CHAPTER TWO

"What do you think, Tobias?"

Johanna waits for a few seconds, looking at the young man lost in thought, who hasn't even heard the question.

"Tobias, you're not with me," insists the manager.

"Sorry? Oh, sorry, Johanna. Yes, it's a good idea."

"Which one?"

"All your ideas are good," he replies with a smile.

"You have no idea what I told you, I think." says Johanna softly.

"Sorry, I was thinking of something else. Yes, I did hear you. I'll contact the other cities, and work on setting up the exchanges you mentioned. Linking computer systems will take a certain amount of time, but it will save us a lot of effort later."

Johanna nods in silence and stares at Tobias.

"Leave the project for now, Tobias. Won't you tell me what's wrong? You have been absent, self-absorbed, maybe even withdrawn for several weeks, ever since you went to visit the orphanage."

He gives her one of his disarming little smiles, which often save him from having to explain anything. But Johanna does not seem sensitive to his charm.

"You're beating yourself up about something, Tobias. You need to talk to someone. What's on your mind?"

"It's Tris," he says, only partly lying.

"No one has forgotten her. You need to cultivate hope rather than regret, Tobias."

"I know, I'm trying to."

"You and Caleb must stick together, and try to move forward," says Johanna. "Have you seen him recently?"

Tobias, arms folded, leaning on the table, looks inquiringly at the woman he's helping, who is in charge of Chicago.

"No. He tried to contact me. But I don't particularly want to spend time with him. Why are you telling me this?"

"Why not? It makes sense to spend time together when you have something in common. You have to forgive and help each other, Tobias."

"He doesn't need me. He has plenty of people around him."

"What about you? Do you? Are they the people you want around you?"

"I told you, I'm trying."

"Whatever," murmurs the brown-skinned woman.

Johanna then pauses, sighs, and concludes:

"I'll let you think over the projects I've shown you. You can tell me which ones you think are doable, at least as far as computing goes, to start with."

Tobias gets up, places an affectionate kiss on Johanna's cheek, and heads for the door.

"Yes, I'll let you know. I'll get in touch with a few people. See you soon."

The door closes, and Johanna shakes her head and sighs.

Tobias goes home. As he opens the door, he sees his mother, wrapped in a large towel, fresh out of the shower.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't expect you so early. I'm going to get dressed," she says.

"No worries, take your time. A shower will probably do me good too." her son replies.

"What do you mean, "it will do you good"? What's up with you, Tobias, you've been looking gloomy for nearly two months now! What's wrong?"

"I'm fine, I just need to think, that's all. Johanna is entrusting me with great responsibilities. I don't know if I can manage to do everything she wants." he says, lying again.

"Tell that to the marines, son."

He smiles.

"Don't worry. I'm a big boy. But I will make you an offer, Mother…"

"Before you do," Evelyn cuts in, "I have great news. I can't wait to tell you."

"Go ahead," says Tobias, in a conciliatory tone.

"I've found a job. I've been contacted to create a training center for adults. Many people lost everything during the civil war, including the memory of the jobs they used to do. Those who have skills will organize workshops for those who want to learn. I still have a lot of contacts among those who were Factionless. We were the kings of resourcefulness. Maybe I can coordinate it all."

"It's a beautiful project. I'm happy for you, but it's strange that Johanna didn't tell me about it."

"It's not yet been discussed that high up. It's a fairly recent charity project. But I'm going to need time, materials, and space. Tobias, I'm going to look for independent accommodation. And give you back your freedom."

The young man looks at his mother, half-wary, half-smiling.

"Tell that to the marines, Mom." retorts Tobias mischievously, copying his mother.

Evelyn smiles, putting her hands around her grown-up son's head.

"You're right," she says, laughing. "It's true that I'm going to work on this project, but maybe I also have a handsome man in mind?"

Tobias smiles. Her mother is beautiful, charismatic, and still young. At barely 40, she can easily attract men.

"Don't bother. Stay here," he told her, looking around him, "most of the things that are here are yours. I'm the one who's going to move."

"Are you sure? It's your home."

"Not really," Tobias contradicts her. "These are just walls. And I've been given the opportunity to move somewhere else. I already know where I'm going. I'll also need to install computers at home to work on a project that Johanna has given me. I don't have enough room here."

"Where are you going?"

"Give me a day or two. As soon as I find a couple of people to help me carry my few things, I'll move them out and let you know," replies Evelyn's son, avoiding a direct answer.

"It bothers me to chase you away like that. Take your time; think things over."

"I've been thinking about it for a while; there is no problem, I assure you. I'll take care of all this tomorrow," says Tobias reassuringly. "I'm going to have a shower."

"As you wish. Tell me now, what where you going to offer me?"

"Nothing important, a job opportunity perhaps, but that's no longer relevant," replies the young man.

Evelyn smiles with a hint of sadness at the handsome, melancholy young man looking at her. His brown hair curls on top, and his eyes seem tired, despite their intensity. She gets on tiptoe to kiss his cheek, and then follows him with her eyes as he walks away towards his room, closed in on himself again.

As soon as her son is out of sight, her face becomes worried. He has been sleeping poorly for weeks now, fidgeting at night, and mumbling incomprehensible words in an anguished tone while sleeping. It's pointless to ask him questions. If Tobias has decided not to tell her about it, he won't. She is therefore not the person he needs to confide in. Finding solitude may allow him to make personal plans and receive visitors to whom he can talk about what is torturing him.

In the bathroom, Tobias lets the water run over his hair for a few minutes, head down, eyes closed. The trickle of water is soothing, like a patient, gentle massage. Evelyn's announcement has relieved him of a problem: he was intending to ask if it would be painful for her if he moved out. With a small smile, he says to himself that she had probably guessed his need, and anticipated his request, tactfully, presenting the request as if it came from her.

As he dries himself, he decides he will contact the director of the orphanage tomorrow to find out if the offer still stands. Perhaps the animation reigning in the building will give him some relief from his obsessive thoughts. Despite his stubborn desire to obscure reality, he will have to face it one day. Johanna is right: as she once said to Beatrice at the Amity farm, being consumed by hatred or fear does not solve problems, nor does it make them disappear.

He is no longer able to concentrate or work efficiently since receiving a message from Caleb, a month and a half ago, which read: "She is awake."