—"
"What? Your expertise?"
"Not what I was going to say, but for simplicity purposes, yes."
"Wow…" Kakashi shook his head and instead of responding with words, Amaya tilted her head to the side, not understanding what Kakashi was getting at.
"I can't believe that you think… that you think three years changed how strong you are? You act like you are stronger and better than the rest of us…"
"I am not saying that I—"
"You are weak, Amaya, and you know it. I still remember our first mission together in the land of snow… and you needed my help then. I can't possibly fathom how much of a burden you are to work with now… I almost feel bad for Itachi and Kisame."
Amaya could feel her mouth start to turn dry with his comments, but still, she held her tongue, knowing that Kakashi had finally made up his mind about her. He wanted to let her go. He wanted to move on, and she would help him with that. She knew that he wouldn't ask her any questions about what happened, his rage for her was too great, but that was okay, she could handle it. It was what she expected anyway.
"If it makes you feel any better, I have a feeling that it is going to turn into a rescue mission…"
"No, that doesn't make me feel any better. No one in their right mind would want you of all people to rescue them. It would be a slap to the face. An insult."
"Then what does that say about you? Because I rescued both you and Naruto from Deidara's explosion and blast radius."
"I never asked you to do that, and I was fully committed to putting you down on the spot like a dog with rabies."
"At least me going on this mission, they may not like it if I save them, but they can at least live to fight another day. That in my opinion, is well worth it."
"Again, with the all high and mighty attitude looking down on us—"
"It's hard to look down… especially on you because you're taller," Amaya said straight out, not being able to hold her tongue any longer.
Kakashi clenched his fists tight so his knuckles became white and without thinking about it, closed the distance between Amaya and himself, breaking into Amaya's personal space. Their chests were almost touching and if it was any other situation, one would say that the sexual tension between the two could be cut with a knife. But this wasn't the same thing, and both were trying to get across complicated emotions while neither being good at explaining them. Amaya locked eyes with Kakashi, and the white-haired man saw something flash in Amaya's eyes. It was almost as if she looked at him with a sense of longing and hurt, her eyes giving her away even if her body posture was ridged. However, the look just made Kakashi even angrier, thinking that Amaya had no right to feel such things. Again, like before, without thinking, Kakashi unfurled his hand and went to slap Amaya.
Amaya winced and turned her head slightly to the side anticipating the blow, but it never came. Kakashi just held his hand up close to her face, ready to strike her, but he never did. His held back the power of the strike and his arm started to shake with emotion in which the kunoichi couldn't help but notice. She wanted to reach out for him, to ask him what this all really was about, to change this topic of conversation, but like Kakashi, she lost her chance to do so when she spoke.
"Hit me. Hit me, I know you want to! You think that hitting a girl, hitting someone is going to make you feel better? Huh? Like you are some big strong man that can control everything and everyone around him? Newsflash for you, but shit happens!" Amaya started to tell, getting in Kakashi's face.
Instead of smacking her like Amaya wanted, Kakashi shifted his hand to shove Amaya back away from him. Instead of taking the shove lightly, Amaya dropped her mask and shoved Kakashi back with both of her hands, making the man take a step backwards.
"Come on, do it! Do it! It will make you feel better, just do it!" Amaya screamed at him, trying to challenge Kakashi.
Amaya pounded her fists on his chest and Kakashi caught her wrists easily in his hands. She stopped quickly and yanked her wrists out of his hands, not wanting to feel like she had restraints on again.
"You're not worth it. You're just not worth my time," Kakashi said trying to keep his anger in check, even though Amaya was losing her composure.
"And you call me weak… You don't have the guts to do it… You don't have the guts now to do it… you never had the guts to act on your emotions… and even when you threaten it… you have yet to follow through with it…"
"With what?"
"Killing me. You have never had enough guts to kill me when you could of…"
"I don't like taking cheap shots on someone who is easy to kill."
"At least I came close to it… You missed me entirely… You could have easily stopped me that night from leaving… Just like I stopped you from following… But you didn't. You couldn't, just as you can't now."
That was the last straw for Kakashi. He came into this conversation filled with rage, and little by little, the red, scorching anger filtered out of him, but with Amaya's antagonizing words, the dam inside of him broke.
"If I really wanted to kill you then I would make sure I didn't miss!" Kakashi yelled in Amaya's face, gabbing her arm and yanking her forward so her chest was against his.
Amaya looked away and tried to take a deep breath, but the back of her eyes started to sting. She wasn't going to cry here, especially not in front of him.
"I was trying to protect you. I—"
"That is complete bullshit and you know it Amaya! You could have let me help you but you always insist on doing everything yourself!"
"There was no other option, I had to do it, I had to go… I—"
"I don't believe you in the slightest."
"It was leave and do what he wanted or…"
"Or what? They kill me? Kill your friends?" Kakashi huffed out, shaking Amaya a little with each word.
Amaya closed her mouth and refused to answer to the question, but she knew that the answer showed on her face. She could see Kakashi hesitate a moment, finding the answer he was looking for, for confirmation. The kunoichi thought that this may be another one of those moments where one of them could have been the bigger person, but the slight understanding that was on Kakashi's face slowly passed and the rage he held inside resurfaced.
"You're the reason why we didn't last… you tore our whole future wide open… and for that Amaya, you are selfish… I realize now that my trust in you was more than what you had in me. I mean, you couldn't even trust me enough to help you when someone, I'm assuming Danzo, threatened you to the point where you became a rogue nin… And for that Amaya… I hate you, I hate you so much. But all this time… I always wondered… what it would be like to see you again, and even though I hate you, I hate myself even more… because I still love you even after all the shit you put me and this village through."
Amaya held her tongue. This was the shift she was waiting for, but as Kakashi put, she was selfish. She wanted to cry and throw a tantrum. Break down and be held in Kakashi's arms and explain all of her problems to him and explain in detail what happened. Nevertheless, Amaya took the selfish road, even though all she really wanted was to tell Kakashi that she still loved him too. That maybe after they worked through their issues, they could be together again. But, she wasn't that naïve.
"You're not so open yourself. Hey pot, I'm kettle," Amaya said, ignoring Kakashi's sentimental words to her.
"You never had to pry information out of me like I have you!"
Amaya matched Kakashi's tone and yelled at him as well, "I never had to pry because I respected your boundaries, Always!"
"Was that the reason why you left a hole in my chest and left me to bleed out on the forest floor because you respected my boundaries!?"
"What the hell—"
"I gave up everything for you Amaya! All you had to do was ask for help… hell, even if you asked me to leave with you… I probably would have! The future that I wanted with you… It was all ripped away the moment that you left!"
"And you don't think I feel the same way? You don't think me being separated from you was hard? Living with the guilt that I almost killed you… for what? For the village? Being away from you was—is—unbearable. I still love—"
"Don't you dare say that to me…" Kakashi cut off Amaya's words and Amaya realized just what she was about to say to the man.
"You have no right to tell those words to me… When you left me… it felt like you repeatedly stabbed me a thousand times… and the it repeated every, single, day. I am the one who is trying to recover from the wound you made, the one you cut wide open in my chest, but everyone seems to see something I don't. Everyone wanted to still believe in you, say that you have your reasons for leaving, but… I was the one bleeding out, literally when you left., and now, it still feels like I am!"
"I'm sorry Kakashi, I really am sorry—"
"Heh, now you say it? Sorry doesn't cut it anymore this—"
"I'm sorry because you are correct about everything. Danzo forced my hand and I just… I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. I thought it was better to leave and hurt you then be the cause of your and everyone I love, their untimely deaths."
"It is a little too late to tell me all of this now! I could have helped you, I would have helped you if you had just given me the chance to!"
"I couldn't let you do that…"
"Why because you were afraid? More afraid of what could have happened than—"
"Yes! I was, I still am afraid of what Danzo may do to you if I don't comply."
"With hell to that logic! We could have gotten though it together!"
"No, we wouldn't have! You don't know what Danzo really is like, Kakashi. You don't, you really don't. You have no idea how cruel he can be!"
"He tried to recruit me once, and with all the stories about your childhood, it paints a good picture of the man's morals."
Amaya scoffed, "You have no honest clue what he is capable of. Those are just stories and you never witnessed it firsthand. Danzo wouldn't hesitate to kill you and everyone I love. Then, I would be the once forced to go on living in a world knowing I was the cause of everyone's death."
"No that isn't it…"
"What do you mean?" Amaya questioned, noticing the quiet shift Kakashi took.
"You didn't leave because you were afraid of a threat someone made, you left because you were afraid of investing yourself into a relationship that may not have worked out and getting your heart broken. So instead of seeing what the future held, you decided to break my heart instead of your own."
"That isn't the case Kakashi. I wanted to have a life with you where we grew old together—"
"Amaya, just stop this. Stop this insanity, I'm done with this conversation."
"Kakashi, I—"
"No, I can't do this anymore, Amaya. I'm done. I can't stand here trying to reason why you didn't ask me for help, or trust me enough, or why you thought you had to deal with this on your own. I know I am alive, but I need to move on. After almost three years of mourning for the loss of our relationship, I need to stop walking around Konoha like a corpse with his heart ripped out of his chest."
"Kakashi, please… please—"
"Save it. Save it for someone who still cares about you Amaya."
Amaya swallowed hard, her throat constricted making it hard for the fluid to go down. Tears built up in her eyes, blurring her vision as she gritted her teeth as they threated to spill out of the corners of her eyes. She tried to breath but every breath seemed like it was labor intensive and each pump her heart made, she could feel her blood rush through her veins.
"My last question is, why the hell are you going on this mission when you were the one to leave Konoha in the first place?"
Amaya looked Kakashi dead in the eye and clutched a hand to her heart, saying a quote back to the man who had invented it himself, "to know what is right and choose to ignore it, is the act of a coward."
Kakashi scoffed, not believing that Amaya was quoting him, he let her go, taking a step back from her.
"Only people with good morals followed those words, not ones who try and carve out their lover's heart."
With those words, Kakashi watched as the tears Amaya had been working so hard to keep from spilling out, trickled down her cheeks. He watched the water works, finally feeling some sort of finality since he knew that he hurt Amaya almost as much as she hurt him. Without wasting any more time on the kunoichi in front of him, he turned around and started to walk out of the cave, thrusting his hands in his pockets as he did so. Kakashi heard the sound of Amaya collapsing on the ground, her legs unable to support her any longer. He paused for a moment and then turned his head to catch the sight of Amaya crumpled on the ground.
"This is goodbye, Amaya. There is nothing more to us or for us after this. I can't keep doing this with you and going in the same circle of betrayal. I am done. Don't come back to Konoha after your mission, this isn't your home anymore."
With those final words, Kakashi left the entrance, and in turn, left Amaya on the dusty ground alone, with tears streaming down her face. Amaya didn't know what to expect from a conversation with Kakashi, but she wasn't expecting one like that. She sniffled and tried to get her tears to stop, but they just kept coming. She looked up at the ceiling and blinked a few times, clearing her eyes. She knew that her tears wouldn't stop for a while, but she had a job to do. Taking a deep breath, Amaya rose onto her feet again and gingerly put her mask on her face, shielding herself from the outside world.
She took shaky steps toward the cave's entrance and placed her hand on the side of it to catch her breath. Kakashi's words were final. Even if by some miracle she survived this mission and came out of it alive, Kakashi had a point. She didn't have a home here in Konoha anymore, so what was the point in trying to get out of this mission alive anyway? She had no more hope or will to fight for. Amaya licked her lips and then sprinted towards the trees, trying to clear her head before she went to face the people who would bring her life to an end.
Amaya heard screaming up ahead as she pushed chakra into her feet, ignoring the other Konoha nins that she caught up to. She figured that they had been called in as backup, and even though she traveled with them and they maintained their distance, they knew that she was here to help the shinobi up ahead. Amaya disregarded everything else as all she hoped for was that she was going to make it in time. She knew that if she didn't, she wouldn't be the only one going back to Konoha in a body bag. Granted, with the amount of money that was wanted for her head, she figured that she wouldn't be returning regardless. As the wind whipped by her, it pushed her hair back and when she came into the clearing, she saw who she was dreading on fighting.
The kunoichi took in the sight before her and noticed that Shikamaru looked shocked, almost as I he couldn't believe the sight in front of him. Amaya knew he wasn't looking at her and instead, at Asuma's lifeless body, the only thing separating sensei and student was the Akatsuki member Hiden. On the other side. Kakuzu held the other two nins in his grasp, making sure that they couldn't interfere with Hidan's religious work of sacrifice to the gods. However, when Hidan turned and raised his blade against Shikamaru, that was when Amaya's kickstarted herself back into action.
In an instant, the blue-haired woman was there, standing in front of Shikamaru, defending him with her own mist blade drawn and locked with Hidan's three speared scythe. Hidan's eyes widened with surprise but he didn't get a chance to say anything as Ino, Choji and the other Konoha nins arrive moments later under the cover of a mass number of crows, yelling for their fallen comrades among the enemies' confusion. Shikamaru didn't know what to think about the Akatsuki cloak in front of him and his heart almost stopped thinking that there was a third member they were going to have to deal with. However, with the long blue hair and the cracked Anbu mask, he knew exactly who stood in front of him. It was weird that she was protecting him, but he was thankful for it. He guessed that Amaya protecting Naruto and Kakashi wasn't just a fluke after all.
Shikamaru needed to get out of the situation and he needed to come up with an idea that all of his comrades could as well, but his head was still swimming with emotion after watching his sensei get stabbed through the abdomen and bled out right before his eyes. Shikamaru's mind was whirling, but a single turn of the head from Amaya, where her eyes met Shikamaru's, the thoughts started to make sense in his head, to the point where he was able to stumble up onto his feet, even if it was a shaky endeavor.
"It is about time you came out to play… I still haven't forgiven you for ripping off my arm the last time," Hidan started to manically laugh, thinking that his luck couldn't get any better than this.
Kakuzu on the other hand, sighed.
"You know if she is here going up against you, then she betrayed us, right?"
"I can't believe that you aren't as pissed off at this bitch as I am? She stole your bounty money!"
"I am, but I'll deal with her in my own way."
"I never trusted this bitch in the first place, Itachi and Kisame were crazy when they decided to take her under their wing," Hidan spat.
Hidan dislodged his scythe from Amaya's blade and backed away slightly, and Amaya flicked her wrist down, letting the tip of the blade rest on the ground as It also stood in the way between Hidan and Shikamaru. If he wanted to attack the younger shinobi behind the kunoichi, he would have to go through her first. Kakuzu came to stand by Hidan, both the pair and Amaya taking in their enemy. However, just as Amaya was sure they were going to spring into action, both of the Akatsuki members flinched, as if they were in pain.
"We are in the middle of something right now!" Hidan yelled at no one in particular.
"Hidan, you know we have to leave," Kakuzu stated.
"No! This bitch just came back boss. I can deal with her in twenty."
"I honestly don't care what we do but it would be nice to bring her in and get back the money she stole from me…"
That's when Amaya realized that they were having a conversation with the person who ran the Akatsuki, and if she wasn't getting the memo, she knew that she had been thrust out of the organization. Hidan and Kakuzu were being summoned for something, but at the sound of it, the boss may grant them privileges of dealing with Amaya first. As, the pair fought with their boss about trying to kill Amaya versus going back, Amaya heard Shikamaru speak up behind her.
"Thank you for saving my life… I just… I couldn't move."
"Don't mention it kid. But I would make my way up to where your friends are and take Asuma with you. You fought hard, now let me take a shot at these guys."
"Amaya-sensei, no offense but you aren't strong enough to take on these guys by yourself."
"The immortal pair? Eh, they aren't as great as they like to think."
"Amaya, I don't think—"
"Shikamaru, I was a part of the Akatsuki too at one point, like I am sure you figured out, we are all a little bit special. Get your information that you have on these guys to the Hokage, and live to fight another day."
Shikamaru hesitated, but nodded and thought that what Amaya was suggesting was a good plan, even though he didn't think one former kunoichi belonging to the organization would be enough to take down the pair. However, before Shikamaru took a step away, Amaya held something out to him. It looked like a simple piece of paper that was folded up. Shikamaru extended his hand and took it from Amaya who refused to let her eyes wander from the other Akatsuki members in front of her.
"What is this?"
"Do me a favor and give that to Kakashi, even if he refuses to accept it."
"If you don't mind me asking, why would Kakashi refuse a simple piece of paper?"
"It isn't a piece of paper, it's a photo."
Shikamaru nodded, and shoved the old, yellowed, crinkled photo in his pocket without unfolding it, knowing that it was only meant for Kakashi. The kunoichi took a few steps forward, getting closer to the Akatsuki pair, but they were still having a heated argument. She was surprised that the boss was arguing this long with them. Usually it was a done deal, the boss's way or no way. She was probably a leak in their system that they wanted to deal with before she flooded their whole organization and make it so they wouldn't be able to perform their acts of terror.
Amaya came to stand by Asuma, Shikamaru hesitantly next to her, picking up Asuma and slinging Asuma's arm over his shoulder. However, Asuma lifted a weak hand up and placed it on Shikamaru's stomach, making him stay so Asuma could say something to Amaya.
"I'm sorry I didn't get here fast enough," Amaya said, starting the conversation out.
"Heh, all is forgiven, especially if you are able to destroy these guys for me," Asuma started to wheeze, and eventually cough, spitting up blood.
Amaya looked away from her friend, and her grip tightened on the hilt of her blade.
"Don't say things you don't mean Asuma, just because this is probably going to be the last time we see each other."
"I'm not going to use my shortened breath to curse your name when you came here to help us."
Amaya couldn't help but let herself smile, even under the situation they were in.
"You're a good man, Asuma. You should be happy with the legacy you left behind."
Asuma smiled, knowing that Amaya was indirectly speaking about his unborn child.
"Thank you, Amaya."
With that, Shikamaru turned the two of them around, but Amaya caught the last of Asuma's words before Shikaramu met up with the other shinobi on top of the building's roof.
"You're good too, don't ever let anyone tell you differently."
Amaya rolled her shoulders back and focused all of her attention back to the issue at hand. The pair in front of her seemed to have worked out their differences, and they looked as if they were ready to fight. However, just as Kakuzu took a step outward, Amaya spoke.
"Let them go. My bounty is higher than Asuma's."
"I'm not letting you get in the way of two stolen bounties…"
"I'm not… I'm just worth more than those two combined, and you know that."
Hidan placed his scythe over his shoulders and smiled wickedly.
"Are we going to get this shit started or are you two just going to bitch about money all day?"
"I couldn't say it better myself, Hidan. I guess we are going to figure out who really is the better nin here."
"The immortal pair versus the faceless dragon of Konoha, this should be fun…" Hidan spoke licking his lips.
That was the last thing Shikamaru heard as the rest of the Konoha shinobi retreated for the trees. He knew that the others weren't a big fan of his plan to trust Amaya, but after what Asuma said, and after she protected him, she knew that she would be able to give the Akatsuki a taste of their own medicine. Looking back, Shikamaru never saw who took the first step, as a thick mist surrounded the battle field and dark clouds rolled in, making Amaya, Hidan, and Kakuzu disappear within it.
Everyone was solemn in the Hokage's office as Shikamaru finished briefing everyone in the room with what happened and stating simply that he would like the one to be the bearer of bad news when the news broke to Kurenai that Asuma had died, fighting a brave fight in the battle field. A moment or two passed before anything happened, and the thing that did, shocked almost everyone in the room. Tsunade bent down, and in frustration, whipped everything off of her desk with her hands, letting documents, books, and medical supplies crash loudly onto the floor. No one could blame her for acting the way that she was.
"Shikamaru, I should be the ne to tell Kurenai that Asuma has fallen, as Hokage—"
"With all due respect, Tsunade-sama, it is my responsibility to do it."
Tsunade nodded her head and told everyone in the room that they were dismissed. Naruto, Sakura, and everyone else started to turn to exit, about to pack to go on another mission. Hopefully this time to bring down Hidan and Kakuzu if Amaya hadn't already. Granted, no one in the room thought Amaya was coming back, especially with all the detail that Shikamaru was able to provide for them. No one wanted to say it, but they knew that Tsunade had sent out Amaya on a suicide mission in order to save the others. However, the only person who hadn't moved yet was Kakashi, a million things running through his mind, especially about the fight he had with Amaya. He had no idea that she was going to fight someone, no two people, who were strong enough to kill Asuma by herself.
However, without thinking, Kakashi feet turned him around and he wanted to exit the room like everyone else. Get some fresh air and clear his head before partaking on this mission to take down the Akatsuki who killed his friend. The worst part of it all, was that, he would never know what Asuma wanted from him that day. However, Kakashi felt a hand on his shoulder and turning around, he saw that Shikamaru was trying to hold him back in order to say something to him. Shikamaru took his hand from Kakashi's shoulder and used it to rummage through his pocket, pulling out the folded photograph. Shikamaru extended the small photo out by placing it in between his index and middle finger. Kakashi gave Shikamaru a weird look, not knowing what he was being presented with, but took the piece of what looked to be paper, from his fingers.
"Amaya wanted me to give this to you even if you didn't want it."
"I don't—"
"I don't care if you look at it or not, but my job is done here. After seeing what those guys could do and Amaya having the courage to fight them alone… I wouldn't be surprised that when we meet that pair again, they will be dragging Amaya's dead body behind them."
With that Shikamaru left the room. Kakashi looked up at Tsunade but she was looking out of the window. He turned and was about to let himself out of her office but paused when she spoke.
"That is probably the last thing Amaya will ever be able to give you. Before I let her get her weapons the two of us talked, and she was sure that this was going to be her last mission. Even knowing that, she still went, Kakashi. She still went because she loved this village, but more importantly, she went because she loved you."
Kakashi swallowed hard and let himself out of the office, his hand shaking as he turned the doorknob. The white-haired nin made his way outside, and shoved his hands in his pockets, looking up at the night sky above. There was so much that happened in one day that he couldn't believe it. Naruto mastered the jutsu he was working on, there was Tsuande's briefing, His fight with Amaya, Asuma's death, and now the high probability of Amaya's as well. Walking through Konoha, the street lights started coming on, illuminating the roads as he walked. Taking a deep breath, Kakashi saw some kids in a park being picked up by their parents, and the park's activity turned almost to zero.
Kakashi found himself turning and headed towards the park. He took the folded-up piece that Shikamaru had given him, and he wanted to head for the trashcan. Just throw the note away and never think about it again. However, something kept him from doing that and instead, he found himself sitting on a park bench out of the way from all the others. He let his hand hover over the crease and rubbed the material in between his fingers. He exhaled and opened what Shikamaru had given him.
This was not what Kakashi was expecting as he stared down at the picture he unfolded. It was faded and there were creases in it, but he remembered this moment as if it happened yesterday. It was the moment where he truly had started to fall in love with a certain blue-haired kunoichi. The nin felt his throat go dry and started to take deep breaths, as his heart rate picked up, taking in the image in front of him. Kakashi staretd at the photo for a while, and for whatever reason, before putting the photo back into his pocket, he decided to flip it over, and there in Amaya's scrawl, even if it was faded as if it was written a while ago, was a note.
Kakashi, the man that I love. The first person who believed in me and the first person who allowed me to believe in myself. The person who showed me that happiness can come from even the smallest and saddest of places. That hope can come out of darkness and to keep promises one makes to themselves. Most importantly, he taught me how to trust again. Kakashi, the man that I love, the man that I would do anything for, the man that I trust to always do the right thing, even when everything goes wrong, the man that I want to have a life and family with, and the man who is simply to me, Kakashi.
Kakashi read the words over and over again and then he slammed his fist backwards, striking the tree that provided shade for the bench on a sunny day. Pulling his fist back from the tree, bark came off and a nice indentation was left in the truck, but Kakashi didn't feel the affects the action had on his hand. This time Kakashi rose and placed the photo in his pocket, he turned and stepped towards the tree and away from the bench, punching at the truck repeatedly until his knuckled bled.
He had sent Amaya to her death with their fight. He pushed her over the edge. He had no idea that she had this with her and even after all this time the only thing she thought about was keeping him safe, making sure that whatever she had to do, she had a reminder why she was doing it. It was all for him. It always was for him. Kakashi regretted saying any of those things to her that he did. He wished that instead, he just pulled her into a hug and made sure that this time she didn't leave. But he didn't and no matter how much he wanted to, he could never change what was in the past. Kakashi stopped punching the tree and watched as the drops of blood fell to the ground from his knuckles.
Kakashi screamed into the clearing, giving a voice to his pain, and placed his forehead against the tree, letting himself cry. The words on the photo replayed in his head as if it was a record track or a ghost haunting him. Kakashi wiped at his eyes, but his pain and anger just kept manifesting in terms of tears. There was only one thing to do now—pray that he made it to Amaya in time, or he would never be able to apologize and tell her that he wanted her, that her home was still in Konoha, and most importantly, that he loved her.