Cook's apartment is the same. It's dusty and dark and the floor in the hallway still creaks in the same spots. I sit in the same seat I did on the very first day we met. I pull my knees up to my chest. Take out boxes are scattered across the table and counters, dirty dishes sit piled high in the sink. It's like Cook stopped living while I was away…stopped caring.

"Do you wanna have dinner in the living room? It's kind of the only room that's clean right now," Cook says, holding a plate of food out for me.

I nod, getting up and following him down the hall.

Sitting up against the wall is the red couch we fought over. My plate tips out of my hand and falls to the floor with a thud. Food splatters across my legs but I hardly notice. He listened. The red sticks out in the room, furnished with a black entertainment center, coffee and end tables, and a big white rug. My mind flashes back to that day in the furniture store.

"Annabelle? Hey, you wanna come back to Earth?"

I'm on the floor; I must've fallen without realizing it. Cook is sitting over me, my head resting in his lap. His fingers pull through my hair. Cook's eyes are a mask of concern. "Are you with me."

I sit up slowly, scooting closer to Cook. His arms envelope me as I wrap mine around his neck, "You got the red one."

"Yeah, after our fight and after you wouldn't take my calls I went back and got it. It reminded me of you."

"Sorry I dropped my food."

"Hey, don't worry about it babes. Do you want to go sit down? I'll put in a film and go make you some more."

"Don't bother. I'm not really that hungry."

Cook frowns a little before helping me stand up and leading me towards the couch. I feel like I'm floating. My body is present but my mind and soul are thousands of miles away. The material of the couch is cold against my bare legs. I curl up in a ball with my back pushed up against the arm. Cook fumbles with the telly remote for a little. "You really should eat Annabelle."

I close my eyes for a second trying to get my spiritual self to reconnect with my physical self. The room feels like it has a pulse. I'm sure it's just my own heartbeat ringing in my ears. There is an elephant sitting on my chest. I shoot up, like a bullet shot from a gun. The question spills from my lips before I even have a chance to think about it.

"Who was she…the girl that I reminded you of?"

Cook signs abandoning the remote. He places his food on the couch, sitting criss cross on the floor in front of me. I can see in his eyes that he's trying to figure out a way to tell me as little as possible. His lips are pulled into a hard frown, the corners held down by invisible string. I reach out and curl my fingers around his wrist. I can't shake the need to feel his skin against mine.

"I'm not gonna run away if I hear something scary Cook. I just want answers I guess. I want to prove to you that I'm not the person who made you this way. I know it was fucked that I didn't talk to you for months but you really upset me. I thought it was for the best…"

"Her name was Effy. We fucked in the nurses room the very first day I met her. She gave me this list of shit to do around the school. I did it all because I thought it would make her love me. I was in high school I did a lot of stupid shit."

"She didn't love you?"

"No. She loved my best mate Freddie. They were both fucked in the head so I guess it worked out. She fucked up our friendship. She's the reason he's dead."

I swallow hard. Cooks words come up in sort bursts. He's holding back tears. Reaching forward I rub the top of my fingers against his cheek. He turns and kisses my knuckles.

"Can I ask how he died? Freddie I mean. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to."

"You can ask anything babes."

"Can I kiss you?"

Before he can respond my lips press to his. My fingers run through his hair. Cook's plate falls off the couch cushion and hits the floor as I move forward. Cook pulls me towards him, his hand on the back of my neck. I feel his tongue brush my bottom lip and I flick mine against his. Cook's hand slides down my back and grazes over my breast. A shiver runs through my body. As soft lips move to my earlobe I snap back to reality.

"Cook, Cook, stop."

He pulls away, concerned eyes searching my face. His lips are puffy, heart beating quickly under my hand, which is placed on his chest. Cook swallows hard before answering, "What's wrong babes?"

I brush my thumb over Cook's lips. They're soft and I like the way he catches my thumb between them and kisses it. I lay my head on his shoulder as tears spill down my cheeks. "You're a good person James."

I'm lifted off the floor and carried from the living room and down the hall. Cook deposits me in his bed before tugging off his pants and crawling under the covers. He opens his arms and I scoot closer. "You wanna tell me why you stopped things back in the living room?"

"I got scared," I admit, looking everywhere but at Cook. "Sex kind of scares me."

"You thought we were gonna have sex?"

"That's what that kind of kissing leads to," I answer back; a little hurt by his question. It isn't that I want to have sex with Cook, at least not right now, but I guess I never considered the fact that he might not want to have sex with me.

"You're silly Annabelle. We don't have to have sex if you don't want to and you don't have to tell me why it scares you, at least not yet. But, I do like you. When you left and wouldn't take my calls I thought it was Effy all over again. I sat in bed for days straight trying to figure out how I could fix things…what I could do to take back what I had said. If you don't want to kiss me ever again that's fine. Just stay with me Annabelle, just like this, forever. Please?"

I nod leaning in and placing my lips over Cook's for a second. "Maybe lets just kiss like that for a while?"

Cook hugs me closer to him, his bare skin warm against mine. "That sounds perfect."