The Disgusting Lives of the Ishuzoku Reviewers

by bigbadoneechan

In your average episode of Ishuzoku/Interspecies Reviewers, the gang gets laid and writes about it. What happens if things go wrong and get more interesting? That's what this story is about: the everyday lives of the Ishuzoku Reviewers being shaken up and thrown about. tbh I do not like the series and this is catharsis and also its very funny. many ideas by Brightside (not on site)

2. Chapter 2: A Day at the Zoo

CHAPTER 2: A Day at the Zoo

It was your average day at the inn. Stunk, Zel, Kanchal, and Bruise were all drinking and eating heartily, talking about their favorite thing in the world: sex. Crimvael and Meidri were serving customers their orders and getting stared at by the lecherous of the patrons (except Stunk, Zel, Kanchal, and Bruise, who took an oath to only have sex with Succu-Girls).

"Gorillas are NOT sexy," said Zel to his friends, looking very pouty.

"You're just saying that because they have no mana," said Stunk, "they're physical beauty is unmatched in the animal kingdom!"

"As an animal I am very pissed off by your phrasing," said Bruise the wolfman, "but I happen to agree with the sentiment that gorillas are pretty hot."

"Alright! Let's go to a brothel!" shouted Stunk, standing up and throwing his money for the food and drinks on the table.

Stunk, Zel, Bruise, and Crimvael all arrive at the zoo, thinking it's some brothel for people into bestiality. They ignore the little paper maps at the entrance and inevitably get lost in all the exhibits.

"Oh shit look, that's one weird looking gorilla!" said Stunk, pointing to a bear.

"I didn't know gorillas could swim," said Zel, looking at a dolphin.

Their confusing and ill-informed romp throughout the zoo took a sudden turn when the four friends got separated at the snake exhibit (or as Stunk called it, the "slimy gorilla exhibit"). Crimvael ended up being picked up by a cute guy consensually and they went on a date that lasted the rest of this chapter and they never got to see their friends again. Stunk and Bruise ended up finding each other in the bear exhibit again.

"Where's Crim and Zel? I swear we shouldn't have decided to get our own lunch, shoulda just gone all together," said Stunk.

"Well it's too late for that now. Besides, I didn't even go to get lunch I just shat in some bushes nearby," said Bruise.

"This brothel sure is boring, you can't even fuck the animals!" said Stunk, letting out a sigh of disappointment.

"… do you hear screaming?" asked Bruise.

The two looked around and saw Zel, completely pantless, getting mauled by a bear, screaming "oh my god this gorilla is fucking killing me!" Stunk and Bruise jumped the glass protector to save Zel when another bear ran up to them, stood up, and let out a loud growl.

"AAAAHHHH" said Stunk and Bruise in unison.

Stunk, Bruise, and Zel all got mauled by bears to death, the entire time saying "why won't these gorillas let us fuck them?"

END OF CHAPTER 2