Drowning in Freedom

Chapter 18: Find Me

A/N: I know this chapter is short... but I know you will all like it... or well, at least be emotional about it. So please, enjoy it as much as you can.

PrismRootStarlight: I am so happy that you like this story so much :) It always makes me happy to read that you like it. Yes, everyone is indeed getting really emotional with all their thoughts and feelings in terms of AMaya. I concur with Shikamaru being an amazing character. I always enjoyed him in the original series, especially since the whole time, he was the only one who ever treated Naruto as an equal, never shying away from him, and thinking he was an equal.

moonlight46: Thank you! Yep! She isn't! Which is good... or is it? Eh, the rain isn't anything much, just more scene setting then anything :P

phoenixx313: Thank you! ANd no worries, life gets in the way, I know all about that extremely well... Thank you! I really liked Kakuzu in the show/manga and wish he had more screen time so I guess that translated into this!

Lovett13: Thank you for the compliment, I appreciate it! And don't worry, the roller coaster of emotion has just dropped, we still have to zipp through the rest of the ride so stay tuned :)

Amaya bolted upright, her body jerking her awake. She had the strange inclination that she was falling. Falling fast. She thrashed about it, but it seemed to do nothing to slow her down. However, as she moved her limbs, they felt heavy, as if she was slicing through water. Opening her mouth to scream, Amaya didn't hear anything come out, and instead, she choked down some of the dark water. She wondered where Mizuchi was because he swore to hr that he would watch over her. Even though all she wanted to do was sleep. Now, it was a total one-eighty of emotion and she was wide awake.

Plunging deeper into the water, it almost felt like there were weights attached to her arms and legs. It was the only reason for why she was falling to the depths of this vast ocean she was in. None of this made sense. She didn't know where she was, nor how she got here. She vaguely remembered Mizuchi trying to keep her head above water, and before that, she remembered looking up at the sky… was this purgatory? That was the only thing she could think about. Granted it could be hell, but she had always been told that was filled with fire and evil. Where she was now, it was peaceful, quiet even, excluding the trying gasps her body made for air.

The kunoichi gasped for air, but she had no luck Instead she just swallowed more water, making her lungs burn in protest. She gritted her teeth as her vision started to cloud on the edges and chest scream out as if her internal organs were on fire. Reaching up, Amaya let herself start to sink, knowing that there was less and less chance she would be able to get out of this as the light up above seemed to fade with each passing second. Kicking and thrashing in the deep water made no difference as she starched at her neck trying to alleviate the burning sensation that her lungs and throat were shouting at her. Whoever said that drowning was a peaceful process, surely had never come close to it. It was anything but. It felt like she was being consumed by fire from the inside instead of the outside.

Maybe once the burning sensation passed, it would be a better way to go out. Amaya could feel her fingers and toes start to tingle from the lack of oxygen and knew that the rest of her body wasn't farther behind that. She tried to keep herself together, but her brain wouldn't listen to any more calming thoughts, and she started to panic. She was thrust into her fight or flight mode, but neither one produced any results which only created added stress on her body. Tears started to leak out of the corner of her eyes, but they quickly dissipated into the surrounding water.

With her energy burning up fast, her brain shut off, and now, her mind started to wander into nothingness. This must be the peacefulness that person talked about. Once the burning goes away and the body can't move any longer, the whole world just seems quiet. As if in the last moments, one is allowed such luxuries of quiet to observe the beauty and strength of the elements around them. Amaya closed her eyes and waited for the feeling to pass. She knew that it wouldn't be long now. She was ready to pass and repent for her sins.

She let the water take hold of her limbs as they floated slightly above her torso, and finally, Amaya hit the sandy, rock bottom. When she felt the grain against her skin, she opened up her eyes only to see a dark world filled with water. There was a small flicker of light above, and she wondered if it was the moon saying goodbye to her. A once peaceful background started to turn into one that was filled with whispers of spirits who had passed on. Some of them seemed lost, or at least curious, to see who was coming to join them, as their whispers grew louder before backing off. Never fully reaching Amaya's ears for her to comprehend what they were saying to her.

The kunoichi wondered if they were still there because they had unfinished business, or if they had a kinship to her; they didn't know where they were going. Would she be like them when she passed? Always wandering, never knowing where to go next? Looking for something that would never be there? Maybe these spirits were good, and maybe they weren't. Amaya felt like she had done enough bad in the world, but felt like there was some good left in her too. Maybe they would even out and she could be neutral. Then again, that was probably just the bias of her own opinion in regards to herself.

Nevertheless, the situation didn't progress like Grace thought. The water above her started to shimmer, and then out of nowhere, a figure blocked the moon, casting a dragon like shadow down on top of her. Mizuchi came down from above her, swimming as fast as he could. He seemed nervous, worried even. He looked around and Amaya wondered why he seemed so stressed. When he gasped and choked on the water as well, that's when Amaya realized that she was right. This wasn't a normal place. The water dragon was also choking in this ocean, and he was here, presumably to rescue Amaya.

"Amaya, we have to get you out of here now!" Mizuchi harshly whispered at the kunoichi, who couldn't respond to his words, knowing that if she tried her lungs that were all ready filled with water would give out on her.

The dragon nuzzled her body, but for whatever reason, he could barely move her. The summons looked at its master with pain in his eyes, as if he was about to lose the kunoichi.

"One minute I was thrown out of your subconscious and then the next moment, when I'm let back in, I find you sinking to the bottom of this pool… please Amaya, you need to fight this feeling… I know you feel tired and your body feels heavy… but please, I'm not ready to let you go yet…"

Again, Amaya had no words for the dragon, but if she could, she knew that she wouldn't have words of comfort for him. She had fought the good fight, and even though she felt like she could give this world more, this had to be a sign that it was her time to finally pass on. The dragon reminded her of when she left Pakkun, another lose end that she never got to see through to the end, or apologize for leaving. Amaya tried to look away, but even with that action, it seemed to be too much work.

"Amaya, don't give up. Don't give up fighting. I know you. I know that you want to—"

Suddenly, Mizuchi was cast out of the water, the dragon started to thrash and growl all the while being propelled to the surface, leaving Amaya alone once again. Her mind was reeling. What was going on? She tried to squint, to get a good look at what was going on around her, and the landscape that she once saw, seemed to be some sort of diversion of what it was. Those whispers that she heard were yells, telling her to swim for the surface. The ghosts came into view, and they seemed to have shackles around their ankles, keeping down at the bottom of the sea.

This was no place to die. She may have gone through more pain and suffering than what was normal for a lifetime, but she didn't give up then, and she wasn't going to give up now. Life only gives one what they can handle, and Amaya knew that. She just had to find a way to stop pitying herself, and move once more through the pain. She put up such a fight against the immortal duo, that it wouldn't be a bad end to her life, to die honorably in battle. But Amaya wanted more. She always had. Even in her beginning days of the Anbu, she always pushed herself to strive to be one of the best captains in the force. Then, when she was reassigned and fell in love, her goals changed.

Now she understood why Mizuchi was so angry with her when she moped around in the village, unwilling to act. She didn't choose that her heritage gave her the powers that she received, but it was up to her how she used them and how she lived her life going forward. All the training that she did wasn't a futile effort and instead, it gave her the will of fire. It gave her the ability to fight. Amaya had heart, and after saving the dragon, she knew that Mizuchi was trying his hardest now to save her.

Amaya gritted her teeth and against the protest of her body, she started to move her limbs. They screamed at her, the lactic acid built up in ever single one of her muscles. Every movement came with excruciating pain, the weight of the water crashing down on top of her, trying to keep her down, trying to make her give up. She didn't know what this reality or realm was, but if it was anything like a genjutsu, she knew that it could be beat. She just had to figure out how to do it. It was genjutsu of her own mind, trying to protect her from her own pain. She felt like she couldn't swim, but with every thought that contained that feeling, she pumped her arms a little more and kicked a little harder, every stroke pulling her closer to the surface.

She didn't want to die, she never did. The kunoichi was hot-headed sometimes, and right now she needed that. She thought she would be okay if she could magically convince herself that she could just let go. But that wasn't her. She was the fighter, that was what she was bread to do, that was what she was trained to do, and at her core, it was she was born to do. She swam closer to the surface, thinking that even though her summons was a pain in the ass, once again he gave her the jolt she needed to get off her own ass—and she appreciated the creature for it.

If Amaya didn't break the surface and fight for what she believed in, that would be it. And she wasn't ready to let any of that go. At least, not yet. Kakashi may have told her that what was there between them was over, but that was what he had to say, she never got to voice what was on her own mind. She didn't want to fight him, but hell, she was ready to give her a piece of her own mind, if it came down to it. This wouldn't be the finality of her life, she couldn't let it be. If anyone could change their fate, it was her. Yes, she may die, but Amaya was sure of one thing, she wanted to see this through until the end. She didn't owe anyone anything anymore, she only owed it to herself.

Amaya broke the surface of the drowning sea, and took a freeing breath, filling her lungs with the well needed air. All the while, hacking up the water that was already in them. She was given a second chance here, and she wasn't going to waste it. She was here to fight and fight she shall. Plus, she some unfinished business to attend to. Even if she ended up in more pain than what she thought she could handle, the only thing left to do was fight. And fight she would.

Kakashi was knocked backwards into the ground. His thoughts fully absorbed with the notion that Kakuzu was about to rip out his heart. For whatever reason, maybe through hesitation and thinking that he was going to feel pain, his eyes slammed shut. However, when the pain never came, that was when he opened them slowly. When he opened his eyes, he saw neon blue looking back at him. The fleeting moment passed when Amaya coughed, blood spilling down the sides of her mouth and dripping onto Kakashi's face. Amaya didn't move, noting the clear shock on Kakashi's face at her being there, in between him and Kakuzu. Especially since only moments ago she was clearly unconscious.

"I'm sorry I'm late," Amaya smiled evidently breaking up by coughing up some blood that just spilled down further, dripping off her chin now.

Kakashi opened his mouth, but no words came out, as if all the words he had were evaporating into thin air. There were so many things that he wanted to say the kunoichi on top of him, but his mind was completely scrambled. It didn't help that that was also the moment where he took in the entire situation, and that was when his eyes widened. Kakuzu's hand was plunged into Amaya, straight through her heart to the point where Kakuzu's hand was almost touching Kakashi's chest. Amaya had saved him.

"You fucking bitch," Kakuzu mouthed, "I knew that I shouldn't have healed you. No good deed goes left unpunished, now, does it… I guess I'll just take your heart now first, won't I?"

But instead of trying to take Amaya's mangled heart of her body, Kakuzu leaned forward, almost crumpling within himself, clutching his own heart. One of his creatures started to roar and it fell down in a heap of black twine.

"What the hell did you do to me!?" Kakuzu roared, not understanding how they could have taken another one of his hearts, when he was so close to getting a new one.

Kakuzu didn't hesitate to pull his hand out of Amaya's chest, trying to back up even though he was in a considerable about of pain. The only thought that was going through his head was that he needed ot regroup and get out of this situation. It had been a long time since he was backed into such a corner. However, he had come this far, for this long, and he knew that if he played his cards right, he had nothing to fear from these nins. They were weary, plus, they had one to take care of now, even if it was a futile attempt. He knew that once a member and a friend of the village, always one. They would try everything to help revive Amaya, even if it just meant they would evidently lock her up in a cell for the rest of her life.

When Kakuzu released Amaya, she fell forward, her eyes hooded, only half open with absolutely no strength to stop herself from collapsing onto Kakashi. But the white-hair nin was there and he caught her before she fell on top of him. Kakashi position himself so he wasn't under Amaya anymore and instead she was in his hands as he hopped away from Kakuzu, trying to put some distance between them. Kakashi looked down at Amaya's face and she just gave his a soft smile, with nothing but love in his eyes, and it broke his heart. He opened his mouth, words finally coming to him, but before he could say anything, reinforcements came. Just in time, or maybe not. Yamato, Naruto, Sakura, and Sai stood vigilant in front of Kakashi, Amaya, Ino, and Choji, ready to take over the battle if need be.

"You're just in time guys!" Choji sighed, happy to see that more of the Konoha nins came to fight the good fight, even though Amaya was surely going to lose her life.

However, Naruto, and the others clearly didn't feel the same sentiment that Choji was expressing in his tones, when the blond spoke, glancing back at both of the sensei's that raised him into the nin that he was now.

"Clearly not fast enough…" Naruto stated with a solemn tone that made Choji glance at his feet.

Yamato refused to look back at the blue-haired kunoichi in Kakashi's arms, knowing that he wasn't going to like what he would see. He didn't have a problem with the embrace that Kakashi and she was in, but he knew that Amaya wasn't in great shape. He didn't even know that with Tsunade's help, if her injury was able to be repaired. Amaya was going to die on this battle field and there was nothing he could do to stop it. So, he did what everyone needed. He became a leader.

"Kakashi, Team seven has this, we will make sure that we get this job done."

Kakashi knew that Yamato wanted to be right there next to him, holding Amaya's hand, but there was bigger things right now. A bigger threat and more danger that didn't allow the luxury to say goodbye to a loved one. But Kakashi knew that Yamato, his old pupil, would give him as much time as he could so he could be with Amaya. And for that, there were no words to ever display how thankful he was to Yamato in that moment.

"Ino, start performing medical treatment to Amaya, and Kakashi, let's get her to safety back at the village. Sakura, the next open moment you have go try and find Shikamaru in the forest, where I presume he took the other one. Sai, Naruto, let's get ready to fight this guy…" Yamato faded out barking orders at all the nin's there, commanding an air of superiority.

Without hesitation, Ino knelt next to Kakashi and she started to preform life saving techniques in hope that it would be enough to stabilize Amaya to get her back to the village. In the mean time, the two of them Ino and Kakashi, with Amaya in his arms, jumped onto one of Sai's birds that he quickly drew to rush them back to the hospital in Konoha. Kakashi didn't know how fast this bird could fly, but he never let Amaya out of his arms, hoping that every moment was one in which they were fast enough to get the kunoichi the help that she needed.

Kakashi knelt and held Amaya's head in his hands as he stared down at her. Amaya looked up at him and could see the water threatening to spill out of the corners of them. She knew that it would be any moment, and she would feel the soft drops of saline onto her cheeks. Amaya knew that Ino was trying to do her job, keeping the blue-haired woman alive, all the while trying to give the two some space in case this really was the last conversation the two would ever have. Ino plunged her hand into Amaya's chest and started try and piece back what was left of her heart.

"Please… Please… just hold on, stay with me, please stay with me, Amaya. Please…"

Amaya wanted to shush him, but she knew that she had to save her breath for something important.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for what I said to you. I regret everything and I take everything that I said back… please… just you need to make it out of this… I will fix everything… I will change, I will be better… just please… I don't… I don't know what I would do without you. I can't, I can't lose you again…"

"Kakashi, I…"

"No, don't talk, save your breath, Amaya. Please, preserve your strength. I need you to fight for me. Can you do that? I don't care if you end up hating me for the rest of our lives… but I need you to fight."

Amaya coughed, and Ino shouted at the two of them that Amaya was starting to fade. Kakashi had worry and fear written on his face, but Amaya felt calm. This was why she fought so hard to get back. It was so she could have these final moments with the man that she loved. She fought against her own captive reality, and even though she was here, she knew that it was what had to happen. Again, she knew that she had a chance to make things right, and now, that she did, she knew that she wouldn't regret anything when her eyes closed again.

Ignoring the pain in her chest, Amaya smiled up at Kakashi, in which he just goes on a rant once more to tell her to keep fighting, that they were almost at Konoha; he could see it in the distance.

Amaya relaxed her face, all her features turned soft as she silently thanked Mizuchi in her thoughts for everything that he did for her. Especially kicking her in the ass when she needed it. If he hadn't, she never would have had the balls to fight against the immortal duo, or fight her own self, in order to see Kakashi again. And for that, she would always be eternally grateful to the dragon deity, even if he was annoying as hell. Amaya continued to think, that if Kakashi wasn't too destroyed by her death, maybe, just maybe, he could go on to live for the two of them. That her spirit could live on with him living a long, fulfilling life.

However, she knew more about the man than he probably knew about himself, at this point. The opposite could probably be said as well. Even as the two spent time apart, she knew the man that held her close, and she always would. She knew him better than she knew herself, and she knew that Kakashi had paid even more attention to her that she did to him. So, she knew that if she left Kakashi like he was now, leaning over her, pleading with her to stay alive, like it was somehow his fault, that he was the one who punched a hole through her heart, he would live with only anger and regret towards himself for the rest of his life.

So, instead of her last breath being words of love, she told him something that she knew he needed to hear even more. He already knew that she loved him, that much was evident from their conversation in the cave. She reached up to touch Kakashi's cheek, and he placed his own hand over hers, finally letting his tears spill from his eyes. Amaya felt the warm liquid against her hand and when the liquid fell to her cheeks, she could feel the heat on her flesh. Amaya looked at him, and again, Kakashi told her to save her breath and energy. Nevertheless, Amaya shook her head and gave him a look as to say that what she had to tell him was important. So, Kakashi didn't protest any longer, the rest of the world falling silent around them.

Then she muttered the last words she would to him, filled with more compassion and love than anything else she had ever said to him.

"I forgive you."