Thank you to everyone who left reviews and emails - good, bad, and everything in between, I read them all! Thank you to the new and old followers for reading, re-reading and waiting patiently for a new update. I've had some really tough months/years, so now I'm getting back into it again. Thank you once more for sticking with this story and writing me some awesome emails to remind me that I should really come back and finish what I started :) :) This is going to be a short chapter...kind an incomplete chapter to roll into a longer more complete story. I just want to kind of ease back into this storyline.
On another note, please keep in mind that this is fan fiction. So if you think that a character(s) is/are OOC that's fine. This is creative writing, so everything is open to interpretation. Some reviews and emails come off as a little angry...and if you really feel that strongly about my writing - Please. Stop. Reading. I really don't know what else to say to appease you. If you are really unhappy with my writing style and interpretation, then please check out some other fanfic authors I really enjoy: SianCore, justaroundtheriverbend, LobsterLobster, foucsedOnProsperity. They are BRILLIANT and I really hope that you find their work just as amazing as I do. :)
Carl's lungs burned and his legs felt heavy; but he pressed on. He had no idea where he was going, only that he needed to be as far away from them as possible. He ran for what felt like 20 minutes through the dense forest; not bothering to count the twist and turns he took. Exhausted, Carl finally stopped and crumbled to his hands and knees. He listened carefully for walkers; but there was nothing, except for the low rustle of the wind through the trees. He sat back on his heels, and took in deep breaths, trying to slow his rapid heart beat. As he began to catch his breath, Carl closed his eyes for a moment and took in the smell of pine and damp earth. It was probably the first time in a long time that he really felt a sense of peace. A small smile crept onto his face as the sensation of absolute calm washed over him. Unfortunately for Carl, it was short lived. Like a bad dream, Michonne's tear filled eyes flashed into mind. He clutched at his chest in physical pain as defeat permeated his whole being.
"I'm sorry." he whispered bitterly to himself. "Mich, I'm...", he could barely speak as the overwhelming guilt of turning on her began to eat away at him. Carl hated himself for leaving her sad and confused; standing alone, surrounded by judging eyes. Hunching over, he buried his face in his hands; as if to hide his shame. "How...how am I going to make this right?" he swallowed hard trying to steady his voice. He punched the at the air, frustrated; unable to think clearly. "FUCK!", he yelled out and began to weep. No matter how desperately he wanted to escape his hurt and shame, there was nowhere he could go to avoid the raging storm within him. He sat there motionless for a few minutes allowing his tears to fall freely, his heart broken into pieces. "Stop. Stop crying you idiot," Carl scolded himself as he slowly wiped the tears away. "Why the fuck did I do that to you...Mich, I..." He stopped mid-sentence and slumped down onto the damp earth, broken.
Completely enveloped by his emotions, Carl was unable to the registered quick footsteps from behind him until they were only a few feet away. 'It doesn't matter anyway, do your worst', he thought miserably to himself. He was too emotionally and physically spent to do anything. Within a few short seconds he was yanked up by his collar and thrown into the base of a nearby tree. Hitting the the tree with such force winded him. Carl gasped for air but did nothing to protect himself from the assailant. 'I deserve this', he thought. Carl closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable.
Michonne stood cloaked in the darkness of her room; looking down at the street. She watched Rick shoulder Ron as they both walked towards her former residence. She rolled her eyes and let out a long-suffering sigh. Frustrated, she wrung her hands and paced around the room. "Please Carl. Come home. Please." She whispered to herself as she sat on Daryl's bed. "Please let me know you're OK." She sat in silence and desperately tried to trust that Daryl would be able to get through to Carl and bring him back to her. Unfortunately for Michonne, the longer she sat alone with her thoughts the more unraveled she became.
15 minutes had passed and Michonne could barely hold herself together. Standing abruptly, she charged into action. Walking over to her side of the room she pulled a large duffle bag onto her bed. Unzipping the it, she emptied its entire contents onto her bed. Michonne grabbed a purple singlet, socks, and black fitted jeans from the messy heap before her. Looking around the room, she spotted her boots peeping out from under a pile of Daryl's clothes. Wasting no time, Michonne marched over and quickly kicked off the clothes and shuffled her boots across the room with her feet while simultaneously slipping her dress off her shoulders.
She was dressed in less than a minute and was headed for the door carrying her katana in hand. As she raised her hand to unlock the door, a loud knock sounded from the the other side; stopping her immediately in her tracks.
"Michonne?" Maggie called out from behind the door. "Can I come in?"
Michonne's mind raced with conflicting emotions. She wanted to let her friend in, but knew she wasn't ready to talk just yet. Torn, she stood in silence till Maggie called out once more. Placing her sword to the side to the door, she took a step back; panicking.
"Michonne. Please. Open the door." Maggie said while awkwardly shifting a sleeping Judith from one arm to another so that she could press her ear up against the door. There she eagerly waited for Michonne's response. A few seconds had passed, without a word or sound. Maggie sighed and took a step back, "Mich I...", the click of the door opening stopped her mid sentence. Maggie walked in cautiously, barely passing the threshold. She watched her friend retreat further into the room like a scared wounded animal. The light of the hallway barely illuminated the room as Maggie took a few more small steps into the room, "Michonne? Why are you in the dark?" Maggie asked, worried for her friend. She waited for a reply, but got nothing in return. They stood in uneasy silence, staring at each other until Maggie decided that she was going to say what was on her mind, "Mich, Carl didn't mean what he said. He's just confused right now. He's gonna be OK. He loves you, he doesn't -."
"Stop." Michonne cut her short. "Just. Stop. OK? I...I really can't bear it right now." Michonne tried to steady her voice. She was revealing too much of herself every time her voice wavered. 'Keep it together', she angrily scolded herself internally.
"Michonne, I know - "
"No. You don't know." Michonne said, becoming increasingly more defensive and irritated by the second.
"Mich. Carl loves -"
"Carl wasn't wrong." Michonne cut her off once more, her voice still unsteady. Turning her back to Maggie, Michonne looked out the window and continued to talk. "I couldn't see past my own selfishness, my own pettiness. Carl was right there; hurting just like me and I...", Michonne's voice broke. She pause for a second trying to steel herself and control her emotions before continuing, "I failed him...I didn't protect him...and that's on me. I should've listened to Daryl, but I didn't. I chose not to. I chose to be petty and childish instead. And all along Carl was right there, looking to me for guidance... support...he needed me...and I...", she stopped unable to continue. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other and tried desperately to finish without becoming an emotional wreck. Clearing her throat she continued,"... he has every right to be mad. I let him down." Turning back to face her friend she finally looked Maggie in the eyes and uttered in a small voice, "I just...I just want to take his pain away. I want him to know that no matter what he's said or feeling...or done... I'll be there for him."
Heart broken, Maggie stood in silence for a few seconds, unable to think of anything to say that would comfort her friend. Instead she let out a small sigh and tried to reassure Michonne, "Daryl will bring him home, he just needs time. I'm sure he's with him right now." Seeing that her words had little to no effect on Michonne, Maggie tried to change her tactics, "Mich, that boy loves and adores you. It's obvious in the way he talks about you, the way he treats you. He's going to be OK. You two are not beyond repair. Give him time he'll-." Before Maggie could finish her sentence, the sound of cursing and running on the hardwood floor echoed throughout the house. Within seconds Glenn appeared and forced his way into the room, pushing past Maggie and a sleeping Judith.
"We gotta go. Now!" Glenn hissed, as he shoved a small scribbled note in Michonne's face. "It was left on the kitchen counter. He's out there. Get your things; let's go." Turning away from Michonne he began to relay what the note was to his wife. Without speaking, Maggie immediately un-clipped her gun belt with one hand and handed it over to her husband. "Be safe." She whispered and kissed him tenderly. Glenn gave her a strained smile and kissed both her forehead and the sleeping infant in her arms. He left immediately, heading straight for their room to look for more weapons and ammunition.
Michonne struggled to read what was written in the dim light. It was Daryl's handwriting. However, it was written so quickly that it was almost unreadable. Trying to decipher the note Michonne managed to pull out a few key words:
Carl...wall...outside...gone...bring back. ~Daryl
As Michonne pieced together the information, terror set in. " No. No, no, no," she barely whispered as she shoved the note into pocket. She frantically scrambled past Maggie; grabbing her katana on her way out. Michonne flew down the stairs and out her front door, she headed straight for Rick.
*15min prior*
Rick lay a very tired and disoriented Ron onto Michonne's old bed. He quickly walked around the bed to retrieve a few cushions and another pillow to prop Ron up.
"You ok?" Rick asked, already knowing the answer.
Ron scoffed and ignored the question. He instead adjusted himself and tried to sleep.
"Don't fall asleep. You need to be up all night. Just to make sure you don't have a concussion. Here, read this." Rick handed him a few comics from under the bed.
"Fuck off!" Ron snapped and knocked the comics out of Rick's hand. "Don't you have anything better to do?!" He spat at Rick.
Rick sucked his teeth and looked away, trying to suppress the anger raging just beneath the surface. "Fine." He replied through pursed lips, and moved to leave the room. As Rick reached the door, he stopped at the sight of CD's scattered across Michonne's old dresser. He quickly gathered them up and proceeded toward the kitchen.
The house felt dark and lonely as Rick moved through it. Only the sound of his own foot steps echoed throughout, making him acutely aware of void left by Michonne and his kids. As the floor boards creaked under his weight, Rick absentmindedly descended the steps. His mind a whirlwind of thoughts of Carl and Michonne. A sad smile crept onto his face as he thought about just days ago when laughter and chatter filled the house. Thoughts of Michonne trying to teach Carl poker and Carol and Sasha taking sides. Rick rubbed the back of his neck in frustration and paused momentarily as he came to the last step. How am I going get things back to the way it was? He thought miserably to himself as he walked on to the kitchen.
In the kitchen Rick placed the CD's on the counter, and turned to fill the kettle.
"Where's Ron?" Jessie asked from the threshold, startling Rick.
"He's in his room." he said, placing the kettle to side, and trying to recover from his mini heart-attack.
"What room? Where?" Jessie asked confused.
"Michonne's old room."
"No the kids have your room cause it's smaller, and we have Michonne's room. Right?!" Jessie questioned him, but the delivery of her question was more a demand than anything.
"Um." Rick scratched the back of his head. "No, that's not happening. We're not sleeping in her room."
"What?! Why not!", her voice clearly raised and filled with anger.
"Calm down." Rick hissed, "Lets discuss this quietly, we're not the only ones in the house. I think Carol's upstairs in her room." Rick replied sternly trying to diffuse the situation while trying to lead her toward the lounge - but deep down Rick knew all to well that Jessie was not going to let this go.
"No!" She yelled pulling away from him. "I want to sort this out now and I don't give a damn who hears! Why can't we sleep in that room?!"
"I, I..." Rick stammered trying to think on his feet."...I just don't feel right about it."
"Why?! Was there ever something between you two? Something you're not telling me."
"No." Rick quickly replied, steadily becoming more and more paranoid; avoiding eye contact.
"Then, what is it? You disappear for half the night, then when I see you next you're standing right by her."
"Look. I needed to sort some stuff out. That's all that was. She moved out and I needed to know what to do with this stuff." Rick pointed to the CD's on the counter; glad he had some sort of physical 'proof' to convince her that his intentions were purely platonic.
"OK, so if there isn't anything. You won't mind us sleeping in Michonne's room after we've returned all her shit."
"Fine. But, let Ron rest there for tonight. He's already in bed and comfortable. I'm going to wait up for Carl. You should really sit with Ron tonight, just to make sure he doesn't have a concussion."
"So if he isn't asleep, I'll get Ron and his things and move him into your room with Sam. I think -." Loud frantic knocking interrupted their conversation.
"Rick! Rick!" Michonne yelled from the front door, followed by more knocking.
Rick turned to leave but Jessie grabbed his arm.
"What?! What are you doing?! You, stay put; let me sort this out. We are not done yet." Jessie demanded and walked off.
"What do you want?" Jessie asked sternly as she stood in the door way, deliberately making sure Michonne could not enter.
"I don't have time for these games. Get Rick." Michonne said as she tried to look into the house.
"No. What do you want?" Jessie hissed and tried to close the door an inch further.
Frustrated Michonne pushed past just enough to get her head over the threshold, "Rick!" She yelled with everything in her.
Michonne sounded so desperate that without thinking, her voice propelled Rick forward, disregarding Jessie's instruction to stay where he was.
"It's late. What do you want with my family?!" Jessie asked, pushing Michonne back while partially closing the door the second time.
Rick already on his way, rushed to the door and pulled Jessie to the side. "What's wrong? You OK? Is Carl OK?"
"He went over the fence. Daryl's out there." Michonnes voice broke thinking of the danger Carl had put himself in. "We've got to go get him Rick. They could be..." She could barely hold herself together to finish her sentence.
Without a word, Rick turned back into the house and reappeared in seconds brandishing his red handled machete and his colt. " Lets go." Rick said, pushing past a distraught Jessie. He was out the door and down the stairs before Jessie had time to object.
Frustrated, Daryl pulled up a winded Carl by this collar and pushed him up against the tree; ensuring that they stayed within the shadows.
"Just kill me alrea-" Carl tried to yell out, as Daryl put a firm hand over his mouth, muffling his screams.
"Shut. Up." Daryl said in a hard whisper. "There are a lot of walkers out tonight. Be quiet." Daryl released Carl and watched the teenager intently. Trying to get a read on him.
Upon realizing that his attacker was Daryl, Carl relaxed slightly. But chose to avoid eye contact and remain silent.
"We have to go home now." Daryl said as he looked around. Calculating the fastest route back home. "I counted more than fifty. We could -"
"Just leave me out here." Carl said, not waiting for Daryl to finish.
"You fucking with me? We're going home. That's it. I promised Mich-"
"I can't." Carl cut him short once more. He turned to leave and took one step into the moon light.
Anger and frustration getting the better of him, Daryl yanked the teen back into the shadows and stood in front of the younger man. "Cut the shit Carl." Daryl hissed. "I don't know whats going on with you, but we're going home. I told Michonne that I'd bring you home. So that's what I'm gonna do."
Carl stood quietly, thinking about Michonne; wondering if she even wanted to see him at all.
Daryl looked at him, and knew exactly what he was thinking. But his patience wearing thin, so he decided to ignore Carl's insecurities for a moment. Daryl glanced over the scenery once more. "We'll go north, it'll take us a little out of the way. which means we'll have to double back by going southeast. Its the only way that we'd be able to do it, without attracting too many walkers to us. OK?" Daryl waited for his reply and turned back to Carl. "OK?"Daryl asked once more.
"Yeah." Carl managed.
Daryl nodded and turned back to the path ahead. He looked back to make sure Carl was ready and said over his shoulder, "And if you're wondering. She wants to see you. She loves you. You kids are everything to her. Don't keep her waiting. OK?"
Carl gave him a strained smile and nodded.
"By the way...sorry I was a little rough with you...we have more than walkers to worry about. There are eyes on us. I can't tell from where. I don't know how many. But they're out there. So stay close. Don't make a sound. Stay in the shadows." Daryl took one more look around and they were off. Daryl sprinting ahead with Carl following close behind.