Chapter 3: Patience & Denial

My trip to the deserted training ground was relatively peaceful. No one gave me heated glares or looks of surprised disdain as they noticed me. For once I blended into the crowd, and I was grateful for it. The short walk gave me some time to organize my thoughts, and I felt much better once I arrived at my destination.

"Trees are plentiful here, so that's a good thing. I won't have to travel far to obtain a leaf or two."

I sat under a nearby tree and opened the beginner's chakra control book to the first chapter.

"Each shinobi must know how to move their chakra to various places throughout their bodies. Without this knowledge a ninja can't perform any type of jutsu. Chakra is an extension of yourself, so you're able to move around this energy with a lot of practice and a determined mind. This lesson has these thoughts in mind as it teaches aspiring shinobi how to mold their chakra at a basic level.

The first step that we'll start with is to pick which place to send your chakra to. For this lesson you'll choose one of your hands, as they're the easiest areas for you to manipulate your energy. Take a moment to feel out and guide it through your body and into your hand. The amount of time this step takes may vary for each person. It all depends on how attuned you are to the feeling of your chakra."

I set the book on my lap before trying the step for myself. Finding my chakra was easier than I thought since I already stumbled upon it earlier during my meditation. Although, I had a feeling that moving it would be a different story.

Once I began to focus I mentally told it to start flowing towards my right arm. It swirled around for a moment and practically zoomed up my arm to reach my hand. I opened my eyes only to look at it in shock. It's glowing bright blue with the amount of chakra that I'm pumping into it. I looked at the next couple of sentences in the book to see how I did.

"The exercise that we'll be partaking in next will require a certain amount of chakra. Look at your hand to see your progress. It should be faintly glowing after completing this step. If it isn't glowing at all then you need to focus more into your hand, and if it's glowing brightly then you should cut back on the flow as much as you can. Precision is the key to success as a shinobi."

I mentally thought about slowing my chakra flow and received a response in a surprisingly short amount of time. When I looked back at my hand I saw it glowing slightly less as the book said I should attempt.

"I bet it would've been harder to control if I had more chakra to work with. Keeping the transformation jutsu on is probably helping."

I turned my attention back to my book and read the next part.

"Once you're done stop supplying chakra into your hand. Then retrieve a small leaf before continuing onto the next step."

I grabbed a nearby leaf from the ground before sitting back down in my previous position with my legs crossed and the book lying in my lap.

"To test your control place the leaf in the middle of your hand and try to keep it there with only your chakra. The amount you've summoned to your palm should make it stick if you've done it correctly. However, two other outcomes are also possible.

If you've added too much then it will blast away from you. While if you added too little then it'll float harmlessly off of your hand with the slightest breeze. Take some time to perfect your technique and only go to the next exercise after you've successfully completed this one."

"I don't know how well this will turn out, but I have to try to get better no matter how long it takes me to master. I want to- No, I will walk on water before I wake up, damnit!"

A sigh was released before I gently placed the leaf into the center of my right hand. I cleared my mind of everything else as I focused some chakra into my palm and hoped for the best. The leaf exploded. As in I completely destroyed any trace of it, and now nothing was left.

"What the fuck?"

My left eye started twitching as I grabbed another one that was roughly the same size. I huffed as I regained my previous position and tried to release a bit less energy than before. It was hard to gauge how much I needed since I haven't had much practice using chakra, but I couldn't let that stop me. I closed my eyes, focused my chakra, and then watched as another leaf disintegrated before my eyes. Silence reigned over the grounds as I let what happened sink in.

"Jesus Christ. I can't be this bad. No, I refuse to be this bad."

Leaf after leaf passed through my hands as I tried and completely failed the control exercise. Each time I scoured the ground for larger leaves than the last to see the extent of how horrible my control was. I even switched hands to see if that would make a difference. However, no matter what I did the end result was always the same. I took a break after an hour to think things through when there was still no change.

"This is fucking ridiculous. Does my chakra hate trees or something? Actually... Wasn't I allergic to a few kinds of trees? And most kinds of grass? I guess it has more merit than I thought."

I twirled a leaf between my fingers as I tried to think of anything else that could work. A few minutes later and my only ideas were to just use even bigger leaves or to give up and try a large rock or even a stick. The second idea was a joke at first, but it began to grow on me the more time passed by. After a while of pondering I noticed that it was starting to get late.

I thought it was best to go home for now, so I grabbed a few leaves and placed them in my book. I figured I could practice the lesson tomorrow and they could serve as a good enough bookmark for now. Then I stood up, stretched, and began the walk back to my apartment. I picked up a spare rock on the way, and made it back to my place without any mishaps. I made sure to lock the door behind me.

XxXxX

A whoosh of air left me as I released the transformation technique for the first time. I fully realized just how exhausted I was at constantly draining my chakra for a few hours. I tiredly walked to the kitchen table to grab my discarded glass and refilled it at the tap. Then I quickly downed it before replacing the water once more. My cup was placed back on the table while I grabbed myself a snack.

I enjoyed my second glass of water with a bowl of strawberries, purple grapes, and slightly salted cucumber slices. Once I finished eating I set my dishes in the sink before dragging myself into my bed and passing out on top of the covers. I slept fully through the night with ease and woke up with the thought of getting ready for my summer class.

It was my second year in college and I wanted to get a few general credits out of the way. So I took two extra classes for the shorter semester and today I had English Literature. My eyes were still closed as I thought about how I forgot to read the next five chapters of my book.

"It shouldn't be too much of a problem. I'll just get there earlier then usual and attempt to read a couple of chapters before class. Then I'll be able to follow along enough for the discussion."

My eyes fluttered open once my plan was in place and I sat up to complete my daily morning stretch. I groggily got up afterwards and headed straight to the bathroom to take a shower. Then I shrugged off my clothes and let the warm water slowly wake me up.

I cleaned my body mechanically before stepping out to dry off. It was as I toweled my hair that a niggling feeling of unease creeped over me. I felt like I was forgetting something else beyond my unfinished coursework.

I wrapped the towel around my waist as I wondered what I could have forgotten. It was when I was walking out of the door that I found my answer. The mirror was fogged up along with the rest of the room, but some of it was clear enough for me to catch a glance. What little was reflected was more than enough to remind me of my situation. Blonde spiky hair met my gaze instead of my usual messy black. I walked closer to the mirror to make sure I wasn't hallucinating, and leaned heavily against the sink when the person I saw wasn't me.

"Yesterday wasn't some fucked up lucid dream. I'm still here. I'm still Naruto. What the hell do I do now?"

The reason I was calm before was because I was actively avoiding thoughts that living in Konoha was a permanent thing. I figured that I was most likely dreaming, and once I passed out in the dream I'd wake up to my old room safe and sound. Now, I did have my doubts when I felt my chakra for the first time, and even more so when I ate food like the ramen at Ichiraku's and actually tasted it. However denial was, and still is, a powerful thing. So I slapped my face as hard as possible. A bright red mark bloomed across my cheek along with the pain that I needed to feel.

"Okay, focus. I'm in Konoha now, but before I'm supposed to graduate. I have a month to try to get to Naruto's level before the next year starts at the Academy. It could be worse. At least I wasn't thrown into the Forest of Death right away."

I sighed and forced myself to leave the safety of the bathroom before pacing just outside of it. A weight settled in my stomach from stress that I doubt will go away any time soon. The truth can be freeing in some cases, but not this time. It's true that I can learn to walk up cliffs and eventually give someone the most deadly high-five in existence, but I can just as easily be slain by another ninja with a shitload more of experience. There's Zabuza, Orochimaru, and a long list of other willing candidates that'll be more than happy to take the job.

"One slip up at the wrong moment could end my life or fuck something up royally for me in the long run. Maybe if I was a side character it wouldn't matter as much, but I'm going to be in the middle of a lot of serious shit for the next few years. So, no pressure I guess."

I gave up on constantly pacing when my stomach began to growl in protest. It didn't stop my brooding, but at least I started doing something productive with my time. My buttered toast was eaten in a slight daze until I realized I didn't even dress myself yet. With that in mind I walked to the closet and looked through my options. Or rather, my one option.

It was a sad thing to see that there weren't any other pieces of clothing I could use aside from his customary outfit. The whole wardrobe was mostly filled with his orange coats and pants along with the black t-shirts that he wears underneath. There were also pajamas and a sleeping cap in there, but they didn't help me either.

"It would be great if he didn't have such a memorable color on all of his clothes. Everyone knows who I am immediately with them on. And screw the goggles. I really don't want to wear those every day."

I grumbled at the fact that I would have to eventually buy different outfits so I wouldn't stick out in the crowd as much. I also needed to get milk since the last gallon I threw out was nearly six months past its expiration date. Just remembering the smell from when I dumped it was enough to make me gag again.

"Maybe I should make a list of what I need."

Something I realized almost immediately was that it was way easier to focus on finishing menial tasks instead of something more pressing. Like, say, the million and a half things I needed to do in order to prevent myself from getting killed in the next few years. Yeah, I'd much rather work my way up to stressing over that.

XxXxX

I spent the rest of my second day in Konoha by sulking in my apartment and practicing the first control technique from my book. I started taking out all twenty leaves in preparation when I spotted the shiny rock sitting on my table. Last night I placed a small pillow underneath it and jokingly called it Steve. Since my current situation doesn't change anything regarding him he gets to stay. I guess Naruto has a pet rock now.

There wasn't much else happening since I hadn't planned on venturing into the outside world for a good while. I knew that I still had enough food for the next couple days, so there wasn't a valid reason to go outside. I also knew that I was pointedly avoiding my problems by staying indoors, but I still needed some time to adjust and accept that this was all real. So I ate my lunch and eventually supper before heading off to bed to get some rest. At least this time I managed to change into some pajamas before sliding under the covers.

Two days later and I thought I was getting progressively better with my chakra control. I say 'thought' because I blew through all twenty leaves fairly quickly and didn't want to go outside to grab some more. This led me to practice by meditating and moving my chakra to my hands without an object to focus on. It was a slow and tedious process, but it was the one I was more comfortable with. I'm sure the glowing has been reduced by at least a little bit, but I doubt that it made enough of a difference.

An interesting thing to note was that I've been unconsciously integrating Naruto's memories into mine over the past few days. Things like the language and writing came right away, but other things like understanding how the currency worked came as I woke up each morning. I was slightly concerned over the fact that I've been receiving his memories more often. Although, I have to admit that it's been a very useful gift to have.

I can only imagine how it would have looked if I couldn't even find my way around the village. Especially if I was supposed to have lived here already for eleven years. People would surely get suspicious if I suddenly didn't have common information that a true citizen of Konoha would know right away.

A less pressing matter was that I had to go to the market today to purchase more food for my fridge and pantry. I ate my breakfast before showering and dressing in the same outfit that I went out in a few days before. I had the black shirt and dark blue pants washed seeing as they're the only pair of clothing that won't label me instantly as the 'fox brat' of the Hidden Leaf.

The transformation technique was applied as I grabbed the original Naruto's precious Gama-chan. I happily noted that it was bulging with the amount of money that it stored over time. I whistled a cheerful tune as I strolled out into the empty hallway and headed over to the market.

The shopping district was bustling with people and I was never happier to be unnoticed as I looked around. I couldn't help but compare this outing to the last one I was forced to have. A slight shiver wracked my frame when I realized they weren't acting back then.

"The atmosphere is completely different when people don't see me as Naruto. There isn't any tension in the air, and everyone seems more friendly in general. I guess I really am the village's most hated resident."

I frowned slightly at that thought before a shop I recently gained memories of came into view. The general store was simply called Yuki's Shinobi Attire. It mostly catered to the ninja population with its wide selection of durable clothing, shoes, and accessories.

I went into the shop and saw that there was a huge sale which covered a great deal of apparel inside. Any kind of clothing as well as medical tape was forty percent off until the end of next week. However, the shoes that they sold had a different discount of buy one get one half off.

The timing for the sale was perfect since it would most likely drum up a lot more business for them. The graduates would inevitably wind up here for their new ninja clothing while any students would come here for the sale since they're constantly growing anyways. I politely smiled at the cashier as I walked by him before turning to look at the large array of items.

I scanned the store and made my way to a nearby shirt rack. The prices ranged roughly from 400 to 800 ryo. "Excuse me sir. Is the sale price already attached to the clothing or is it discounted from the price shown?"

The clerk looked at me before smiling and saying, "The tags still show the original prices for each item. The discount is taken off when it's purchased at the counter." I thanked him before returning to peruse the rack again.

"Most of the prices roughly average between forty to eighty dollars before the sale. This is actually a good deal for buying ninja clothing."

I went from rack to rack and picked up a large amount of shirts before heading to a dressing room. When I was finished I placed what I wanted to buy at the counter before looking around some more. I went through that process for almost a half hour before I deemed the pile good enough.

When I left the store I was carrying several bags and a slightly less full Gama-chan. I didn't regret my decision at all since I'd rather not walk around as a walking target, and I definitely had some money to spend. Much more than I expected really.

"It's amazing how much he had before I arrived. I wonder if he bought a lottery ticket recently or something. Either way it's pretty convenient."

I headed back home after I purchased the clothing and immediately placed it all on my table once I got inside. Then I separated the apparel by type to see what I was working with. The damage done to my wallet equaled out to five shirts, two jackets, a hoodie, and five pairs of pants for clothing. Other than that I got some medical tape for training later as well as two different pairs of shoes.

I made sure to buy the clothes in a size bigger than I needed so I could grow into them rather than grow out of them right away. It was amazing how much the discount saved me, but what's even more amazing is that I still have a shit ton of ryo in my wallet. I shrugged at the anomaly as I grabbed my new clothing and put the first load into the wash. I was excited to wear something different besides my current outfit that wasn't a bright orange.

I realized shortly after I sorted through my new clothes that I never bought the groceries which I so desperately needed. It wasn't as if I would starve tonight, but there wasn't much to choose from anymore. The fridge was almost empty aside from a carton of juice, and the cupboard was basically bare at this point.

"I guess I'll be eating my first instant cup of ramen later tonight. Well, more like four or five minimum..."

XxXxX

AN: Hey, everyone! I edited this chapter again once I realized it would be funnier, and more realistic, to make chakra control exercises more difficult for Naruto. It's crazy how long this chapter is now since I kept thinking up new scenarios and changing dialogue. I also had to edit certain things out like any mention of having milk since I updated the first two chapters again recently.

- Also thanks for the reviews concerning Naruto's thoughts on living in Konoha. It was weird reading it all back and realizing that I completely glossed over his reaction when he woke up in this chapter. He was almost too calm about everything.

- This chapter used to be called 'Training And A Shopping Spree'. I hope you all like the new version since it has a bit more humor now :) I'll be editing later chapters to reflect any changes soon.

- Edited 7/23/18, 8/16/19