ISFNE Chapter 36
Eric POV
"I will make you pay any way I can for the rest of my life. I swear it," Faith said to me, not yet turning to Simon.
"Alice? What's going on?" Simon asked tentatively, standing awkwardly off to the side, frozen as he continued trying to catch Faith's eye.
She looked over and her glance apparently told him all he needed to know. He paled slightly and looked me over again, frowning deeply.
"Faith, go get the twins. I'll be okay," he said calmly switching to her real name, his sharp gaze not leaving mine.
"Simon-" she tried to step between us, but he calmly grabbed her shoulder and after giving me a suspicious glance, turned to face her.
"Faith, if he wants to talk, I'll talk. I'm going to be fine, and so are you, okay?" he said, his voice dropping to barely more than a whisper but remaining reassuring and steady. I couldn't help but be impressed.
Faith looked between the two of us worriedly but nodded ever so slightly as I heard a sniffle that indicated how close she was to tears. She threw her arms around Simon, hugging him tightly as if he would disappear before her eyes. I saw a glint of tears on her cheek as she turned slightly to whisper into his ear, "I should've said 'yes' earlier," she sobbed so quietly I barely caught it – not that I was supposed to.
Simon had a pained expression but pulled away and kissed her with tenderness. "Don't dwell on should-haves, Faith, that does us no good," he said cupping her face. "You said yes, and that made me the happiest man alive, okay?" he kissed her forehead a gently wiped her tears away with his thumb stroking her cheek. When they broke apart he smiled softly, "Go get the twins, I'll be fine," he said his voice returning to a normal volume. She cast one more fearful glance in my direction and then disappeared upstairs.
Silence fell heavily as I studied the man in front of me. He was lanky and around my height with unruly dark hair and thickly framed glasses that he was currently cleaning with his shirt. He stood with nonchalance, but I could see the tension in his shoulders that hinted at how much emotion he was holding back. He replaced his glasses on his face, crossed his arms, and huffed. "Well, get on with whatever it is you're going to tell me," he finally bit out, startlingly abrasive.
"What makes you think I have anything to tell you?" I asked with amusement, the unpredictability of him and Faith was always exciting.
"Why else would you have bothered sending Faith away? Now, if you're going to intimidate me or rage at me or whatever just get on with it already," he said with impatience.
"You aren't afraid of me are you," I stated rhetorically after a few moments, "I find myself wondering why."
"Simple. You won't hurt me because Faith loves me."
"And if that makes me upset and I'd rather you stop breathing?" I asked flippantly.
"Then you alienate Faith forever," he said with a shrug. "You can't hurt me because you already promised Faith you wouldn't. So what'll it be? Intimidation? Rage? Boasting?"
"Actually, I wanted to thank you," I said after a long pause.
His eyes narrowed, frown deepening, "You can keep your thanks, I did nothing for you," his disgust palpable.
"No, I suppose all that you did to help Faith benefited you in the end."
As planned, the comment roused his ire. He looked at me, pure fury burning behind his eyes, "Everything I did was for her, never for me! You broke her, you absolutely destroyed her, and she came to me as a shell of a person, scared of her own shadow! I never exploited that, I loathed it. She jumped at my every glance or touch in a way that broke my heart. And sure, sometimes I had to force her to overcome her fears, but I helped piece her back together so that she could live a life where she was no longer controlled and abused by you and, by God, she finally was! So, don't you tell me about my selfishness or my agenda like she was just some fucking conquest. She's my wife for Christ's sake!" he impassioned, tears starting to form in his eyes, "and now you're just going to take her away and break her again," he said dully.
I could see once again what drew Faith to him. He had the same sharp tongue to be sure, and the same ability to render me speechless. He cared about her deeply and knew more than I'd expected, which spoke of the depths to which Faith trusted him. I decided to start from there.
"I can see Faith has given you a full account of our dealings," I sighed, turning away and sitting on one of the couches nestled in a reading nook, still looking over at Simon.
"I know exactly what you did to her if that's what you're getting at," his voice hard and unforgiving.
I let out a humorless laugh shaking my head. He had no idea, but if anyone deserved to know it was Faith and this man. He deserved to know why I had to take her from him. "Simon, you're a bright man, have you heard of beneficence?"
"Of course, it's only a pillar of my job," he said sounding annoyed, "are you actually going to plead beneficence? You raped her."
"Yes, I did. And now I ask you for a moment, to suspend your disbelief and imagine what that means if, as I claim, that was the only way to maximize possible benefits and minimize possible harm. Would you like to guess at what might have been the worse outcome? The more harmful outcome for her and possibly millions more?"
"Continuing this hypothetical, how the hell could you claim millions? That seems like dangerous hyperbole," he accused.
"Faith's told you of my position in the community, hasn't she?" I received a curt nod as a response. "Try a coup then," I continued. "One that could have led to the revocation of a decree by my predecessor. A decree that keeps my kind from wreaking havoc on your mortal lives, relegating us to the shadows, banned from killing for sport or abducting slaves. A decree that binds my kind only to feed when we must, to leave no trace, and to alter memories with each encounter," I was thankful to see that Simon was listening as I continued.
"Now, put in charge of that coup a bloodthirsty traitor who views mortals as nothing more than cattle, whose followers wish to make the world live in fear of them, who himself raped and brutalized my first mate for the purpose of keeping me from this position, knowing I opposed this view.
And put between all of this evil one girl with immeasurable power, more than any normal bride should possess, and one man who needs access to that power and, more importantly, needs to keep it from falling into the hands of his competitor. I think you quite quickly arrive at millions – hypothetically of course," I finished, looking away, wondering if I'd made my point.
Simon POV
I stood in stupefied silence staring at Eric. I loathed this man with all of my being, I hated his every word and yet here I was finding myself believing him. He stated each word with such conviction and force that I found myself actually listening to what he said. And I hated that I couldn't immediately discount it. I carefully walked over to sit across from him in the armchair that occupied the same corner. "That's quite the convoluted hypothetical, and a lot of suspension of disbelief."
"It doesn't even begin to cover the complexities of the situation," he said plainly, still not looking at me.
"Supposing that you might be telling something vaguely truthful, why doesn't Faith know any of this?" I accused, still not willing to admit I was beginning to believe him.
He let out a heavy sigh, "How does one explain such an insurmountable topic in such a time constraint? Especially when preceded by a forced kidnapping?"
"You at least try!" I fumed, "You don't get a pass no matter what the circumstances are. If you even pretend to have any respect for Faith you would have tried."
"You think I wanted her to live in ignorance? If I'd explained when she first came she would have immediately dismissed it! And before I could do anything about it, events were set into motion much too quickly," he replied. "She would have never agreed."
"You never even gave her the option," I said coldly.
"All that aside, I didn't come to talk to you about my past with Faith," he said standing and beginning to pace slightly. After a long and awkward silence, he finally spoke up again, "I wanted to thank you for all you've done for Faith and for my children. You've kept them safe and cared for beyond what I could have hoped, and I realize what kind of shoes you've left me to fill," he paused to meet my frowning gaze, "I want to offer you a choice, Simon."
"What kind of choice?" I demanded evenly.
"Whether or not you'd like to forget."
Faith POV
I in no way felt good about leaving Simon and Eric alone in the bookstore, but I soothed my nerves with the knowledge that Eric had promised not to harm him. What they could talk about though baffled me to no end. I climbed to the apartment slowly and was greeted at the door by the twins. It was painfully obvious that they'd been listening at the door – and with their hearing who knows what they'd heard.
"Mommy, are you alright?" Solomon asked.
"You're so many colors, Mommy," Ellie said with concern.
"Mommy's fine you two, just a little tired," I tried valiantly. They both looked at me unconvinced, I don't why I bothered lying to them when I knew they could tell.
"You're not tired," Ellie said stubbornly.
"What's going on?" Solomon added, reaching out to grab my arm, I avoided his grab, he didn't need to glean anything right now.
"Not right now, you two," I said sinking down onto the couch. They carefully crawled up next to me, Solomon was kind enough not to grab for me again.
"Are we leaving?" Ellie asked quietly.
"Yes, honey," I responded reluctantly.
"Who was that downstairs?" Ellie continued.
"No one. Elle, I really can't do this right now. Just please go finish your books, okay, you two? I promise I'll explain everything later; I really need time to process." I carefully leaned in a kissed their heads before standing and walking into my bedroom. I heard them get up and head upstairs finally. I sat dully on the bed unable to cry but feeling a pressure in my chest that told me I wasn't immune to what was happening; emotion would rear its head at some point. For now, I was still in shock. My contacts were drying out, so I removed them on autopilot, realizing they were pointless now.
I must have sat there a long while because the next thing I heard was a soft knock on the doorframe, I looked over to see Marissa standing in the doorway, looking quite somber. Her eyes widened in surprise as she took in my appearance and she smiled ever so slightly as she met my eye. I couldn't help noticing she looked exactly the same. Same semi-wild auburn hair and ice-blue eyes.
"Hey, stranger," she said, leaning against the door.
"So he called in the cavalry again did he," I said tiredly. "I should've expected as much. Not even a doorbell though? What happened to being invited in?"
She shrugged and stepped inside the room, walking over to me, "The bookstore is fair game, I can gain access from there on the technicality that it is part of the same building that I've already been invited into. And I came into the apartment because you left the door open, which is another invitation in itself." She sat down next to me on the bed, with some marked distance due to my necklace, "It's just Max and I though, don't get yourself all worked up."
"Three seems a bit excessive for little old me," I said.
"We needed four when you were six years younger, I think caution is always advised when it comes to you," she said, surprisingly serious. "Now come on, we have to get going. Grab your stuff," she switched gears quickly.
"I'm not coming, Marissa. Surely you understand that?"
"Faith-"
"I'm NOT," I exploded suddenly. "I HATE that he just assumes he's going to get his way! He best get used to disappointment!"
She pinched the bridge of her nose, "Faith, this is not the hill to fight and die on. You have other people at stake here."
I leapt up at that, "Are you insinuating you'd hurt my husband?! If any of you lays a finger on Simon, I will kill you!" I screamed.
She sat up straighter frowning at me, "Calm the fuck down!" she barked, throwing me completely. "I know you may find this impossible to believe but consider the possibility that Eric doesn't go out of his way to make your life miserable. He is not going to get vindictive about this. He already promised you Simon's safety."
"He's promised things before, I have yet to see reliable follow-through," I said, barely scraping together a response, still so thrown by Marissa's anger. "How the hell are you mad at me?! I'm the victim here. Once again, Eric is ruining my life – not the other way around."
"You're not going to get anywhere with this. If you just cooperate things will be infinitely easier," Marissa snapped.
"You expect me to welcome him back into my life with open arms? I will not cave to his every whim!"
"As if you ever caved once! You only continue to be stubborn," she accused. "I was worried about you, Faith! We all were, and yet you decide to just push on heedless of any warnings we gave you. You're only focused on yourself," she said standing quickly and turning away, "I will be downstairs, I suggest you follow before Max, Eric, and I are forced to be unpleasant." She exited quickly without another word, leaving me to collapse onto the bed again. No tears came with the balance of anger and disbelief. Instead I was strangely numb. How could she accuse me of selfishness? Sure, I'd had my moments in my dealings with Eric but only in response to his own selfishness. What grounds did she have to accuse me?!
I carefully got up and went over to my vanity, opening the drawer to find my necklaces. Nestled toward the back and slightly tarnished, as I hadn't worn it in years, was my first cross that I'd bought all those years ago. I carefully took it out and unfastened my own necklace that had been a gift from Grams a while back, gently sliding the charms with "Ellie" and "Ollie" engraved on them off of my own necklace and onto the other one and began polishing the cross to make it shine once again. The repetitive motion comforting in its own way, I continued mindlessly, not noticing the minutes passing.
"I think it's quite clean, Faith," I heard from the door.
I stopped, realizing how vigorous and frenzied my polishing had gotten, escalating to a veritable onslaught and looked up to see Eric now filling my doorway. I realized belatedly that neither of my crosses were currently around my neck but clutched the one in my hand tightly, feeling it imprint into my palm. "What now?" I asked quietly, my voice catching despite my best efforts to keep it cold and detached.
"You've been up here for the better part of an hour, I thought it wise to check up on you."
"You've checked, now go away," I snipped weakly. Why was I reverting, why did I feel so damn powerless? What had happened to all the work I'd done toward conquering this?
"Why are you polishing that crucifix so frantically? The condition of the pendant does not change its effectiveness if you must know."
"Please, go away," I whimpered.
"Not until you follow," he said calmly. It was completely nonthreatening, but I still felt a shiver of fear shoot down my spine.
"I'm not done."
"No rush. The children are already downstairs in the car."
My gaze snapped up, my blood instantly boiling, all fear forgotten at the thought of my children now in his control. "What did you do to my children!" I demanded, jumping to my feet.
"What makes you think I did anything, Faith, they went out willingly and said you would follow soon. I assumed you'd sent them out," he said, the surprise in his voice evident.
"I did nothing of the sort and you know it!" I barked, "Why would I send two of people I hold most dear out to someone I loathe?! What did you do to them!"
"They are not solely your flesh and blood anymore, Faith! I would sooner die than harm my children in any way!" he yelled back, pacing forward to meet me.
"My mistake, it's just hard to know where you draw the line when you have no qualms about damaging me in every conceivable way, someone else you claim to care for. Excuse me for not being able to distinguish between the two," I said icily, inside though I was burning up, my heart rate high, my vision red, it felt like the air itself was vibrating.
Eric POV
This is what I'd been so carefully trying to avoid, I got ready to beat a hasty retreat as I felt the air begin to buzz with Faith's power as she'd finally become agitated enough to let her unstable power boil to the surface ready to erupt.
"Faith," I said gently, quickly backing down. She could seriously injure me if I continued with her so volatile, "Faith, please, listen to me," I pleaded with every bit of coaxing persuasion I could muster, "Nothing will be as before, everything will be explained," I felt the energy of the room lessen ever-so slightly and pushed my small advantage. Against my every instinct I stepped toward her, "I have never reveled in causing you pain, Faith. And I promise you, I will never intentionally harm you again."
I prepared myself to flee but sighed in relief as I felt her attack drop as a few stray tears trickled down her cheeks. "Simon is waiting for you downstairs," I said carefully, "if you follow me you can have some time to yourselves to say your goodbyes."
"Why are you doing this?" she whispered brokenly.
She gutted me with that small plea, "Because I must – for the benefit of you and so many others."
"How can you expect me to trust a word you say?"
"I didn't betray you last time. You trusted me then."
"My life hung in the balance; I had literally no other options," she countered.
"You don't have other options this time either."
"Only because you are taking them away. It's completely different; you know that."
I sighed and moved another step closer to her and she quickly stepped back, her stance settling into one that was defensive and solid. She held up her hands and I saw that the crucifix was still clutched in one. "I refuse to come quietly, Eric. I worked too hard for this life for you to come take it from me a second time."
Surprised by her confidence and stance, I withdrew the step I'd gained, "Faith, be rational at least," I said a little harsher than I intended, the situation beginning to grate on me – I just wanted this to be over. Why was she insisting on dragging out this pain?
"You are the only one who benefits from your own cooperation. If you cooperate, you can take your time gathering your things and saying your goodbyes. If you fight me on this, I will win, and we will leave immediately. I am getting what I want either way – you only hurt yourself in the end." I stated, my tone growing darker as I continued.
She straightened up at my words, her face suddenly devoid of any emotion. I expected another possible flare of power, but she only stepped away after a long pause and quietly fastened the necklace in her hand around her throat as she picked up the other necklace and then strolled over to the closet, beginning to pack.
Her small suitcase was packed quickly before she decided to leave the room looking for other necessities. She wandered around quickly and grabbed a photo album (though I noticed how she intentionally left the rest behind), a flannel shirt, and few assorted books that she once again carefully evaluated, leaving certain ones behind. I belatedly realized they were for Simon. She refused to hand off anything to me, though I offered to carry it. Instead, she found a bin to put it all in and rolled the suitcase behind her. I wondered if she was bringing more ammunition with her to use against me, but refused to breach the subject, worried she might become volatile again. I was too amazed and wary of her compliance, knowing it would have consequences later on.
Simon POV
Faith came down from the apartment slowly, trailed by Eric. She already looked so despondent and lifeless it killed me, and it made me want to kill Eric all over again. But then, I figured my protection she'd so frantically bargained for wouldn't extend to if I attempted to kill him. And I didn't want Faith to have to watch me die, I was already going to have to watch her die. It was the hardest decision I'd had to make. Should I forget all of this and live in the painful ignorance with the rest of the world thinking my wife and kids had died? Or did I want to remember all of this, the real circumstances of her leaving. Would it comfort me to know Eric had taken her and the kids very much alive? Or, sad as it was, would their death give me more comfort in the end?
"It's not a decision to be made lightly," Eric had said honestly. "It may seem like an obvious choice to want to remember her and the children and know they are truly alive but know that the rest of the world will believe them dead. You will start to feel insane. You may wonder if you've concocted it all as a coping mechanism of sorts."
"And on the other hand, I will have to deal with the profound grief of thinking my entire family dead. I may never recover from that sort of tragedy," I'd countered.
He surprisingly had shifted uncomfortably, something that seemed wholly out of character, "Simon, I truly wish I could offer you a different alternative. But I can only give you a choice in your future, and even that I do only as a show of my respect for you."
She walked up to me setting the crate on the floor and leaving the suitcase, though something else was clutched in her hand. Eric kept a more-than-respectful distance in the corner. I enfolded her into my arms as I felt her struggling to stifle her sobs as they escaped every so often half-formed and strangled. I gently pulled her face to mine, kissing her tenderly and longingly as she returned in kind with a panicked undercurrent that she infected me with. We could each feel the other slipping through our fingers like sand and were now frantically grasping at the final grains. We parted, and she collapsed in on herself slightly as she met my gaze the tears falling freely now. "I should return this to you," she hiccuped, as she slid the ring off of her finger and pressed it into my hand, "You deserve to find someone who can make you happy, Simon," she sobbed, "I don't know why I let you or myself believe it could be me, but I-I want you to-to know I'm sorry," she said crying harder, "Don't mourn for me, find someone else, please. I know you won't remember this, but I just want you to be happy, Simon," she said looking at me, her violet eyes swimming with tears making me feel my own tears threatening to overtake me.
I immediately grabbed her hand and pressed the ring right back into her palm, "No, I want you to keep it. And every time you are made to feel alone, inadequate, worthless or anything else, I want you to remember that you have brought me the most happiness and joy I could ever have dreamed of. You and the twins. You are my everything, Alice," I said softly, giving her a reprieve from her name that Eric had been using, holding onto her name that had been mine and mine alone. Though I was trying to comfort her, she only continued to cry harder.
"You aren't h-helping," she sobbed.
I pulled her closer tucking her head against my chest as my own tears finally began to fall. "I love you, Simon," she whispered.
"I love you, Alice," I said back as she grabbed my hand, her other hand that had been fisted the entire time finally opening to deposit something. It was her cross, and she pressed the ring into my hand as well.
"Alice, I-"
"They're the only things you'll be able to have I'm sure. My body will likely be unidentifiable," she sniffed. "But it's something you can remember me and the twins by, even if we are dead."
"But your protection-"
"It's my old one," she assured me leaning back slightly to give me a small watery smile. "I'm still armed."
"Good," I said, kissing her again, unfortunately only rekindling her sobs.
"You're going to make another girl really really happy someday, Simon," she cried.
"I don't want to make anyone else happy," I said quietly.
"Faith," Eric interrupted quietly. A reminder of how final this all truly was.
She kissed me and leaned in to kiss my cheek, whispering into my ear in the process, "The attic tile in our bedroom, there's a box in there for you, I don't think you'll remember that I've told you this," she paused trying to collect herself as her tears were quickly overtaking her again, "but, should you have a vague memory of this at any point or stumble upon it ever, I was meaning to give it to you someday in the future," she gulped back tears again her voice straining an octave or two, "when we were old and the kids were grown. But that's…no longer an option, so I hope you find it now." She kissed my cheeks, pressed another kiss to my lips her tears smudged on my cheeks, mixing with my own. She took in a shaky breath and pressed another desperate kiss to my lips, clinging to me as she felt the last grains of sand slip away.
"Faith, it's time to go," Eric interrupted again, just as calmly. My glance at him showed me that, to my surprise, he wasn't reveling in this. In fact, he almost looked close to tears himself.
"I will never forget you, Alice," I said quietly, "and I will always love you, even if I do by some miracle find another woman who holds a candle to you, she will remind me of you. I will only love her because I loved you first. You will always be in my thoughts and our memories together are the fondest ones I have. I hope you find happiness in your situation, desperate as it seems right now, or that you find a situation you can have happiness in. God knows you deserve it," I said, valiantly restraining my sobs. We walked to the door, Eric trailing behind us as we exited the bookstore.
"Be happy, Simon," she said as we stood on the sidewalk. "All I want is to know you will try to find happiness again. Promise me."
I shuddered with the sorrow of that thought, "I will try. I promise to try, for your sake alone."
"Thank you," she barely whispered, and in those words, there was so much unspoken. As she held my hand, a devastated look came over her face as she saw the parked car and her two children running toward me.
...
A/N: Hey, friends! Happy New Year I guess? Hope you like the new chapter. SOOOoooo BIG NEWS ALERT.
Here's the deal. This thing took a LOT of unexpected turns. Like, Faith and Simon just came up and practically demanded a fic to themselves and I had to capitulate cuz...come on, I can't say no to those two. But I realize to get around to where I'm aiming, I need one more split. This is completely unplanned, like I thought for sure this crazy thing would maaaaaybe split once when I started it, but nooooo it just grew into the monster you see before you. Don't get me wrong. I love this little monster, but geez, it's so greedy. But I am forced to give in to its demands once more because I'm over 100,000 words already on this part 2. So, this is a long-winded way of saying...there's going to be a third and FINAL installation (if it kills me cuz this insanity will not continue past this final split). I have one more chapter planned for this section and it will go up with the first chapter of part 3. It's great though, the title writes itself (thanks me of like 4 years ago for picking a solid title at least) so I will post all the info about the final part of this veritable SAGA at the end of chapter 37. I love you all and truly can't blame you if you decide to tap out after this portion of the story ends cuz I've dragged you guys through a lot, but if you want to know how this all ends, I PROMISE you will have your ending in this final division. Bless you guys for all your views, reviews, alerts, favorites...I seriously can't thank you deeply enough. Now I'll stop rambling. Hope to see you next chapter and in the new fic.