Rage.

Rage.

Rage.

He was so angry, it hurt; so hurt, he was disappointed; so disappointed, he was angry.

And he raged.

The second he'd shoved Belle in her cell, something inside of him broke. He wanted the world around him to be as broken as he felt, to look as shattered as his hope was. He wanted what he saw around him to reflect the storm raging inside of him. So he had.

Room by room by room. Nothing was safe. If it was wooden, he watched it crack, splinter, and break beneath his hands. He tore fabric, watching stuffing of cotton and straw and feathers explode from their bonds. He used magic on precious jewels. He felt oblivion as they turned to dust before him. He smashed glass, shattered mirrors, broke the cabinet shelves, destroyed his tea set-

Nearly. He nearly destroyed his tea set.

He'd been at it for hours, all night and until the sun came up until he ended up back in his Great Room and began to send every last piece of the set he'd once dealt for hurling into the column: sugar bowl, creamer, pitcher, plate after plate, cup after cup after…

It was finally the chipped cup that undid him, that culled his rage and made him feel like he was back in his body. In winding it up to toss it against the column, he'd felt magic on it and remembered…it was the key to Pandora's Box…he'd made it so. But damn it all, that wasn't why the thing was fucking important.

Afraid he might change his mind and break it, he set it down forcefully on the table and walked away. He stalked over to the cabinet he'd destroyed and sat down amid the shards of glass and ruined artifacts. He ran his fingers through his hair and tried to breathe while he shook with the remnants of rage. He wanted to destroy. He wanted to kill. He wanted to go back in time and change all of this. But he couldn't.

It was funny how seeing into the future worked. It was funny how he could get premonitions and see images, sense feelings, without ever really understanding them until sometimes it was too late. Whether he planned for it or not, the future came, sometimes in ways he wanted it to, sometimes in unexpected ways.

He'd known ever since he first saw that cup that it was meant to be important, he'd known it when she dropped it and put a chip in its rim, something that turned it from perfect and whole to flawed, as the Seer wanted. He thought that by making it the key to Pandora's Box, he was fulfilling her prophecy, making it important, but he hadn't been the one to make it important…

She did. It was important because of her. Perfect and beautiful even though it was flawed. It was a treasure. It reminded him of her.

He knew why he was angry. He knew why she'd upset him so much. It wasn't because he believed she was working for Regina, that thought had been far more the Dark One speaking than he was. It wasn't because she tried to trick him or manipulate him. She had, obviously! Someone, he still wasn't willing to rule out Regina, had met her on that road and told her that all curses could be broken with True Loves Kiss. If she loved him, truly, and he loved her, truly, then a kiss would break his curse. It wasn't her fault. She thought that she was helping. She didn't understand how much he needed his curse, how good it was in his life! He wasn't angry at her, she'd just been an easy target.

No, he was angry because if it was love, true love, as she implied…then that was a problem for her, a very serious problem, one that should terrify her. Because if it was true love, then he could do it! Right now. If it was love and he cherished her as much as he knew he did when he looked at the chip on that cup, then he could walk down to that dungeon right this moment, rip her heart from her chest, and cast his Curse himself. There would be no need for Regina, no need to wait. There would be no need to continue to stay so involved in everyone else's fucking lives! He could be free! He could do it and go see Baelfire right now.

But he couldn't. He wasn't strong enough. He wasn't brave enough. The idea of making that Curse excited him…but the idea of losing Belle, of taking her smile out of this world and the next forever, it broke his heart to the point of gut-wrenching sobs. He didn't want to choose Belle, or anything else for that matter, over Bae again! And yet here he was doing it, letting his son down yet again over love!

If it was love…it was. He'd been so stupid. The Seer was always right! He knew when he had those visions, he just hadn't wanted to believe it because he hadn't just wanted her around he'd needed her. That should have tipped him off. If he had listened to her warning when he'd first gotten those visions instead of feeling a need to prove her wrong by keeping her at his side, then this might not have happened. But he'd needed her to be wrong. He'd needed to keep her close to him. He felt good when she was near. He felt comfortable even when there was tension and curiosity between them. He answered her questions even when he knew that he shouldn't. And when they'd kissed…

He'd never felt so much as when she kissed him. He'd never felt so human and whole…because it had worked. It had been working. Her kiss had nearly broken the Curse of the Dark One.

Because it was true love.

And even now, he wanted so bad to keep her. He wanted so badly to go downstairs to throw himself at her feet, to beg forgiveness, to prepare himself so that the next time she kissed him, he wouldn't lose his curse! He wanted to see what this could become. He wanted to keep her and his curse and cast his Curse and go see Bae!

But he couldn't. And it was for all those reasons that it would be dangerous to keep her.

Today he was weak. Today he couldn't bear to end her life for Baelfire, as much as it killed him. But there was no telling how he would react later. He was impulsive, easily overtaken by anger and desire. What if Regina came around again and sought to use her against him? Would he try to prove her wrong by killing her? What if one day he grew tired of waiting? Would he kill her then? What if one day he irked her and she said something he regretted? What if she hated being cooped up inside as Bae had? She wasn't safe here!

And she wouldn't be happy! She said she loved him now, but he knew that True Love could be eternal just as it could be fleeting! She said she loved him, but she didn't want this. She wanted to see the world! She'd said so herself! She didn't want to spend her days lounging away in a castle day after day while he spun and kept secrets and worked magic that would one day separate them anyway!

So the question remained, just as it had for months. What was he to do with her?

He had his answer. If he was honest with himself, he'd known for a long time.

He knew what he had to do. He just didn't want to do it.

This was one of the first chapters I ever wrote for Rumple. Not the first, but one of them. When I considered doing Chronicles and doubted whether or not I had it in me I wrote the "Test Chapters". I tried to find moments where Rumple was feeling a certain way to see if I was comfortable capturing his voice in that emotion. To be honest, a lot of those test chapters have changed and morphed from what they once were. I'd wager this chapter is probably still about 75% intact, maybe even more. I've seen a lot of theories that try and figure out Rumple's upset here; that he's angry at the Queen, that he's sworn never to love again, that the Darkness has taken hold of him. I believed in a few of those until damn near the end of season 1 when we realized Rumple gave Regina the Curse and why he needed it to begin with. Since then I've always believed he was angry for this reason. He was torn. Belle or Bae and in a way he chose Belle which had to be difficult and I could very easily imagine led to...well this...

Thank you to Grace5231973, Jennifer Baratta, and Alarda for your reviews on the last chapter. I realize this might not be the chapter that you were preparing yourself for. But I really wanted a buffer chapter between Rumple screaming at Belle and Rumple sending her away. The angry montage gave me that perfect opportunity. And I know that this chapter is short, just as the last one was, but hopefully now you can see what I saw, that combining them would have been wrong. The kiss, the anger, the rage, the rejection...all of those needed their own chapters to breathe, at least in my opinion. I don't really expect you to "like" this chapter, given it's content, but I suppose because it is one of those early Test Chapters I hope you'll maybe appreciate it. We are not done with Belle yet or the Rumbelle. To be honest, this fiction never really stops being a Rumbelle fic from here on out, it's just up to you to see those subtle hints. Peace and Happy Reading!