So, it's been a while since Phineas and Ferb ended, hasn't it? Like, their anniversary passed and I posted NOTHING for it. I'm still really sad about that…buuuuuuuuuuutttttt…Milo Murphy's Law is pretty rad. I mean, I don't plan on writing any fics with MML any time soon, but I enjoy watching it as much as PnF, so…not the end of the world. XD Too bad, though, I was looking forward to watching the destruction and pillaging of society as we know it (Also, I've been getting into this show called "Camp Camp", and it's…surprisingly addictive…I actually MIGHT post a fan fic about that series sometime)

If any of you say a Trump joke in the review, by the way, I will kill you. I mean it. I get that enough from Tumblr. I am a hundred percent done with internet politics.

That aside, life has been a pain, man. My Drawing class wasn't as good as I thought it was gonna be (we basically did the same thing in different ways over and over and over…it was pretty tedious), but my Composition class was at least decent. I saw Psycho this year and…it was actually pretty good. Very good even. I think it might even be one of my favorite films now. And thriller/horror are my least favorite movie genres of all time!

But enough about me and my life several months ago, who cares about that?

Also, don't worry, I'm gonna try to update SummerTale next, along with uploading another fic because I like piling my plate with more ideas I don't have time for.

"Phineas and Ferb"are owned by Dan Povenmireand Jeff "Swampy" Marshwho both work for Disney(c)(LONG LIVE THE EMPIRE!)

Marissa Flynn owns Marissa

woodland59 owns Madison

And I own literally everything else this story has to offer (that is to say, Dr. Alice Schnitzel, Applejack, Danni, and other OCs and material)

Enjoy~!

P/F/P/F

"Okay, so according to the Firestorm Girls training manual, we can find water in cacti…yes, Gretchen?"

The second in command of the group of girls currently undergoing a Dessert simulation lowered her hand. "Exactly why do we need to go through this particular simulation again? There aren't exactly any desserts in the Tri-State Area."

"Maybe some dunes," Milly suggested, "But…I dunno, can we find cacti in the dunes?"

"Just giant hills of sand leading to a beach, maybe," Holly shrugged, "At least that's what I heard. I've never been to the dunes personally."

Ginger smiled shyly. "My sister and I went there once on a mission," she sighed, "It was nice. The water was so cool-."

"Girls," Isabella shouted, "Focus! If we wanna actually get this done by the end of the day, the I suggest leaning away from the temptation of falling into tangents."

Gretchen tilted her head. "I still don't see the point," she admitted, "The jungle simulations kinda make sense, and so does the mountain simulations considering Mt. Danville, but all the other simulations seem rather pointless. It's like Dr. Baljeet just downloaded some random fields for the sake of giving us more to do."

"…I downloaded the simulations," Isabella muttered under her breath before clearing her throat, "Anyways, the training manual says that going through this simulation will help increase stamina, and help with other heat-related situations."

Holly frowned. "Are you sure that's what the manual says?" she asked, "Who even wrote that? When would any of us ever be in that kind of situation?"

Isabella cut off the fellow Firestorm girl, leaning into her face. "Do NOT mock the training manual!" she commanded "Remember what happened with Adyson getting heat stroke? This stuff could happen!"

"Yeah, but that happened during this simulation," Holly countered with a shrug.

"It still is happening," Katie called from a few ways from the group, dragging a barely conscious Adyson along, "Only now she thinks there are salamanders dancing to that one annoying song that Gretchen likes to listen to."

"Hey! The Macarena is a catchy song!"

As Adyson let out a drunken giggle, the hallucination still lingering on, Isabella sighed and shook her head. "Alright," she said, "Guess it's time for a break then."

(~)

Buford's intricately made plan was a simple one, and Phineas had to admit that much to him at the very least. Yet he found himself questioning ever-the-more his own forced involvement in the situation regardless of his friend's innocent intentions, not that they were even that. First of all, even though he respected revenge schemes and had his fair shares of the gags (mostly towards Doofenshmirtz and Schnitzel if he was going to be totally honest), there were limitations to what he would do. Not due to moral obligation, though that was a part in some of it, but mostly because he knew the difference between snow and fire.

For those of you who fail to remember, the Firestorm Girls consisted of about seven girls Isabella included, and were quite skilled in their craft. What they lacked in body weight and strength compared to that of their male "counterparts", they made up in numbers. On the other hand, while the girls spent the hours training to the point of exhaustion, Baljeet and Irving would likely stand little a chance in a fight as far as Phineas was aware of, and Phineas himself seemed to have a thing for running rather than fighting (though you may argue that he stood quite the chance against the mutants, may I remind you that the sniveling coward known as Schnitzel also held herself well against them for a short amount of time; as fearsome as they were compared to that of a normal human being, they were, eventually to the three of them, no big deal).

Buford was the only one who was truly confrontational among the four of them. Thusly, if anything were to backfire on them, he'd be their only line of defense. Though he was arguably the strongest, and had it been a battle of mere brawns that day in the cafeteria, Buford would've probably slaughtered Isabella to the ground with no sweat. But Phineas reiterated the fact that this was one fat male against seven more agile little girls whose numbers clearly outweighed him.

Phineas proceeded to shake his head. Clearly Buford wasn't the brightest.

Regardless, he was involved, and there wasn't much he could do to get himself out of it. And honestly, after they managed to persuade him with candy, he didn't want to say no. The boy was, apparently, a total sweet-tooth after rediscovering the phenomenon that was sweets and sugary confections, and such things were easy to use to bribe him into the most ridiculous of circumstances. Perhaps, he thought to himself, that he shouldn't really be criticizing Buford's lack of intelligence if he was willing to risk his butt over a couple lollipops (though to his credit, they were really good lollipops).

The plan revolved around the Firestorm Girls' bio-dome training facility; all they had to do was sabotage it as such. Phineas, of course, not exactly knowing what such a feat would entail, feared the worst at this point, and yet had come to realize that he'd probably had seen far, far worse than whatever the bully could create for his image to perceive. From what he could understand, the bio-dome was yet another creation of Dr. Baljeet's (and you could only imagine the utter frustration of his own involvement in the tampering of his own freaking machine) and that it was designed to generate almost any kind of environment.

Phineas could see it now: Buford transforming the entire arena into a swirling vortex of terror whilst they were climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro.

Luckily, even as he accidentally said this idea out loud, they managed to calmly persuade Buford out of actually going through with it…well, kind of. Sort of? Okay, yeah, considering the height and weight advantage Buford had on the other three boys…maybe calmly is putting it lightly?

"Buford, seriously, I was just kidding!" Phineas exclaimed as he ever so desperately tried to keep him away from the control panel of the machine. Why no one was left behind to guard it, he would never know. Maybe one of the Firestorm Girls took a stupid pill this morning, but he wasn't one to judge.

"Buford, think this through for once," Dr. Baljeet grunted as he, Irving, and Phineas, in that order, latched onto the boy twice their size and attempted to pull him away from the controls, "You could seriously injure one of them, or worse!"

Irving probably provided the least amount of assistance. Not from lack of trying, but it was clear most of the effort of keeping the idiot at bay relied heavily on Phineas and Baljeet, while Irving was too much of a backslapper to do more than limply hanging onto Buford's arm, and was easily lifted into the air. Granted, Phineas and Dr. Baljeet's attempts weren't anything to write home about, and Buford practically carried the three of them over to the control panel with relative ease.

"Cmon, it'll be fun," Buford grinned evilly at his comrades, "Besides, they're askin' for it. Just look at 'em, always actin' like they're better than us in every way shape and form…"

"Is that not what you do?" Baljeet asked flatly.

Buford smirked. "Yeah, but only because I really AM better than they are," he said matter-of-factly.

"I'm with Dr. Baljeet on this one, Byoof," Phineas eyed the control panel carefully; he felt like it would've made so much more sense, and would've been safer to boot, if the controls were inside the dome instead of out there where people like Buford could manhandle them, "We might get someone hurt…though that would give us an advantage if they were to find us here…actually yeah, yeah, if the right amount of them were-."

"ARE YOU LISTENING TO YOURSELF?!" Dr. Baljeet screeched at the triangle-headed boy, and Phineas could hear his brain practically shatter from the sound being so close to his hearing. Curse the high-pitched nerd being right flipping next to him. "Priorities Phineas!"

"Right, right," Phineas nodded in agreement and crossed his arms, "Buford. We are a hundred percent against this plan," he nodded towards the member who was most quiet, "Irving included."

Irving winced. "Please don't bring me into this…" he whimpered.

Buford rolled his eyes. "Well, I'm the leader here, so you don't get a vote," he sniped.

"Who said anything about voting?" Phineas blinked, "We're just not doing it. Period. You can't make us do jack."

"And since I am the only one who knows how to work this mechanism between the four of us," Dr. Baljeet trailed off into a bit of an arrogant chuckle.

"Besides, what if they're NOT climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro?" Phineas asked, "What if they were underwater?"

"Whirlpool," Buford suggested.

"Or a jungle?"

"Tiger attack."

"Do tigers even live in jungles?"

"Heck if I care. I just want some good old revenge."

"And nearly bringing death upon them is a viable solution? Really, Byoof, that sounds pretty harsh."

"It's a simulation! It's not gonna actually kill them. Trust me, most of the stuff in there's probably gonna cause them a couple bruises at most. The mountains in there are made of paper machete, ya' know."

Dr. Baljeet sighed. "Papier-Mache, Buford," he rubbed his temples, not noticing Phineas humming in his own thoughts given the newfound information, "And that doesn't mean they won't get hurt in any-…Phineas, are you seriously thinking about this? AGAIN?!"

Phineas nodded. "He has a point if most of the stuff there is fake," he said, "What's the real harm if we do go with his plan? As his friends, shouldn't we back him up, given that his 'honor' was slaughtered the other day?"

Irving quietly stepped forward. "Um…they do have a point," he softly inserted, "Besides, the Firestorm Girls are kinda mean…and scary…"

Another long winding heave left Dr. Baljeet's mouth as he covered his entire face with his hands, now convinced that he was surrounded by idiots. Irving blinked, wondering if he should've said anything before finally deciding to remain totally silent for the rest of the debate. Dr. Baljeet motioned to the machine. "On one hand," he said, "They could possibly be injured by the ordeal; fake or not, that doesn't mean any distraction or diversion won't cause them harm. What if they were climbing something and suddenly there was an unplanned storm simulation? They'd probably fall, and the height is most likely more of a reality than the mountain is, even if there ARE safety measures provided."

Phineas hummed again. "That's…a good point…" he admitted still thinking, "Plus I really don't want Isabella getting hurt…"

Buford glowered at Phineas, unaware that the boy was, at this point, talking to himself. Dr. Baljeet continued. "And on the other hand," he stated, "If they ARE NOT injured, then they will most likely proceed to break our legs, arms, and other limbs we might have."

"Arms and legs are the only limbs we really have technically," Irving finally managed to speak only to gain a glare from the doctor in the process. Poor Irving shrunk back, whimpering; why was his mouth working against him today?

Dr. Baljeet gave yet another dramatic breath, and motioned his arms in a specific way. "So with that in mind," he said, "I urge you all to recognize that this," he motioned back to the machine once more, "Is a bad idea."

After a moment, Phineas and Buford hummed simultaneously, while Irving simply went along with whatever Dr. Baljeet said and quietly went over to his side. Phineas nodded. "Yes, he makes a good point," Phineas stated, and looked at Buford, "It's a pretty stupid idea, Byoof. Sorry."

Buford sighed. "Well, time for plan B then…"

Phineas, Dr. Baljeet, and Irving all glanced at each other in confusing, not noticing Buford taking out his weapon of destruction before it was too late. The three shrieked as Buford proceeded to slam down a rather large wooden hammer onto the control panel, immediately creating massive, irreversible damage to the machine as a whole. Dr. Baljeet screamed in horror. "MY BABY!"

"BUFORD!" Phineas slapped his hands to the sides of his head, "What the ever loving hell have you done?!"

Buford snickered as he looked at the dome, ignoring the panicked noises coming from his friends. "I have absolutely NO idea, but it's gonna be so worth it!"

"You are an absolute moron, Buford!"

Irving proceeded to faint on the spot, his poor heart not being able to take all the growing chaos. Dr. Baljeet continued to sob over his destroyed creation while Buford seemed rather proud of himself. Phineas sighed. "Okay, let's not panic," he breathed, "We can fix this…Dr. Baljeet, are there any tools nearby?"

Whatever answer Dr. Baljeet gave came out as muddled cries of desperation and mourning, unable to be properly translated by mere human tongue. Phineas sighed, rolling his eyes before going over to Irving, raising him up by the collar, and giving him a couple smacks to the face. Irving squeaked back into life, and shrunk down at Phineas' gaze. Phineas released Irving. "Okay," he said calmly, "Irving? Do you know if there are any tools nearby? Baljeet has been overrun with turmoil to really say anything of use to me."

Irving looked down to his feet before quietly responding, "There's some in the closet over there…?"

Phineas smiled. "Thank you, Irving," he nodded, and Irving seemed to brighten up a smidge at this; no one ever acknowledged his help before, much less thank him, "Can you go get those for me then? I need to smack Baljeet back to reality so he can help me fix this."

Irving grinned and nodded before he and Phineas were grabbed by the back of their shirts and lifted back into the air by Buford. Phineas groaned. "Seriously, Byoof?! Seriously?!"

"At least wait this out and see where it goes," Buford grinned.

"I like you, man, you're really cool, but you are an asshole!"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now, put me down before I kick your butt to next Tuesday!"

"Phineas, a punching bag could beat you to submission. No offense. It's just facts, man."

Phineas opened his mouth to give a clever retort, but found that his pride had been marred too greatly to cause any real damage. Instead, he attempted to reach out and pinch Buford's neck, and when this failed tried to flail out of his grasp. When all options proved useless, Phineas sighed once more in defeat and crossed his arms. "Fine," he said, "We'll see how this goes. Maybe if we're lucky it won't be as bad as we think it's gonna be."

(~)

"…sir. Why is it snowing in the dessert?"

"What are you talking about, Holly? It's not sno-oh my god, it's snowing."

Sure enough, the artificial world of heat and sand suddenly exploded into a world of freezing cold and strong winds that could turn any of them into ice-cubes. The sun, however, remained bright enough for a tan at the least, leaving a weird freezing-yet-over-heating sensation over their bodies. Never had the in-between felt so horrible to bear.

"I-Isabella," Ginger chittered, "I-is this part o-o-of the sim-mu-mulation?"

"Ugh…" Adyson fell face first into the snow, no amount of coolness being able to get rid of her heatstroke.

Isabella looked up in confusion as the clouds became much darker, and along with the snow came heavy drops of hail-like rain. It hurt quite a bit, like they were being attacked by a hoard of bees, only they were soggy and wet. The wind picked up, sending Gretchen flying into the fake sky, slamming into it like the wall that it was.

"So much pain…" Gretchen moaned before her glasses fell off of her face, breaking on the floor upon impact, "Gosh dang it, those were my only pair!"

"Okay, what the heck is going on here?!" Isabella growled, marching over to where the exit of the bio-sphere should probably be, "If someone's messing with the controls outside I'm gonna-…"

Isabella froze. She pushed into the wall, then again, then slammed a fist onto it, then her entire body which made her slide into the snowy ground. She growled as she attempted to tackle the wall once more, only for the same result. She glowered at the rest of the Firestorm Girls. "Help me out here, girls!"

Immediately the Firestorm Girls, save for Gretchen who was still trapped to where she was, went to barrel into the wall, only for the impact to bounce them back into the snow, over and over again. Eventually, they became too exhausted to continue their attempts, and Isabella stared up at the wall, alarm in her voice when she spoke.

"…the door's locked. We can't get out of here."

Immediately the heated snow-storm brewed more as a terrifying S'winter started to emerge from the bio-sphere in full fury. The Fireside Girls all looked at each other, trying to stay brave-faced but unsure of what to do. They looked at Isabella. "What's the plan, sir?" Milly asked, pursing her lips.

Isabella looked at her troop, then back to the wall, then back to her troop. Almost as if remembering that she was but a nine-year-old child, she resorted to her final attempt of grasping freedom. The other girls immediately followed in on her actions.

"…HELP!"

(~)

Upon the sound of shrieking and panicking arose from the inside of the bio-sphere, Phineas immediately realized that, no, this was just as bad as he initially thought it was going to be. Buford grinned. "Wow!" he laughed, "The Firestorm Girls crying for help already?! What a bunch of wimps!"

Phineas gave Buford a piercing stare. "Buford, I swear to god," he said sternly, "Put us down right now. You've had your fun, now this has gone way too far."

Irving whimpered in response to the growing panic around him. Phineas shot down at the other inventor in the room. "BALJEET! Snap out of it! You gotta fix the machine, fast!"

Dr. Baljeet mumbled some things out sadly, making Phineas growl loudly in frustration. "Okay, that's it! Buford, I do not wanna be a knowing accomplice to this little prank of yours if it's gonna get them killed! What's it gonna take for you to put us both down, suck up your hatred of Isabella and apparently the rest of the Firestorm Girls, and let us help them before something really bad happens?!"

Buford paused and hummed to himself. Phineas shrieked, "Cmon! You're not this bad of a person, Byoof! Even Doofenshmirtz wouldn't do something like this! Do you honestly want to see Isabella get killed by whatever you just did?!"

The bully thought more about it, his humored expression suddenly going sour as he finally seemed to piece together what he was doing, as if being compared to the evil dictator was a dawning moment for his brain. Or perhaps he really didn't want to see the arrogant Firestorm Leader get that seriously hurt. If she of all people was screaming for mercy this quickly…He sighed and released his grip, sending Phineas and Irving to the floor. Buford looked down at least somewhat apologetically. "Maybe this has gone a bit too far…"

"You think?!" Phineas snarled, "I swear to-to-…bloody Cthulhu, Buford!"

"Uh…I don't mean to interrupt," Irving said quietly, "But..."

The sounds of the Firestorm Girls' screams seemed to fade as the bio-sphere began to shudder. Phineas gasped and rushed to Dr. Baljeet, shaking him. "Baljeet! Please, Baljeet, get it together!"

"I worked on this for hours…"

"I know, 'Jeet, but listen…wait…hours?! This would've taken me at least twenty minutes! And I would've been able to put controls on the inside, you frigging psychopath!"

Having just about enough, Phineas looked back to Irving with sparking determination flaring in his eyes, the adrenaline turning on to full force in his blood. "Where did you say those tools were again?!"

(~)

Apparently flying through a forest of conscious, flesh-eating plant life was one of the most tedious things one can go through when you went about in a vehicle that was built with the proper protection from said plants. Three hours had passed and it looked like they might've been going around in circles, and if not then there were very few differences between the paths they took. Doofenshmirtz and Schnitzel were, by all means of the word, bored out of their minds.

"Are we there yet…?"

"No."

"How about now?"

"No, Alice…"

"Now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"Seriously, Alice, you've been asking me this for an hour straight, and the answer has been the same!"

"Are we there yet?"

"Look out the goddamn window, Alice!"

"Are we there yet?"

"WE ARE NOT THERE!"

"Are we there yet?"

"NO!"

Doofenshmirtz was about read to slam his face into the steering wheel, but managed to find some self-control. Schnitzel was lying back and stared up at the ceiling of the vehicle, rather tiredly, and unaware to the driver, a small fairy sat on her head asking the same annoying question. "Ugh, why is this taking us so long?" Schnitzel whined childishly, "We've been going at this for hours, they can't possibly be that far from us…"

"…you know, it's occurred to me that maybe I should be flying about the forest of carnivorous plant life that are lusting for our bloody flesh," Doofenshmirtz thought out loud, earning a deep frown from Schnitzel, who looked disgusted.

"Dude," she gagged, "The fuck?"

"Yeah, I know," Doofenshmirtz shook his head, "That was my bad…plus I think this GPS is mocking me."

"No, not that," Schnitzel rolled her eyes, "I mean…jeez, did you really need to give us that description? Nightmare fuel, thy name is Heinz."

"Well, it's not untrue," Doofenshmirtz said, "Besides, I'm not very good at navigating through stuff like this. Why do you think I go around places on a blimp?"

"I never knew you sucked at directions."

"I don't suck at it…I just…get lost easily."

"So we are going around in circles, then."

"…shut up."

Schnitzel looked back up, holding back a snicker. "Sorry," she said, "It's just…these pheromones are starting to give me a headache."

"Yeah, about that," Doofenshmirtz said, "The manual for this things states that inhaling too much of these pheromones might cause some kind of drug induced euphoria? I dunno, maybe you should open the windows."

Schnitzel's eyes widened as she looked back to Madison, who whistled as she did her thing. She sighed. "Now this suddenly makes sense…"

"What suddenly makes sense?"

"…nothing…hold on…did you say this thing has a manual?"

Doofenshmirtz nodded. "Yes," he said, "It's pretty thick. I left it under your seat. It was a good thing it was there, too, this thing is surprisingly complex. Like a simplified space ship, but still a space ship nonetheless."

Schnitzel reached down and, sure enough, there was a rather heavy user manual under her chair. She pulled it out and stared at it with widened eyes as she saw the author's name. "…okay, how the fuck did Phineas do all this so quickly?" she asked, "The vehicle is one thing, but this thing is over a hundred pages long."

"Granted he didn't write it all that well," Doofenshmirtz said, "Actually it's one of the worst things I've ever read, so I'm not sure if he's talking about one thing or another. It's a big guessing game. But for the most part it's easy to decipher."

"Seriously, though," Schnitzel looked over back to Doofenshmirtz, "When did he have the time to write this all down, print it, and get a hardcover for it?"

"There's also a printer in this thing under the back seats."

"…a printer?"

"Uh-huh. Couldn't find the computer he used, though."

"…I'm starting to think your son has demonic powers."

"You're overreacting, Alice."

"He wrote a 459 paged manual for a complicated piece of machinery that he also built on top of that in less than twelve seconds."

"Yes."

"…that doesn't scare you even a little?"

"Not really. Actually it's rather impressive. I knew he was gifted, but sheesh…"

"Twelve fucking seconds, Heinz!"

"I've been able to do stuff like that in ten minutes when I was his age. I don't see the problem."

"Yeah, but…you're you. Of course you can do that. And yeah, I expected that kind of thing from your kids…but…he did that all in seconds! He's a fucking nine-year-old, Heinz! And you've banned a lot of this stuff, where did he get the time to do any of this, while he was on the street?!"

"I think he must've gotten some pointers from Ferb," Doofenshmirtz said, "If I recall he and his brother did do a lot of building…"

Schnitzel looked over at Doofenshmirtz with wide eyes. "…you…you knew?" she asked, "You knew he could build this shit?"

"For a while, yes," Doofenshmirtz nodded.

"Even before he was captured then? Before he started working for you…"

"Uh-huh…"

"…holy shit."

"What?"

"That was your plan all along…that's why Candace never involved Phineas in the Resistance…you were gonna use him and his brother regardless of whether or not he was related to her!"

Doofenshmirtz shrugged. "What can I say," he admitted, "I saw potential."

"That's…how…" Schnitzel rubbed her temples, "I thought you were putting too much work on him on purpose…did you know he would've ran off onto the streets?"

"No," Doofenshmirtz sighed, "Actually…somewhere after their father died, suddenly the hidden cameras I left in the residences homes stopped working. I never had the time to fix them and…well…I suppose I forgot after a while."

Schnitzel shook her head once more, trying to wrap her head around what she had been told. How did she not figure this out before? More importantly…why did this fill her with so much dread? What could this possibly have meant for her to feel this way in the first place? And why was she suddenly getting mad?

"…when were you going to take those kids away from their parents?" Schnitzel glared.

Doofenshmirtz glanced over at her. "What, you're not gonna ask about me forgetting about-?"

"Heinz, you forget about a lot of stuff, you being careless is nothing new," Doofenshmirtz surprisingly nodded in agreement with her, much to Schnitzel's relief, "Now tell me…when were you going to take Phineas and his brother away, Heinz?"

Doofenshmirtz seemed reluctant to answer at first. Not because of any guilt he might've felt, but because he knew he'd have to deal with her rambling at him. "…when they were about twelve or so," he finally answered.

Schnitzel was taken aback once more. "Twelve…Heinz, they're kids!"

"Yes," Doofenshmirtz nodded, "I was twelve when I left my parents."

"Your parents were sociopathic monsters, Heinz," Schnitzel reminded, "And you killed them both in cold blood."

"We killed them, Alice."

"Whatever, Heinz, this is completely messed up thinking you had!"

"I didn't know he was my son at the time, to be perfectly fair…"

"That's not the point, Heinz! Phineas may be a brat, but he's still a kid! Ferb is, too! And literally everyone in the Resistance, come to think of it!"

"The Resistance? Where are you going with this?"

Schnitzel let out a weird strained noise, wondering where was she going with this anyway? She looked over at Madison for some advice, but all she seemed to say was, "Go for it~! Kiss him~!"

Schnitzel looked back to Doofenshmirtz. "Do you ever wonder what would've happened if you managed to get Phineas and Ferb at the time you wanted?" she asked.

"Hm…I don't think I've thought about it since Ferb joined the Resistance…remember when we saw him first? He was with that Danni girl…"

"Was…that the day she…um…"

"No, no, we saw them a few times before that…that was the time where that other girl was…hm…"

"What?"

"I…I can't seem to remember her face all that well…a lot happened during that time, it's-it's kind of a blue to me."

"You mean that girl with the glasses that was kinda just…there?"

"Yeah, that's her. She…hm…I thought only Candace had that freakishly long neck thing going on."

"I think it's an adolescent thing."

"You never had a long neck."

"And yet the fact remains that you did."

"…this is true…"

"Anyways, we're getting off track. Phineas and Ferb; what would you have done to them?"

Doofenshmirtz raised up his shoulders once more in his thoughts. "Pretty much the same thing I did with Phineas, only I figured by then they'd be as paranoid as their mother had grown to be," he said, "Right before the age of rebellion kicks in, and I could've basically destroyed their confidence enough for them to skip right passed that stage of their lives."

"Do…do you have a problem with children or something?"

"Not that I think of. Why do you ask?"

Schnitzel carefully raised up her hands in thought. "Hear me out, man," she said, "You know how you had, like, the worst childhood ever?"

Doofenshmirtz paused and responded with an immediate glower that shrunk Schnitzel down to size. "If you think that I treat children with a particular amount of torture compared to those of elder age because my days of youth were the worst years of my life," he said, "I'm going to have to stop you right there. Because that would imply that I treated my kids that badly in the first place, and that would imply a lot of things regarding Vanessa's…" he swallowed; at least he could say her name now without breaking down, "…passing…that I'm still sick of hearing from people. I don't need to hear it from you."

"…well," Schnitzel twiddled with her hair awkwardly, "You did kinda do that to Phineas…and he's your son, so-"

"Yeah," Doofenshmirtz snapped, "But I didn't know he was my son, and let's be real he was and probably still is a massive pain in the ass to deal with! His sass levels are off the charts, he tried escaping every other day for several weeks, not to mention he would reprogram the Norm-Bots when he was bored…"

"To be fair I think he was still angry at us for making him think we were gonna turn him into a Cyborg," Schnitzel admitted, "Either way, he kinda deserved to be shoved into the Ice Box for that one…particularly the time his actions set my hair on fire."

"Love how you predominate, Alice."

"Hey, first of all, that was freaking painful! Did you hear how loud I was screaming?"

"Unfortunately yes...ugh..."

"And second, you have your priorities, and I have mine."

"And don't get me started with that caffeine rush you had," Doofenshmirtz scowled, "Ugh, I still have nightmares about it! You were like that stupid cartoon laughing penguin."

"Peggy the Penguin?"

"Confound it do not mention that stupid avifauna's name to me again!"

Doofenshmirtz slammed a hand down against the wheel in his growing frustration, and a horn sound blasted, sending Doofenshmirtz and Schnitzel up into the ceiling of the vehicle in their shock. Doofenshmirtz groaned as he managed to gain back control while Schnitzel gripped her chest in terror. "…why the fuck would he put a horn on this fucking thing?!" Schnitzel shrieked.

Doofenshmirtz groaned. "When I get my hands on that little brat," he said, "I am going to strangle him."

"Leave room for me to throttle," Schnitzel sneered, "I forgot how much he annoyed me…what a little asshole."

"Yeah, right? I swear to god, if he weren't my son I wouldn't be going after him."

"Son? More like sin. Up top!"

Doofenshmirtz and Schnitzel high-fived each other and actually started to laugh. Subtly the mirthful banter slowly turned to tearful whimpering, and Doofenshmirtz didn't stop Schnitzel from clinging to him and sobbing onto his should while he tried to stay in total control of his emotions. Dammit they missed that little annoying turd so much and if anything happened to him they would literally kill everyone and then themselves for it. Madison flittered over and patted Schnitzel on the head comfortingly.

It was at that moment that something had collided with their ship; something intentionally aimed at them in fact. Their cries of misery were turned into screams of terror as they careened towards the grassy ground below, both hugging each other for dear life. Schnitzel was too scared to be mad at Madison's rather impromptu commentary over the situation.

"Aw~, how romantic! You're both falling to your deaths together~! I'm so proud~!"

A/N:

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…:

CLIFFHANGERS BABY!

You get a cliffhanger, and you get a cliffhanger! EVERYBODY GETS A CLIFFHANGER! AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Merry Christmas all ya'll! And happy Holidays!

-GTS