Drowning in Freedom

Chapter 19: Abyss of the Lord

euniopaint: Haha no worries, i appreciate the sentiment though! I am glad that you liked the last chapter so much!

LadyAmazon: Mine too!

hatakekakashi7: Firstly, I love your profile picture. I am so happy that you caught back up with this story and happy to hear that you still love it as much as you do!

PrismRootStarlight: Anytime! You know how much I love doing that :P See but it is a good type of hurt... because you know that the words really struck a chord with you!

moonlight46: Trust me, if you thought it was emotional reading it you should have been the one writing it! Not a spoiler or anything, but I did have a few tears writing this chapter...

DxGRAYxMAN: :(

DaddysLiitleGirl: Heheheheheh your review made me laugh so hard. Thank you :P Haha i hope you don't go anywhere... this story is going to be picking up again shortly with the romace and drama... oh so much drama to come...

neatfreak16: Well I am eager to get the update out to you, so I hope you enjoy this :) Not only that, but your comment made me chuckle... I am kinda known for my horrible cliff hangers if you haven't noticed :P

phoenixx313: If you thought last one was heartfelt, boi do I have a new update for you :P

The only thing that could be heard in the hospital was the sound of Tsunade yelling at every single member of the staff at Konoha's hospital. When Amaya was first brought to the hospital, Tsunade was sure that she was going to have to pronounce her dead on the scene. However, with one look of Ino, who was covered up to her elbows with Amaya's blood, there was still hope for this kunoichi. Even if Ino was there pumping her heart and breathing for her. Not only that, but along the way, it seemed that Ino had put Kakashi's affinity for lightning style jutsus to work by making him carefully stimulate the nerves and muscles of the body by giving them brief electric charges.

Tsunade swallowed and let her thoughts pass through her, the only way she could move forward and help the kunoichi who fought for life in front of them. She could help but think of her own pass lover, but she couldn't allow herself to go there right now. There were bigger things at stake. So, she started to bark orders and take over from where Ino had left off. She knew that her pupil was tired, and yet, she couldn't have been more proud of her. Without Ino's quick action, there would be nothing left of Amaya to fix.

"Nurse clear the way! I'm going to trauma one upstairs. Make sure that everything is prepped and ready to go—"

"But Lady Tsunade, that will take a few minutes to get ready—"

"I didn't ask you to question me, I told you to get the room ready. We are coming up, and time is something that we don't have the luxury. So, instead of talking… RUN," Tsunade yelled at the nurse who took Tsunade's words to heart.

She seemed to be the lead nurse who ran off, and evidently, there was a code that sounded up above, and then a few more nurses scrambled to help out. All the while, Tsunade and Ino transferred Amaya's body from Sai's bird to a bed so it would be easier to operate on her. Preperations were being made, because without having a good luck inside of her chest, Tsunade had a feeling that she was going to be performing a reconstruction surgery on Amaya's heart. One that she hadn't done in a while, nor was it common practice to do one. Taking a deep breath, Tsunade reminded herself that she was the only chance that Amaya had of living a life close to what she had before.

"Ino, grab Shizune, the two of you will be assisting me in the surgery."

"Yes ma'am," Ino said and jogged away trying to find the other woman that Tsunade requested.

That left a handful of people, some nurses, Tsunade, and Kakashi to push Amaya towards the room that she needed to go to. However, the hokage made the mistake to look at Kakashi's war torn face in which, that told her everything that she needed to know about what happened with the fight that she had sent Amaya out on. That, and how the second one seemed to have gone. Tsunade pumped maya's heart with her hand and every so often lowered her own lips to the kunoichi's, trying to keep her vitals in a range that they could operate in. Furthermore, Tsunade keep taking glances at what looked like a pain-ridden face from Amaya. Tsunade just hoped that she wasn't seeing things. That this was a sign that Amaya had enough strength and will power to make it through this trial and the biggest fight for her life.

The group finally made their way into the room, and Tsunade removed her hands, one of the nurses taking charge as Tsunade started to prep herself. She didn't see any other big injures on Amaya, but she knew that when she opened up the woman's chest, she was bound for a few surprises.

"What the hell happened?" Tsunade muttered to herself, seeing the gaping hole in Amaya's chest.

"She sacrificed herself for me," a voice squeaked and cracked, and Tsunade turned to see that Kakashi was still in the room with them.

It didn't dawn on her that seeing Amaya under the knife may make matters even worse if Kakashi decided to interfere, so Tsunade took Kakashi over to the side of the room, away from Amaya. Kakashi's eyes never left the kunoichi, but he allowed the hokage to lead him slightly away from the body on the gurney.

"Is she going to be okay?" Kakashi's voice welled up with emotion, unable to contain himself.

Tsunade opened her mouth, but that was the one thing she couldn't do as a medical professional. She didn't make promises, especially when there was a great chance she was going to break the truth on anything she told the man in front of her in regard to her patient.

"Please, please, for the love of God, save her… please…" Kakashi started to yell and Tsunade reached out, placing a hand on Kakashi's arm to keep him from running forward.

"Kakashi, we are going to do everything that we possibly can for her, however, you don't look too good yourself and you need to see someone."

"I'm fine, you need to help Amaya, don't worry about me."

"We have the very best in this hospital on Amaya—"

"I don't care! I want every single one of your staff members her trying to help out and—"

"Kakashi!" Tsunade yelled at the white-haired man, keeping the pieces just together enough so he wouldn't lose it in her operating room.

"Shut up and listen. We are wasting precious time here arguing instead of me helping Amaya. Now, you need to take care of yourself and get checked out because if by some miracle Amaya comes out of this surgery alive, then she is going to need all the help that she can get. She is going to need someone there to look out for her. I need you to step up Kakashi, I need you to be strong right now. Can you do that for me?"

Even though it was a speech that would probably be said to a child, Kakashi nodded his head knowing that the hokage was right. If Amaya made it out of this, she did need someone to take care of her while she recovered fully. Not even that, but with everything that the kunoichi had risked the past few days, and even with the years that passed, for once this village could do something for the woman instead of the other way around.

"Kakashi, let me do my work and I am going to try my best to bring Amaya back to you," and Tsunade then broke the one taboo of a medical professional, "you have my word," she gave Kakashi a promise.

Kakashi gritted his teeth and his eyes welled with tears. He launched his fist against the wall, breaking some of the while titles that had lined it. Pulling back, the broken pieces fell to the ground, and his knuckles started to bleed through his gloves.

"It's all my fault, Lady Tsunade…. Amaya was in that mess in the first place because of me and… if she dies… I don't know if I can live with myself…"

"If there is one thing I know about our friend, is that she always had a reason for doing. She loves you, and if she didn't, then she wouldn't have sacrificed herself for you."

"She forgave me…"

"What?"

"Her last words to me weren't ones of love, they were ones of forgiveness. It was like she was planning on saying goodbye and knew that I would feel guilt over what I said to her, and now, I realized how much I messed up."

"Kakashi, those are words of love if I ever heard them. That girl only thought of you and your feelings even in the middle of a warzone. Now, do what Amaya did for you, save each other's lives. Now, I need to go what I do best, and you, you can start praying to all the old and new gods, to anyone or anything that will listen to help our girl wake up."

Kakashi nodded his head, and Tsunade directed the white-haired nin out of her operating room. She pulled up her sleeves, turned around, and then got to work on saving her friend's life.

Seventeen. It's a number that doesn't have any merit to it. It doesn't have an unlucky stigma to it like 13 does, nor is it one of the numbers that are written about in most religious text: three, seven, or ten. It isn't even, and it is mostly glanced over. It isn't thought of like its superior twenty or a number that is easy to count to. Seventeen. It is a prime number, only two things go into it to make it. A one, and the same number of itself. An egotistical number to say the list, but aren't most prime numbers? Granted, its double, at 34 is thought of, counted, truly never forgotten, so why is seventeen?

Seventeen. That was how many hours Tsunade, Shizune, Ino and the nurses were in the trauma room working on Amaya. Working to reset her broken bones, stich up her lacerations, and most importantly, piece her shredded, torn heart back together. It was worse than the hokage had thought it was going to be. A lot worse. So bad, that advanced vocabulary wouldn't do it justice. It was just that. Bad. Tsunade had never seen anything like it, and even with cracking open Amaya's chest and bending back her ribcage, it still took that overlooked number of seventeen hours on the operating table before Tsunade was able to close Amaya up.

The kunoichi would have plenty of scars to show off, not only of the operation, but the fight itself. On top of that, Tsunade was able to get Amaya's heart to start beating again, but with each pump, until the tissue of the muscle fused back together, Tsunade was afraid that everything would be under too much stress and just simply, fall apart. She still held out hope though, hope that Amaya would eventually awake again. Tsunade exited the trauma room, and finally took off her mask, her gown coated up and down with her patients' blood. It was if she had just walked into her own horror movie, but, in a way, maybe she already had. Tsunade was tired, bags formed under her eyes, and there was nothing more she wanted to do but take a shot and then go to bed.

However, she still had one more thing to do. Even though Amaya survived the surgery, it was now up to her if she ever woke up to see the light of day again. Tsunade did everything medically possible to fix and help heal her friend, but now, it was all up to Amaya. The only question left was a simple one: Did Amaya have enough strength to keep fighting, or no? Tsunade checked at the quiet nurses' station, ignorant of the clock, knowing that it was already way into the middle of the night. Most of the rooms were quiet and the hallways were dark, but she wasn't here to cruse along the silent night, trying to piece together her thoughts from the previous day. No, her final task she had to do that night was the one she looked forward to the least.

She walked down the hallway and saw that it was mostly illuminated, noting that someone had been down their recently, or, there was someone waiting as close, and patiently as possible to their loved one. Turning, so she had a better view of the hallway, there was Kakashi, sitting forward with his hand kitted together, elbows on his knees, as he leaned forward, his head dropped while his forehead rested against his hands and his leg bounced relieving some pent-up nervous energy. However, she was also happy to see that he did what he was told. Even though his clothes were still torn up and dusty from the previous fight, he was patched up as some light bandages peeked out from his clothing. But, on closer inspection, it almost seemed as if Kakashi was just as tired and wary as she was.

Tsunade doesn't say anything as she approached the man sitting on the bench, and instead, she simply just took a seat next to him. She knew that he knew she was there, as he started to wring his hands together. If she could concentrate, she knew that she could probably hear his heart beat erratically, given that he was terrified about the news that she was here to bring him. Tsunade tried to send a nurse out to him every few hours, but that stopped when things became touch and go with Amaya, quickly turning into an all hands-on deck situation. She leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes, knowing that when she did so, it would free Kakashi from his position, only to find his trained, tired eyes on her.

"Kakashi, I'm not going to lie or sugar-coat anything for you, but given that we were in the operating room for seventeen hours, I have a feeling that you probably already know what kind of dire outcome we are in right now," Tsunade said with softness to her tone, all the while opening her eyes to see Kakashi looking at the floor.

"It wasn't seventeen hours."

"What?"

"It wasn't seventeen hours. It was just over that. It was seventeen hours, twelve minutes, and thirty-eight seconds."

If it was under other circumstances, she would have said something about the punctuality that Kakashi was exhibiting. Especially since the man was known to not be on time for anything.

"I fixed up Amaya's heart to the best of my ability. Alongside that, we had to set some bones and place some pins in her to make sure everything heals correctly. I wouldn't say that we are out of the woods yet, but physically, if nothing goes wrong in the next week or so, I think it is safe to say that she will make it out of this. I'll keep her in the ICU for a long while, because she isn't out of the woods until she wakes up," Tsunade spoke, pushing through, giving Kakashi Amaya's verdict.

"Tsunade, I don't know how to thank you for this…" Kakashi spoke, leaving out formalities.

Tsunade blew air out of her nose forcefully, almost as if Kakashi had told her a bad joke she didn't want to acknowledge.

"I wouldn't thank me yet… Amaya was as close to death that is possible for a human. I still don't know how she is still alive and how her torn up heart is beating now. By some miracle, Kakashi, she is still with us."

"Is this where you tell me that you don't know if she is ever going to wake up again?" Kakashi held his breath.

"I don't know the answer to that, if she is going to or not. Now, right now, it is all up to Amaya. It is up to whether she wants to fight any longer or not."

Kakashi placed his hands on the edge of the bench and held it, turning his knuckles white. He gripped onto the seat so hard that his hands and arms started to shake.

"Amaya isn't one to give up. She never has been. Hell, she saved me when she was fighting for her own life on the battle field, where I'm pretty that in her unconscious state she could see that I was in trouble and wanted nothing more than to help me, to save me. Amaya's heart may have been cut into, she may have sustained life threatening injuries, but she is still here. She needs to wake up… she needs to wake up because my selfish ass needs to say a few things to her… I can't leave these words unfinished… Because if I do, then I really am all alone in this world. I know that I'm still pissed at her for leaving, I know that it is going to take some time to get through things, but hell, I would rather go through a thousand cuts, a thousand fights, a thousand pissing matches, just to get one more moment with her."

The two were silent as Kakashi's final words faded into the surroundings, with only the occasional flicker of the light above. Tsunade didn't have anything to say to the man. No words of comfort, or remorse. Her mind held nothing that she could say that could ease the pain that the man next to her was clearly feeling.

"Where is she?" Kakashi asked in a whisper.

It took a beat for Tsunade to respond.

"Amaya is down the hall in ICU, however, she shouldn't have a lot of visitors at the moment."

"And why is that?"

"Because she is hooked up to a machine and needs the rest and she isn't the only one—"

"I appreciate the concern, but I'll rest when I know that Amaya is out of the woods. Now, what room exactly is she in," Kakashi spoke with an air of authority, rising from his place on the bench.

Tsunade looked up at him, and swallowed hard, noticing the determination on Kakashi's face. There was no doubt in her mind that this time, Kakashi wasn't going to let Amaya go. He wasn't going to let the kunoichi go through anything alone anymore. Amaya's recovery was going to be a long one, but Kakashi was up for it. However, Tsunade knew that if Amaya gave up fighting, if she let go and passed on, the hokage wouldn't just be losing on nin, she would be losing too. Kakashi would be forced to live alone. Be truly alone in this world again, and she didn't know if the man could handle it again. Without knowing it, this may as well be the second and final chance that the two were ever going to get to make things right. And Tsunade would be damned if she was going to put herself, or let anyone, get in the way of her friend's true happiness. It was going to be a long road ahead, for both Kakashi and Amaya, but if Kakashi still held out hope that there would be a future, so would Tsunade.

So, Tsunade opened her mouth and out spilled the number of the room that Amaya was recovering in. Without saying anything more, Kakashi turned and started jogging where Amaya was. Tsunade saw a few nurses that were going to tell him to slow down, but with a quick shake of her head, the nurses fell silent before they could say anything to the man. Tsunade leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. It felt like an eternity later before she felt a presence next to her.

"Can I help you with something, Shizune?"

"I just… with everything that happened do you think…"

"I have already taken precautions."

"How so?"

"Yamato is going to head the protection unit on overseeing Amaya's recovery."

"Yamato? I thought him and Kakashi didn't get along? Are you sure that he is the right choice for the job?"

"I have no doubt in my mind."

"Why is that, that is, if you don't mind me asking."

Tsunade opened her eyes but kept them trained on the ceiling above.

"He is one of the very few people I can trust to keep her alive."

Amaya took a sharp inhale and bolted upright, as if her lungs were given a new release on life. Her chest rose and fell hectically, as if she was recovering from hyperventilation. As she started to calm down, she realized that the darkness that surrounded her wasn't just n her head. She literally couldn't see anything in front of her. However, unlike before, this place seemed dry, and slightly warm, as if there was nothing in here besides her and endless darkness. Trying to find her footing, Amaya stood up on solid smooth ground, with virtually no angle to it. As if the floor underneath her feet had no incline or decline to it whatsoever.

There was no water around, no Mizuchi, no nothing. Everything was just… quiet. Amaya rolled her shoulders and felt sore all over, as if she had woken up from a hard workout from the previous day. She started walking forward, stretching out her arms to make sure she didn't hit anything as she started to make her way through her vast surroundings. Her memory was fuzzy, but surprisingly, it was still there. The last thing that she remembered was swimming to the surface of some dense ocean, then being back where it was warm, humid, and sunny. Only to be suddenly in Kakashi's arms with Kakuzu's hand through her chest. She rubbed her hand over her forehead knowing that there was more that she was missing, until it dawned on her. Before she blacked out and woke up here, she forgave Kakashi.

Sighing, Amaya hoped that wherever she was now, that Kakashi had taken her words to heart, that he wouldn't beat himself up if she did pass. Granted, Amaya didn't know if this is what the other side of life looked like. There was nothing here. As she continued her walk, it seemed as if it was endless. That was, until, her world started to change from dark black to a light gray, the world trickling into color. In front of her, far off in the distance, it seemed like there was a glance of light that was stemming from the horizon. Amaya knew that she should be wary of it, have hesitation, but for some reason, seeing the single light source filled her with a sense of calm. Like it was supposed to be there after all.

She journeyed to the light source, eventually making it out to be a small fire wrapped around a pit of stones. When she got close enough to it to make out all of the surrounding details, what was there surprised her. The fire was there, but in front of the fire were two logs big enough to sit on. One log wasn't occupied, and the other, right next to it held someone who was tending to the fire with a stick. The man had long white hair that was pulled up in a pony tail and he wore the crest that most nin of Konoha did alongside a style choice of a bandana, or sleeve, tied around his arm that was white with red detailing at the trim. However, what set him apart wasn't the aged lines on his face, or the sad smile he seemed to give Amaya when her face was finally lit up by the fire, but it was the uncanny resemblance he held of Kakashi. As if this was the aged version of him, but without a mask.

"I have been waiting a long time to meet you, Amaya. If what my son tells me about you is true, through his prayers, I know that I will already love you. So, please, if you have a moment to spare, take a seat and tell me your story."