ISFNE Chapter 25

Simon POV

I don't know what possessed me to do it. I wasn't going to when I found her, but in the moment she'd just seemed so perfect. She'd looked so relieved to be in my arms and not Colin's and the smile she'd given me had snapped my last thread of self-denial. My hand at her hip had carefully wound behind her back, pulling her closer, and before my brain really caught up with my body, my lips were on hers. Her lips parted slightly as I kissed her and for a second she was kissing me back just as softly – which was my cue to immediately stop kissing her, as much as it went against my every instinct. I carefully pulled away, seeing with a bit of satisfaction that she was not looking at me with fear, but pure surprise as she unknowingly followed me a few inches as I drew back. It had been short and sweet but it was the best kiss I'd ever been lucky enough to have and I carefully logged the moment away with the dress right behind it. "Happy New Year," I said, knowing only she could hear me through the mess of people singing "Auld Lang Synge". I gently pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear and then let my arm drop, stepping back to put some space between us. "We should get going before all these people's rides show up and trap my car here."

She nodded slowly and I took her hand as we walked toward my room so she could grab her coat, which she accepted with a small 'thank you'.

The car ride was silent, but it quickly became clear it was not the comfortable silence we'd had so many times, instead it was nervous and tense. We finally arrived at the bookstore and she wished me a hasty goodnight before practically running to the door before I could respond. That's when the sinking feeling set in. I was getting the distinct impression I'd made a mistake. Alice had run away.

Grams POV

Allison came in hurriedly, face flushed. We were just winding the party down as people gathered their things and greeted her, asking all manner of things about her and the twins. She seemed agitated and answered a few of their prying questions before excusing herself and making her way over to me. "Did the twins behave?"

"Of course, hon, they were fine, they went to bed a while ago. Are you alright? You seem frazzled."

"I'm fine," she said a little too quickly, "I'm going to go to bed, thanks so much for watching the twins."

"It's fine. I'm happy to do so. Are you sure you're okay?" I asked again in concern.

"I'm fine," she restated shortly. "Goodnight, Grams." She said before quickly retreating upstairs.

Something was definitely wrong. Though it was her call to tell me, maybe Simon would have some insight tomorrow during his shift with me.

Allison POV

What was happening. Simon just kissed you. Simon just KISSED you, Faith, my thoughts blared. I quickly shut them down, I couldn't risk Eric picking up on them. I'd been ready for the possibility and then immediately dismissed it only to have it hit me out of left field. And what a kiss it was.

I'd suffered many kinds of kisses from Eric but Simon's was something strange and new. It was gentle, it didn't seek to elicit a response of any sort or take anything. It was a kiss with no ulterior motives and it scared the living daylights out of me. He released me quickly and I stood dumbstruck in the midst of the party.

"Happy New Year," he said, pushing a stray piece of hair behind my ear before finally putting some distance between us. "We should get going before all these people's rides show up and trap my car here," he said immediately afterward. I nodded somehow, my mind still short-circuiting as he took my hand and we started toward the exit, stopping at the first bedroom where he'd thrown my coat which Simon retrieved. I managed to get out a 'thank you' but was unable to look him in the eye.

The car ride back was even worse. The silence stretched so thin I was sure it would break, but I refused to open discussion. Nope, I was shut down and I didn't want Simon to say anything either. The moment we arrived at the bookstore I threw back a 'goodnight' before practically running inside before Simon could have any chance to breach the subject.

I was, of course, not home free yet. I was greeted with what felt like a battery of questions as I entered Grams' party with the neighbors and quickly dismissed as many of them as possible, including Grams' prying. I had to be alone. I finally made it to my room and leaned against the closed door in relief and carefully reached up to touch my lips, feeling disbelief. It stung. It stung that that was what Simon had turned out to be after everything. Why had he done it? And why had I liked it? It cut much deeper than I ever wanted it too and I felt a tear leak out of the corner of my eye. After all this time, and he's finally tipped his hand. He was just like - I didn't finish the thought, it was too painful. Why was everything so wrong? Why did it all hurt so much?

You're not broken, Allison. You just need to heal. And sometimes in order to heal, you have to hurt first. Grant's words came back to me. Is this the kind of pain he meant? It hurt too much. This couldn't be healing, it felt more like I was breaking apart. Don't shy away from that pain. I smiled thinly; shy away, I was turning tail and running. I couldn't do this; I couldn't deal with this. I wasn't going to. I could only bury it, just like I did with everything else. It was the only way I knew to cope.

Chloe POV

Simon returned much later than anticipated, quietly coming in the door as we were cleaning up.

"God, Simon, you took forever! We were getting scared something had happened with all the drunks that could be on the road," Kyle said with concern.

"I'm sorry, I'm fine…just, needed a little time," he responded, sounding far away. He sat down heavily on the couch and picked up an unopened beer in front of him, using a nearby bottle opener to pop off the top and taking a large swig.

"Um…are you sure you're okay?" Kate asked timidly, throwing a few bottles in the recycle.

"Oh, everything's good, I've just ruined…everything," he said, taking another gulp.

That caught our attention. We slowly finished throwing away or recycling what was in our hands and crept nearer.

"Simon? Did something happen that we didn't see?" I asked carefully. "I thought you found Allison? Didn't you just take her home?"

"I kissed her," He said quietly, hanging his head, his hands falling despondently between his legs.

We froze in absolute shock, not knowing what to even say and scared that we'd all say things at once. Kyle gave me a look that pleaded for help. I raised my eyebrows at him and gave him a helpless look, what was I supposed to do?! I wasn't cut out for this. I looked to Kate whose gaze screamed 'DON'T LOOK AT ME, I'll just make it worse somehow!' Which made all of us slowly turn to Grant. He looked surprised for a second, then annoyed but conceded with a curt nod.

"What happened, Simon?" he asked calmly.

"She ran away," he mourned, "I don't understand, she kissed me back."

Grant went to sit on the chair by Simon, "Walk me through everything, Si, what happened?" he repeated taking off and cleaning his glasses.

"She was trying to avoid Colin and I was trying to shield her. She turned to bolt away from him and she ran straight into me," he recounted. "And I don't know what happened exactly, I was holding her and she smiled at me…and suddenly I was kissing her and she was kissing me back," he paused, "and everything was perfect," He said his voice softening as he continued, "And then she let me take her back, not that she had a lot of choice, but she ran into the bookstore with barely a 'goodnight' thrown over her shoulder. And I saw her face in the street light as she did," he took another long sip, "she's terrified of me again. I've ruined absolutely everything."

We stood in silence, none of us knowing what to say.

"Here's your proof that I knew what I was doing when I said I wouldn't," he said, finishing off the bottle at an alarming pace.

"Si, I don't know what to say," I said in a small voice.

"Nothing, there's nothing to be said except that Simon Timmons is a failure," he said, "who just betrayed the trust of the girl he's been trying to befriend for six months."

"Si, I think that's a little much, she's probably just conflicted," I said.

"Yes, you did say she kissed you back," Kate pointed out.

"Yeah see that's good!" I said with over-emphasized cheer, grinning at all of them. Grant looked away tellingly.

"I'm going to bed," Simon announced, "I'll cleanup the rest tomorrow by myself since I was gone so long," he said, closing his door before we could possibly protest.

The group began to disperse but I quickly cleared my throat to bring their attention back. "We have to do something."

"What the hell can we do?" Kyle asked, disheartened. I could feel it throughout the group.

"Guys, we may not have known Allison long, but I think we all agree we want to keep her around. She's kind, she's fun, and I'm sure you as well as I have seen how they look at each other."

"Allison does not look at Simon the way he looks at her, Chloe," Grant debated.

"Fine," I said, "You're right, it's not the same, but she does look at him differently. She's still guarded, but she doesn't look at him with the same fear she does most guys. She's uncertain, and I think that's as good as she gets without much pushing, which Simon has been so unwilling to do."

"He pushed her tonight, that didn't seem to work out well," Grant pointed out.

"She kissed him back," Kate restated, "That's a sign if anything!"

Grant hesitated, so I knew something big was coming. "Oh, no," Kyle said quietly, "What are you about to say."

"It could be a reflex that she's learned. Abuse can lead to self-preservation tactics. Compliance usually being one of them…" he trailed off with a wince.

"Well fuck," Kyle said.

"Yeah," Grant responded.

"You know what," I spoke up after a stale silence, "No. I refuse to believe that. And you know what? I think we need to force a confrontation."

"Things will work out. We can't push them," Grant reasoned.

"Grant have you even met your roommate? Simon is going to retreat like a kicked puppy and I'm willing to bet Allison will under no circumstance approach him either."

"Fine," Grant conceded, "but what concerns me is what the fallout could be. If we force confrontation she could have a breakdown," Grant reasoned.

"And who has best handled her past breakdowns who would be present?" I countered.

"What if they refuse to talk to each other?" Kate asked nervously.

I was momentarily stumped but then I had the most wonderful, awful idea. "Ooh," I said quietly to myself, almost scared to say it aloud it was so perfect and yet terrible at the same time.

"Chlo?" Kate prompted.

"We set the parameters so they have to…" I said more to myself than everyone else.

"Chloe, what's your idea, I'm almost scared to ask," Grant said, taking off his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"We're going to resurrect our favorite undergraduate party favor," I said calmly.

"WHAT," they all practically said in unison.

"No, you can't possibly mean…" Kyle said, "I was kidding earlier."

"I do and I know, but I think you see it's merits." I said solemnly, "We're going to have to tread carefully but I think I have an idea on how to make it work out," I promised. "We're bringing back The Game."