The store is almost completely dark, low lights illuminate the clothes that are surrounding the walls. Through the middle of the floor are stalls closed off with curtains; changing rooms. Loud music flows through the tiny space. I've never been in a store like this and it's actually quite overwhelming. The prices here are ridiculous, much more than I'd ever ask anyone to spend on me, especially someone who I've just met. I can't bring myself to believe that Cook actually shops here on a normal basis.
"Find anything you like?" Cook questions as he steps out of one of the changing rooms. He's got on a pair of charcoal jeans and a black shirt with a red jacket on over the top. I have to applaud whoever taught him to dress. He does look quite smashing.
"Everything's so expensive," I comment as I continue to look through the racks. "I can't imagine ever spending this much on clothing."
"Do you like this?" Cook responds, ignoring my previous concern. He holds out a red and black plaid dress. It's short with long sleeves and some tulle around the bottom. It's the same one I picked up when we first walked in. The black combat boots I'm wearing would work perfect with it. Cook had been paying attention.
"It's okay," I answer back, hoping my lust for the dress would not show in my eyes.
"It's settled then. Just gotta change and then we'll be on our way."
Letting out a defeated sigh I watch as Cook disappears back inside the dressing room. I plop down in one of the benches at the end of the changing rooms and turn on my phone. There are two new missed calls from my dad and a slew of texts. I scroll through my contacts until I get to her name. The phone rings four times before switching me over to voicemail.
"This is Caroline…you know what to do." Beep.
For a few seconds I don't stay anything. This can't actually be real. "I miss you. Please come back. Everything's all fucked now. We need you."
"Who are you talking to?" Cook questions coming up behind me. I jump, my phone falling to the floor.
"No one," I respond quickly before gathering up my phone. The crack in the corner has crept forward a little. "Come one let's just go."
I stand and head towards the counter. Cook puts everything down, pulling out money to pay for everything. The clerk checks it a couple times to make sure it's all there and everything is real. I guess we don't look like people who shop in here. She's actually being quite rude.
"I'm going for a fag," I mumble before moving towards the door.
I take in deep breaths of fresh air as I pull out my cigarettes and a lighter. Something doesn't feel right. He's being too nice. This is how these kind of things start. Sliding down the wall I let the fire lick the end of my cigarette. I inhale trying to get my thoughts to stop racing. Cook doesn't want to hurt me. The light begins to dim and I can feel my body going ridged. I grasp at the real world, trying to hold on to this invisible cliff that I've created. My fingers are slippery. I'm going to fall. I start to shake.
"Annabelle…Annabelle," I feel hands on the side of my face but everything's weird. It's like they're reaching at me from a thousand miles away. I struggle to go towards them. "Hey, it's Cook. Calm down. You're okay."
When things finally begin to focus I'm pulled against Cook's chest, his arms wrapped tightly around me. He's petting my hair, gently rocking me back and forth. I can feel tears clinging to my cheeks. I try and wipe them away but my hands won't reach my face.
"I'm okay now," I say softly, hand curling around Cook's arms. He's warm and I feel safe here; like I won't ever have to worry about slipping away ever again.
Blue eyes meet mine. They're searching for any hint of a lie. "You scared the shit out of me Annabelle. What the fuck happened?"
I'm lifted off the ground and carried towards the car. "I can walk."
"Of course you can, you've got legs. I'm just not so sure they're gonna work right now," Cook responds, his eyes flicking down to my face. "Annabelle you've gotta tell me what happened back there."
"I thought we said no questions," I respond, stiffening my jaw. This isn't gonna turn in to some kind of double standard thing. If I can't ask Cook any questions he doesn't get to ask me any. Cook sighs putting me down by the car door. I pull it open and climb inside, pulling my knees up to my chin. This is all wrong. I'm not supposed to be slipping away. I'm not supposed to be weak anymore. "I'm sorry you had to see that."
"I just wanna make sure you're okay babes. Do you need anything?"
"Coffee. Cook…why are you being so nice to me?"
"You remind me of someone."
"Did you love her?"
"More than anything else."
"What happened?"
Cook's gaze shifts from the road over towards me for a split second. I'm worried he's gonna get upset again but for now I have him talking. I don't want that to stop.
"She didn't love me back."
I reach across the car and place my hand on Cook's knee. He takes a hand off the steering wheel and places it over mine. "It's okay though. Nothing good ever stays with me. I've just gotten used to it."
"Cook," a few tears run down my face.
"I can't lose anything else Annabelle."
"I'm not going anywhere Cook."
"Boo," I giggle, jumping on to Cook's back and covering his eyes with my hands. I lay my lips on his cheek for a second before pulling away. There is a light pink lipstick mark.
Cook slides his arms under my butt, continuing to walk through the isles of the furniture store. He's been acting very serious since the car ride and all I want to do is lighten the mood. I don't want him to feel like his confession is any kind of burden. If he feels that way I may never get another one.
"What're you doing Annabelle?"
"I'm just having a bit of fun," I respond as I'm placed back down on the carpeted floor. "I scared the shit out of a little boy and his mum. I hid under the bed and then decided to come and find you about the time they turned the corner."
Cook maintains a blank expression his eyes fixed on a black sofa in front of us. "What do you think of this one?"
"Do they have it in red?"
"Red?"
"Red is fun Cook. Can't you have a bit of fun? Forget about all the shit that's happened in you life for a millisecond and just live. We waste so much time waiting for life to start…for things to get better that we forget we are actually living right here and right now."
"Says the girl who freaks out and can't even stay in the present," Cook retorts.
My smile shatters like a mirror hit by a hammer. I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart. "Get whatever you want. I'll wait for you by the car."
With that I run from the store, shoving past a sales associate and pushing the doors open with a violent thrust. It's started snowing again and the air stings as tears begin to slide down my face. I beat on the brick façade of the building until my knuckles become bloody. "Fuck!"
"Annabelle…" a voice behind me says temporarily pulling me out of my rage.
"Fuck you Cook," I respond back turning to slap him in the face. He catches my hand in his but allows my other to beat his chest, getting blood on his shirt. "Fuck you."
"Let's just go."
The ride home is quite. Cook doesn't try and fix things. I try my best to get my knuckles to stop bleeding. They throb and my hands are starting to shake from the pain.
"Cook, I'm going home."
He doesn't answer.
Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who is reading and leaving reviews. Reviews give me the drive to keep writing my stories plus I always love to know what you guys think. :)