A Little Perspective Please

It's weird the moment you realize you might be dying in a very short amount of time. Your body tries to anchor you in the moment by reminding you how painful every breath is becoming as things build to a point of no return. But your mind, your mind just keeps trying to get you out of there by taking you back to all the moments you've had. It tries to wrap you in the good times so you didn't have to face what was coming- making Tony closing his eyes so I was the last thing he saw that much more powerful to me. But my mind didn't have that much to wander through and gotten stuck in a trap of sorts. But thankfully I wasn't given a lot of time to reflect and let my mind wander because I needed to shut that part of my mind off and stay in the moment.

Because the instant Fitz started to go the long way around Simmons was already making her way to one of the computers and sorting through data she had collected. I took a deep breath and followed her, trying not to get in her space too much but make it clear that I was there. "According to my estimates, our contact with the first victim was thirty six hours ago. That is when both I and Ashleigh contracted the virus." I could tell the next part was rough for her by the way she hesitated, just as Fitz came stumbling down the metal stairs to arrive frantically next to Coulson. "Which means if we go by the timeline of the firemen from infection to their deaths… we have two hours at the most." It hit me like a bullet, but I swallowed my shock as quickly as I could. I needed to be able to roll with this, because judging by how white Fitz went I don't think the others could.

"Two hours is plenty of time," I managed, not convincing in the least. She just gave me a look over her shoulder that she wasn't buying what I was selling. I needed to sound more confident. "Jemma, two hours is enough time. What do you need?"

"If we don't we'll release a blast that will be strong enough to blow the Bus-"

I grasped either of her shoulders, refusing to let her give in to her despair, especially as a few tools were now floating about the room. "Jemma, stay with me, okay? Stay on track. What do you need to do this?"

She blinked a few times but seemed to put herself on the same page as me, nodding before turning to Fitz. The poor guy looked traumatized as she made her way over. "I need a method of delivery when I finish the antiserum- one that can both suspend the contents while conducting the electricity that will be present. Otherwise I won't be able to do very much in here."

Fitz just nodded and ran over to the table her had set up on the ramp, grabbing all sorts of tools while his mind was obviously going so much faster than he physically was. As he set to work assembling something I was sure I wouldn't be able to comprehend the others came in a wave down the stairs. Skye made to run right up to the glass, but May managed to stop her with a hand on her elbow. So she merely looked back and forth between the two us, frantic with worry. Even Ward looked-

I grabbed my head as a buzzing sounded, ignoring the clatter of something falling in the lab. I just had to be stuck in the room with all the metal didn't I. I grabbed the counter to steady myself, squeezing my eyes shut as I willed the noise to stop. All I saw was that brain Simmons had shown us- the burnt baked potato. I didn't want my brain to be a burnt baked potato and I promised I wouldn't let anyone else become one as well. I needed to focus, but that noise was just making it so hard.

"Ashleigh!" a voice cut through, bringing me back to the present. It was Skye, hand against the glass and staring at me with tears in her eyes. I shook my head, trying to pull away the cobwebs that were forming over my thoughts. Simmons was now on the floor, back against the glass door and facing into the lab. She must have shrunk under the scrutiny of everyone arriving, almost trembling as she just sat there- coat and glasses even removed in favor of just her sweater. Fitz was on the other side, working away on what she needed from him silently, though I could tell he was nervously shaking as well. I looked back to Skye and nodded to her that I was back; giving her what must have been the most pathetic of smiles before making my way to crouch before Simmons. Skye seemed to reluctantly accept this and joined the circle the others had formed in the cargo hold to discuss things.

Simmons didn't look at me, just stared into the empty lab lost in thought. I went to say something to comfort her, but she surprisingly spoke before I could. "I had protective equipment when I touched him. You didn't. I may have two hours but I'm worried you might have less, Ashleigh." I knew I couldn't let her do this. She had enough pressure saving herself. She didn't need to add me to that and suffocate herself. I couldn't let her feel like my blood was on her hands if things went south.

"Don't worry about me," I put a hand on her knee. She shook her head but I was insistent. "I'm serious, Jemma. I am not your responsibility. It was my choice to come up to the body with you. I got myself into this, not you."

"But if I hadn't-"

"I don't care about what's happened," I cut her off, noticing Fitz filing away at his machine he seemed to be building. He was obviously trying to look like he was lost in thought, but was hanging on every word. "I care about what happens from here on out. We need to save you Jemma, and I know I'm basically useless in the lab but I will help you in every way I can. I will hold all the test tubes and keep you from giving up." She actually gave a hint of a smile at this. "You're too important for anyone on this Bus to lose so it's you I'm worried about. Not me. Never me."

"But you're important too," she insisted. I looked over to the circle where Skye seemed to be arguing with the others and sighed. "You are, Ashleigh."

"I'm just the amnesiac who hitched a ride. No one's going to miss me too much." She went to argue with me, but I patted her knee. "Save that fight for this virus. I'll worry about me, but I won't let you have that on your shoulders. I can take care of me. Maybe we'll be lucky and I'll hold on long enough to be right beside you when you find it. I know that's what I'm planning on. I'm not going down without a fight that's for certain." With that, I managed to rise to my feet shakily before pulling her up to hers. Fitz was staring at the two of us and took a moment to show us both his progress. Simmons gave a weak smile but I managed something larger.

"Thanks, Fitz," I buried all my anger in favor of encouragement. I didn't have any time to waste on negative emotions. "You're doing great." Jemma went back over to a microscope to look over things, obviously trying to distract herself while we waited. I managed a wave to Skye as she and the others almost reluctantly filed out up the stairs with Coulson at the rear, all eyes on us with worry and irritation that there was nothing they could do. They would probably go right up to the Briefing Room and perch at the table watching the security feeds. So I needed to keep my desire to pace to a minimum in case that would only serve to freak them out even more than they already were.

I had been so focused on Jemma that I hadn't noticed the Fitz seemed to be bouncing up and down with frantic, nervous agony that I had never seen from him before. I went back over to the glass door and tapped on it, earning his attention. We both stared at each other a moment, almost unable to say anything after what had just happened. But his looking at me gave me the feeling he was burying things for the moment too and we both just needed to table everything but this virus and Simmons away for later. "We'll take care of her together, okay?" I hoped it conveyed the two things I needed it too: that he wasn't alone in this but also that he was completely necessary to be successful. Simmons didn't just need him, but I needed him as well to keep me sane through all this despite being afraid to say so. He merely nodded before turning to his work, almost afraid to look at me. I could only imagine what he was thinking and worrying about when he looked at me- I must have looked like a train wreck and he hated to picture his best friend the same way.

I made my way back over to Jemma, performing inane services for her such as holding test tubes and handing her the tools she asked for and I recognized. The buzzing was starting to build in my brain but I kept shoving it back, focusing my attention on my main objective- keep Simmons talking. I used the fact I knew next to nothing about pop culture, asking her about her favorite music and movies and television shows. This led to a whole explanation on the premise of Doctor Who and his TARDIS, a recalling of watching Wizard of Oz with her parents and being surprised that such a place wasn't real after hoping a twister would hit her house, and a diatribe into classical music. It may have been stereotypical but she just loved how it made her brain function on all cylinders. I think she realized I was distracting her at first, but she gave herself over to it and seemed to calm down a bit once she really got going. I just smiled and nodded, paying as much attention as I could. It was hard when I had to hide the fact my fingers were sparking a bit at my side from not only my companions but the cameras. Skye was probably freaking out right now.

She decided to run a test without Fitz's device, mainly because she was getting antsy. She infected one of the three mice we had obtained at our last stop for her research and she injected him with the solution she had created. There was a minute of held breath before a flicker of blue exploded from the mouse, leaving his body floating in the air. I seriously wanted to throw up and had to grab the counter just to keep from falling over. This was literally the worst. Simmons just sighed and went back to the lab table, fiddling and adjusting things while we now waited for Fitz to deliver on his end. He was working more frantically now, literally jittering in his seat. I wanted to go over and talk to him, but Simmons needed me a little more right now with the look of absolute despair on her face. So I got her talking again, this time about some of her favorite cases she had ever encountered. It wasn't the same level of distraction though- she was now clearly aware of the consequences and time we were losing.

I don't know how long we worked before Fitz signaled to us, going over to a little compartment in the glass that could transfer things from inside to outside the lab and vice versa. I had a few times wondered what the point of it was, but now it seemed to be all too clear as he placed something within it and it closed with a click. It was for situations like these. "I believe we have a winner," he told his partner-in-crime with a forced smile. He was trying to keep her spirits high. "Fast and efficient… the perfect delivery mechanism." Simmons wordlessly grabbed the device before coming back over to me at the table, not even glancing at Fitz. She started to load what she had made into the device, only for both of us to turn at knocking on the glass.

"Uh, hey, um, not that it was easy to find a mineralized solution that could suspend the vaccine and conduct electricity." I could tell he was looking for some sort of conformation that he had done his job and now there was nothing to worry about. He needed some kind of approval.

Simmons was obviously too distracted to see what I did though. "I wish you wouldn't use the word 'vaccine'," she chided him as we made our way over to a cage with the white mice. "It's really more of an antiserum." She turned to me, taking a deep breath. I did my best to smile and not look like my head was being smashed with a mallet. "Okay, so… these antibodies should be able to target the virus' antigens, if this bloody virus even has antigens." She picked the little guy up and placed the device next to him, causing a spark that made him squeak. She then set him back in the cage and we all waited, the two of us leaned over him. "Come on, now. Come on." I could literally feel everyone's hearts sink when the blue spark happened. I had to cover my mouth with my hand to keep from letting out a cry at the sight of two mice now floating in their cages. It was hard not to feel the situation was hopeless now.

"Well… that wasn't very cooperative of him, now, was it?" came a voice from the other side of the glass. And I knew it shouldn't have given everything, but I couldn't stop myself from laughing at that. I laughed so hard I cried as Jemma merely sighed and returned to her work, clearly not a delusional as I to laugh at one of Fitz's jokes. I finally got control of myself and wiped away the tears, so thankful the cry I needed had come from happiness. I looked to Fitz to thank him, but his eyes were only on Jemma as she flinched from a metal tool falling in front of her.

I tried to shake my head clear and made my way to grab the pipette she had been meaning to grab when this had happened. It was getting harder to walk, but I fought on to be that support she so desperately needed. I could not give in any sooner than she would. She gave me a nod of thanks, both of us flinching as sparks happened when we touched.

It was enough to send my headache into overdrive as I clutched my head with my hands and slid to the ground, teeth gritted as I just tried to breathe. It was getting hard to do even that. I just pictured the mice sparking over and over, letting out a cry of absolute agony that I instantly regretted. I wasn't supposed to make this about me. I needed to stay strong for Simmons. I needed to get her though this. So I somehow managed to push through it just enough to open my eyes and took a few wheezy deep breaths before pulling myself to my feet. Simmons had gone back to working on her antiserum, moving even faster in a desperate bid to save our lives. She didn't have time to drag me along behind her and I understood that. But Fitz, he was just staring at me in a way I didn't quite understand. I couldn't quite place what was going through his head, only that he was absolutely still. My eyes met his and in that moment he looked back down towards his watch, biting his lip at the time and bouncing uncomfortably. I forced myself to turn away from him and back towards my lab partner of sorts as she struggled with the pipette.

My momentary delirium of joy followed by pure agony has passed for the most part, I was now painfully aware of how close the two of us were cutting it. There was no way we were going to get our minds off of the topic at hand now. "It's all right," Fitz told us from behind the glass. The words were hollow though and they fell on very deaf ears. "Everything's going to be fine." I understood what he was trying to do- I had just been trying to do it. But now it just filled me with a touch of annoyance because it sounded so patronizing after that second mouse. He wasn't the one with an alien virus raging through him.

"Please stop saying that," I requested, seeing how much this seemed to wound him coming from me. I wiped some of the sweat from my forehead, now absolutely drenched. I had to put a lot more attention on breathing than I wanted and noticed a tray start to float in the air. I did my best to ultimately ignore it though, waving at it. "I know you're trying to help. But we don't need to hear that right now."

"Plus, I see you keep looking at your watch," Simmons added with clear frustration. "You don't need to do that. I understand we don't have a lot of time if we want to save her!"

"Hey," I tried to calm her, shaking my head at her. "We already talked about this. It isn't about me. It's about you. I'm just a footnote right now trying to help you."

Simmons laughed a dark laugh as she struggled. "You say that, but I'm not the one who almost died down there on the floor just now! How does that help me?!"

"I'm sorry," I managed, completely surprised with my hands going into the air. I hadn't expected her to lash out like that, but I did my best to try and keep the situation calm. "I'm sorry we're in this mess and that I'm no help to you. I'm just doing what I can."

"Helping me would have been letting me do my job and not getting yourself in this mess in the first place!" She let out a growl I had never heard from her as she pushed down on the box she was trying to get to mix. "Now I am the only thing that is going to keep my friend from dying, a pressure that is weighing on me quite heavily, thank you very much. You should have just stayed back!"

"I was right, wasn't I?" I couldn't help but remind her. "I was right about this whole situation and that body being off. I'm just trying to protect you, Simmons. It's… it's all I know how to do really." She didn't say anything to that, merely let out another cry at the device. I reached out to help her, but she swatted me away easily.

Fitz spoke up again, this time much more tentative. "Are you sure you don't need my help to just…"

"Are you sure this thing even works?" Simmons snapped, holding up the device he had made and giving it a good shake. She was lashing out at him now and not getting us anywhere productive. I needed to nip this in the bud and quickly.

"Simmons, you know it does," I told her gently. "You saw it work on the mouse."

"Yeah, Ashleigh's right," Fitz added. I glared at him to shut his mouth, forgetting he had stopped listening to me recently. "My device isn't the issue… it's the vaccine."

"Let's not start-"

"Antiserum!" Jemma shouted over me. "And all I'm wondering is whether you calibrated it correctly." She turned to face him now and I knew there was no hope. They were now in one of their conversations and I was stuck on the sidelines. I even leaned against the counter and crossed my arms, surrendering to the stream of words that were about to happen. I just hoped getting out whatever they did helped them be able to get this show on the road, because I was really trying to hide my headache now.

"Hey, it's not the device. Don't put this on me. I was doing just fine, tucked away in a safe, indoor, non-mobile lab at the academy!"

"Oh!" Jemma rolled her eyes, making her way over to meet him at the glass now. Things were getting tense and there was a wall between them. I just hoped one of them didn't hit it. I don't know how stable this glass was really.

"Then you had to go and drag us into this flying circus!" he shouted, hand flying about, even gesturing to me. I did my best to look mock offended for the moment, but it was obvious next to no attention was on me right now. "Didn't even pass our field assessment, for god's sake!"

"Oh, please, as if I forced you to follow me anywhere."

"You said, and I quote-"Oh boy. This meant Imitation Simmons Voice. She hated Imitation Simmons Voice. "'Oh, Fitz it's the most perfect opportunity for us to see the world. We'd be fools to pass this one up.'"

"I hate it when you use that voice. That's now even how I sound."

"I will agree with that point," I added, knowing my comment was going to be ignored but feeling the need to have something on the record anyway… for posterity.

"And you were just afraid with going out in the field." Now she was hitting below the belt and I was starting to get worried. I knew how sensitive Fitz was about this issue and knew I really might need to fight to step in now. Maybe fake another headache? That seemed to be the best weapon I had in these parts since day one really.

"I was not afraid."

"And don't you dare act like the last months haven't been the highlight of your entire pasty life!"

"Pasty? Oh really? Well, when did you become so sun-kissed?" He scoffed at her. "Because I'm pretty sure that every minute of every day you've been stuck in a lab right beside me. At the academy, at sci-ops, this plane… you've been beside me the whole damn time!" The last words hung in the air between the two, anger suddenly drained away to worry. He just didn't want to lose his best friend. I understood the feeling. It had absolutely sucked to lose him myself. The entire situation diffused itself and Simmons went back to her work, Fitz giving her this look that honestly made me kind of jealous. It was clear there how much he needed her- how close the two of them really were. I know I didn't have anything like that with anyone… wonder if I ever did.

"You have to fix this," he told her in a broken voice. "You have to fix this and it… it has to be soon." We may have been fighting in a way right now, but hearing him sound like that absolutely broke my heart. This was a man at the end of his rope making a desperate plea for the person he loved. I actually looked down to give them some faint illusion of privacy and played with my thumbs, uncomfortable to be intruding on this moment. Along for the ride despite myself as per usual.

"I don't know how, Fitz," Simmons admitted in a similar broken tone. Her voice even cracked over the words as she gave into her hopelessness. She sounded broken and exhausted much like I felt. The two of them both looked to be on the verge of tears when I glanced up, much like myself as well. "I don't know how to save us. The antibodies from the three firefighters aren't strong enough to fight this virus. It's born from alien DNA. There's no one… to create an antiserum because no one's actually survived this virus except…"

It hit us all at once. "The Chitauri," the three of us said in unison. I had no idea what it meant but the two of them were now looking as if this got us somewhere. I walked over to join them, startled at how much effort it took. The two of them were off once again, but this time in their usual, healthier manner.

"Well, the minky bastard who actually wore the helmet had the virus-"

"Yeah, and managed to survive without ever emitting an electrostatic pulse because-"

"It was immune."

"Yes! She… she was just the carrier, like Typhoid Mary."

"Uh, 'she'? Well, no, wait." He tried not to get hung up on that point as spirits inside and outside the glass lifted the smallest fraction. "That… you don't really think that… okay, doesn't matter. Um, so if… if I can scrape some epithelial cells from the inside of the helmet, we can create a vaccine?"

He didn't even wait for her to answer, taking off at a run up the stairs. "Yes! Antiserum, but yes." She then moved back towards the tables to grab the new supplies and liquids to make ready. While she was distracted, I went over to the controls for the lab and switched the one that locked the door. I knew Fitz pretty well by now, and I was pretty positive in what he planned on doing with that helmet. But I wasn't about to let that happen.

Sure enough, he came bolting down the stairs with the box a moment later so ready to rush straight into the lab he crashed into the door when it didn't happen. He quickly glanced around to figure out what the hell was going on when he saw me standing next to the controls and his face became hard. "Open the doors, Ashleigh."

"No," I answered simply, eyes narrowing. "Leopold Fitz, I know what you're going to do and I won't let it happen." Now Coulson and Skye had come running down the stairs, grinding to a halt at our face-off. Jemma herself must have noticed too by this time, but she wisely chose to stay out of it. "You're going to put the box through the slot and let us handle this, okay?"

"I'm going to do whatever I feel like doing, thank you very much. Now open the door." He started to fiddle with the buttons on his side, but I kept my finger on the one that mattered.

"I'm not going to let you get infected Fitz," I warned him I wasn't budging. "I'm not going to let you put yourself in danger when I'm here to do what needs to get done. You did your part and now I'll do mine." I honestly thought I had him. He looked close to giving in, but then a fire returned to his eyes that I had last seen in our fight.

"You're not pulling this on me, Ashleigh!" Ward had arrived by now and looked ready to step in, but Skye wisely held him back. "You're not protecting me and keeping me from helping because of some bloody words on your wrist!"

"If you think I'm doing it because of that then you clearly don't know a damn thing about me after all the time we've spent together!" I matched his anger and it was absolutely draining me. But I pushed even further, glaring daggers into him. "But maybe I don't know a thing about you either! You have done nothing this past week other than ignore me and make me feel like less than a person! And I did something shitty but I don't think even I deserved that from you! So maybe you are the petty coward you told me you were!" I instantly regretted that though, especially from how he reacted. I put my hand to my head. "Just trust me."

"Well, I'm sorry, but I don't," he hurt me as bad as I had just hurt him. "I don't trust you. Not anymore."

I gritted my teeth, knowing we had no time for this. I think my voice came out like pure stone. "Give me the goddamned helmet, Fitz." He didn't move. "I said give me the goddamned helmet so I can help the both of you!"

He just shook his head, still someone holding strong. "I need to get in there and help save my best friend!"

"And I'm not letting you in here because you're mine!" I shouted back, causing him to take an unintentional step back at this unexpected turn. "Because this is probably going to work but I'm scared to death if it doesn't! Because I care about you too much to even risk losing you! Because you are my Girl Talk, Pop Tart, Star Wars companion and it makes me miserable to think of things being without you. It is miserable being without you, okay?" I knew I should have hit the brakes a long time ago, but I just couldn't get my mouth to stop. Maybe it was the fact I was facing death, but I felt like I needed to let it all out. "I care about you and if you care about m… Simmons the way I feel and know you do then you'll put the helmet through the slot and stand down." The buzzing had been increasing steadily and my one hand that wasn't on the button went to my head. When I looked back at him, all his anger seemed to have gone up in smoke. All that was left was worry and sadness for her as he glanced back down at the box.

I just stared at him with what must have been the most pathetic, tired pleading face I could muster. "Come on, L-Fitz. You know you never win our arguments." I managed to smile at some of the good thoughts that flitted through my mind. "So you're certainly not going to win one when I'm dying." This seemed to be the final piece he needed as he slowly nodded, tears once again in his eyes. And I trusted him, releasing my finger from the button to move to the large compartment he placed the box in. "Just think of me as your Helper Monkey- highly trained and everything." My heart swelled when I managed to get just the hint of a smile out of him, removing the box on my end of the glass. "Thank you."

I deposited it onto the table and slowly placed it on an area Simmons had designated at the table. We did the best to block everyone else out as we worked- Fitz standing at the glass where I had left him with one hand upon it, Ward was pacing relentlessly, and Skye and Coulson just remained still. Jemma swabbed the helmet while I held two plates for her- she had insisted we do everything in double. She then looked up at Fitz as if thinking of something. "We need another delivery device. I suspect we'll need it quick as possible once we have the results." He nodded, almost happy to have something to do as he made his way to his makeshift desk and got to work, eyes never leaving us for more than a few seconds though.

I handed her everything she needed as she added liquids to the two plates, admitting she was gambling a bit with her unfamiliarity of the alien. "I'm sure you got it right. You're brilliant after all," I told her, making her smile. I worked completely in sync with her, being where she needed me when she needed me with just a word or a gesture. I didn't do anything too extreme, mainly held and handed things, but from me I would say it was an impressive level of science seeing as nothing had broken or exploded yet. It also seemed to be exactly what Jemma needed, someone right beside her on the same page. I was managing to be a pretty alright Substitute Fitz. When this was all over I needed to take a moment to be proud of that. She then put them in a device I had learned long ago was a centrifuge and the two of us just waited, desperately hoping we could beat the clock. I felt absolutely awful, hand gripping the counter to keep myself upright, and was running on pure fumes now while Simmons looked to be heading my route any moment now.

We knew we had something pretty special when they floated out of the centrifuge. This had to be it. We had managed to save our skins just in time. We both glanced at each for a moment with genuine smiles before each reaching up to grab one. They sparked against our hands and dropped, but I somehow managed to catch the two of them in one swipe. "Tell me you saw that. That was the coolest thing I've ever done in my life." Simmons nodded and laughed a bit at this, loading one of them into Fitz's device. It was good to hear that sound. It was good to be out of the woods.

She shocked the third rat and we placed it back in the cage, waiting and praying to whatever we believed in. The others had crowded around the glass, May even making her way down here for this moment. "I can't breathe," Skye said for everyone. I leaned against the door, unable to support myself on my own. Nothing happened. Thank God nothing happened. We were saved and just in the nick of time.

"We did it," Simmons sighed, ecstatic beyond belief. She looked ready to call me over and give me a dose of the antiserum when it happened. There was the spark of blue electricity and the third rat was floating in the air with his two companions… dead. Just like that everything came crashing down upon us- the hopes we had built crumbling before our very eyes. My knees buckled and I slid against the glass to the floor, unable to stop the tears now streaming down my face. This had been our last shot. Simmons and I… were going to die.

"No," Fitz spoke first in complete agony. "We could try again. The electrostatic pulse from the third rat seemed much less, so you're making progress. You and Ashleigh just need to-"

"I don't think I can get up, Fitz," I admitted to him, completely unable to move my arms or legs at this point. I just didn't have it in me anymore.

"Just try," he begged me. "You need to help her so she can-"

I gave it my best effort, but nothing moved more than a few inches. I let out a cry of exhaustion after the effort and leaned my head back against the glass and closing my eyes. "I can't. I'm sorry, Fitz. I'm so sorry." I think he could tell I didn't just mean about getting up. "I'm sorry." My brain was going to be a burnt baked potato. My mind was going to be a burnt baked potato.

Simmons had made her way up to the glass and spoke to whomever was across from her. "Sir, I know the protocol in these circumstances, but could you please tell my dad first? I just think my Mum would take it better if it comes from him."

"You don't have to worry about anything with me, sir," I managed. "There's no one to care about me… and that's okay. Fury will find something to do with me."

"That's not true," I heard Skye insist from outside the glass. She had to be crying from the way her voice sounded. "That's not true at all, Ashleigh."

"She's right," Simmons insisted, still facing Coulson. "One day you're going to unravel all this and when you find her people… you need to tell them how brave she was. And how selfless she was every day to this entire team. But most importantly, you need to tell them that she was a great friend."

"We're not there yet," I heard Coulson from the other side before I could respond, voice getting caught in my throat as more tears came flooding out. "There's still time for the both of you."

"Sir please," Jemma cut him off gently. "We both know what happens next." She turned now a bit, facing someone else. "Fitz, would you mind coming around to the other door. I want us to have a brief moment alone." The others seemed to take this as their cue, I heard sinking footsteps make their way up the ladder and only silence once they stopped. It was so hard to breathe and the crackling was building in my fingers and my head. I had a few minutes at the most.

Then all of a sudden my head wasn't against the glass anymore and I crashed to the ground in a heap. Someone… someone had opened the door to the lab. I forced my eyes open and saw that I was moving across the cargo hold somehow, though I was pretty positive I wasn't doing any of the moving. My arms and legs seemed as still as they had before at least. Then how was I… I was being dragged I think. I think I felt arms under my own. What was going on? I could barely put coherent thoughts together anymore against the building buzz of my brain.

"I'm sorry," I heard a familiar voice say. It sounded so far away though, like I was underwater and could barely hear it. "I'm sorry but I'm sure you'd agree it's the only thing to do. It's the only way we can save them now." I was back on the cold ground again, which felt really good honestly, turned sideways and facing the tires of Lola. I just focused all my energy on breathing, each becoming more labored than the last.

Then the ground beneath me shook like an earthquake. My first immediate thought was that it was happening with my second being that it had happened to Simmons. But then I felt myself start to roll as the ground became more sloped and the sound of roaring wind growing all around me. Footsteps walked past me with one last squeeze of my shoulder before they were gone in the direction of the wind. I couldn't even manage to open my eyes and see what was happening.

I put my last coherent thought together in that moment. Jemma had lowered the cargo ramp to save the team. I was going to roll out and be sent tumbling through the sky so I wouldn't hurt anyone when I went burnt baked potato. I was going to fall… and the very thought petrified me. I was scared of dying, but I was even more scared of dying like this. All I could do was brace myself for the end of the ramp, hands clenched together.

Someone was screaming. I couldn't hear over the wind what they were saying- only that they sounded like they were losing their mind. I was losing my mind too. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to die like this. I didn't want to leave them. I didn't want to leave them. I didn't want to leave them.

"I've got her," I think I heard. "Pull this… after I jump… grab Ashleigh."

Footsteps passed me again- these one much harder and faster as my rolling gained speed. But then it started to stop as the ground shook again. The slope started to decrease and the crackling in my head caused me to scream in agony. I needed to get out of here. I was still on the Bus. How was I still on the Bus? I should be right behind Jemma now.

Someone was running towards me and pulled me up so my head was off the ground. My hands were still grabbing it, electricity crackling through the whole cargo hold and I screamed. "This… not ready. I… figure… hold on Ashleigh. Hold…" They were fiddling with something, but I couldn't tell what. I was going. It was happening.

And then a shock like a bolt of lightning ripped through my chest that nearly bowled me over and everything went black.

XXX

"Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on." The first thing I registered was those words being repeated over and over in a more frantic manner each time by a voice that was very familiar. It was right on the tip of my tongue really. But I was quickly distracted from this by the second thing- the fact that my lungs scaled a full rebellion against my body and sent me into a coughing, wheezing fit that must have sounded absolutely disgusting. It was like my entire body was seizing with each cough, but whoever was with me seemed to be relieved more than revolted as I was. "Oh, thank goodness. Thank bloody goodness," they let out with a sigh. I then felt myself being shifted so I was sitting more upright, supported on my shoulder and back. I kept coughing despite myself as something rubbed circles on my back. "There you go. Let it out. Just let it all out. It's alright if you get some of your amnesiac germs on me. Whatever you need to do to keep breathing, Ash."

When the coughing finally dissipated into long, shallow breaths a large part of me wanted to drift back off and gain back the energy I was so clearly lacking. But the smaller part, the part that recognized that voice and the fact that I was somehow alive right now, forced me to open my eyes. It took a moment for the world to focus instead of being made up of wavy lines, but soon I realized I was staring at the ceiling of the cargo hold. I managed to roll my head to the side and bumped into a solid shoulder, resting it against the fabric of the shirt on it. Now I recognized that voice because I was staring right at him- it was Fitz. Fitz was right here with me, holding me steady and smile on his face so big it nearly stretched from ear to ear. He looked like he had to have been crying, but thankfully there was no sign of any new ones. The sight of him was almost so powerful it made a smile creep across my face as well.

I registered something in his hand that was holding my back, and put together it must have been the device he had been constructing before. And then it seemed to crash into me that I was still here. I was still here and the buzzing was gone. My head was as silent as could be, though a bit slow at the moment it seemed. Nothing was floating and though I felt like I had been hit by a truck it was an improvement over before for sure. Mostly it was in my chest rather than my head actually. It had to be true, but I almost didn't dare believe it. "No... No burnt baked potato?" I managed to croak out. I never realized how exhausting it was to form words. I think I might just stick to trying to breathe.

He shook his head. "No. No burnt baked potato. Just a normal baked potato with some sour cream if that's how you like it." He laughed to himself, but it seemed to be half-hearted. "The rat was just knocked unconscious by the blast. The antiserum worked after all. You two did it, Ash. You managed to create something new in the field of science. You of all people."

"It's not like I did... anything important," I scoffed, words coming slightly more easily now as my lungs chilled themselves out. "Most of it was... Simmons!" I remembered now- the ramp lowering and what she had clearly been intending to do. I tried to sit up. "Jemma jumped off the ramp. We need to-"

He held me firmly in place, keeping me from getting very far at all. Not that I thought I would have been actually able to get up. "I know. She locked the lab door on me so I couldn't get to her when I came through the back and noticed the mouse was still alive. She-she jumped as soon as she saw me though and you were just rolling down the ramp behind her. I couldn't get the parachute on in time so Ward jumped after her with the other device and dose of antiserum. I closed the ramp so I could get to you before you fell." His words sounded almost haunted, like he was reliving the moments as he said them. The poor guy must be traumatized. It sent a shiver up my spine just to think about it myself. I think my fear of heights my make a return experience after something like that. He almost seemed bitter though; upset he hadn't been able to do the grand gesture. Instead he had just been stuck with me. "I don't know for sure but Ward's very good at his job so I think she's okay. She is going to get a rather stern lecture from me when we pick her back up though."

"If you want... you can go back over to the others and check. I'm sure they have news by now. I'll... I'll be fine here," I told him very unconvincingly. I mean, of course I preferred having him here to being alone in this cargo hold with only the cars for company. But I was serious at the same time. I didn't want him to feel like he had to be here with me- be stuck with this girl rather than the one he really had wanted to save and impress.

"I'm not leaving you."

"I'll be fine, Fitz. I don't... think I can move even if-"

"I'm not leaving you," he repeated, making it clear there was no arguing with him. He pulled me closer to him, resting his head atop mine so I was tucked under his chin. "I'm okay right here... with you. So if you don't mind I'm just going to stay here and keep doing what I'm doing." I barely managed to nod, honestly almost crying from relief and exhaustion as my mind started to catch up with how close I had to come. That I had almost died.

The larger part of my body was now starting to win and I found my eyes drifting shut more than once in the next few moments. "Lee... I'm pretty tired. I'm trying to stay awake...but-"

"No. Go to sleep," he insisted, hugging me I think almost unconsciously. "Your body needs you to take it easy for a bit. It took quite the beating after all- what with nearly shocking your brain with 2,000 kilajoules and all that." I let my eyes stay closed this time, managing one last bit of dialogue before I surrendered myself to the blackness.

"Thanks for being my hero, Lee. Don't worry about... me too much. Trust me...because I'm going to bounce...bounce right back."

And I don't know if it was real, but I think I heard him answer me. It sounded something like, "I do, Ash. I absolutely do."

XXX

The next time I came to had to be quite a while later, judging by the fact I was staring at the ceiling of my bunk in total darkness. Someone had even gone through the trouble of tucking me in nicely under my blanket. I guessed it was probably Skye- that touch seemed to be her style. My chest still was clenched tight in pain and I felt pretty weak all over, but it still seemed like I was improving rather than falling apart. I could breathe easier at least. I would take progress.

"I was hoping you'd sleep longer." I lifted my head up to see Coulson seated on the edge of my bed, still in his suit though his tie was undone. "We figured with the way you can sleep in and how bad you looked that you'd make it to at least three in the afternoon tomorrow. Not three in the morning." He looked like it had been a hell of a day, which I could imagine it had been for him. I went to speak, but he obviously knew where I was going to go first. "Simmons and Ward were both picked up hours ago. He managed to administer the antiserum to her in time and she's fine. She actually seemed better off than you- she thinks because you had direct contact with the virus and thus a quicker timetable." I let my head fall back on my pillow, not having the energy to keep it up still.

"You got mad at her, didn't you?" He didn't even have to answer. "I know she didn't exactly have my consent when she did it, but I would have agreed with her, sir. I would have jumped myself if I could to save all of you too."

"I know you would have," he said simply. "I'm just thankful it worked out like it did so Fitz could get you." I tried to sit up to talk to him better, but the pain in my chest made me hiss. "Just settle back down. I'm hoping you drift off again soon enough."

"I feel like I had a heart attack," I was frank as I gave up and lay back down.

"Fitz felt his device was unfinished and he had mere seconds to deliver the antiserum before we lost you. He decided to go to where it would get to the brain as fast as possible… your heart. He also did direct skin contact which left you with some burns and that feeling you have right now. He's hopeful it will dissipate in a few days and quite guilty he had to do it."

I processed this, my brain still a little slow on the uptake. But something he said caught my attention. "Wait. Skin contact? So he-?"

"Yes. It seemed to embarrass him quite a bit when we finished dealing with the Moroccan government for landing and got down to the two of you." I swear I could tell he had a smile on his face just from how he said the next words. "He swore up and down he didn't look though. You nearly broke his wrist though." What? I didn't recall that in the slightest. How did I-? "You let out an electrostatic pulse when he administered the antiserum and it was powerful enough to knock him back… into Lola who now has a Fitz-sized dent in her."

"I can pay for that," I offered, knowing he couldn't be happy about that. "You can take it out of my paychecks for however long you need to."

"I'm not worried about it." I could swear he almost sounded sincere, but he couldn't be. "A lot of things got put in perspective today, Ashleigh. Like how people are more important than even the flying cars." I felt his hand on my foot. "Skye was right. You have people who would miss you if something happened. We would all be devastated to lose you because you bring such a light to this Bus with just your presence. You give a lot of love, but don't forget to take some of what's given back to you. All of us here really care about Ashleigh Crawford. Don't forget that." With that, he rose to his feet. "Just don't let anything happen to Lola again. This was your free pass."

"I won't sir." I tried not to cry for what had to be the millionth time, but the words were so strong it was hard not to. "Thanks for keeping an eye on me."

"It was more I had to stay here to chase everyone away," he admitted bluntly. "Fitz, Simmons, Skye, and even Ward keep stopping in. I told them you needed some time before you were ready for visitors, but I worried they wouldn't listen. No one ever really listens to my orders except you." He opened the door and my eyes closed at the light of the hallway. "Get some rest. May even says she'll give you the day off tomorrow."

"Oh joy," I groaned, not even able to picture training in the least right now. Literally everything ached just at the thought of it. Instead once Coulson left me by my lonesome in my bunk I quickly fell asleep again, thinking three sounded like a pretty fine time to me as well.

XXX

I somehow only made it to eight, which ironically was earlier than I had ever woken up before. I managed to pull myself out of the bed, noticing Skye had also been kind enough to wrangle me into my favorite pajamas last night as well. My throat was dry, my chest was sore, and I must have looked like an absolute mess from all the sweat yesterday. But I could tell I only had the energy to get to one place, and despite my better judgement it wasn't the bathroom.

The four of them were all there gathered around the Night-Night gun when I stumbled through the back doorway. Skye was the first to notice me, running to me and pulling me into the biggest hug I had ever experienced in my life. "Thank God you're okay," she muttered into my shoulder. "I was so worried…"

I patted her back comfortingly. "It takes more than an alien virus to take me out, Skye. Never doubt that." She pulled away from me, hands still on my shoulders.

"It is so good to hear you talk like that. You have no idea." She went back over to the others, but the moment she let go I nearly lost my balance and toppled over. I managed to grab a counter but the effect was immediate. Ward of all people was instantly at my side, hand on my back.

"We need to get her somewhere to sit," he ordered the others. They instantly started going here and there to various chairs and offering them up as solutions. "We're not making her walk. Someone bring one to her."

"You don't have to-"Fitz had a chair at my side before I could say anything more, his favorite wheeling one. "Thank you." Ward helped me sit back in it as Fitz held it steady, the girls just hovering. The whole situation almost seemed to be out of a sketch comedy. Part of me was convinced they were being this over-the-top on purpose. But then I remembered Coulson's words and allowed myself to take in just how much these people cared about me. It was pretty staggering really. I'm glad I was sitting down already.

"I see you are working the pajamas this morning," Fitz commented, seeming completely at ease with me in a way we hadn't been since I revealed my secret. I turned to look at him so fast it gave me whiplash. I thought we had cleared up some things yesterday, but I wasn't expecting him to come around like this. I wasn't expecting them to almost be normal.

I tried not to be too uncomfortable with the sudden shift though, falling back on the old routine as something came to mind. "From what I hear, it's not giving you a look at anything you haven't seen already." And just like that, I flipped the switch that made him go absolutely red. Skye actually let out a guffaw.

"I, uh, I wasn't sure... the second device wasn't finished," he sputtered. "And we had mere seconds before... you know. So I needed it to get to, uh, to get to your brain as fast as possible." He was really tripping over himself and I could only smirk, just letting him continue for my own amusement. "Your heart as you might know pumps blood everywhere really quickly so I... I aimed for there. But I didn't want to-to set your shirt on fire or risk anything not working so... I did- really I did what needed to be done. I didn't look though, I swear." He was somehow getting redder. "Not that I wouldn't want to- not that I'd want to I mean! That's, uh, that's what I meant." He looked heavenward as if for some sort of divine inspiration and I finally decided maybe I should speak up and bail him out.

"Why, Fitz," I gave it my best Southern belle impression which had everyone laughing even harder. "Do you mean to say that saving me life was just one big excuse to look at my equipment?" The shocked look on his face as I called back to the day we met was enough to send me into a fit of giggles, which quickly halted when they caused some unwelcome spasms in my chest. "Oh, you can't make me laugh like that. It hurts too much." He still looked very uncomfortable though, so I put a hand on his arm. "It's okay. Seriously. I get it. You were just being a hero and saving my life." Somehow that made him look even more uncomfortable which wasn't quite what I was going for. "I will never be able to thank you enough for that."

I turned to Jemma, needing to clear something now. "Just like I won't be able to thank you enough." She went to speak, obviously guilty, but I wasn't about to let her. "You did exactly what I would have wanted you to given what we knew about the situation. You were thinking of the team and I won't fault you for that… ever. Also don't sell yourself short on the fact that with Fitz you solved this entire thing and possibly a lot more lives outside mine. I forgive you, so you need to forgive yourself, okay?" I expected and welcomed the hug that followed.

"You, Ashleigh, are too good of a friend. Seriously, I wouldn't have made it through all of that without you by my side." She squeezed me tight. "I never thought I'd say this about you, but I'd be willing to make you my lab partner anytime."

"As long as you don't attempt to throw me out of any more planes it's a deal."

"Sounds good," she laughed as she backed away from me, fond smile on her face. I looked over the Night-Night gun on the table that everyone had been talking about when I came in. As I did, I realized someone was draping a blanket around my shoulders. I guess I had been shivering a bit, especially with just shorts on. I turned to see Fitz still casually leaning against my chair- almost keeping watch over me in a way. It was kind of perplexing- the sudden shift of his orbit to include me once again and to such a large degree. I had expected him to be acting this way around Simmons rather than myself.

"What's going on here?" I tried to make conversation, nodding towards the gun. "Is Ward giving you two grief again?"

"I'm merely suggesting-"

"We'll get to that in a minute," Fitz dismissed him. "First, you look positively famished and need to get your strength up." He ran over to the incubator and pulled out a late, presenting it before me. "I made you some eggs and a baked potato- full of protein and carbs." The eggs looked a little all over the place, but they seemed edible enough. It looked like he had slightly overcooked the potato though. He then ran to the fridge and put a gallon of orange juice on the counter before me. "Also, uh, very good to get some vitamins in there." I looked over the interesting combination, smile lighting up my face.

"You made this for me?" I asked almost in disbelief.

"I told him I could at least make the potato hash brown, but he insisted he had to make everything," Skye commented, happy I seemed so happy.

"And I made sure to clean out that incubator real well this morning before he put anything in there, I promise," Simmons added.

"I would have made you your favorite meal, but then I remembered we don't, uh, exactly know what your real favorite meal is. It would seem to be Pop Tarts, but those aren't exactly the best for you when you're… getting over a virus." He was stuttering up and down the place again, and it just made my smile brighter. "But, go ahead. Dig in. The whole gallon's for you so you can drink right from it."

"Thank you very much," I told him sincerely before taking my first bite of the eggs. They were a little chewy, but not bad for a first try. "Skye, you might have some competition," I quipped, taking a sip of the juice.

"Don't worry. I have plans to take you on a whirlwind tour of food so we can figure out what your actual favorite it. Plus, I get this cast off soon and we can begin those driving lessons."

"I was also thinking we could watch Episode Four tonight," Fitz added, still hovering behind me. "That is, uh, if you're up for it. If you're too tired than we don't have to. I don't want to push you too much but it was just an idea. Or we could watch something to put you to sleep if you're tired… or nothing at all. Whatever you want to do."

I turned to Simmons. "Did he do this to you too?"

"Not to the same extent," she answered honestly. "I think it might have to do with the burn marks you have below you clavicle."

I shrugged. "I'll take it."

Skye let out a happy sigh. "I missed that smile on your face after this week."

"I did too," I agreed sincerely. I went back to my meal as the others discussed the Night-Night gun, arguing over the necessity of shaving off an ounce in the grand scheme of things. Skye and Ward seemed to have made up judging by the way he was, you know, speaking to her and I couldn't muster up even an ounce of surprise. I'm just glad that drama was over with. They kept looking back my way though, and I made sure to wave and indicate that I was indeed still alive. Coulson even stopped by, hand resting on my shoulder for a long moment as he weighed in on the debate and settled things firmly in Ward's favor- to Fitz-Simmons annoyance. Once I finished, though not the gallon of orange juice because who could, I found myself starting to drift off just listening to them. It wasn't that I was bored or anything, I was just still pretty worn out from the whole ordeal. They noticed pretty quickly though and Fitz was the first to offer to escort me back to my room so I could get some more rest.

"I think you could literally ask him for anything right now and he would say yes," Skye whispered to me as she helped me up, mischievous look in her eyes. "So think of something really good, okay?"

The two of us started walking back through the Bus. I managed alright on my own, just needing some assistance to get up that stairs. I felt I had to get something out while we had a moment alone. "So I have to admit I'm a little confused. The last thing I remember is the two of us fighting and now you're cooking me breakfast and… talking to me."

He took a moment before answering. "Well, one of the last things I remember is your body nearly rolling off the Bus and thinking I wasn't going to make it to you in time," he answered simply, lack of emotion in his voice as if he was afraid to really think about it. "And I remember thinking that I had spent the last week ignoring you and making us both of us miserable."

"Because you were upset with me. And you have every right to be. I-"

"Almost died," he cut me off gravely as we arrived at my bunk. "You almost died, Ash. And it just… it just put some things in perspective alright? So if it's all the same to you, I think I'd like to go back to being your Girl Talk, Pop Tart, Star Wars companion as well. I mean, I understand if you don't with everything I did-"

I cut him off with the biggest I could muster, arms wrapped tightly around his neck and I nearly sent him toppling over. He managed to stay on his feet though and quickly returned it as I sighed, completely content. "Ash and Lee?" I asked.

"Ash and Lee," he echoed. "Always." I hugged him for another minute just so ecstatic to have him back after everything. I hadn't realized how much I really missed him until this moment- I knew there was a hole in my heart but I had no idea how large it was. I think it was the best thing that had happened to me since I woke up, because right here with him I finally felt for the first time like I was home. Like I was right where I belonged and I got to keep it after fighting like hell to find it. I was right where I was meant to be.

"I could stay with you a bit, if you want me too," he offered, noticing I seemed particularly attached to him at the moment. "Now that the situation is taken care of back in the lab I don't have much I need to get done. Simmons is just still cleaning up."

"I'd really like that," I answered, pulling him in behind me. We both settled onto my bunk, sitting with our heads against the wall and just enjoying one another's company again. It was surprising how normal it all seemed, like a switch had been flipped back on and suddenly the world was right again. I felt myself dozing off though, and leaned my head to rest on his shoulder. "You can leave whenever you want to. Don't think you're stuck here if I fall asleep on you."

"I'm fine for the moment. Don't, uh, don't worry about me." I started drifting off, but remembered something that went well with what Skye had said.

"Lee, what are you going to do with the mouse that survived?"

"Oh, the white one? I'm not sure Simmons has any plans for him right now. We might-"

"Can I keep him here? I feel like we have a connection since we both got through this mess. And I think he's suffered enough in that lab if my experience is anything to go by." There was a pause and I could tell he was debating, though we both clearly knew how this was going to end up. "I even named him."

He sighed. "What did you name him?"

"Cheesetauri."

He scoffed. "That's not even- that's just a pun disguised as a name. You can't-"He sighed again. I never lost an argument to Fitz, and I certainly wasn't going to lose one after I nearly died. "I'll see about bringing his cage in here once you're feeling better. I hope you know you're going to be the one taking care of him though. He will be your responsibility."

"I can handle it," I promised. "Thank you… both for the mouse and saving my life."

"It's not a problem… either thing."

"Especially since you put a dent in Lola which had to hurt. But then again you saw my bra so maybe that made-"

"Go to sleep, Ash."

I did. And he stayed with me for the whole six hours while I was out like a light. Because that's what Girl Talk, Pop Tart, Star Wars companions do.

XXX

Well, there it is. My favorite episode is on the books, but I'm really looking forward to where we go from here now that the secret is out. It's going to be a fun ride.

Thank you to our loyal Agents for making this story one of their favorite missions: Ashies and AvengersPrincess15.

Thank you to our new recruits Ashies, AvengersPrincess15, XVampireGal13X, and necko313 for joining us.

And a big shout-out to our Communication Agents for their words on encouragement: myharlequinromance321, MulishaMaiden, Giraffe Panda2, and Enecs.

Thank you all for your love and support as always. I love each and every single one of you to pieces and will see you next time.