8.

At least time with Demyx was forgiving. Time he didn't have to worry about anything other than being Ienzo. He listened to Demyx play sitar, a lulling song that threatened to ease him into sleep.

"You doing okay?"

"I'm enjoying your song," he said simply. "Do go on."

It shifted, becoming a little warmer, more whimsical, the tempo more upbeat, Ienzo thought he heard longing within it, desire. He exhaled slowly, his heart starting to catch. "You could have just asked, if you wanted to kiss me," he said dryly.

"I wanted to be romantic. Sue me."

He laughed a little. "It is nice, to be appreciated. Yes. Maybe I should make you work harder."

Demyx's smile was more of a smirk. He let the sitar fade and leaned over to kiss him.

It was fascinating, how quickly they'd become accustomed to one another. Demyx pulled his hands through Ienzo's hair. Ienzo moved closer. There was no space between them anymore, and the feeling of Demyx's strong, lean body had him again coming up on that point where feelings bled into each other. Ienzo gave permission to himself to stop thinking for a few moments, helped along greatly by the way Demyx kissed him, his tongue moving so nicely. Maybe he had done this before-or was simply talented. He responded eagerly, running his hands along Demyx's back, feeling at the smooth, wiry muscles. The want was back, and stronger. Maybe this time his body would actually let him enjoy things, rather than forcing him to a point of anxiety.

One way to find out.

Ienzo pulled away from the kiss and settled into Demyx's lap, not quite straddling him considering he was still sitting. "Is this alright?"

His face was flushed. "More than."

"Good. Do tell me-if it ever isn't."

"And you too." He kissed him again, more deeply than before, and Ienzo's heart was racing. He settled down against Demyx more comfortably, looping his arms around his shoulders. Demyx pulled away from the kiss and instead trailed down Ienzo's jaw and throat, a curiously electric sensation that he examined with interest. He could feel it happening again, his dick hardening, though it was less jarring now than before. It was hard to reciprocate like this. One of Demyx's hands reached up to the buttons at the top of Ienzo's shirt-

He jerked as though he'd been shocked.

"I'm sorry," Demyx said. "I'm so sorry."

The pleasure was rapidly giving way to an anxiety, but not overstimulation. "It's not that," he said slowly. "I… how to put this. I have a scar."

He cocked his head slightly. "I think we all do."

"The implications of it are rather gruesome. Not at all… attractive."

Demyx frowned. "I don't follow."

"From my Nobody's death," he said thickly. He took a deep breath. "Here. Let me-"

"You don't have to-"

"It'll happen sooner or later. Best now than then." His hands were shaking so hard he could barely undo the buttons. It was… odd, to slide off his shirt in front of another person. He felt exposed on multiple levels and couldn't meet Demyx's eyes.

"Oh," he said softly. "Oh, Ienzo."

"Believe it or not, this is better than it was," he said. "It was originally… much more bruised."

Demyx almost looked as if he would touch it. He looked more concerned than repulsed, which was surprising. "Can I ask-how?"

He nodded. "In Castle Oblivion… Axel had the Riku replica strangle me. The darkness… held me fast, and cut into me all around, like a noose." He shuddered.

Demyx touched his shoulder. "That's awful. Are you okay?"

"I do have… nightmares," he admitted. "And I cannot bear to be backed into corners."

He thought about this for a moment. "Can I touch it?" He asked.

Ienzo braced himself, and nodded. He thought the feeling of hands on his throat might be triggering, but Demyx avoided his windpipe, tracing the scar gently with his fingers. The scratch of his calluses against the hypersensitive skin chased away the rest of his fear. "That does feel nice," he said slowly. He swallowed and felt a lump in his throat. Why was he emotional?

"What about this?" He kissed it once, as though asking for permission, and when Ienzo didn't pull away, he kissed it again, and again.

Ienzo was surprised at the intensity of the sensation. He gasped out loud and felt tension blooming in his stomach. He pulled Demyx a little closer. To feel his hands on Ienzo's bare skin was so beautiful , and for the first time Ienzo was glad they were both here and human. He reached for the hem of Demyx's shirt and likewise felt him tense.

He laughed softly. "While we're trading stories." He slipped off the t-shirt and let it fall.

Ienzo felt more than a little concerned. Demyx had substantially more scarring along his chest than Ienzo did; some of it was old, thin and whitened, but some of it looked new, pink and rippled, particularly near his back, his ribs. "This is what bothers you when you work," Ienzo said. "Is this from-?"

"Golden boy Sora?" He grimaced. "Yeah. It wasn't fun. But the rest… must have come from the time before."

"The trauma you were afraid of," Ienzo realized. "Oh…"

"Not exactly fun and flirty," Demyx said. His eyes were watering, and he blinked hard.

Ienzo touched his face. "This doesn't change how I feel," he said. "If anything…" Being this vulnerable was freeing. "You're so strong."

"Hardly."

" Really ," Ienzo said.

"You're gonna make me cry, Zo."

"What if I did this?" He kissed the scars at his shoulders, for a moment in awe that skin, too, had its own taste. Demyx exhaled, a short, sharp sound.

"That's good," he said breathily.

Ienzo kept exploring him. He hadn't necessarily meant for things to get so hot and heavy, but he found he didn't mind. He waited for his body to tell him to stop. Perhaps he was used to this feeling of touch by now. They eased down so gently onto the floor, which made it easier to reach the scars lower down. A small sound caught in Demyx's throat. Knowing he could make someone else feel this good was in itself a reward.

"Zo?"

He looked up.

"You're kind of-leaning really hard on me."

He was right; Ienzo wasn't only letting him take most of his weight, but was also, well, grinding against him. "I suppose there's more etiquette to this than it seems," he said breathlessly.

Demyx laughed. "It's okay. It's just that the, uh, zipper is kind rubbing right against-"

"...That does not sound pleasant," he agreed, a flush of embarrassment rising in his face. There was a tick of silence which was more awkward than the last. "Would it help if I took your pants off? Or…" He swallowed. "Is that going too far?"

He touched Ienzo's face. "You can take them off."

His heart skipped again. "Okay." It was clear something more than a kiss was about to happen here. But what? And why did he feel unprepared? It wasn't as though Demyx wasn't in the same situation as him in terms of experience. Ienzo's hands trembled as he struggled to undo the button, the fly. More than a little awkward, to try and ease out of these clothes the way they were positioned. His own slacks, too, seemed much more complicated than normal, and the socks, too. No romance novel he could recall ever mentioned anyone removing socks. Undressing was always made to seem sexy , but it just felt like a chore in actuality. He settled back down against him, remembering to take his weight onto his elbows.

Feeling Demyx's body so fully against Ienzo's almost made him feel as though he might combust. He could feel Demyx's dick through the thin fabric of their underwear, right up against his own, and for a few minutes they just kissed and moved against one another, like tides. Ienzo was getting more insight than ever as to why people bonded so strongly; all of these sensations so lush, and freeing, his body suddenly much more than something dreadingly carried around and taken care of.

He wanted whatever came next. Badly. Demyx kissed his throat, his chest, pulling him still closer until they felt vaguely fused. "Demyx?"

He barely looked up from what he was doing. "What?"

"Can we go further?"

So slowly, he made eye contact.

"Not… not the whole thing. But maybe…"

"Touching?" Demyx offered.

Ienzo nodded. "Would you want that?"

"God, yes." He cleared his throat. "Are you… ready for that?"

"I don't feel that same dreadful overstimulation. Not yet."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

Demyx kissed him on the mouth, then let go of him as they struggled to remove underwear. The lantern light was dim, but being able to see him fully evoked an emotion that threatened to choke him. "Look at you," Demyx said softly, running a finger down along Ienzo's chest.

"I could… say the same." He'd never been naked in front of someone else-that he could recall, anyway. The sense of exposure, of vulnerability, only tightened the emotion. It was not time to cry. His hands trembled as he touched Demyx's thighs, so slowly gathering the nerve to bring his hand up and touch his dick. The skin was warm, feverish. Demyx moaned a little, a sound that raised the fine hairs on his arms. Ienzo wasn't quite sure how to do it; his own personal attempts had never been successful. "Like this?"

"More towards the-here." He adjusted Ienzo's hand. "See how this feels?" He reached down to take Ienzo's own dick into his hand, and for a moment the shock of being touched was all he could comprehend, but then he began to notice the subtleties, his palm against the tip of it. Ienzo tried to copy that.

"So you've done this before?"

"...To myself."

Not surprising; it was a normal thing to do. He turned his focus back to his body, on the slow, complex tension building inside of him. It was almost sweet. Already he could feel the urgency of it rising. He'd never consciously felt this way. He pressed a bit harder against Demyx's palm. He wanted to know everything. This was all so interesting, the way his body felt, and how gratifying it was to also please someone else. Ienzo kissed him softly.

The outside world slid out of focus, and the anxious noise in his mind quieted. This felt almost better than the hand along his dick. Demyx's other hand tangled in his hair, making Ienzo shiver. To simply be and take this all in made him feel so… human.

The rising sensation was growing tighter, tauter, and needier. He could hear himself gasping.

"Are you close?" Demyx asked breathlessly.

"I think-I'm not entirely sure-"

He was being kissed. There was just silence and, oddly, a sort of peace. Ienzo felt it break over him, a smooth sort of shock, warm and strangely recognizable as the pale shadow that he'd felt during those dreams. He heard a small sound catch in his throat.

So. This was what all the fuss was about.

It did feel so lovely. So natural. The second he had enough control of himself he tightened his grip on Demyx, though it only took another moment or so before he, too, finished, muffling the noise he made against Ienzo's shoulder.

For a moment all Ienzo could do was lay against him, despite mess. They both tried to gather themselves. He felt tears in his eyes, but was too tired to fight them. It had been a long while since he'd felt cared for. He'd never thought Demyx could be so… gentle, or tender. Ienzo felt as though steel wire had been taken to his heart, scrubbed it raw. At the same time, the sensation was not unpleasant.

"Are you okay?" Demyx asked.

He sniffled. "I'm fine." The first time in a long while it wasn't a lie.

Demyx brushed the tear away with one finger. "I know some people don't, like, believe in virginity," he said softly.

"I'm one of them, yes. It's a social construct."

"...Even so. A first time with someone… isn't something to treat lightly." His own voice was scratchy.

"I agree wholeheartedly." There was no way this was merely physical. He realized he trusted Demyx; how else had he been so physically vulnerable? Was it possible there was more here than desire, than friendship?

Did he want that? Did he need that?

In the moment, and perhaps under the influence of the orgasm, the answer was yes .

Demyx stroked his hair. "So this was fun."

He laughed a little. "I'm definitely willing to explore this with you."

It gave Ienzo something to look forward to. At least with the possibility of release, his hormones were no longer so all-consuming. That sense of comfort, of calm, he felt when they were together was almost addicting.

And, considering the frustration of his work… it kept him sane.

Straightforward research continued to yield nothing. Ansem programmed and ran simulations, but again, all was fruitless, and tensions in that room became higher and higher-

"How many times do I have to tell you that we can prove nothing with your silly data? All these computer programs are mere frippery-" Even, his voice high and stressed.

Ansem never raised his voice, but the tone was very taught. "Such "frippery" kept Sora alive during his year of sleep. Such "frippery" might have the keys to the past, and the future. Forgive me, Even, but I don't see you coming up with any earth shattering ideas-"

"Better than toying around with video games-"

" Enough ," Ienzo snapped. "I've had it up to here with all of your arguing." The heat of the room didn't help; he could feel himself sweating under the heavy white cotton. "We're not going to make progress until you two hash it out." He crossed his arms. "Will you just talk to each other like adults? Scream at each other, fight, I don't care. I'm just sick of the wittering."

They both seemed startled by his outburst.

"Will you talk? Or what?"

Even dropped his eyes. "Where to begin," he said, almost wistfully.

"Quite," Ansem agreed. "I suppose things are neither easily forgotten nor easily forgiven." A sigh. "Ienzo's right. We cannot work well together if we cannot behave. Come, Even. I believe there's much to work through."

" Thank you," Ienzo said sourly.

Well. If they were gone.

He shed his lab coat. The AC was struggling to keep up with both the summer heat and the functioning of the CPU. Ienzo put it into sleep mode and approached Kairi. "Sorry about that," he said gently. He dragged a chair over to hers, sat, and took her hand.

His powers were stronger. Immediately and noticeably. Kairi's light latched onto him, warm and bolstering. He could see more of her memory now; running from the Organization with Naminé, walking home from school with Selphie. Her truncated months of Keyblade training, grueling but empowering to finally be able to do something. Tentative friendship with Lea.

Then, more painfully, through a veil, almost-hours in the Secret Place with Sora (Ienzo, tactfully, chose not to listen in), their separation and the fall of Destiny Islands, seeing Sora's body dissolve into light to release her heart-

Kairi took a sharp breath, her face crumpling, though she remained unconscious. Ienzo realized this process was as physically difficult for her as it was for him. I'm sorry, he thought, and let go of her hand.

When he stood, he was dizzy. Why was his power stronger? He wasn't about to complain, but there had to be a reason.

He'd embraced his humanity.

He'd stopped fighting it. Let it all in. Let himself be vulnerable, if so for a few moments. Sora's bond with Kairi, though chaster and more childish, was in essence the same as his with Demyx; it had given them the power to overcome the impossible.

The irony-embracing humanity giving him his Nobody abilities. No; much like Sora and Kairi's love gave them power to do something taboo, Ienzo's bond with Demyx would do the same. This would have a price-perhaps not as drastic or dramatic, but all the same.

Ienzo looked at his palms. The guilt was still there, thick and heady. All the people he'd indirectly killed-the least he could do was give the world its defender back.