Ch. 4 Reunions

BPOV

I felt like I was floating, warm waves of wonder and wholeness swimming around me, caressing me, pulling me deeper into this never-ending ocean and swallowing me whole. As my mind shifted from somewhere between a dream-like and conscious state, an amazingly familiar, cool, solid marble slab replaced the foreign water, and I turned to curled comfortably into the stone wall which surrounded me. I had to hold onto this feeling. It was my favorite dream.

"Mmm..." I smiled to myself, eyes still closed in my half-asleep state, as memories of happier times overwhelmed me...rolling with him between sheets, legs entangled in one another, his honey-saccharine breath tickling my back as he breathed down my shirt...You're not good enough...

I started at the memory of the disenchanted sound of his voice reminding me that these would only ever be memories. "Shit." I whispered to myself, opening my eyes slowly but holding my hand across my face to only allow the light to partially stream through as I moved one finger away at a time.

"Welcome back." A velvety smooth voice followed a silkened chuckle of bell chimes.

My hand flung away from my eyes, revealing Edward's gloriously perfect face hovering near mine as he held me against his icy, rock-hard chest. It wasn't a dream.

He was smiling softly, but it didn't look like it used to. The expression lacked the right amount of warmth...the love. This was polite indifference. This was his true feelings for me. No, he didn't love me. I wasn't good enough.

A noise somewhere between a choke and a cough escaped me as I jumped out of his arms and away from him. He had been about to set me on the ground when my sudden movement almost seemed to surprise him which only made things worse for me as I tripped over his foot, but he caught me by the hand at the last second before I hit my face on the ground. The familiar buzz of energy between us shot up my arm, and I jerked my hand away. I looked around to see that we were close to my penthouse, maybe a few blocks away. I must have only been out for a few seconds. "What do you want?" I asked him sharply.

"I'm sorry?" He seemed genuinely confused by my tone, but then his face smoothed. "Oh, excuse me. I saw you jogging and thought you might be in trouble. Then you passed out before I could properly offer assistance. My name is Edward."

"What?" My brain which was still all jumbled—even more so now as his smooth, velvety voice graced my ears and honey-lilac scent swirled around me, trapping me in its soft embrace—couldn't understand what kind of greeting that was after all this time apart, so I just stood still and continued to stare. Why was he behaving like he didn't know me? I knew his name was Edward...Actually, I knew far more than just his name.

"Edward Cullen, and you are?" He tried again.

Did he really not know it was me? What about his perfect vampire recall? I knew he didn't love me. I knew he couldn't be bothered to even finish up his senior year back in Forks as he ran away from me. I also knew that my plain humanness bored him, but to pretend that he didn't know who I was? Sure my appearance had changed a bit, but I saw him breathe me in. He would instantly know me from my scent, if nothing else. Then my cluttered thoughts came to a head, and it was decided. He wanted to be petty? Well bring it on, Cullen.

"Needing to get home." He wanted to pick up another human girl to play with? Well, it wouldn't be me, not this time. I learned my lesson. This time I would leave him wondering about the beautiful, mysterious woman who rejected him.

"It is usually customary for one person to offer their name once the other has done so..." His voice lowered as he looked down at me through his thick, dark lashes. He was flirting. He really didn't know it was me, and he was flirting!

"Ok. Well, thanks. Edmund you said?" I made my voice as indifferent as possible.

"Edward..." A small smile played on his lips.

"Right. I'll forget that, so how about I just call you Ed? I probably won't see you again anyway, so goodbye." I put emphasis on the nickname hoping he would flinch, but instead his expression remained neutral with that same slight smile.

Then, just before I turned away, I noticed his expression change. For just the smallest fraction of a second he looked to be in pain, like his insides were on fire. I couldn't understand the look, but the expression cleared into his signature stoic, coldness just as quickly—the same look he last showed me when he left me in the woods—before clearing his throat and replying, "Well, I'm glad you're alright then. Goodbye whoever you are."

"Bye." I answered flatly, not willing for him to have the last word.

Edward's eyes held no recognition for me. Was this some kind of cruel joke? 'Oh I'll just leave Bella in the woods and ultimately abandon her to fend for herself against crazy vindictive vampires, never to return until one day when I will randomly run into her, catching her off guard, and pretend not to know her just so I can cruelly remind her how little I have ever really cared about her.'

As the familiar pain shot through my chest, I recalled how broken I had been after he left, when they all left, actually, and I remembered that I was better than this. I didn't need him. I didn't need any of them. Screw the Cullens and their damned sense of superiority! I wanted to show him just how little I really needed him, so I also rearranged my expression into what I hoped was aloofness. I flicked my long ponytail over my shoulder, channelling my inner Rosalie Hale, and turned on my heel to return to my previous task, not feeling a need to respond to his false expression of concern.

I left him standing on the sidewalk as I circled back to my apartment, barely holding myself together. I clutched my chest as the stupid hole burned around the edges.

I stopped right before reaching the lobby door, and ducked into the alley between my building and the coffee shop nextdoor, my breaths raking in and out of my lungs painfully. 'I don't need him. He doesn't want me. I don't want him...'

Through long-practiced breathing techniques, I was able to calm myself enough to stand and continue back into the lobby.

"Did you break your record, Marie?" Tommy called to me with a smile from his perch.

"Not quite. I got...distracted, but there's always tomorrow, right?" My voice sounded strained. Hopefully Tommy would chalk it up to exertion after a good workout. I kept walking without waiting for a reply, heading straight to the elevator bank. I jogged in place—probably looking ridiculous—while I waited because I worried that if I were to stop moving physically, I might be overcome with feelings which I didn't want to face right now...or ever.

Edward Cullen was here. Was he here to stay? Would I run into him again? I hoped not...or did I? 'Shut up about Edward Cullen! He doesn't care about you. He told you so himself. Ignore him.'

I pushed the thoughts back as the bell rang announcing my floor, and I stepped out of the elevator. I carefully removed my shoes and took them back to my closet before going shoeless out to my oversized balcony. The smooth cool tile against my bare feet reminded me of the comfort I felt in Edward's chest as I had come back to awareness earlier. I looked out from my balcony at the view of the city, leaning against the railing as I desperately wished the cool wind could take my conflicting thoughts with it. I needed to focus on something else.

I had so much to do today, and running into Edward so unexpectedly was throwing everything off. I had a life now apart from him. He no longer held me captive in his sick game. I was better now. I was not worthless. I was a freaking rockstar! 'Look around Bella! You don't need him!'

I turned to the storage bench and pulled out my worn out yoga mat. I rolled the violet, patterned, rubber floor covering out, taking my place at its center as I turned to face the city landscape. The chaos of the city—cars speeding by honking their horns and the faint sound of sirens—calmed me. I was here in my own mind, a complex place of both peace and turmoil, but it was my own. Out there in the streets, things were constantly moving, out of control. Here was my domain. A place where I could make my own way.

I smiled in satisfaction to myself as I once again pushed past all the feeling that seeing Edward had dredged up. Now that my mind was calm, I was glad that the run-in had taken place. I had my closure now. He didn't even remember me. He didn't care about me. No matter what changes I made, I would never be for him. Oh well, his loss...but if I could just get rid of this annoying pang in my chest...

I began in a mountain pose. I stood straight, tensing my abdomen, feeling my spine align as I breathed slowly in and out. 'In with the good, out with the bad...'

I folded over into a half forward bend, feeling my biceps strain against the movement. I pushed my legs up into a steady, controlled handstand, and silently marveled at all that my body was capable of once I really focused on it.

I arched my back and allowed my legs to fall behind my head and easily held my position in a handstand scorpion. After a moment of my muscles protesting in exhausted satisfaction, I followed through, letting my feet gently touch the floor, so that I ended in a tight backbend with both feet and palms of my hands touching the ground. I walked my hands backward and up my heels, holding firm onto my ankles in a chakra bond pose, my hips hung out above me. The pain of the stance was lost to me. This was my place of peace. This was my domain. Mmmmm...

"Wow. I didn't think you had it in you, Bella."

I tripped over my own feet in a familiar, but long-lost state of imbalance when I jumped at the tiny voice chirping at me. "Ohmygod!" I hit the ground with a thud, knocking over a patio chair, but not really caring as I gawked at the tiny nymph standing before me. "Alice?" I squeaked out.

"Bella?" She asked in amusement but also with a hint of suspicion. "I told him it was you. Why he insists on arguing with a psychic, I'll never know. How ya been?"

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