Claudia Joy stood completely still and in shock. Of all the things Denise could have said to her that was not what she'd expected. She loved Denise very much and she always would, but she wasn't in love with her.
"Denise…I…I really don't know what to say," Claudia Joy finally said. "I love you, I do, but not the way you want me to. You're my best friend in the world and you always will be, but I can't give you what you want."
She could see her words were cutting through Denise like a knife and that hurt her worse than she ever could have imagined. The last thing she ever wanted to do was be the cause of Denise's pain. Claudia Joy had watched her best friend go through so much pain in so little time. She feared that this would destroy her.
"I understand Claudia Joy," Denise replied, inhaling deeply, and trying to hold back her emotions.
"Denise…" Claudia Joy trailed off, touching her friend's arm. "I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. Ever. I should go," Claudia Joy kissed her cheek as she always did when they parted ways, and she nearly ran from Denise's house.
Once she had reached the safety of her truck, she broke down in tears. She had never looked at anyone other than Michael in a romantic sense. Male or Female. She'd never considered the possibility of there being anyone else for her, except him. She and Denise had been best friends for a lot of years and together they had faced some of the scariest times of their lives together. Lately, she had kept her distance from Denise. In part, that was because of Michael and his need to keep up appearances as the Post Commander but, Claudia Joy wondered now if there wasn't some underlying reason for her sudden need to shy away from the one person she could always depend on.
After a good cry, she pulled out of Denise's driveway and drove home, trying her best to put it out of her mind. She touched up her makeup and walked inside as if nothing had happened. Michael smiled and kissed her cheek. "Hi Honey."
"Morning Michael," she said, sitting her purse down on the kitchen island. "Can I make you some eggs before you go to work?"
"No, I'm good. Where were you off to first thing this morning?" He asked, raising a brow at her.
"Denise needed some help," she answered. It wasn't a complete lie.
"Now Claudia Joy, what did I tell you about that? Stay away from that woman! She disgraced my friend and gave the Army a bad name."
Claudia Joy glared at him. She loved that man so fiercely, but sometimes he was so infuriating she could see herself ringing his neck. "Agree to disagree Michael. She's my friend and although, I don't agree with her actions I will not abandon her the way everyone else has. That is one thing you cannot make me do so let it go."
Michael stared her down, clearly gauging whether or not he should bring this to war, but he eventually backed down. "I don't want her in this house. Understand?"
Claudia Joy scoffed and handed him his coffee in his usual to-go cup. "Have a good day General Holden." She walked out of the kitchen without another word, doing everything in her power to hold her tongue.
She sat down on the front porch, looking out at the neighborhood kids as they rushed off to school and she thought of her daughter, Amanda. Denise had been the one to support Claudia Joy through the loss of Amanda and Denise had been the one to keep coming back for more even when Claudia Joy was being cruel.
Right about now is when Denise would normally walk up onto the porch and they'd sit and talk about all the plans for the next FRG meeting, or how Frank and Jeremy were doing on deployment, or Emmalin in her last few years of high school. Anything to keep their minds off all the real problems on their minds. That was what they did; Claudia Joy and Denise supported each other through thick and thin, good and bad, and now, Claudia Joy had let her down.
Throughout the rest of the day, Claudia Joy straightened up the house, attended to some Post business, and then joined the rest of her close group of friends at the Hump Bar. "Is Denise coming?" asked Roxy, the tiny little, loud mouth blonde, and the newest member of their group. Claudia Joy had known Denise, Roland, and Pamela for a long time, but Roxy had just fell right into sync with their group.
"I honestly don't know," said Claudia Joy. "I haven't talked to her."
Roland shrugged. "I can't say that I have either."
"A lot of people are against talking to her," said Roxy. "She screwed up big time."
"Hey now," Pamela chimed in. "C'mon now Rox, I think we can all agree that she made some mistakes, but Denise is still our friend. How do we just turn our backs on her?"
"We don't!" Claudia Joy snapped, sitting upright. "She needs us and as her friends we need to be there for her. She's going through a rough time, dealing with this deployment, the death of her friend. We are the ones that screwed up."
"Someone should go talk to her," said Pamela.
Immediately, Claudia Joy wanted to raise her hand, but she stopped herself. Denise wouldn't want to see her, not after she had shot Denise's romantic advances down flat this morning. She wished she could make Denise understand. It wasn't that Denise wasn't beautiful with her perfect body, her dazzling smile, and that cute little twinkle in her eye.
"I'll go," Roland said, snapping Claudia Joy out of her very disturbing thoughts.
"Um thanks Roland," she replied. "Give her our love."
"Will do," he answered and headed for his truck.
Claudia Joy smiled, looking from Roxy to Pamela, and then at her phone, resting on the bar beside her. Her fingers itched to text Denise after those disturbing thoughts. She couldn't get Denise out of her head and they were all very similar thoughts to the one she had just had. Finally, she grabbed her cell phone while Pamela and Roxy talked about god only knows what and she typed out a text message:
Denise, I'm so sorry for everything. I really want to see you. It's important. About your big confession this morning. Text back…please? Xxx CJ
Claudia Joy inhaled deeply as she put her phone in her pocket. Now, all she could do was wait and hope Denise would give her a second chance. She had to find a better way to explain the whole thing without ruining their friendship because no matter how much she loved Michael and the life they had built together, her friendship with Denise was one of the most important parts of her life. Despite Michael's instance, it was also one aspect of her life she wouldn't sacrifice for the good of Michael's career.
She sipped her beer and picked at her gumbo. She had no appetite because all she could picture was Denise sitting alone in her house, thinking, and probably crying because they had all left her out in the cold. Claudia Joy had literally slammed the door in her face. The Hump Bar's phone ringing, caught her off guard and once again snapped her out of her thoughts. The expression on Roxy's face going from bad to worse made Claudia Joy perk up and try to listen to what was going on.
"Oh no," Roxy muttered. "I'll close up shop and we'll head over there right now. Thanks for calling Roland."
"What's wrong?" Claudia Joy asked, becoming immediately worried. Roland was calling with some sort of bad news, but he was supposed to be visiting Denise. Her heart and mind raced with the possibilities of what could have happened.
"There's been an accident," said Roxy. "It's Denise and Roland said it wasn't good. We have to get down to Mercer, NOW!"
"Let's go! I'll drive!" Pamela cried out as she grabbed her keeps and started running for the door. The other two women were in toe and together the three of them rushed into the Emergency Room waiting area.
Claudia Joy finally ran past her friends and up to the nurse's station. "Denise Sherwood," she said. "What room is she in? I need to see her!"
"I'm sorry Mrs. Holden," said one of the nurses. "Mrs. Sherwood is still in surgery and I can't update you on her condition just yet."
"Can you tell me how bad it was?" Claudia Joy asked, grasping at straws.
The nurse's face fell, telling Claudia Joy all she needed to hear. "I'm sorry Mrs. Holden, I can't confirm anything, but I can tell you it doesn't look well for her."
"Thank you," said Claudia Joy. She could barely make it across to the benches where Pamela and Roxy sat, waiting for news about Denise.
It took hours for them to bring her out of surgery, leaving Claudia Joy beside herself and barely holding it together. She had broken Denise's heart and now she may never have the chance to make it right. Michael had called, telling her that he needed her home immediately. They fought because she told him, for the first time ever, no chance in hell.
"Doctor? How is she?" Claudia Joy asked, the moment she saw a long faced doctor walk through the double doors and into the waiting room.
"Mrs. Holden, I am going to be honest with you," he began. "I don't know if she's going to pull through this or not. Her injuries are extensive and she's going to be dealing with a lot if and when she wakes up."
"Can I see her?" Claudia Joy asked, trying to remain strong.
"You can go in one at a time," he answered.
Roland, Pamela, and Roxy smiled at her, letting her know it was okay to go first. She walked slowly into the room, struggling to hold in her tears as she looked at Denise hooked up to all sorts of machines. Her hand shook as she sat beside Denise's bed, and picked up her hand.
"Oh Denise," she said softly, reaching up and moving a piece of hair from her friend's face. "You've got to wake up. You can't leave me." She could feel the river of tears begin to flow down her cheeks and for once, she didn't care about appearances or how it would be perceived that the General's wife was standing over the bed of the Hester Prynne of Fort Marshall. "Open your eyes and come back to me Denise, I need you, damn it." Something inside her snapped, because looking at Denise in that moment, she realized why she had pushed her away recently. It had nothing to do with her choices being wrong, or disgracing Frank and the army. She rested her hand on Denise's cheek and leaned down closer to her. "Denise, you've got to wake up because… because I love you too."