Some Answers… Maybe

"Okay. Now that we have turned the car on, we're going to put our foot on the brake and move the gearshift to drive- that's the D like we covered." Skye pointed down between us as I gripped the wheel perhaps a little harder than was entirely necessary. I gave the smallest of nods, not quite believing in this method of learning in the heat of the moment. She seemed to be banking a lot on the fact that something was going to come back to me, a missing piece would suddenly click into place and I'd be a NASCAR driver. That didn't seem to be the case though as she looked at me with a large smile. "Is it coming back to you yet? Anything?"

"No. Not really. So I really think you should take the wheel-"

"You'll be fine," she patted me on the shoulder, looking over hers to the building covered in snow behind us. "He should be coming any moment. Just listen to the GPS." I glanced at the contraption between the two of us, highlighting the most efficient route back to the Bus. I took a deep breath, seeing my hands were literally trembling at the wheel. This was the most ridiculous teaching method that had probably ever existed. Plus probably not good for the girl who was shocked in the heart four days ago- the scab hadn't even fallen off yet. It might be a good idea not to stress that. How the hell did she get Coulson to agree to this?!

I pulled my hands away from the wheel, palms disgustingly wet. "Seriously, I can't-"

"Here he comes!" she interrupted me, causing me to grab the wheel again in my death grip- not so much due to her words and more to do with the blaring alarms now sounding from behind us as well. Despite my not wanting to be in this situation at all, there was the overriding thought in my brain that we were on a mission and now things had become serious. I was now being counted on… and there wasn't enough time to beg Skye to take my place as I jumped into the backseat of the Jeep. Or at least it looked like a Jeep. When you were at the wheel I swear to God it might as well have been a tank. I could do this. I could do this. I… couldn't do this. I sure as hell couldn't-

"Go!" Skye shouted as I heard the back door open and someone climb inside. I released my foot from the brake and slammed on the gas pedal, only for the car to lurch a touch but not make any forward progress. "Put it in Drive! You need to put it in Drive!"

"The yelling is not an effective teaching tool!" I threw some of that energy back at her as I slammed the brake and moved the gearstick to the needed position. "Just saying!"

"They're coming," Ward's voice said from behind us and I slammed my foot down on the pedal once again. This time we went rocketing forward down the street, quickly reaching seventy miles per hour. I did my best to hold us straight and true, praying to every deity I could that there was no ice in my future because I had no semblance of control right now. I was just going like a shot, ignoring any and all signs and traffic around me. I don't think that is how driving was supposed to work though- perhaps another flaw in what I refer to as 'The Bat out of Hell' Teaching Method.

I actually thought I was doing pretty close to alright until the window shattered behind us and nearly made me steer the car into a pole and I screamed. "Just keep driving!" Ward barked before I saw in the mirror that he was leaning out the window to shoot at a black car now following us. I should really be checking these mirrors now… and my speedometer which was now at eighty-two. "Skye, you might want to consider-"

"She's fine Ward!" Skye barked from next to me, though her knuckled were white around the armrest as I made the required turn without even touching the brake and nearly hit a very nice looking house. "She's mostly close to fine!" The shooting continued on both sides, all of us shrinking down in our seats a little. "I would worry about losing them before we get to the Bus!" Then my window cracked beside me, eliciting a scream as I saw another black car clearly not abiding traffic laws as it was streaking along the lane for the other direction.

"Skye!" Ward shouted again, momentarily ducking back into the Jeep. I was pretty sure I was hyperventilating at this point; my arms shaking as another shot shattered the window for good- sending glass flying all over me. I ducked as a shot flew over my head and embedded itself in Skye's window. "Do it!"

"She's- look out!" The car beside us was now moving to hit us, swinging one way so it could come barreling into us. With only a few seconds to spare, I slammed my feet onto the brake and ground us to such a sharp halt I worried I gave everyone whiplash. I myself smacked my head on the steering wheel pretty hard, judging from the sound the horn made. The car swiped sideways into thin air and then into a fancy brick decoration for a mailbox before spinning over. "Oh my God," Skye muttered in complete disbelief as she stared at the wreckage. I couldn't believe I had managed that myself really. But there was no time to dwell on that.

"Everyone okay? Ward wasn't thrown out of the car, was he?" I asked in a loud but completely trembling voice. She looked back and as soon as I had her nod of confirmation I was off again like a bolt of lightning. I wasn't risking anyone getting that close to us again. "We are never doing this again, okay?! Consider this a very failed experiment! Next time you are taking me to a parking lot like a normal human being!"

Skye didn't seem worked up in the slightest, which annoyed me drastically more. "I don't know. You seem to be doing alright for yourself with that little stunt back there."

"Please don't encourage her," I heard Ward groan. "Knowing how to hit a brake does not make her ready to audition for James Bond just yet. We all just got really lucky." The Bus was within site now as I skidded off the road and through some brush, barreling at a pace that was tearing up the local foliage. I would have to leave a donation with the local- focus. This task really required focus right now judging by how hard the steering wheel was jerking under my hands as I desperately tried to keep it steady. I was pretty sure my heart was ready to give out at this point- trying to save the hyperventilating for when we were safe at least.

"How about we play some music?" Skye suggested as I made my way for the cargo ramp. "I stole your iPod and hooked it up to the car. Maybe that'll calm everyone-"She backed down immediately at my glare, hands going from the knob to the air in front of her. "Or we could just sit in silence. Driver's choice I guess." We were getting closer to the ramp and I started to apply the brake a little more gently this time, not wanting to damage Lola for the second time in these past few weeks by crashing into her. Coulson even appeared on the edge of it with Fitz-Simmons right behind him.

I came in a little too hot though- naturally. My idea of hitting the brake was done late and still pretty abruptly, almost like I had no teaching prior to this point. Imagine that. I ended up having to spin the wheel to avoid running the lot of them over, doing a few doughnuts in the icy terrain around us. The three of us were thrown about quite a great deal and I'm pretty sure we lost a tire on a rock judging from the pop, but eventually we came to a stop. I threw the Jeep in Park as fast as I could and nearly fell out of my door onto the nearest bush, nearly crying as I started to come down from the adrenaline. Well, I had done it. I still wasn't putting any merit in the method though and applying for a new teacher immediately.

I felt a hand under my elbow and allowed it to help me up to my feet and steady me as I staggered. "Easy, Ash. You're alright." I locked my face on Fitz's and steadied myself with a deep trembling breath. Coulson and Simmons were soon beside me as well with our leader taking in the damage the Jeep had taken during our little drive. "You did it!"

"Barely," Ward grumbled, allowing me to look at him for the first time in the last few minutes, eyes going to the folder clenched firmly in his right hand. He quickly handed it over to Coulson, smirk on his face. "But we got it though. I took everything they had."

Coulson nodded. "We'll get this back on the Bus and then take off immediately. May said everything's ready to go. We need to collect Agent Shaw as soon as possible before they act on this." Coulson hopped in the driver's seat while Ward went around the back with Skye to help with pushing. I rolled the sleeves up on my coat and went to do the same, but Coulson shook his head. "Crawford, I think you've had enough excitement for today."

"Sir, I'm-"

"I know. And despite a few scratches and shattered windows it looks like you did alright for your first outing. I'm taking it you didn't end up using it, Skye?" She shook her head as I whipped to look at her curiously. With a sigh, she produced a triggering device from her coat. "I gave her the vehicle's Autopilot feature just in case you weren't ready."

I just stared at it. "You've got to be freaking kidding me." I took a step towards her, but Fitz halted me with a tight hand on my shoulder to remind me I really didn't want to hurt her. I just thought I did right now. "I could've killed all of us and you had the power to prevent that?!"

"I didn't want to take it in the first place," Skye explained as she put it away. "It was their condition to letting me do this. But I knew all it would take was the fact that you needed to get us to safety to spur you on." She could read me like a book at this point, couldn't she? "And I think you did amazing- though I was hoping we would jog something in your head loose. There are just some minor things we need to iron out in future sessions… like using brakes properly. But I'm confident we'll get there eventually."

I went to say something again, but Coulson beat me to it. "We need to get moving. Agent Shaw is counting on us. Fitz, take Crawford back with you and we'll wrap this up." He beat me again as I started to open my mouth. "Go rest, Crawford. I know this was a lot for your first day back. You did a good job and like Skye I consider this mission to be a success."

"Thank sir, sincerely." I let Fitz give me a bit of a twirl and start to lead me towards the cargo ramp of the Bus. His pride was almost enough to make this whole experience worth it. But then I remembered the cold sweat currently dripping down my neck and how close we had cut it. "Just know I'm never doing that again because my nerves are officially shot. Next time I get a parking lot or maybe a deserted country road."

Fitz finally let go of me as we reached the sloping ramp, allowing me to put one foot in front of the other and force myself up it. It had been a week but my chest was still pretty tight when we reached the top, causing me to stop and take a few deep breaths. It was a bit of a slower road than I would have liked, but at least I was back on working missions. Progress was being made and I was no longer going insane as I alternated between the couch and my bunk. Now if only May would let me back on the mat again in some capacity rather than insisting I wasn't ready yet.

The others had done their best of course- stopping in to visit and joining me in a board game or a movie when they had some free time. I had finished the Star Wars saga with Fitz and Skye and was a little addicted I admit, actually managed to beat Simmons at Operation, cried into Ward's shoulder during Good Will Hunting, and even managed to hold my own in a game of checkers with Coulson. He said I was the most graceful loser I had ever seen. They all took care of me in their own way and it made me eternally grateful to each and every single one of them for caring so much.

Fitz had been my rock though, practically gluing himself to my side when I wasn't dead to the world. He was always trying to make me smile and laugh in some capacity, keeping things light and proving himself to be the right choice in my best friend as he bounced around the place to keep me happy. I had told him he didn't need to do this out of guilt for the past week, but he had just given me a hard stare and kept on doing what he was. He almost seemed to keep me anchored to the ground, being much more comfortable in being around me than he had been before this whole mess. He seemed more confident in speaking up and sharing what was on his mind. There was also a lot more touching for a guy who previously hadn't been thrilled by physical contact. He always was ready to steady me somehow with a hand on the arm or shoulder and just leaving it there. Maybe all it had taken was seeing my equipment- no. He made it a point to try really hard to keep his eyes locked on my face these days.

But I couldn't help but notice his relationship with Simmons seemed to do the opposite. Their relationship seemed to be the same on the surface, but I caught the glances her way. I caught the fact that he stuttered much more around her these days and held his tongue when she talked in a way that he never had before. No one else seemed to catch on at this point, especially her. Now I had my suspicions as to what this meant, but I didn't want to become the Bus gossip. It just wouldn't surprise me that he started to evaluate some feelings after nearly losing her. It almost seemed inevitable as I couldn't picture either of them with anyone else- his no longer present crush on Skye included. But I kept my mouth shut. If it was true, then I was confident he would tell me for himself since I was his Girl Talk companion and all.

We made our way through the Bus to my bunk, where I fell onto my bed with my back against the wall. He stood looking down at me for a second, eyes glancing over to the squeaking wheel on my dresser as Cheesetauri got his daily exercise in. Simmons had been reluctant to hand him over, but a little groveling from Fitz and my new pet mouse was living the good life in my room the next day. He had even gone back on his word and taken care of him the first few days of my recovery, talking me through the ins and outs of being a good pet owner and newfound responsibility. Not that I needed help in getting attached to the little guy after I looked in on him for the first time. I just felt like we had an understanding about what we had both been through, and he certainly made the room less lonely when I needed someone to talk to. I was ultimately a girl with her first pet and I was absolutely in love with him. Everything he did was cute even when it wasn't.

Everyone on the Bus I think worried I took it a little too far by carrying him around with me quite a bit- and by a bit I mean pretty much everywhere but the bathroom. I never let him leave my hands if I could help it, but for some people that just didn't seem to be enough. So after he managed to crawl across the table and mix up some data during one Briefing the poor guy had been place under house arrest. But they seemed okay since he made me so happy to keep him around despite not being rodent fans.

"Anything, um, come back to you?" he asked after a moment as he took a seat next to me, leaning his head back against the wall as well. He frowned when I shook my head.

"Skye seemed convinced it would, being in that situation, but it's still just as lonely up there as ever." I gently tapped my knuckles on my noggin, trying to keep the frustration out of my voice. Because I was starting to get frustrated, especially with how hard the team was now rallying to see if the smallest thing could help me out. I had once sat in the lab while Fitz-Simmons assaulted my nostrils with different smells in the hopes something would stick. Ward had guided me over maps in the hopes a location would sound familiar and give us a starting point. Even Coulson and May were asking questions- hoping something got pried loose just enough for it all to come flooding back to me. They also seemed to be trying to get through to Fury on their separate channels, though neither seemed to be having any success. If he knew something he was content keeping it to himself. Everyone took a time-out from a joke or statement to fill me in on what it meant meaning I at least knew where the term 1.21 gigawatts came from now. Hooray for me.

The only one who didn't seem to care as much as the others… was me actually. I was okay with the ways things were now. I was happy where I belonged with my team and doing something that felt important. And I felt like whoever I was might just drag that down in a way. What if I had a husband and kids? What about my parents? I seriously doubted I told them about this whole adventure. Would finding them again mean I would be wanted there more than here as my team was desperate for me to reconnect? The concept that I also might just have been a straight up God awful person had crossed my mind as well too. We could find out who I was and then come to see me as some sort of monster. There were so many possibilities and I found each scarier than the last.

Ultimately, I trusted myself enough to know I had done this for a reason. I had believed in something and that was good enough for me. If they came back then they came back. The scenario didn't have to be forced. But it's hard to tell your friends that when they're trying so hard to fix what they see as a broken piece of you that you should have.

I felt a hand on my knee that pulled me out of my thoughts. Fitz was the only one I had opened up to how I was feeling about all this, though I don't think he really understood just how much it haunted me. He had merely assured me my feelings were legitimate and warranted which seemed to be enough to keep me from losing my mind about the whole topic. When I felt like I was being suffocated by the whole ordeal all I had to do was flash a look at him and he found some excuse to get us out of there. It kept me from lashing out at anyone which I couldn't appreciate more because they were all just trying to help in the end. I was the one who wasn't being normal.

I leaned my head on his shoulder, blonde hair serving as a pillow. The last few hours were really starting to hit me, and despite my swearing up and down I was fine these days… I was so totally lying. "Don't let me fall asleep on you this time, okay?"

"Of course not."

"I'm fine and don't need to."

"Sure you don't, Ash."

"I mean it, Lee. You're not going to be stuck here while I use your neck as a pillow."

He sighed, knowing I wasn't letting it go. "I promise I won't."

He totally did- the big fat liar.

XXX

I woke up to find that I had been out for a few hours, during which time I had been moved to lie down on my pillow and a cover thrown on top of me. Which meant something must have happened that he needed to take care of, but it hadn't been urgent enough for them to find it necessary to wake me. Because I hope Coulson would have if I was needed.

I made my way into the living room area to find Fitz and Skye both working away on their various devices at one of the booths by a window, three cups of coffee on the table with them. I couldn't help my smile as I grabbed the third, taking a sip before speaking. "What's going on?"

"Ward, May, and Coulson recovered Shaw," Skye informed me, setting her tablet down to look at me. "Simmons has him in the lab. They have to do something gross that Fitz is afraid to be there for."

"I'm not… "He could tell neither of us was going to believe him, so he quickly gave up. "They're removing a capsule of information he smuggled… up his nose. By paranasal extraction or sticking a tool up his nose and pulling it out." I cringed and he gestured towards me. "Exactly that face! So I have no plans of being there. I'll take care of the information when Coulson brings it to me… after sterilizing it."

"No problems with Shaw though? Nothing I really should have been woken up for?" I asked, taking another sip.

They both shook their heads. Just then, we all seemed to converge together. Coulson stepped into the room from the lab with Simmons following behind him still in her lab coat just as May and Ward entered from the other way still in their mission gear, stopping their conversation as they saw who else was here. Coulson gave me a look and I just nodded, conveying that I was doing alright. He never pushed past that, knowing I wouldn't be able to lie to him if I wanted him to.

Fitz rose, stepping towards him. "Ah. Good. Done with the paranasal extraction nonsense. Do you need me to analyze the data?"

"That won't be necessary," Coulson stepped past the group of us. Skye, a little confused from the expression she flashed, rose and faced his back as Simmons came to a stop next to me.

"If it's encrypted, I can mine the chip for him."

He turned back to all of us. "I'm afraid this mission's classified. Clearance level eight."

"Ah," Simmons nodded like that made complete sense as the others seemed to concur.

Skye seemed really put out it though, muttering, "Uh." I shot my hand into the air.

"Fake clearance levels do not count, Crawford," he said with a fond smile that grew as I dropped it with a playful frown. "Everyone get ready for transport to the Hub." The Hub? Really? Oh boy. With that, he continued towards his office, leaving everyone else to go about their business. Fitz seemed ready to follow Simmons back into lab, Ward was checking his tablet while May was about to look through a folder. Everyone seemed perfectly happy except Skye.

"Wait. What? He can just shut us out of the process like that?" she questioned, halting everyone to look at her. I just took a sip of my coffee, not really keen of being left out but trusting Coulson enough in what he believed needed to be done. Plus, I didn't really have room to argue with protocol as the civilian who knew a lot of skeletons in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s closet I probably shouldn't have.

"Well, he did say the mission is level eight," Fitz shrugged, not seeing the issue.

"And we're not," Simmons added, "so we can't know about it."

"Right, but this is normally the part where we all stand around the holocom and we learn about stuff." So that's what that thing was called. Store that way for later. "Ashleigh, especially you should agree with me that-"

"I am staying firmly out of this," I quickly dodged, sitting in the spot Fitz had vacated with my cup of coffee.

"Fine. But, aren't we all on the same team?"

"No need to get started on one of your socialist rifts," Fitz quipped, earning a giggle from the group. I swatted him in the side without even looking. "What?"

"Be nice to her. She doesn't understand, so help her understand rather than make fun of her. How else is she supposed to become an Agent?"

"Get amnesia, tattoo her wrist, and show up in Fury's office," Ward said with crossed arms. I rolled my eyes at him.

"You're hysterical. Come on. Somebody step up."

"Why don't you explain it to her then?" May asked with a raised eyebrow at me.

"Because I'm drinking this coffee, May," I fired back before taking a large sip and burning my tongue. Everyone could see that but I tried to hold it together, emitting a chorus of laughter from the group as May just shook her head. "Plus I might not really know myself," I choked, fanning my tongue.

Simmons seemed to take my words to heart, taking a step forward. "S.H.I.E.L.D.'s who infrastructure is based on hierarchy and compartmentalization of knowledge."

"Every agent can't have the intel on every mission," Ward added. "Makes the entire organization vulnerable." With that, he seemed to consider the conversation closed. He walked off with Fitz-Simmons continuing their trek to the lab. Skye didn't seem won over though.

"Okay, fine, but if I just fought my way out of an underground Siberian prison, I'd kind of want to know what for."

May approached her, ready to tell it to her straight as the last resort. "Coulson's got you used to the plane, the way we do mission here. The Hub is different." And then she was on her way out as well, leaving just the two of us.

"The Hub?" She turned to me. "What's the Hub?"

"It's kind of what the name implies- the center of operations. Where everything happens and originates. The only building more important to the organization is the Triskelion in D.C., but that's just because that's where the high-ups have their office and is the face of the place. The Hub is the brain and where the magic really happens." She nodded, sitting across from me again. "See, wasn't that hard to explain? I don't want to know why it's so traumatizing to them." I shook my head, earning a small smile from her.

"Do you really think it's okay that we can just be shut out like that? Between us."

"I… I trust Coulson," was all I could say. It was really all I had and wanted to dwell on. Maybe part of me felt like Skye did and really didn't want to so I was hiding behind the fact. But it was what I was sticking to. She seemed to get as much staring at me before turning back to her tablet. I kept sipping my coffee, ignoring my throbbing tongue, and trying to avoid the window as we began to take off.

After a beat, she slid my iPod towards me. "I grabbed it from the Jeep." I smiled in thanks and went to stick it into my jeans pocket. "There's a lot of Johnny Cash on there, don't you think."

"I've been a little obsessed since Fitz and I watched Walk the Line. It was my first movie… and I think my favorite one so far. Him and June… my heart." I noticed Skye was staring at me with an expression I couldn't quite place. "What?"

"Nothing," she said a little too quickly, looking down again.

"Ashleigh!" I looked up to see Simmons at the door that led to the lab. "I was wondering if I could get a blood sample."

"Another one?" I couldn't help but let slip. This would be like the fifth time in a week.

"Yes. I think I might have a new way that could possibly-"

"I think May was looking for her in the cockpit though," Fitz cut in, though I couldn't see him. "At least… that's what I heard. Really important. But then she fell asleep."

I rose, silently thanking him. "That's right. I almost forgot. I need to go do that. Then I'll be with you Simmons." She nodded, accepting this as I made my way to the cockpit with the plans to just hide there with May in silence. Fitz had at least bought me until after the trip to the Hub. I was excited to see it for the first time after all I had read about it.

I didn't think about the obvious until I took the seat next to May and she spoke up to my surprise. Usually these rides were done in complete silence. That's why I hid here. The sentence: "Maybe while we're at the Hub we can see if they have any answers on you." And then she was silent for the rest of the flight as I sat next to her, silently panicking and trying not to hyperventilate. Because there might actually be answers now and I don't know if I want them.

Well, here we go.

XXX

I made my way down the cargo ramp, doing my best not to trip in the heeled boots I had put on. The Hub called for appropriate attire and I was still playing the part of an Agent to the rest of S.H.I.E.L.D. so I needed to look the part. I had thrown a nicer black sweater over a button-up white shirt, a pair of black pant with brown leather heeled boots, and even went through the trouble of slightly curling my hair and draping it over one shoulder. Ward had reminded me about my badge, which was clipped to the sweater with my face staring out- that awful shot I had not given Hill permission to use. Maybe I could change it while I was here. It might have all been a bit much, but I could play pretend for a few hours, especially for the chance to see the place unhindered as Level 7 Agent Crawford.

Skye was at the bottom, staring in shock at all the people working around us. Coulson was seizing the chance while the Bus was parked to have it checked over and stocked with new supplies. He had promised me this included a generous addition to my Pop Tart supply- though it may mean a dent in my paycheck. Which was fine by me. As far as I knew, I wasn't getting paid.

"Wow," she spoke up when I stopped next to her. She glanced at me and gave me an approving nod. "Wow." I waved a hand at her in dismissal. "I didn't know you were capable of doing anything with your hair except putting it in a ponytail." She looked out over the place as the others came up next to us, Ward back in his suit while the others had cleaned up a bit and put on crisper clothes saved just for the occasion. He gave me a quick once over and I did my best to keep from feeling uncomfortable at his gaze.

"So this is the Hub? The group of us… well you dressing like we work in an office building?"

Coulson started out of the hangar, and we followed him into the largest hallway I had ever seen in my life. People were literally everywhere running this way and that. We were able to form a straight line walking shoulder to should down it the seven of us and leave plenty of room for others to go about their business. I looked to see Skye in even greater shock than before. "No. This is the Hub."

"Didn't realize big brother was this big."

"I'm honestly a little overwhelmed myself," I admitted, trying to show she wasn't completely out floating by herself. This was my first visit too.

Simmons smirked from next to us, clearly at home amongst the controlled chaos. I wonder how often the others had been here. "Oh, this is nothing. Wait until you see the Triskelion."

"Everyone's wearing the same suit," Skye commented with an obvious dig meant as Ward because of course she was. "Someone tell me why, please?" We walked up to a desk where a row of glowing passes were displayed, each one with a name typed across it. I quickly grabbed the one meant for me and followed Coulson around the turn, trying not to stare at anything so long I fell behind.

"Do I get one?" Skye questioned, stepping up to Coulson. She seemed to be a little insecure now that we were in such a large setting and she felt like she was being left out. I mean, we both weren't Agents, but only one of us was being treated that way. I could understand why she was so defensive.

"You holding up okay?" Fitz said from next to me. "You're, um, teetering quite a bit on those heels. I'm just making sure it's the heels and not you."

I put a hand on his arm. "It's the heels, Lee. Trust me. Plus, maybe a bit of nerves about what we may find while we're here." He seemed to catch my true meaning and gave me a reassuring glance.

"It'll be fine." We reached a sliding door where a bald man in glasses emerged.

"Agent Sitwell," Coulson greeted. Sitwell smiled but I almost swore he looked past him to look at me for a moment, as if registering I was there. I tried to slide closer to the group and blend in.

"Agent Coulson," he smiled and shook Coulson's hand. "Good to see you feeling better. Agent Hand's waiting for you in the situation room."

"And she doesn't like to wait," Coulson continued.

"So you know her?"

"Only her reputation," he told Sitwell as they made their way over to the scanning panel on the wall. "After you."

"Your level sevens can join us in the briefing," Sitwell informed him as he held his hand up to the screen and it glowed green as the doors opened. Coulson followed, but as Skye put her wrist band to the device it made an awful noise and went red. She tried to pull it free and I ran forward to help her, pulling it free as Coulson came back to us.

"Is this your subtle way of saying I can't come with?" she questioned, shaking her wrist out.

"We'll be back," was the only answer he gave before vanishing again, May and Ward behind him. I suddenly felt a shove of my shoulder and turned to see Simmons staring at me with wide eyes.

"Ashleigh, you're Level Seven," she reminded me. "You should follow them."

"Oh. Right." I flashed my badge and the screen glowed green. I gave Skye a sympathetic look. "I will tell you everything, okay?" She nodded and I glanced at the two scientists who looked envious that I was going to meet Victoria Hand herself. "Listen, I'm sorry that as level fives-"

"It's fine. Just go," Simmons insisted, and with that I stepped through the door. I had to jog a bit to catch up with the group, pulling beside Ward just as we were about to enter another glass door with a map painted on it.

"Don't let me do anything stupid please," I whispered to him as we stepped through.

"Something tells me despite my efforts that might just be impossible," he muttered back, just a hint of a smile on his face. We seemed to have settled into this routine- one of two people who just couldn't resist making digs at one another despite the fact I actually liked the guy. I just couldn't let him know that because then it would no longer be fun. And luckily right now it was keeping my nerves under control as I flashed him a glare and earned another smirk.

The glass doors opened to reveal the woman of the hour- a very severe looking woman with glasses and a few streaks of red in her hair. Yet those didn't seem to dial back her stern demeanor in the slightest or take an edge off of her. She still had plenty of them from the stories I'd read.

I was about to step through when I felt a hand grab my arm and stop me. I was pulled closer to Agent Sitwell, whose kind demeanor had faded a bit as his face became very close to my own. It was a bit uncomfortable honestly. "Agent Sitwell, I need to-"

"What you need, Ashleigh Crawford is to come see me tonight at this location." I felt something be slipped into my pocket. "Fury hasn't been honest with any of you. I can give you the truth if you come meet me. I promise."

I didn't like this situation at all, but maybe it was just the fact that my heart was beating like ten times faster at his words. "And what if I don't want to know?" I couldn't help but ask in my most dangerous voice. I don't know if he was being creepy or if my brain was painting it that way because it wanted out of this whole thing.

"Trust me. I've seen what he found. You want to know." And with that he was suddenly pulling away from me, though his eyes were still intensely locked on mine. It was like a war as the two of us just stared one another down, me desperately trying to figure out what was going on here. My pocket almost seemed to be burning. "Coulson will be waiting for you," he gestured to the door. And then I vanished down the hallway, leaving me with very conflicting emotions. Was he serious? He seemed to be. I mean he was a fellow Agent like me, so was he just being intense to get the point across? Was it all in my head? What were these-?

I needed to stop. I forced myself through the glass doors, doing my best to slide right into the conversation. But Hand immediately locked on me and her face tightened. "She shouldn't be here."

I nearly panicked, but Coulson took control of the situation before my brain could fuddle together a response. "I'm sorry, but Agent Crawford is-"

"She's nothing," Hand cut him off curtly. She looked me over. "You're forgetting that I am behind only Hand, Fury, and Pierce in terms of seniority. I know all about his new pet project and I have no plans to put up with it on something this classified." She looked everyone over. "And I'm guessing the group of you already knew judging by the lack of reaction. I was hoping I was going to be able to break it you, but I'm not surprised she couldn't keep a secret a few months."

"I can go," I offered, not wanting to complicate things even further. I was already mixed up without being personally attacked by Agent Hand. "I'll just go find Skye and-"

"Stay," Coulson ordered. "Agent Hand, Crawford is a member of my team as you know personally assigned by Director Fury. He clearly wants her to be here and I would hate to report a lack of cooperation on your part in following his commands and desires."

She just stared at him before shaking her head. "Damn you for being his favorite Coulson. If you were anyone else…" She glared at me one last time before resuming her expressionless mask. "As I was saying, I need a two-man team to sneak across the disputed border undetected, break into the separatist stronghold, and disable the weapon in the next twenty-four hours." Looks like I had missed quite a bit. "And you have two people who fit my bill." Coulson turned to look at May and Ward, who looked quite proud of themselves I must say.

"Not a problem," Ward smiled. "I was in Georgia during the incursion in '08. I still have contacts on the South Ossetian border."

"And you'll have to use them. But we don't have specs on that device, so I need someone on the team who can identify and dismantle it on-site." I quickly realized she meant someone other than May, and I think I made the conclusion faster than Ward did judging by his face.

"Do you mean…"

"I think she does," Coulson agreed.

"Agent Fitz will be accompanying you," she clarified. "We will get the two of you ready and then prepare to ship out. You all are dismissed." Coulson nodded and led us out of the room without another word- I ducked my head down to avoid looking at Hand and her saying something else to me. Ward still clearly is a degree of shock as we made our way down the hallway and I really needed to feel better.

"So you and Fitz? This must be like a dream come true for you."

He didn't want to bite though, choosing a more serious route. "Don't worry, Crawford. I'll keep an eye on him."

I snorted. "I actually think he'll be the one who needs to save your ass, Ward," I joked as we came upon the others, just in time to see Fitz be locked in the eternal battle with a cart loaded with various tools and supplies and a sliding glass door.

"It's stuck! The cart's stuck. That's unbelievable. What the hell?! Who designed this?! In the Hub of all places." I literally had to cover my mouths with my hands as the uncontrollable giggling started.

"As long as there are no doors like that, you should be fine." He clearly wasn't playing along, so I decided to go for a moment of honesty. "Hey, it's better than being stuck here with Victoria Hand. She's a real-"

"I let you do something stupid," he didn't let me get to the best word.

"And what was that?"

"You didn't even try to argue with Hand, and that wasn't like Agent Crawford at all, especially when it comes to learning about what her team will be going through. She didn't put her big mouth to use for once and fight for herself."

"It wouldn't have worked. She knows."

"Trust me, it still works," he disagreed. "I don't know what happened, but don't let this place overwhelm you. You should be here and offering to leave the room isn't going to help her believe that."

I frowned. "Why do you have to be right? It sucks when you're right." I took a beat, contemplating two members of my team being pulled from us for what seemed to be a pretty dangerous scenario. And then I remembered the fact that this would be my first real time away from either of them before pulling him into an unexpected hug. "Both of you need to come back in one piece. You have my permission to kill as many bad guys as you need to do that, okay? Don't even try talking to them; just mow them down so you can get home."

"I appreciate that, Crawford. Don't worry," he pulled away. "You're stuck with me." He looked past me to where Fitz seemed to have pulled himself through the door finally with Skye and Simmons's assistance. "And it looks like I'm stuck with him."

"Be patient with him," I held up my lecturing finger. "He's just going to want to impress you and show you that he can do it. He looks up to you, Ward, and that's a pretty big responsibility for you as well. Plus, he's a very talented Agent and you're lucky to have him."

"I'll do my best," he managed, both of us watching as Fitz tripped over the cart and was sent sprawling to the floor, making the both of us cringe.

XXX

A few hours later, I was standing in front of the holocom; see I used the word, with Ward, May, and Coulson. I had changed back into my normal clothes of jeans, sneakers, and a sweater because Ward was right. Screw Agent Hand and trying to impress her. I was who I was and I think I'd been doing pretty alright with that so far with being a part of this team. It hadn't kept her of locking me out of all Level Seven files while it seemed I was here though. I was tempted to go and give her a piece of my mind.

Though I still had that piece of paper now burning a hole in my jeans pocket. I hadn't quite decided what to do with it yet and was maybe avoiding the point by thinking about this mission. I wasn't going on it, but I wasn't about to take my head out of the game. There might be a him I needed to save somehow here so I was at my most vigilant for my boys. I had to make sure this looked more like a plan and less like a trap. I was clearly already fretting about the two of them.

May pointed on the map. "You need to disable the overkill device by 0600 tomorrow in order to prevent the separatist attack. Once you signal S.H.I.E.L.D., the extraction team will get you both out."

Ward nodded before looking at Coulson who had something to add. "Take care of him."

"Of course, sir." With that, a bounding Fitz came into the room clearly ready to get going. His pack was filled to the brim and it looked like Simmons had made sure he actually zipped the jacket for once. He almost seemed too enthusiastic at the prospect for my liking, maybe because he should be stuck on this same roller coaster I am. He didn't need to try and be this great Agent or hero that he already was. He just had better be careful out there and not do anything stupid so he came back to me… us. Us.

"More moving, less talking, Agent Ward," he announced. "Time's not on our side." And with that he was headed out the other side, but not before giving a meaningful glance back to Simmons who had followed with Skye. I had tried to stay out of the way as the two of them packed, not wanting to be intrusive if he wanted his best friend to calm some of his nerves. But as he exited I knew I couldn't just let him go without anything at all, so I ran after him before Ward could follow. He seemed to sense we needed a moment and hung back.

"Lee!" He turned just as I tackled him in a hug that nearly sent him onto the couch. "I know you're going to be fine and come back, but just make sure it's in one, good, solid piece." We held each other for another moment before I pulled away. "Just remember that you're brilliant. You can run circles around the whole lot of them. And try to keep Ward from getting his ass kicked too much. You're already a hero to me and everyone here. You don't need to go and prove it or something." To Ward it had been a joke, but here I realized I meant it. I had no doubt Fitz could hold his own and I think the way he smiled at me he could see that.

"You really think I'm going to be fine?"

"I'd put an entire box of Pop Tarts on it." He gave me a quick hug again, not realizing I had slipped a whole box in his bag earlier when he left it unaccompanied. It was the least I could do I supposed. And then it was like a piece of me was with him. And I seemed to be helping him with some of the jitters he was doing a much better job hiding than me actually. And I wasn't the one going on this mission.

"Oh, something fell out of your pocket," he noticed when we pulled apart, bending down to pick it up.

"Thanks," I grabbed it, frowning. He clearly noticed this and I knew he wasn't leaving without my explaining it. "Agent Sitwell gave it to me. He said… he said he wants to meet and give me some answers that Fury's hiding from me."

He reacted immediately, hands flailing about. "That's fantastic! Oh, I wish I could be there with you. You will have to tell me everything when you get back. I can't believe it. You might find out who you were." I tried to force a smile. "This is a good thing, Ash. Whatever it is doesn't change who you are now. It'll just give you some piece of mind, especially if there's someone out there looking for you. And this might mean the end of all this searching from the team. You might avoid getting stuck by Simmons again."

"I guess. It's just-"

"Ash, I know you're happy here… with all of us. But, uh, I'm trying to figure out how to say this. Um, of course you don't miss what you don't have. But imagine finally knowing where you came from and having a spot in the universe where you began. And maybe it'll give you some information about why you did this- something concrete. As a scientist I can't say enough for the concrete."

I fondly gave him a swat on the arm. Leave it to Fitz to nearly talk me, the one who talks for a living, into something. "I promise I will… think about visiting him," I managed, not able to fully commit. He seemed to accept this though. "And when you get back we will have a nice Girl Talk before finally watching this Back to the Future film you're desperate for me to see." Another nod and smile, the both of us trying to appear like our first real separation was no big deal but obviously struggling with that fact.

"Ash." I looked up and he gave me the wave, the wave I had received the very first day I had walked on here. It was enough that I was able to breathe again. With that, I backed away from him with a wave before turning to head back to join the girls in the lab. This was how this needed to work. I had to trust Coulson and he trusted this plan. Fitz and Ward would be fine.

I grabbed my tablet from my room plus Cheesetauri since a parked Bus I was sure was permission to remove him from his prison and took a seat in the lab, doing my best to ignore the sounds of everyone moving about the Bus to get supplies on and off. Of course all my real information had been locked, but I did my best to navigate and gather the information about Hand that I could. I wasn't going back into the Hub without something intelligent to say.

Skye just played around on her tablet, distracted, and Simmons was making sure our new friends kept everything in the controlled chaos they had created together. She seemed to be quite the nervous wreck so I tried to flash her as many reassuring smiles as I could and sometimes go over for some comforting words and a few quips. It didn't seem to stop her pacing though… or Skye's sulking. And so it went for hours through a circular motion of all of us trying to keep ourselves from going crazy about the boys… or myself at this meeting. I decided to go and not to go close to a million times in my own head. Cheesetauri just hung out on the table, running this way and that without a care in the world. It was comforting to have him near though. May even stopped in after a while it looked like to do some tallies on various things, merely giving me a look that made me put me end my mouse's day out and put him back in his cage with an apology.

"Please be careful," Simmons addressed the Agents as I came back in, preventing something from falling as they blew past. She laughed to herself as she tucked the object in her bag. "Can you imagine what Fitz would do if the night-night gun was broken when he came back?" She took a moment, sighing. "Surely he'll be okay out there, right?"

"Of course he will be," I chimed in. "He will look after Ward and vice versa. The two of them were picked for this mission because Hand knew they could do it."

"Maybe we could get an update on their mission though," Skye added, looking up at me in a way that I knew instantly what she wanted.

"I can't help you. I'm fake Level Seven so Hand took the liberty of locking me out of all the files. Sorry. Can't do anything for you." I was honestly relieved of the fact. I didn't want Skye getting all of us in trouble with her determination. She needed to wait like the rest of us for the next development.

"Agent May?" she turned her attention. I rolled my eyes at her attempt, completely unsurprised when May didn't even flinch or look at her. "Does that mean that you do know something and you can't tell us, or that you don't know anything? Which non-expression is this?"

"Skye," I chided her, thinking she was taking this frustration too far. She merely shrugged at me, but had at least earned May's attention.

"We know what we're supposed to. When we have more information, we'll react." She looked around before closing her folder, completely calm and in control. "All right, clear out. I need to run some diagnostics, then reboot." Everyone instantly heeded her words, heading down the cargo ramp of the Bus. "That means the three of you as well. Keep them out of trouble, Crawford."

I nodded as Skye angrily grabbed her laptop and stalked down the cargo ramp with a nervous Simmons following and myself at the rear with my tablet. When we reached the bottom she rounded on the two of us- fire in her eyes. "You guys may be okay with being in the dark, but I'm not into it. I need answers." Here we go. Oh, why did May stick me with this job?

"Skye-"

"And I know just the person who has them," she ignored me. Simmons seemed lost, but I instantly knew who she planned on pestering.

"Just leave Coulson out of this. He's busy running this entire operation. Just trust him and wait. Maybe we could play a game of checkers or use all this fancy machinery to test my blood." Anything to distract them. Literally anything.

"I trust him," Skye admitted. "Completely." Thank God. "It's the system here I don't trust. So I'm going to go see if we can get some information. Stay behind me." And with that she went tearing off towards the main halls of the Hub. Simmons turned to look at me, ready to do whatever I did but clearly having a preference.

"Come on." We started out as well. "We need to keep her from being thrown out of here for her morbid curiosity." We managed to pick up her trail pretty easily and managed to hang back as she talked to Coulson with seemingly very frustrating results by the time he walked away, hiding behind a pillar like a couple of idiots so he didn't spot us too and think we were in on this.

"How did it go?" Simmons asked as we came up to where she had been left standing in the middle of the hallway. I folded my arms, completely smug at being right judging by the look on her face.

"Nothing. He's acting like a robot version of himself right now." She suddenly thought of something and turned towards the two of us. "If we want the truth, we've got to get it ourselves."

"No," I shot her down. "No, we are not. We are here representing Coulson and his team. I will not have the two of you drag his reputation here through the mud by getting us into trouble. We are going to find somewhere, sit there, and wait for Coulson and May to give us information."

"Who put you in charge?" Skye questioned harshly. I knew she was lashing out in frustration, but I met her determination with my own.

"I did since I'm being the most logical one here. I'm keeping us all from being court martialed or worse. You're on the Bus by a thread Skye. You can't afford to do anything."

Skye turned to Simmons. "Well, Simmons is the only real Agent here. It should be her choice."

She shook her head. "I can't be part of your bad-girl shenanigans. I like following the rules and doing what's expected of me. It makes me feel nice."

"Simmons, wake up! Ashleigh, you too. Ward and Fitz went on a top-secret, two-man operation, and look. There are more men. And either it's a bigger deal and they're not telling us, or something went wrong out there. And maybe there's nothing we can do to help, but we got to know if there is." I wasn't buying this but was worried at how Simmons was taking it. I needed a plan. "What if they're injured or being tortured somewhere right now? I know you wouldn't want that with how much you care about him." Why was she looking at me while she said that? She was playing to the wrong crowd for certain. We can ask her about her unusual tactics later though. Right now I needed a plan.

Fantastic. "Fitz. Tortured," Simmons spoke slowly. Skye had her. I need to get us out of here right now. And then I remembered the paper in my pocket.

"I have a private meeting with Agent Sitwell," I added suddenly, earning both of their attention. "He's level eight at the least and he wants to meet with me to talk about the whole… situation with my noggin."

"He has something?" Simmons asked, clearly hopeful.

"He seems to think so," I nodded. "So I am going to meet him, and if the two of you swear you will just hold tight in the meantime I will get the information out of him in a way that doesn't require us to do anything we shouldn't be. I asked and he told me. It's on him and we've done nothing wrong." I looked at the two of them. "Deal?"

"Deal," Simmons agreed immediately. "I like this plan. It makes me feel that nice feeling I was describing. Plus, we might find out who you are which is especially exciting." I turned to Skye now, not folding under her glare in the slightest. I was the one in charge here and we all knew it.

"Fine," she gave in, crossing her arms.

"I mean it, Skye. I won't be able to watch you while I'm in there, so I'm trusting you to keep your word on this. Sit down and stay put."

"I promise I will sit down and stay put." I was begrudging, but I would take it. With that, I pulled the piece of paper out of my jean pocket and went to a directory to find where I needed to go, leaving and trusting the two of them to sit down and behave. God, I hope this trust was well-placed.

Once I was out of sight of them though it all became about the fact that I actually had to do this now. I actually had to go to this meeting now. I had to face what I was about to learn. My stomach felt like it was doing cartwheels and I tried to control my breathing. It was going to be fine. Just fine. It wasn't like I had once been an assassin killing innocent people that had been reformed rather than killed, right? That had never happened here before.

Oh wait. Never mind. Totally happened.

Shit.

XXX

Hello. I know it's been a while, but I ran into some writer's block while on the road this chapter and wanted to make sure it wasn't just words but the rights words for shaping the journey ahead I plan to take. So I thank you all for your patience in the meanwhile. Exciting things are happening and I can't wait to continue going forward with a new spark, especially after seeing that premiere for this season. It is impossible to watch without picturing where Ashleigh will be the whole time. But thank you all for being the best fans there are and waiting so patiently. I'm going to make it worth it.

Some have asked for who I would picture and cast as the lovely Ashleigh Crawford so I would like to also provide that today. I consider my inspiration for her to be the lovely and talented Britt Robertson.

Thank you to those who have favorited this story in the meantime. It means an immense deal you consider this to be the cream of the crop. I continuously shocked how much this story continues to grow. So thank you: necko313, FoxBlu, makeyouloveme, stromrunner74, Owlhandler, Carla-Leigh, Panda Nyxus, Dementedmelody, Jess54325, PrewalShadeX, Free. If You Believe, marvelpaperfiction, Evolution3.1, MikaNerd14, The mad wolf, sofialorido272, Lara Barnes, RiverWinchester, klutzygal12, 722alycat, midnight1221, ingisned, and queen 6404.

Thank you to all those who have followed this story, even during a longer than intended hiatus. I hope to be setting off your mailboxes more consistently from here on out. So thank you necko 313, FoxBlu, etatheta, makeyouloveme, Carla-Leigh, Blondie 24-7, Owlhandler, littlelovelylottie, AlisonArlington, Jess54325, PrewalShadeX, Free. If You Believe, marvelpaperfiction, EvilWereWolf18, Lara Barnes, Evolution3.1, DWgeek2010, MikaNerd13, The mad wolf, AllyBxoxo, Arianna Mitoko, TOASTERLLAMA, .Stories, Arinlienetter, K. , midnight1221, ingisned, and klutzygal12.

And thank you to my lovely reviewers who kept me going as I struggled at bit with such kind words and pushing. Thank you: necko212, Connie Weasley, Enecs, GiraffePanda2, MulishaMaiden, DarknessHitsMe, HoneyBunnyLemon, NessyBooEvans, TOASTERLLAMA, Guest, and klutzygal12. A special thank-you to NessieBooEvans who really worked to get my rear in gear. I save every review so thank you all for being the best.