That Little Thing Called Trust

The only thing worse than be walked through the Bus, the only place that you could consider your home in any capacity, in a pair of handcuffs was the fact that you had to pass the only friends you had. They felt familiar clasped around the wrists held directly in front of me, taking me back to the first few days after I woke up. I was a threat somehow then and I guess I was back to being one now. May had at first had a hand on my shoulder, but let go when it quickly became apparent I would accept the decision that had been made and made my way to the Interrogation Room with a straight face and dignified manner with my eyes locked on the floor in front of me.

It had actually been May who ended up putting the cuffs on me and offered to walk me to our makeshift jail cell. She had naturally played dumb, pretended to see the tattoo for the first time, and let Coulson give her a hasty and weak explanation as he tortured himself over what to do. I had never planned on taking her down with me. She had her own secrets and I got the feeling she wouldn't be admitting them anytime soon. My mentor of sorts had then thrown the handcuffs on my wrists and asked if I should be walked down. Coulson had merely stared blankly ahead, something she took as an affirmative but I took as that he was still deciding. Which was good for me I suppose though I hated that this was clearly torturing him.

"What's going on?!" I actually cringed at the voice, the Scottish accent clearly confused. My heart felt like it was being squeezed so hard I couldn't breathe as I looked up to see Fitz standing in the doorway of the Briefing Room. "What the bloody hell are you doing May?!" Now he was angry as well, and I could imagine how this sight must look. Simmons and Ward were now standing behind him silently, just staring while trying to puzzle what was going on here. I hope Coulson explained it to them honestly, because I didn't know if I had it in me to do it again. Especially when I looked Fitz directly in the eye and almost started crying just at how frantic he seemed. I tried to force myself to smile to comfort him, but I don't think the effort came off very well. But that's alright. He wouldn't care that much about me in an explanation. I was really going to lose him this time- all of them.

"Ash?!" he cried as I passed him, turning my head to keep his eyes on mine for as long as I could. "What are you doing?! Ash!" He tried to run forward, but Ward barred him with a hand across the doorway. I was positive Ward didn't know what was going on, but he seemed to trust the decision that had been made about me. Maybe he thought I had conspired with Skye or something. If only it was that simple. Fitz pushed against it, but he obviously wasn't strong enough to overcome the obstacle. "Where are you taking her?! Ash! Ash!"

May brought us to a halt right before the Interrogation Room, spinning me around roughly to face her. Her mouth was a hard line and I could see the fury threatening to peek through her stoic demeanor. I was lucky I wasn't being kicked into a wall right now in all honestly. "I hope you have at least a small grasp on how utterly and completely you have failed S.H.I.E.L.D."

"It's funny, because in my mind I think I did exactly the opposite." We both stared at one another for a long moment and I refused to back down in the slightest. I had done the right thing and she couldn't convince me otherwise.

So I was deposited into the cell without another word, stalking past where Skye and Lydon were bickering opposite one another to stand in a corner sliding down it to sit on the floor with a sigh. Skye took a glance at me before returning to her argument only to turn back to me suddenly and dramatically as she registered the handcuffs on my wrists. She opened and closed her mouth very rapidly, unable to form words as she just stared down at me from her metal chair. She was handcuffed to the chair in what had to be a very uncomfortable angle as they had to be placed above her cast, making her have to bend over quite a bit.

"Ashleigh, what the hell- oh," she smiled coyly, believing she had figured something out. "I get it. This is a tactic you and Coulson are putting on. He brings you in here and I going to badger you so that my conscience gives way and I confess everything I know to get you out of this mess because of course I know you had nothing to do with it. Well, I do know nothing. So there is nothing I can do to protect you once he comes in- or sends Ward in because that would honestly make me feel worse for you. So the joke is on you and your little S.H.I.E.L.D. tactic because not only is it not going to work but I figured it out! Ha!"

Well, at least she was excited. "It's not a tactic," I tried to burst her bubble, completely solemn.

"Sure. Right. We'll see what happens when Ward comes in and starts beating you up or something and I won't be able to help."

I really didn't feel like repeating myself, but I suppose it was better she heard it from me rather than anyone else. My eyes also fell on the camera directly across of me and I pictured the other three gathered around the screen trying to piece together what was going on with a myriad of different emotions. Now was my chance to set the record straight myself and despite suddenly being exhausted I knew I had to take it. I couldn't stop doing the right thing now.

"Skye," I began, shifting a little against the wall so my head was resting against it, "The reason I am here with you now is because I told Coulson the truth. You see, I've been lying to you- to all of you," I added with a glance to the camera. I was almost crying again, but I forced myself to hold out and be strong. I may lose my friends right now, but they'll know the truth. Look at the small positives I guess. "I'm not an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. Fury and Hill made it all up, everything that I've supposedly done before being on this Bus. My first mission was actually when we met you. In a way, I'm just as new to this as you are."

She sat in silence for a moment, taking this in and knowing I was telling the truth. Lydon was wisely keeping his mouth shut and just observing this confusing display in front of him. I put my head back down to stare at the handcuffs when she spoke again. "Then who are you?" I looked back up at her, sad smile on my face despite myself.

"I really don't know," I admitted. "I woke up at S.H.I.E.L.D. -in the most secure location- with nothing but Ashleigh Crawford in my head. They can't find me anywhere though so even that might just be a lie." I took a deep breath to steady myself. "Other than that- nothing up in the noggin in terms of memories. No family. No friends. No clue what I did for the last twenty something odd years. It's why I don't know how to drive and have never seen Star Wars. Just a possibly fake name, the actually fake belief I was an Agent, and a tattoo." I glanced down at my exposed wrist, watching a drop of water hit the cursive letters only to realize I was actually crying.

I quickly wiped my face with my other hand before reading the words out loud. "It says that I need to join Coulson's team. I need to save him. I have no idea who or how really. Fury just figured I had to do this with good reason, so here I am. He gave me orders to keep the whole thing secret and play pretend like I was this big Agent with special skills to help out. But I just- I just couldn't handle lying anymore, especially to all of you." And there it was-all of it out in the air. I probably would have felt the weight be lifted off my chest if my heart wasn't so heavy with dread over what happened next. "I don't know who I am." I traced the words silently, even when I heard the metal of the chair and table echo through the room a few moments later.

"I would go over there and hug you, but I'm currently handcuffed to a table." I couldn't help but smile at her statement. I don't think she quite knew what to say after that and so we fell into silence, waiting for something but we didn't know what.

Ward soon came into the room, fully ignoring me and Skye to loom over Lydon. I went back to tracing my tattoo in the corner- figuring everyone wanted me to stay out of all this from here on out. . "She's been defending you, saying you're a stand-up guy." I instantly looked up at the conflict at the words, knowing the team must have something good. "So I'm going to give you a chance. Do you want to tell her or should I?" He dropped something on the table and I craned my neck to try and get a peek. It was too high up though.

Lydon merely glared at Ward. "I don't have to listen to-"

"There goes your chance," Ward said simply, opening what looked to be an envelope himself. "Your boyfriend here made a few deposits in the days following the leak." He started to lay things out on the table and I decided I wasn't going to just hide in the corner anymore, curiosity be damned. I was still in this investigation. I rose and made my way over to see a line of checks along the table. Ward didn't spare me a glance, which at the moment was a good thing. He wasn't chasing me away. "All said… it's about a million dollars."

"What?" Skye asked in a voice laced with pure betrayal. I instantly had one of my handcuffed hands on her shoulder, knowing how hard this was going to be for her.

"Real stand-up guy," Ward said with a little too much gleeful sarcasm in my opinion.

Lydon just had his focus on Skye. "I can explain-"

"Did you sell information? Miles?" she questioned him with ferocity. "Yes or no? Did you?!"

"Yes, but-"

The table rattled as Skye tried to stand up, but it was no use. I did take a step back from her though and made my way to the side of the table opposite Ward. I saw his eyes go to my tattoo and nod to himself at the words that were emblazoned there, seeing I had been telling the truth. So they had heard me just like I thought. At least I wouldn't have to repeat myself again. "Ohh! You are so dead! What the hell were you thinking?!"

"It was a million dollars," Lydon argued, but Skye was just shaking her head as was I. Prick. I may have hated him for working with Skye to hurt us, but I hated him even more for hurting Skye. Then I thought of Mr. Chan and realized this jackass was the reason he was in this whole mess. Now I was glaring down at him as well, tempted to punch him in his pretty boy face. "A million dollars. It would change my life… our lives."

I couldn't hold it in. I slapped him upside the head and I didn't hold back. "What was that for?!" he became defensive, grabbing his head. I just met his gaze, apparently so intimidating Lydon eventually looked away from me. I won't lie, being able to do that felt pretty good.

"She did that because you're an idiot," Ward shrugged, arms crossed. "Now who gave you these? Who did you talk to?"

"It was a woman… and she was harmless. I looked into it."

"Then why would she pay that much for information!" I couldn't help but shout. This guy… just this guy. I was expecting Ward to cut me off and officially remove me from the conversation, but he just seemed to be waiting for me to continue. "The good guys certainly don't! Did you even think or was waving the check in front of you enough that you just threw your moral compass over your shoulder and got a man kidnapped?!"

"Of course I did," he assured me with a trembling voice, actually afraid of me. Skye had a smug look on her face as he cowered. "I never would have done it if I thought-"

"Then who was she?" Ward questioned. "If you looked into it like you said."

"A fan of the Rising Tide, some rich girl in a flower dress. She knew all about me, said I had a gift. She thought people like us deserved more." Oh my God. She had flattered the jerk a little and that was enough to seal the deal. I was kind of disgusted right now.

"Hit him again," Skye said through gritted teeth, agreeing with me. I instantly smacked him upside the head again before he could flinch.

"Stop that!" he shouted in pain, hand going to his head and staying there. "Aren't you going to do something about this, man?" he asked Ward, nodding towards me. "I mean, she isn't with you guys. She's locked up in here just like us."

"What did she want you to do?" Ward got back on track, completely ignoring his plea.

"She pointed me to a Chinese S.H.I.E.L.D. feed… wanted me to crack it." He was rubbing his head and glanced my way. "And before you hit me again I did check the data stream. It didn't seem like anything you and I hadn't already put out there, Skye." He looked around, but saw that we weren't even close to being won over. "And-and I traced the account where the money came from just to make sure it wasn't some evil corporation. It was just an eco-research lab. Otherwise, I would never-"

"Ecological research?" Ward cut in, leaning across the table. Skye and I had picked up on the same thing judging by the look she gave me.

"Yeah, insects. Some study with centipedes." Holy shit. It was them- whoever they were. The ones who had turned Mike Peterson into a door-throwing explosive and killed someone with their superhero cocktail. They had Chan and that definitely meant good things were not in store for him if their track record was any indication. We needed to find him and we needed to find him now. "What's more harmless than-"

His nose cracked as my fist connected with his face. I shook it out as he grabbed it, swearing up a storm as blood started leaking from it. Skye gave me a look of pure thanks while Ward gave me what could only be described as an impressed nod at my improvement. He then grabbed Lydon by the collar. "We're going to go fix the kidnapping you created through your stand-up actions. In the meantime, how about we be a stand-up guy and let the lady have a seat." He gave Lydon a yank and sent him to the ground next to the table- twisting his arms at an uncomfortable angle as he was still attached to it that made him wince in pain, gesturing for me to have a seat. I quickly took it after flashing him a smile and a dramatic curtsy. He gave Lydon a last look before barreling out to get back to the team, shaking his head.

I knew my mind should be hard at work about what this mean but I just couldn't wipe that smile off my face. Ward didn't seem to be treating me that differently. I mean it's not like he had sprung me but he had definitely let me be involved. And Skye, Skye was still looking at me like her friend who had done her a solid by socking her ex-boyfriend or whatever he was. Maybe there was hope for my future. Maybe I'd at least have people to contact and talk to every now and then on my adventures outside the Bus.

But I needed to focus on the mission. Ward seemed to think I was still in this, so I needed to be. Whatever Centipede group wanted from Chan, which I'm sure Fitz-Simmons had already figured out, was specific and probably had to deal with his powers. They needed him for something and I knew I wasn't going to figure that out. My thinking needed to be on Chan like before. The poor guy just couldn't catch a break it seemed. First Kwan won't let him use his power and now he was with people who only wanted his power. No one cared about what he wanted and how he could show the world something that him was truly magical. No one was on his side… and that meant he wasn't going to let himself think anyone was now.

I turned to face the camera. "Coulson, I don't know if you're listening but I imagine you're getting ready to go in there." The other two were just looking at me. "Chan is not going to be happy when you find him because he doesn't want to go back to the life he had with Kwan. And you can bet that he's going to lash out at his captives, but I think he's going to extend that same anger towards you because he doesn't want his old life either. He is going to be mad at everyone in the room and want to show them what he can do… with fire powers that have probably been tinkered with. Kwan cannot go in there if he wants to get out. He was just doing his job, but Chan is not going to want to see him. You can guarantee that. And you all need to be ready for the suffering he's going to want to inflict on you." I sighed. "He's not a bad guy. He's just going to feel like nobody cares about him… and I think at this point it may be too late to convince him differently."

Of course there was no answer, but I felt relieved that I had at least warned my team. That I had maybe convinced them to keep Kwan from going in and saved his life. I turned back and leaned against the seat, taking a deep breath. I looked to see Skye appeared deep in thought, staring at the ground with a frown. "Hey," I called after giving her a few minutes before feeling it was necessary to intervene, getting her attention. "If I wasn't in handcuffs I would hug you right now." I smiled and she returned the gesture with a chuckle. "I have a question though… how do you have sex with a broken arm? Because that just seems uncomfortable." And just like that the two of us dissolved into a much needed fit of laughter and giggling.

Then Lydon had the idiocy to shatter the moment from his spot on the ground. "I'm sorry. I honestly didn't know." His voice was a little nasally as he was holding his nose to keep it from bleeding anymore.

Skye's face fell and she looked down at him. "All our talks… did you mean none of it? I risked everything to help you, and it turns out every word out of your mouth since me met has been total crap!"

"That's not true."

I rolled my eyes. "It's so true," I made clear. I could tell Lydon was getting frustrated with everyone teaming up on him, but I honestly didn't care with what I knew was about to happen when my team made it to that building.

"Democratization of knowledge, 'the truth will set you free'- the truth sure as hell came out," Skye was furious now, hands clenched under the table. But she almost looked on the verge of crying too.

"I believe in all those things," Lydon shot back, twisting himself so he could face her better. "I just don't know why they have to go hand in hand with barely scraping by. Come on, Skye. You lived in your van for the last two years."

"Now you're making fun of my van?"

I delivered a swift kick to his side. "Stop making fun of her van."

"Stay out of this," he snapped at me. I just glared back at him. "Skye, I could have funded us for years… us. So you wouldn't have to sacrifice your principles by joining this corrupt institution to find what you're looking for. And what's wrong with me trying to do that?"

I went to kick him again, but Skye spoke first. "I'll tell you what's wrong with that… an innocent guy might die… for money."

"You know I'd never intentionally hurt anyone. I'm just trying to get my life together. At least you know what you're looking for." I paused, trying to figure out what he was speaking of. It must have been something personal judging by how hurt Skye was looking right now at his just bringing it up- like it was somehow an even further betrayal of trust. "Me… I don't have that. For a long time, I thought it was you. I guess I was wrong."

"I guess so," Skye made final, looking away from him and back towards me. "Because I just learned one of my best friends doesn't have a memory in her head to guide her towards what she's looking for. And she's a better person than you can ever hope to be with the decisions she's made in a month. So yeah, I left you to join the corrupt individuals and it wasn't the other way around." Her confidence and faith was somehow just what I needed in a way only Skye could deliver. I was worried my friends wouldn't like who I really was as a person, but I had been myself the entire time. And they saw that. Maybe I didn't know who I was, but they seemed to. And maybe I would get the chance to figure it out for myself with them.

We sat in a long silence, each of us probably lost in a different train of thought. But it all came to a halt when Ward came bursting into the room again. "Coulson's in trouble. It's worse than he was anticipating." He went right over to Skye and unlocked her handcuffs, allowing to scramble to her feet and make for the door. He also unlocked Lydon, but made sure the cuffs were back on as soon as the bloody mess of a guy was on his feet. He started to shove him out of the room before turning back to where I sat, just watching the situation and expecting nothing for me.

"Aren't you coming, Crawford?" You were always full of surprises, Agent Ward. I practically bounced to my feet and made to follow. "I can't do anything about the handcuffs though," he told me as we made our way to the Briefing Room.

"That's alright," I assured him. "What's going on?"

"You were right. Chan would rather take everyone in that building down than walk away quietly with us. But I think it helped that we were expecting that." He seemed to sense my next question before I asked it. "Kwan didn't go despite the fight he put up to Coulson about it- just him and May went in. You probably saved his life." He gave me a pat on the back. "You did good… for not being an Agent."

We reached the briefing room before I could answer him, Ward parking Lydon in a corner as Skye went to the table and started her mostly one-handed typing. Fits-Simmons was purposefully keeping their attention on her and the mission it seemed, neither of them noticing I had entered behind Ward. I parked myself in a corner as well, just observing and not wanting to call much attention to myself. This was about Chan, not me. "The entire facility's been locked down," Skye said with frustration.

"Are you sure about this?" Fitz asked Ward as Lydon came beside Skye, taking the place in.

"No," Ward answered truthfully.

"This is pretty cool," Lydon whispered to Skye, but she just shrugged him off with something akin to disgust.

"The alarms disconnected the system from all exterior servers," Skye told her old SO.

"Can you fix it or not?"

"Yes, but you'd have to get me on-site."

Ward and Lydon both shot her down at the same time, exchanging a look filled with testosterone. I was honestly surprised Fitz hadn't joined in as well. "You're a hacker, Skye," Lydon followed up. "Not Seal team six."

"No. But he is," she nodded towards Ward.

"You need to take her Ward," I spoke up as he debated, finally getting Fitz-Simmons to realize I was there. "We need to make sure they can get out otherwise Chan IS going to kill them. She's the only who can do it and you know that." With that, he grabbed Skye by the arm and started to lead her towards the lab and cargo ramp, leaving the four of us in the Briefing Room- two scientists and two in handcuffs. Miles opened his mouth but I beat him to it. "Say another word and I knock you out." He seemed to believe me because he instantly clammed up.

I couldn't help but look over at Fitz-Simmons. Fitz had returned to looking at the tabletop intently while not moving a muscle while Simmons was just staring at me with an unreadable expression on her face. I knew it had to be the hardest for them as they were probably the ones I was closest to on the Bus, but I hadn't expected this. My thought had honestly involved more lying than science. So I kept my distance and didn't say a word. Last thing I wanted was for them to throw me back in the Interrogation Room while all this was going on.

But then the something happened on the table and I knew we were back in business. "Simmons… are the building's computers back online?" Coulson's voice asked through the room's speakers.

"Yes," she answered with a relieved smile, somewhat at the situation and somewhat at the finally broken silence.

"Uncuff Miles. We're gonna need his help." We all looked warily at the hacker, who raised his handcuffs with a smirk on his face. Simmons decided not to argue like she honestly should have and quickly freed Miles from the cuffs. I honestly envied him so much right now. "Chan's going to overdose which will probably cause an explosion and we need to make sure no one in the rest of the building is hurt… including us if that wouldn't be too much trouble."

Miles smirked and stepped up to the table with a quick wink at me. "If Blondie was in there it might be an issue, but in this case we'll see what I can do." He started typing rapidly as the building projected itself above the table, routing and shutting things off with a few strokes of his keys. It would be impressive if he wasn't such a jackass.

"You need to drive the blast into the main ventilation shaft," Simmons reminded him.

"Yeah, and up on the roof," Fitz continued. Miles continued typing away as I paced nervously in my corner of the room. Finally he stepped back with a large smile.

"I did it! I saved them! Whoo!" He threw a fist in the air triumphantly.

"Great," Simmons said with a winning smile which was followed by the sound of the cuffs being placed back on him. The woman could be sneaky when she wanted to be. And I wanted to hear the conversation that would follow as we waited for the others to get back, followed by the sounds and celebration of a triumphant mission tinted with a somber edge by the loss of Chan. It hadn't even really hit me that he was gone yet. Lydon had all but killed him with hat he had done. But I knew I wouldn't be wanted here for the moment. They had made their decision about me and I needed to honor it for the time being or else make things worse for myself. So I returned to the Interrogation Room without a word or notice, curling up into a ball in the corner as I just waited to learn what would become of me now that the mission was over.

I'd like to say that I wasn't selfish and that most of my tears were over the fact that we hadn't been able to save Chan. But I had promised I wouldn't lie anymore.

XXX

May came to collect me some hours after I locked myself back up, leading me to Coulson's office without a word. "Have you told Fury yet?" She didn't answer, merely depositing me at the door before leaving. I took a deep breath and stepped inside, finding Coulson standing in front of his desk. "I'm sorry we couldn't save Chan, sir."

"No, but Agent Kwan is currently with his family and planning to talk to S.H.I.E.L.D. about how Index Surveillance might be changed for the better. We also managed to save a Centipede scientist before Chan could harm her. We were able to strike earlier since we had the impression he would be volatile when we encountered him. She isn't talking, but we're hopeful we might be able to get some Intel." He looked at me, eyes locking on mine as I just waited with shallow breath for the verdict. "You were right about everything and two people are alive because of it."

"I-I didn't-"

"But we couldn't save Chan. There was nothing May or I could have said that would have changed his mind. And I can't stop myself from thinking… that if you were there it might have been different." I hadn't been expecting that, and I'm sure he could tell by my expression. "Because you said he felt no one was on his side and maybe that was true. But if you were in that room you would have been. And I think you might have found just the right thing to say. Maybe you didn't, but then I'd know for sure the situation was lost rather than having this doubt."

He took a few steps forward so he was right in front of me. "And these thoughts aren't because of your file. They're because of what you said to us today and how you've conducted yourself since boarding this Bus. We lost a man I think we could have saved today, and I'm not going to let that be the case again."

I felt his hands over mine and a moment later the cuffs fell away. My hands went to my chest, unconsciously rubbing my wrists. I had a feeling, but I didn't dare get my hopes too high. "Sir, does this mean-?"

"Miles Lydon left this Bus with everyone seeing what he really was. Skye will remain on this Bus as we continue to see and hope for what she will become. You are staying on a Bus as a full member of this team because of who you are, Ashleigh Crawford." And I couldn't stop myself from launching forward and hugging him tight, all my anxiety falling away as he patted me on the back. Having Coulson's trust still had been more than I could ever hope for. It meant the world to me really.

"I'm sorry I lied to you at all, Coulson. I'm so sorry it took me this long."

"You were following orders given to you by the highest authority and I imagine he didn't give you a lot of choices. But you still made one for the good of this team rather than yourself. There is nothing more I could want from you." I pulled away from him, heart and gut finally light as a feather as he smiled down at me. His hand went to my wrist, wrapping around the tattoo. "Your devotion to this team is clear from before there was a team." I gave a small huff, unsure what to say to that. So he kept going, taking a step back from me.

"I don't know what that means," he told me honestly. "But I'm going to help you figure it out. May think she can get some information from those close to Fury, and for now we're not going to tell him about your burst of honesty." That was one thing to call it. "We'll find out who you used to be together now. I know it's not an answer or promise but-"

"That's more than enough," I assured him. I looked towards the door. "I think I need to go talk to the team if that's okay. I think there are some things that need to be said."

"Sounds good," he agreed. "We'll have to have that tour when everything settles down." I nodded in agreement, giving my first real happy smile since this whole thing had occurred.

"Thank you, Coulson. Thank you for all of this. I won't let you down." He matched my smile with one of his own and I disappeared through the door, letting out the biggest sigh of relief with a hand on my heart. I got to keep my home. I got to keep my friends. I don't think anything could have worked out any better.

I ran back to my bunk, doing something I had never expected myself to be doing. I stood in front of the dresser- face smiling at myself in the mirror, removed the red sweater from my shoulders, and placed it back in the drawer before throwing on a button-up short sleeve shirt. There it was in plain sight for the world to see now; no longer able to hide under my sleeve no matter how hard I tried.

And I was perfectly okay with that.

Though it would suck if I went through all this trouble and our next mission was in Antarctica or something like that.

XXX

I needed to make sure everyone else was alright. I needed to clear the air of my revelation with everyone and make sure they weren't concerned about Coulson keeping me aboard. And I needed to do it sooner rather than later, despite it being quite late and being exhausted emotionally and physically. No one was asleep in the bunks around me, meaning it was actually probably the best time to just rip off the Band-Aid and do it. I would accept any feeling they had I promised myself. They were justified after the deception I had kept up. I braced myself for some prickly individuals

My first stop was May in the cockpit, taking my usual seat next to her. We didn't say a word for a few minutes, simply sat in one another's presence. I could tell she wasn't budging on her feeling and I wasn't budging on mine. But maybe that would be okay. So I swallowed my pride and spoke first. "Will we still have training tomorrow evening?"

There was a beat before she answered. "Nine o'clock. Every minute you're late you run a lap."

I nodded, springing to my feet. "Of course, May. I look forward it." And with that I left, knowing I needed nothing else from her. She clearly wasn't happy with me, but she also wasn't completely freezing me out either. There was hope we could continue to build things between us like we had been these past few weeks. Maybe one day she'd understand why I did it even. For now, I was completely content with where our relationship lay and dreading my face eating mat again after having a few day break.

I found Skye in the kitchen, metal band around her unbroken wrist. The moment she saw me we had that hug we both had needed for a long time. I noticed the metal band on her wrist and she told me it was the condition to her staying and having a chance. I held onto to her tight and she did the same thing right back before revealing she had prepared brownies. "I'm planning on making rounds and apologizing to everyone."

"I'm doing the same," I said between bites of one. They were amazing as could be expected.

"Why? You have nothing to apologize for like I do. I was actively working against everyone."

"I lied about being an Agent and put everyone in danger because of it," I countered.

"I don't see it like that," she shrugged. "You have no memories and don't know who you are. Of course you're going to go along with whatever gives you a purpose. You're going to listen to the guy who says you need to tell stories to stay in the only place you have." She started scrubbing at the dishes as I thought about that, not sure how she could sympathize with me so easily. "I'm going to look into it, who you are, when I get my privileges back that is."

I could hear how disappointed in herself she sounded. "He'll come around like he did with me, Skye. You'll earn his trust back because you want this more than anything. We both know you do. So you'll do the right thing." I stole another brownie and looked it over. "It's why I did what I did. And we're pretty similar when you actually think about it."

"I hope so," she answered with a sigh, the bracelet clearly weighing on her. "I'm glad I still have you though. Ward's barely even talking to me."

I devoured the brownie, rising with a smile. "Oh, he'll come around." Especially with Miles out of the picture for good now. "I'm going to go visit him now. Maybe that'll deflect some of the scorn and disappointment." I started for the kitchen but paused. "We should watch a movie tonight the two of us. Non-Agent party."

"Sounds like a great idea. We have a lot of things we need to show you after all."

Ward didn't project scorn or disappointment when I found him at the bar with a glass in his hand. He had been taking this whole thing strangely well and that only seemed to continue when I apologized to him and told him that he had been right to be suspicious of me after all. I thought telling him he was right would be a surefire way to help my case.

"You were following orders," were the first words out of his mouth. "It's what all of us would have done in the same position. It doesn't change a single thing I think about you honestly, Crawford. You're still as useful and flaky to us as you were before."

I crossed my arms in a dramatic fashion, noticing the hint of a smile on his face. "And what exactly is that supposed to mean, Ward?"

He took a sip of his drink. "It means I'm not surprised at all it only took you a month to crack."

"You'd better watch yourself," I warned him playfully. "You've seen how good a punch I can throw now… and that was wearing handcuffs."

"Miles Lydon was also pathetic enough a pretend Agent could do that much damage." His voice was a little harder now and it was clear he was thinking about Skye.

"Are you going to keep being her S.O.?" I asked bluntly. He answered back just as honestly.

"I don't know." I put a comforting hand on his shoulder for a brief moment, knowing Ward wasn't one for being touchy-feely in the slightest and respecting that.

"I'm sorry she hurt you, Ward."

"Yeah. Well it's a good thing I don't have feelings."

I took "We both know that isn't true." And with that, I left him to reflect on his situation and what he was going to do about Skye. I was placing my bets that he would last barely three days without talking to her before taking her back under his wing. Because I had been right. What he had said about himself wasn't true at all.

Somehow I felt this ordeal had actually made myself and Ward better friends and colleagues- which was really weird. Maybe it was my honesty when compared with the betrayal he felt from Skye or maybe he just didn't have the energy to have as much bitterness towards me. I would certainly take it I suppose.

My last stop was naturally the lab. After how everything had been working out I can honestly say I wasn't dreading it in the slightest. I had saved them for last because if I had faith in anyone still being able to stand me it was Fitz-Simmons. Now I felt all but certain of it.

They were both on opposite sides of the room in their own world. I made my way over to Simmons at her microscope first, tapping her gently on the shoulder. She looked up and was instantly all smiles like I expected, wrapping her arms around me.

"Oh, Ashleigh, I can't tell you how unbelievably glad I am that you're staying. Can you hold this?" She handed me a test tube and went back to looking under the microscope.

"Now I can see why," I couldn't help but comment as she took it from me only to hand me something else. "You would miss your human test tube rack. I'm more responsive than the metal one."

"You also have a larger attitude."

"Touche." She took the tube from me and mixed the two together. "I'm sorry Jemma… about keeping this whole thing a secret from you."

"Don't worry about it. I was in quite a great deal of shock at first, but then it actually logically started to add up when I considered your behaviors. Plus it doesn't change the person I've been spending all this time with. You're still you- attitude and all."

"Thank Simmons," I choked up a little despite myself, completely relieved at her saying this. "That means more than you know. I don't have anything outside of this Bus- that picture of us in Peru is the only real one I have- and the thought of losing you as a friend was one of the scariest I had."

"I can imagine. It was no problem really." She looked up and went over to her computer to make some notes about whatever it was she had just done. "And I fully plan on helping Coulson in his finding out who you are and how you acquired that tattoo. My idea was to take some samples and run them against our Missing Person database. You could have been out by yourself for quite a long while before everything happened. In fact, maybe right now-"

"I'm going to talk to Lee before you start poking and prodding me if that's alright. I need to say my good-bye's," I smirked.

"That's very funny. Clearly you must have been some sort of stand-up comedian," she retorted while waving me off. "But go ahead. I'll get everything ready once I'm done with this."

"Sounds good. Skye should be around with some brownies soon, just to let you know." Simmons gave a nod, showing me that she wasn't going to hold anything against the girl at all. So at least Skye would have the two of us going forward. "I'm worried she might be angry that Coulson's just kind of letting me off the hook."

"It's Skye. She's nothing but delighted for you that everything worked out in your favor."

"You're right," I instantly agreed. "Thanks for keeping my head on straight, Jemma."

"It's a rough job but someone has to do it."

With that, I made my way across the lab to where Fitz was typing away at his computer. I knew what the outcome of this one was going to be without a doubt, but I felt I still needed to go through the motions. I sat on the desk next to him like I had that very first day as he worked in silence. He probably was just so in the zone he hadn't heard me come over like usual.

"Hey, Lee," I greeted warmly with a small wave. Nothing. He must be working on something intense. "Lee. I just wanted to talk you about everything involving… me I guess."

There was a long pause and I went to speak again. "I'm kind of busy at the moment," came his reply without looking up and the ice in his voice instantly came across. I had never heard him talk to me like that before.

"Okay," I tried to keep calm despite my heartbeat getting a bit erratic. "I'll come back after Simmons-"

"I'll be busy for quite a while, actually." Well, it was clear the first sentence hadn't been my imagination.

"Are-are you mad at me?" I asked, completely thrown off. I had figured he might need a bit of time to come around, but I had always figured Fitz was a foregone conclusion. He was my closest friend here and had even stuck with me through the Ward thing. So I hadn't been expecting this kind of reaction at all.

"I'm just not in the mood to talk is all." All his sentences were short and clipped, devoid of any emotion or cadences I was used to from him. It was almost downright eerie.

"Lee, I'm sorry about what happened. I know I wasn't an Agent and that meant you trusted me in ways you wouldn't have otherwise-"

He let out a noise of disgust and I immediately was quieted, completely unsure what to do. "I'm-I'm sorry. What can I do to make it right with you?"

"You can start by leaving me alone. I'm working on something very important here and you're disturbing me." He hadn't even looked at me yet. I almost felt like bursting into tears. "So please take yourself and remove it from my vicinity."

This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. "Lee-"

He finally looked up and his eyes were hard and cold as he just stared at me. "I said to go, Ashleigh. Take your tattoo and your stories and just go. I don't want to be around you right now, alright?" It gutted me-literally felt like someone was cutting me open. That weight that had been removed was back, but somehow it had been made even heavier. I had promised to respect whatever feelings they had though and I would not go back on that. He was legitimate in his anger because I had disappointed him, and if he felt about me like I did about him than it had been a very large betrayal indeed.

I wiped the tears from my eyes before they could fall, despairing at the fact that he didn't even seem to care I was upset. "Alright." I stood up and backed off, watching as he immediately returned to his work like I had never been there in the first place. And it was just too much-almost wanted me to take the whole confession back. I almost wanted to rewind time and just continue lying if it would spare me what had just happened. I didn't return to Simmons, instead leaving the lab altogether for my bunk, sobbing into my pillow. It hurt so much. It was worse than if Coulson had thrown me off the Bus because this was Fitz. And there was nothing I could do about it.

This was my Fitz and right now he absolutely hated me.