Today is a beautiful day.

"Phineas and Ferb"are owned by Dan Povenmireand Jeff "Swampy" Marshwho both work for Disney(c)(LONG LIVE THE EMPIRE!)

Marissa Flynn owns Marissa

And I own literally everything else this story has to offer (that is to say, Dr. Alice Schnitzel, Applejack, Danni, and other OCs and material)

Enjoy!

P/F/P/F

Phineas was shocked at the turn of events that had been displayed before him. One minute, he had been pinned down by probably the prettiest (and scariest) girl he had ever seen. The next, he was tied up, dangling above a large pool of sharks with the said girl, Isabella, handling the machine that either kept him from being eaten by said creatures, or would send him to his death. No, she was not happy one bit.

"Alright, this opens so many questions," Phineas stated flatly, "One, how did you set this all up so quickly, I didn't even notice the shark tank before. Two, why would you have a shark tank in the first place? And three, all of this because I tapped you on your shoulder; jeez, you're cute, but you're really sensitive."

"Quiet, you misogynist dork!" Isabella snarled, "I am sick of all you boys making a mockery of our female heritage like you did!"

Phineas cocked one of his eyebrows. "Female heritage?" he asked, "Okay, I'm not sexist or anything, but what the heck does that even mean? I didn't even do anything!"

Isabella suddenly shuddered as she looked at Phineas closer. "Okay, change of subject, how do you do that with your eyebrows?" she asked, "They're not even attached to your head. They're just floating…"

Phineas gave the hovering red strands a couple glances of confusion before he slowly realized just how creepy that was. All he could do was shrug, having no idea how to answer the question. Isabella shuddered once again as she turned away. "Seriously, those things are weird," she said, "Ugh…"

"See? You're overly sensitive," Phineas stated, "You need to calm down and apologize for putting me in this situation…though, honestly, getting me out of it will suffice, too."

Isabella glared. "Not until you apologize for laughing at me and catching me off guard!" she shouted.

"Okay, okay, you big crybaby, I'm sorry," Phineas said, far from a sincere tone of voice due to the annoyance in its place, "I apologize, that was rude of me, and I'm a bad person for doing that, a horrible person, even. Can you put me down now?"

Isabella rubbed her chin as she hummed in thought. A small smirk appeared on her face as she crossed her arms. "I want your opinion on some things," she stated, "Answer them correctly, and I'll let you go."

Phineas blinked. "Uh…o-okay," he nodded, "I think that's…reasonable."

"Question number one," Isabella pointed at her hat, "Do you like my hat?"

Phineas tilted his head at Isabella for asking such an innocent question, not giving a verbal answer until he knew for sure that she was being serious. Isabella simply gave a smile to the boy, who continued to stare at her. "…Yes," he answered slowly.

Isabella nodded, satisfied with the answer. "Good," she said, "This sounds promising. So, if a tree falls, and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?"

"Uh…I-I guess it does."

Isabella sat down on a chair, reclining against the wall, grinning at Phineas. The red-headed boy grew increasingly uncomfortable. "Who's better," she proceeded, "Boys or girls?"

Phineas smirked at this. "Why, Isabella," he shook his head, "Don't you believe in equality among the human ra-AH!"

Phineas began to plummet towards the sharks, who hungrily gnashed their teeth, barely missing Phineas, but were able to tear off part of his shirt. The boy shrieked in terror as Isabella watched, waiting for a proper answer. "Girls! Girls are better!" Phineas cried out, "Please, please don't kill me!"

"Good boy," Isabella nodded, pulling the rope holding Phineas back up before asking, "Which is better; briefs or boxers?"

Phineas became even more confused at the question as Isabella simply waited for his answer. He looked around as if expecting there to be cameras videotaping some weird prank. "Uh…boxers, I guess?" he tilted his head further.

"So, you wear boxers?" Isabella asked.

"…I don't need to answer that question," Phineas said, starting to feel uncomfortable.

"Oh I think you do."

"Can we move on, please?"

"But I'd really like to know."

"Yeah, that's kinda personal and-."

"Yawn, I'm getting bored; I think I'll just flip this switch and watch you get eaten by sharks; sounds much more fun."

Isabella slowly reached for the handle as Phineas struggled in the ropes, shrieking in terror before he finally decided to give in. He sighed. "…I'm…uh…" he muttered to softly for anyone to hear.

Isabella grinned evilly. "Enunciate," she sang, "Or we may not be able to understand you~."

Phineas glared at Isabella's cruelty and sighed. "I'm…not…wearing any…at this moment," the boy grumbled, his face turning red.

Isabella giggled. "And why is that?" she wondered, "I am curious…"

Phineas stared at Isabella exasperatedly as the Firestorm Leader waited patiently. He grew tired of this and glared. "You know what?" he sighed, "Just feed me to the sharks. I don't care anymore."

Isabella folded her hands together. "Are you sure?" she asked, "This is a lot of fun for me, to be honest."

As Phineas glared hatefully at Isabella, who simply continued to wait for the boy to answer before doing as he asked, the walls of the room suddenly exploded. Doofenshmirtz and Schnitze walked in, covered in blood, and holding a large weapon of some kind that no real human being would be able to lift up. Doofenshmirtz grinned knowingly at the shocked Phineas and Isabella while Schnitzel rolled her eyes at the arrogant dictator. "We have killed everyone in the base," Schnitzel announced, "Release the boy at once!"

Phineas grinned. "Guys, thank god you're-!" he paused, "Wait…you killed everyone in the base? Even Candace?!"

Doofenshmirtz shook his head. "Just most of the people in the base," he explained, "Everyone else is being held hostage in the cafeteria room. Schnitzel's overreacting because she's having a mental breakdown from witnessing murder ten times more than she usually does."

"So much death…" Schnitzel stared down at the floor with near-soulless eyes, "So much death…"

Doofenshmirtz looked at Schnitzel, almost feeling guilty as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, we might've gone a little overboard," he paused, "And that's coming from me."

"She seems fine to me," Phineas admitted, "Also, what took you jerks so long?"

Schnitzel, seemingly calmed down by the boy's 'loving' insult, smiled. "Well, we had an incredible journey of self-discovery," she stated, "Your father and I are currently in a state of emotional solution and-."

"Oh, god, you and Schnitzel finally got each other laid?!" Phineas said, looking surprisingly pleased by this, "Alright, dad!"

"What?! NO!" Doofenshmirtz glared exasperatedly in disgust, "Dude, no, no, we don't even-AUGH! Son! When we get home, you're grounded for, like, twenty years for even thinking, ugh…gross…I have more standards than that, you freak!"

Schnitzel, feeling very unloved, walked to a corner and sobbed to herself as Doofenshmirtz continued scolding his son in fast pace for having such disgusting thoughts. Phineas simply gave a "you know you want it" look at his father, whose anger rose. Isabella took the apparent family reunion with a grain of salt, and had the same look that Phineas did. After an hour of ranting, Doofenshmirtz calmed down with a sigh. "But in all seriousness," he said, "We killed a Monkey God that wasn't actually a god, and a half-pint banana-man."

Phineas stared. "…What?" he blinked.

Doofenshmirtz shrugged. "I'd explain what that means," he said, "But then I'd be ruining this 'amazing' story for all these pathetic, worthless teenaged filth reading this crap."

Suddenly, a said teen with strange blue hair and floral attire burst in from the back room, running in as she laughed nervously at the audience, who were exceedingly insulted by Doofenshmirtz's comment. "I apologize for that comment," she shrieked, "He doesn't mean it one bit! You're all beautiful people!"

"You live in your mother's basement!" Doofenshmirtz shouted, earning more groans and rotten tomatoes that he graciously accepted, "Get a job, you lifeless schmucks!"

The teen gave a harsh glare to Doofenshmirtz, who was not affected at all. By this point, she wished that she was working with the other version of her senpai instead of working with this jerk. Hell, she'd rather be working with any of the other versions than with these insane muckers. She took out a spray bottle, walked over to the powerful dictator, and pursued to spray him in the face in the middle of another one of his insults. Doofenshmirtz hissed at the girl, threatening to scratch her in the face.

"Don't do that," Phineas warned, "He's feral!"

"Use a roll of newspaper instead," Isabella suggested, "That's much more effective."

The teen nodded at this and took out said roll of newspaper, smacking Doofenshmirtz on the head a few times with the object before he grabbed the roll from her hand and started hitting her with it to see how she felt. The teen ran away, telling him to "knock it off" while Doofenshmirtz laughed at her misery like a crazed loon. Phineas and Isabella watched this, laughing.

"Oh, man, I didn't think she'd fall for that," Phineas chuckled.

"I did," Isabella cackled shaking her head, "Such an idiot…"

"Back! Back I say," the teen shouted as she took out a chair and smacked Doofenshmirtz on the head with it; which wasn't a good idea as he proceeded to grab it and throw it to the side, hitting Schnitzel on the head as she turned around to see what was going on. The teen stared at Doofenshmirtz, saying pleadingly, "Don't kill me! I'm too pretty to die!"

"Says your mother," Doofenshmirtz smirked.

"Don't bring my mom into this!" the teen yelled, "She's a wonderful woman! I swear, I will perform an autopsy on your still conscience body if you continue to insult my family!"

Doofenhsmirtz rolled his eye. "Sheesh, you're so sensitive," he said.

Phineas smirked. "I know, right?" he asked, "Same with Isabella. They must be crushing on us."

Doofenshmirtz nodded before cringing and looking to the teen. "Look, I'm like, fourty-six," he stated, "And you're, what, sixteen?"

"Nineteen," the teen muttered, looking to the side, "And no, that's not why I-!"

"Look, the point is simple," Doofenshmirtz stated with a calm smile as he patted the teen on her shoulder, "No matter how hard you try, no matter how you look, and no matter how nice of a person you are, I will never love you. Heck, I don't think I even like you. I find your kind to be disturbing."

As the teen proceeded to join Schnitzel, who was on the floor groaning in pain, in her corner to weep, Doofenshmirtz grinned. Phineas and Isabella frowned. "Dude, that's messed up," Phineas shook his head, "I mean, Schnitzel's one thing, but at least that psychopath is what keeps our universe going anyway."

Doofenshmirtz shrugged and looked back at the audience. "Now where was I?" he hummed, "Oh yeah! You're all losers, get a life, we don't want your kind here!"

Isabella glared. "Dude, what is your problem?" she asked.

"Yeah, dad, you're acting more of a jerk than usual," Phineas stated, "And…now that I think about it, I'm not sure this is even realistic. Weren't you and Schnitzel in the forest of living plants or something?"

Doofenshmirtz looked up at his son. "How do you even know that?" he asked, tilting his head.

Phineas somehow managed to squeezed his arms out of the bindings and took out a large flab of paper stapled together; it was titled "Yard Bird, written by Galaxina-the-Seedrian" with the worst handwriting a teenager could conceive. "I read the script," Phineas said, opening the script and reading from it, "You caused Schnitzel to crash in a blimp…I can't tell which is more excessive; the fact you tried to kill her for attempting to save me, or the fact she was using a blimp to get here."

"Wait, seriously?" Isabella looked at Doofenshmirtz in confusion, "Why'd you try to kill someone who was going to rescue your kid?"

Doofenshmirtz blinked at the little girl, thinking through his own thought process before he kindly told her to, "Shut up."

Just as Doofenshmirtz spoke, Schnitzel slowly sat up, groaning in pain as she rubbed her head. "I feel something warm running down my head, Heinz," she whined a little.

Doofenshmirtz grinned, giving the girl a thumbs up. "It's called blood!" he stated, "Congrats! You are having a concussion!"

Schnitzel whined in pain before she felt the teen clinging to her tightly, sobbing her eyes out onto her black coat. Schnitzel's vision began to fade ever so slightly as the world around her began to shake a little. She squinted her eyes at Doofenshmirtz as the man continued to insult the audience as Phineas and Isabella continued to ask what the heck was with his behavior. All the noise was hurting Schnitzel's head.

Suddenly, another door slammed open, and Marissa entered the room. "Oh my god, will you people please SHUT UP!?" she shouted, "I am trying to mope quietly in my room of solitary confinement in peace, and your freaking shout-fest is making that impossible!"

Marissa looked around at the chaos before her, shrugging at the angry audience and bleeding/crying Schnitzel before noticing Phineas hanging from the ceiling. "What the hell is going on in here?!" she demanded.

Isabella gasped. "Marissa!" she covered her mouth, tears of joy coming into her eyes as Marissa marched over to her, "Oh, Marissa, you're talking properly! It's a mira-ACK!"

Isabella struggled in Marissa's grip as she was raised up by the throat, being forced to look at Marissa in the eyes. "Put my adorable little sugar muffin down this instant!" she demanded in an unholy voice.

"Sugar muffin?" Phineas and Doofenshmirtz asked in unison, giving each other uncomfortable glances as Marissa seemed to be covered in a dark aura; still, it didn't stop Doofenshmirtz from cracking a mocking grin that Phineas promised to punch off the moment he was freed.

Isabella cried out in terror, begging for mercy as she was dropped to the floor, and immediately scrambled to her feet to do as Marissa said. The usually quiet, sweet teen tapped her foot impatiently while giving a look that made Isabella start to cry a little. Doofenshmirtz whistled, impressed by this totally random girl's actions. "Wow," he laughed, "I've never seen someone with such prowess in anger before!"

However, he soon replaced his smile with a look of terror as Isabella pulled the wrong lever, which sent Phineas plummeting into the shark tank. Everyone stared in silence, stopping what they were doing as the sharks began to attack Phineas, who screamed, "OH MY GOD, AAAAAH! I CANNOT BE IN ANY WORSE PAIN RIGHT NOW!"

Marissa stared in the most horror, tears entering her eyes as she fell to her knees, watching the boy being torn to pieces in front of her. Isabella fell to the floor, hugging her knees, sobbing out of fear of what Marissa was now planning for her. Doofenshmirtz walked over to the two girls and hugged them both comfortingly. "Well…this is depressing," Doofenshmirtz sighed, coughing a little, "Another one of my children just died…is…is it weird that I'm numb to this?"

"My…my poor…sniffle," Marissa cried into Doofenshmirtz's side woefully, "Oh, my dear friend, I'm sorry I couldn't save you…"

"THEIR TEARING AT MY INNARDS, SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

"He's in a better place now," Doofenshmirtz sighed sadly as he patted Marissa on the head, "You will be missed, Phineas Funderburger Doofenshmirtz."

"I'M STILL ALIVE AND IN A LOT OF-wait, FUNDERBURGER?! THAT'S MY MIDDLE NAME?! YOU CHOSE FUNDERBURGER YOU PR-OH GOD THEY'RE EATING MY FLOATING EYEBROWS!"

Schnitzel moaned again, earning everyone's attention. "I'm starting to forget things," she whimpered, "Where am I and why does my head hurt? Who am I? What's the meaning of life?!"

Everyone proceeded to throw random objects at Schnitzel, telling her to shut up. Schnitzel ran away, crying as she kept on either running into walls or tripping over the corpses of hers and Doofenshmirtz's victims. Doofenshmirtz, Marissa, and Isabella continued to mourn the loss of Phineas, who was continuing to scream for one of them to help him, as he was still alive. The teen continued to hug her knees, sobbing to herself.

(~)

Galaxina-the-Seedrian looked to her friends, Marissa Flynn and woodland59, with an excited look on her face as she folded her hands together. "So," she sang, "What do you guys think?"

The two girls stared at their clearly mentally insane friend with a disturbed stare on their faces, glancing to each other in wonder. Woodland59 took a small step back while Marissa took another look at the story. "Uh…it's…definitely interesting," Marissa Flynn cleared her throat, "It's just…well…maybe you may want to consider…a different ending?"

"Y-yeah," woodland59 nodded vigorously from behind Marissa Flynn, "I mean…don't you think this comes outta nowhere?"

"Well, that'll be the big twist," Galaxina-the-Seedrian said, "Imagine the look on everyone's faces when they realize this'll be the end of the series! Seems like something I'd do, right?"

Marissa Flynn and woodland59 gave another worried glance at each other that Galaxina-the-Seedrian seemed completely oblivious to. "Look…we're just saying that this seems a bit…" Marissa Flynn made a bit of a motion with her hands trying to find the nicest way of saying this, "Uh…morbid."

"What, you mean too morbid for MY tastes?" Galaxina-the-Seedrian laughed, "Girl, have you read any of my content? I'm pretty sure morbidity is the least of your worries."

As the blue-haired teen started to laugh madly, woodland59 leaned into Marissa Flynn's ear and whispered, "I think we should hide in the bunker, don't you think?"

"I don't think that place is safe for us anymore," Marissa Flynn whispered back, trying to quell back her terror as she cleared her throat, "Think of it like this, Gala, dear; what about the endings for the characters you planned for them? What about the other stories you intended? Is this really how you want this to end?"

Galaxina-the-Seedrian hummed to herself in thought as woodland59 nodded in agreement. "Yeah," she added, "And what about my OC! You said you were gonna put her in! You promised!"

Marissa Flynn glanced to the side, muttering so that no one could hear her complaints, "Not to mention my OC is completely out of character, I mean, c'mon…you went a little overboard there…" she added the next one loudly as if it had to be said, "And how dare you put Phineas through that torture, you psycho!"

Immediately, Marissa Flynn apologized profusely for her insult, but Galaxina-the-Seedrian simply continued humming louder in thought to herself as she looked back to her computer. By now, Marissa Flynn and woodland59 were wondering if the crazed girl was even listening to them. Galaxina-the-Seedrian suddenly shrugged off anything they said. "Yeah, I don't care," she said earning the shocked looks from her friends, "My fic, my rules! Time to upload this baby to the world!"

Marissa Flynn and woodland59 shrieked in horror as they tried to stop Galaxina-the-Seedrian from doing anything rash in slow-motion. Galaxina-the-Seedrian stared at her friends before she shrugged and proceeded to log into FanFiction, cackling evilly at the screen before a screen popped up, indicating that the internet access was not working. Galaxina-the-Seedrian and her friends stared at the screen silently.

"…Uh…so," Marissa Flynn rubbed her arm awkwardly, "That happened."

"…"

"…Gala, are you okay?" woodland59 asked, tilting her head, "Gala…Marissa, she's not responding. Is that a good thing or…?"

Marissa Flynn sighed shaking her head. "Give her a moment," she said as her hands showed her mentally counting down from five.

A few seconds later, Galaxina-the-Seedrian proceeded to attack her computer, calling it names, and throwing it around like a crazed toddler. As woodland59 stared at the carnage before her with wide-eyes, Marissa Flynn, who was surprisingly chill, simply began to drink a soda. "You'll get used to this," she sighed, "This happens every time she tries to piss off the fandom."

"Wait…she's trying to piss off the fandom?!" woodland59 looked at Marissa Flynn in shock, "Why would she do that?!"

Marissa Flynn sighed again, glaring at the wall as winds began to blow in the room dramatically, confusing woodland59 as she said that she swore all the windows were closed. Marissa Flynn stared at the calendar.

"It's April Fool's Day."

As Marissa Flynn and woodland59 continued to watch Galaxina-the-Seedrian's fall into madness, the three titular characters of the said story, Doofenshmirtz, Phineas, and Schnitzel, walked in. "Yo, Gala, are you done with the script for the next train-wreck yet?" Phineas asked before he noticed what Doofenshmirtz and Schnitzel immediately saw; Galaxina-the-Seedrian chewing on the keyboard in a fit of rage.

Doofenshmirtz looked at Marissa Flynn and woodland59, who simply shrugged at him before he looked to Phineas and Schnitzel with an unimpressed look on his face. "The internet shut down on her again," he sighed.

Schnitzel rolled her eyes and proceeded to walk out of the room, grumbling something along the lines of, "I'll get the tranquilizer."

A/N:

I am so sorry; this was done out of bad taste, and since it's April Fool's and all…yeah. I'll be working on the actual next chapter right now. Again, I am so sorry. X'D

Have a great day everyone, and please don't come to my house and burn me! :D

-GTS