It's Personal

I had climbed into bed soon after being dismissed, planning on getting some sleep before it was my shift. Something told me I would need the rest. I was going to be back to pretending I could do my job soon enough. Coulson seemed determined to take Amador in rather than out, a sentiment I couldn't quite understand. But that may be the ankle talking, or the fact that I came really close to losing close to all of my friends today. It was startling how much each of them had grown on me in such a short time, but I guess when all you used to have were white walls actual people were easy to attach to. It was making me fiercely protective at least and not just of the guys who I needed to watch out for. I don't know how but I would break Amador's arm just for breaking Skye's. Then I'd probably die as she snapped me in half.

I knew they weren't her actions. She was being hijacked by someone way out of our league if what Fitz said was true. I knew I should have more sympathy for her, but I just couldn't muster it. I didn't understand why Coulson was so set on redeeming her.

Maybe it was because I would die before I let them do anything that would force me to harm my friends or Coulson. They wouldn't be putting anything in my eye for sure.

But then I remembered just how much guilt Coulson seemed to have. I was drowning over a few weeks of it. I couldn't imagine seven years of thinking you were now the reason someone lost everything and was now devoid of choice. The pit he must have in his stomach right now…

I knew I wasn't getting any sleep like this. My brain just wasn't calming down. And as I sat up to put my head in my hands I realized I just really needed to talk to someone. Things were bottling up and to find my calm I had to let some of them out.

I knocked on the bunk next to mine, sticking my head in to see Fitz snoring softly. "Lee," I whispered loudly. "Lee. Are you awake?" Now I knew the answer, but you always ask it. And you always press on despite it. "Lee."

"Hmm…" he groaned, turning on his side. I took this as an invitation and perched myself on the edge of his bed with my arms crossed.

"Are you up?" Again the answer was obvious, but I had to stick to formality.

"Well I am now…" I heard him mutter.

"Good. I need to talk to you." He nodded, eyes still closed. I smacked the leg closest to me. "Hey. I need you awake for this."

"Whatever you say, Ash." And then his brain caught up with his mouth and he was a flurry of motion. He shot up, hands pulling the covers up over his chest despite the fact he was clearly wearing a grey shirt. He blinked at me rapidly as I just watched in amusement. "Ash? Why are you… W-what are you doing here?" He glanced at his clock next to his bed. "It's two in the morning."

"I couldn't sleep."

"So you thought that if you couldn't no one else could either?" he questioned, hands still holding the cover up protectively. I don't even think he realized he was doing it.

"No. I just… there's something I've been keeping secret," I began. "And I thought I could handle it by myself, but it's really getting to me. My brain won't shut up about it really. So I need to just… tell someone. Though I'm really scared you'll judge me and hate me and we won't be friends anymore. But I just need to go for it otherwise I might go insane." I stared at him for a moment, but he didn't even react. "Umm… may I proceed?"

He yawned loudly. "I suppose you might as well since I'm up."

Here it was-moment of truth. I played with my hands in my lap and braced myself. "I slept with Ward when we got back from Quinn's."

I didn't see his reaction, but I can imagine it. It consisted of nodding, then eyes widening comically, and finally a bit of flailing about. "What?" I looked up to see his hand was on his head as if trying to process. He was completely still which was bad new. Fitz was comfortable when in motion. It was hard not to observe over time. Stillnnes didn't bode well. I gave him a minute but he merely ended up repeating himself. "What?"

"It just happened," I sputtered in a desperate bid to explain myself, turning completely towards him cross-legged on his bed. "I hate that it did. I regretted it instantly. You can believe me when I say it won't-"

"Stop. Stop." He ran his hands over his face, ending with them tucked under his chin as he stared at me. I-I'm… I didn't need to know this. Why did you tell me this?"

"I need to tell someone- confess to someone really actually. Get it out there off my chest because I felt like it was choking me. I needed a Girl Talk," I concluded, reflecting on what I knew and could recall about social interaction.

This didn't win him over. "I'm confused. Why did you come to me then?"

"I couldn't go to Skye or Jemma. They'd freak out big time. I needed a Girl Talk with someone who wouldn't act like a girl." Now there was just awkward staring and I realized I had just botched this entire thing. Fitz was never going to have a conversation with me again. "I was just looking for someone who wouldn't judge me- someone I could trust. You know what, I should go."

I was almost out the door when I he spoke up. "Sit back down, Ash." I quietly obliged. "So… you slept with Ward," he tried to say as if it was normal, but his tone betrayed him. "And it was no big- I don't think I can do this the way you want me to. I-I'm sorry. I don't know how-how to be what you need." He took a deep breath before speaking again. "It was just one thing- infinitely small on the scale of the universe. It will fade with time to the point no one will even remember who you are let alone the fact that you and Ward… did stuff. It'll be okay." He reached across to where my hand was resting and awkwardly patted it. "We all make mistakes. You're still you and I have to admit I do think of you a bit differently given everything… but that's not necessarily bad."

And just like that I was tearing up like an idiot. "Oh-oh my God," he panicked. "I'm so sorry. Oh, I completely botched it. I didn't mean- Ashleigh I-"

"No," I insisted. "You did great. Thank you. It feels good that someone outside the two of us knows- like a weight off my chest." And it did. It felt great and freeing. If only I could get the rest of it out, but I knew there was too much at stake for that as I scratched the sleeve covering my tattoo. It almost had a slight burn to it.

"I still don't think I really needed to know, but if it made you feel better I guess it's alright." And then we just sat there for a moment, things getting a little awkward in the cramped space as neither of us really knew what to do now.

"I should go back to bed," I said finally and hastily rising. "Thank you again for listening. Sorry if I scarred you for life and gave you mental images you could live without. I will- I guess I'll see you when I bring you breakfast tomorrow."

He nodded. "Yeah. Yeah. I actually think I might go down to the lab for a bit… since I'm up. You're sure there's nothing else you want to tell me since I'm up though?"

Oh how I wish I could. I couldn't speak but did manage to give just a slight shake of the head. "Sounds like a plan. Night Lee," I gave him my warmest smile, endlessly appreciative for what he had just endured for my sake.

He smiled right back at me, completely sincere. "Night Ash." Every bit the fondness as he had before. We might be in a weird place, but things hadn't changed too drastically. We were still friends. He didn't think I was some sort of… a lot of words I'd rather not attach to myself. I was still his Ash. And now someone could get me through the rougher moments- I wasn't completely on my own anymore. That was all good. That was what I needed. This had been a good idea overall I think. I managed to fall asleep pretty quickly when I crawled back in bed at least.

XXX

"Ash. Ash." I woke to Fitz sticking his head in my bunk. Oh no, I had probably overslept and missed my shift. "Ash, get dressed. We need to move now." I sat up and rubbed the sleep from eyes. It was much too early to be up- let alone functioning- for me. "May went after Amador alone."

Never mind. I was up. I threw off the covers and jumped out of bed, grabbing the first thing I could find in my drawers. "I'll be ready in a minute," I promised. I knew there had been something to how she was acting. I needed to start trusting my instincts more.

I threw my clothes on in the bathroom, sweater like usual, and ran to meet everyone at the car. Skye was a few minutes behind me with her laptop bag and then we all were off- Coulson driving quite like a madman. Ward was in the passenger's seat beside him while the four of us were somehow contained in one row behind all of them. It was quite cramped and I regretted not taking a shower before we left, but then I figured no one had probably been able to. "What exactly happened?" Skye asked.

"May saw Amador look at something that had the name of the hotel. Amador also got a message about going to the 'Todorov building' which we figure must be her next mission. May then kept quiet about it and took off after I fell asleep working on Ward's suggestions in the lab," Fitz relayed. He noticed Simmons give him a look. "I couldn't sleep," he shrugged off. "I-I thought I might as well get some work done."

"So what'll happen when she finds her?" Skye continued. "I doubt the folks in her head are going to let us walk off with her as friends."

"They won't," Coulson agreed. "Which means we need to get ahold of her and remove the device promptly."

Simmons drew in a breath at this. "Sir, we don't know about the device or how it fits into her biology. If we try to do this in the field without the right knowledge and equipment we may very well kill her," she tried to get across to him.

"It would need to be back in the lab," Fitz agreed with her, all of us being thrown about as Coulson took a sharp turn. I kind of wish Ward was driving right now- at least he managed to make speeding seem smooth. "It-it needs to be a controlled environment with minimal variables and the right supplies. It-"

"It would take the two of us in perfect sync to do."

"Something tells me that part won't be a problem," I quipped, trying to relax the both of them. They were both just waiting for our boss to give his orders though.

"Then we'll bring her back," Coulson said as if it was that easy. Oh, I wish. If we got there before May we were going to be under attack. If we got there after May… she was probably going to be dead. And I was grappling with the fact that I didn't feel too bad about that possibility. I should, right? After Hall the loss of another life should be absolutely against my code. Coulson's determination should be enough, but for some reason this time it wasn't.

Maybe because I was being elbowed in the ribs right now by Skye's cast.

"Sir, then we ran into the same exact problem as before," Ward reasoned, bringing his logic into the conversation. "Whoever in controlling her must have a way of hurting her if she disobeys- probably even kill her." I hadn't thought about that, but it had to be true. "If her captors see the situation isn't going their way… she'll be worth more dead to them than alive." Coulson frowned deeply, clearing desperately trying to think of something. I think we were nearly there and this wasn't one we wanted to make up as we went along. I got the feeling my talking wouldn't appeal to the person behind the camera much.

"Then what if we make them think she's still on her mission," Fitz thought up and broke the silence. He instantly had the attention of the room in that moment. "W-we patch the feed from her eye to something else, make them think she's still on the mission while someone else does it. We would place something over the eye t-that would give the same impression of-"

"Glasses," I couldn't help but cut in as I caught on. "We rig a pair of glasses."

"Bingo."

"Oh, Fitz that is simply marvelous," Jemma complimented, clearly very proud of her fellow scientist. "With Skye's laptop we might just be able to do it from the car!" Skye instantly yanked her laptop out of the bag and pulled the feed up on it. Right now it just depicted a corner of the room.

"Can you do it?" Coulson questioned form the driver's seat, hope clear in his voice.

"If I have glasses with a camera and a bit of time I think I should be able to," Skye confirmed. Well, that might be a bit of a hitch. Where the hell-

Suddenly, a hand was sticking out into the back seat with a pair of glasses in their hand. We all looked up in unison to see they had come from Ward. "Do you have a rabbit in your coat too?" I asked in disbelief as Skye grabbed them, finding a cable in her bag that fit so she could attach them to her laptop.

"They're standard issue," he shrugged. "Some missions need to be monitored and that's the best way to look at the footage afterwards."

"I do have a pair myself," Coulson backed him up. "I threw them out years ago though."

I might be in trouble. Was this a standard thing? "I never got a pair," I countered, trying to keep the mood light. "I guess they must have trusted me to do my job." Coulson smiled and I relaxed a bit. It had worked.

"So the plan will work?" Fitz couldn't help but say in slight disbelief. "I-I actually figured it out?"

I spoke up as Jemma nodded in delight. "Ward wears the glasses into the building, perfectly ready to handle if anything goes south." I wasn't trying to boost his ego- it had been proven true time and time again. Didn't make his smile any less infuriating though, but I buried it. "And meanwhile you two removes the real device from her eye back at the Bus with Amador," I couldn't help but marvel at how brilliant it was. "Plus we have an agent in that building so we could get intel as to what's going on." I clapped, smiling broadly at him. "Oh, I told you that you were brilliant!" The one he gave me back was nearly from ear to ear.

"One problem guys," Skye cut into our celebration. "She's seen May. They're fighting right now."

Coulson nodded to Ward and the two scrambled out of the car. "Dendrotoxin only," he commanded, grabbing the prototype of Fitz's pistol he had thought to grab. Everyone was seriously on their A-Game today.

"Night-night gun," Fitz muttered bitterly under his breath. I patted his shoulder for comfort.

Coulson quickly addressed his back row of Agents. "The rest of you stay here and come up when everything's over."

"I would hurry," Skye commented. "May might be good, but I don't know how good she is now that Amador turned off the lights." And they were off at a sprint, leaving the four of us huddled around the screen. Skye continued to type away, making a noise of frustration as her right hand fumbled under the cast's weight. "This would be so much easier with both arms. It's going to be while before we can go wireless."

I knew it might not be the moment, but I felt the need to address the obvious. "I'm sorry," I told her sincerely. "If I had move the van-"

"She would have hit us in the back of it and potentially killed Fitz and Simmons," Skye finished in a way different that I intended. Both of the scientists nodded in agreement but let her take the lead. "It's fine. I'm fine, which honestly surprises me because I should be traumatized in a ball on the ground where the van landed. But you were right. We didn't need Ward because we had each other's backs. We always will. You had mine and led us all through that in a way I never could. This may be a pain in my ass but it'll heal." She locked eyes with me for a brief moment. "I'd say you can put a check in the win column and move on, because you were awesome."

"I will," I promised, doing my best to move on in the moment. Anything for Skye to keep her faith in this whole operation. Anything to keep that finally slightly earned faith in me.

"I talked to Coulson though and as soon as we get time we're taking my van out so you can learn how to drive," she added, returning to her work. Now it was turn to smirk.

"Sounds like a plan," I agreed.

"Remind me to stay of the roads that day," Fitz made light of the moment, making me smack him on the arm.

She was suddenly opening the car door. "The feed's just black now. They must have managed to knock her out." We all followed her as she held her laptop, taking off in the direction they had gone. It was easy to find- it was the one with the door kicked in. Amador was on the floor unconscious and May thankfully didn't look too worse for wear.

"Alright, let's get moving," Coulson commanded. "There's no audio so we should be alright in that regard. We need to make it look like she got up and then went out to take care of things." Ward and Skye went to work and he put the glasses on, laying on the floor right next to Amador and closing his eyes. "The second Skye's ready we bolt and get her back. We won't have a lot of time. You two will take her vehicle and complete the mission as instructed."

"Got it," Skye confirmed. "I'll have to stay connected for now, but I should be able to detach you when we get there." She typed a few things and we all waited, adrenaline coursing through me at least. May wasn't saying anything, but seemed to be taking in what we had thought of curiously. I just hoped she wouldn't ruin everything. I suspected she wouldn't- not in front of Coulson. "We're ready," she told us finally.

Coulson nodded and I found myself helping him carry Amador back to the car before we took off to make sure Ward's glasses wouldn't even see us on the road. Not a whole lot was exchanged except for a look between May and Coulson when they both climbed in to the separate vehicles they had driven here.

"We'll talk later," Coulson said in his most authoritative tone. And that was it. Just silence being replaced in the back seat with the motionlessly body off a woman with a camera in her eye. Nothing out of the ordinary really.

XXX

Coulson wanted me in the room when Amador woke up, so I waited patiently at his side figuring out what exactly I was going to say. He had a bed brought down to our Interrogation Suite as I referred to it and camped out in a chair. I figured I would let him take the lead since she would obviously be more comfortable, but I would have to lend aid where I could. She looked a lot less threatening asleep, clad all in dark but grungy clothing, but it didn't stop every muscle from tensing when she finally opened her eyes. I was almost ready to throw myself at her in a heartbeat.

"Hello Akela," he greeted warmly and very much like a mentor trying to talk someone off a ledge. "You're safe now." She was shooting up out of bed, but I could instantly see it was more out of disorientation than intention to attack. I was still on guard though. "Give it a minute. I hit you with a powerful dendrotoxin."

She took a few deep breath before speaking, not even looking at us. "There's a kill switch in my eye," she informed us, slightly in disbelief. "Why hasn't my handler blown it yet?"

And then I felt it- that pull to reach out to her just a bit. I was still wary but just needed to tell her she wasn't about to die any moment. "Your handler doesn't know you're here," I told her gently. "They think you're heading to complete your mission after taking out May right now."

"How?" she demanded, thought with no ferocity as I would have expected. It was complete desperation.

"We hijacked your feed," Coulson explained. "One of my Agents is now wearing a set of glasses mimicking your implant. Right now, it's transmitting his point of view as if it were yours. It even has backscatter imaging," he couldn't help but have pride at that. Skye had outdone herself.

"I get messages from my handler."

"We're getting those too," I let her know. "We're going to whatever we want there- complete your mission- while here we disable that fail-safe in your eye." She froze at that- almost like she didn't know what to do with that information. Fitz-Simmons had said it was the best they could do upon examination. The device was too tricky to remove, but they could give Amador her free will back. They were prepping now with the intent of moving as soon as we could.

"I promise they can't see you. You're okay, Akela," Coulson vowed. "Look at me." And she did, slowly turning to look at the both of us. And I felt myself take a deep breath and let that tension go like May had taught me. This woman wasn't going to harm us at all. She looked almost… afraid of us. "This is Agent Crawford, another one of my Agents." I gave a little wave but she mostly ignored me, eyes on Coulson. "How long have they been monitoring you?"

"Years." And just like that, my heart broke for her. She sounded so tired. How had she done this? How had she managed to live like that? "Why are you doing this, Coulson?" she questioned.

Coulson went with the Agent answer, which surprised me. But he did know her better. "I need to know why a prox card is worth thirty million-"

"No," she cut off the intel we had gathered about the goings on at the hotel. "Why are you doing this? Why are you helping me?" She seemed so disappointed in herself, so angry that we wanted to help her almost. She had given up on herself a long time ago. "Where's the 'I told you so'?"

I watched Coulson sigh and soften, knowing he needed to answer this for the both of them. "That's not me anymore." It's hard to picture that it ever was. "I'm just glad you're alive."

She turned away from us at that, staring at the wall. "Vanchat would have never caught us if I'd just done my job." Her voice was breaking now and I realized she was just as full of regret as he was. The two of them made quite the pair after all. "I should have listened to you… trusted my team like you insisted. If I had… they might still be alive."

Coulson gave her a long minute to collect herself before rising to hand her a bottle of water. She turned to face him now, seeming more ready to open up now that she had gotten her biggest regret off her chest. I just stood next to him, completely ready to listen to her story with an open mind now. "How did you manage to escape?" he asked finally.

"I didn't. Got caught in the crossfire, went down. Woke up in some half-assed triage bay, blind in this eye," she gestured to her right one. "Spent the next four years alone in a cage at the bottom of a copper mine."

I spoke up as she paused to take a sip. "He did look for you."

Coulson nodded. "Heard rumors you'd been taken to the ShanXi province."

"When a team finally came, I thought it was S.H.I.E.L.D. at first, but…"

I couldn't take it anymore and sat on the bed next to her, resting a comforting hand on her knee. She looked like she didn't quite know what to do with the gesture. "Who were they?" I asked, ready to take them out for what she had been through.

"Don't know even to this day, but they were organized." Information was coming a lot easier now. This was the stuff she had been trained to handle. She could relay facts like an Agent. "They took me to a clinic. I had multiple surgeries. Until one day, I could see out of both eyes again. I was so grateful… until I realized what they'd done."

"You were being watched," I said for her with sympathy when she hesitated. "They were watching your every move now."

She nodded, attention now on talking to me. "I had no idea until they sent the first message. Then the assignments started. Mostly, it was 'steal this', 'follow him', 'break into there'. I just tried to ignore them, but when I did I'd get this pain like and electric migraine."

I winced at the thought. "Their way of keeping you on a leash."

"Now when I think about my years in the cage… I miss it." She took another sip. "I wish I could go back, be alone, sleep in peace."

"I know." I made known that I empathized with how she felt. "We need your help to end this though."

"I don't have any information about the prox card," she admitted. "Intel comes in pieces so I never can have the full picture." I understood that immensely. I only had bits and pieces too. But I couldn't admit that and instead let the two of them go back and forth trying to figure out who her handler was. This was where Coulson excelled, getting someone to think like an Agent. It always worked for me.

"Sir, we're ready down here," Simmon's voice came in through the intercom system. We quickly dismissed ourselves, myself giving her one last pat on the leg, and headed up to where Fitz and Simmons were ready in their goggles and lab coats.

"Ward's on-site so we don't have much time," Coulson let the two know. They both looked completely out of their league and it didn't quite inspire confidence.

"To remove her eyeball," Fitz reminded us, schematics of the device up behind us.

"Yeah, ocular surgery is not really my field of expertise," Simmons admitted.

"We've got no other choice," I shrugged. "If Ward's caught they're going to kill her whether it be by exploding or poisoning or doing something very bad to her. We can't let that happen to her after everything she's been through. She deserves better and we'll give it to her." The two nodded at that, seeming to gear themselves up.

"I'm going to find out whose finger's on the trigger," Coulson informed us before heading for the glass doors. "Be ready to move as soon as I do, Crawford."

"Yes, sir," I agreed, though confused as to why I was going with him rather than staying here with Amador to keep her calm. Or keep Fitz-Simmons calm given the jitters they seem to be having. I looked at the two of them. "It's going to be fine. You got this. Do this… and I will share my Pop Tarts with you unconditionally."

Simmons just blinked at me. "Are you seriously trying to bribe us with snacks in the situation of removing someone's eye?"

"Is it working?"

"No," Simmons insisted at the exact moment Fitz said, "Yes."

"Good. I should get in the car." I gave them a thumbs-up before heading towards the glass doors to the cargo bay. "Thank God I don't have to watch the surgery," I muttered happily to myself. I seriously might have passed out on that one. Which reminded me. "Try not to faint at the disgusting eyeball, Lee."

"Very funny, Ash," he retorted sarcastically, though clearly it was going to be a concern already on his mind. I hopped into Lola and Coulson was along a few moments later, seeming to approve of my choice in car. With a last wave at Fitz-Simmons and Amador as they led her in, the two of us were off.

"He's local. May's going to keep us updated as we close in," he informed me as we took some narrow dirt roads towards town.

"Are you and May speaking to one another?" I questioned.

"We cleared the air," he said simply. "It didn't take much. We've known each other a long time and I understand what she felt she was doing just as she understands me." I wish everything was that simple when it came to Coulson and May.

"I don't understand you," I admitted, earning a glance. Clearly I just needed to get things off my chest today, especially if we're going into the scenario I think we are. "We're going up against her handler who's probably ready to fight you to his last breath. And you're taking me with knowing full aware I'll be no help and you'll just waste time trying to protect me like in Peru."

"I don't see it like that," he disagreed.

"Then what do you see it as? Because like with me coming along in the van you keep insisting I be there despite clear indications I'm out of where I'm useful."

"Did they want to call as soon as we left?" he asked bluntly, taking my shocked lack of response as a reply. "I figured as much. But you stopped them and you kept them together. Just like you did back in the lab with Fitz-Simmons. Agent Crawford, I chose you for this team first because your credentials made you seem too good to pass up. And don't get me wrong because you are good at what you have been trained to do. But now I see what your real power is and I have every intention of using it."

"What's that?" I asked, undeniably curious. He smiled.

"You make people better just by being around them. You push, you unify, you comfort, and you inspire protection and dedication. I know when I go after this handler that you will be right by my side and you will try to help me in every and any way you can even if it is outside your comfort range- like your training with May. But you will push yourself for me. And I turn I will be analyzing the situation and seeing angles I hadn't before so you know I have your back too."

I didn't know what to say. How do you respond to that? I was just… blown away. I never thought I could inspire something like that in anyone. But then I tried to reign it in, remember that it was all fake. I suddenly hated this conversation. "Sir-"

"And it's not training. It's not something they can teach you in any Academy. It all just comes from you, who you are, and I value it immensely. You are doing a great job and deserve to be here because I think a lot of situations could benefit somehow from an Ashleigh Crawford." I wanted to hug him. I seriously think I just wanted to tackle this wonderful man in a hug. If he was who I was fighting to save then I would sacrifice myself a thousand times over for him. That was the kind of loyalty he inspired in his people with a few short words.

I felt like I was being myself, so maybe this all did just come down to me and who I was. Maybe I was actually enough for this. I wasn't that good at pretending… I think. God, this was all getting so disorientating. I was losing where the lies ended and began. I couldn't help but think how much easier it would be if I could find out what kind of person I was. Maybe then I could see that Coulson was right and accept his compliment without absolutely loathing myself.

We pulled to a stop outside the town and took off through the streets, Coulson having the comm in his ear. I stayed behind him naturally, but was looking every which way for what had been described as a large Englishman. We ran into a square with people walking every which way, but then I spotted one who seemed to be in an awful hurry.

"I think I've got him," I informed Coulson, taking off at a run to cut the man off. I managed to get myself right in his path so that he would 'knock me to the ground' in his rush, sprawling out in the pavement.

"Oh dear," he muttered, stopping to reach and help me up. Which I hadn't really been expecting from a handler who has the power to control a kill switch in someone's eyeball. I was hoping I could throw him off enough for Coulson to step in, but clearly this guy had other plans and wanted to be a gentleman. Something was up and I could see Coulson sensed it too. "I'm very-"And then his eyes went wide as he stared at me. "You're S.H.I.E.L.D.," he gasped as my hand dropped from his. "Oh God."

We both saw it and it was instantaneous. It was a small pop and then a cloud almost appeared in front of his left eye. And then he fell forward on top of where I was still on the ground. The instant I figured out what had happened Coulson had already pulled me away and up. He was being controlled too. Her handler had just been acting under someone else's orders himself.

"Crawford," Coulson got my attention. I got the feeling this wasn't the first time he was saying this. "Are you okay? We need to get out of here."

I numbly nodded and steered myself after a deep breath to clear my head. I needed to keep it together. There was nothing that could have been done differently. The second his eye was able to I.D. me it was over. My hands were shaking but I squeezed them tight and just focused on breathing.

Coulson looked my way once I had climbed back into Lola, clearly worried about how eerily quiet I was being. And probably the fact a body had just fallen on me. "You did everything-"

"I know," I nodded, somehow reaching a place of acceptance. I couldn't tear myself up over this. There was no way we could have known and if we did then it would have been different. But the situation was impossible. "I know," I repeated, more confident. "I'm okay."

He accepted this and we were off. I sat in silence for a moment before speaking again. "How far does this go Coulson?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "But I have every intention of finding out."

So did I. And after seeing the horror in that man's face and hearing Amador's story they were lucky if I decided to leave any of them standing.

XXX

Everything seemed to have gone smoothly. Fitz-Simmons removed the eye, Ward and Skye got some very interesting data that needed to be analyzed, and I managed a quick good-bye to Amador before she was transported off the Bus. I vowed to speak and help her in any way that she needed. I was tempted to go for the hug, but felt it wouldn't be appreciated. So I restrained myself appropriately.

I was currently in my bunk studying my tablet after a training session that actually included a punching lesson when I heard a knock. I looked up and smiled at the sight of Fitz. "Hey. What can I do for you?" I greeted.

"N-now I'm still learning the fine details but from what I understood having a Girl Talk that involves a male subject requires a certain follow-up."

I snorted. "And what would that be?"

"You and I are going to watch a movie while eating a pint of ice cream. We can talk if you want, but I'm honestly not quite sure I want any sort of details."

"A movie sounds great," I smiled, rising. We both started towards the couches and television. "What did you have in mind?"

"Well, I polled our options given the DVD's we have aboard and the situation. There was even a table involved." He gestured for me to have a seat on the couch where two pints of chocolate ice cream sat on coasters. "We are going to watch Walk the Line. It's got real life romance, some drama, and just a hint of melodrama with musical accompaniment. Checks every category." I had no idea what that was, but it sounded alright to me if he went through so much trouble.

"Sounds great," I nodded, grabbing my spoon and pint. I noticed something behind the coaster as Fitz started the movie and sat next to me. "What's that?" I gestured to the crumbs in a plastic bag.

"I did promise to save you the last cookie and I am a man of my word." I just smiled at him and he returned with a large one of his own. Not a thing different between us.

"You're the best, Lee."

He settled in, leaning back and taking a first bite of the ice cream. "Only because you are the second-best Ash. I'm sorry but I can't throw Simmons to the wolves like that." And it was strange, but most of me actually believed he could mean it about me. It was a possibility. "Just like I said, please don't mention Ward in any capacity."

"Okay, but only because you didn't faint during the surgery."

"I'll be expecting that Pop Tart tomorrow as promised, no complaints."

And it may sound totally off the wall, but sitting there with my ice cream and my movie- well, I think I knew that this place was where I belonged finally. I deserved to be here. I had a place here. I had a purpose here.

Maybe Past Me hadn't been so crazy when she put us through this after all.

I just couldn't help the errant thought that giving my best to everyone and being the person they thought I was might mean breaking orders and telling them the truth.

XXX

Here we are. Sorry it's a little late, but it's here. Thank you to MilliePrue-BellatrixLestrange, MulishaMaiden, Bruno Santos 30, romanogersfeels, Guest, and GiraffePanda2 for their reviews. They mean a lot. Now everyone do your selves a favor and go see Ant-Man because it's just so much fun. Okay? Okay! See you soon!